Hey Elon Musk, I know your fucking nerd fans love that you used JC Denton on twitter as a profile pic, but the one most likely to be a part of an evil organization of rich assholes running the world is you, you fucking fascist billionaire. Fuck Elon Musk.


Also good game, fun times with soy food and cybernetics.

EDIT: this review is funnier after the whole twitter thing. I’m glad that pompous dickhead is finally getting publicly humiliated so thoroughly.

"Life isn’t just about passing on your genes. We can leave behind much more than just DNA. Through speech, music, literature and movies... what we’ve seen, heard, felt anger, joy and sorrow, these are the things I will pass on. That’s what I live for. We need to pass the torch, and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light. We have the magic of the digital age to do that with. The human race will probably come to an end some time, and new species may rule over this planet. Earth may not be forever, but we still have the responsibility to leave what trace of life we can. Building the future and keeping the past alive are one in the same thing."

I played this game at the perfect time in my life. Having trouble finding the words to explain how I feel about this but i’m hoping i’ll be able to whenever I decide to replay it down the line, which probably won’t take long. I don’t think i’ve fell in love with a game quite as fast as I have with this though.

Ah, Sons of Liberty. One of the most noteworthy titles of the sixth console generation, a top contender for the majority of the fanbase’s favorite entry in the entire series, and nigh universally considered to rank among the best games ever made. Oddly enough, it might also be the perfect litmus test to determine whether the larger scope of what the Metal Gear franchise has to offer is for you or not. Y’see, there’s a small group of people out there who, despite loving the first Solid, found this to be the point where the property as a whole simply stopped being for them. Their reasoning? The writing. 

While critically acclaimed and its most direct predecessor not exactly shying away from going over the top itself, the storytelling does take a turn for the excessively gonzo in this follow-up and it’s not like the plotting in subsequent releases got any less polarizing from here on that front. You fight immortal vampires who can walk on water, people get possessed by ghosts lingering in transplanted limbs, and there’s a subplot involving a certain otaku hacker that feels like something out of a bad stepson/bro porno. Really reveals how ridiculous all those complaints about the Matrix-style antics in the cutscenes of The Twin Snakes are. I mean, this literally opens with Snake doing a backflip somersault off of the George Washington Bridge to land on a tanker passing underneath. So yeah, that remake isn’t exactly the tonal anomaly its detractors claim it to be…

The tale is ultimately redeemed for many by the strength of its deep, poignant thematic material, which covers topics such as censorship, misinformation, and governmental attempts to use both to control public opinion in the digital age. Stuff that has only gotten more relevant as the years have gone by, but personally aren’t enough to keep me from counting myself among the portion of players who view SoL as the point where the narrative first seriously jumped the shark. And this is coming from someone who is more forgiving of the most heavily criticized elements than the majority of others typically are. The disdain for Raiden as the protagonist because he’s “weak” and “whiny,” for example? I totally don’t buy into it all. The guy is pretty likable and it’s hard to think of him as a wimp just because he’s inexperienced when he still manages to kick an insane amount of butt by the time the credits roll. Not to mention his inclusion makes the overall world of Metal Gear feel more expansive in a cool way. Honestly, I imagine part of the hate (outside of the general anger at a lack of Snake) is simply misplaced frustration at his girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I actually understand why she’s having trouble with aspects of their relationship, but could she legit have not found a better opportunity to constantly pester him about it than right when he’s in the middle of trying to rescue the President from a group of terrorists?

It’s a shame that the utterly outlandish qualities and willingness of the characters to dive into every little detail of their personal dramas at inappropriate moments causes the plot to come up short considering what a huge element of the brand that is. It’s not enough for me to turn my back on the title as a whole however, as it’s hard to fault the actual gameplay much. I’m someone who prefers to play stealth games aggressively taking out guards before they’re aware of my presence rather than waiting around to memorize the blind spots in their patrol patterns, particularly in offerings like this one where you’re regularly required to revisit prior locations, so additions such as first-person aiming are a godsend! Kojima even managed to give you the tools for an effective offense without compromising the underlying motif introduced in this outing of pacifism that encourages the player to resolve situations non-lethally and would become a staple moving forward. A variety of systems and items were created here that make it completely possible to avoid killing anyone, including the bosses (not that it has any affect on their fate already predetermined by the script though).

I also just love the new setting! It may not have the personality or atmosphere of Shadow Moses, but its layout is a massive improvement. Admittedly, that is because they sort of took the easy route of making it basically one big circle. Yet, I’ll accept that as it severely reduces the tedium of backtracking and the sheer variety of one-off scenarios you’ll encounter prevent the surroundings of the adventure from ever coming off as simplistic or repetitive. If you look back at prior Metal Gears up to this point, you’ll notice a cycle of Kojima taking previous set pieces and recreating them with refinements and at a grander scale. Something he does in Solid 2 to a degree as well, but evidently the gaming auteur realized there wasn’t much else he could do differently with those old ideas so he started finally cooking up fresh concepts à la underwater swimming areas and thrilling sniper sections where you provide cover for a moving ally that kept me enthralled in the moment-to-moment action.

This captures almost perfectly how I’ve always wanted a Metal Gear to play, right down to little touches like the map that pops up on the pause screen. You may find the overall yarn encapsulating the highly enjoyable interactive portion of the package to be exasperating to the degree that it effectively dashes your enthusiasm for the rest of experience entirely the way a minority of players have. Especially since it becomes borderline unintelligible in the final act and it director’s penchant for lengthy cinematics/codec calls mean you’ll be sitting through extended stretches of it. I’m not saying there aren’t still those classic MG segments that will leave you wondering whether or not their creator is some kind of sadist either (that darn shell 1-2 connecting bridge…). Those otherwise serious faults end up turning into quibbles when faced with the fine tuning of the mechanics and plethora of excellent QoL features though. Earning Sons of Liberty a well-deserved seat alongside the crème de la crème of the stealth-action tactical espionage action genre. In my eyes at least.

9/10

After 10 years I'm starting to think the fact that a serial abuser, four groomers/pedos, an e-beggar, an alt-right chud, and two actual sociopaths in my life all loved osu! might not be a coincidence.

Also when I watched some official osu! tournament in like 2013-2014 on Twitch, the presenter accidentally went to their desktop and the background was some loli in a bikini so there's that. I guess that's not very surprising though since every other map has scantily-clad lolis as the background.

At least I had fun for the thousands of hours I put into this oh wait no I didn't, good riddance, give me back 250GB+ of hard drive space on your way out