Dragon's Lair, a vintage piece from the crypt of arcade horrors. Imagine the agony of trial and error, akin to trying to comprehend the chaos of a Discord server with too many bots. The game's unique selling point? You get to experience a multitude of spectacular deaths in gorgeous animation. It's like playing a twisted version of "Choose Your Own Death Adventure." The controls are about as reliable as a $5 psychic reading. While some may revel in the nostalgia, it's more of a "look, but don't touch" affair. A generous 4/10 for the pain-soaked journey through Dragon's Lair.

Sonic CD, the game that brought us "time travel" in a blue hedgehog's world. It's like they threw a DeLorean into Green Hill Zone and called it innovation. The soundtrack is decent, but beware the ominous warning: PCM 12 and DA 25 might induce an unexpected bathroom emergency. Maybe it's Sonic's way of saying, "Gotta Go Fast" has a whole new meaning. While the time-travel gimmick adds some spice, it's still the same old Sonic formula. If you're into retro platformers with quirky sound test surprises, Sonic CD might be your thing. A casual 7/10 for being the oddball in Sonic's library.

Now, imagine if Ultimate Duck Hunting had an unexpected twist, a mid-game transformation that turned your serene duck hunt into a chaotic game of Among Us. Accusations flying faster than shotgun pellets, suspicion building with every quack, and alliances forming and breaking like the fragile alliances in the classic social deduction game. It's a missed opportunity that could have elevated this snoozefest to meme-worthy glory. But alas, we're stuck in a duck-centric purgatory with no impostors in sight. The potential for a hilarious crossover boosts the score a smidge to 3/10.

Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is a mind-boggling journey into the abyss of horrible 2D platformers, serving as a painful reminder of why some franchises should stay buried. The inclusion of utterly useless collectibles is a testament to the game's commitment to pure mediocrity. The hope for the Woolies to strike Bubsy down seems like a desperate plea for an end to this onslaught of dogshit games. Bubsy's "humorous" involvement in the tragic event, 9/11, is not only tasteless but adds another layer of absurdity to this already disastrous experience. This game is a mockery of the platformer genre and deserves a generous 2 out of 10 for its unintentional comedic value.

(＾• ω •＾) Meowdy meowsters! If you're looking for a game to collect kitties without the hassle of dealing with the cat girls in FFXIV's horny jail or Kirby's perpetual napping, Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector might catch your fancy. It embraces its quirkiness with expressive cat animations and a lighthearted approach to virtual cat collection. However, be warned, the game takes a unique turn by hilariously telling you to "F U C K O F F" after making a purchase. Bonus points for being the first self-aware piece of shovelware that actively encourages you not to play. A bizarre twist that adds an unexpected layer to the typical mobile gaming experience. Score: 7/10.

"Guys trust me, this game is good," Markiplier once exclaimed, diving headfirst into the world of pixelated prisons in "MARKIPLIER GETS PUNISHED | The Escapists 2 - Part 1." Now, it's my turn to share my thoughts on this game. And oh boy, The Escapists 2 has a lot more to offer than just Markiplier's escapades.

First things first, let's get a few things out of the way. Madman Mackola, Danganronpa, and WarioWare might be fine for some, but if you're in the mood for a unique and challenging prison-break experience, The Escapists 2 is where the real action is.

The game puts you in the shoes of an inmate, and your sole mission is to escape from various correctional facilities. It's a bit like a prison sandbox, offering you the freedom to craft your cunning escape plan or follow one of the pre-designed ones. The level of detail in the prisons is impressive, and the puzzles will genuinely make you think. It's a far cry from the mind-numbing simplicity of some other games.

While Markiplier's enthusiasm is contagious, it's important to remember that The Escapists 2 isn't just a playground for YouTubers. It's a game that requires strategy, resource management, and a good deal of patience. The escapades can be both thrilling and infuriating, especially when a carefully constructed plan goes haywire.

The multiplayer mode adds another layer of enjoyment. Team up with friends or create chaos by trying to foil their escape attempts. It's a recipe for countless hilarious moments, and it's where The Escapists 2 truly shines.

Now, it's not perfect. The controls can feel a bit clunky, and the learning curve can be steep for newcomers. But isn't that part of the charm? You're not just breaking out of prison; you're escaping your comfort zone.

So, if you're looking for a game that offers more substance than just a famous YouTuber's endorsement, The Escapists 2 is a solid choice. It's a challenging and engaging experience that will keep you coming back for more, long after Markiplier's escape saga has ended.

Score: 8/10

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin, man, it's like a perfect symphony of farming and combat. You know, it's like when Anthony Fantano says, "I'm thinking... a 10" – that's how good this game is. It's not just a game; it's an experience. The way it combines the serene art of rice cultivation with kick-ass combat is mind-blowing.

Fantano would probably give it a 10 just for the sheer creativity and uniqueness. The visuals, the storyline, the whole vibe – it's a masterpiece. Sakuna doesn't just entertain; it immerses you in a world where growing rice is as thrilling as kicking demon butt. If Anthony Fantano were reviewing Sakuna, he'd likely give it that coveted 10, he's not here to do so, so I'll have to take the wheel instead:

I'm thinking... a 10

The exclamation "MY DECISION IS FIOOOOONNALLLL" seems to encapsulate the essence of Ape Academy 2. This game, like a firm and unwavering declaration, tries to assert its identity within the realm of quirky and unusual mini-game collections. However, whether this final decision leads to pure enjoyment or a head-scratching experience is a matter of perspective.

Ape Academy 2 offers a slew of mini-games that range from bizarre to outright absurd. You'll find yourself engaged in tasks like catapulting monkeys, participating in rhythm-based challenges, and even embarking on peculiar races. It's a carnival of the bizarre, and it's clear that the developers didn't hold back when concocting these peculiar challenges.

The game's aesthetics, characterized by colorful and cartoonish graphics, do add a touch of whimsy. Still, even this visual charm can't quite mask the fact that Ape Academy 2's mini-games often feel disjointed and lack cohesion. It's as if the developers took a bunch of zany ideas and tossed them into a blender to see what came out.

Despite the evident chaos, there's a certain charm to Ape Academy 2's madness. If you're seeking a gaming experience that defies convention and embraces the absurd, this title might be right up your alley. However, for those who prefer their gaming experiences to have a bit more structure and coherence, this may be one final decision that leaves you scratching your head.

Score: 5/10

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the ultimate gatekeeper of gaming achievements. This game's existence seems solely to check whether you've conquered the gaming realm. If you've never beaten a Pokémon game but claim to be a Smash enthusiast, you might find yourself exiled. The character roster is a parade of gaming icons, each fighter a living testament to their gaming legacy.

The reason for this game's existence? It's not just to brawl; it's to measure your gaming mettle. From Mario's exploits in Super Mario 64 DS to Sonic's adventures in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, each character embodies gaming history. And if you haven't conquered the source games of certain characters, well, Smash Bros might not be for you. It's more than a game; it's a reckoning of your gaming conquests.

Score: 9.5/10

King of Clubs, oh where do I even begin? A game that seems to have taken a unique approach to design, but unfortunately, ends up feeling like a confusing mess. It's quite evident that there was an attempt to create something different here, but as the saying goes, "too many cooks spoil the broth," or in this case, too much fanbase influence might have led things astray.

The game's mechanics and overall design feel disjointed and lacking a clear direction. It's as if Cheggersfan76 had an outsized influence on the development process. While it's admirable for game studios to engage with their fanbase, it's clear that this title suffered from an overdose of fan-driven ideas.

From the moment you pick up the controller, you're met with a game that seems to be torn between various concepts. The gameplay oscillates between mini-golf, platforming, and puzzling elements, often leaving you wondering what the true focus of the game is. It's a classic example of too many ideas crammed into one package without a clear understanding of how they should all come together.

One can't help but think that if the developers had taken a more cohesive approach and trusted their creative instincts rather than trying to appease every fan's request, King of Clubs might have turned out to be a more enjoyable experience. It's evident that the attempt to incorporate too many suggestions led to a lack of polish and refinement.

The visuals and audio elements of the game further add to the sense of confusion. The art style seems to waver between cartoonish and realistic, contributing to the overall lack of identity. The soundtrack, while not terrible, fails to make a lasting impression and often gets lost amidst the muddled gameplay.

In conclusion, King of Clubs is a prime example of why blindly catering to fan demands can backfire. The game struggles to find its footing, and the result is an experience that feels like a jumbled mess. Cheggersfan76's influence might have inadvertently steered the game off course, and the end product is a game that leaves players scratching their heads rather than feeling entertained. While the effort to engage with the fanbase is commendable, the outcome here serves as a cautionary tale of how too much input can lead to a lackluster final product.

Rating: 3/10

Emerald...Splash. Here I am, standing on the precipice of an alternate reality – one where the martial art of Stand-fighting reigns supreme. It all began when we introduced someone who knows karate into the fray, but little did we know, it was the catalyst for an epic transformation.

So, picture this – I've spent years mastering my Stand, Hierophant Green. But one day, something changed. A new contender arrived on the scene, a so-called "Gun Girl." She was packing heat, and not just any heat – it was a barrage of bullets. I watched in awe as she unleashed a relentless combination of Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Reload.

It was like watching a new form of Stand-fighting, where gunplay and martial arts clashed. And the world was transformed. We all began to realize that our decades of mastering karate were in vain. It wasn't about who could throw the most precise punch anymore; it was about firepower and precision, guns taking the upper hand.

Banks, once thought to be impenetrable fortresses, were now facing an entirely new threat – armed robberies on a massive scale. No more "Ora Ora Ora" – it was all "Brrrrrrrrrrrr." The world's economy plunged into uncertainty, and those who once made a living from karate dojos had to reinvent themselves as gunsmiths.

The most significant loss in this transformation? The United States. A country renowned for its karate abilities, one with the most powerful military, suddenly had to abandon its martial prowess. They tried karate nukes, but even those couldn't stand against the power of firearms. America, once a titan, was reduced to a shadow of its former self, its economy losing trillions of enkidollars.

On the other side of this alternate reality, the Japanese stood resolute, holding onto their gun culture. They remained loyal to their weapons and swiftly adapted to the new era. Even after facing numerous karate nukes from America, they persevered, transforming into the world's most powerful military.

And amid this chaos, there was a curious moment. Neco-Arc, that mischievous character from the Type-Moon universe, couldn't help but celebrate the insanity of it all with her whimsical dance, as if to say, "This is a world where anything goes."

And thus,, I witnessed the transformation of a world where karate once reigned supreme into a place where gunplay took over. An alternate reality I never thought I'd see. It's like a Stand battle where the rules have been completely rewritten. So, prepare yourself, for this is an adventure that will have you training for another 200 years if you want to make sense of it all.

Score: 9/10

"Family Feud: 2010 Edition", well, it's a bit like the lyrics of the Scottish anthem, "Flower of Scotland." It makes you wonder when you'll see its like again – not because it fought and died for a wee bit Hill and Glen, but because it provides a unique gaming experience. However, just like the bare hills and autumn leaves, this game might feel a bit past its prime.

Much like the historical struggles mentioned in the song, you might find yourself pitted against Proud Edward's Army, but this time it's in the form of in-game questions and challenges. The game, with its interactive take on the classic TV show, allows you to relive the days of classic family battles.

Considering the inspiration from Scotland's anthem, I'd give this game a solid 6 out of 10. It's a nostalgic ride, but it might be time to think again if you're looking for a more modern family feud experience.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, especially in its Dreamcast version, brings to light an unexplored realm of power. It all starts with the undiscovered meta-defining move, Alessi's frame 0 startup push attack, the push that defies both logic and the limits of your joystick. Once Alessi was unleashed, the competitive scene would never be the same.

The power of this push isn't something you can comprehend until you've witnessed it firsthand. For over two decades, this meta-defining maneuver remained hidden, waiting for the right player to unleash its full potential. It was Madman Mackola who dared to select Alessi on the character select screen, forever altering the landscape of competitive JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. His unmatched dominance led to a desperate ban petition that would ultimately be futile.

Alessi's incredible push is not just powerful; it's a game-changer. The hitbox remains active even when it shouldn't, altering the very fabric of the game. The Alessi ditto, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, forced players to mash their controllers at lightning speed, resulting in many a shattered joystick and countless cases of carpal tunnel.

The tournament scene soon crumbled, Alessi dittos became the only matchup, and there were no functional hands left to play. Madman Mackola's retirement marked the end of an era in Dreamcast JoJo history, as the Alessi push proved too intense to master.

This game gives you a firsthand experience of Alessi's true power, faithfully adapting JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Mackola's journey to become a pro JoJo's Bizarre Adventure player, fueled by Alessi's push, was legendary. He believed in its untapped potential, demonstrating how the ability to push an opponent at the speed of Mach left no room for counterplay. Alessi's push proved mightier than any stand, and the world was left to witness its relentless force.

However, the competitive scene was not ready for this level of power, and Mackola's attempt to reveal the truth behind Alessi's push was met with resistance. The tournament organizers couldn't handle the intensity, citing Mackola's supposed cheat device. But Mackola knew their true fears – they didn't want him to reveal Alessi's potential.

Undeterred, Mackola plotted his return to the scene, vowing to expose the world to Alessi's power. He organized a unique demonstration with fellow Alessi cosplayers, prepared to storm the competitive JoJo event. The goal was simple: to spread the truth about Alessi, no matter what it took. The world was about to learn the real power of Alessi.

In Alessi, the dream of a true JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Dreamcast champion was reborn. On October 27, 2023, the world will witness the unveiling of this unstoppable force, Alessi's push, forever changing the competitive landscape. Be there to witness the true power of Alessi; the world will finally be just. October 27, 2023 – history in the making.

Score: ∞/10

Causes 98% of automobile accidents since 2009! Dance Dance Revolution: Disney Grooves takes a wild turn on classic Disney tunes, introducing unexpected twists like car crashes into Elsa's ice fortress. This audacious move might be amusing for those seeking unconventional gameplay, but it's a chaotic departure from the standard DDR experience. And of course, what would any Disney-themed game be without the iconic Mickey Mouse? As Anasui from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure might put it, without Mickey, it's just not Disney. The game brings a level of absurdity that either delights or bewilders players, depending on their appetite for unconventional rhythm games.

Score: 9/10

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games offers a variety of winter sports events for players to enjoy. However, it is unfortunate to note that Team Weezer's participation in the game has been overshadowed by a series of unfortunate events.

Team Weezer struggled tremendously throughout their Olympic journey. From constant failures in ice skating and ski slopes to chaotic snowball fights, their lack of coordination resulted in numerous broken bones and even injuries. The inclusion of questionable events like snowball fights raises eyebrows, as it doesn't seem to fit the spirit of the Olympic Games.

Additionally, the financial troubles faced by Team Weezer, particularly Yoshi's incarceration for tax evasion, paint a bleak picture for Rivers' crew. The team's excessive spending and resulting debt on useless items from the in-game shop showcase their inability to manage resources responsibly.

The emotional toll of these failures has had a lasting impact on team members Wario and Eggman. Wario's descent into alcoholism and continuous nightmarish flashbacks from the snowboarding event highlight the detrimental effects of their experiences. Meanwhile, Eggman's homelessness due to unpaid hospital bills further emphasizes the negative consequences of their misadventures.

Furthermore, the untimely death of Shadow and his continued presence as dead weight during the bobsledding event is a grim reminder of the team's unfortunate destiny.

Considering the numerous setbacks faced by Team Weezer, it is evident that their Olympic journey was fraught with hardship and disappointment. While Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games presents a wide range of events and characters, it is disheartening to see poor execution and a lack of success for a team with so much promise.

Final Thoughts:
Despite the game offering a wide array of events and characters, the unfortunate experience of Team Weezer significantly impacts the overall entertainment value. It is difficult to recommend this game to players looking for a seamless and enjoyable Olympic experience.

Score: 3/10