Reviews from

in the past


AWOOOOOOOOOO!!! ow ow ooowwwwwh!!!
That’s it. That’s all I remember from this game.

Cheio de boas idéias, mas essa poha é ruim pa krlh

The first game I ever played is one of the lamest beat 'em ups I've ever played. If you know what you're doing, it'll take no more than ten minutes to blast through it. It's decent enough but it's only a classic in a pre-'Final Fight' world.

Side note: I'm reposting this review on the correct version of the game this time. I'll be more observant about these things in the future.

It's an okay game that Sega keeps trying to trick everyone into thinking was an all-time classic.

Before Sonic, there was Altered Beast as the Genesis/Mega Drive's pack-in title. Did it do its job? Ehhh...

On one hand, it does a pretty great job at immediately showcasing the system's power, with this looking almost identical to the arcade machine, something very impressive at the time. Sound's not quite as nice, as always, but it's still far better than what the NES could do, and as a whole it does definitely give you the "arcade at home" experience. As a game tho? This is as forgettable as they come.

This game's legacy is just "that one weird buff furry game that came with the Genesis before Sonic did" and for good reason. It's a bland, repetitive beat 'em up with stiff controls that you can beat in an hour as long as you're willing to put up with how boring and simplistic it is. It's not horrible, it's an okay freebie and an alright technical showcase, but it's instantly clear why this was replaced by Sonic just two years later.

Unbelievably, before Sonic the Hedgehog arrived on the scene, Altered Beast was SEGA's big, flagship game. Paraded to consumers as a (relatively) faithful adaption of the arcade version, Altered Beast showcased what the Mega Drive could do graphically and sonically, especially compared to the aging NES. It evidently worked but Altered Beast has aged like milk and isn't really worth revisiting.

The game is essentially a scrolling beat 'em up but it suffers from woefully stiff movement, a limited move-set and very little enemy variety. The game is frustratingly difficult because the character you control moves like ass and levels have no real design to speak of, they're just totally flat stretches that see an occasional enemy stroll into view to bash.

Admittedly Altered Beast does have some memetic value. I mean, you're playing as a buff bodybuilder who wanders around graveyards in tight little speedos, punching the heads off shambling zombies before transforming into a wolf or a dragon or whatever. There's something hilarious about the premise. It's a shame the game doesn't offer anything beyond a light chuckle.

I never understood this game, it was probably someone’s kink. But I’m not opposed to it, it’s short and fun and not so hard. Plus, the music and the graphics are notoriously good for its time.