HunterMask
1342 Reviews liked by HunterMask
Persona 3 Reload
2024
Persona 3 becomes one of the best games of all time
I have had a very long, very strange journey with Persona 3. I love Atlus games. I adore them. Even when I want to tell myself I don't and that I'm "above" them or something, I can't face away from the truth, that even with all their flaws... I treasure Atlus games more than anything else in the entire medium. I first ventured into Persona 3 in 2020, with FES. After I finished the game, I sat back in my chair and stared at my PS2 for about all of five seconds before I finally came to the conclusion;
"Wow. That was the biggest piece of shit I've ever played in my life."
Persona 3 FES was, for a very long time, my least favorite game ever made. I fucking LOATHED that game, to the point where it became a running joke with friends. There was so much I hated about it. The incessant displays of horniness from Operation Babewatch, Kenji's social link, and the cutscene of Yukari showering. The mindnumbing and vomit-inducing gameplay that made me want to tear my hair out, the awful balancing, the shockingly awful villains, the ugliness of the game's visual style, everything about Persona 3 FES was like poison to me at the time. I hated this game so fucking much that I don't think I actually have the right words to convey that to you. I threw my copy of FES in a drawer where I wouldn't see it again and promptly went on with my life. So needless to say, when Reload got announced... I wasn't really thrilled. I kind of just rolled my eyes. Sure, the game needed a remake desperately, but it wasn't one I was hoping for, especially when the original Persona seems to be rotting away in a corner, desperate for someone to give it the facelift it rightfully deserves. I didn't even pick Reload up on launch, which outside of a few releases that I didn't care for (Soul Hackers 2 and P5 Tactica) was something I hadn't really done with a major Atlus release before. I don't know. It just never seemed necessary to me. Would it make the game enjoyable? Maybe, probably. Did I have any interest? Not enough. Atlus has had 3 (technically 4 if you count the Portable remaster) chances to get this game right. Nearly 20 years later, they're still trying? That seemed ridiculous to me.
And then they finally got it right.
Persona 3 Reload is kind of a masterpiece. Reload gives Persona 3 all the bells and whistles and love and care it deserves, and coming away from it now I'm fully convinced this is not only the best Persona game by an extremely large margin, it's among the very best releases Atlus has ever given us. Hell, if you don't believe me, take it from a guy who fucking hated this game so much it nearly became a part of my personality that I went out of my way to platinum this game and do and see everything in it outside of the secret super boss, which I do intend to give a fair shake sometime eventually. That's the kind of experience this was. An unforgettable one that has completely changed my life.
Reload takes nearly every problem I had with the original and either softens the blow or completely corrects it, and in some cases, takes what was in its place and runs with it. When I tell you the last fucking character I ever expected to come out of this game caring about was god damn JIN and yet the game somehow pulled it off? It's flooring, honestly. Now, let's set the record straight, this game is not flawless. Social links are still a bit rudimentary, the dialogue stumbles on itself sometimes (par for the course with modern Persona), and the horniness is still there, albeit a little bit less intrusive. There's plenty of other things I can mention that I think are silly, but cmon now, very few games are without their flaws. What Persona 3 Reload is able to get away with considering its source material is astounding. The new translation is massively appreciated, as it makes the dialogue feel a lot more robust and organic which is helped to an exponential degree by the fact that Reload may very well have the best voice acting I've ever heard in a JRPG. Every character's voice feels exceedingly real, with real inflections and mannerisms that grant them such a sense of place and personality and seldom does it feel like you're listening to characters, and rather real people. I think that really made me appreciate this game a lot more, as certain characters I couldn't stand before (Aigis, Fuuka, Mitsuru, etc.) I found myself not only appreciating more, but fully falling in love with.
Reload isn't without its controversy though. Persona 3 has always been liked by a very opinionated bunch and that's certainly put a dampener on this game's reputation. The biggest complaint I've seen is that Reload "Persona 5-ifies" Persona 3, to which I say... okay? Frankly I think the game is all the better for it. Reload isn't interested in following Katsura Hashino's vision for Persona 3 to a 100% degree. If that were the case there'd be no point to a remake. And let's face it, love it or hate it, Hashino's vision for Persona 3 was flawed at its best and fucking moronic at its worst. Smoothing over the rough edges like a bunch of AIs playing the game for you or the game punishing you for interacting too much with Tartarus I think helps the game a great deal. You can tell a potent story and leave an impact on your players without having to revoke control and punish them simply for interacting with the game's systems. Is that a controversial statement? I'm sure it is, but frankly if that's the direction this game needed in order for me to care so deeply about it then I couldn't give any less of a fuck. The gameplay is the best the series has ever seen. Battles are snappy, flashy, and fun. The addition of limit breaks via the Theurgy system is a great call, one I was excited to see carried over from SMTV's Magatsuhi system. While they certainly can be a bit much, they're always useful for breaking you out of a pinch in particularly tough fights or being put into a checkmate scenario. Not to mention the overhauls to Tartarus! It's still a bit draining and it does wear out its welcome, but the additional variety gives the game so much more to work with in what was arguably one of its most frustrating and contentious points. Each block of Tartarus is its own thing, both visually and in layout, and it's a much needed break from how formulaic and exhausting it was in the original game.
All that said, the real draw of Persona 3 has always been, and still is its story and characters. The first time I played Persona 3 I really thought it was a case of a game having great concepts and just executing on them poorly. Maybe it was the bad voice acting. Maybe it was me being exhausted from the awful gameplay. It could've been a lot of things. But whatever it was, clearly I was wrong. Persona 3 tells one of my favorite stories I've ever seen in a game. A profoundly deep and moving story of loss, triumph, and celebration. I think a lot of people like to make fun of the idea that "the piece of media says life is worth living therefore it's peak!!!!" which yeah, fair enough. If executed poorly, it can be a bit trite and cliche. I get it. Persona 3 is not that though. Persona 3 makes you feel the weight of your own life clashing against the lives of others and changing them, making them better. I've always thought of Minato Arisato (that is his name I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE YOU FUCKING FIENDS) as this sort of omnipotent, ghostly being whose purpose is to give meaning to others' lives. The ending of this game being his last moments in this world, checking in on everyone and making sure they're doing alright, before passing on and fulfilling his role as the savior of humanity being one of the most profound and emotional moments of any game I have ever played. Maybe this game just came at the right time, maybe now that I'm older I found myself relating to Minato's disposition as someone who sort of exists to give other people purpose, but the last hours of this game made me cry like few things in this world ever have. I bawled endlessly. From seeing Junpei reunite with Chidori, or watching the party react to losing Minato, to checking in on your friends and hearing about the ones who have passed on or go on to do other things with their lives, to the very moment you pass away on that school roof and Memories of You starts playing... it just fucking broke me. I sobbed and sobbed and I couldn't stop sobbing. Writing this review right now I can quite literally feel that same lump finding its way into my throat as I type these words. I don't know what else to say, really. The story is incredible. Every emotional beat hits exactly the way it should. It's not flawless (looking at you Ikutsuki) but my god if it isn't impactful. And that's not even mentioning the characters. Minato, Junpei, Akihiko, Shinji, Mitsuru, Ken, Chidori, Ryoji, hell even some of the social links like Tanaka, Mutatsu, Akinari, Nozomi (yes I'm serious), Bebe, Odagiri, I'm dead serious when I say I love nearly every character in this game. Even the sucky ones have their moments. I love these characters so much. This all goes without mentioning how Reload goes out of its way to give more love and attention to characters who were ignored like Jin and Takaya, or even giving the male party members social outings that help to bring more out of their characters, including a particularly devastating set of interactions with Shinji that really broke me. Previously I thought Persona 1 was my favorite cast in the series but I've since come to realize that the cast of Persona 3 is one I have a near endless love for. Mitsuru Kirijo best girl btw.
Honestly I don't think anything I can say about this game is something that hasn't been written a billion times before. It's beautiful. It's a masterpiece. Reload is everything it deserves to be, and so much more. Writing this review is funny. Playing the game I found myself wanting to talk about so much, even little things, things like how the game so perfectly encapsulates its own time period of 2009-2010, or how hearing Memories of the City again put a god damn pit in my stomach, but sitting here now I find myself blanking on all of that and all I can think about is just one simple fact; I fucking love this game. I genuinely treasure and adore this game, and that's something I never thought I would be saying. This goofy fucking game went from being something I hated so much it pretty much became a part of my personality, to now chilling in my top 10 favorite games of all time as of writing this. It's been a long journey. Four years in the making, yeah. I finally get it. And I'm really glad I do. I will forever be grateful that I got to take the plunge into this game and experience it in the way that I did, and I will always be sad that I won't ever get my first playthrough of Reload back. I was so hesitant to even play it, and as every in game day passed, I felt myself give in more and more to the fact that I was falling in love with something I once hated so intensely. What a powerful feeling. Truthfully though, nothing I say about this game will be some mad revelation or break new ground. No, if anything, I think nothing will ever do this game as much justice as watching that final cutscene and hearing Memories of You play. There's just nothing else like it.
Yes, indeed. The arcana is the means by which all is revealed...
I have had a very long, very strange journey with Persona 3. I love Atlus games. I adore them. Even when I want to tell myself I don't and that I'm "above" them or something, I can't face away from the truth, that even with all their flaws... I treasure Atlus games more than anything else in the entire medium. I first ventured into Persona 3 in 2020, with FES. After I finished the game, I sat back in my chair and stared at my PS2 for about all of five seconds before I finally came to the conclusion;
"Wow. That was the biggest piece of shit I've ever played in my life."
Persona 3 FES was, for a very long time, my least favorite game ever made. I fucking LOATHED that game, to the point where it became a running joke with friends. There was so much I hated about it. The incessant displays of horniness from Operation Babewatch, Kenji's social link, and the cutscene of Yukari showering. The mindnumbing and vomit-inducing gameplay that made me want to tear my hair out, the awful balancing, the shockingly awful villains, the ugliness of the game's visual style, everything about Persona 3 FES was like poison to me at the time. I hated this game so fucking much that I don't think I actually have the right words to convey that to you. I threw my copy of FES in a drawer where I wouldn't see it again and promptly went on with my life. So needless to say, when Reload got announced... I wasn't really thrilled. I kind of just rolled my eyes. Sure, the game needed a remake desperately, but it wasn't one I was hoping for, especially when the original Persona seems to be rotting away in a corner, desperate for someone to give it the facelift it rightfully deserves. I didn't even pick Reload up on launch, which outside of a few releases that I didn't care for (Soul Hackers 2 and P5 Tactica) was something I hadn't really done with a major Atlus release before. I don't know. It just never seemed necessary to me. Would it make the game enjoyable? Maybe, probably. Did I have any interest? Not enough. Atlus has had 3 (technically 4 if you count the Portable remaster) chances to get this game right. Nearly 20 years later, they're still trying? That seemed ridiculous to me.
And then they finally got it right.
Persona 3 Reload is kind of a masterpiece. Reload gives Persona 3 all the bells and whistles and love and care it deserves, and coming away from it now I'm fully convinced this is not only the best Persona game by an extremely large margin, it's among the very best releases Atlus has ever given us. Hell, if you don't believe me, take it from a guy who fucking hated this game so much it nearly became a part of my personality that I went out of my way to platinum this game and do and see everything in it outside of the secret super boss, which I do intend to give a fair shake sometime eventually. That's the kind of experience this was. An unforgettable one that has completely changed my life.
Reload takes nearly every problem I had with the original and either softens the blow or completely corrects it, and in some cases, takes what was in its place and runs with it. When I tell you the last fucking character I ever expected to come out of this game caring about was god damn JIN and yet the game somehow pulled it off? It's flooring, honestly. Now, let's set the record straight, this game is not flawless. Social links are still a bit rudimentary, the dialogue stumbles on itself sometimes (par for the course with modern Persona), and the horniness is still there, albeit a little bit less intrusive. There's plenty of other things I can mention that I think are silly, but cmon now, very few games are without their flaws. What Persona 3 Reload is able to get away with considering its source material is astounding. The new translation is massively appreciated, as it makes the dialogue feel a lot more robust and organic which is helped to an exponential degree by the fact that Reload may very well have the best voice acting I've ever heard in a JRPG. Every character's voice feels exceedingly real, with real inflections and mannerisms that grant them such a sense of place and personality and seldom does it feel like you're listening to characters, and rather real people. I think that really made me appreciate this game a lot more, as certain characters I couldn't stand before (Aigis, Fuuka, Mitsuru, etc.) I found myself not only appreciating more, but fully falling in love with.
Reload isn't without its controversy though. Persona 3 has always been liked by a very opinionated bunch and that's certainly put a dampener on this game's reputation. The biggest complaint I've seen is that Reload "Persona 5-ifies" Persona 3, to which I say... okay? Frankly I think the game is all the better for it. Reload isn't interested in following Katsura Hashino's vision for Persona 3 to a 100% degree. If that were the case there'd be no point to a remake. And let's face it, love it or hate it, Hashino's vision for Persona 3 was flawed at its best and fucking moronic at its worst. Smoothing over the rough edges like a bunch of AIs playing the game for you or the game punishing you for interacting too much with Tartarus I think helps the game a great deal. You can tell a potent story and leave an impact on your players without having to revoke control and punish them simply for interacting with the game's systems. Is that a controversial statement? I'm sure it is, but frankly if that's the direction this game needed in order for me to care so deeply about it then I couldn't give any less of a fuck. The gameplay is the best the series has ever seen. Battles are snappy, flashy, and fun. The addition of limit breaks via the Theurgy system is a great call, one I was excited to see carried over from SMTV's Magatsuhi system. While they certainly can be a bit much, they're always useful for breaking you out of a pinch in particularly tough fights or being put into a checkmate scenario. Not to mention the overhauls to Tartarus! It's still a bit draining and it does wear out its welcome, but the additional variety gives the game so much more to work with in what was arguably one of its most frustrating and contentious points. Each block of Tartarus is its own thing, both visually and in layout, and it's a much needed break from how formulaic and exhausting it was in the original game.
All that said, the real draw of Persona 3 has always been, and still is its story and characters. The first time I played Persona 3 I really thought it was a case of a game having great concepts and just executing on them poorly. Maybe it was the bad voice acting. Maybe it was me being exhausted from the awful gameplay. It could've been a lot of things. But whatever it was, clearly I was wrong. Persona 3 tells one of my favorite stories I've ever seen in a game. A profoundly deep and moving story of loss, triumph, and celebration. I think a lot of people like to make fun of the idea that "the piece of media says life is worth living therefore it's peak!!!!" which yeah, fair enough. If executed poorly, it can be a bit trite and cliche. I get it. Persona 3 is not that though. Persona 3 makes you feel the weight of your own life clashing against the lives of others and changing them, making them better. I've always thought of Minato Arisato (that is his name I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE YOU FUCKING FIENDS) as this sort of omnipotent, ghostly being whose purpose is to give meaning to others' lives. The ending of this game being his last moments in this world, checking in on everyone and making sure they're doing alright, before passing on and fulfilling his role as the savior of humanity being one of the most profound and emotional moments of any game I have ever played. Maybe this game just came at the right time, maybe now that I'm older I found myself relating to Minato's disposition as someone who sort of exists to give other people purpose, but the last hours of this game made me cry like few things in this world ever have. I bawled endlessly. From seeing Junpei reunite with Chidori, or watching the party react to losing Minato, to checking in on your friends and hearing about the ones who have passed on or go on to do other things with their lives, to the very moment you pass away on that school roof and Memories of You starts playing... it just fucking broke me. I sobbed and sobbed and I couldn't stop sobbing. Writing this review right now I can quite literally feel that same lump finding its way into my throat as I type these words. I don't know what else to say, really. The story is incredible. Every emotional beat hits exactly the way it should. It's not flawless (looking at you Ikutsuki) but my god if it isn't impactful. And that's not even mentioning the characters. Minato, Junpei, Akihiko, Shinji, Mitsuru, Ken, Chidori, Ryoji, hell even some of the social links like Tanaka, Mutatsu, Akinari, Nozomi (yes I'm serious), Bebe, Odagiri, I'm dead serious when I say I love nearly every character in this game. Even the sucky ones have their moments. I love these characters so much. This all goes without mentioning how Reload goes out of its way to give more love and attention to characters who were ignored like Jin and Takaya, or even giving the male party members social outings that help to bring more out of their characters, including a particularly devastating set of interactions with Shinji that really broke me. Previously I thought Persona 1 was my favorite cast in the series but I've since come to realize that the cast of Persona 3 is one I have a near endless love for. Mitsuru Kirijo best girl btw.
Honestly I don't think anything I can say about this game is something that hasn't been written a billion times before. It's beautiful. It's a masterpiece. Reload is everything it deserves to be, and so much more. Writing this review is funny. Playing the game I found myself wanting to talk about so much, even little things, things like how the game so perfectly encapsulates its own time period of 2009-2010, or how hearing Memories of the City again put a god damn pit in my stomach, but sitting here now I find myself blanking on all of that and all I can think about is just one simple fact; I fucking love this game. I genuinely treasure and adore this game, and that's something I never thought I would be saying. This goofy fucking game went from being something I hated so much it pretty much became a part of my personality, to now chilling in my top 10 favorite games of all time as of writing this. It's been a long journey. Four years in the making, yeah. I finally get it. And I'm really glad I do. I will forever be grateful that I got to take the plunge into this game and experience it in the way that I did, and I will always be sad that I won't ever get my first playthrough of Reload back. I was so hesitant to even play it, and as every in game day passed, I felt myself give in more and more to the fact that I was falling in love with something I once hated so intensely. What a powerful feeling. Truthfully though, nothing I say about this game will be some mad revelation or break new ground. No, if anything, I think nothing will ever do this game as much justice as watching that final cutscene and hearing Memories of You play. There's just nothing else like it.
Yes, indeed. The arcana is the means by which all is revealed...
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Doing a longer review later, but... dude... I genuinely wanted to eat a Tide Pod in the final 3 missions... Fun game, but man...
THIS GAME IS QUITE A WEAK LINK, IN MY CHAIN OF MEMORIES
I genuinely don’t know what to think about this game. This is the biggest love/hate relationship I’ve ever had with a video game before.
The story opens with an FMV showing our heroes arriving at a mysterious and oddly shaped castle. Castle Oblivion is its name. Thinking Riku and King Mickey are inside, they venture forth. The story inside is really damn good. Castle Oblivion slowly steals the memories of Sora and the gang, a mysterious organization in black robes is introduced, and as Sora forgets Kairi, he starts to remember a strange girl named Naminé. All this adds up to a dream-like atmosphere that makes me question what’s real and what’s not. I especially love how the black robes exploit the castle, and really start to dig into Sora, even making him question his Shonen-Hero nature. Hell, even the stories of each Disney world are better. They’re all better written and connect to the greater theme of memories and the losing there of. It all really touched me, a lot more than the first game. It’s a shame this story is in this game specifically.
Instead of the Hack n’ Slash meets RPG gameplay of the last game, Chain of Memories introduces a card based combat system. Already a red flag, but it doesn’t start out too bad. The early floors are fairly easy, hell I ended up ignoring the cards a lot and just ended up playing 2D Kingdom Hearts. However, the difficulty slowly ramps up, much like how Sora is slowly losing his memories. The later half of the castle is just… annoying and frustrating. The enemies are annoying lil buggers, and the boss fights pound you into the ground unless you use decks full of cheese strategies. All this and I haven’t even mentioned the maps. Each floor of Castle Oblivion mimics one of the worlds Sora visited in Kingdom Hearts 1. However, they all are made of the same rooms, picked out by you with Map Cards. This leads to the maps feeling samey and boring, not to mention you have to grind for map cards if you don’t have one that can fit a certain door. It’s just not fun, not to me at least.
But hey, the game at least looks pretty. The 16 bit art is amazing and translates the 3D models perfectly. Plus the music is nice. I quite like “Hand in Hand”, the battle theme for Traverse Town. There’s also a second campaign after you beat Sora’s story. This second story has you playing as Riku and Mickey. I’ve heard it’s better than Sora’s story but I just can’t bring myself to get to that point. Though, after looking up the cutscenes on YouTube, Riku has continued to be my favorite character. I love this snarky lil edgelord. Seeing his character development and him forming a friendship with Micheal Mouse was lovely!
After all this, I think I would like to forget this game. Its painful gameplay clashing with its wonderful story. It all gives me a headache.
I genuinely don’t know what to think about this game. This is the biggest love/hate relationship I’ve ever had with a video game before.
The story opens with an FMV showing our heroes arriving at a mysterious and oddly shaped castle. Castle Oblivion is its name. Thinking Riku and King Mickey are inside, they venture forth. The story inside is really damn good. Castle Oblivion slowly steals the memories of Sora and the gang, a mysterious organization in black robes is introduced, and as Sora forgets Kairi, he starts to remember a strange girl named Naminé. All this adds up to a dream-like atmosphere that makes me question what’s real and what’s not. I especially love how the black robes exploit the castle, and really start to dig into Sora, even making him question his Shonen-Hero nature. Hell, even the stories of each Disney world are better. They’re all better written and connect to the greater theme of memories and the losing there of. It all really touched me, a lot more than the first game. It’s a shame this story is in this game specifically.
Instead of the Hack n’ Slash meets RPG gameplay of the last game, Chain of Memories introduces a card based combat system. Already a red flag, but it doesn’t start out too bad. The early floors are fairly easy, hell I ended up ignoring the cards a lot and just ended up playing 2D Kingdom Hearts. However, the difficulty slowly ramps up, much like how Sora is slowly losing his memories. The later half of the castle is just… annoying and frustrating. The enemies are annoying lil buggers, and the boss fights pound you into the ground unless you use decks full of cheese strategies. All this and I haven’t even mentioned the maps. Each floor of Castle Oblivion mimics one of the worlds Sora visited in Kingdom Hearts 1. However, they all are made of the same rooms, picked out by you with Map Cards. This leads to the maps feeling samey and boring, not to mention you have to grind for map cards if you don’t have one that can fit a certain door. It’s just not fun, not to me at least.
But hey, the game at least looks pretty. The 16 bit art is amazing and translates the 3D models perfectly. Plus the music is nice. I quite like “Hand in Hand”, the battle theme for Traverse Town. There’s also a second campaign after you beat Sora’s story. This second story has you playing as Riku and Mickey. I’ve heard it’s better than Sora’s story but I just can’t bring myself to get to that point. Though, after looking up the cutscenes on YouTube, Riku has continued to be my favorite character. I love this snarky lil edgelord. Seeing his character development and him forming a friendship with Micheal Mouse was lovely!
After all this, I think I would like to forget this game. Its painful gameplay clashing with its wonderful story. It all gives me a headache.
When I’m in an annoying piece of shit competition and my opponent is this guy. 😱😱😱
Remember that sick CGI teaser at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2 that shows off this crazy battle with people in armor we’ve never seen before?? Whoa!! Wouldn’t it be cool to watch it 3 more fucking times?
I’ve been mulling over this one because I did a 100% playthrough of it and I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not I simply do not like this game or if I would just find it mediocre had I not twisted my own asshole doing all of the optional content. While I do love Kingdom Hearts as a series, I am also a realist, and thinking about it long enough has made me come to the conclusion that no actually, I think I just don’t really like this game. It really just comes down to what I get the most enjoyment out of Kingdom Hearts from: a rather heartwarming plot about friends who will go to the ends of the Earth for each other, a decently fun combat system, and challenges that are arguably the better content. Like some of the other handheld counterparts of this series, Birth by Sleep partially fulfills aspect 1 and never delivers on aspect 2 or 3 for its entire runtime. Had I not 100%’d this, I am genuinely of the belief that I would still find it rather mediocre. All story spoilers and story critiques will be hidden inside of a hyperlink near the end, so don’t worry about that.
So, the story begins….
For the unaware, this is not a game that follows the likes of Sora and his two cannon fodder companions, but is instead a prequel that features three entirely new characters. Each one follows the same exact timeline, just in different perspectives. A tragic story about three friends who get taken advantage of, fighting tooth and nail to keep each other safe. (Wait, we've heard this one before..) With the way it’s set up, it encourages you to play as Terra first. I have a general issue with all of this, but it’s for spoiler talk later. For the sake of structuring this review the best way that I can, let’s just entertain Square’s desires and play as what would be considered to be a sentient boulder with legs first. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, Terra blows ass. He’s incredibly strong, but also incredibly slow and bulky, with the worst dodge out of the three characters. There is nothing better than dashing in a straight line and getting eviscerated because the non-cancellable animation is longer than the dodge’s i-frame window. This is something that is manageable through some defense abilities and practice, but he never ever feels great to play because of it. Therefore, it’s kind of like trudging through mud.
Part of me wonders if Terra gets significantly more flack than deserved simply because the game doesn’t really do him any favors when it comes to it’s overall mechanics either. You see, we can’t just learn abilities and finishers through leveling up, like it is in the other games. Naw, we have to make it different! We have to make it a fucking chore. We’re going to attach those abilities to your command attacks, which you have to craft, but we’re never going to tell you the recipe for any of them. Then once you figure that shit out, or use Google (who cares), now you have to level those commands to max level in order to use the ability without having the command in your deck. You want a new finisher? We’re not gonna tell you how to get that shit either. Select one that you already own and either walk around for thousands of steps, kill 800+ or so enemies, or collect thousands of dollars. Fuck you, we’re not gonna tell you which one is which. Oh, but you can’t grind for two of these at the same time, oh no, you can only grind for them if they’re in the same bracket. Meaning that you may have to kill 800 enemies, and then grind for thousands of dollars for two separate finishers. While you sit and figure this out on your own, getting blasted over and over again until you finally get your hands on Leaf Bracer. Yeah, you’re probably going to despise Terra as a character while you’re forced to learn the gymnasium ropes that this game forces you to climb up. Floaty combat be damned.
Birth by Sleep apologists will tell you, “just google the recipes and grind for everything you need right from the get go. There’s no reason to complain if you’re not even trying, forehead.” SHUT UP. Even if you have the foresight to do this, all of that goes straight out the window the moment you realize that the plot for each character is like 5 minutes long. You’re in some worlds for maybe two cutscenes tops, fight a boss, watch a 20 minute movie in-between, and then all of sudden you’re in the final world at the last save point and you still don’t even have anywhere close to half of the abilities or commands. You can get through this entire thing without obtaining life altering abilities like Second Chance, something I would consider to be a staple of every Kingdom Hearts game. Genuinely when are you supposed to grind any of this out without knowing ahead of time, if not after their story? I’m sorry, but this is fundamentally dog water at its core, only exacerbated even more on a completionist playthrough. It means you’ll be playing what feels like 10% story content, backloaded by 90% command grinding and Mirage Arena. You finish Terra’s story and watch a fully complete Credits segment. After all of that is said and done, no matter the percentage you’re going for, it almost ends up not mattering at all because..
Now you have to do it all over again..
Yes, once you’re done with Terra you’ll move onto Ventus; a much more nimble character, but with the defenses of wet paper towels. There are only minimal differences between the three: different finishers, different attacks, different movement, but that’s about it. Just know that both Ventus and Aqua are leagues above Terra’s tortoise gameplay. With how the Birth by Sleep save system works, you lose all of your progress and get sent back to 0 when starting the next character’s playthrough. Clap those cymbals together, you idiot. But, a-ha!, this time you understand that the rug will be pulled out from under you and preparation can be done to mitigate some of that playtime you suffered through before. You’ve learned the way of the Birth by Sleep ability system, but have you mastered the art of the mini-game? Since each playthrough is the same thing minus the controlled character, that means you’ll be doing everything three times over. Fruitball (fucking kill me), Rumble Racing (please perish), and Ice Cream Beat for starters. If I had to rank them I’d go in reverse order of what I just said. I think Ice Cream Beat gets a lot of heat for no reason, but I think that’s because some people can’t admit that they’re just bad at rhythm games. Dunked on. The other two though, bury them in a ditch. If there’s one thing I cannot stand in a video game, it’s a racing segment in a game where racing isn’t the main gameplay mechanic. You might as well torture me instead. Fruitball is the shittiest version of tennis/soccer ever crafted by man. If those aren’t enough for you, don’t worry, we have Command Board at home. I really, really hope you like Monopoly because you’re going to play an absolute metric ton of it.
Oh, Command Board. With 7 boards available, you’ll be mercilessly sent to what feels like being stuck in traffic while you roll Mario Party dice through a board of pain and misery. It is essentially Monopoly without the landlords, only mitigated by the fact that it has the ability to level up some of your commands and ends by passing “Go” once you hit the money cap. It is, however, still entirely RNG based and God help you if you’re unlucky. Is it an easy way to obtain some good commands early? Sure. But, is it fun? No. No, it is not. Not only are you expected to win all 7 boards with all three characters, you’re also expected to win them again in the Mirage Arena. That is 42 games of Command Board, provided you win every time and grab the few commands that are only obtainable from them in one go. I don’t mention this a lot because it’s almost never relevant, but I do stream the games that I review. Some people went AFK while I was playing Command Board, just to come back while still playing a different Command Board hours later. There are people out there who think this game is just a Kingdom Hearts themed board game.
And look, I love me some Yoko Shimomura music as much as the next guy, but something about the Birth by Sleep OST just grinds my gears. I think it has something to do with the fact that the songs have incredibly short loops, meaning that you’ll be hearing the most brain rot music on repeat for fucking hours. I think the Castle of Dreams theme is used to train MKUltra Sleeper Agents because this will make me instantly go rogue the second I hear this shit again unprompted. Make no mistake though, there are absolute bangers when it counts the most. Specifically, Vanitas’s theme opens up the fucking mosh pit every time it comes on. I just wish that was carried over across the whole soundtrack in the same way it does for most of the series. Kingdom Hearts does not have the greatest level designs, but the music at least lifts a lot of that up. In Birth by Sleep, the worlds are at an all-time empty. There is not a single person living in them, which means most areas are GIGANTIC rooms of nothing but endless waves of the most gimmicky Unversed. Keep in mind that this was a PSP game originally. I never owned a PSP so I wouldn’t know how the hardware worked, but even in remastered form they didn’t bother to add anything to the backgrounds in order to make the worlds actually feel like worlds. It makes scenes in the Coliseum utterly hilarious because there’s audiences losing their fucking minds while the camera pans to the side showing you that there are actually zero people sitting in the stands.
Oh? You’ve finished the story and grinded out all of your little mini-games again? You’ve done the Mirage Arena gauntlet and collected all of your little finishers. You watched your second batch of the same exact Credits segment? Well, good news!!
Now you have to do it all over again..
You’ve finally made it to the last character, Aqua. The woman of the group. The magical girl boss babe that can do no wrong, equipped with magic spells that will split all the enemy’s assholes wide open. Well, for the most part. (More spoiler talk later.) This is something that should be a worthy reward for the gamers who have stuck it out this long, but at this point you’ve been playing the game for so long, doing the same shit, that you just want to be done with it. If you’ve made it this far in the review, you’re probably wondering why I’ve stuck with a 100% playthrough if it clearly wasn’t an enjoyable experience. The thing is, I replay KH1 and KH2 to 100% completion for fun, so it’s not really something I just chose to do out of the blue. Sure, synthesis grinding in those games are a pain in the ass but leveling up to high degrees so that you even have a chance at fighting the data bosses is where I think the real entertainment in those games lie. They’re a worthy challenge for gamers who are looking to get their shit rocked by them. I’m here to tell you right now that this is not the case for this game.
First off, the command melding can net you some pretty cool and flashy attacks that’ll wipe the floor with most enemies. If only they didn’t take ages to set up and granted you i-frames. Birth by Sleep seems to really love non-cancellable animations that will either leave you murdered or leave you waiting for an attack to end even after everything is already dead. The amount of time spent waiting for Rhythm Mixer to end should be its own calculated stat on the end screen. Unfortunately, this means that even after working towards getting cool shit like Tornado or Transcendance, you’ll likely never get to actually use them where it matters since bosses will not allow you to pull that shit in their fights, let alone the regular enemies. I would have loved to kill Xehanort with the break dancing attack, but no, you get knocked out of using it the 9/10 times you try. Therefore, you’re more likely to just strap on the tried and true command deck that everyone and their mom uses. 4 Thunder Surges with 4 Curagas. Thunder Surge is the most powerful attack with the highest radius of damage while also providing you with i-frames across a long distance. It’s broken, and gives you zero reason to diversify with anything else. You’ll be needing that deck anyways, since it’s one of the only ways to defeat the shittiest boss to ever be created.
After getting this far, I was pretty set in just calling this a boring trip full of chores and monotony but that was before finally unlocking the optional bosses as a reward for making all three of my children as powerful as possible. The two in the Mirage Arena are fine. Completely manageable fights where typical pattern memorization is the key to winning. But, and I say this with minimal exaggeration, you would have way more fun getting run over by a truck than you would if you were to fight either of the other two. The first one would be spoiled by saying their name so just call him Idiot McGee, I don’t know. He’s got a health bar as short as an ant, compensated by the fact that he immediately assaults and one shots you by ignoring your abilities and teleporting away whenever you try to land an attack of your own. He also copies your spells and uses them himself, meaning that curing yourself is off the table unless you want to deal with him healing himself to pay it back. It’s hard as balls and you’d think this would be a worthy challenge. Except for the fact that he’s programmed with sand for a brain and completely loses it the second you hide behind one of the giant rocks on the battlefield. It’s almost like he has object permanence and thinks you’ve literally disappeared from battle. So guess what, use that to your advantage and you’ve effectively cheesed him. Riveting stuff for a late-game addition. Now get ready for a genuine challenge, but for all the wrong reasons: Mysterious Figure. I would not even send the most annoying FromSoft fans this guy's way.
The last thing on the agenda is to kill Mysterious Figure, probably the worst boss I have ever encountered in.. gaming. He is no Lingering Will, that’s for sure. Why fight a guy that will test your abilities and skill level when you can just get your shit fucked up by an RNG simulator instead? This dude’s rocking a moveset of like 15 attacks, all used completely randomly with almost zero tells. He can break out of all of your combos, throw you into the air, split himself into 5 copies that can all attack you with different spells, turn himself invisible, drop a meteor on your head, mega-flare, stab you with never-ending spears, and hit you with a tornado that makes you drop all of your commands on the ground. Worst of all, he has a Doom spell that will end the fight instantaneously if you can’t mash the X button at the same speed as a Master Mode CPU of Mario Party. This dude is FUCKED, and he can eat shit. Sure, he’s challenging but it’s literally only because he is poorly designed in a game where the combat is watered down for PSP play. You want to know what you get for beating this guy? A keyblade that sucks worse than the last one, and pointlessly unusable for Terra/Ventus since you’ve just completed the game with them by defeating him. Jesus fucking Christ. And you get to do it 3 glorious times. This is the culmination of why I don’t like this game because none of it is a worthy challenge. It’s not fun.
Provided you finished everything and didn’t accidentally save over your save files like a bingus, you’re getting sent straight to the finale, but not until after you’ve watched the same full Credits segment for the 3rd time. They really want you to know who worked on this game. Play your cards right and watch the credits AGAIN, you’ll also get an extra, extra bonus epilogue episode after that episode. (It's unlocked by either 100%ing the game, beating it on critical mode, or killing an asinine amount of enemies.) This game is never-ending.
Spoiler discussion for plot and characters in this link here. Click at your own discretion.
And that’s that. Birth by Sleep is probably one of the most important games out of the entire series as it was their first attempt at building the world outside of Sora’s shenanigans. There are dire consequences here, but at the end of the day it just serves as more backstory for characters who will always be treated much more respectfully (unless they're Kairi.) It’s a game that is filled to the brim with tedious segments and annoying combat, where the important battles are incredibly anticlimactic and the optional ones are utter horseshit. Play it normally for the plot, but definitely do not 100% it.
I am finally simple and clean. (I have showered.)
Remember that sick CGI teaser at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2 that shows off this crazy battle with people in armor we’ve never seen before?? Whoa!! Wouldn’t it be cool to watch it 3 more fucking times?
I’ve been mulling over this one because I did a 100% playthrough of it and I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not I simply do not like this game or if I would just find it mediocre had I not twisted my own asshole doing all of the optional content. While I do love Kingdom Hearts as a series, I am also a realist, and thinking about it long enough has made me come to the conclusion that no actually, I think I just don’t really like this game. It really just comes down to what I get the most enjoyment out of Kingdom Hearts from: a rather heartwarming plot about friends who will go to the ends of the Earth for each other, a decently fun combat system, and challenges that are arguably the better content. Like some of the other handheld counterparts of this series, Birth by Sleep partially fulfills aspect 1 and never delivers on aspect 2 or 3 for its entire runtime. Had I not 100%’d this, I am genuinely of the belief that I would still find it rather mediocre. All story spoilers and story critiques will be hidden inside of a hyperlink near the end, so don’t worry about that.
So, the story begins….
For the unaware, this is not a game that follows the likes of Sora and his two cannon fodder companions, but is instead a prequel that features three entirely new characters. Each one follows the same exact timeline, just in different perspectives. A tragic story about three friends who get taken advantage of, fighting tooth and nail to keep each other safe. (Wait, we've heard this one before..) With the way it’s set up, it encourages you to play as Terra first. I have a general issue with all of this, but it’s for spoiler talk later. For the sake of structuring this review the best way that I can, let’s just entertain Square’s desires and play as what would be considered to be a sentient boulder with legs first. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, Terra blows ass. He’s incredibly strong, but also incredibly slow and bulky, with the worst dodge out of the three characters. There is nothing better than dashing in a straight line and getting eviscerated because the non-cancellable animation is longer than the dodge’s i-frame window. This is something that is manageable through some defense abilities and practice, but he never ever feels great to play because of it. Therefore, it’s kind of like trudging through mud.
Part of me wonders if Terra gets significantly more flack than deserved simply because the game doesn’t really do him any favors when it comes to it’s overall mechanics either. You see, we can’t just learn abilities and finishers through leveling up, like it is in the other games. Naw, we have to make it different! We have to make it a fucking chore. We’re going to attach those abilities to your command attacks, which you have to craft, but we’re never going to tell you the recipe for any of them. Then once you figure that shit out, or use Google (who cares), now you have to level those commands to max level in order to use the ability without having the command in your deck. You want a new finisher? We’re not gonna tell you how to get that shit either. Select one that you already own and either walk around for thousands of steps, kill 800+ or so enemies, or collect thousands of dollars. Fuck you, we’re not gonna tell you which one is which. Oh, but you can’t grind for two of these at the same time, oh no, you can only grind for them if they’re in the same bracket. Meaning that you may have to kill 800 enemies, and then grind for thousands of dollars for two separate finishers. While you sit and figure this out on your own, getting blasted over and over again until you finally get your hands on Leaf Bracer. Yeah, you’re probably going to despise Terra as a character while you’re forced to learn the gymnasium ropes that this game forces you to climb up. Floaty combat be damned.
Birth by Sleep apologists will tell you, “just google the recipes and grind for everything you need right from the get go. There’s no reason to complain if you’re not even trying, forehead.” SHUT UP. Even if you have the foresight to do this, all of that goes straight out the window the moment you realize that the plot for each character is like 5 minutes long. You’re in some worlds for maybe two cutscenes tops, fight a boss, watch a 20 minute movie in-between, and then all of sudden you’re in the final world at the last save point and you still don’t even have anywhere close to half of the abilities or commands. You can get through this entire thing without obtaining life altering abilities like Second Chance, something I would consider to be a staple of every Kingdom Hearts game. Genuinely when are you supposed to grind any of this out without knowing ahead of time, if not after their story? I’m sorry, but this is fundamentally dog water at its core, only exacerbated even more on a completionist playthrough. It means you’ll be playing what feels like 10% story content, backloaded by 90% command grinding and Mirage Arena. You finish Terra’s story and watch a fully complete Credits segment. After all of that is said and done, no matter the percentage you’re going for, it almost ends up not mattering at all because..
Now you have to do it all over again..
Yes, once you’re done with Terra you’ll move onto Ventus; a much more nimble character, but with the defenses of wet paper towels. There are only minimal differences between the three: different finishers, different attacks, different movement, but that’s about it. Just know that both Ventus and Aqua are leagues above Terra’s tortoise gameplay. With how the Birth by Sleep save system works, you lose all of your progress and get sent back to 0 when starting the next character’s playthrough. Clap those cymbals together, you idiot. But, a-ha!, this time you understand that the rug will be pulled out from under you and preparation can be done to mitigate some of that playtime you suffered through before. You’ve learned the way of the Birth by Sleep ability system, but have you mastered the art of the mini-game? Since each playthrough is the same thing minus the controlled character, that means you’ll be doing everything three times over. Fruitball (fucking kill me), Rumble Racing (please perish), and Ice Cream Beat for starters. If I had to rank them I’d go in reverse order of what I just said. I think Ice Cream Beat gets a lot of heat for no reason, but I think that’s because some people can’t admit that they’re just bad at rhythm games. Dunked on. The other two though, bury them in a ditch. If there’s one thing I cannot stand in a video game, it’s a racing segment in a game where racing isn’t the main gameplay mechanic. You might as well torture me instead. Fruitball is the shittiest version of tennis/soccer ever crafted by man. If those aren’t enough for you, don’t worry, we have Command Board at home. I really, really hope you like Monopoly because you’re going to play an absolute metric ton of it.
Oh, Command Board. With 7 boards available, you’ll be mercilessly sent to what feels like being stuck in traffic while you roll Mario Party dice through a board of pain and misery. It is essentially Monopoly without the landlords, only mitigated by the fact that it has the ability to level up some of your commands and ends by passing “Go” once you hit the money cap. It is, however, still entirely RNG based and God help you if you’re unlucky. Is it an easy way to obtain some good commands early? Sure. But, is it fun? No. No, it is not. Not only are you expected to win all 7 boards with all three characters, you’re also expected to win them again in the Mirage Arena. That is 42 games of Command Board, provided you win every time and grab the few commands that are only obtainable from them in one go. I don’t mention this a lot because it’s almost never relevant, but I do stream the games that I review. Some people went AFK while I was playing Command Board, just to come back while still playing a different Command Board hours later. There are people out there who think this game is just a Kingdom Hearts themed board game.
And look, I love me some Yoko Shimomura music as much as the next guy, but something about the Birth by Sleep OST just grinds my gears. I think it has something to do with the fact that the songs have incredibly short loops, meaning that you’ll be hearing the most brain rot music on repeat for fucking hours. I think the Castle of Dreams theme is used to train MKUltra Sleeper Agents because this will make me instantly go rogue the second I hear this shit again unprompted. Make no mistake though, there are absolute bangers when it counts the most. Specifically, Vanitas’s theme opens up the fucking mosh pit every time it comes on. I just wish that was carried over across the whole soundtrack in the same way it does for most of the series. Kingdom Hearts does not have the greatest level designs, but the music at least lifts a lot of that up. In Birth by Sleep, the worlds are at an all-time empty. There is not a single person living in them, which means most areas are GIGANTIC rooms of nothing but endless waves of the most gimmicky Unversed. Keep in mind that this was a PSP game originally. I never owned a PSP so I wouldn’t know how the hardware worked, but even in remastered form they didn’t bother to add anything to the backgrounds in order to make the worlds actually feel like worlds. It makes scenes in the Coliseum utterly hilarious because there’s audiences losing their fucking minds while the camera pans to the side showing you that there are actually zero people sitting in the stands.
Oh? You’ve finished the story and grinded out all of your little mini-games again? You’ve done the Mirage Arena gauntlet and collected all of your little finishers. You watched your second batch of the same exact Credits segment? Well, good news!!
Now you have to do it all over again..
You’ve finally made it to the last character, Aqua. The woman of the group. The magical girl boss babe that can do no wrong, equipped with magic spells that will split all the enemy’s assholes wide open. Well, for the most part. (More spoiler talk later.) This is something that should be a worthy reward for the gamers who have stuck it out this long, but at this point you’ve been playing the game for so long, doing the same shit, that you just want to be done with it. If you’ve made it this far in the review, you’re probably wondering why I’ve stuck with a 100% playthrough if it clearly wasn’t an enjoyable experience. The thing is, I replay KH1 and KH2 to 100% completion for fun, so it’s not really something I just chose to do out of the blue. Sure, synthesis grinding in those games are a pain in the ass but leveling up to high degrees so that you even have a chance at fighting the data bosses is where I think the real entertainment in those games lie. They’re a worthy challenge for gamers who are looking to get their shit rocked by them. I’m here to tell you right now that this is not the case for this game.
First off, the command melding can net you some pretty cool and flashy attacks that’ll wipe the floor with most enemies. If only they didn’t take ages to set up and granted you i-frames. Birth by Sleep seems to really love non-cancellable animations that will either leave you murdered or leave you waiting for an attack to end even after everything is already dead. The amount of time spent waiting for Rhythm Mixer to end should be its own calculated stat on the end screen. Unfortunately, this means that even after working towards getting cool shit like Tornado or Transcendance, you’ll likely never get to actually use them where it matters since bosses will not allow you to pull that shit in their fights, let alone the regular enemies. I would have loved to kill Xehanort with the break dancing attack, but no, you get knocked out of using it the 9/10 times you try. Therefore, you’re more likely to just strap on the tried and true command deck that everyone and their mom uses. 4 Thunder Surges with 4 Curagas. Thunder Surge is the most powerful attack with the highest radius of damage while also providing you with i-frames across a long distance. It’s broken, and gives you zero reason to diversify with anything else. You’ll be needing that deck anyways, since it’s one of the only ways to defeat the shittiest boss to ever be created.
After getting this far, I was pretty set in just calling this a boring trip full of chores and monotony but that was before finally unlocking the optional bosses as a reward for making all three of my children as powerful as possible. The two in the Mirage Arena are fine. Completely manageable fights where typical pattern memorization is the key to winning. But, and I say this with minimal exaggeration, you would have way more fun getting run over by a truck than you would if you were to fight either of the other two. The first one would be spoiled by saying their name so just call him Idiot McGee, I don’t know. He’s got a health bar as short as an ant, compensated by the fact that he immediately assaults and one shots you by ignoring your abilities and teleporting away whenever you try to land an attack of your own. He also copies your spells and uses them himself, meaning that curing yourself is off the table unless you want to deal with him healing himself to pay it back. It’s hard as balls and you’d think this would be a worthy challenge. Except for the fact that he’s programmed with sand for a brain and completely loses it the second you hide behind one of the giant rocks on the battlefield. It’s almost like he has object permanence and thinks you’ve literally disappeared from battle. So guess what, use that to your advantage and you’ve effectively cheesed him. Riveting stuff for a late-game addition. Now get ready for a genuine challenge, but for all the wrong reasons: Mysterious Figure. I would not even send the most annoying FromSoft fans this guy's way.
The last thing on the agenda is to kill Mysterious Figure, probably the worst boss I have ever encountered in.. gaming. He is no Lingering Will, that’s for sure. Why fight a guy that will test your abilities and skill level when you can just get your shit fucked up by an RNG simulator instead? This dude’s rocking a moveset of like 15 attacks, all used completely randomly with almost zero tells. He can break out of all of your combos, throw you into the air, split himself into 5 copies that can all attack you with different spells, turn himself invisible, drop a meteor on your head, mega-flare, stab you with never-ending spears, and hit you with a tornado that makes you drop all of your commands on the ground. Worst of all, he has a Doom spell that will end the fight instantaneously if you can’t mash the X button at the same speed as a Master Mode CPU of Mario Party. This dude is FUCKED, and he can eat shit. Sure, he’s challenging but it’s literally only because he is poorly designed in a game where the combat is watered down for PSP play. You want to know what you get for beating this guy? A keyblade that sucks worse than the last one, and pointlessly unusable for Terra/Ventus since you’ve just completed the game with them by defeating him. Jesus fucking Christ. And you get to do it 3 glorious times. This is the culmination of why I don’t like this game because none of it is a worthy challenge. It’s not fun.
Provided you finished everything and didn’t accidentally save over your save files like a bingus, you’re getting sent straight to the finale, but not until after you’ve watched the same full Credits segment for the 3rd time. They really want you to know who worked on this game. Play your cards right and watch the credits AGAIN, you’ll also get an extra, extra bonus epilogue episode after that episode. (It's unlocked by either 100%ing the game, beating it on critical mode, or killing an asinine amount of enemies.) This game is never-ending.
Spoiler discussion for plot and characters in this link here. Click at your own discretion.
And that’s that. Birth by Sleep is probably one of the most important games out of the entire series as it was their first attempt at building the world outside of Sora’s shenanigans. There are dire consequences here, but at the end of the day it just serves as more backstory for characters who will always be treated much more respectfully (unless they're Kairi.) It’s a game that is filled to the brim with tedious segments and annoying combat, where the important battles are incredibly anticlimactic and the optional ones are utter horseshit. Play it normally for the plot, but definitely do not 100% it.
I am finally simple and clean. (I have showered.)
Just wanted to say that most of the KH series is now available on Steam and Tim Sweeney needs to get a foot shoved up his ass
In all honesty, I shouldn't be giving this a 10/10. The gameplay was really fun throughout this campaign, and the narrative was surprisingly competent, making it a godsend among Destiny DLCs, but still just a "good at best" narrative and nothing spectacular compared to its peers. The Pale Heart is beautiful, and D2's skybox team outdid themselves once again, and I think is the part of this expansion that could be considered outstanding, even when compared to other great games. Even with all that, in no way should this be a 10/10.
But still, I can't help but cry seeing the end of this story that I've been following nearly since the beginning. This made up such a big chunk of my teenage years, and it's how I made bonds with people that I call very close friends to me nowadays. I'm glad Bungie pulled out and wrote an ending that did my time spent on this god-forsakened-game justice, and I can't help but feel such melancholy over it. Seeing the end to this saga is making me feel all these different emotions and honestly, most of them are good. Going forward, I don't think I'll be revisiting Destiny (after I beat the crazy ass new raid) now that the game I've been following for the past decade is technically over, and honestly, somehow Bungie's best work on Destiny is what gets me to quit the game, and I'm fine with dropping the game forever now.
Y'know, I never thought I'd ever say this, but...
I'm glad to have experienced Destiny.
(Additional Note: Don't buy this for full price as Triple A prices still suck and like unless you're someone who played Destiny for a decade like me, it's most likely not that good for you as it was for me. Wait for a sale, it's still a solid DLC and the raid is pretty damn cool with its 4th encounter.)
But still, I can't help but cry seeing the end of this story that I've been following nearly since the beginning. This made up such a big chunk of my teenage years, and it's how I made bonds with people that I call very close friends to me nowadays. I'm glad Bungie pulled out and wrote an ending that did my time spent on this god-forsakened-game justice, and I can't help but feel such melancholy over it. Seeing the end to this saga is making me feel all these different emotions and honestly, most of them are good. Going forward, I don't think I'll be revisiting Destiny (after I beat the crazy ass new raid) now that the game I've been following for the past decade is technically over, and honestly, somehow Bungie's best work on Destiny is what gets me to quit the game, and I'm fine with dropping the game forever now.
Y'know, I never thought I'd ever say this, but...
I'm glad to have experienced Destiny.
(Additional Note: Don't buy this for full price as Triple A prices still suck and like unless you're someone who played Destiny for a decade like me, it's most likely not that good for you as it was for me. Wait for a sale, it's still a solid DLC and the raid is pretty damn cool with its 4th encounter.)
Stellar Blade
2024
This review contains spoilers
Stellar Blade was one of my most anticipated games, as I had been excited over several years to try this game that seemed perfect for me. The gameplay is undeniably the highlight, offering a fluid, stylish, and satisfying combat system. It reminds me of a mix between Sekiro and Bayonetta, with its parry-focused mechanics and combo potential. That being said, the game ultimately had some disappointments to me, and while it is not necessarily a bad game, it is leaning towards being a mixed bag for me.
Let's start with the positives. The variety and design of enemies are commendable, with over 48 unique types that keep the combat fresh, engaging, and visually impressive. Boss fights in particular are intense and rewarding, pushing you to master the game's abundance of mechanics. The introduction of new combat tools throughout the 20+ hour campaign keeps the action feeling fresh and exhilarating.
The world design is another strong point. The post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting is stunning, with highly detailed environments that showcase the power of the PS5. Exploring these areas is an experience in itself with breathtaking music and hidden collectibles with cosmetic items that add a layer of depth to the journey with Eve.
The soundtrack perfectly complements the gameplay, featuring a mix of electronic and orchestral tracks that enhance both the action and the emotional beats. With around 100 tracks in total, the music is a collaborative effort between Shift Up's in-house team and the acclaimed studio Monaca, led by Nier series composer Keiichi Okabe. Specific tracks like Everglow, Shelter, and The Song of the Sirens are standouts, featuring beautiful vocals and instrumentation.
Boss battle themes like those for the Democrawler and Belial receive special praise from me for their intensity and epic scale, perfectly complementing the impressive visual designs of these encounters. The main themes for the city of Xion and the Wasteland are other memorable pieces once they evolve. The light, emotional tone of many tracks provides a fitting juxtaposition to the dark, post-apocalyptic setting, enhancing the sense of melancholy and beauty amidst the ruin. It's easily one of my favorite game soundtracks in years. I will definitely be keeping it on some playlists.
Despite these strengths, Stellar Blade stumbles significantly in its storytelling and character development. The narrative feels like a poor man's Nier: Automata. It attempts to explore themes of artificial intelligence and human coexistence with existential dread but it falls short. And it doesn't just fall, it trips over itself and faceplants.
The story is predictable, with major plot twists being telegraphed far too early and lacking the impact they should have. The game waits until the last minute to dump most of its lore through long, drawn-out cutscenes, which makes the revelations feel unearned and out of left field. Character development is another major issue. The protagonist, Eve, comes across as emotionless and lacks a compelling arc, making it difficult to connect with her. Supporting characters are equally underdeveloped, with minimal backstory or growth. Adam, who is supposed to be a helpful companion, fails to leave a mark due to his lack of personality and charm. The late-game reveal of his true identity as Raphael Marks, the creator of key elements in the story, feels abrupt and poorly foreshadowed, further diminishing the narrative impact.
The pacing and structure also leave much to be desired. Side quests are repetitive and often involve tedious backtracking with little meaningful reward. Platforming sections are frustrating due to floaty controls and unclear hazard boundaries, which detracts from the overall experience. The upgrade system and RPG elements are poorly explained and balanced, leading to uneven progression that can be frustrating. The game's multiple endings are another point of contention. The ending I received, where Lily died, felt abrupt and unsatisfying, as if it was leading to something more that never came. The requirement to start a New Game+ (due to a lack of multiple saves) to achieve the true ending is frustrating and ultimately led me to delete the game out of disappointment.
Stellar Blade excels in its stylish combat, impressive visuals, immersive atmosphere, and outstanding audio design. Because of the many positives, I decided to go with this score despite how it fails to delivering a proper narrative, well-developed characters, and consistent pacing. Even though it doesn't reach the heights of its inspirations, it's still an enjoyable action game carried by its strengths, making for an intense action gauntlet, especially for Shift Up's first big game. I certainly will try a sequel with proper expectations, but I believe they can take all feedback and make an outstanding sequel one day with a much better story. If you can overlook the narrative shortcomings, the gameplay, graphics and soundtrack alone makes it worth a try.
Let's start with the positives. The variety and design of enemies are commendable, with over 48 unique types that keep the combat fresh, engaging, and visually impressive. Boss fights in particular are intense and rewarding, pushing you to master the game's abundance of mechanics. The introduction of new combat tools throughout the 20+ hour campaign keeps the action feeling fresh and exhilarating.
The world design is another strong point. The post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting is stunning, with highly detailed environments that showcase the power of the PS5. Exploring these areas is an experience in itself with breathtaking music and hidden collectibles with cosmetic items that add a layer of depth to the journey with Eve.
The soundtrack perfectly complements the gameplay, featuring a mix of electronic and orchestral tracks that enhance both the action and the emotional beats. With around 100 tracks in total, the music is a collaborative effort between Shift Up's in-house team and the acclaimed studio Monaca, led by Nier series composer Keiichi Okabe. Specific tracks like Everglow, Shelter, and The Song of the Sirens are standouts, featuring beautiful vocals and instrumentation.
Boss battle themes like those for the Democrawler and Belial receive special praise from me for their intensity and epic scale, perfectly complementing the impressive visual designs of these encounters. The main themes for the city of Xion and the Wasteland are other memorable pieces once they evolve. The light, emotional tone of many tracks provides a fitting juxtaposition to the dark, post-apocalyptic setting, enhancing the sense of melancholy and beauty amidst the ruin. It's easily one of my favorite game soundtracks in years. I will definitely be keeping it on some playlists.
Despite these strengths, Stellar Blade stumbles significantly in its storytelling and character development. The narrative feels like a poor man's Nier: Automata. It attempts to explore themes of artificial intelligence and human coexistence with existential dread but it falls short. And it doesn't just fall, it trips over itself and faceplants.
The story is predictable, with major plot twists being telegraphed far too early and lacking the impact they should have. The game waits until the last minute to dump most of its lore through long, drawn-out cutscenes, which makes the revelations feel unearned and out of left field. Character development is another major issue. The protagonist, Eve, comes across as emotionless and lacks a compelling arc, making it difficult to connect with her. Supporting characters are equally underdeveloped, with minimal backstory or growth. Adam, who is supposed to be a helpful companion, fails to leave a mark due to his lack of personality and charm. The late-game reveal of his true identity as Raphael Marks, the creator of key elements in the story, feels abrupt and poorly foreshadowed, further diminishing the narrative impact.
The pacing and structure also leave much to be desired. Side quests are repetitive and often involve tedious backtracking with little meaningful reward. Platforming sections are frustrating due to floaty controls and unclear hazard boundaries, which detracts from the overall experience. The upgrade system and RPG elements are poorly explained and balanced, leading to uneven progression that can be frustrating. The game's multiple endings are another point of contention. The ending I received, where Lily died, felt abrupt and unsatisfying, as if it was leading to something more that never came. The requirement to start a New Game+ (due to a lack of multiple saves) to achieve the true ending is frustrating and ultimately led me to delete the game out of disappointment.
Stellar Blade excels in its stylish combat, impressive visuals, immersive atmosphere, and outstanding audio design. Because of the many positives, I decided to go with this score despite how it fails to delivering a proper narrative, well-developed characters, and consistent pacing. Even though it doesn't reach the heights of its inspirations, it's still an enjoyable action game carried by its strengths, making for an intense action gauntlet, especially for Shift Up's first big game. I certainly will try a sequel with proper expectations, but I believe they can take all feedback and make an outstanding sequel one day with a much better story. If you can overlook the narrative shortcomings, the gameplay, graphics and soundtrack alone makes it worth a try.
Dragon's Dogma II
2024
(Review based on ~20 hours spent getting the true ending, did not do too much side stuff)
I admired Dragon's Dogma II more than I loved it. The parts that everyone says are great -- the silliness of your Pawns, the intelligent semi-autonomous behavior of your party, the unpredictability of encounters, the crawling on big monsters -- make for a game that is very fun and cool and largely unlike anything else out there.
Everything around the edges nearly sinks the game: Bad framerate (on a PS5), flimsy story and main questline, poor loot distribution (everything I have ever needed was in a shop), obscure quests with non-intuitive solutions, horrendous stamina, and relatively few enemy types. I might do a second playthrough someday (maybe when DLC comes out), but I left my time ready for it to be over. Is it cool? Yes. Do the pros outweigh the cons? I would argue they don't for most players I would recommend a game like this to.
I admired Dragon's Dogma II more than I loved it. The parts that everyone says are great -- the silliness of your Pawns, the intelligent semi-autonomous behavior of your party, the unpredictability of encounters, the crawling on big monsters -- make for a game that is very fun and cool and largely unlike anything else out there.
Everything around the edges nearly sinks the game: Bad framerate (on a PS5), flimsy story and main questline, poor loot distribution (everything I have ever needed was in a shop), obscure quests with non-intuitive solutions, horrendous stamina, and relatively few enemy types. I might do a second playthrough someday (maybe when DLC comes out), but I left my time ready for it to be over. Is it cool? Yes. Do the pros outweigh the cons? I would argue they don't for most players I would recommend a game like this to.
Persona 3 Reload
2024
As somebody who is intensely afraid of death, many of the struggles the characters faced and the overarching conflict really resonated with me. It has been difficult to pull myself away from this game for the last few weeks.
I absolutely adored how the game presents its main objective; For the first few months your goal is beating the 12 shadows. Simple enough, and you just wanna get through all of that and bring peace to the world as quickly as possible. But then you get to December, and learn the real nature of what lies ahead. Suddenly, the passage of time is dreadful, and all you want is to relish in the last few moments you have left with your friends. It perfectly captures how it feels to grow up in your late teenage years, and I think that’s what I found most compelling about this game.
I absolutely adored how the game presents its main objective; For the first few months your goal is beating the 12 shadows. Simple enough, and you just wanna get through all of that and bring peace to the world as quickly as possible. But then you get to December, and learn the real nature of what lies ahead. Suddenly, the passage of time is dreadful, and all you want is to relish in the last few moments you have left with your friends. It perfectly captures how it feels to grow up in your late teenage years, and I think that’s what I found most compelling about this game.
Here we go..
This whole playthrough was culminating to this very moment and was the main focus, despite playing through this game many times I had never actually played through this expansion ever so it was a first for me. Once I got a good bit into Lonesome road I had realized it was given off a unusual type of experience for a Fallout expansion and that was feeling like a point A to point B type of linear quests and story.
This story and lore with this is very dynamic, that being said it is kind of a trade off if you play the full version of new vegas with this one. On one hand you can play through a lot of the Mojave doing many quests and building reputations with certain factions and other things with a higher level and you get to see how the other courier reacts to your past endeavors which caught me off guard and grabbed my full attention! On the other hand though, you can do this expansion early on and get all the cool weapons and armor which will help you out a lot through the main game if you can tough it out with fighting many challenging enemies including multiple deathclaws..Yikes...
A fitting end to the story of the courier which makes me think it would be a neat idea to be able to finish the game from this point which seems kinda like what they were going for with how it ends in my opinion.
Bonus points for that Futurama Wild Wasteland easter egg as well! What a game this one is!!! Still holds up as gracefully as ever.
This whole playthrough was culminating to this very moment and was the main focus, despite playing through this game many times I had never actually played through this expansion ever so it was a first for me. Once I got a good bit into Lonesome road I had realized it was given off a unusual type of experience for a Fallout expansion and that was feeling like a point A to point B type of linear quests and story.
This story and lore with this is very dynamic, that being said it is kind of a trade off if you play the full version of new vegas with this one. On one hand you can play through a lot of the Mojave doing many quests and building reputations with certain factions and other things with a higher level and you get to see how the other courier reacts to your past endeavors which caught me off guard and grabbed my full attention! On the other hand though, you can do this expansion early on and get all the cool weapons and armor which will help you out a lot through the main game if you can tough it out with fighting many challenging enemies including multiple deathclaws..Yikes...
A fitting end to the story of the courier which makes me think it would be a neat idea to be able to finish the game from this point which seems kinda like what they were going for with how it ends in my opinion.
Bonus points for that Futurama Wild Wasteland easter egg as well! What a game this one is!!! Still holds up as gracefully as ever.
This one to me always stood out as way more out there and bizarre than way other recent expansions. One of the reasons I hold this and 3 at a much higher regard than Fallout 4/76. The story and dialogue gets pretty crazy and comedic and exploring the big MT is nice and this one really rewards exploration with lots of new weapons and armor to find. The stealth suit MK II was just like the assassin suit from dead money, but became super annoying once it would keep repeating the same dialogue over and over. I get what they were trying to do, but kinda backfired lol. I did not do all the side quests, but the ones I did were pretty interesting and fitted right into my science build I was doing. One of the biggest issues I ran into was I had never had my game crash until starting this expansion and I could replicate the same crash unknowingly over and over again by looking in certain containers or picking up certain items at a certain time. Besides that a pretty nice expansion!
MultiVersus
2022
I really wanted to like this game I really did but the combination of the dead silence for 2 years and announcing a banana as a playable character really made the comeback of this game very uncertain. I played the last private and open beta of this game and I enjoyed it but I had various problems that made me not enjoy the game which the developers seemed to have taken into account and made it worse tenfold. I feel the way the battle pass is structured feels counter intuitive to being rewarded for playing as the quests with you want to complete them all you need to play a specific way that might not end up being fun and end up being a tedious chore to play through the pve "content" feels like a worse world of light as it's just tanky bosses and requirements that might be paywalled/grind locked by characters and that's not saying how the combat pace has changed with the "full release" of the game. The gameplay combined with the servers held up by duck tape makes the gameplay feels sluggish in comparison and makes it a very unfun experience.
Got this game on Wii U 3 years ago. Hardly played it then, but I’m still glad I got it before the virtual shop closed down. Since I recently beat the original Metroid, it was super interesting to see how this remake compared.
In some ways, it’s similar, in most ways unrecognisable. There are a couple of rooms that are pretty 1:1. The general shape of the map is the same, but there are new mechanics, entirely different rooms, more items, and a lot of the padding was cut. All bosses were heavily reworked and there are even new ones. Plus, an entirely additional final hour to the game. There are some good small tweaks like enemies not sniping you with their spawns or going through loading doors.
Most significantly I noticed how incredibly fluid movement and aiming is in this game. You can aim in so many more directions, and it no longer feels like your jumps are at the behest of moon gravity. Definitely one of my favourite ‘game-feels’ for a Metroidvania I’ve played. It makes the enemies actually fun to fight.
And thank god, they’ve added a map (and map rooms that fill out unexplored chunks). However, coupled with the objective markers, sometimes it felt less like exploring and more like going in the direction the game told me too. But there are plenty of (much better telegraphed) secret rooms you can find, and a slight amount of choosing your own route.
When you consider how much was changed or added, I find it kind of ridiculous that Tourian was made harder (even if you get a new save point). The Metroids and the platforming escape are made harder to deal with. And seriously, whose idea was it to make the fuckass Mother Brain bullet hell worse? Hands down the worst part of the game for me. Without suspension points I wouldn’t have the patience to beat it.
The added finale works pretty well, the stealth part almost feels scripted because of how well communicated the level design is. Although it did feel a bit dragged out and could benefit from being a bit shorter. Getting a powered up suit afterwards feels great though. And the actual final boss is pretty good.
Soundtrack is a nice recomposition, and the added story elements/cutscenes give interesting depth they couldn’t fit into the original.
Overall, it’s a good starter Metroid game because it’s a more linear stroll in the park with some pretty fun gameplay.
In some ways, it’s similar, in most ways unrecognisable. There are a couple of rooms that are pretty 1:1. The general shape of the map is the same, but there are new mechanics, entirely different rooms, more items, and a lot of the padding was cut. All bosses were heavily reworked and there are even new ones. Plus, an entirely additional final hour to the game. There are some good small tweaks like enemies not sniping you with their spawns or going through loading doors.
Most significantly I noticed how incredibly fluid movement and aiming is in this game. You can aim in so many more directions, and it no longer feels like your jumps are at the behest of moon gravity. Definitely one of my favourite ‘game-feels’ for a Metroidvania I’ve played. It makes the enemies actually fun to fight.
And thank god, they’ve added a map (and map rooms that fill out unexplored chunks). However, coupled with the objective markers, sometimes it felt less like exploring and more like going in the direction the game told me too. But there are plenty of (much better telegraphed) secret rooms you can find, and a slight amount of choosing your own route.
When you consider how much was changed or added, I find it kind of ridiculous that Tourian was made harder (even if you get a new save point). The Metroids and the platforming escape are made harder to deal with. And seriously, whose idea was it to make the fuckass Mother Brain bullet hell worse? Hands down the worst part of the game for me. Without suspension points I wouldn’t have the patience to beat it.
The added finale works pretty well, the stealth part almost feels scripted because of how well communicated the level design is. Although it did feel a bit dragged out and could benefit from being a bit shorter. Getting a powered up suit afterwards feels great though. And the actual final boss is pretty good.
Soundtrack is a nice recomposition, and the added story elements/cutscenes give interesting depth they couldn’t fit into the original.
Overall, it’s a good starter Metroid game because it’s a more linear stroll in the park with some pretty fun gameplay.
Final Fantasy XVI
2023
Imma just say im a asshole before i start so like yeah this game got me into final fantasy and also simultaneously made me not consider myself a fan nor associate with them cus I genuinely dont understand how you play this game and 1 complain and say how you prefer the old turn based more too this shit like I get opinions and shit but imma be that guy and say thats fucking stupid and if genuinely believe the franchise is better off sticking to the same old shit atb system that lets be honest never even felt good to begin with is insane to me man I don't understand well I kinda do since now I know they hate anything not related to seven but still i can't comprehend it man I hate people final fantasy fans deserve less genuinely I have the same problem with them as I do with fnaf fans but I'm starting to sound retarded so imma stop hating now anyway the actual game imma start off with the shit i dont like uhh I dont like how theres only 1 alternative costume for the squad uhh I hate how slow it is to navigate everything and those fuckass chochbos or however you spell that doesn't really help it like doesn't take long to like call and hop on em but still like does ion know how to explain maybe I'm just autistic uhh the sidequests are kinda mid and slow especially if you don't really fw the characters or story but like I do heavy so it was never really a problem for me and I just kinda accepted that and I personally looked at it as slow in a good way since the main missions and especially the eikons more than make up how boring the sidequests but they lowkey kinda made the other missions kinda better because of that like everything else felt more like treat for suffering through helping gordick help pooplop with his dishes so yeah I'm not including the hunt tho they were great (if you had a YouTube guide like deadass how tf you supposed to find any of those) and uh I wish Dion had more scenes ig I like him he's my fav character and yes its because hes gay fuck you and yeah that's bout it other than the fact that the game runs like ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT LIKE CONSISTENTLY OTS CRAZY but like searched it up and apparently my ps5 dusty so uhh 😐 anyway yeah I love everything else in this game like deadass got me back into games and made me view games as art again like all Imma say is "titan lost" like holy fuck man if I could like eat a video game sequence it would be that and lowkey replaying the game I like bahumet just as much if not more like my first playthrough forever had Joshua saying he'll burn the world stuck in my head bro dions tuff af and I think this is the only final fantasy game that deserves to drop the title like imma be that guy again I think this the best final fantasy will be and will forever stay that way but ay it is what it is uhh to end off I think clives also the best protag in like all of fiction unlike clouds bitch ass (in the original he's way better in the remake since he actually has a character full offense to the original) and I stand by that just wish he wasn't British but we can't have everything 10/10