22007 Reviews liked by Detectivefail


This is my favorite Zelda game basically just because its very comforting to play. Sailing around is a joy, hitting stuff is fun, and Link, Tetra, and Zelda are all adorable. That said, it has some pretty significant issues and I think probably doesn't deserve to be the favorite of the majority of people.

First off, the open world is fairly empty, and mostly consists of (albeit very fun, and aided vastly by innovative use of the the Wii U subscreen) collectathon busywork. There's also only like, 6 dungeons, a few of which are somewhat tedious. There's no big midsection twist that changes the nature of the world or anything in the middle either, like in a lot of Zelda games, so as such it feels kind of narratively unfinished. You get the three pearls, go to the ancient tower to get the master sword, do a lot of collecting to power up the master sword and get the Triforce, then beat Ganon. Well done, roll credits.

So why am I giving in such a high score, then? Well, I've encountered this thing among people who really like Breath of Wild where they will excuse its empty world, dearth of dungeons, and overall meatless story progression by saying that it just feels like such a lovely game to explore, and The Wind Waker is that to me. The feeling of sailing the opaquely blue seas, braving grey storms and sepia dawns, to discover every square and solve the often impressively arcane little puzzles on each of them to get a cool little goody is just so addicting. There's so much magic to it, and what little story there is is also quite a unique take on Zelda about rebuilding a Hyrule long sunken into an endless sea. Its all capped off with a truly legendary final duel with Ganondorf, too, which makes even more memorable. I dunno, man, I just like it a lot.

Crysis is misunderstood. Thought by many to be little more than a "tech demo," Crysis was legendary at the time for its system requirements and beauty in equal measure. "Can it run Crysis?" was the meme of the day for PC gamers, and anyone who could answer yes had surely invested unspeakable sums of money and blood magic into their rig.

But that's not important in 2023. What is important is that Crysis is secretly the greatest Predator video game of all time. Armed with a high-tech nanosuit that can switch between armored, super-speed, super-strength, and invisibility superpowers with the press of a button and the flick of your mouse, Crysis - when played in a way taking advantage of its unique gameplay features - elevates itself above the dread-inducing moniker of "7th gen first person shooter with regenerating health" and becomes a thrilling jungle hunting simulator, allowing you to sprint through the trees, super jump onto corrugated tin roofs, toss grenades into shanty houses and collapse them on top of hapless commandos before leaping back into the foliage and cloaking yourself to reposition and do it all again.

The story is irrelevant. It's a goofy, jingoistic plot about Secret Alien Ruins in the Philippines and how you must secure them for the United States because the CIA, renowned for its caution and foresight, knows better than the wily and power-hungry North Koreans that some powers are not meant to be controlled by man. And then the aliens wake up and you shoot them like Halo. That part sucks, and unfortunately the fact that the latter third of the game is mostly that detracts pretty heavily from the experience.

But the first two acts of the game are secretly brilliant. Most missions are comprised of an open map with a waypoint on it where you need to go blow something up or go kill some soldiers. How you make your approach - your path, your methods, your weapons and techniques - it's all up to you, and the game offers a shocking amount of freedom and experimentation in this regard. You COULD play this like a boring 7th gen cover shooter and just engage in firefights with the KPA while using armor mode... OR you could have fun and never use armor mode at all. You could use rocket launchers to collapse a guard tower instead of counter-sniping the guy at its top. You could rocket that tank or you could cloak yourself, drop C4 on it, and sprint away whlie you hit the detonator. You could shoot the gunner in that jeep or you could sprint around it, shoot the jerry can on its back and watch it explode. You could go grab a car and turn yourself invisible in the driver's seat, then drive it at top speed into that machine gun nest and jump out at the last second, creating a fireball of death that leaves the AI scrambling for cover.

Speaking of AI, it's the reactions of the KPA soldiers that really helps complete the fantasy. They're attentive and dangerous, but if you use your powers right, they're also completely hapless, and it's the act of sneaking up on a fireteam from behind, grabbing one of them, and throwing him into the rest of his team like a bowling ball that really completes the power fantasy. Without their desperate attempts to stop you, the reactivity of the AI, their shouting and firing wildly into your last known location when you activate your cloak - without them all of this would fall apart.

Crysis is not perfect, but it is great. It's greater than history gives it credit for. It is a forgotten giant of 2000s stealth video games, and for anyone who enjoys a little Metal Gear Solid or Splinter Cell sneaking-and-hunting action and is looking for more - Crysis has your fix.

This expansion was just generally amazing with what it brought to the game and prepared it for going forward, but most notable for me is that it also includes one of my favorite pieces of content in any game I've ever played (the Last Wish raid), which I've honestly made so many fond memories playing through with various raid groups throughout the years. It makes me sad that we're probably never going to get another raid experience like it that requires your team to be on top of so many things at once if you want to even consider winning. Even if being as power-creeped as we are now trivializes the difficulty of Last Wish in general, it's still one of the most solidly designed and straight-up fun experiences I think you'll find in the medium of gaming as a whole (as long as your team of 6 is pleasant to play with lol).

I also should mention that the Crown of Sorrow raid (which imo does fall under the forsaken expansion) genuinely has my favorite final boss fight in all of gaming.

It goes to show how much of a roller coaster Destiny in general exists as. It shows so much genuine creativity and talent in these small pockets of greatness. From the lore, to the insanely diverse art direction, to the music, to the weird amalgamation of puzzle mechanics with fps shooter gameplay on top of an MMORPG feel, the game has so much potential there that feels like it was just tossed out like a game of jacks. It's generally at least decent, but when it works, holy hell it fucking WORKS.

While I have in many ways moved on from Destiny as a whole, I still do look back on it for moments like those very fondly. It has in many ways shaped a lot of things in my life, for better or for worse, but the good does definitely overshadow the bad. It's impossible to really recommend it to someone in the current day, but still, as something I was there for from basically the beginning, it's something I'm thankful for being able to say I experienced.

Not really much I can add to this that others haven't already said, but I'll try anyway. Really like how short yet tightly designed each stages are, plus messing around with the different weapons for each case right around when they're necessary keeps the kit fresh throughout, and also helps to really figure out their niches. For instance, there's a shield that pierces through to the enemy machinery that I initially wrote off due to how its range is pitiful, but a stage thoroughly utilizes this aspect to have you break through the walls in order to destroy the laser chargers that impede on your progression. It's good shit, and the game contextualizes the gravity shifts in numerous styles that I really wasn't expecting. I've been meaning to do a writeup of sorts about Irem and their history, and cases like this, Ninja Baseball Batman, the R-Type series, GunForce 1&2, and even way later in the console gens where they crafted PS2 cult hits Disaster Report 1&2 and Steambot Chronicles make it all the more tempting. By the way, the music here is exquisite, easily one of the best sounds on the system, and something I highly suggest you check out even if you decide to skip out on the game.

I'll still call this a bit of an overlooked gem on the system, but a few things hold it back from really achieving the same level as Mega Man 4 or Castlevania 3. Firstly, these backgrounds suck. They're not poorly made or anything like that, it's just that they're those types of NES/Famicom graphics where they majorly use one or two colors yet detailed in a way that, while fine stationary or staring at them via screencaps become irritating on the eyes when playing. I didn't get nauseous, but it was seriously annoying. Secondly, the bosses are weaksauce. They're either pitifully easy to figure out the pattern, or are super tight in dodges that you're likely to power through brute force instead of any level of skill. Makes me glad this game has infinite continues on top of my rewind, otherwise I'd be busting out save states like it was nothin. Although, I did use a translation hack for the Japanese version that not only has a few line of dialog, but is also supposedly a little bit harder. I never really felt there was a grand sense of difficulty, but some aspects did feel a little tighter than they should be.

Other than that, this did remind me I have way more Irem catalog to check out, I've actually only ever completed this and NBBM for the moment. I'll figure it out from there, especially since I'm not really in the mood to delve in long-form commitments in games for the time being.

Did you ever play Resident Evil 4 and want to just organize that inventory? It's kind of satisfying getting all your items in the right spot, so someone thought that should be its own puzzle game. In Save Room, you organize weapons, health, and other items ripped straight from the game it's inspired by.

There are only 40 puzzles in total and you can blow through them in just about an hour. On the left is a cache with a grid and on the right are the items you need to fit in there. There are just enough squares to fit every item exactly. You begin with just fitting small pistols and then larger weapons like shotguns and rifles. Shortly after this, you need to organize health items and grenades. Things get more complicated when you start out with too many items.

Well, just like in RE4, you have a health meter and need to refill your guns. You need to do this in a certain order as this is also part of the puzzle. You may have three health items, but can only use two so you must figure out how to combine herbs and also hurt yourself with poisoned eggs and fish to be able to use more health items. Later on towards the last dozen puzzles you start crafting ammo in addition to stacking ammo and reloading weapons.

This all sounds complicated, but if you ever played RE4 you know exactly what to do already. A few puzzles will get your brain juices flowing. Mostly the ones that needed me to combine certain types of ammo and reload or stack ammo in a certain order. I only had to look up a few puzzles online, but most are quick trial and error levels and you will be breezing through them.

This sounds like a great concept, but in the end, it gets old really fast and it makes you just want to play RE4 instead. The visuals are pretty ugly, there's a single track that loops in the background, and that's all there is too this. For the low asking price I can't really complain. I had my hour of fun, but it's totally forgettable. This isn't on the same level as Portal or even something like The Room series. You won't be talking about this 10 years from now. I honestly can only recommend this to RE4 fans who want some sort of weird spin-off. Anyone else who never played RE4 just won't care about this or even get the idea.

despite having the most polished gameplay, this manages to be just as polarizing as other monster world games. it may play the best, but what does that mean when it has some of the most annoying level design in the series and other annoyances such as the armor vendor just disappearing in the last third of the game whether you have the best armor or not, or its unexplained "magic" stat
perhaps the remake fixes things, but as it is, this game is a mixed bag. if you want a sidescrolling jump-n-slash rpg, i can't say i dont recommend this game, because for all its flaws its still fun, but just know going in that its not without its problems

I kinda dropped off Pokemon Legends: Arceus a few months after it originally released. I actually had faith in this game, if you can believe it. I couldn't tell you why I left the game alone for over a year. Perhaps I just wanted to wait for the hype and slander to die off. It's possible that ancient Japan settings were overdone at that time. Maybe I got legitimately bored of it! I guess that's for me to write, and for us to find out.

In this game, Arceus yeets a small child 100 years into the past, gives them a God Phone, and basically tells them to help create the first ever Sinnoh Pokedex. You do this with the assistance of the Galaxy Expedition Team, who research and work with Pokemon for the betterment of mankind. The people of Jubilife Village are, justifiably, cautious and afraid of these monstrosities known as "Pokemon". Moreover, space-time distortions have been sending some of the region's most important 'mons into a frenzied state, and need to be calmed before innocents are hurt. That's a lot of responsibility for one kid, but that's never stopped a Pokemon protagonist. These children are forged in the deepest pits of hell, and can stop damn near any criminal organization if they try.

Hisui is a world that's untamed by human hands, which is a roundabout way of saying that outside of Jubilife Village, it's honestly pretty barren. each of the game's five area maps contain a handful of notable landmarks, but for the most part, it's just big landscapes with different pokemon species and crafting materials strategically sprinkled throughout. The particle effects are really damn good, and the animations are better than they've been previously. Not sure how to feel about the cel-shaded style, as everyone ends up looking like they're made of clay. The game really suffers from textures looking like mud upon close inspection, which is something that Game Freak has an unfortunate tendency to put front-and-center. However, the sound design and music really pick up the slack where the visuals falter. Battle music is often backed by Japanese instruments like shamisens and taiko drums, plus a healthy dose of piano for that Sinnoh feel. Encountering familiar areas like Eterna Forest actually plays arrangements of their themes, but in a more primitive form (this is something that I wish games like Breath of the Wild would do). It helps sell that sense that you're in an ancient version of Sinnoh, not yet moulded by modern civilization.

After 20+ years of walking into tall grass and being ambushed by Pokemon, Game Freak finally gave us the chance to be the ambushee. The name of the game is throwing Pokeballs at Pokemon. It's a simple concept, but in a game with no random encounters, it creates a really involved gameplay loop. Spotting a Pokemon you don't have (or just one you want) dragged me off the beaten path countless times, and different Pokemon react differently to your presence. Some of them are just vibing, some will run away if they spot you, and many, many of them will attack you on sight. That's what really ties the thrill of hiding in tall grass together: wild Pokemon can and will kill you (before a Galaxy Team member drags your unconscious ass back to camp. They're not about to lose their child labor). It's all in the name of research though, which involves attempting to catch basically every Pokemon you see.

Also stalking the map are "Alpha Pokemon", specimens that are significantly larger and stronger than their usual counterparts. You can stealth capture these guys, but more often than not, you'll need to weaken them in battle if you want to catch them. You initiate battle just like how you catch Pokemon: aim and throw your Pokemon's ball at your foe. This game brings so many new and helpful features to the Pokemon series. (Well, they may just be new to me. The last "new" Pokemon game I played was ORAS before dropping the series for years.) Pokemon no longer have severe short-term memory loss; You can re-learn old moves at any time outside of battle. EVs are visible from the start, and are manually raised by using special items. Each area is also capped off with a boss fight where you dodge through the Lord Pokemon's attacks while throwing pocket sand at them to calm them down. All of this game's ideas come together to create something that you don't really get from any other Pokemon game.

Honestly, the part of Pokemon Legends: Arceus that concerns me the most is that "Arceus" is a subtitle, implying they plan on making more games in this side-series. I wouldn't be opposed to that, but I feel like they'd need to go in a completely different, derivative direction with the gameplay. Doing the same thing in a new region is guaranteed to get a completely apathetic response out of me. PLA grabbed my attention because it did something truly unique in a series that has generally had the same gameplay for over two decades. It's been a good while since Game Freak wowed me with a Pokemon game, and PLA only works because I can feel their creative drive behind it. If you asked me a year ago what I thought about this game, I would've given you the whole "I expect more out of the highest-grossing media franchise of all time" spiel. Having finished it now, I can safely say this is the most I've enjoyed a Pokemon game since Black/White 2, my favorite games in the franchise.

A really good thing about this website is through following people and interacting with the network of users I've found on here, I'm reminded of all the smaller games that completely evaporate from memory because of how passive my interaction with them was. Super Hexagon was a phone game I spent a lot of time on maybe one month out of my teen years and thanks to its inclusion on a random user's random list of games, I've found myself playing it again.

This game is basically a simple concept that so well captures and executes a lot of the simple, foundational concepts of video games. You are but a little shape avoiding bigger shapes, using precise, twitchy movements to avoiding obstacle courses. You get used to these movements and obstacles the more you play and you can naturally feel yourself improve the more you play. I adore it; one of the best ways to twiddle your thumbs that exist.

For two decades I dismissed this game as the "Namco Max Payne ripoff", after all, why would I play a lame copy of Max Payne on PS2 when the original Payne was right there on the family PC in all its tight, sharp glory?

Well I fucking missed out. This game's pretty good! Not a great game but it's a good game.

The shooting is fun in most sections and the setpieces are mostly pretty good, with intuitive level design and ammo/health/armor placements. Honestly some of the best I've seen in a shooter. After the halfway point the game gets pretty tough, too, forcing you to think about enemy placement and actually use them as meat shields as well as which weapon is best.

There's some silly minigames for cinematic purposes which are all really easy, and they're goofy enough to be fun.

The story is extremely simple but ridiculously cheesy. It's going for a noir detective atmosphere, but unlike Payne, it feels like a parody of noir movies at points. The voice acting for some of the villains is so bad it's good, and NPC lines on some levels had me chuckling for a few solid minutes. It's hilarious and completely took me offguard.

The main flaw with this game is just how long it gets. There is a very clear point where you feel like the story is wrapping up, yet it still goes on for a few more chapters, all of which are very stretched out. It's a bummer considering everything before that was pretty nice and concise. And the helicopter level. They really shouldn't have made that.

Overall, it's worth a play. Maybe not worth beating, but definitely worth checking out.

This one has a pretty good story and some interesting, believable characters, occasionally cringe but fun. At its heights it reminded me of some fun teen horror films like The Faculty.

Like Until Dawn the game is let down by some really annoying walking sections. Even with the slightest ‘quick’ walk you move so slowly, in areas that feel too big and empty. The areas are occasionally littered with clues about the story and its history, but these are also easily missable.

The game is designed as a choose your own adventure and it is impressive that you can take different paths and get to a variety of end results. In that way it’s encouraging you to replay to see the other paths, but the developer insists on making that as arduous as possible. There’s no fast forward for parts you’ve already seen, and the autosave means if you make another mistake or miss something, you’re stuck and could be starting over again. Or just watch it on YouTube.

Take out the walking sections or make them much shorter, give the player a bit of respect for their time allowing them to move around the story a bit more, and this could be great. Take the writing a little further too and it could be really special!

The long-awaited indie gem Pizza Tower has finally been released after years of Demos, and I am pleased to say that it not only met my expectations (Which were extremely high) but exceeded them!


Perhaps the biggest pill to swallow for some is the graphical style, and yes, it's not for everyone, but I personally adore it. The rough cartoon-style designs are accompanied by hilarious off-model expressions, with brilliantly done animation to boot. Every inch of this game's art is filled to the brim with personality from its enemies and bosses to its blocks and walls, it's really a treat, and a unique look for sure. To accompany the looks, it's also equipped with a truly excellent soundtrack. Lots of notes taken from the Sonic series, Hideki Naganuma (JSR/Rush) and most prominently from Wario Land 4, utilising samples from these and instruments from the GBA to create something that, while obviously inspired, stands alone as its own brilliantly creative and banging OST. Every level has a unique track, and multiple different remixes for each track sprinkled throughout. Some tracks are more chilled back and relaxed, notably the secret stages, but when this game wants to get your heart pumpin' and your blood rushing, it really holds nothing back! Not a single song, jingle or sound is a miss in this game.


Pizza Tower won't be winning any awards for its story, but it serves its purpose, and the world and characters bring enough personality to the table for this not to be a problem. Pizza face bad and has a giga weapon at the top of the tower so go stop him!!!!


But of course, the most prestigious aspect of this game that truly puts it above any other. The gameplay, and wow, the game design in this game truly just blows me away. The oft-brought-up idea among sonic fans, usually around defending Sonic The Hedgehog 1, is the idea that Speed, is not simply something granted to the player, its the idea of being rewarded with speed and momentum for skilful play that makes such a great experience; and Pizza Tower takes this idea and PERFECTs it. On a good run, you can blast your way through the level, getting every point possible and every secret without taking a second to slow down even once, but that is no easy feat. yet still not an impossible one! Its intensely challenging, but never unfair. The fun of this game is truly felt when replaying the levels, going for that perfect run, as the levels are designed in a way where it really isn't out of your reach to do so, the speed-based movement options just flow so well with the intricately designed levels to all add up to a fantastic time! Conversely, the bosses are fast-paced challenging bouts with creative attack patterns and foes to tackle, giving further justification and use for parry mechanic. And hey, even if this intense reaction-based gameplay isn't for you, you are more than welcome to take a more tactful stroll through each stage, focusing on searching out for those secrets!


In conclusion, this game is really something special. It takes ideas from games such as Wario Land 4, Super Metroid and Sonic The Hedgehog, and manages to make a product better than the sum of its parts. Definitely worth a play, and if you do give it a try, make sure to go for those S and P ranks, it really makes the game that much better.

With Tears Of The Kingdom hype at maximum I knew I had time to squeeze in one Zelda game before it comes out. Coincidentally, hacking your 3DS has never been easier, and I've lent my copy of Link Between Worlds to someone a long time ago and I don't even remember who.

I've long made the argument that I'd rather play a top down Zelda that a full 3D one, and I more or less stand by that, although BOTW has certainly muddied those waters. What you get in Link Between Worlds is a sort of Zelda Literacy Test. Nothing is overly challenging, dungeons can be breezed through quite comfortably. I played the majority of it with my children perched on my shoulders like two shrieking demons and it was fun to see what elements that are so powerfully obvious to me were indistinguishable from magic to them. Oh yeah, that blank bit of wall with two bushes 1 tile apart next to it? Check this shit out kids, boom, look at that, fairy fountain. I'm like a god to them. An almighty games wizard.

My favourite Zelda remains Link's Awakening, with all its weird quirks and strangeness, but LBW is probably the peak top down Zelda, by sheer virtue of being all the best bits from all the top downs smushed together.

Originally developed for Xbox 360, Alan Wake is a classic. Now, with this remaster, everyone has the chance to play this gem on any modern console.

The release of Alan Wake Remaster is essential to preserve a game that was forgotten after the second Xbox console. However, it's important to note that this version has some issues that could have been fixed with a few more months of development.

I played the Nintendo Switch version and faced some performance problems, but they did not ruin my experience. I understand that this is the worst version of the remaster, but people are experiencing some problems on any console.

Regarding the game itself, I must admit that Alan Wake has not aged well. Don't get me wrong, you can still play this game without a problem, but you can tell it's not a modern game. I know it's not fair to expect features developed at other games years after its original release, but at certain points during gameplay, especially when shooting at enemies, it's not that satisfying.

The story is pretty cool. Alan Wake tells the tale of a writer who sees his creations come to life while searching for his missing wife. The mystery vibe is truly amazing.

If you never had the chance to play the original game before, you should definitely give Alan Wake Remaster a try. However, if you played the game when it was originally released on Xbox 360, I don't see why you would need to buy and play this version that has some downsides compared to the original one.

This is only my second Mario RPG, but I can already tell I'll love this whole series, since they are so damn comfy.

Two things already stand out to me: they compensate the simplified battle mechanics with an overworld that is far more involved and interactive than the average of the genre. I really liked using all the overworld abilities to traverse through the dungeons (the final one in particular was a joy), even if I do share the common criticism of sometimes cumbersome controls.

And the other thing is, it's absolutely impossible to have an engaging/"serious" plot in the Mario universe, and I'm so glad they don't even try (Sega, take notes). Instead, they crank the charm up to eleven and double down on the humor, and I end up playing the game with a goofy smile nearly the whole time.

I mostly don't enjoy the occasional mandatory minigame though. It's not the minigame themselves that bother me, it's the fact that some of them have a time limit. That barrel minigame was fairly miserable to me, why a time limit?

The bosses were a highlight to me however, they managed to make every fight feel unique, and that actually is also true for the standard enemies - since they have a huge pool of characters to use from this franchise, the sheer variety of common enemies is staggering, and I thought using stuff like the Dr. Mario viruses and making them all die instantly if you match their colors was incredibly clever.

Then we have the final boss, what the fuck happened there. His HP is gigantic and he's crazy punishing. The weak point isn't exposed through most of the fight, so you spend 80% of the battle killing his "non-vital" body parts over and over, all while they attack with some tricky as fuck attacks. You died? Go back to the 1st phase of the fight, asshole.

Hell, when the 2nd phase begins, the Bros. have 1 (ONE) HP left, and you're up against a boss you don't know, with attacks you've never seen, making it effectively a beginner's trap. The spinning arms thing was the bane of my existence for example.

Bizarre difficulty spike and the occasional padding aside, I really enjoyed this one, and am really looking forward to the other Mario RPGs. I think I have like five games to look forward to, hooray!

Unheard's gameplay is a novel concept which I have never seen utilized before in any form of media. Oftentimes, video games will explore narratives and experiences alike traditional forms of story telling with order, sequence, and crafted story whereby the mystery unravels in a predetermined order.

Unheard takes advantage of the freedom of video game design, allowing players to experience an intricate story with several plot threads, characters, and events occurring simultaneously in front of them. By manipulating time and the position you're listening from, you must solve the mystery behind various crime scenes using nothing but your ears and your brain. This allows you to fastforward, rewind, reset, and skip through the footage accordingly, in order to piece together the story.

Although there are only five cases, with an additional free DLC case (which is fantastic), there is still a great value for money here. Each crime scene increases in difficulty and scale as you progress through the game, offering challenging puzzles that demand careful deductions and active listening. I found myself several times taking notes on pen and paper so I was able to attach the particular voices to their appropriate names and create timelines that allowed me to solve each of the crime scenes. This was incredibly rewarding, I've played plenty of difficult puzzle games before, but none have required me to write things down and evaluate and compare my findings. This is the closest I've felt to what we think detectives do on a daily basis in fiction, and it was truly an unforgettable game.

The Final Script crime scene which is a free DLC case that you can install, is by far my favourite, taking several hours for me to solve. As you'd expect from a game designed around listening, you can expect solid vocal performances throughout. However, I do have criticisms with the general overarching story. Although the narrative of each of the individual cases is fantastic, I personally found a lot of the added context between the cases that attempted to connect them and explain how this was happening was unnecessary. I sincerely hope that NEXT Studios are working on a sequel, with more crime scenes, because this game was a delight from start to finish.