Flameyboy928
477 Reviews liked by Flameyboy928
Starfield
2023
I think the best way to sum up Bethesda's effort with Starfield (other than just calling it “Fallout 4 in space”, which it is, but that's far from original at this point and I need to ramble) is to just look at the Red Mile quest.
In a space bar that's too dim yet hurts your eyes no matter where you look, a woman named Mei promises you certain death in “The Red Mile”; some challenge you won't remotely begin to fear because even at a measly level 12, you're slaughtering anything stupid enough to fight you. You follow her to the hype platform (which looks like the galaxy's cheapest VIP section), each step taking you closer to the annoying, looping music's source. It gets louder and louder and when Mei finally speaks into the microphone, she's almost fully drowned out by the shitty tune.
The gathering to see you off on this edge of your seat adventure is... four NPCs. When Mei is done riling up this “crowd” - who could fit in a Mini Cooper - three of them clap soundlessly. You can't even bet on yourself because that's just obviously free money. One patron goes to longingly gaze out the window, but it only reflects the room's interior. The reflection is missing almost all of the assets that should be there, including you and the would-be gazer himself. He doesn't seem to care.
The Red Mile itself is infested with the worst bulletsponge enemies you've seen yet and they'll concuss you with insta-explosion, toxic shit-bombs. They'll give a tease of experience per ammo-wasting kill. And you can get stunned really easily now! That was a smart choice for combat flow.
When I completed the “impossible” task of flipping a switch then running away from this horrid mess, Mei met with me in the world of blistering snow and no atmosphere to congratulate me while she wore no spacesuit. None of this surprises me, but people thinking highly of this absolutely blows my mind. The “I built a computer/bought a Series X for Starfield!” crowd almost disgusts me. Maybe Todd Howard is right, though, and all of this is my fault for not having a 4090 because I'm a dirt-coated peasant.
Bethesda knows how to make a video game, and you know this because they've made that same video game like four times now, and yet people still seem to clamor for more of the stale, sloppy mess. If this was your first ever Bethesda game, I could see someone enjoying this played out, buggy ride. I have friends who fall into this category, they'll get many hours out of Starfield. If you're familiar with Bethesda's work, though, you may say Starfield feels like one step forward and several steps back.
Is Starfield a bad game? Kind of, but I've played much worse. I wish I hadn't ever played Fallout 4 and had played this instead, but I can't go back and undo the hours which lead to the feeling of repetition. It is, beyond a doubt, comically sterile. “Space” doesn't really feel like space when it's just broken up into rooms, same as the Capital Wasteland or Skyrim. Whiterun was just a room and so is Mars, it's just a slightly nicer looking one. The trade for this visual upgrade is traveling anywhere is a bigger pain than ever before. “Space” is just a series of loading screens and animations you'll get sick of seeing immediately (thank god for mods).
The fact that you can see out of your ship's window is impressive to me, considering what they're working with. Just like I was “impressed” by Fallout 4 having real-time elevators (no longer in Starfield, and actually a good call as this saves you time). Modders, of course, swooped in immediately to fix stuff Bethesda should have already dealt with. How low is the bar for the multi-billion dollar company? The Ryujin "stealth" missions feel a college student's experiment, not "one of the most important RPGs ever made." (Xbox made this claim, not me.)
The best thing about Starfield is the return of the Adoring Fan. I cannot believe I just said that, but he rules and I'll stand by that forever. He has gifted me a plushie and a coffee mug and they're perfect. His voice actor still has it 100% down, each line brings me back to the fever-dream theater of Oblivion. If I can't have any innovation, I may as well at least get nostalgia. “My respect for you grows by the kilogram!” – This game's saving grace.
I do not recommend Starfield.
In a space bar that's too dim yet hurts your eyes no matter where you look, a woman named Mei promises you certain death in “The Red Mile”; some challenge you won't remotely begin to fear because even at a measly level 12, you're slaughtering anything stupid enough to fight you. You follow her to the hype platform (which looks like the galaxy's cheapest VIP section), each step taking you closer to the annoying, looping music's source. It gets louder and louder and when Mei finally speaks into the microphone, she's almost fully drowned out by the shitty tune.
The gathering to see you off on this edge of your seat adventure is... four NPCs. When Mei is done riling up this “crowd” - who could fit in a Mini Cooper - three of them clap soundlessly. You can't even bet on yourself because that's just obviously free money. One patron goes to longingly gaze out the window, but it only reflects the room's interior. The reflection is missing almost all of the assets that should be there, including you and the would-be gazer himself. He doesn't seem to care.
The Red Mile itself is infested with the worst bulletsponge enemies you've seen yet and they'll concuss you with insta-explosion, toxic shit-bombs. They'll give a tease of experience per ammo-wasting kill. And you can get stunned really easily now! That was a smart choice for combat flow.
When I completed the “impossible” task of flipping a switch then running away from this horrid mess, Mei met with me in the world of blistering snow and no atmosphere to congratulate me while she wore no spacesuit. None of this surprises me, but people thinking highly of this absolutely blows my mind. The “I built a computer/bought a Series X for Starfield!” crowd almost disgusts me. Maybe Todd Howard is right, though, and all of this is my fault for not having a 4090 because I'm a dirt-coated peasant.
Bethesda knows how to make a video game, and you know this because they've made that same video game like four times now, and yet people still seem to clamor for more of the stale, sloppy mess. If this was your first ever Bethesda game, I could see someone enjoying this played out, buggy ride. I have friends who fall into this category, they'll get many hours out of Starfield. If you're familiar with Bethesda's work, though, you may say Starfield feels like one step forward and several steps back.
Is Starfield a bad game? Kind of, but I've played much worse. I wish I hadn't ever played Fallout 4 and had played this instead, but I can't go back and undo the hours which lead to the feeling of repetition. It is, beyond a doubt, comically sterile. “Space” doesn't really feel like space when it's just broken up into rooms, same as the Capital Wasteland or Skyrim. Whiterun was just a room and so is Mars, it's just a slightly nicer looking one. The trade for this visual upgrade is traveling anywhere is a bigger pain than ever before. “Space” is just a series of loading screens and animations you'll get sick of seeing immediately (thank god for mods).
The fact that you can see out of your ship's window is impressive to me, considering what they're working with. Just like I was “impressed” by Fallout 4 having real-time elevators (no longer in Starfield, and actually a good call as this saves you time). Modders, of course, swooped in immediately to fix stuff Bethesda should have already dealt with. How low is the bar for the multi-billion dollar company? The Ryujin "stealth" missions feel a college student's experiment, not "one of the most important RPGs ever made." (Xbox made this claim, not me.)
The best thing about Starfield is the return of the Adoring Fan. I cannot believe I just said that, but he rules and I'll stand by that forever. He has gifted me a plushie and a coffee mug and they're perfect. His voice actor still has it 100% down, each line brings me back to the fever-dream theater of Oblivion. If I can't have any innovation, I may as well at least get nostalgia. “My respect for you grows by the kilogram!” – This game's saving grace.
I do not recommend Starfield.
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Donkey Kong
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when i first started using this site i saw that this game had a 3.0 and was sincerely offended because to me this game's legacy is so great that it was incomprehensible that a game with such a giant footprint would be treated the same as a generic budget title from the 2000s, but looking back that was a really immature reaction.
donkey kong is one of the most important games to ever be made. the influence of this game would be felt for years to come and can still be felt today. but to a modern eye, it definitely leaves a lot to be desired; it is sluggish as hell, the physics are awkward and opaque (one of the first criticisms youll read for this game will probably be how inconsistent and gross the fall damage feels, which thankfully would not be implemented in most later platforming games), and the iconic first stage is full of what amounts to random chance with whether a barrel will fall or not. the game can still be fun and engaging today if you appreciate the context of its development and the time it was made in, but to say it hasn't aged gracefully is undoubtedly an understatement.
with all that said, i still don't know if i can rate donkey kong. this game has such a fond place in my heart, from playing the NES classics version on gameboy advance as a small child, to playing on my uncle's arcade cabinet when i would visit him. i even have a soft spot for the awful atari 2600 port, which i played nigh on constantly when i got an atari as a young gaming enthusiast. i can't blame anyone who can't get into this game or can only appreciate it as a relic of gaming history, but for me, there's really something special about it
donkey kong is one of the most important games to ever be made. the influence of this game would be felt for years to come and can still be felt today. but to a modern eye, it definitely leaves a lot to be desired; it is sluggish as hell, the physics are awkward and opaque (one of the first criticisms youll read for this game will probably be how inconsistent and gross the fall damage feels, which thankfully would not be implemented in most later platforming games), and the iconic first stage is full of what amounts to random chance with whether a barrel will fall or not. the game can still be fun and engaging today if you appreciate the context of its development and the time it was made in, but to say it hasn't aged gracefully is undoubtedly an understatement.
with all that said, i still don't know if i can rate donkey kong. this game has such a fond place in my heart, from playing the NES classics version on gameboy advance as a small child, to playing on my uncle's arcade cabinet when i would visit him. i even have a soft spot for the awful atari 2600 port, which i played nigh on constantly when i got an atari as a young gaming enthusiast. i can't blame anyone who can't get into this game or can only appreciate it as a relic of gaming history, but for me, there's really something special about it