With how negative the reviews on here are, you'd think they were playing Dark Castle or Gadget Twins. Like you mentioned, it's so brief it's hard to stay mad at it.

I was genuinely stunned how the controls were functional even within the standards and confides of a pre-Final Fight beat em up from 1988, aside from the jumping being wonky, and only the Headless Zombies were annoying with or without the powerups, I seriously have no idea what this game did to piss off so many people on here

It's absolutely a fine/average game, I would even go as far as to say it was a decent pack-in title back when it originally released to showcase the Genesis's ability to bring an arcade-like experience home. The negativity just feels forced at times, or that people never wanted to bother inevitably losing on their first few attempts while they learned how to tackle the stages or the quick-kills on some of the bosses.

Like again it ain't Bare Knuckle III, but I do genuinely find it to be a fun little romp to pop in once every few months.

I just finished the arcade version as soon as you finished writing that funnily enough. Gonna make a quick review of it, but even then I still have no idea what or how this game garnered such notoriety

I don't like it much personally but the 5/10 comment is pretty sound. I've played far worse games, this one just isn't good though. It's the king of mediocrity.

It's definitely on the upper echelon of "adequate media you can vibe for a bit on", I don't see myself playing it for a quick bout but I can for others

I actually enjoy playing this game with friends a lot every Halloween season. It's such a short and goofy experience I have to wonder why it's shat on so much.
You should try Splatterhouse 1 btw