1495 Reviews liked by Assenemy


how is it possible to be this boring

Im not mentally developed enough to play this or not giggle at the title

a hot sexy man bought this for me so its pretty good so far on that merit alone. Secret ending was also funny and chorizo is super cute. Plus Danny Trejo is in this

Im pretty sure if I wanted to, I could cum to the battle music

I just finished the game as im writing this, I'm kind of in pieces so this probably won't come out all that cohesive but I have a lot I want to say . Definitely the most solid cast of the games, Kaito is legit probably my second favorite video game character of all time. Maybe because i've been trained from the previous games but despite the trials still being incredibly solid (1 in particular is just mindblowing and 5 is emotional as fuck) they were a bit easier to guess the killer. But honestly they're still really good anyway so it doesn't matter. I do think the motives for 2 and 3 are just a bit absurd for DR and kinda took me out of it but in the grand scheme of things if those are the only real complaints i have with the game then i'll fucking take it. I love this game. I hate the ending yet I loved it so much. I don't know what to think. But i'll never forget this game, thats for sure.

NANAKO FUCKING DANCING IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

This is the last game I have to play before I have tried out all the Nintendo Switch NES classics that come with online. I can feel the fatigue setting in. Perhaps it set in a long time ago. My discolored eyes have melted into the recesses of my sunken sockets, the blood that has poured out of my ears from all this 8 bit music is beginning to dry. I lay on the floor of this vast, barren wasteland hoping, wishing, begging and crying out for any semblance of harmony or safety. Any faint memory, mirage or not, of the place I once called home. But there is none. For all there is is the dirt under my fingernails, caked from all the desperate crawling I did in the off chance I was heading in the direction of sanctuary. A final, pathetic plea that brought nothing but more misery. So I lay here, mouth agape, useless thoughts and imaginings of a better - a vastly different - timeline fill my slowly draining brain. I can't take it much longer. My throat is a desert of thirst, cracked from drought as it clings on to the unspoken and unlikely promise of rain. My arms and legs would give out if I even dared to try standing. Im just about to let it all end.. I mean why wouldn't I? What else is left for me? But then. Then I see it. Off in the distance. What is it? Its too far, I can't tell. But its moving. Is it moving towards me? I lift my head off the hard ground slightly and try to let out a scream for help but all that comes out is a wheeze. I drop my head back onto the dirt. I have no energy. Theres nothing to do but watch as the heavy figure slowly lumbers towards me. It's getting closer, and with every step it takes my eyelids pull towards eachother as if they were magnets. I don't know how much longer I can keep them open. Is this what it feels like to die? Or maybe this is already hell. But now isn't the time to ponder that, as I can hardly think anymore already. The little detour of thought distracted me from the figure long enough to not realize it had reached me. With the last bit of my strength, I looked up to see him standing over me. Donkey Kong, a bundle of his favorite fruit clutched in his hand. I could almost taste them already. Kong peered down at me for a while, studying me. No words were spoken, as for he is an ape and I might as well be. I wish I could know what hes thinking in these final moments, but its no use, why does it matter? Its over for me. He lets out a low grunt, perhaps out of pity before he keeps on walking, and he spares me no bananas.

This one is called Vs. Excitebike because its was competing to see if it could be worse than the original