Higloman
2022
Genre: Combat Heavy Cinematic Action Adventure
Released: November 9th, 2022
Platform: PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5
Developer: Santa Monica Studio
Publisher: Sony
Language: English, but there are extensive supported languages. See HERE for complete list.
Length: 25+ hours. I rolled credits at the 70 hour mark, and am desperate to go back and play more optional content.
Difficulty: Players choice, this game can be as easy or as difficult as you want. I played on Give Me God of War and found the game to be extremely punishing but fair.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: Absolutely, God of War (2018) is required. However the other God of War games are not needed. I have never played them, and I had a great time.
Accessibility Options: Industry leading, see HERE for a breakdown. Can I Play That calls it a “A masterclass in accessibility”.
How Did You Play It: On a PS5 set to performance mode.
Is It Good: It’s a masterpiece
Ragnarök is one of the best games I have ever played. It is a towering achievement for the team at Santa Monica Studio’s, and represents literally hundreds of best-in-class artists, designers, engineers, programmers, directors, actors, writers, musicians, and a plethora of other fields all working at the bleeding edge of their mediums to produce a masterclass in entertainment.
It’s also kinda bland.
And that’s okay! Ragnarök is 2018’s God of War, but more. More enemies, locations, characters, side quests, gear. And it really works. God of War 2018 was a revolution, a bold and risky way to change nearly everything that the series has been since 2005. I loved it, but I had some complaints: mainly I thought the side quests were bland, the enemies repetitive, and parts of the game felt rushed and unpolished.
Ragnarök is so sharp, so polished, and so laser focused on pushing every idea the first game had to its best self that it’s hard to critique it. It’s not a perfect game, but it is a perfect sequel. Unlike other sequels which can feel stuffed and bloated with unneeded features or mechanics, everything in Ragnarök is intelligently expanded and flushed out to be the best version of itself.
There are more side quests, but each side quest fleshes out the characters and world. They don’t feel like check points, they feel like opportunities to explore the incredible combat and interesting people inside the world. I often did side quests mainly to hear what my companions would say, that’s how invested I felt inside the narrative. Plus I wanted to actually PLAY more, the combat system is tuned to perfection. It’s meaty, tactical and fun, deftly balancing challenge are frustration.
Ragnarök is an incredibly hard game, but I never once felt it was unfair. The checkpoints or forgiving, you get all your health back on death, enemy attacks are clear to read, it’s visual flashy yet always easy to understand what it happening. The sceptical is incredible, but you always feel in control (barring brief story moments, which I feel are rare enough to be earned). This is the most fun I’ve had in a AAA big budget game release. I loved it.
Ragnarök also trusts you to play in the way you want to? Too hard? Turn down the difficulty and turn on midpoint boss checkpoints. The accessibility options are astounding, it’s hard to imagine a person who could not play this game. Whether you have mobility, visual, physical impairments (or are just new to video games) you can play and enjoy this game at the pace and in the way you want to. It’s abundantly clear the studio had accessibility at the forefront of development, and I am incredibly impressed by the abundance of options. Games are only better when more people can play them. Kudos to the team for making that dream a reality.
Ragnarök brings nearly nothing new to the table, but it is so confident and focused that does not matter. It really feels like the culmination of the last 10 years of AAA game design. Open world, RPG elements, set piece battles, epic stories, third person over the shoulder camera, and crafting systems galore. But instead of feeling suffocating and like a CEO mandate list of feature (it’s what the kids want, I dunno), Ragnarök’s mechanical systems are an ecosystem that feed and strengthen each other. There is nothing here that I have not seen before, but good food is good food. And mechanically, you will eat well.
The story is bland too.
I feel a great deal of it is disappointing, almost a let-down. It’s basic, not particularly complex, and easy to see what is going to happen. It does nothing interesting, at least to me.
But who cares? I love these characters, and would pay money to watch them eat dinner together. If fact they sometimes do eat dinner together in the game, and it’s wonderful. The plot does not matter. When the writing needs to pull its weight, it easily supports the entire game. The emotional moments are beautiful and poignant, the camera work is impeccable, the performances are rifting. It is so clear everyone is giving 1000%, and I just want more. I loved spending time with Kratoms, Atreus, Brock, Sindri, Freya, and Odin (especially Odin).
Sometimes I did sometimes feel like the side quest dialogue felt as though the B-tier team was writing it, veering into a quippy snarky more modern banter style I felt did not fit with the rest of the game, but it’s a small complaint and rarely bothered me. Characters talk A LOT, and sometimes they are so eager to blurt out their dialogue they’ll spoil puzzles or feel out of character.
But I still stopped every time someone said something, not wanting to miss a single word.
And while the level design is pretty simple (and often empty feeling), the art and visuals are awe inspiring. Yes, it’s technically incredible and runs like a dream, but the art direction will make this game stand the test of time. The environments are just littered with details, from paintings, plants, jewelry, and architecture. And it doesn’t just look pretty, it all tells a story. I would often stop just to stare at things. The number of assets in this game boggle the mind.
The enemy variety is exemplary, each one is fun to fight and interesting to look at. There are so many mini bosses and large scale encounters it makes other games look small. It is hard to fathom how much quality is stuffed into this video game.
Ragnarök is filled with truly awesome moments, I laughed, cried, shouted in surprise, wringed my hands in dismay and pumped my fists with joy. Any niggling issue I have is overshadowed by the sheer quality of what is presented.
Ragnarök is a better game than 2018 God of War, but only because of the phenomenal foundation laid down by the first game. And comparison is not important anyway, because you MUST play the first one before this one. You will not have a good time otherwise.
I don’t really have anything else to say. This is the best example of what a big budget, $90 should be game should be. There are no micro transactions, the mechanics make sense and strengthen the game instead of bloating it, its technologically incredible, and fabulously entertaining. It is a sequel that deserves to exist.
Ragnarök will not be remembered on the same level as the ground breaking first game (both 2018 or 2005).
But it will be remembered for being a damn fine video game.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
Released: November 9th, 2022
Platform: PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5
Developer: Santa Monica Studio
Publisher: Sony
Language: English, but there are extensive supported languages. See HERE for complete list.
Length: 25+ hours. I rolled credits at the 70 hour mark, and am desperate to go back and play more optional content.
Difficulty: Players choice, this game can be as easy or as difficult as you want. I played on Give Me God of War and found the game to be extremely punishing but fair.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: Absolutely, God of War (2018) is required. However the other God of War games are not needed. I have never played them, and I had a great time.
Accessibility Options: Industry leading, see HERE for a breakdown. Can I Play That calls it a “A masterclass in accessibility”.
How Did You Play It: On a PS5 set to performance mode.
Is It Good: It’s a masterpiece
Ragnarök is one of the best games I have ever played. It is a towering achievement for the team at Santa Monica Studio’s, and represents literally hundreds of best-in-class artists, designers, engineers, programmers, directors, actors, writers, musicians, and a plethora of other fields all working at the bleeding edge of their mediums to produce a masterclass in entertainment.
It’s also kinda bland.
And that’s okay! Ragnarök is 2018’s God of War, but more. More enemies, locations, characters, side quests, gear. And it really works. God of War 2018 was a revolution, a bold and risky way to change nearly everything that the series has been since 2005. I loved it, but I had some complaints: mainly I thought the side quests were bland, the enemies repetitive, and parts of the game felt rushed and unpolished.
Ragnarök is so sharp, so polished, and so laser focused on pushing every idea the first game had to its best self that it’s hard to critique it. It’s not a perfect game, but it is a perfect sequel. Unlike other sequels which can feel stuffed and bloated with unneeded features or mechanics, everything in Ragnarök is intelligently expanded and flushed out to be the best version of itself.
There are more side quests, but each side quest fleshes out the characters and world. They don’t feel like check points, they feel like opportunities to explore the incredible combat and interesting people inside the world. I often did side quests mainly to hear what my companions would say, that’s how invested I felt inside the narrative. Plus I wanted to actually PLAY more, the combat system is tuned to perfection. It’s meaty, tactical and fun, deftly balancing challenge are frustration.
Ragnarök is an incredibly hard game, but I never once felt it was unfair. The checkpoints or forgiving, you get all your health back on death, enemy attacks are clear to read, it’s visual flashy yet always easy to understand what it happening. The sceptical is incredible, but you always feel in control (barring brief story moments, which I feel are rare enough to be earned). This is the most fun I’ve had in a AAA big budget game release. I loved it.
Ragnarök also trusts you to play in the way you want to? Too hard? Turn down the difficulty and turn on midpoint boss checkpoints. The accessibility options are astounding, it’s hard to imagine a person who could not play this game. Whether you have mobility, visual, physical impairments (or are just new to video games) you can play and enjoy this game at the pace and in the way you want to. It’s abundantly clear the studio had accessibility at the forefront of development, and I am incredibly impressed by the abundance of options. Games are only better when more people can play them. Kudos to the team for making that dream a reality.
Ragnarök brings nearly nothing new to the table, but it is so confident and focused that does not matter. It really feels like the culmination of the last 10 years of AAA game design. Open world, RPG elements, set piece battles, epic stories, third person over the shoulder camera, and crafting systems galore. But instead of feeling suffocating and like a CEO mandate list of feature (it’s what the kids want, I dunno), Ragnarök’s mechanical systems are an ecosystem that feed and strengthen each other. There is nothing here that I have not seen before, but good food is good food. And mechanically, you will eat well.
The story is bland too.
I feel a great deal of it is disappointing, almost a let-down. It’s basic, not particularly complex, and easy to see what is going to happen. It does nothing interesting, at least to me.
But who cares? I love these characters, and would pay money to watch them eat dinner together. If fact they sometimes do eat dinner together in the game, and it’s wonderful. The plot does not matter. When the writing needs to pull its weight, it easily supports the entire game. The emotional moments are beautiful and poignant, the camera work is impeccable, the performances are rifting. It is so clear everyone is giving 1000%, and I just want more. I loved spending time with Kratoms, Atreus, Brock, Sindri, Freya, and Odin (especially Odin).
Sometimes I did sometimes feel like the side quest dialogue felt as though the B-tier team was writing it, veering into a quippy snarky more modern banter style I felt did not fit with the rest of the game, but it’s a small complaint and rarely bothered me. Characters talk A LOT, and sometimes they are so eager to blurt out their dialogue they’ll spoil puzzles or feel out of character.
But I still stopped every time someone said something, not wanting to miss a single word.
And while the level design is pretty simple (and often empty feeling), the art and visuals are awe inspiring. Yes, it’s technically incredible and runs like a dream, but the art direction will make this game stand the test of time. The environments are just littered with details, from paintings, plants, jewelry, and architecture. And it doesn’t just look pretty, it all tells a story. I would often stop just to stare at things. The number of assets in this game boggle the mind.
The enemy variety is exemplary, each one is fun to fight and interesting to look at. There are so many mini bosses and large scale encounters it makes other games look small. It is hard to fathom how much quality is stuffed into this video game.
Ragnarök is filled with truly awesome moments, I laughed, cried, shouted in surprise, wringed my hands in dismay and pumped my fists with joy. Any niggling issue I have is overshadowed by the sheer quality of what is presented.
Ragnarök is a better game than 2018 God of War, but only because of the phenomenal foundation laid down by the first game. And comparison is not important anyway, because you MUST play the first one before this one. You will not have a good time otherwise.
I don’t really have anything else to say. This is the best example of what a big budget, $90 should be game should be. There are no micro transactions, the mechanics make sense and strengthen the game instead of bloating it, its technologically incredible, and fabulously entertaining. It is a sequel that deserves to exist.
Ragnarök will not be remembered on the same level as the ground breaking first game (both 2018 or 2005).
But it will be remembered for being a damn fine video game.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
2021
Genre: Narrative Experience
Released: April 1st, 2021
Platforms: PC, MacOS, Android, iOS
Developer: GoodbyeWorld Games
Publisher: Skybound Games
Language: English Audio, but but text is available for French, German, Spanish (Spain), Japanese, Korean, and Simplified/Traditional Chinese.
Length: 1.5-2 hours. I rolled credits under 2 hours. About 4 hours for a completionist run.
Difficulty: None, this is a narrative expereince.
Accessibility Options: Good, see HERE for a breakdown by Family Gaming Database.
How Did You Play It: On my iPad via my Netflix subscription.
Is It Good: It’s messy and not perfect, but it can be a moving experience for many. For those looking for something different.
I found myself not enjoying the first… 75% of Before Your Eyes. The story felt more like fan fiction than professional writing, and I only kept going because the game is so short I figured I may as well finish.
The game came with my Netflix subscription, it worked on my iPad, and I had just finished God of War and was looking for a pallet cleanser, I had nothing planned that Saturday morning, and the game is a little over an hour long. Plus it’s central mechanic intrigued me.
See, Before Your Eyes is played by blinking. Like, your eyes. Your real life eyes. You point the webcam at your face, and… blink. Often time passes after you blink, it could be five seconds or five years, or you make menu selections by pointing at an object and blinking.
It’s a cool idea, but honestly, I did not get why on earth you would do something like this for most of the game. Firstly, I had technical issues, which I think was due to the game being on my iPad. Having to touch the screen sometimes I risked moving the camera, and I had to be very careful to try and keep my iPad as still as possible. I imagine this would not be as great an issue on a PC, but on my iPad I did have a few missed blinks or times the game thought I blinked but I did not.
Secondly it just seemed silly, and I wished I could just push a button instead. The mechanic seemed more annoying than anything, and an unnecessary barrier between me and making the game do what I wanted. There is as option to play without blinking, and I often considered turning the blinking off.
I am so glad I didn’t.
Because near the end I wanted to linger in the moments the story was presenting me, the plot clicking together that was much more emotional than I had anticipated. But I had to blink, and so these moments of pain, laughter, or joy must pass you by, right before your eyes.
I cried, I laughed, and I got it. I understood why the developers choose to tell this story in this way.
I don’t think they pulled it off flawlessly, and often to me it felt more like a gimmick. But when it matters, it blends interaction and story telling in a unique and powerful way that affected me and stayed with me long after the credits rolled.
Before Your Eyes is a remarkable piece of interactive fiction. There is little reason to play it again, but it if any it sounds interesting to you I suggest you try it.
It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
Wink
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
Released: April 1st, 2021
Platforms: PC, MacOS, Android, iOS
Developer: GoodbyeWorld Games
Publisher: Skybound Games
Language: English Audio, but but text is available for French, German, Spanish (Spain), Japanese, Korean, and Simplified/Traditional Chinese.
Length: 1.5-2 hours. I rolled credits under 2 hours. About 4 hours for a completionist run.
Difficulty: None, this is a narrative expereince.
Accessibility Options: Good, see HERE for a breakdown by Family Gaming Database.
How Did You Play It: On my iPad via my Netflix subscription.
Is It Good: It’s messy and not perfect, but it can be a moving experience for many. For those looking for something different.
I found myself not enjoying the first… 75% of Before Your Eyes. The story felt more like fan fiction than professional writing, and I only kept going because the game is so short I figured I may as well finish.
The game came with my Netflix subscription, it worked on my iPad, and I had just finished God of War and was looking for a pallet cleanser, I had nothing planned that Saturday morning, and the game is a little over an hour long. Plus it’s central mechanic intrigued me.
See, Before Your Eyes is played by blinking. Like, your eyes. Your real life eyes. You point the webcam at your face, and… blink. Often time passes after you blink, it could be five seconds or five years, or you make menu selections by pointing at an object and blinking.
It’s a cool idea, but honestly, I did not get why on earth you would do something like this for most of the game. Firstly, I had technical issues, which I think was due to the game being on my iPad. Having to touch the screen sometimes I risked moving the camera, and I had to be very careful to try and keep my iPad as still as possible. I imagine this would not be as great an issue on a PC, but on my iPad I did have a few missed blinks or times the game thought I blinked but I did not.
Secondly it just seemed silly, and I wished I could just push a button instead. The mechanic seemed more annoying than anything, and an unnecessary barrier between me and making the game do what I wanted. There is as option to play without blinking, and I often considered turning the blinking off.
I am so glad I didn’t.
Because near the end I wanted to linger in the moments the story was presenting me, the plot clicking together that was much more emotional than I had anticipated. But I had to blink, and so these moments of pain, laughter, or joy must pass you by, right before your eyes.
I cried, I laughed, and I got it. I understood why the developers choose to tell this story in this way.
I don’t think they pulled it off flawlessly, and often to me it felt more like a gimmick. But when it matters, it blends interaction and story telling in a unique and powerful way that affected me and stayed with me long after the credits rolled.
Before Your Eyes is a remarkable piece of interactive fiction. There is little reason to play it again, but it if any it sounds interesting to you I suggest you try it.
It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
Wink
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
1996
Genre: Puzzle Action Adventure
Released: July 21, 1996
Platform: Gameboy, 3DS
Developer: Pax Softnica
Publisher: Nintendo
Language: English, but available in Japanese with first party translations. There are also a few fan translation, such as Spanish.
Length: 8-10, but can be 15+ for completeness. I rolled credits after 12 hours, and may go back for a few extras.
Difficulty: Medium, most puzzles are fair and there is an item that let’s you skip a level if you are really stuck (I never ended up needing it). However, the lost boss is action heavy and tedious.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: No
Accessibility Options: None. Most of the game does not require fast reflexes, however bosses do require fast inputs. You need complete sight to play this game. There is no hint system. You may need a co-player to finish this game during the boss fights and a few puzzles, however a majority of the game can be played with limited mobility.
How Did You Play It: On an analogue pocket.
Is It Good: Yeah, I thought so. It’s charming and worth a look at.
Mole Mania is the first Game Boy game I’ve finished this year. My Game Boy is used nearly every day, for 15 minutes just to refresh my mind. As such Mole Mania is a perfect game boy game for what I am looking for. It’s simple to play, easy to put down, and designed for small play sessions. It has a charming art style, forgettable but toe tapping tunes, and enough challenge to require thought without being frustrating.
You play as a Mole trying to save his children from an evil famer. To succeed, our hero must smash a mettle ball into a concrete block. No, it doesn’t make much sense, but it makes for a fun and compelling gameplay loop.
Each level starts with the ball on one end of the stage, and you are challenged to find a way to transport the ball by rolling it around obstacles, hazards, and enemies. Mole Mania is more a puzzle game than an action game, as the game starts laying rules and twists to make the task engaging and different throughout the entire game. There are boss battles, but they rely more on planning than reflexes.
The unique mechanic the ability to dig underground, digging a maze of tunnels beneath the stage that you can use to bypass hazards. But each new place you pop out, you create a hole and thus an opportunity for the ball to fall into the earth and restarting the stage. Digging, where to dig, where to exit, and where to throw the ball all blend into an attractive loop that I enjoyed playing every day.
However, the game never grows into anything else. The ball becomes harder and harder to get to the other end, but ultimately you are performing the same task over and over again. I had a lot of fun with each level, but by the final world I was getting a little restless and ready to move on.
Being one of the last games released on the Game Boy, the graphics are clean with a strong art style, and it’s clear Nintendo was hopping to turn the titular mole into a longer lasting series. There are animated shorts at the end of each level, the bosses are well designed with great animation flair. There are secrets and bonus levels strewn about, time trials, and other secrets for those who are interested.
I had a few issues with controls. They are excellent and specific for the puzzle portions, but for the few times the game asks for quick inputs during the boss battles I felt I was fighting against them and resulted in some frustrating deaths. This is mitigated by the fact dying has no real effect. However, the vast majority of the game the controls are great for the puzzle stages.
My only real complaint is the final boss, which is part of a boss rush compilation where you fight every boss in a row. Given that combat is the worst aspect of the game, I found this overly punishing and more annoying then difficult. The final boss is unique, and thus you will die a few times before learning his patterns. It feels overly punishing to have to go through old bosses again for another chance, especially as the rest of the game is not about fighting at all.
Mole Mania is has no mean tricks, each stage takes up the Gameboy screen and the goal is always clear: move the ball. There is a great deal of delight in the trial and error required as you make plans, test them, and tweak them as you progress bit by bit.
Mole Mania is a confident game, with a great art style, short bite sized puzzles, charming characters, and fun music. I loved many of the puzzles, and the middle stages contain some clever twists and challenges. If you are looking for an often-overlooked gem, Mole Mania is an easy recommendation.
I enjoyed mulling over potential solutions throughout the day, and often found what was difficult the day before was breezed through after a good sleep. It is not a perfect game, or even an exceptional game.
But it is a perfect game boy game.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
Released: July 21, 1996
Platform: Gameboy, 3DS
Developer: Pax Softnica
Publisher: Nintendo
Language: English, but available in Japanese with first party translations. There are also a few fan translation, such as Spanish.
Length: 8-10, but can be 15+ for completeness. I rolled credits after 12 hours, and may go back for a few extras.
Difficulty: Medium, most puzzles are fair and there is an item that let’s you skip a level if you are really stuck (I never ended up needing it). However, the lost boss is action heavy and tedious.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: No
Accessibility Options: None. Most of the game does not require fast reflexes, however bosses do require fast inputs. You need complete sight to play this game. There is no hint system. You may need a co-player to finish this game during the boss fights and a few puzzles, however a majority of the game can be played with limited mobility.
How Did You Play It: On an analogue pocket.
Is It Good: Yeah, I thought so. It’s charming and worth a look at.
Mole Mania is the first Game Boy game I’ve finished this year. My Game Boy is used nearly every day, for 15 minutes just to refresh my mind. As such Mole Mania is a perfect game boy game for what I am looking for. It’s simple to play, easy to put down, and designed for small play sessions. It has a charming art style, forgettable but toe tapping tunes, and enough challenge to require thought without being frustrating.
You play as a Mole trying to save his children from an evil famer. To succeed, our hero must smash a mettle ball into a concrete block. No, it doesn’t make much sense, but it makes for a fun and compelling gameplay loop.
Each level starts with the ball on one end of the stage, and you are challenged to find a way to transport the ball by rolling it around obstacles, hazards, and enemies. Mole Mania is more a puzzle game than an action game, as the game starts laying rules and twists to make the task engaging and different throughout the entire game. There are boss battles, but they rely more on planning than reflexes.
The unique mechanic the ability to dig underground, digging a maze of tunnels beneath the stage that you can use to bypass hazards. But each new place you pop out, you create a hole and thus an opportunity for the ball to fall into the earth and restarting the stage. Digging, where to dig, where to exit, and where to throw the ball all blend into an attractive loop that I enjoyed playing every day.
However, the game never grows into anything else. The ball becomes harder and harder to get to the other end, but ultimately you are performing the same task over and over again. I had a lot of fun with each level, but by the final world I was getting a little restless and ready to move on.
Being one of the last games released on the Game Boy, the graphics are clean with a strong art style, and it’s clear Nintendo was hopping to turn the titular mole into a longer lasting series. There are animated shorts at the end of each level, the bosses are well designed with great animation flair. There are secrets and bonus levels strewn about, time trials, and other secrets for those who are interested.
I had a few issues with controls. They are excellent and specific for the puzzle portions, but for the few times the game asks for quick inputs during the boss battles I felt I was fighting against them and resulted in some frustrating deaths. This is mitigated by the fact dying has no real effect. However, the vast majority of the game the controls are great for the puzzle stages.
My only real complaint is the final boss, which is part of a boss rush compilation where you fight every boss in a row. Given that combat is the worst aspect of the game, I found this overly punishing and more annoying then difficult. The final boss is unique, and thus you will die a few times before learning his patterns. It feels overly punishing to have to go through old bosses again for another chance, especially as the rest of the game is not about fighting at all.
Mole Mania is has no mean tricks, each stage takes up the Gameboy screen and the goal is always clear: move the ball. There is a great deal of delight in the trial and error required as you make plans, test them, and tweak them as you progress bit by bit.
Mole Mania is a confident game, with a great art style, short bite sized puzzles, charming characters, and fun music. I loved many of the puzzles, and the middle stages contain some clever twists and challenges. If you are looking for an often-overlooked gem, Mole Mania is an easy recommendation.
I enjoyed mulling over potential solutions throughout the day, and often found what was difficult the day before was breezed through after a good sleep. It is not a perfect game, or even an exceptional game.
But it is a perfect game boy game.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
Genre: Timing Based Platformer, with collecting elements
Released: October 31, 1998
Platform: PlayStation 1 (original), PlayStation 2 (via backwards compatibility), PlayStation 3 (via backwards compatibility and PSN). Can also be played PS4, Ps5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X and S, and Switch via the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy remake (although it is a different game in very small ways).
Developer: Naughty Dog
Publisher: Sony
Language: English, but available in French, German, Italian, Japanese, and Spanish via first party translations.
Length: About 6 hours, which can easily double if you are going for a completionist run. I rolled credits at 6, and have no intention of going back.
Difficulty: Easy-Medium, and most will find the game too easy compared to the first two games. I had little difficulty finishing this, and never felt challenged.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: No, but it’s not the best Crash Game. The story is so simple you don’t need to play the others, but I can’t really see why someone would pick this first.
Accessibility Options: None. Subtitles, but little else. You need complete sight to play this game, and fast reflex time with long stretches of play with no break. Button mashing and rapid button combinations are not required, however you will be unable to access much of the optional content. There did not appear to be any necessary audio cues. You may be able to play with game speed via an emulator, but you may need a co-player to complete this game.
How Did You Play It: On original hardware with a PlayStation One.
Is It Good: It’s fine. Worth your time if you’ve played the other ones, but nothing really special.
Crash Bandicoot seems embarrassed of itself.
Warped has great ambitions, every few levels we are whisked away to motorcycle races, 3d plane shooting, a rail shooter, sea-doo courses, and much more. It is clear this was intended to be the biggest, craziest Crash adventure yet. This isn’t just Crash Bandicoot 3.
It’s CRASH BANIDCOOT WARPED!!!!!
-and it’s fine.
I liked it more than Crash 1, and less than Crash 2. All three are worth playing, but only the sequel Cortex Strikes Back fall within the coveted “must play” category.
Yet for all it’s obvious budget, lavish production values, and breathless pacing it feel self-conscious. Like the game so fears being called “just a platformer” that it never feels like it knows what it wants to be.
Crash 3’s new gameplay mechanics are fun distractions, however they mostly amount to simple minigames with very little depth to them. Which is acceptable for an exciting one off, but many of these mechanics repeat in ways I began to find more dull and repetitive. I often found myself wishing to just go back to the platforming.
Crash’s PlayStation One days are excellent platformers, emphasizing great timing and small course corrections. And the series is historically difficult and was not afraid to let you die. This was an obvious goal from the start, as Crash’s elaborate death animations as he gets fried, burnt, and squashed in cartoonish ways teases the player. Death is just a part of playing. The games were never brutal or unfairly punishing.
But Warped is too easy, I had 45 lives when I finished the game, and never saw the game over screen. And I don’t think it’s because I’m experienced, because contrary to popular belief I am not very good at video games. The lack of challenge makes a short game feel even shorter, and worse that my success often felt unearned.
Crash both feels overstuffed yet unfulfilled. Yes, there are more diverse levels, but you blow threw them so quickly. There are more powers, but many actively harm the interest of the game. The tornado spin makes jumping even easier while the bazooka allows you to shoot anything from a safe distant, defeating a great deal of the point. All this added utility just gives us more options for boredom. I actively stopped using tools because they made the game worse, which is never a good feeling. Crash has a great tool kit, his slides and ducks can be chained together for a great feeling of momentum. But the game gets easier and easier the further you get, which is a pretty unsatisfying difficulty curve.
Perhaps all of the good stuff is in the collectibles and Time Trial modes, which are more emphasised then ever. Time Trials. I don’t know, as I was not interested in playing any more.
Crash 3 is a fine game, even an excellent one in many aspects. The animation is impeccable, the voice acting is great fun, and many of the levels are imaginative. I just wished it was more focused.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
Released: October 31, 1998
Platform: PlayStation 1 (original), PlayStation 2 (via backwards compatibility), PlayStation 3 (via backwards compatibility and PSN). Can also be played PS4, Ps5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X and S, and Switch via the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy remake (although it is a different game in very small ways).
Developer: Naughty Dog
Publisher: Sony
Language: English, but available in French, German, Italian, Japanese, and Spanish via first party translations.
Length: About 6 hours, which can easily double if you are going for a completionist run. I rolled credits at 6, and have no intention of going back.
Difficulty: Easy-Medium, and most will find the game too easy compared to the first two games. I had little difficulty finishing this, and never felt challenged.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: No, but it’s not the best Crash Game. The story is so simple you don’t need to play the others, but I can’t really see why someone would pick this first.
Accessibility Options: None. Subtitles, but little else. You need complete sight to play this game, and fast reflex time with long stretches of play with no break. Button mashing and rapid button combinations are not required, however you will be unable to access much of the optional content. There did not appear to be any necessary audio cues. You may be able to play with game speed via an emulator, but you may need a co-player to complete this game.
How Did You Play It: On original hardware with a PlayStation One.
Is It Good: It’s fine. Worth your time if you’ve played the other ones, but nothing really special.
Crash Bandicoot seems embarrassed of itself.
Warped has great ambitions, every few levels we are whisked away to motorcycle races, 3d plane shooting, a rail shooter, sea-doo courses, and much more. It is clear this was intended to be the biggest, craziest Crash adventure yet. This isn’t just Crash Bandicoot 3.
It’s CRASH BANIDCOOT WARPED!!!!!
-and it’s fine.
I liked it more than Crash 1, and less than Crash 2. All three are worth playing, but only the sequel Cortex Strikes Back fall within the coveted “must play” category.
Yet for all it’s obvious budget, lavish production values, and breathless pacing it feel self-conscious. Like the game so fears being called “just a platformer” that it never feels like it knows what it wants to be.
Crash 3’s new gameplay mechanics are fun distractions, however they mostly amount to simple minigames with very little depth to them. Which is acceptable for an exciting one off, but many of these mechanics repeat in ways I began to find more dull and repetitive. I often found myself wishing to just go back to the platforming.
Crash’s PlayStation One days are excellent platformers, emphasizing great timing and small course corrections. And the series is historically difficult and was not afraid to let you die. This was an obvious goal from the start, as Crash’s elaborate death animations as he gets fried, burnt, and squashed in cartoonish ways teases the player. Death is just a part of playing. The games were never brutal or unfairly punishing.
But Warped is too easy, I had 45 lives when I finished the game, and never saw the game over screen. And I don’t think it’s because I’m experienced, because contrary to popular belief I am not very good at video games. The lack of challenge makes a short game feel even shorter, and worse that my success often felt unearned.
Crash both feels overstuffed yet unfulfilled. Yes, there are more diverse levels, but you blow threw them so quickly. There are more powers, but many actively harm the interest of the game. The tornado spin makes jumping even easier while the bazooka allows you to shoot anything from a safe distant, defeating a great deal of the point. All this added utility just gives us more options for boredom. I actively stopped using tools because they made the game worse, which is never a good feeling. Crash has a great tool kit, his slides and ducks can be chained together for a great feeling of momentum. But the game gets easier and easier the further you get, which is a pretty unsatisfying difficulty curve.
Perhaps all of the good stuff is in the collectibles and Time Trial modes, which are more emphasised then ever. Time Trials. I don’t know, as I was not interested in playing any more.
Crash 3 is a fine game, even an excellent one in many aspects. The animation is impeccable, the voice acting is great fun, and many of the levels are imaginative. I just wished it was more focused.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
1999
Genre: Platformer Collect-a-Thon
Released: November 22nd, 1999
Platform: Nintendo 64 (original), Wii U
Developer: Rare
Publisher: Nintendo
Language: English, but available in French, German, Spanish and Japanese with first party translations.
Length: 20-30 hours, but 35+ for the 101% completion (don’t do that, I beg you). I rolled credits a little after 21 hours. I will never go back.
Difficulty: Easy-Medium, but extraordinarily frustrating. You will finish it, it’s just a question of how much you are willing to take.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: No, this is a stand alone game. There are nods to the Super Nintendo and Arcade games, but no previous games are needed.
Accessibility Options: None. There are subtitles built into the game, but the player is extremely limited in what they can change. Fast responses are required, two handed play is required, full sight is required. Some collectibles and enemy attacks are primarily based on audio cues. If played via an emulator on a PC game speed can be controlled, but you may need a co-player to finish this game.
How Did You Play It: On original N64 hardware via a flashcart with a modified copy of the game that allowed me to change characters whenever I wanted to. The Mod is called DK64 - Tag Anywhere.
Is It Good: No. It’s terrible. Which is why it’s great. But bad. It’s really bad.
Just finished Donkey Kong 64 because I hate myself.
Why Donkey Kong 64 was actually the worst Nintendo Game of the 90’s
How and Why DK64 is so awful.
Bad Game Design – Donkey Kong 64
These are just the top headlines, message boards, or other modern internet musings when discussing Donkey Kong 64, the famous (or infamous) Rare developed yellow cartridge ‘collect-a-thon’ released in 1999. Stating that DK64 in not that great a game is not a particularly scalding opinion. It’s a bloated, poorly optimized, often boring, tedious, and obtusely designed game so bizarre in some of its design choices it boggled my mind. Given its notorious reputation on the internet, one could be forgiven for assuming the game was equally reviled upon its release.
“Donkey Kong 64 deserves the fanfare of being the most eagerly-awaited game since Zelda.”
“This is Rare's War and Peace, it's that simple.”
“I can ill refute the fact that the game is still remarkable. Had this title come from any other game developer in the world I'd be doing back flips raving about how great it is.”
“It's one of those Rare games that makes you remember why you liked video games so much in the first place.”
These quotes are not from some alternate mirror universe, but reviews when DK64 was originally released (although calling DK64 the ‘War and Peace’ of the gaming world is very funny to me). DK64 was critically acclaimed upon its release, praised for its graphics, art, gameplay and length.
I can certainly confirm this positive sentiment since I was a child when the game came out, and I thought DK64 was the coolest thing ever. I remember playing the demo display at McDonalds with a limp sticked, sticky N64 controller and feeling like the game was filled with endless sights and adventures. I remember going to a friend’s house who showed me a later level in the and my being astonished by just how. Much. Stuff. There was to do, to see, to collect, to play.
The game was also gorgeous, with lush jungles and creepy castles, advanced lighting effects (I remember lights moving around Donkey Kong being particularly impressive), all in a seamless world that without any obvious loading screens. But beyond its technical prowess DK64 has an strong artistic identity that is so cohesive and well executed you can still feel it’s influences today.
You can find DK64 sound effects in tiktok videos, people are STILL parodying the DK Rap, the music is loving layered in the background of youtube game discussion videos, and for such a ‘hated’ game Donkey Kong 64 has such a pernicious relevance decades later it is obviously clearly so much more than just an awful Nintendo 64 game from the 90’s.
Donkey Kong 64 is more then a game to be judged on its mechanical gameplay. Because the gameplay is bad. Just… So bad.
But DK64 is not about the gameplay, in fact: the gameplay does not matter at all.
The gameplay was not the focus of this games development, it was not the focus of the critics praise of the game, and is not why people are still playing it today.
Let’s get the gameplay discussion out of the way. In Donkey Kong 64, your goal is simple: collect enough bananas so you can feed Scoff the blue hippopotamus so he gets fat and jumps on a lever to bounce up Troff the pink pig high enough to turn a key to unlock a door so you can fight a boss to get a bigger golden key which then you can use to unlock the cage trapping K. Lumsy the giant green lizard who is locked behind 8 locks so you need to collect enough bigger golden bananas so you can show them to B. Locker to get more bananas to feed Scoff the blue hippopotamus.
…Also please remember to pick up enough weapon blueprints so you have enough time in the final level, banana coins (so you can unlock guns, abilities, musical instruments, and inventory space), a Nintendo coin, a Rare coin, and at least 4 battle crowns. Or you won’t be able to do the last level.
It’s a convoluted mess, and this design philosophy permeates nearly every aspect of the game. Levels are massive, sprawling confusing mazes. There is a car racing minigame, a mine cart minigame, a hide and seek mini game, a beaver herding mini game (which I HATED), a fly swatting mini game, and dozens more. There are two fully emulated OTHER GAMES in Donkey Kong 64 which are mandatory to play. There is an optional photography mechanic. And 3,821 collectibles to acquire.
It's staggering in its scope and suffers deeply for it. Because nearly every mechanic feels like a first draft, and incomplete idea thrown in just to make the game longer and bigger. The minigames are repeated, the bosses are repeated, the platforming is floaty and unresponsive, the levels are filled with almost identical hallways, and there are huge areas of open space with nothing to do. Most damningly a great deal of the actual collecting (arguably the point of the game) is boring and as insulting simple as walk to one place, hit a switch, walk to another, get banana.
And the crown jewel is the fact that essentially every collectable item in the game is tied to a unique Kong. There are five playable characters in the game, and each can only collect their own specific item colour.
See a red banana but are playing as Donkey Kong? You need to walk back to a barrel, swap to Diddy Kong, and walk back. This character switching becomes so extreme I though the designers were playing a joke on me. I would often have to change Kong’s more than three times just to walk down a hallway, a process that required walking all the way back to a barrel each time.
Donkey Kong 64 does so many things, but none of them well. Platforming? Acceptable at best, but a nauseating, stuttering, inaccurate mess at worst. Shooting? Barely fleshed out and clunky. Mini games? Simple, repetitive, and often infuriating (RE: herding beaver). Level Design? Occasionally brilliant, but mostly empty, boring and meandering.
Collecting, the main point the game? Dull, confusing and repetitive.
Even the developers wished they had done differently. In a Games Rader interview from 2019 the games creative director George Andrea states “There's a lot I would do differently. We would scale things down, make things look sharper, and focus on fewer things. I would have unified the banana system. That would have made it much easier for players to play through. I'd also promote more swapping between characters at regular intervals, but just having a consistent banana count, rather than multiple colours, would have improved things.”
So if even the directors lament DK64’s obtuse and unfocused design, and the gameplay lacks any real strong mechanics, why are people still playing this game? Why are there still discussion boards, YouTube videos, memes, and articles still written. Simply bad games are forgotten, and despite some grievous faults DK64 is not unplayable.
I think it’s because DK64 thrives on everything other than being, well, an interactive game. And it is exclusively because of those very flaws that DK64 remains part of the cultural zeitgeist today.
DK64 oozes charm and personality, and carries itself with such a confident artistic vision it easily differentiates itself from the games of its time and those of today. The moment the clear deep “OK!” Donkey Kong exclaims on first powering the game on, the game begins tunneling a space for itself in your brain.
Monkey chirps, cries, and hoots fill the soundscape both as digenetic environmental sounds and becoming musical instruments themselves, which blend seamlessly with the soundtrack. Then the game starts to rap at you, with lyrics such as “his coconut gun can fire in spurts, if he shoots ya it’s gonna hurt!”. It’s so joyful, fully embracing its bizarre and ridiculous nature without a hint of sarcasm.
DK64 powerfully establishes in its first 15 seconds its here to have a great time. Each tune the game throws at you bounces between is an intoxicating mix of jazz, animal sounds, tribal drums, and silly ear worms you can’t help but smile whenever you hear it. The soundtrack deserves all the praise it has received over the years, both on its competent musical composition but also how it affirms the identity of Donkey Kong 64.
Every piece of art, animation, and music feed each other into forming the wacky, colourful and strange ambiance that is uniquely its own. While having five different Kongs mechanically hurts the game, the Kongs themselves are incredibly well designed and presented. The majority of the cast made both their first and last appearance in DK64, yet are still fondly remembered and easily identifiable decades later.
The Kongs strong and clear personalities, no frame of animation or sound effect is wasted as an opportunity to demonstrate character. Just looking at Tiny Kong’s care free walk cycle is enough for one to understand who she is as a character. Or how Chunky Kong bashfully tries to point you to anyone else but him if you try to select him in the menu. Or just hearing Lanky’s hoots and hollers let you know the he has no style, and no grace.
Every pixel and sound bite are squeezed into creating a masterclass in presentation. It is an excellent example of how videos are so much more than their mechanical parts. Donkey Kong 64 is an incredible experience and holds a shared mind space so unique because there is nothing like it. It is charming, funny, strange, and utterly memorable.
Much is said about the graphics, sound, and score (which are exceptional) but I was most impressed with the animation. Not from a gameplay perspective (which again… sucks), but how flowing and expressive every piece is. Characters squash and stretch, scurry, skitter and scramble with such strong performances its impressive even compared to modern games.
The second part is the shared cultural story and experience playing Donkey Kong 64 occupies. Complaining about Donkey Kong 64 is fun. It’s fun to tell our friends how infuriating finding that last banana was, or how we almost gave up when the game asked us to complete the arcade game for a SECOND TIME!
My friends tell me about they time they tried to collect every banana in every level, despite there being no reason or in game reward to do such a terrible thing. Or how people proudly post they got the infamous 101% completion rating. Was it fun? No, they say, but I did it.
People climb Everest because it’s there.
A few house cleaning notes before closing. I played a modified Donkey Kong 64 on a Nintendo 64 via a flash cart. This mod is called ‘Donkey Kong 64 – Tag Anywhere’ and allows you to change to any Kong at any point in the game without needing to backtrack to a barrel. I HIGHLY recommend this modification, and I do not feel it distracts from the ‘vanilla’ experience in any meaningful way. Some will argue that the games backtracking and obtuseness is part of the games charm, to which I would reply ‘don’t worry, the game is still incredibly annoying with the mod’. I would even go further and suggest for first time players to play with the mod on an emulator so you can use save states, but that may be too far for some.
I do not recommend Donkey Kong 64. I did not like playing this game, and had to force myself to continue.
But I loved complaining about it with my friends who had finished it. I loved sharing screenshots and asking for hints. I loved the atmosphere, the characters, and the music.
And I am so very glad I finally finished this game, so many years later.
Please, save yourself some pain and don’t play Donkey Kong 64.
But when you do play it, make sure to write about how terrible it is on the internet.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/
Released: November 22nd, 1999
Platform: Nintendo 64 (original), Wii U
Developer: Rare
Publisher: Nintendo
Language: English, but available in French, German, Spanish and Japanese with first party translations.
Length: 20-30 hours, but 35+ for the 101% completion (don’t do that, I beg you). I rolled credits a little after 21 hours. I will never go back.
Difficulty: Easy-Medium, but extraordinarily frustrating. You will finish it, it’s just a question of how much you are willing to take.
Do I Need To Play Anything First: No, this is a stand alone game. There are nods to the Super Nintendo and Arcade games, but no previous games are needed.
Accessibility Options: None. There are subtitles built into the game, but the player is extremely limited in what they can change. Fast responses are required, two handed play is required, full sight is required. Some collectibles and enemy attacks are primarily based on audio cues. If played via an emulator on a PC game speed can be controlled, but you may need a co-player to finish this game.
How Did You Play It: On original N64 hardware via a flashcart with a modified copy of the game that allowed me to change characters whenever I wanted to. The Mod is called DK64 - Tag Anywhere.
Is It Good: No. It’s terrible. Which is why it’s great. But bad. It’s really bad.
Just finished Donkey Kong 64 because I hate myself.
Why Donkey Kong 64 was actually the worst Nintendo Game of the 90’s
How and Why DK64 is so awful.
Bad Game Design – Donkey Kong 64
These are just the top headlines, message boards, or other modern internet musings when discussing Donkey Kong 64, the famous (or infamous) Rare developed yellow cartridge ‘collect-a-thon’ released in 1999. Stating that DK64 in not that great a game is not a particularly scalding opinion. It’s a bloated, poorly optimized, often boring, tedious, and obtusely designed game so bizarre in some of its design choices it boggled my mind. Given its notorious reputation on the internet, one could be forgiven for assuming the game was equally reviled upon its release.
“Donkey Kong 64 deserves the fanfare of being the most eagerly-awaited game since Zelda.”
“This is Rare's War and Peace, it's that simple.”
“I can ill refute the fact that the game is still remarkable. Had this title come from any other game developer in the world I'd be doing back flips raving about how great it is.”
“It's one of those Rare games that makes you remember why you liked video games so much in the first place.”
These quotes are not from some alternate mirror universe, but reviews when DK64 was originally released (although calling DK64 the ‘War and Peace’ of the gaming world is very funny to me). DK64 was critically acclaimed upon its release, praised for its graphics, art, gameplay and length.
I can certainly confirm this positive sentiment since I was a child when the game came out, and I thought DK64 was the coolest thing ever. I remember playing the demo display at McDonalds with a limp sticked, sticky N64 controller and feeling like the game was filled with endless sights and adventures. I remember going to a friend’s house who showed me a later level in the and my being astonished by just how. Much. Stuff. There was to do, to see, to collect, to play.
The game was also gorgeous, with lush jungles and creepy castles, advanced lighting effects (I remember lights moving around Donkey Kong being particularly impressive), all in a seamless world that without any obvious loading screens. But beyond its technical prowess DK64 has an strong artistic identity that is so cohesive and well executed you can still feel it’s influences today.
You can find DK64 sound effects in tiktok videos, people are STILL parodying the DK Rap, the music is loving layered in the background of youtube game discussion videos, and for such a ‘hated’ game Donkey Kong 64 has such a pernicious relevance decades later it is obviously clearly so much more than just an awful Nintendo 64 game from the 90’s.
Donkey Kong 64 is more then a game to be judged on its mechanical gameplay. Because the gameplay is bad. Just… So bad.
But DK64 is not about the gameplay, in fact: the gameplay does not matter at all.
The gameplay was not the focus of this games development, it was not the focus of the critics praise of the game, and is not why people are still playing it today.
Let’s get the gameplay discussion out of the way. In Donkey Kong 64, your goal is simple: collect enough bananas so you can feed Scoff the blue hippopotamus so he gets fat and jumps on a lever to bounce up Troff the pink pig high enough to turn a key to unlock a door so you can fight a boss to get a bigger golden key which then you can use to unlock the cage trapping K. Lumsy the giant green lizard who is locked behind 8 locks so you need to collect enough bigger golden bananas so you can show them to B. Locker to get more bananas to feed Scoff the blue hippopotamus.
…Also please remember to pick up enough weapon blueprints so you have enough time in the final level, banana coins (so you can unlock guns, abilities, musical instruments, and inventory space), a Nintendo coin, a Rare coin, and at least 4 battle crowns. Or you won’t be able to do the last level.
It’s a convoluted mess, and this design philosophy permeates nearly every aspect of the game. Levels are massive, sprawling confusing mazes. There is a car racing minigame, a mine cart minigame, a hide and seek mini game, a beaver herding mini game (which I HATED), a fly swatting mini game, and dozens more. There are two fully emulated OTHER GAMES in Donkey Kong 64 which are mandatory to play. There is an optional photography mechanic. And 3,821 collectibles to acquire.
It's staggering in its scope and suffers deeply for it. Because nearly every mechanic feels like a first draft, and incomplete idea thrown in just to make the game longer and bigger. The minigames are repeated, the bosses are repeated, the platforming is floaty and unresponsive, the levels are filled with almost identical hallways, and there are huge areas of open space with nothing to do. Most damningly a great deal of the actual collecting (arguably the point of the game) is boring and as insulting simple as walk to one place, hit a switch, walk to another, get banana.
And the crown jewel is the fact that essentially every collectable item in the game is tied to a unique Kong. There are five playable characters in the game, and each can only collect their own specific item colour.
See a red banana but are playing as Donkey Kong? You need to walk back to a barrel, swap to Diddy Kong, and walk back. This character switching becomes so extreme I though the designers were playing a joke on me. I would often have to change Kong’s more than three times just to walk down a hallway, a process that required walking all the way back to a barrel each time.
Donkey Kong 64 does so many things, but none of them well. Platforming? Acceptable at best, but a nauseating, stuttering, inaccurate mess at worst. Shooting? Barely fleshed out and clunky. Mini games? Simple, repetitive, and often infuriating (RE: herding beaver). Level Design? Occasionally brilliant, but mostly empty, boring and meandering.
Collecting, the main point the game? Dull, confusing and repetitive.
Even the developers wished they had done differently. In a Games Rader interview from 2019 the games creative director George Andrea states “There's a lot I would do differently. We would scale things down, make things look sharper, and focus on fewer things. I would have unified the banana system. That would have made it much easier for players to play through. I'd also promote more swapping between characters at regular intervals, but just having a consistent banana count, rather than multiple colours, would have improved things.”
So if even the directors lament DK64’s obtuse and unfocused design, and the gameplay lacks any real strong mechanics, why are people still playing this game? Why are there still discussion boards, YouTube videos, memes, and articles still written. Simply bad games are forgotten, and despite some grievous faults DK64 is not unplayable.
I think it’s because DK64 thrives on everything other than being, well, an interactive game. And it is exclusively because of those very flaws that DK64 remains part of the cultural zeitgeist today.
DK64 oozes charm and personality, and carries itself with such a confident artistic vision it easily differentiates itself from the games of its time and those of today. The moment the clear deep “OK!” Donkey Kong exclaims on first powering the game on, the game begins tunneling a space for itself in your brain.
Monkey chirps, cries, and hoots fill the soundscape both as digenetic environmental sounds and becoming musical instruments themselves, which blend seamlessly with the soundtrack. Then the game starts to rap at you, with lyrics such as “his coconut gun can fire in spurts, if he shoots ya it’s gonna hurt!”. It’s so joyful, fully embracing its bizarre and ridiculous nature without a hint of sarcasm.
DK64 powerfully establishes in its first 15 seconds its here to have a great time. Each tune the game throws at you bounces between is an intoxicating mix of jazz, animal sounds, tribal drums, and silly ear worms you can’t help but smile whenever you hear it. The soundtrack deserves all the praise it has received over the years, both on its competent musical composition but also how it affirms the identity of Donkey Kong 64.
Every piece of art, animation, and music feed each other into forming the wacky, colourful and strange ambiance that is uniquely its own. While having five different Kongs mechanically hurts the game, the Kongs themselves are incredibly well designed and presented. The majority of the cast made both their first and last appearance in DK64, yet are still fondly remembered and easily identifiable decades later.
The Kongs strong and clear personalities, no frame of animation or sound effect is wasted as an opportunity to demonstrate character. Just looking at Tiny Kong’s care free walk cycle is enough for one to understand who she is as a character. Or how Chunky Kong bashfully tries to point you to anyone else but him if you try to select him in the menu. Or just hearing Lanky’s hoots and hollers let you know the he has no style, and no grace.
Every pixel and sound bite are squeezed into creating a masterclass in presentation. It is an excellent example of how videos are so much more than their mechanical parts. Donkey Kong 64 is an incredible experience and holds a shared mind space so unique because there is nothing like it. It is charming, funny, strange, and utterly memorable.
Much is said about the graphics, sound, and score (which are exceptional) but I was most impressed with the animation. Not from a gameplay perspective (which again… sucks), but how flowing and expressive every piece is. Characters squash and stretch, scurry, skitter and scramble with such strong performances its impressive even compared to modern games.
The second part is the shared cultural story and experience playing Donkey Kong 64 occupies. Complaining about Donkey Kong 64 is fun. It’s fun to tell our friends how infuriating finding that last banana was, or how we almost gave up when the game asked us to complete the arcade game for a SECOND TIME!
My friends tell me about they time they tried to collect every banana in every level, despite there being no reason or in game reward to do such a terrible thing. Or how people proudly post they got the infamous 101% completion rating. Was it fun? No, they say, but I did it.
People climb Everest because it’s there.
A few house cleaning notes before closing. I played a modified Donkey Kong 64 on a Nintendo 64 via a flash cart. This mod is called ‘Donkey Kong 64 – Tag Anywhere’ and allows you to change to any Kong at any point in the game without needing to backtrack to a barrel. I HIGHLY recommend this modification, and I do not feel it distracts from the ‘vanilla’ experience in any meaningful way. Some will argue that the games backtracking and obtuseness is part of the games charm, to which I would reply ‘don’t worry, the game is still incredibly annoying with the mod’. I would even go further and suggest for first time players to play with the mod on an emulator so you can use save states, but that may be too far for some.
I do not recommend Donkey Kong 64. I did not like playing this game, and had to force myself to continue.
But I loved complaining about it with my friends who had finished it. I loved sharing screenshots and asking for hints. I loved the atmosphere, the characters, and the music.
And I am so very glad I finally finished this game, so many years later.
Please, save yourself some pain and don’t play Donkey Kong 64.
But when you do play it, make sure to write about how terrible it is on the internet.
Follow me at The Pile for more reviews (including books and films)
https://thepile.substack.com/