Katiopeia
1995
One of the most hilarious games I have ever played. The opening is one of the most epic and absurd intros to any video game in history. Who could hate this? It's hysterical.
Bill Clinton is hands down history's greatest Chinese leader.
"Chin, I saw you in the bathhouse and I knew that you were the man for the job!"
Bill Clinton is hands down history's greatest Chinese leader.
"Chin, I saw you in the bathhouse and I knew that you were the man for the job!"
2013
This is one of the worst PS4 games I have ever played, it's simply dreadful. I am baffled how this game even released. I borrowed this game from a friend and I still feel like I've been ripped off.
For starters the game is atrociously optimized. Frame drops galore, the world taking up to 30 seconds to load in, insane amounts of lag, random crashes and disconnects, awkward menu controls that are really awful if you are in the heat of combat (hell it can take at least 30 seconds just to reload your gun if you don't have more than one magazine), and the bugs, my god, the bugs. There is a barrage of glitches, like not being able to pick up items, falling through the map, getting stuck on doors, buggy melee combat, getting stuck on zombies, broken hit registration, and inventory bugs.
Even if you get past most of these issues, the game is still practically impossible to play anyway because every server has been looted to high hell. I can't tell you just how many times my character has died of hunger because there is never any food, or any other supplies to help me get anywhere. How does the game expect you to make any progress when you can't get the supplies you need to survive? It's hard just trying to survive for more than 20 minutes because of this and it is just aggravating.
You drop into a server, there's no loot anywhere, so then you just run around for 20-30 minutes not finding a goddamn thing and then you'll die of starvation, the game just turns into a walking simulator. Unless if you partner up with someone to help you, but considering how valuable loot is in this game and the nature of the game itself, everyone just kills each other on sight. There is no such thing as teamwork unless if you play with friends. I've went into at least 30 different servers and I'm always in the same scenario.
And speaking of playing with friends, there is no map screen to help you navigate. I understand this is supposed to be a survival game, but if you are a new player, how in the holy mother of shit are you supposed to know where you are at all times? Especially since the map is incredibly big, too big for its own good. You'll just be wandering around aimlessly like a cockroach without its head. I get that learning the map might seem appealing, but without such basic gameplay features to help you navigate, how are you supposed to meet up with your friends?? Playing with friends is the only reason why I even picked up the game in the first place. How about some friend markers? How about a compass on the screen at all times? Nothing?? God, this game just punishes new players and discourages working with others. Oh right, I have to download a goddamn mobile app that gives me a real life map when it could have just been provided in the game itself, and I also need it because all of the text is in Russian and I can't read it, rather than just having English text pop up on screen in when I reach a town. Joyful..
There are PvP Community servers that you can play in, but it's very rare to find a server that has decent loot refreshes. There have also been at least three instances where my game crashes while I'm standing next to a zombie, and since it takes up to 15 seconds for your character to actually disappear from the server, the zombie kills me and I lose all of my loot. The last time it happened I literally screamed and dropped the game completely. So even when I play in PvP servers, the only time that I actually have fun in the game, the game is like "fuck your fun, now die."
And the Official servers take up to 45 days to refresh the loot drops, which is WAY too long. By the time it's been a week or two, all the servers will have been looted and nothing can ever be found aside from clothing items. Rinse and repeat.
You can rent your own private Community servers for a monthly fee, I believe it's $18. So players are expected to pay more money on top of a game they already payed $50 for just so they can actually PLAY the game?? Go to hell.
So overall this game is the equivalent of highway robbery. Why Sony approved of the sale of this game on their store is one thing, but the fact that it's a port of a PC game from 6 years ago that's being sold for $50 when it's clearly not finished is just insulting. It is truly disgusting and thinking about it makes me nauseous. The game has a great concept but is executed in the worst ways possible. I have better chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse in real life and spotting a group of UFOs in the process. It is awe inspiring just how poorly programmed and incompetently designed this game is, it's giving me Fallout 76 deja vu.
For starters the game is atrociously optimized. Frame drops galore, the world taking up to 30 seconds to load in, insane amounts of lag, random crashes and disconnects, awkward menu controls that are really awful if you are in the heat of combat (hell it can take at least 30 seconds just to reload your gun if you don't have more than one magazine), and the bugs, my god, the bugs. There is a barrage of glitches, like not being able to pick up items, falling through the map, getting stuck on doors, buggy melee combat, getting stuck on zombies, broken hit registration, and inventory bugs.
Even if you get past most of these issues, the game is still practically impossible to play anyway because every server has been looted to high hell. I can't tell you just how many times my character has died of hunger because there is never any food, or any other supplies to help me get anywhere. How does the game expect you to make any progress when you can't get the supplies you need to survive? It's hard just trying to survive for more than 20 minutes because of this and it is just aggravating.
You drop into a server, there's no loot anywhere, so then you just run around for 20-30 minutes not finding a goddamn thing and then you'll die of starvation, the game just turns into a walking simulator. Unless if you partner up with someone to help you, but considering how valuable loot is in this game and the nature of the game itself, everyone just kills each other on sight. There is no such thing as teamwork unless if you play with friends. I've went into at least 30 different servers and I'm always in the same scenario.
And speaking of playing with friends, there is no map screen to help you navigate. I understand this is supposed to be a survival game, but if you are a new player, how in the holy mother of shit are you supposed to know where you are at all times? Especially since the map is incredibly big, too big for its own good. You'll just be wandering around aimlessly like a cockroach without its head. I get that learning the map might seem appealing, but without such basic gameplay features to help you navigate, how are you supposed to meet up with your friends?? Playing with friends is the only reason why I even picked up the game in the first place. How about some friend markers? How about a compass on the screen at all times? Nothing?? God, this game just punishes new players and discourages working with others. Oh right, I have to download a goddamn mobile app that gives me a real life map when it could have just been provided in the game itself, and I also need it because all of the text is in Russian and I can't read it, rather than just having English text pop up on screen in when I reach a town. Joyful..
There are PvP Community servers that you can play in, but it's very rare to find a server that has decent loot refreshes. There have also been at least three instances where my game crashes while I'm standing next to a zombie, and since it takes up to 15 seconds for your character to actually disappear from the server, the zombie kills me and I lose all of my loot. The last time it happened I literally screamed and dropped the game completely. So even when I play in PvP servers, the only time that I actually have fun in the game, the game is like "fuck your fun, now die."
And the Official servers take up to 45 days to refresh the loot drops, which is WAY too long. By the time it's been a week or two, all the servers will have been looted and nothing can ever be found aside from clothing items. Rinse and repeat.
You can rent your own private Community servers for a monthly fee, I believe it's $18. So players are expected to pay more money on top of a game they already payed $50 for just so they can actually PLAY the game?? Go to hell.
So overall this game is the equivalent of highway robbery. Why Sony approved of the sale of this game on their store is one thing, but the fact that it's a port of a PC game from 6 years ago that's being sold for $50 when it's clearly not finished is just insulting. It is truly disgusting and thinking about it makes me nauseous. The game has a great concept but is executed in the worst ways possible. I have better chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse in real life and spotting a group of UFOs in the process. It is awe inspiring just how poorly programmed and incompetently designed this game is, it's giving me Fallout 76 deja vu.
2004
When you think of the 90s, you think of the Console Wars and lots of gross-out humor in entertainment, even more so than nowadays.
This game is not only gross but it's a tech-demo made for the Genesis in 2004... a whole 7 seven years after the console was discontinued.
The demo was created in Venezuela. That would mean that this is the definitive Venezuelan bus simulator.
What makes this game so astounding is that there are literally three things you can do: you can drive forwards and honk your horn, BUT, you can also drive backwards. Yeah, eat your heart out, Desert Bus.
And if that wasn't enough, just listen to this amazing title screen music!
https://youtu.be/sC0cvwnG0Ik
This game is not only gross but it's a tech-demo made for the Genesis in 2004... a whole 7 seven years after the console was discontinued.
The demo was created in Venezuela. That would mean that this is the definitive Venezuelan bus simulator.
What makes this game so astounding is that there are literally three things you can do: you can drive forwards and honk your horn, BUT, you can also drive backwards. Yeah, eat your heart out, Desert Bus.
And if that wasn't enough, just listen to this amazing title screen music!
https://youtu.be/sC0cvwnG0Ik
I only played this game to show my friends that I got the platinum trophy for it, so that they're amazed that I even played this shit in the first place. It only took 10-15 minutes. At least I didn't pay for it. winky face
2000
This game marked both the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. It's the last single digit entry in the main series, it's the last main entry on the original PlayStation, and it was the last game to be conceived and written by series creator Hironobu Sakaguchi. But damn does he go out with a bang with this game.
While Final Fantasy VII and VIII had adopted sci-fi steampunk worlds, Final Fantasy IX goes back to form with a medival fantasy setting. If you've played Final Fantasy I-VI, FFIX will make you feel right at home, as it's the ideal view of what Final Fantasy truly is. Not only does it stay consistent with the tone of the FF games from the NES and SNES era, but it's hand-fisted with references to those past games, which are a real pleasure to see.
[STORY]
Do not let those cutesy character designs fool you. This is one of the darkest games in the series, and it portrays some of the greatest character development the series has to offer. This results in a cast of characters that feel like real, relatable people despite having such mythical and rather silly designs, which is a testament to how much care was put into them. I absolutely love this cast, one of the best in this franchise.
Kuja (the main villain) is one of the most realized characters, but seriously, WTF is he wearing?? Is it a man thong? Is it some sort of medival sports bra? I have no idea, but damn is he a badass villain. And by the end of the game I actually felt sympathetic towards him.
The themes of this game mostly revolve around death and coming to terms with your identity, the cycle of life. It's a moving story about one's existence and their purpose in life, something that everyone in the party has pondered about at least once in their lives, and how their mortality is of great importance.
Why am I here?
What does death feel like? Where do we go after we die?
What reasons do we have to live on the planet? And where do I belong?
These are the questions the game dives into, and while this sounds very dated by today's standards, remember that this game came out 20 years ago. I still think it holds up strongly today. More people die in this game than any other FF game I've played, except Final Fantasy VI. Again, this game is pretty dark despite the characters looking so weird. Death is a recurring theme, it's what brings the story from beginning to end.
There's also a central game mechanic called Active Time, where when Zidane is split up from other characters, you get to see what they are up to at certain times for even more character development.
Of course for the first time, you won't fully understand the story without doing some research, but when you do, you'll realize just how complex the story really is.
Vivi, more than anyone else in this game, is the character that resonates with this theme the most, and I'm sure many others will agree with that. His character arc and his growth throughout, going from a weak and fearful child who hated the very thought of death, to a confident, determined young man who lives his life to the fullest and with purpose, makes him not only my favorite character in FFIX, but my favorite character in ALL of Final Fantasy. I was only 13 when I played this game for the first time, but damn, watching Vivi's resolution at the end of the game made me cry my ass off.
This isn't to say the game is entirely bleak. It does have a lot of light-hearted, wholesome, and funny moments. The sense of humor in this game is so damn charming and memorable. This game made me both laugh and cry. It has a perfect balance between its humor and character-driven moments.
This is one of those games that you come back to mainly because of how timeless it is, not just because of gameplay, but because of one very important thing: Characterization. It's very clear that Square wanted to create believable people that you really want to care about and root for. Character development is one of the biggest factors to this game, it's not Final Fantasy VI levels of developed, but it's pretty close.
[PRESENTATION]
Even today, this game's presentation holds up really well. It's the best looking FF game on the PS1, in fact, it's one of the best looking PS1 games, period. The FMV cutscenes are beautiful and hold up even to this day. The character designs are definitely the most odd looking ones in the series, but that's what makes the game stand out. The attention to detail is exquisite and the world is very colorful. And the pre-rendered backgrounds are among the best on the PS1.
[MUSIC]
I honestly can't stress it enough, the soundtrack to this game is in a master class of its own, some of the greatest music ever produced in video games. FFIX's soundtrack is my 2nd favorite in the FF series, my first being FFVI. This is some of Nobuo Uematsu's greatest work.
There are so few composers in this industry whose music have left as much of an impact as his did. The lack of voice acting in FFIX meant that not only the dialogue, but the music was used to define the tone and characters in the game and it works wonders.
The music is what adds the most amount of spirit in these older FF games. Some of my favorite songs in all of gaming are in this game. I can't think of a single track that I actually dislike. It adds to the charm, uniqueness, and personality of the game. Nearly every melody is memorable, and the instrumentals used makes the soundtrack truly brilliant. I also can't tell you just how many times I listened to the battle theme and You're Not Alone religiously. So much so that it would be embarrassing to admit. FFIX has the best battle theme in the series, in fact, it might be my favorite battle theme in all of gaming. Melodies of Life is also my all time favorite vocal performance in the FF series.
Orchestra, and the use of piano, flute, kazoo, dulcimer, castanets, drums, bass, as well as motifs from older Final Fantasy games, makes the soundtrack an absolutely nostalgic masterpiece. The music defines at least half of Final Fantasy IX.
[GAMEPLAY]
While I really like Junctions from FFVIII in how complex it is, FFIX's simplicity in its mechanics are still enjoyable. Like with the story, FFIX goes back to form with its gameplay; Four character battles, characters with class specific roles, with traditional equipment and abilities.
Final Fantasy VII and VIII had this problem where everyone is able to learn the same magic spells and abilities, which can make them all feel the same, the only differences between each other being their Limit Breaks. Not to mention there were too many easy ways to get out of fights. But in Final Fantasy IX, each character have specific roles and the difficulty of battles have been ramped up.
Vivi being a Black Mage, the only party member who can cast Black Magic, Zidane being a Thief who can steal items, Eiko and Garnet being both White Mages/Summoners, Freya who is a Dragoon, Quina who...eats enemies to learn Blue Magic, yeah don't ask. Also is it a he or a she? Does no one to this day still not know??
And Steiner, oh my god, Steiner, a Knight that can use Sword skills and team up with Vivi to unleash sword spell attacks that deal massive damage. He also does like five times more damage while in Trance. Did they test Steiner during development? Because he is simply overpowered. He is incredible, easily one of the party members to have in battle.
On the other hand, Amarant can stay the hell out of my party. Seriously, have any of you ever used Amarant other than in key points in the game? Goddamn is he almost useless. All of his attacks are really weak compared to others.
This game does get challenging. FFIX isn't a hard game, but FFVII and VIII had battles that were just too easy. FFIX has much more panic inducing, tense moments in the battles, and has a much stronger emphasis on strategy, which is a very welcome change.
In this game, equipment is what teaches the characters their abilities, which is further complimented by the balance of battles. Ozma, the superboss of the game, is hands down the hardest optional superboss in the series. And the final boss Necron is no pushover either. I'd say Necron is one of the toughest final bosses. And the music that plays during that fight freaked me out when I was a teenager.
Typically in past games, you would sell equipment that you didn't need anymore because you got new equipment with higher stats. But in this game, almost every piece of equipment is important, because elemental properties play a much larger role. So even if you have equipment that have "lower stats", it's still important to hold onto it if it's capable of boosting your elemental offense and defense. The benefits of elemental defense boosting far outweigh the benefits of a higher Defense or Magic Defense stat. Also, you can get exclusive weapons and armor at Synthesis Shops, which require previously obtained equipment, so again, hold onto equipment even if you don't use it anymore.
All of this combined is what makes battling in FFIX so fun and rewarding. Battles feel fresh because of this. A sense of challenge that hadn't been felt since Final Fantasy VI. Though I still do have a couple gripes.
One thing I don't like about the battles is how slow they are. Even if I turn the ATB speed all the way up, it's soooooo slooooow, easily the slowest out of all the other games. And while you can get an ability that boosts the speed of the ATB gauge, you don't get that until at least halfway into the game, and it's missable during one part in Disc 2. You won't get it again until Disc 3 or 4. So early on in the game the battles can really drag.
I also don't like the Trance mechanic. Trances are basically Limit Breaks in FFIX but with a twist. Taking damage will fill up a red bar, when it's full, characters can go into Trance. Instead of it being a one use attack like in FFVII and VIII, instead it boosts the characters stats for several turns and the characters can use exclusive attacks that replace certain battle commands.
However what ruins the potential of it is when the bar is full, the Trance activates automatically. This makes it incredibly difficult to use them strategically. They can't be saved from one battle to the next, the transformation takes a while, and it can't be skipped. All of this makes Trance more of a pain in the ass than something game changing and useful. Luckily the balance of the battles make up for this.
So about side content, it's very hit and miss for me. I've heard a ton of people complain about the card game tournament in Treno. Yeah, I don't like Tetra Master either, and I still think that it's bullshit that the developers took something that was originally a minigame and made it mandatory to progress through the story.
Even to this day, I still don't understand how Tetra Master works. Even if you have a card that is technically stronger than your opponent's, it's still possible to lose, so it's completely random. That is total bullshit. Even so, I didn't have as much of a hard time as what others were saying about the card tournament. All I do is just select random cards and mash buttons until I do win. It's definitely not impossible.
If I lost too many times I would just reset. And after I win one round I just go to a moogle and save my game. This is important because the third and final round only gives you one chance to win. And if you do win, you get the Rebirth Ring which teaches every character the Auto-Life ability. This is the earliest point in the game you can obtain it.
Final Fantasy VIII's Triple Triad is way better designed, it's completely optional, and you get some amazing rewards for playing it. But Tetra Master? It sucks ass through a bendy straw.
Now that I think about it, pretty much every piece of side content relies on RNG. The Chocobo side quest is better but it can still be tedious because it relies on RNG to give rewards to the player. And if you wanna fight Ozma, you have to turn your chocobo into a golden one, by finding Chocographs. Chocographs are items that are used to find treasures containing exclusive loot.
You get these by playing a minigame called Chocobo Hot and Cold. There is no skill involved, you just mash the Square button to dig into the ground in certain areas until you find the item that you're looking for, which is just repetitive and it drags a lot. This type of randomness plagues a lot of RPGs, but if this doesn't bother you, then all the power to you. However the rewards you get for obtaining the Chocographs and finding the treasures are amazing, some of the best in the game, like Zidane's and Garnet + Eiko's ultimate weapons.
The Mognet side quest is also hit and miss because it involves delivering mail from one moogle to the next. It's actually possible to miss certain moogles which will prevent you from fully completing the side quest. I've never completed it myself and frankly I never cared about completing it anyway, the payoff is nowhere near as good as Chocobo treasure hunting. The letters themselves though are fun to read and it's something that's cool to look out for as you're journeying through the game.
[BEST VERSION]
My favorite version of FFIX is the PS1 version. The easiest way to get it is either on Amazon or downloading off the PlayStation Network on the PS3 or the PS Vita, it's very cheap.
They re-released the game on PS4 with both pros and cons.
(PROS)
For starters the game has a fast forward button, which makes the side quests and grinding go by so much quicker. It also makes going for the Excalibur II side quest so much easier. The Excalibur II is Steiner's ultimate weapon, and can only be obtained by reaching the final dungeon in less than 12 hours. You can also skip the FMV cutscenes which is cool.
There is also a No Encounters Button, a button that gives the characters God Mode with infinite Trance, a button that lets you do 9999 damage, a cheat that gives you max money, and a cheat that lets you auto-learn abilities as soon as you equip a piece of equipment. But why in the hell would you use all of this shit?? That just sucks all the fun out of the game.
(CONS)
The game has gotten enhanced textures and they changed the font of the menus to try to give it a much cleaner look, but personally, I absolutely hate it. The menus now look so bubbly and messy, it's disgusting to look at. The font they chose is shit, the font from the PS1 version is a million times better.
This "enhanced" remastered version released on mobile first, so someone thought that it would be a good idea to port this version to PS4 and Steam. The PS4 had to get a patch that shrunk down the menu size because half of the battle screen was taken up by the cell phone menu graphics. WTF is up with that nonsense?? But the Steam version? They didn't get any fixes for this. The only way to remedy this is with mods.
There is also an issue with the audio sampling. The sound effects don't sound the same like the PS1 version. Again, you can fix this with mods, but the PS4 version has not gotten a fix for this.
There was also a problem where the music after a battle would loop back to the beginning, which was not present in the PS1 version. They did fix this in the PS4 version but I don't know about the Steam release.
The menus also have an insanely noticable amount of lag. There is a delay between button presses, which makes trying to speed through the menus impossible. This is very annoying, especially considering that the PS1 version had menus that ran at a stable 60 FPS. The battle menus also had very smooth transitions, but the remastered version's battle menus are static, which is also noticable and distracting. These may seem like nitpicks, but if you played the PS1 version and wanted to play it on a newer system, all of these issues may put you off.
The game's frame rate while on the World Wap is god awful. Again, why did they decide to port the mobile version? This is just fuckin' lazy.
I've never played the Xbox One or the Switch versions so I'm not sure if these issues were resolved or not with those versions.
Damn, I've said version a lot haven't I?
Now do you see why I think the PS1 version is the better version? Yes the PS4 and Steam versions has fast forward and all that, but that all comes at the expense of the game's asthetics. The PS1 has much longer load times but I'd rather deal with that than have my eyes be assaulted by those horrible menus and my ears disappointed by the sound effect problem. Finally, the textures also look muddier, like if someone smeared vaseline all over my TV screen, it's just ugly to look at.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
Final Fantasy IX is a must play, it's such an amazing game. A grand, watershed reflection of what had come before. This is the longest review I've ever wrote, but you'd be surprised by just how many people have still never played this game. If I'm so passionate about it, you'd think this is my favorite FF game right? Well actually, this game is a tie for 2nd place. My all time favorite FF game is VI, then again, FFVI is my favorite video game, period. But for a close 2nd, I just don't know which FF game I love more, this game or Final Fantasy X. I grew up with both FFIX and X. The sheer impact they have left on me as a gamer is unprecedented, it's just something that I will never forget. I've played this game so much along with FFX that it's baffling, it just never gets old. And that makes it worthy of a masterfully crafted experience.
If I were to speak from an objective standpoint, then yes, it is the best representation of Final Fantasy. It's no wonder it's Hironobu Sakaguchi's personal favorite.
10/10
While Final Fantasy VII and VIII had adopted sci-fi steampunk worlds, Final Fantasy IX goes back to form with a medival fantasy setting. If you've played Final Fantasy I-VI, FFIX will make you feel right at home, as it's the ideal view of what Final Fantasy truly is. Not only does it stay consistent with the tone of the FF games from the NES and SNES era, but it's hand-fisted with references to those past games, which are a real pleasure to see.
[STORY]
Do not let those cutesy character designs fool you. This is one of the darkest games in the series, and it portrays some of the greatest character development the series has to offer. This results in a cast of characters that feel like real, relatable people despite having such mythical and rather silly designs, which is a testament to how much care was put into them. I absolutely love this cast, one of the best in this franchise.
Kuja (the main villain) is one of the most realized characters, but seriously, WTF is he wearing?? Is it a man thong? Is it some sort of medival sports bra? I have no idea, but damn is he a badass villain. And by the end of the game I actually felt sympathetic towards him.
The themes of this game mostly revolve around death and coming to terms with your identity, the cycle of life. It's a moving story about one's existence and their purpose in life, something that everyone in the party has pondered about at least once in their lives, and how their mortality is of great importance.
Why am I here?
What does death feel like? Where do we go after we die?
What reasons do we have to live on the planet? And where do I belong?
These are the questions the game dives into, and while this sounds very dated by today's standards, remember that this game came out 20 years ago. I still think it holds up strongly today. More people die in this game than any other FF game I've played, except Final Fantasy VI. Again, this game is pretty dark despite the characters looking so weird. Death is a recurring theme, it's what brings the story from beginning to end.
There's also a central game mechanic called Active Time, where when Zidane is split up from other characters, you get to see what they are up to at certain times for even more character development.
Of course for the first time, you won't fully understand the story without doing some research, but when you do, you'll realize just how complex the story really is.
Vivi, more than anyone else in this game, is the character that resonates with this theme the most, and I'm sure many others will agree with that. His character arc and his growth throughout, going from a weak and fearful child who hated the very thought of death, to a confident, determined young man who lives his life to the fullest and with purpose, makes him not only my favorite character in FFIX, but my favorite character in ALL of Final Fantasy. I was only 13 when I played this game for the first time, but damn, watching Vivi's resolution at the end of the game made me cry my ass off.
This isn't to say the game is entirely bleak. It does have a lot of light-hearted, wholesome, and funny moments. The sense of humor in this game is so damn charming and memorable. This game made me both laugh and cry. It has a perfect balance between its humor and character-driven moments.
This is one of those games that you come back to mainly because of how timeless it is, not just because of gameplay, but because of one very important thing: Characterization. It's very clear that Square wanted to create believable people that you really want to care about and root for. Character development is one of the biggest factors to this game, it's not Final Fantasy VI levels of developed, but it's pretty close.
[PRESENTATION]
Even today, this game's presentation holds up really well. It's the best looking FF game on the PS1, in fact, it's one of the best looking PS1 games, period. The FMV cutscenes are beautiful and hold up even to this day. The character designs are definitely the most odd looking ones in the series, but that's what makes the game stand out. The attention to detail is exquisite and the world is very colorful. And the pre-rendered backgrounds are among the best on the PS1.
[MUSIC]
I honestly can't stress it enough, the soundtrack to this game is in a master class of its own, some of the greatest music ever produced in video games. FFIX's soundtrack is my 2nd favorite in the FF series, my first being FFVI. This is some of Nobuo Uematsu's greatest work.
There are so few composers in this industry whose music have left as much of an impact as his did. The lack of voice acting in FFIX meant that not only the dialogue, but the music was used to define the tone and characters in the game and it works wonders.
The music is what adds the most amount of spirit in these older FF games. Some of my favorite songs in all of gaming are in this game. I can't think of a single track that I actually dislike. It adds to the charm, uniqueness, and personality of the game. Nearly every melody is memorable, and the instrumentals used makes the soundtrack truly brilliant. I also can't tell you just how many times I listened to the battle theme and You're Not Alone religiously. So much so that it would be embarrassing to admit. FFIX has the best battle theme in the series, in fact, it might be my favorite battle theme in all of gaming. Melodies of Life is also my all time favorite vocal performance in the FF series.
Orchestra, and the use of piano, flute, kazoo, dulcimer, castanets, drums, bass, as well as motifs from older Final Fantasy games, makes the soundtrack an absolutely nostalgic masterpiece. The music defines at least half of Final Fantasy IX.
[GAMEPLAY]
While I really like Junctions from FFVIII in how complex it is, FFIX's simplicity in its mechanics are still enjoyable. Like with the story, FFIX goes back to form with its gameplay; Four character battles, characters with class specific roles, with traditional equipment and abilities.
Final Fantasy VII and VIII had this problem where everyone is able to learn the same magic spells and abilities, which can make them all feel the same, the only differences between each other being their Limit Breaks. Not to mention there were too many easy ways to get out of fights. But in Final Fantasy IX, each character have specific roles and the difficulty of battles have been ramped up.
Vivi being a Black Mage, the only party member who can cast Black Magic, Zidane being a Thief who can steal items, Eiko and Garnet being both White Mages/Summoners, Freya who is a Dragoon, Quina who...eats enemies to learn Blue Magic, yeah don't ask. Also is it a he or a she? Does no one to this day still not know??
And Steiner, oh my god, Steiner, a Knight that can use Sword skills and team up with Vivi to unleash sword spell attacks that deal massive damage. He also does like five times more damage while in Trance. Did they test Steiner during development? Because he is simply overpowered. He is incredible, easily one of the party members to have in battle.
On the other hand, Amarant can stay the hell out of my party. Seriously, have any of you ever used Amarant other than in key points in the game? Goddamn is he almost useless. All of his attacks are really weak compared to others.
This game does get challenging. FFIX isn't a hard game, but FFVII and VIII had battles that were just too easy. FFIX has much more panic inducing, tense moments in the battles, and has a much stronger emphasis on strategy, which is a very welcome change.
In this game, equipment is what teaches the characters their abilities, which is further complimented by the balance of battles. Ozma, the superboss of the game, is hands down the hardest optional superboss in the series. And the final boss Necron is no pushover either. I'd say Necron is one of the toughest final bosses. And the music that plays during that fight freaked me out when I was a teenager.
Typically in past games, you would sell equipment that you didn't need anymore because you got new equipment with higher stats. But in this game, almost every piece of equipment is important, because elemental properties play a much larger role. So even if you have equipment that have "lower stats", it's still important to hold onto it if it's capable of boosting your elemental offense and defense. The benefits of elemental defense boosting far outweigh the benefits of a higher Defense or Magic Defense stat. Also, you can get exclusive weapons and armor at Synthesis Shops, which require previously obtained equipment, so again, hold onto equipment even if you don't use it anymore.
All of this combined is what makes battling in FFIX so fun and rewarding. Battles feel fresh because of this. A sense of challenge that hadn't been felt since Final Fantasy VI. Though I still do have a couple gripes.
One thing I don't like about the battles is how slow they are. Even if I turn the ATB speed all the way up, it's soooooo slooooow, easily the slowest out of all the other games. And while you can get an ability that boosts the speed of the ATB gauge, you don't get that until at least halfway into the game, and it's missable during one part in Disc 2. You won't get it again until Disc 3 or 4. So early on in the game the battles can really drag.
I also don't like the Trance mechanic. Trances are basically Limit Breaks in FFIX but with a twist. Taking damage will fill up a red bar, when it's full, characters can go into Trance. Instead of it being a one use attack like in FFVII and VIII, instead it boosts the characters stats for several turns and the characters can use exclusive attacks that replace certain battle commands.
However what ruins the potential of it is when the bar is full, the Trance activates automatically. This makes it incredibly difficult to use them strategically. They can't be saved from one battle to the next, the transformation takes a while, and it can't be skipped. All of this makes Trance more of a pain in the ass than something game changing and useful. Luckily the balance of the battles make up for this.
So about side content, it's very hit and miss for me. I've heard a ton of people complain about the card game tournament in Treno. Yeah, I don't like Tetra Master either, and I still think that it's bullshit that the developers took something that was originally a minigame and made it mandatory to progress through the story.
Even to this day, I still don't understand how Tetra Master works. Even if you have a card that is technically stronger than your opponent's, it's still possible to lose, so it's completely random. That is total bullshit. Even so, I didn't have as much of a hard time as what others were saying about the card tournament. All I do is just select random cards and mash buttons until I do win. It's definitely not impossible.
If I lost too many times I would just reset. And after I win one round I just go to a moogle and save my game. This is important because the third and final round only gives you one chance to win. And if you do win, you get the Rebirth Ring which teaches every character the Auto-Life ability. This is the earliest point in the game you can obtain it.
Final Fantasy VIII's Triple Triad is way better designed, it's completely optional, and you get some amazing rewards for playing it. But Tetra Master? It sucks ass through a bendy straw.
Now that I think about it, pretty much every piece of side content relies on RNG. The Chocobo side quest is better but it can still be tedious because it relies on RNG to give rewards to the player. And if you wanna fight Ozma, you have to turn your chocobo into a golden one, by finding Chocographs. Chocographs are items that are used to find treasures containing exclusive loot.
You get these by playing a minigame called Chocobo Hot and Cold. There is no skill involved, you just mash the Square button to dig into the ground in certain areas until you find the item that you're looking for, which is just repetitive and it drags a lot. This type of randomness plagues a lot of RPGs, but if this doesn't bother you, then all the power to you. However the rewards you get for obtaining the Chocographs and finding the treasures are amazing, some of the best in the game, like Zidane's and Garnet + Eiko's ultimate weapons.
The Mognet side quest is also hit and miss because it involves delivering mail from one moogle to the next. It's actually possible to miss certain moogles which will prevent you from fully completing the side quest. I've never completed it myself and frankly I never cared about completing it anyway, the payoff is nowhere near as good as Chocobo treasure hunting. The letters themselves though are fun to read and it's something that's cool to look out for as you're journeying through the game.
[BEST VERSION]
My favorite version of FFIX is the PS1 version. The easiest way to get it is either on Amazon or downloading off the PlayStation Network on the PS3 or the PS Vita, it's very cheap.
They re-released the game on PS4 with both pros and cons.
(PROS)
For starters the game has a fast forward button, which makes the side quests and grinding go by so much quicker. It also makes going for the Excalibur II side quest so much easier. The Excalibur II is Steiner's ultimate weapon, and can only be obtained by reaching the final dungeon in less than 12 hours. You can also skip the FMV cutscenes which is cool.
There is also a No Encounters Button, a button that gives the characters God Mode with infinite Trance, a button that lets you do 9999 damage, a cheat that gives you max money, and a cheat that lets you auto-learn abilities as soon as you equip a piece of equipment. But why in the hell would you use all of this shit?? That just sucks all the fun out of the game.
(CONS)
The game has gotten enhanced textures and they changed the font of the menus to try to give it a much cleaner look, but personally, I absolutely hate it. The menus now look so bubbly and messy, it's disgusting to look at. The font they chose is shit, the font from the PS1 version is a million times better.
This "enhanced" remastered version released on mobile first, so someone thought that it would be a good idea to port this version to PS4 and Steam. The PS4 had to get a patch that shrunk down the menu size because half of the battle screen was taken up by the cell phone menu graphics. WTF is up with that nonsense?? But the Steam version? They didn't get any fixes for this. The only way to remedy this is with mods.
There is also an issue with the audio sampling. The sound effects don't sound the same like the PS1 version. Again, you can fix this with mods, but the PS4 version has not gotten a fix for this.
There was also a problem where the music after a battle would loop back to the beginning, which was not present in the PS1 version. They did fix this in the PS4 version but I don't know about the Steam release.
The menus also have an insanely noticable amount of lag. There is a delay between button presses, which makes trying to speed through the menus impossible. This is very annoying, especially considering that the PS1 version had menus that ran at a stable 60 FPS. The battle menus also had very smooth transitions, but the remastered version's battle menus are static, which is also noticable and distracting. These may seem like nitpicks, but if you played the PS1 version and wanted to play it on a newer system, all of these issues may put you off.
The game's frame rate while on the World Wap is god awful. Again, why did they decide to port the mobile version? This is just fuckin' lazy.
I've never played the Xbox One or the Switch versions so I'm not sure if these issues were resolved or not with those versions.
Damn, I've said version a lot haven't I?
Now do you see why I think the PS1 version is the better version? Yes the PS4 and Steam versions has fast forward and all that, but that all comes at the expense of the game's asthetics. The PS1 has much longer load times but I'd rather deal with that than have my eyes be assaulted by those horrible menus and my ears disappointed by the sound effect problem. Finally, the textures also look muddier, like if someone smeared vaseline all over my TV screen, it's just ugly to look at.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
Final Fantasy IX is a must play, it's such an amazing game. A grand, watershed reflection of what had come before. This is the longest review I've ever wrote, but you'd be surprised by just how many people have still never played this game. If I'm so passionate about it, you'd think this is my favorite FF game right? Well actually, this game is a tie for 2nd place. My all time favorite FF game is VI, then again, FFVI is my favorite video game, period. But for a close 2nd, I just don't know which FF game I love more, this game or Final Fantasy X. I grew up with both FFIX and X. The sheer impact they have left on me as a gamer is unprecedented, it's just something that I will never forget. I've played this game so much along with FFX that it's baffling, it just never gets old. And that makes it worthy of a masterfully crafted experience.
If I were to speak from an objective standpoint, then yes, it is the best representation of Final Fantasy. It's no wonder it's Hironobu Sakaguchi's personal favorite.
10/10
2020
It has been months since I actually wrote a review for a game, but once I had put a good 50-60 hours into this game, I just had to talk about it, I am just baffled by how unfinished it is. This review will most likely be written like a fuckin' visual novel, but please bear with me, there's just so much wrong with this game and most of it aren't even glitches. They could be glitches, who knows.
In my playthrough I barely encountered any frame drops with both combat and driving, the patches that have been released did help a lot, and my game has only crashed a total of 3 or 4 times.
If frame drops, softlocking glitches, and crashing happened more frequently then this game would be a 3, even a 2 out of 10 in my eyes. My heart does go out to those poor bastards who encountered some of the most game breaking bugs I've ever seen in a video game.
When you get past the performance issues and onslaught of glitches no matter what platform you are playing on, when you actually get into the meat of the game, like content, mechanics, and gameplay, this is one of the most shallow Open World RPG games I have ever played.
And this isn't about not meeting the impossible expectations that us gamers had, no no no, it's about how all of us have been manipulated into spending at least $65 on a product that is clearly not completed. A game that should have had at least another year or more in the oven.
It's about the fact that this game is so outdated and unpolished that it lacks the most basic game design and Role-Playing mechanics that were in games from at least 10-20 years ago.
The marketing of this game was making it out to be like, the Grand Theft Auto VI that we have been waiting all these years for, but that couldn't be any more misleading.
[THE WORLD]
Pedestrians have no AI. They were programmed to do only one or two things at all times. They have no sense of figuring out things for themselves. There is no driving AI. All of the NPCs inside of cars are designed to go on a specific path and do not stray off of it. You could stand in front of someone in a car and they don't just drive around you. You could cause an all-time vehicle hold-up, all because you are standing in front of one guy's car, and no one knows what to do about it. Hell, they don't even honk their horns at you.
And when you shoot at someone in a car, they don't back up, they don't hit it and run your ass over, they just get out of the car and either run away or get on their knees and beg for mercy. Every. Fucking. Time.
They don't fight you either. You could pull out a gun on them, you could bump into them, you could punch them and run them over, they just don't retaliate. They just run away and nothing else.
I thought this was Night City. The trailers claimed it was the worst place to live in America, you know, skyhigh rate of violence?? Shouldn't NPCs pull out a gun on you or at least attack you if you fuck with them?
They also have only one trait outside of a car which is walk around on the sidewalk in a single path and say a couple lines of dialogue and that's it. And when you turn the camera in a 180 and then turn around again, the NPCs all disappear. This is just laughable. Other NPCs aside from ones on the street either just stand around leaning on a wall or something, or they repeat the same interactions with other NPCs over and over and over again.
Not one time can you interact with anyone in this game unless if it's someone who has a Quest for you. The reason why pedestrians are designed like this is because the game despawns them when the player moves a certain distance away from them, which saves the developers the need to give them any sort of realistic AI, with things to do during the day, each with certain day and night cycles. It's so goddamn stupid.
NPCs don't call the cops on you either when you cause a crime. And speaking of cops, my god is it a joke..
This game has without a doubt the worst implementation of a Wanted Level system I have ever seen in an Open World game. The game has a star system like in GTA, but the amount of stars you get does not affect the type of police that come after you, they just affect how many officers spawn in at once. You will ALWAYS get "pursued" by the same regular NCPD officers.
No SWAT team, no FBI, no National Guard or some sort of military, nope. And I put pursued in quotation marks because cops don't even chase you in cars. I wish I was joking about that. An Open World game with a Wanted Level System where the police don't even follow and chase you in cop cars?? What??? I have never heard of a game that is like this.
Instead, when you get a Wanted Level, the cops just spawn out of fucking thin air, either right in front of you or right in back of you, no matter where you are on the map, meaning they can just appear from nowhere and shoot you down and kill you almost instantly.
But if you do survive that initial massacre, you can lose them either by just running a block or two down the street, or just get in a car, because the cops don't seem to have the brain capacity to chase after you in their squad cars, either that or every cop in the city is a lazy fatass who can't be bothered to deal with you. No police aircraft following you either, of course not.
You wanna know a game from back then that actually had cops chase you in cop cars and also had different levels of police forces depending on your Wanted Level?
Grand Theft Auto 1 and 2...
Keep in mind, GTA1 came out in 1997. GTA2 came out two years later.
THAT WAS TWO DECADES AGO. WHAT THE FUCK.
Oh, here's another game: Driver, another PS1 game from 1999, 21 years ago. That game also had cops that chased you and attempt to pit maneuver you.
And because NPCs are designed only for one purpose, there is never a time where you do any combat while inside of a vehicle aside from a scripted Quest. That's what Night City feels like, it's just a giant script.
How did CD Projekt Red fuck up something as simple as pedestrians
and police in their multi-hundred million dollar Open World game?? All of this just makes Night City feel so lifeless. Night City itself is a beautiful place, don't get me wrong. It is one of the most detailed places I've seen in a video game, but it lacks so much depth and substance, which can kill the immersion all-together.
[GAMEPLAY/CONTENT]
The lack of content in this game is so staggeringly noticable that it just begs the question as to what the developers have been doing all of these years. Oh right, deceiving the audience with the Hype Train and giving a shitload of money to Keanu Reeves to promote it.
No disrespect to Keanu Reeves, but the only purpose he actually served to this game was advertising. I wasn't really a fan of his character in-game. A lot of his dialogue is cringy and you only play as him like twice in the entire game.
He's more playable in Fortnite for fuck sake. But I'm getting off topic here.
The character customization in this game is an absolute travesty. Seriously, I've seen much better character customization in Ubisoft's The Division franchise. Not only are the options in creating your character lacking besides the ability to give your character a dick or a vagina regardless of gender, but once you create your character and start the game, there is NO way to edit your character's appearance after this.
This is a world where people have modified their own bodies with cybernetic machinery, hence the name, CYBERPUNK 2077, and yet in-game, you can't change your hair, your body type, your tattoos, your skin color, eye color, you can't get any robotic arms or legs, NOTHING.
Once you make that character, you are stuck with it. Forever. Wow...
You can change your clothes and that's it, but you have no choice in what you want to wear.
Since the game has an RPG Armor mechanic, you are forced to wear whatever garbage clothing items the game throws at you if it means that you are able to boost your Armor. More Armor means you take less damage from enemies. If your clothes didn't change if you equipped something, then that would be different, but no, I have to make my character look like a fucking idiot just to that I can survive in gunfights. You can upgrade your character's Cybernetic abilities like giving yourself the Mantis Arms, which are these two large crab claw looking things that come out of your back that you use to stab enemies with. They're pretty cool and all, but those aren't cosmetics.
Why can't we just wear pre-determined outfits? What is the point of putting clothing stores in the game if we are forced to change clothes all the time just for that higher Armor stat number anyway?
Saints Row 3 from 2011 not only has 20 times more ways to make your main character look however you want them to be than this 2020 game, but you can edit them WHENEVER YOU WANT TO, and you are not forced to make them
look like a total clown because the game forces you to.
GTA SanAndreas and Saints Row 3 still remain the unmatched kings of character customization. I can be anything I want in those games.
Speaking of GTA SanAndreas, let's make some comparisons in terms of things you can do in the Open World. Keep in mind, GTA SanAndreas came out in 2004, 16 years ago.
In GTA SanAndreas you can:
-Participate in a Gang War City Conquest
-Gamble, play Poker, play Roulette, play Wheel of Fortune, and bet on Horse Races
-Compete in both vehicle and physical body dance-offs
-Play Pool
-Play on Arcade Machines
-Go to a Shooting Range (which also actually improves your character's gun skills)
-You can do Motorbike Obstacle Course races, street races, and Demolition Derbys
-You can do Firefighter, Paramedic, and Police Vigilante missions
-You can fly planes, helicopters, and jetpacks
-You can drive trains and boats
-You can go to a Driving or Flying School
-You can go to the Gym and affect your characters' stats and body appearance
-You can go to restaurants and eat food, which also affects your body type
-You can buy houses and businesses that can generate income
-You can buy vehicles and customize them
-You can go on dates with people and take them out to places
-Jesus, you can play basketball for god sake
Cyberpunk has NONE of this. I am not fucking joking.
The only things you can do in Cyberpunk outside of Story and Side Quests is go to a bar, buy guns and armor, upgrade your character's abilities, buy cars (but you can't modify them), pick up prostitutes and have sex with them, and kill gang members for the NCPD. All you do is go to a specific place on the map, kill gang members and that's it. Sometimes you are asked to steal something and bring it to someone but that's pretty much it. Most of what you're doing outside of partaking in conversations is just shooting at people and that's it.
Talking, shooting, talking, shooting, talking, shooting, talking, shooting, Jesus Christ, where is the variation??
I know it may sound like I am a Rockstar fanboy, but I have heavily mixed feelings about Rockstar's treatment towards GTA5 and Red Dead Redemption 2 these days, but there is no denying that even almost two decades ago, Rockstar knew how to do Open World games the right way.
And keep in mind, Rockstar has spent around $100 Million making GTA SanAndreas, CD Projekt Red spent about triple with Cyberpunk, and inflation hasn't really affected it much, so there is really no excuse for how much Cyberpunk is lacking in its world.
Hell, Saints Row 3, Watch Dogs 2, Sleeping Dogs, the Yakuza games, Persona 5, Mafia 2, all of these games do their Open Worlds so much better than what we have in 2020's Cyberpunk 2077, what in God's name happened?? There is almost no meat on Cyberpunk's bones whatsoever.
Many of the RPG mechanics in this game are so poorly implemented that it makes me wonder what the point of it was. This game has a lot, and I mean a lot of talking. You spend at least 70 percent of the main story just talking to people, which, for a game that is story-heavy, that is okay, I don't care about that, I love story-driven games.
I want to give credit where credit is due and say that the narrative itself is actually the best part about this game, but it still has striking issues.
The main issue is the fact that none of the dialogue choices you make in conversations mean anything in terms of affecting how the story progresses.
It doesn't matter what you say to people, you can be an absolute asshole to everyone but the story will always play out exactly the same. Be a dick to someone, they'll treat you like a total piece of shit, but be nice to them and they will treat you the exact same way.
There is only one part in the entire game where choosing some specific dialogue will affect how the rest of the story plays out, but that's at the very end of the game.
There are even specific dialogue choices that you can only choose if you have your character's stats at a certain level, but since the story does not alter no matter what you say, what is the point of it?? You increase your stats by spending Skill Points but why do that for the optional dialogue choices?
That's just a waste of Skill Points, it's not like you can affect the course of the story in any way. You get three classes to choose from before you start the game which only affect the dialogue choices and also your starting location on the map, but again, none of that means anything.
The narrative will always play out the exact same way, no matter what. This just hurts the replay value of the game. You can't even make your own adventure. Which means that once you have beaten the game, you have seen everything that the story has to offer. Everything in this game is scripted no matter what. From the NPCs to the story progression, from conversations with people to drive-by sequences, everything moves forward the way the game makes it. Any one person who plays this RPG game will have the exact same adventure as someone else, and this just blows hard.
The writing is great and many of the characters are likeable, and many of the Side Quests are good for additional character development, but considering the massive promised scope of this game and how it was marketed as a Role-Playing game like The Witcher 3, while also being marketed as the game that could put Rockstar in their place, this is a major disappointment nonetheless, and I wonder if great writing and characterization and yet incredibly cringy dialogue at times will be enough. I've seen Final Fantasy games on the Nintendo Entertainment System that have a bigger emphasis on Role-Playing.
So about the difficulty, it's not balanced very well.
Normal Mode is so fucking easy that a 4th grader with Asperger's Syndrome who has never played a video game before can easily breeze through it, but then Hard Mode and higher is so ridiculously hard that it's almost like you are doing it because you have a fetish for masochism.
Enemies on Hard Mode soak up so many bullets that it would be easier to just get up close and personal with melee weapons instead, and you die in only a few shots, it makes stealth almost a pure necessity.
And checkpoints are so far and in-between that it just makes combat more of an aggravating chore rather than a genuine challenge. I like hard games, but when your Hard Mode is designed more like you're stepping up two or three difficulties higher instead of one, we've got a problem.
There doesn't seem to be a good balance between difficulties. Most of the time I die it would be because of a game breaking glitch or something bullshit like getting hit by an explosive barrel that I didn't see and dying instantly.
And the game gives you so many healing items that again, the game is just pitifully easy, but it does get pretty obnoxious having to use inhalers like a fucking drug addict every time you lose health.
The loot in this game is just a joke. There are plenty of weapon types but some gun types are clearly better than others. Every gun in this game is the exact same as another one just with a higher DPS stat, which means that melee weapons and revolvers are mainly king since they get the best Skills and the typically have the highest DPS. Why hack enemies when you can just easily take them down in a couple seconds with a katana?
The Skill Trees only just further makes them overpowered and the game becomes an even easier joke than what it already is, which just defeats the purpose of Crafting. A lot of the Skills are pretty boring as well, most of them are just increasing percentages which is fucking pointless because I could just pick up a weapon that give me those percentage increases anyway.
You can craft guns but what is the point when enemies drop so many weapons anyway? By the time you reach the end of the game, which keep in mind, this game is around 30 hours long, you will already have some of the best weapons in the game.
The aiming in this game is some of the worst I've ever experienced in a shooter game in recent memory. It is so oversensitive and clunky that I struggle just to aim at enemies, and I've played console shooter games my whole life.
I'm a guy who plays Rainbow Six Siege competitively on Console for Christ sake. No matter what I mess around with in my settings, I can never find an optimal way to aim and shoot at enemies, so I have to rely on Auto-Aim because the Free Aim is that bad.
I have to repeatedly tap the ADS button so that my aim will snap back onto the enemy since many of the guns have insane recoil and I have to reorient my aim.
The driving in this game is also meme-worthy. The traction of the vehicles are all fucked up. You can't use the handbrake and make a turn without the car swiveling in a 180. It also takes like 5 years for the car to come to a complete stop even when using the handbrake.
All of the cars control this way, and it just feels awful to do, which is probably why there are Fast Travel stations at like every street corner. Even the motorcycles control like they're driving on ice, there are just way to many times where you can just oversteer where you want to go, it's giving me flashbacks of Ride to Hell Retribution's motorcycle physics, and I wish I was over exaggerating. I even flew myself off the highway a couple times on a motorcycle because it wouldn't brake fast enough.
When you get into a vehicle, the mini-map barely zooms out, which means that when you are following a waypoint, since you're gonna need it because Night City is insanely complex in its verticality and road design, you're not gonna be able to anticipate when you need to make a turn, which means that you're gonna miss the the turn and then you gotta turn your ass around.
Which sounds like a minor complaint but I can't tell you how many times I had to turn my car around because the waypoint wants me to make a turn but I end up missing it because the mini-map isn't zoomed out enough so I can see it coming, which also doesn't help that the driving physics are total shit on top of it. It's the worst when you're on the highway, it's just really frustrating.
A lot of the music in this game is very hit and miss for me. Some songs are pretty good but others sounds like if someone walked into a nightclub and forcefully took control of the DJ audio system, or if you just taught your 14 year old child how to make techno music for the first time.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
This may be the last game that I will ever get hyped for again. Ghost of Tsushima surprised the shit out of me with it's incredible story and world, but here I was, thinking that Cyberpunk would top it and goddamn was I wrong. I defended this game for the longest time up until it's launch and wow do I feel played. I was blown away, and not in a good way. I honestly wish that this game never came out.
I could excuse a good amount of the bugs and performance issues because I am just used to shit like that in AAA games these days, I mean, I've played DayZ on PS4 a lot for fuck sake, but when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture here, you realize that the issues Cyberpunk have go so much farther than just bugs and performance problems, but the bugs and bad performance only just adds onto the embarrassment and horrific mismanagement that this game has been subjected to.
Patches are not going to be able to save the embarrassing state that the game is currently in right now. There needs to be some drastic overhaul. Because even if the game ran well across all platforms and it didn't have as many bugs as it does, it would not fix the overall unfinished nature of the game's core mechanics and gameplay.
It just gets shat on by other games in this genre. I doubt we will see any huge, significant changes to the game for at least another 1 or 2 years. We have to wait just for the game to be in a more playable state before we actually get something worthwhile, and that's just sad.
What a cruel year for gaming indeed, I can honestly feel the heartbreak in many people who thought that this was going to be the game of the generation, the game that would stand up to other games like GTA5 and it's incredibly aggressive microtransaction fueled Online mode, and many of the Open World dribble that Ubisoft shits out all the time.
All of the many years of goodwill of CD Projekt Red thrown down the toilet, they have become the very thing that they have promised us gamers that they would be fighting against.
For shame, CD Projekt Red. For shame.
But hey, at least copies of the game come with 30 day Free Trials to HBO Max, so that's gotta count for something, right...?
Uh no, just get a refund on the game. It's not worth the spending money considering all the other much better thought-out games that cost only a fraction of it.
3/10
In my playthrough I barely encountered any frame drops with both combat and driving, the patches that have been released did help a lot, and my game has only crashed a total of 3 or 4 times.
If frame drops, softlocking glitches, and crashing happened more frequently then this game would be a 3, even a 2 out of 10 in my eyes. My heart does go out to those poor bastards who encountered some of the most game breaking bugs I've ever seen in a video game.
When you get past the performance issues and onslaught of glitches no matter what platform you are playing on, when you actually get into the meat of the game, like content, mechanics, and gameplay, this is one of the most shallow Open World RPG games I have ever played.
And this isn't about not meeting the impossible expectations that us gamers had, no no no, it's about how all of us have been manipulated into spending at least $65 on a product that is clearly not completed. A game that should have had at least another year or more in the oven.
It's about the fact that this game is so outdated and unpolished that it lacks the most basic game design and Role-Playing mechanics that were in games from at least 10-20 years ago.
The marketing of this game was making it out to be like, the Grand Theft Auto VI that we have been waiting all these years for, but that couldn't be any more misleading.
[THE WORLD]
Pedestrians have no AI. They were programmed to do only one or two things at all times. They have no sense of figuring out things for themselves. There is no driving AI. All of the NPCs inside of cars are designed to go on a specific path and do not stray off of it. You could stand in front of someone in a car and they don't just drive around you. You could cause an all-time vehicle hold-up, all because you are standing in front of one guy's car, and no one knows what to do about it. Hell, they don't even honk their horns at you.
And when you shoot at someone in a car, they don't back up, they don't hit it and run your ass over, they just get out of the car and either run away or get on their knees and beg for mercy. Every. Fucking. Time.
They don't fight you either. You could pull out a gun on them, you could bump into them, you could punch them and run them over, they just don't retaliate. They just run away and nothing else.
I thought this was Night City. The trailers claimed it was the worst place to live in America, you know, skyhigh rate of violence?? Shouldn't NPCs pull out a gun on you or at least attack you if you fuck with them?
They also have only one trait outside of a car which is walk around on the sidewalk in a single path and say a couple lines of dialogue and that's it. And when you turn the camera in a 180 and then turn around again, the NPCs all disappear. This is just laughable. Other NPCs aside from ones on the street either just stand around leaning on a wall or something, or they repeat the same interactions with other NPCs over and over and over again.
Not one time can you interact with anyone in this game unless if it's someone who has a Quest for you. The reason why pedestrians are designed like this is because the game despawns them when the player moves a certain distance away from them, which saves the developers the need to give them any sort of realistic AI, with things to do during the day, each with certain day and night cycles. It's so goddamn stupid.
NPCs don't call the cops on you either when you cause a crime. And speaking of cops, my god is it a joke..
This game has without a doubt the worst implementation of a Wanted Level system I have ever seen in an Open World game. The game has a star system like in GTA, but the amount of stars you get does not affect the type of police that come after you, they just affect how many officers spawn in at once. You will ALWAYS get "pursued" by the same regular NCPD officers.
No SWAT team, no FBI, no National Guard or some sort of military, nope. And I put pursued in quotation marks because cops don't even chase you in cars. I wish I was joking about that. An Open World game with a Wanted Level System where the police don't even follow and chase you in cop cars?? What??? I have never heard of a game that is like this.
Instead, when you get a Wanted Level, the cops just spawn out of fucking thin air, either right in front of you or right in back of you, no matter where you are on the map, meaning they can just appear from nowhere and shoot you down and kill you almost instantly.
But if you do survive that initial massacre, you can lose them either by just running a block or two down the street, or just get in a car, because the cops don't seem to have the brain capacity to chase after you in their squad cars, either that or every cop in the city is a lazy fatass who can't be bothered to deal with you. No police aircraft following you either, of course not.
You wanna know a game from back then that actually had cops chase you in cop cars and also had different levels of police forces depending on your Wanted Level?
Grand Theft Auto 1 and 2...
Keep in mind, GTA1 came out in 1997. GTA2 came out two years later.
THAT WAS TWO DECADES AGO. WHAT THE FUCK.
Oh, here's another game: Driver, another PS1 game from 1999, 21 years ago. That game also had cops that chased you and attempt to pit maneuver you.
And because NPCs are designed only for one purpose, there is never a time where you do any combat while inside of a vehicle aside from a scripted Quest. That's what Night City feels like, it's just a giant script.
How did CD Projekt Red fuck up something as simple as pedestrians
and police in their multi-hundred million dollar Open World game?? All of this just makes Night City feel so lifeless. Night City itself is a beautiful place, don't get me wrong. It is one of the most detailed places I've seen in a video game, but it lacks so much depth and substance, which can kill the immersion all-together.
[GAMEPLAY/CONTENT]
The lack of content in this game is so staggeringly noticable that it just begs the question as to what the developers have been doing all of these years. Oh right, deceiving the audience with the Hype Train and giving a shitload of money to Keanu Reeves to promote it.
No disrespect to Keanu Reeves, but the only purpose he actually served to this game was advertising. I wasn't really a fan of his character in-game. A lot of his dialogue is cringy and you only play as him like twice in the entire game.
He's more playable in Fortnite for fuck sake. But I'm getting off topic here.
The character customization in this game is an absolute travesty. Seriously, I've seen much better character customization in Ubisoft's The Division franchise. Not only are the options in creating your character lacking besides the ability to give your character a dick or a vagina regardless of gender, but once you create your character and start the game, there is NO way to edit your character's appearance after this.
This is a world where people have modified their own bodies with cybernetic machinery, hence the name, CYBERPUNK 2077, and yet in-game, you can't change your hair, your body type, your tattoos, your skin color, eye color, you can't get any robotic arms or legs, NOTHING.
Once you make that character, you are stuck with it. Forever. Wow...
You can change your clothes and that's it, but you have no choice in what you want to wear.
Since the game has an RPG Armor mechanic, you are forced to wear whatever garbage clothing items the game throws at you if it means that you are able to boost your Armor. More Armor means you take less damage from enemies. If your clothes didn't change if you equipped something, then that would be different, but no, I have to make my character look like a fucking idiot just to that I can survive in gunfights. You can upgrade your character's Cybernetic abilities like giving yourself the Mantis Arms, which are these two large crab claw looking things that come out of your back that you use to stab enemies with. They're pretty cool and all, but those aren't cosmetics.
Why can't we just wear pre-determined outfits? What is the point of putting clothing stores in the game if we are forced to change clothes all the time just for that higher Armor stat number anyway?
Saints Row 3 from 2011 not only has 20 times more ways to make your main character look however you want them to be than this 2020 game, but you can edit them WHENEVER YOU WANT TO, and you are not forced to make them
look like a total clown because the game forces you to.
GTA SanAndreas and Saints Row 3 still remain the unmatched kings of character customization. I can be anything I want in those games.
Speaking of GTA SanAndreas, let's make some comparisons in terms of things you can do in the Open World. Keep in mind, GTA SanAndreas came out in 2004, 16 years ago.
In GTA SanAndreas you can:
-Participate in a Gang War City Conquest
-Gamble, play Poker, play Roulette, play Wheel of Fortune, and bet on Horse Races
-Compete in both vehicle and physical body dance-offs
-Play Pool
-Play on Arcade Machines
-Go to a Shooting Range (which also actually improves your character's gun skills)
-You can do Motorbike Obstacle Course races, street races, and Demolition Derbys
-You can do Firefighter, Paramedic, and Police Vigilante missions
-You can fly planes, helicopters, and jetpacks
-You can drive trains and boats
-You can go to a Driving or Flying School
-You can go to the Gym and affect your characters' stats and body appearance
-You can go to restaurants and eat food, which also affects your body type
-You can buy houses and businesses that can generate income
-You can buy vehicles and customize them
-You can go on dates with people and take them out to places
-Jesus, you can play basketball for god sake
Cyberpunk has NONE of this. I am not fucking joking.
The only things you can do in Cyberpunk outside of Story and Side Quests is go to a bar, buy guns and armor, upgrade your character's abilities, buy cars (but you can't modify them), pick up prostitutes and have sex with them, and kill gang members for the NCPD. All you do is go to a specific place on the map, kill gang members and that's it. Sometimes you are asked to steal something and bring it to someone but that's pretty much it. Most of what you're doing outside of partaking in conversations is just shooting at people and that's it.
Talking, shooting, talking, shooting, talking, shooting, talking, shooting, Jesus Christ, where is the variation??
I know it may sound like I am a Rockstar fanboy, but I have heavily mixed feelings about Rockstar's treatment towards GTA5 and Red Dead Redemption 2 these days, but there is no denying that even almost two decades ago, Rockstar knew how to do Open World games the right way.
And keep in mind, Rockstar has spent around $100 Million making GTA SanAndreas, CD Projekt Red spent about triple with Cyberpunk, and inflation hasn't really affected it much, so there is really no excuse for how much Cyberpunk is lacking in its world.
Hell, Saints Row 3, Watch Dogs 2, Sleeping Dogs, the Yakuza games, Persona 5, Mafia 2, all of these games do their Open Worlds so much better than what we have in 2020's Cyberpunk 2077, what in God's name happened?? There is almost no meat on Cyberpunk's bones whatsoever.
Many of the RPG mechanics in this game are so poorly implemented that it makes me wonder what the point of it was. This game has a lot, and I mean a lot of talking. You spend at least 70 percent of the main story just talking to people, which, for a game that is story-heavy, that is okay, I don't care about that, I love story-driven games.
I want to give credit where credit is due and say that the narrative itself is actually the best part about this game, but it still has striking issues.
The main issue is the fact that none of the dialogue choices you make in conversations mean anything in terms of affecting how the story progresses.
It doesn't matter what you say to people, you can be an absolute asshole to everyone but the story will always play out exactly the same. Be a dick to someone, they'll treat you like a total piece of shit, but be nice to them and they will treat you the exact same way.
There is only one part in the entire game where choosing some specific dialogue will affect how the rest of the story plays out, but that's at the very end of the game.
There are even specific dialogue choices that you can only choose if you have your character's stats at a certain level, but since the story does not alter no matter what you say, what is the point of it?? You increase your stats by spending Skill Points but why do that for the optional dialogue choices?
That's just a waste of Skill Points, it's not like you can affect the course of the story in any way. You get three classes to choose from before you start the game which only affect the dialogue choices and also your starting location on the map, but again, none of that means anything.
The narrative will always play out the exact same way, no matter what. This just hurts the replay value of the game. You can't even make your own adventure. Which means that once you have beaten the game, you have seen everything that the story has to offer. Everything in this game is scripted no matter what. From the NPCs to the story progression, from conversations with people to drive-by sequences, everything moves forward the way the game makes it. Any one person who plays this RPG game will have the exact same adventure as someone else, and this just blows hard.
The writing is great and many of the characters are likeable, and many of the Side Quests are good for additional character development, but considering the massive promised scope of this game and how it was marketed as a Role-Playing game like The Witcher 3, while also being marketed as the game that could put Rockstar in their place, this is a major disappointment nonetheless, and I wonder if great writing and characterization and yet incredibly cringy dialogue at times will be enough. I've seen Final Fantasy games on the Nintendo Entertainment System that have a bigger emphasis on Role-Playing.
So about the difficulty, it's not balanced very well.
Normal Mode is so fucking easy that a 4th grader with Asperger's Syndrome who has never played a video game before can easily breeze through it, but then Hard Mode and higher is so ridiculously hard that it's almost like you are doing it because you have a fetish for masochism.
Enemies on Hard Mode soak up so many bullets that it would be easier to just get up close and personal with melee weapons instead, and you die in only a few shots, it makes stealth almost a pure necessity.
And checkpoints are so far and in-between that it just makes combat more of an aggravating chore rather than a genuine challenge. I like hard games, but when your Hard Mode is designed more like you're stepping up two or three difficulties higher instead of one, we've got a problem.
There doesn't seem to be a good balance between difficulties. Most of the time I die it would be because of a game breaking glitch or something bullshit like getting hit by an explosive barrel that I didn't see and dying instantly.
And the game gives you so many healing items that again, the game is just pitifully easy, but it does get pretty obnoxious having to use inhalers like a fucking drug addict every time you lose health.
The loot in this game is just a joke. There are plenty of weapon types but some gun types are clearly better than others. Every gun in this game is the exact same as another one just with a higher DPS stat, which means that melee weapons and revolvers are mainly king since they get the best Skills and the typically have the highest DPS. Why hack enemies when you can just easily take them down in a couple seconds with a katana?
The Skill Trees only just further makes them overpowered and the game becomes an even easier joke than what it already is, which just defeats the purpose of Crafting. A lot of the Skills are pretty boring as well, most of them are just increasing percentages which is fucking pointless because I could just pick up a weapon that give me those percentage increases anyway.
You can craft guns but what is the point when enemies drop so many weapons anyway? By the time you reach the end of the game, which keep in mind, this game is around 30 hours long, you will already have some of the best weapons in the game.
The aiming in this game is some of the worst I've ever experienced in a shooter game in recent memory. It is so oversensitive and clunky that I struggle just to aim at enemies, and I've played console shooter games my whole life.
I'm a guy who plays Rainbow Six Siege competitively on Console for Christ sake. No matter what I mess around with in my settings, I can never find an optimal way to aim and shoot at enemies, so I have to rely on Auto-Aim because the Free Aim is that bad.
I have to repeatedly tap the ADS button so that my aim will snap back onto the enemy since many of the guns have insane recoil and I have to reorient my aim.
The driving in this game is also meme-worthy. The traction of the vehicles are all fucked up. You can't use the handbrake and make a turn without the car swiveling in a 180. It also takes like 5 years for the car to come to a complete stop even when using the handbrake.
All of the cars control this way, and it just feels awful to do, which is probably why there are Fast Travel stations at like every street corner. Even the motorcycles control like they're driving on ice, there are just way to many times where you can just oversteer where you want to go, it's giving me flashbacks of Ride to Hell Retribution's motorcycle physics, and I wish I was over exaggerating. I even flew myself off the highway a couple times on a motorcycle because it wouldn't brake fast enough.
When you get into a vehicle, the mini-map barely zooms out, which means that when you are following a waypoint, since you're gonna need it because Night City is insanely complex in its verticality and road design, you're not gonna be able to anticipate when you need to make a turn, which means that you're gonna miss the the turn and then you gotta turn your ass around.
Which sounds like a minor complaint but I can't tell you how many times I had to turn my car around because the waypoint wants me to make a turn but I end up missing it because the mini-map isn't zoomed out enough so I can see it coming, which also doesn't help that the driving physics are total shit on top of it. It's the worst when you're on the highway, it's just really frustrating.
A lot of the music in this game is very hit and miss for me. Some songs are pretty good but others sounds like if someone walked into a nightclub and forcefully took control of the DJ audio system, or if you just taught your 14 year old child how to make techno music for the first time.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
This may be the last game that I will ever get hyped for again. Ghost of Tsushima surprised the shit out of me with it's incredible story and world, but here I was, thinking that Cyberpunk would top it and goddamn was I wrong. I defended this game for the longest time up until it's launch and wow do I feel played. I was blown away, and not in a good way. I honestly wish that this game never came out.
I could excuse a good amount of the bugs and performance issues because I am just used to shit like that in AAA games these days, I mean, I've played DayZ on PS4 a lot for fuck sake, but when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture here, you realize that the issues Cyberpunk have go so much farther than just bugs and performance problems, but the bugs and bad performance only just adds onto the embarrassment and horrific mismanagement that this game has been subjected to.
Patches are not going to be able to save the embarrassing state that the game is currently in right now. There needs to be some drastic overhaul. Because even if the game ran well across all platforms and it didn't have as many bugs as it does, it would not fix the overall unfinished nature of the game's core mechanics and gameplay.
It just gets shat on by other games in this genre. I doubt we will see any huge, significant changes to the game for at least another 1 or 2 years. We have to wait just for the game to be in a more playable state before we actually get something worthwhile, and that's just sad.
What a cruel year for gaming indeed, I can honestly feel the heartbreak in many people who thought that this was going to be the game of the generation, the game that would stand up to other games like GTA5 and it's incredibly aggressive microtransaction fueled Online mode, and many of the Open World dribble that Ubisoft shits out all the time.
All of the many years of goodwill of CD Projekt Red thrown down the toilet, they have become the very thing that they have promised us gamers that they would be fighting against.
For shame, CD Projekt Red. For shame.
But hey, at least copies of the game come with 30 day Free Trials to HBO Max, so that's gotta count for something, right...?
Uh no, just get a refund on the game. It's not worth the spending money considering all the other much better thought-out games that cost only a fraction of it.
3/10
2019
This is one of the best Indie games I have played in quite a while. For the low price that it asks for, it was so worth it, since I am a sucker for WW1 and WW2 shooters. This is a PC game that has been ported to PS4 and Xbox One, however it runs and controls really well.
By default, it runs at 30 FPS, however you can unlock the frame rate in the settings. At first I didn't know this until someone told me about it, and you can also turn off Motion Blur and Depth of Field effects, thank God for that.
Tannenberg is a pretty skill heavy game. Unlike most other shooters, there is no aim assist, and pretty much any gun will kill you in one or two shots, even a pistol at medium to close range.
It's not like a casual shooter where you can just sprint everywhere and light up everything. You could do that if you wanted to, but that risks you running out of stamina and getting shot in the open. This game is designed to be played slower like more hardcore, realistic shooters like Squads or Insurgency.
You have to take your time and carefully plan out your advances and work together with your squad mates. Or you could just be one of THOSE guys and just sit on Artillery duty and spam objectives with gas, smoke, or recon (though everyone does get a gas mask).
Health regeneration is extremely slow (if you do manage to survive a bullet or a grenade explosion), reload times are very slow (hell, some guns can't be reloaded at all until you empty out the chamber), and all of the weapons in this game are single-shot, whereas Battlefield 1 mostly consist of fully-automatic guns.
Because there is no aim assist, this game requires you to have really good aim in order to succeed because again, single-shot weapons only, however there is a mechanic where you can hold your breath for a brief moment so you can get a better shot with just a push of a button, and you're gonna need to do this because the weapon sway is so bad that it's like your soldier is holding a gun for the very first time and is on the verge of getting severe PTSD.
But when you learn to hold your breath before each shot, and you take your time, you'll get used to it, in fact, this game has some of the most satisfying gunplay I've seen since Rainbow Six Siege.
When you hit those one shot kills, oh my God, it feels SO good. I just cannot describe how amazing it feels when you hit those insanely long range shots, it's like pulling off nasty trick shots in the old Modern Warfare 2 days.
This game is insanely realistic, and the developers nailed the historical accuracy. It feels authentic and it respects the source material, something that Battlefield 5 completely shits all over.
Everyone speaks in their native languages, they shout to each other and at enemies, and when they get shot they either cry, scream, or choke on their own blood before dying. It can be kinda gut wrenching to listen to. These battles feel grounded and immersive.
I also like how the loading screens have text that tells you about the battle that you are just about the enter, pictures and all.
If you want to make this game even more immersive and realistic, you can actually turn off the User Interface. Anything on the screen can be turned on or off: The scoreboard, the mini-map, the squad list, the ammo counter, the stamina bar, hell, even the hit markers.
You can also turn off the sound of the hit markers, increase or decrease the amount of blood and gore, increase the Field of View, change the Depth of Field, and turn on/off tutorials. You can make this game as accessible or hardcore as you want to, it's insane how much customization you have at your disposal, but there is a problem and it's the text size.
It's incredibly small, sometimes you might have to squint a little to see it. The kill feed is almost invisible it's so damn small. There is an option to make the text bigger, but.. it doesn't do anything. Is it a bug? I would assume so, and I would hope that this gets fixed because it can be a struggle to see things at times.
I really love the attention to detail with the weapons in this game. The Mosin Nagant, Karabiner 1888, Martini Henry, Gewehr 1898, Vetterli Vitali M1870, Pusca Romana M1893, Steyr M1912, M1911, Luger, they all have pretty sexy sound effects and reload animations. The fact that this game has a Mosin Nagant was reason alone for me to play the game. What can I say? I love Mosin Nagants.
Every team gets three Loadouts, but they vary on what country you're playing on. As you level up you get Loadout Points, which you use to unlock these Loadouts. They're incredibly easy to come by, you'll pretty much never run out of them.
Each Loadout is preset, meaning what you see is what you get. It's not like other games where you get to make your own custom classes. That may sound disappointing to you, but it makes sense from a realistic standpoint.
I mean, why would a German soldier run around with a Japanese Type 30 Arisaka rifle and an American M1911 pistol?
Each squad mate has a role to support each other like in Battlefield, and each role has perks that buff you.
However, it's very confusing... Even now, I am not really sure how it works 100%.
There's the Infantry class which has a whistle that can temporary buff your teammates stamina and decreases suppression, there's the Support class that drops ammo and grenade boxes, there's the Grenadier which have grenades by default and they can throw them faster and farther than anyone else, and then the last one, I really don't know what it is.
I say that because, the Role names are in a different language, so I can't read it, I'm only just guessing what each Role is based on the icon and the abilities. So I don't really know what it's meant for. I think it's supposed to be a class mainly for bayonet users, judging from the perks it has.
Then you got all the Squad perks on the far left and Uniforms and whatnot, it's all insanely off-putting, which also doesn't help that the text is miniscule, I'm still trying to figure out everything. It's like I'm looking inside a College Algebra textbook: off-putting and difficult to understand.
Bayonets are pretty stupid in this game. A single poke with it and your ass is fucked. There's actually an effective play style where people just rush with bayonets while inside of objectives zones, which is why I always have a sidearm out, because having to carefully aim at your target while they're running at you with a bayonet is nerve-wracking, and getting stabbed can be pretty frustrating at times.
The graphics are dated and the character models are hilariously goofy but who cares as long as the game plays well? Plus, you can't really fault the developer for that. They don't have a AAA budget, but what makes this game special is the amount of effort and respect that was put into it, something that many AAA developers take for granted, for the sake or pushing either identity politics or aggressive microtransactions.
They did the locations, weapons, and voice acting very well.
Tannenberg was developed by people who actually have a passion for war simulator games, the game is fun to play and has heart, unlike many AAA games these days, and it deserves so much more attention. Because it's an Indie game, it doesn't get enough recognition. It suffers from a very low player base. At most I saw around 100 people playing. The rest of the lobby is filled with bots.
But every time I log on there are always people playing, and as of a couple weeks ago, the game is now cross-platform with Xbox, so there are even more people playing.
The game has 9 maps, satisfying as shit gunplay, tons of iconic weapons, it's spot on with the realism and historical accuracy and immersion, it has a stat tracker if you care about shit like that, and the best part? No microtransactions. Yeah, hard to believe, you get everything the game offers when you buy it.
So when its full price is $20, how can I say no to that? But if the low player numbers put you off, then I suggest waiting for a sale. I do hope this game on console blows up some day, because I hooked all my friends into playing it with me and we're having a blast with it.
By default, it runs at 30 FPS, however you can unlock the frame rate in the settings. At first I didn't know this until someone told me about it, and you can also turn off Motion Blur and Depth of Field effects, thank God for that.
Tannenberg is a pretty skill heavy game. Unlike most other shooters, there is no aim assist, and pretty much any gun will kill you in one or two shots, even a pistol at medium to close range.
It's not like a casual shooter where you can just sprint everywhere and light up everything. You could do that if you wanted to, but that risks you running out of stamina and getting shot in the open. This game is designed to be played slower like more hardcore, realistic shooters like Squads or Insurgency.
You have to take your time and carefully plan out your advances and work together with your squad mates. Or you could just be one of THOSE guys and just sit on Artillery duty and spam objectives with gas, smoke, or recon (though everyone does get a gas mask).
Health regeneration is extremely slow (if you do manage to survive a bullet or a grenade explosion), reload times are very slow (hell, some guns can't be reloaded at all until you empty out the chamber), and all of the weapons in this game are single-shot, whereas Battlefield 1 mostly consist of fully-automatic guns.
Because there is no aim assist, this game requires you to have really good aim in order to succeed because again, single-shot weapons only, however there is a mechanic where you can hold your breath for a brief moment so you can get a better shot with just a push of a button, and you're gonna need to do this because the weapon sway is so bad that it's like your soldier is holding a gun for the very first time and is on the verge of getting severe PTSD.
But when you learn to hold your breath before each shot, and you take your time, you'll get used to it, in fact, this game has some of the most satisfying gunplay I've seen since Rainbow Six Siege.
When you hit those one shot kills, oh my God, it feels SO good. I just cannot describe how amazing it feels when you hit those insanely long range shots, it's like pulling off nasty trick shots in the old Modern Warfare 2 days.
This game is insanely realistic, and the developers nailed the historical accuracy. It feels authentic and it respects the source material, something that Battlefield 5 completely shits all over.
Everyone speaks in their native languages, they shout to each other and at enemies, and when they get shot they either cry, scream, or choke on their own blood before dying. It can be kinda gut wrenching to listen to. These battles feel grounded and immersive.
I also like how the loading screens have text that tells you about the battle that you are just about the enter, pictures and all.
If you want to make this game even more immersive and realistic, you can actually turn off the User Interface. Anything on the screen can be turned on or off: The scoreboard, the mini-map, the squad list, the ammo counter, the stamina bar, hell, even the hit markers.
You can also turn off the sound of the hit markers, increase or decrease the amount of blood and gore, increase the Field of View, change the Depth of Field, and turn on/off tutorials. You can make this game as accessible or hardcore as you want to, it's insane how much customization you have at your disposal, but there is a problem and it's the text size.
It's incredibly small, sometimes you might have to squint a little to see it. The kill feed is almost invisible it's so damn small. There is an option to make the text bigger, but.. it doesn't do anything. Is it a bug? I would assume so, and I would hope that this gets fixed because it can be a struggle to see things at times.
I really love the attention to detail with the weapons in this game. The Mosin Nagant, Karabiner 1888, Martini Henry, Gewehr 1898, Vetterli Vitali M1870, Pusca Romana M1893, Steyr M1912, M1911, Luger, they all have pretty sexy sound effects and reload animations. The fact that this game has a Mosin Nagant was reason alone for me to play the game. What can I say? I love Mosin Nagants.
Every team gets three Loadouts, but they vary on what country you're playing on. As you level up you get Loadout Points, which you use to unlock these Loadouts. They're incredibly easy to come by, you'll pretty much never run out of them.
Each Loadout is preset, meaning what you see is what you get. It's not like other games where you get to make your own custom classes. That may sound disappointing to you, but it makes sense from a realistic standpoint.
I mean, why would a German soldier run around with a Japanese Type 30 Arisaka rifle and an American M1911 pistol?
Each squad mate has a role to support each other like in Battlefield, and each role has perks that buff you.
However, it's very confusing... Even now, I am not really sure how it works 100%.
There's the Infantry class which has a whistle that can temporary buff your teammates stamina and decreases suppression, there's the Support class that drops ammo and grenade boxes, there's the Grenadier which have grenades by default and they can throw them faster and farther than anyone else, and then the last one, I really don't know what it is.
I say that because, the Role names are in a different language, so I can't read it, I'm only just guessing what each Role is based on the icon and the abilities. So I don't really know what it's meant for. I think it's supposed to be a class mainly for bayonet users, judging from the perks it has.
Then you got all the Squad perks on the far left and Uniforms and whatnot, it's all insanely off-putting, which also doesn't help that the text is miniscule, I'm still trying to figure out everything. It's like I'm looking inside a College Algebra textbook: off-putting and difficult to understand.
Bayonets are pretty stupid in this game. A single poke with it and your ass is fucked. There's actually an effective play style where people just rush with bayonets while inside of objectives zones, which is why I always have a sidearm out, because having to carefully aim at your target while they're running at you with a bayonet is nerve-wracking, and getting stabbed can be pretty frustrating at times.
The graphics are dated and the character models are hilariously goofy but who cares as long as the game plays well? Plus, you can't really fault the developer for that. They don't have a AAA budget, but what makes this game special is the amount of effort and respect that was put into it, something that many AAA developers take for granted, for the sake or pushing either identity politics or aggressive microtransactions.
They did the locations, weapons, and voice acting very well.
Tannenberg was developed by people who actually have a passion for war simulator games, the game is fun to play and has heart, unlike many AAA games these days, and it deserves so much more attention. Because it's an Indie game, it doesn't get enough recognition. It suffers from a very low player base. At most I saw around 100 people playing. The rest of the lobby is filled with bots.
But every time I log on there are always people playing, and as of a couple weeks ago, the game is now cross-platform with Xbox, so there are even more people playing.
The game has 9 maps, satisfying as shit gunplay, tons of iconic weapons, it's spot on with the realism and historical accuracy and immersion, it has a stat tracker if you care about shit like that, and the best part? No microtransactions. Yeah, hard to believe, you get everything the game offers when you buy it.
So when its full price is $20, how can I say no to that? But if the low player numbers put you off, then I suggest waiting for a sale. I do hope this game on console blows up some day, because I hooked all my friends into playing it with me and we're having a blast with it.
1986
Dark Castle is not a video game, and I repeat, not a video game. Dark Castle actually is a psychological bio-weapon created by an evil corporation to see how much mental anguish a person can take before they snap and transform into a suicidal crazy person.
The main character is one of the most laughable excuses of a protagonist I've ever seen in a video game. He moves around so sluggishly and awkwardly that you'd think he has some sort of mental
defficiency with a cactus shoved up his ass.
He can't even go down a single step without falling or getting dizzy, sometimes he'll even fall down stairs. It makes me believe he is running around with his goddamn shoelaces untied.
And sometimes when he has to make a jump, he'll just stop in mid-air and fall straight to his death. What?? Is the character just suicidal? Does he not want to be in this horrible game anymore? If so, I don't blame him. It's like that one line that Danny DeVito once said in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Suicide is badass!"
Sometimes you have to jump and grab ropes but he doesn't grab them and again, just commits suicide.
And he runs so slowly that it's actually faster to jump around the stage, and even then, that works against the player, because again, falling from even a few inches sends your character into a dizzying frenzy.
Pretty much every time you die is because the controls fight against you. The controls are some of the worst I've ever seen in a 2D platformer. Hell, to duck you have to hold up and press B.
I-I'm sorry?? Holding UP to DUCK? Christ.
Everything you try to do, you either die or get stun locked and it's impossible to play the game with any sort of precision. Your main weapon of defense are rocks, but they don't actually kill any of the enemies, instead they just stun them for a brief moment.
Trying to hit enemies with the rocks is a pain in the ass in itself: because you have to gradually turn your arm in a clockwise or counterclockwise fashion various degrees as if you were fuckin' using Mega Man's arm cannon. Just like the movement, aiming is slow, sluggish, and unresponsive. So by the time you get a proper aim, you're already dead, and if you do hit what you needed to hit, something is already behind you about to kill you anyway. This is especially impossible when trying to hit bats that fly around, just forget about it.
The layout design is also just abysmal. Many areas just have dead ends, a lot of them look the same, and sometimes you can even fall through trap doors that take to this one dungeon cell area, meaning you have to backtrack all the way from where you fell. Which means that it's all meant to waste time along with wasting even more time because you die repeatedly because of the impossible shitty controls, but oh man, I'll get to that.
The game is not only a time waster, but it is INSANELY annoying. The soundtrack only consists of ONE song, which is that one generic Dracula's Castle organ song that everyone is familiar with. It REALLY drones on your ears.
You can shut the music off but every time you die it gets turned back on again. And if you turn off the music while there is a note playing, it bugs out and then it sounds like the organist just slammed his face into the D key and lost conciousness.
Also for some fucked up reason there is a difficulty selection but that means literally nothing, because even on Easy Mode, the game is still impossible to play.
The enemy sound effects are so gut-wrenching to listen to. It never stops, and it's just a real pain to listen to, especially the ones that go
Nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah
NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH
NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH
God, just shut up. It never stops, it genuinely drives me insane. Then again, it kinda makes sense, because it's like the game is trolling you.
So now for the biggest insult of this entire game:
So when you start the game there are a bunch of doors in front of you that you're supposed to go into to get items to defeat the Black Knight, the main bad guy of the game. But the truth is: You don't need any of these items. All you have to do to beat the game is to just go into the door the Black Knight is in, and when you reach him, you just pull a bunch of levers and that's it, you beat the game.
That's why there are speedruns of this game on YouTube in under 3 minutes, I'm dead serious.
Is this game for real?? So all of that masochism is completely unnecessary? You go through all of that trouble of playing through all the other stages only to realize that you can beat the game in just a few minutes?? Imagine being a kid in the 90s and you were completely unaware of this. Good God you have my condolences.
And this isn't just in the Genesis version, it's in the Mac version, the Commodore version, Atari version, it doesn't matter. And no matter what platform you are playing on, the controls are still broken, your character is still pathetic, and you can beat the game as soon as you start it.
It makes me wonder why this game was even made. Oh right, to cash in on the popularity of the resurgence of Dracula movies that came out in the late 80s and throughout the 1990s.
And if that wasn't enough, they released the game on the infamous Phillips CD-i, and oh ho ho boy, it's even WORSE than the Genesis version.
The art style is even more cartoonish, the sound effects are even more irritating, and the controls are somehow even worse, I am dead fuckin' serious. You cannot, and I mean you CANNOT control the character. It would be actually easier to control UFOs to make it easier for people to spot them.
It's incredibly difficult just to get past the first screen of the first level not just because of the horrendous controls, but you also get bombarded with bats that kill you in one hit. You also get stuck on stairs a lot, and you still have to manually aim your arm cannon to hit shit with rocks. And any little goddamn pixel you drop from, you fall over and get dizzy. This is meme-worthy.
The Genesis version is indeed horrific, but the CD-i version fucks you in the ass harder than most of 2020. The whole IP in general belongs in the deepest depths of enteral damnation and must never rise again.
1/10
The main character is one of the most laughable excuses of a protagonist I've ever seen in a video game. He moves around so sluggishly and awkwardly that you'd think he has some sort of mental
defficiency with a cactus shoved up his ass.
He can't even go down a single step without falling or getting dizzy, sometimes he'll even fall down stairs. It makes me believe he is running around with his goddamn shoelaces untied.
And sometimes when he has to make a jump, he'll just stop in mid-air and fall straight to his death. What?? Is the character just suicidal? Does he not want to be in this horrible game anymore? If so, I don't blame him. It's like that one line that Danny DeVito once said in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Suicide is badass!"
Sometimes you have to jump and grab ropes but he doesn't grab them and again, just commits suicide.
And he runs so slowly that it's actually faster to jump around the stage, and even then, that works against the player, because again, falling from even a few inches sends your character into a dizzying frenzy.
Pretty much every time you die is because the controls fight against you. The controls are some of the worst I've ever seen in a 2D platformer. Hell, to duck you have to hold up and press B.
I-I'm sorry?? Holding UP to DUCK? Christ.
Everything you try to do, you either die or get stun locked and it's impossible to play the game with any sort of precision. Your main weapon of defense are rocks, but they don't actually kill any of the enemies, instead they just stun them for a brief moment.
Trying to hit enemies with the rocks is a pain in the ass in itself: because you have to gradually turn your arm in a clockwise or counterclockwise fashion various degrees as if you were fuckin' using Mega Man's arm cannon. Just like the movement, aiming is slow, sluggish, and unresponsive. So by the time you get a proper aim, you're already dead, and if you do hit what you needed to hit, something is already behind you about to kill you anyway. This is especially impossible when trying to hit bats that fly around, just forget about it.
The layout design is also just abysmal. Many areas just have dead ends, a lot of them look the same, and sometimes you can even fall through trap doors that take to this one dungeon cell area, meaning you have to backtrack all the way from where you fell. Which means that it's all meant to waste time along with wasting even more time because you die repeatedly because of the impossible shitty controls, but oh man, I'll get to that.
The game is not only a time waster, but it is INSANELY annoying. The soundtrack only consists of ONE song, which is that one generic Dracula's Castle organ song that everyone is familiar with. It REALLY drones on your ears.
You can shut the music off but every time you die it gets turned back on again. And if you turn off the music while there is a note playing, it bugs out and then it sounds like the organist just slammed his face into the D key and lost conciousness.
Also for some fucked up reason there is a difficulty selection but that means literally nothing, because even on Easy Mode, the game is still impossible to play.
The enemy sound effects are so gut-wrenching to listen to. It never stops, and it's just a real pain to listen to, especially the ones that go
Nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah
NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH
NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH
God, just shut up. It never stops, it genuinely drives me insane. Then again, it kinda makes sense, because it's like the game is trolling you.
So now for the biggest insult of this entire game:
So when you start the game there are a bunch of doors in front of you that you're supposed to go into to get items to defeat the Black Knight, the main bad guy of the game. But the truth is: You don't need any of these items. All you have to do to beat the game is to just go into the door the Black Knight is in, and when you reach him, you just pull a bunch of levers and that's it, you beat the game.
That's why there are speedruns of this game on YouTube in under 3 minutes, I'm dead serious.
Is this game for real?? So all of that masochism is completely unnecessary? You go through all of that trouble of playing through all the other stages only to realize that you can beat the game in just a few minutes?? Imagine being a kid in the 90s and you were completely unaware of this. Good God you have my condolences.
And this isn't just in the Genesis version, it's in the Mac version, the Commodore version, Atari version, it doesn't matter. And no matter what platform you are playing on, the controls are still broken, your character is still pathetic, and you can beat the game as soon as you start it.
It makes me wonder why this game was even made. Oh right, to cash in on the popularity of the resurgence of Dracula movies that came out in the late 80s and throughout the 1990s.
And if that wasn't enough, they released the game on the infamous Phillips CD-i, and oh ho ho boy, it's even WORSE than the Genesis version.
The art style is even more cartoonish, the sound effects are even more irritating, and the controls are somehow even worse, I am dead fuckin' serious. You cannot, and I mean you CANNOT control the character. It would be actually easier to control UFOs to make it easier for people to spot them.
It's incredibly difficult just to get past the first screen of the first level not just because of the horrendous controls, but you also get bombarded with bats that kill you in one hit. You also get stuck on stairs a lot, and you still have to manually aim your arm cannon to hit shit with rocks. And any little goddamn pixel you drop from, you fall over and get dizzy. This is meme-worthy.
The Genesis version is indeed horrific, but the CD-i version fucks you in the ass harder than most of 2020. The whole IP in general belongs in the deepest depths of enteral damnation and must never rise again.
1/10
2001
This is a so called "racing game" that was developed by the same people that gave us the "masterpiece" that is Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. This game isn't as bad as that game but it's still shit. This isn't even a fuckin' racing game. All you do in the game is pick up pedestrians and bring them wherever they tell you to go.
The driving physics are simply broken and turning is pretty much impossible to do. Not only is turning a pain in the ass to do, but almost every time you make a turn, you hit a wall. And when you hold down the acceleration, the car goes faster and faster to the point that it's like it has a jet engine on the back of it, it's faster than a Ferrari 275 for god sake.
And colliding with a building just sends it to an instant complete stop. Also, when you pull the handbrake, the car can also come to an instantaneous complete stop. I guess the developers didn't really understand how cars fucking work.
Also, when you hit street lights or trees, they just disappear from existence rather than just falling over, and your car is completely undamaged. It's not actually possible to destroy the car, you can drive through as many street lights and trees as you want to and not damage the car. Slamming 250 MPH into a building does nothing either, and there is no sound effect for hitting anything other than a street light or a tree. What is that logic?? And sometimes when you crash into a building, it also either crashes the game, or softlocks you.
The hit detection is also broken as well. Even if you are nowhere near the street lights or trees, you will still hit them, meaning you will be hearing that crashing sound for them over and over and over again, it will drive you fucking mad.
This is one of the ugliest games I have ever seen. This is a PC game from 2001 but it looks worse than 3D games that have come out on the Atari Jaguar. It looks like the developers just took a bunch of low quality JPEGs from 1995 Internet Explorer and slapped them into the game.
The building textures, the sky box, the water, and the cars you drive, they all look like JPEGs. The water looks especially awful. The clouds and the water also do not move. Also, when you drive off-road, you can actually see that some of the water doesn't even connect to the land, it's embarrassing.
The city is also completely empty. There are no pedestrians aside from the one pedestrian you have to pick up, which also looks like shit, and there are almost no other cars driving around. It's like that one episode of The Twilight Zone where this guy is the last man walking around on Earth. It's like a game where your character is suffering from chronic loneliness and he is trying to find humanity in himself by being a taxi driver, and all of the pedestrians that he picks up are just illusions in his mind.
This is one of the worst games ever, but it must have been a sick sense of foreshadowing, because the games this developer studio made later on were even worse than this. And I get a kick out of this because Big Rigs would probably not have existed without this game. So thank you. Game is still shit by the way.
1/10
The driving physics are simply broken and turning is pretty much impossible to do. Not only is turning a pain in the ass to do, but almost every time you make a turn, you hit a wall. And when you hold down the acceleration, the car goes faster and faster to the point that it's like it has a jet engine on the back of it, it's faster than a Ferrari 275 for god sake.
And colliding with a building just sends it to an instant complete stop. Also, when you pull the handbrake, the car can also come to an instantaneous complete stop. I guess the developers didn't really understand how cars fucking work.
Also, when you hit street lights or trees, they just disappear from existence rather than just falling over, and your car is completely undamaged. It's not actually possible to destroy the car, you can drive through as many street lights and trees as you want to and not damage the car. Slamming 250 MPH into a building does nothing either, and there is no sound effect for hitting anything other than a street light or a tree. What is that logic?? And sometimes when you crash into a building, it also either crashes the game, or softlocks you.
The hit detection is also broken as well. Even if you are nowhere near the street lights or trees, you will still hit them, meaning you will be hearing that crashing sound for them over and over and over again, it will drive you fucking mad.
This is one of the ugliest games I have ever seen. This is a PC game from 2001 but it looks worse than 3D games that have come out on the Atari Jaguar. It looks like the developers just took a bunch of low quality JPEGs from 1995 Internet Explorer and slapped them into the game.
The building textures, the sky box, the water, and the cars you drive, they all look like JPEGs. The water looks especially awful. The clouds and the water also do not move. Also, when you drive off-road, you can actually see that some of the water doesn't even connect to the land, it's embarrassing.
The city is also completely empty. There are no pedestrians aside from the one pedestrian you have to pick up, which also looks like shit, and there are almost no other cars driving around. It's like that one episode of The Twilight Zone where this guy is the last man walking around on Earth. It's like a game where your character is suffering from chronic loneliness and he is trying to find humanity in himself by being a taxi driver, and all of the pedestrians that he picks up are just illusions in his mind.
This is one of the worst games ever, but it must have been a sick sense of foreshadowing, because the games this developer studio made later on were even worse than this. And I get a kick out of this because Big Rigs would probably not have existed without this game. So thank you. Game is still shit by the way.
1/10
2004
This is one of the most broken games that has ever been made, and this is mostly due to the fact that the developer ran out of funds to polish the game after the publisher were on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. Combine that with the fact that the game had a development team of around 7 people, and you have a recipe for disaster.
For starters, if you try to run this game on Windows 7 or higher, it will refuse to even load up. This is because every time a cutscene has to load, you'll be met with an infinite black screen. So if you remove all of the cutscenes from its folder, the game will work like normal, but even then, the game crashes all the time, and it's actually impossible to even finish it for most people, which I'll get into later. The game works fine on Vista, but any operating system other than that will require you to remove the cutscenes from the game.
[STORY]
The crazy thing is, the concept of this game is really interesting. The story of this game actually gets my attention, but it's ruined by just how awfully it's presented. The character models look like shit aside from the protagonist, the graphics are ugly as fuck, the voice acting is a disgrace, the pacing is all over the place, there are countless exposition dumps, and it just doesn't make any sense sometimes. Not to mention the levels barely correlate with the story, nor are they connected to each other, which just makes the story even more confusing than it already is. One level you'll be in a research facility, but then the next level is in either Hell, or in a stage that looks like a Looney Tunes cartoon shooting at cartoon characters with little explanation, I'm not kidding. And then the next level after that will be semi-open world in Central Park with insane amounts of backtracking. This game is just batshit fucking insane, it reminds me a lot of the Postal games.
The level design is like this because the developers did not want all of the them to look similar to each other, so each stage was designed differently in tone, and I can kind of understand that, but that just makes the tone of the game a jumbled mess, it's just incredibly inconsistent.
[CORE GAMEPLAY]
This is a First-Person Shooter, and just like the story, the core gameplay mechanics are busted. The hit detection is wonky, and the AI are totally braindead. They stand in one spot and just let you riddle them with bullets. And if they're holding a melee weapon, they charge at you head-on with no sense of logic. Sometimes they'll do a cartwheel... to dodge bullets. Very smart indeed.
The AI can go from braindead to physic cybernetic beings that know your exact positioning at all times, because the moment you turn a corner, they automatically shoot at you with insane accuracy.
The game also has a leaning mechanic, but not only can you lean only if you're against a wall, but you can't actually shoot while leaning, so what was the point of adding it in?? Instead, the leaning is used to see who's around the corner, as if the game was supposed to have stealth mechanics, considering the fact that you get a pistol and an SMG with suppressors.
The game also has supernatural abilities similar to Remedy's Control (PS4, 2019) such as self-healing, invisibility, slow-motion, and a shield. But there is are two major problems with this. The first problem is that you can only use these abilities in limited quantity, because they don't recharge. Instead you have to find items in the stage to use them more, but they're rare throughout, which means you have to conserve them, but you're never gonna know when you have to use them, which means that you will restarting a stage a lot either because you are forced to, or you are inevitably killed. It's trial and error and it's repetitive.
The second issue is that the balance of these powers are shot to shit as well, and some of them just break the game entirely. The healing is almost pointless, because it's a waste when you have to use it because the AI can just laser you as soon as you are in their line of sight. The invisibility is pretty much broken because enemies either never see you or they'll still see you regardless, so again, trial and error. The slow-motion is borderline pointless, because it creates an insane blur effect that will make your eyes fucking ooze blood. Also, if you die while the slow-motion is active, the game will crash. Always.
The shield is also pointless because you can't see enemy gunfire, nor is there any feedback to it getting shot, so you'll just be wasting your power meter because you don't even know if you're getting shot.
[GAME BREAKING BUGS]
So if you even manage to get the game to run, it is buggy as fuck. There are issues like camera clipping, sound effect bugs, weapon misalignment, falling through the map and dying in some areas, the FOV is absolutely appalling, enemies getting stuck standing up when they die, and there are constant amounts of crashing. It crashes sometimes when you try to load a save file, it crashes when you die while in slow-motion, it can crash during cutscenes, etc. And you wanna know the worst part? The game is unbeatable. Well, for most people, and this is where it gets interesting.
So what do I mean by that? Well, there is a stage later on in the game where as soon as it starts, you die. There is no way to get past it, because even if you use the console to fix this bug, you will get met with an error window called "Open GL Error: #436." There is no way to fix this bug, and there is no way to skip this level. Period. End of story. It is ultimately because of a software breaking bug where the DRM would read the copy of the game as pirated and you can't continue, and it is an issue that persists even to this day. There are copies of the game where the bug does not exist, but those are insanely rare. The only way to fix it is if the developer were to terminate the DRM entirely, but that never happened, because the studio disbanded many, many years ago, so many copies of the game still remain unbeatable. However, you can still watch the rest of the game on YouTube. This is a game that I came across randomly on YouTube and I wanted to research it and then play it myself. Yes, I'm not joking, I played this game. I still own a desktop with Windows Vista. You can find copies of this game on eBay for like $10, but the copy I own is unfinishable.
I really, really wanted to experience this game after watching people play and talk about it, so in a sick sense of curiosity, I wanted to play this game myself just to see how bad it really was. And yeah, this is definitely one of the worst games I've ever played, but the development team did have a ton of fun making this game despite all of the hardships, and they did move on years later to assist in game development for AAA companies such as Square Enix, so that's cool. A good ending for a game that saw the light of day but never reached its full potential.
For starters, if you try to run this game on Windows 7 or higher, it will refuse to even load up. This is because every time a cutscene has to load, you'll be met with an infinite black screen. So if you remove all of the cutscenes from its folder, the game will work like normal, but even then, the game crashes all the time, and it's actually impossible to even finish it for most people, which I'll get into later. The game works fine on Vista, but any operating system other than that will require you to remove the cutscenes from the game.
[STORY]
The crazy thing is, the concept of this game is really interesting. The story of this game actually gets my attention, but it's ruined by just how awfully it's presented. The character models look like shit aside from the protagonist, the graphics are ugly as fuck, the voice acting is a disgrace, the pacing is all over the place, there are countless exposition dumps, and it just doesn't make any sense sometimes. Not to mention the levels barely correlate with the story, nor are they connected to each other, which just makes the story even more confusing than it already is. One level you'll be in a research facility, but then the next level is in either Hell, or in a stage that looks like a Looney Tunes cartoon shooting at cartoon characters with little explanation, I'm not kidding. And then the next level after that will be semi-open world in Central Park with insane amounts of backtracking. This game is just batshit fucking insane, it reminds me a lot of the Postal games.
The level design is like this because the developers did not want all of the them to look similar to each other, so each stage was designed differently in tone, and I can kind of understand that, but that just makes the tone of the game a jumbled mess, it's just incredibly inconsistent.
[CORE GAMEPLAY]
This is a First-Person Shooter, and just like the story, the core gameplay mechanics are busted. The hit detection is wonky, and the AI are totally braindead. They stand in one spot and just let you riddle them with bullets. And if they're holding a melee weapon, they charge at you head-on with no sense of logic. Sometimes they'll do a cartwheel... to dodge bullets. Very smart indeed.
The AI can go from braindead to physic cybernetic beings that know your exact positioning at all times, because the moment you turn a corner, they automatically shoot at you with insane accuracy.
The game also has a leaning mechanic, but not only can you lean only if you're against a wall, but you can't actually shoot while leaning, so what was the point of adding it in?? Instead, the leaning is used to see who's around the corner, as if the game was supposed to have stealth mechanics, considering the fact that you get a pistol and an SMG with suppressors.
The game also has supernatural abilities similar to Remedy's Control (PS4, 2019) such as self-healing, invisibility, slow-motion, and a shield. But there is are two major problems with this. The first problem is that you can only use these abilities in limited quantity, because they don't recharge. Instead you have to find items in the stage to use them more, but they're rare throughout, which means you have to conserve them, but you're never gonna know when you have to use them, which means that you will restarting a stage a lot either because you are forced to, or you are inevitably killed. It's trial and error and it's repetitive.
The second issue is that the balance of these powers are shot to shit as well, and some of them just break the game entirely. The healing is almost pointless, because it's a waste when you have to use it because the AI can just laser you as soon as you are in their line of sight. The invisibility is pretty much broken because enemies either never see you or they'll still see you regardless, so again, trial and error. The slow-motion is borderline pointless, because it creates an insane blur effect that will make your eyes fucking ooze blood. Also, if you die while the slow-motion is active, the game will crash. Always.
The shield is also pointless because you can't see enemy gunfire, nor is there any feedback to it getting shot, so you'll just be wasting your power meter because you don't even know if you're getting shot.
[GAME BREAKING BUGS]
So if you even manage to get the game to run, it is buggy as fuck. There are issues like camera clipping, sound effect bugs, weapon misalignment, falling through the map and dying in some areas, the FOV is absolutely appalling, enemies getting stuck standing up when they die, and there are constant amounts of crashing. It crashes sometimes when you try to load a save file, it crashes when you die while in slow-motion, it can crash during cutscenes, etc. And you wanna know the worst part? The game is unbeatable. Well, for most people, and this is where it gets interesting.
So what do I mean by that? Well, there is a stage later on in the game where as soon as it starts, you die. There is no way to get past it, because even if you use the console to fix this bug, you will get met with an error window called "Open GL Error: #436." There is no way to fix this bug, and there is no way to skip this level. Period. End of story. It is ultimately because of a software breaking bug where the DRM would read the copy of the game as pirated and you can't continue, and it is an issue that persists even to this day. There are copies of the game where the bug does not exist, but those are insanely rare. The only way to fix it is if the developer were to terminate the DRM entirely, but that never happened, because the studio disbanded many, many years ago, so many copies of the game still remain unbeatable. However, you can still watch the rest of the game on YouTube. This is a game that I came across randomly on YouTube and I wanted to research it and then play it myself. Yes, I'm not joking, I played this game. I still own a desktop with Windows Vista. You can find copies of this game on eBay for like $10, but the copy I own is unfinishable.
I really, really wanted to experience this game after watching people play and talk about it, so in a sick sense of curiosity, I wanted to play this game myself just to see how bad it really was. And yeah, this is definitely one of the worst games I've ever played, but the development team did have a ton of fun making this game despite all of the hardships, and they did move on years later to assist in game development for AAA companies such as Square Enix, so that's cool. A good ending for a game that saw the light of day but never reached its full potential.
1988
Goddamn it I hate this game, especially compared to the first Final Fantasy game. It's just a step down in every way that it's almost impossible to find redeeming qualities about it. Especially when you consider that the PS1 version of this game is a 2003 remake of the 1988 NES game. By 2003, this game is insanely outdated compared to many other games that have come out in the 90s.
[STORY]
The storytelling in this game is almost non-existent. It's bland, it's forgettable, and there's zero character development. Every character acts the same from beginning to end, so when I reached a moment where a character dies, I just could not care. Even the main character Firion has no traits and he doesn't stand out from the rest of the characters.
The party doesn't do anything that would make any sort of impact to the plot, but rather, they're just blank slates that just flow through the motions as everything happens.
Even the first Final Fantasy game, despite characters not having any names or dialogue at all, still felt more believable because it was up to you as a player to use your imagination and give personalities to each character.
FFII is the first FF game to have named characters with "thoughts and feelings", and they might as well have not had this to begin with, because the characters don't have any personality. It's no wonder why they went back to the FFI character style in FFIII, because even back then these characters suck when you compared them to other JRPG characters at the time.
There was one moment where Guy, yes his name is GUY, reveals in a stunning revelation that he can...speak beaver. Yeah it's stupid but that is most amount of character growth you're gonna get in this entire game.
The four characters you play as in Soul of Rebirth are better but that's not saying much. They barely have anything that separate them from each other. The Emperor is cool looking but he doesn't have any traits besides just being a bad guy for bad guy sake.
And just cause this game originally came out on the NES does not mean they could have not remade the story and the gameplay. It's a 2003 PS1 remake, so you would think they would rework everything and not just the graphics and soundtrack.
By 2003 we got Final Fantasy IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Xenogears, Parasite Eve 1, Kingdom Hearts 1, and Vagrant Story. All of these games have masterfully crafted stories with good or even excellent gameplay, and the themes of each game are handled very well. So what is FFII's excuse? It's outdated as hell in comparison.
There's also a mechanic where you learn key words and then you talk to people and ask them about that specific key word to advance the story, which also sounds like a pretty interesting idea, but just like everything else in this game, it's shit.
The only time it ever works is when you talk to a very specific person and ask them about that very specific word. Talk to anyone else and they'll just look at you like they don't know what the hell you're talking about.
And the ending of the game is not worth the amount of tedious grinding that you are forced to do. You beat the bad guy, the world is saved, you return back home and that's pretty much it, typical NES ending fashion.
[GAMEPLAY]
This game has easily one of the most broken and repetitive gameplay loops I've ever seen in a JRPG. The amount of times you go back to Altair after something important happens is enough to drive me mad. It's bad enough that the story is insanely bland which just makes the gameplay drag on even more.
They got rid of Experience Points and Levels in this game. Instead, your party's stats would increase after a battle depending on what actions they take during the fight.
For example, if you casted a lot of magic, your Magic Points would increase. Take a lot of damage, your HP increases. Use a sword a certain amount of times, your efficiency with that weapon type increases, meaning you can hit more accurately and deal more damage.
And when you cast a spell a certain number of times, it upgrades and becomes stronger. And this is a pretty good idea on paper but it's executed very very poorly.
Not only does it feel boring to get stat increases because of how frequently it happens, but it's one of the most tedious and exploitable game mechanics, and this is where you can just break the whole game as soon as you start it.
See, your stats don't actually increase by the actions taken during battle, but instead, they increase when you SELECT the action you want to do. So instead of hitting enemies with a sword or casting a spell on them and dealing damage, you still get the stat increases when simply selecting that specific action. Also, the actions don't execute unless you enter in the commands for EVERY party member.
Know what that means? You can get an insane multiplier to your stats and spell upgrades by just selecting the action and cancelling it. Over and over and over and over and over again. Select, Cancel, Select, Cancel.
X, Circle, X, Circle, X, Circle, X Circle, just non-stop, and I swear to God you can fully max out your magic spells and weapon efficiencies by just doing this, and this totally breaks the game, because you can get overpowered as soon as you even start the fucking game.
I'm pretty sure this is a bug. It's in the NES version, and I don't know how this got past testing for the PS1 version, but it's here, which just tells me how little of a shit the developers gave about this game.
And just because it's in the game doesn't mean that you can make the excuse of "Well then just don't use it." Because it's not the fault of the player if they want to use it to breeze through the game because of how poorly designed it is.
That's like telling someone not to use money glitches or mod menus to get money in GTA Online when it's been factually proven that the game is designed to be a boring, monotonous, frustrating, and straight up broken grind just to get people to invest in microtransactions. It's like playing the game like it's a second job. At that point I don't blame people who cheat to get money, it's better than spending real world money on that broken game.
If anything I should be grateful that this X Circle shit in FFII exists, which just makes the painful grind less tedious, but even then, having to mash X and Circle every single fight will really test your patience. I don't think I have played a game as boring as this.
Also, you really should do this. Because every magic spell starts at Level 1. And as they level up, they deal more damage and are more accurate. And these spells are PITIFUL at low levels. They either deal no damage or they miss all the fucking time. Because even the fucking Life spell at a low level can miss the target. Dude, the party member is DEAD, how does the Life spell fucking miss?!
This means that you HAVE to grind them out, and there are 16 levels for every single magic spell. So that means you gotta grind out every single individual spell in order to get them strong enough to be actually viable.
And since every party member can learn any magic spell, that means that you have to grind out the spell for each party member that learns it. If you want to give the Cure spell to both Firion and Maria, you gotta grind the spell out TWICE. You want Life for Firion, Maria, and Guy? Grind that spell out THREE times over.
Also, characters are not restricted to what weaponry they can use, so you may as well just slap swords and axes on all of them, since they're the strongest weapon types.
Despite what I said about magic, a lot of the magic spells suck ass in this game. Most of the spells that deal damage to enemies actually do much less damage than physical attacks, especially when you get two spells called Haste and Aura, which buff your Attack Power.
Even a max level Ultima, which is the strongest Black Magic spell in the game, still does less damage than a max level physical attack with a max level Haste and Aura combo.
There is also a magic spell called Blink which increases Evasion by a fuck ton, making it impossible for enemies to hit you.
Haste, Aura, Blink, Cure, Esuna, and Life. These are the only spells that are actually useful.
This means that every boss fight in the game is a total cakewalk and only requires one single strategy to beat them.
You start the fight, you cast Haste, Aura, and Blink on all the party members, since all of these spells are multi-target, then just spam the attack button. And then cast Cure if do you run low on health. And use Life if a party member does die. That's all it takes to beat the game. There is no variation on strategy since every boss can just be beaten the exact same way.
Because if you tried to play the game normally, the bosses would be frustrating to beat, not without at least upgrading your weapon efficiencies, which requires hours of repetitive, slow grinding. Because if you don't grind the fuck out, then your attacks are so weak that it's like you're using toy weaponry, so you're forced to use the Select and Cancel method to make that grind easier.
You either cheat the game or the game cheats you. That's just how it is.
There is no post game content to speak of. Once you beat this game you're pretty much done with it, then again, I don't know why you would keep playing this shit after you beat it anyway.
[SOUNDTRACK]
The music in this game is really the only good thing I can say about it. The soundtrack was remade, and it's excellent to listen to. The battle theme, both boss themes, the final boss theme, the dungeon theme, the world map theme, the Pandemonium theme, these songs are all awesome. Some of these tracks are among the best in the series, especially the boss themes. But the lack of songs in the soundtrack does make it repetitive. After a while you'll get tired of hearing the same songs playing repeatedly throughout the whole game.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
As you see I really did not enjoy this game,
this is among the bottom of the barrel for the FF series. I played the PS1 remake all the way back for the first time in the late 2000s, and after I beat it the first time I never played it again until recently, which was the PSP remake. And believe it or not, the PSP version is exactly the same as the PS1 and NES versions. The spell balance, the X and Circle trick, the same story, same soundtrack, all of it is the same. It's just another port with prettier graphics and animations. Why??
Why do they keep re-releasing this game yet they never change anything?? That shit just blows my mind, it's something that I don't understand and never will. Good God this game fucking sucks, I hate it even more than Lightning Returns Final Fantasy XIII. And after talking about Final Fantasy II, I might just go play that instead.
3/10
[STORY]
The storytelling in this game is almost non-existent. It's bland, it's forgettable, and there's zero character development. Every character acts the same from beginning to end, so when I reached a moment where a character dies, I just could not care. Even the main character Firion has no traits and he doesn't stand out from the rest of the characters.
The party doesn't do anything that would make any sort of impact to the plot, but rather, they're just blank slates that just flow through the motions as everything happens.
Even the first Final Fantasy game, despite characters not having any names or dialogue at all, still felt more believable because it was up to you as a player to use your imagination and give personalities to each character.
FFII is the first FF game to have named characters with "thoughts and feelings", and they might as well have not had this to begin with, because the characters don't have any personality. It's no wonder why they went back to the FFI character style in FFIII, because even back then these characters suck when you compared them to other JRPG characters at the time.
There was one moment where Guy, yes his name is GUY, reveals in a stunning revelation that he can...speak beaver. Yeah it's stupid but that is most amount of character growth you're gonna get in this entire game.
The four characters you play as in Soul of Rebirth are better but that's not saying much. They barely have anything that separate them from each other. The Emperor is cool looking but he doesn't have any traits besides just being a bad guy for bad guy sake.
And just cause this game originally came out on the NES does not mean they could have not remade the story and the gameplay. It's a 2003 PS1 remake, so you would think they would rework everything and not just the graphics and soundtrack.
By 2003 we got Final Fantasy IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Xenogears, Parasite Eve 1, Kingdom Hearts 1, and Vagrant Story. All of these games have masterfully crafted stories with good or even excellent gameplay, and the themes of each game are handled very well. So what is FFII's excuse? It's outdated as hell in comparison.
There's also a mechanic where you learn key words and then you talk to people and ask them about that specific key word to advance the story, which also sounds like a pretty interesting idea, but just like everything else in this game, it's shit.
The only time it ever works is when you talk to a very specific person and ask them about that very specific word. Talk to anyone else and they'll just look at you like they don't know what the hell you're talking about.
And the ending of the game is not worth the amount of tedious grinding that you are forced to do. You beat the bad guy, the world is saved, you return back home and that's pretty much it, typical NES ending fashion.
[GAMEPLAY]
This game has easily one of the most broken and repetitive gameplay loops I've ever seen in a JRPG. The amount of times you go back to Altair after something important happens is enough to drive me mad. It's bad enough that the story is insanely bland which just makes the gameplay drag on even more.
They got rid of Experience Points and Levels in this game. Instead, your party's stats would increase after a battle depending on what actions they take during the fight.
For example, if you casted a lot of magic, your Magic Points would increase. Take a lot of damage, your HP increases. Use a sword a certain amount of times, your efficiency with that weapon type increases, meaning you can hit more accurately and deal more damage.
And when you cast a spell a certain number of times, it upgrades and becomes stronger. And this is a pretty good idea on paper but it's executed very very poorly.
Not only does it feel boring to get stat increases because of how frequently it happens, but it's one of the most tedious and exploitable game mechanics, and this is where you can just break the whole game as soon as you start it.
See, your stats don't actually increase by the actions taken during battle, but instead, they increase when you SELECT the action you want to do. So instead of hitting enemies with a sword or casting a spell on them and dealing damage, you still get the stat increases when simply selecting that specific action. Also, the actions don't execute unless you enter in the commands for EVERY party member.
Know what that means? You can get an insane multiplier to your stats and spell upgrades by just selecting the action and cancelling it. Over and over and over and over and over again. Select, Cancel, Select, Cancel.
X, Circle, X, Circle, X, Circle, X Circle, just non-stop, and I swear to God you can fully max out your magic spells and weapon efficiencies by just doing this, and this totally breaks the game, because you can get overpowered as soon as you even start the fucking game.
I'm pretty sure this is a bug. It's in the NES version, and I don't know how this got past testing for the PS1 version, but it's here, which just tells me how little of a shit the developers gave about this game.
And just because it's in the game doesn't mean that you can make the excuse of "Well then just don't use it." Because it's not the fault of the player if they want to use it to breeze through the game because of how poorly designed it is.
That's like telling someone not to use money glitches or mod menus to get money in GTA Online when it's been factually proven that the game is designed to be a boring, monotonous, frustrating, and straight up broken grind just to get people to invest in microtransactions. It's like playing the game like it's a second job. At that point I don't blame people who cheat to get money, it's better than spending real world money on that broken game.
If anything I should be grateful that this X Circle shit in FFII exists, which just makes the painful grind less tedious, but even then, having to mash X and Circle every single fight will really test your patience. I don't think I have played a game as boring as this.
Also, you really should do this. Because every magic spell starts at Level 1. And as they level up, they deal more damage and are more accurate. And these spells are PITIFUL at low levels. They either deal no damage or they miss all the fucking time. Because even the fucking Life spell at a low level can miss the target. Dude, the party member is DEAD, how does the Life spell fucking miss?!
This means that you HAVE to grind them out, and there are 16 levels for every single magic spell. So that means you gotta grind out every single individual spell in order to get them strong enough to be actually viable.
And since every party member can learn any magic spell, that means that you have to grind out the spell for each party member that learns it. If you want to give the Cure spell to both Firion and Maria, you gotta grind the spell out TWICE. You want Life for Firion, Maria, and Guy? Grind that spell out THREE times over.
Also, characters are not restricted to what weaponry they can use, so you may as well just slap swords and axes on all of them, since they're the strongest weapon types.
Despite what I said about magic, a lot of the magic spells suck ass in this game. Most of the spells that deal damage to enemies actually do much less damage than physical attacks, especially when you get two spells called Haste and Aura, which buff your Attack Power.
Even a max level Ultima, which is the strongest Black Magic spell in the game, still does less damage than a max level physical attack with a max level Haste and Aura combo.
There is also a magic spell called Blink which increases Evasion by a fuck ton, making it impossible for enemies to hit you.
Haste, Aura, Blink, Cure, Esuna, and Life. These are the only spells that are actually useful.
This means that every boss fight in the game is a total cakewalk and only requires one single strategy to beat them.
You start the fight, you cast Haste, Aura, and Blink on all the party members, since all of these spells are multi-target, then just spam the attack button. And then cast Cure if do you run low on health. And use Life if a party member does die. That's all it takes to beat the game. There is no variation on strategy since every boss can just be beaten the exact same way.
Because if you tried to play the game normally, the bosses would be frustrating to beat, not without at least upgrading your weapon efficiencies, which requires hours of repetitive, slow grinding. Because if you don't grind the fuck out, then your attacks are so weak that it's like you're using toy weaponry, so you're forced to use the Select and Cancel method to make that grind easier.
You either cheat the game or the game cheats you. That's just how it is.
There is no post game content to speak of. Once you beat this game you're pretty much done with it, then again, I don't know why you would keep playing this shit after you beat it anyway.
[SOUNDTRACK]
The music in this game is really the only good thing I can say about it. The soundtrack was remade, and it's excellent to listen to. The battle theme, both boss themes, the final boss theme, the dungeon theme, the world map theme, the Pandemonium theme, these songs are all awesome. Some of these tracks are among the best in the series, especially the boss themes. But the lack of songs in the soundtrack does make it repetitive. After a while you'll get tired of hearing the same songs playing repeatedly throughout the whole game.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
As you see I really did not enjoy this game,
this is among the bottom of the barrel for the FF series. I played the PS1 remake all the way back for the first time in the late 2000s, and after I beat it the first time I never played it again until recently, which was the PSP remake. And believe it or not, the PSP version is exactly the same as the PS1 and NES versions. The spell balance, the X and Circle trick, the same story, same soundtrack, all of it is the same. It's just another port with prettier graphics and animations. Why??
Why do they keep re-releasing this game yet they never change anything?? That shit just blows my mind, it's something that I don't understand and never will. Good God this game fucking sucks, I hate it even more than Lightning Returns Final Fantasy XIII. And after talking about Final Fantasy II, I might just go play that instead.
3/10
2018
Easily one of the worst games ever created and this is all due to one man's lunacy. It's a game that completely disregards both disabilities and the art form of making games.
The Quiet Man is a game that is completely silent, which just completely ruins the player experience. You cannot hear anything, and there are no subtitles, none for people that are speaking, and none for signs. That is until a patch came out later that put the sound back in but I'll talk about that later. Because the game has no sound, you will not understand anything that is going on throughout.
It's a beat em' up game with hilariously bad animations and wonky hit registration. The graphics are murky, and it just looks ugly as all hell. Even if the fighting mechanics were well crafted, it doesn't matter because again, you can't fucking hear anything. Also the game is extremely formulaic.
It goes like this: Cutscene, then you walk into a room, you fight some guys, then walk into another room, fight some more guys, then another cutscene, then some more fighting gameplay, and then another cutscene. And it just goes on and on until the game is finished. Repetition is putting it lightly.
The lack of all the audio is the fault of Kensei Fujinaka, the game's Producer. I'd like to quote some things that he said in an interview as to why the game is like this, and it makes so little fucking sense that you can't help but just laugh at it.
"Words are truly amazing. They possess the power even to change the world. This is undeniable. For me, words are as precious as they are valuable. That said, I believe we as humans are capable of connections that transcend words - for example, an infant need only to look into the mother's eyes to know he is safe and loved.
And in a world that overflows with cascades of words taken for granted. I can't help but think that it's often difficult to realize such connections exist. Words shape consciousness, indeed, some even say that "words are life." But what if we were to cast away such a life? What if somehow, we were able to understand one another through connections formed heart to heart, soul to soul, and could once again look into another's eyes and form a bond so pure?
This concept lies at the core of The Quiet Man. Feelings that remain after words are abandoned, feelings that can be conveyed even without words - aren't these the feelings that are so important in this life?"
So if you have no idea what you just read and if you don't understand how that relates to the context of this game, then let me answer that for you: It fucking doesn't. Kensei Fujinaka has made a game that doesn't even reflect to what the hell he is even saying.
Words are not sound, but this game HAS words. They're used as a form of communication just like me and you do. The presentation of the game is void of words, but only because it is void of SOUND.
The main character Dane, can clearly speak, even though the premise of the game is that he's deaf. And while he does at times act like a deaf person should, we can't hear him or anyone else ourselves. Basically, this Producer made a game that clashes with his own ideology and just misses the point entirely. The guy just doesn't understand how being deaf actually fuckin' works.
If I was a deaf person I would be pretty fucking insulted because of how poorly this game portrays what it's actually like to be deaf. There is no attempt whatsoever to educate on what it's like to live without one of your senses. It just presents itself and expects the player to make sense of its ridiculousness without giving any necessary context to how a deaf person perceives the world around them.
So instead, it feels like you were just robbed of one of your senses at random and you have to navigate yourself without the necessary preparation a deaf person has had beforehand. It just blows my mind that a game like this was even made.
The intent of this game was to put us into the shoes of Dane, but it doesn't work because Dane knows what is going on, but we DON'T, and there lies the problem. The gameplay only serves as a driver for the story in order to excuse itself as a video game.
This game is not just an insult to deaf people, but it's also an insult to both game narratives and game development as a whole, because everything in this game is DELIBERATE.
The funny thing is though, even when the sound is turned back on, it's still extremely hard to make sense of the story. It's a revenge story that doesn't make any sense. The voice acting is awful, the presentation is crappy, and it has twist ending that involves Dane...transforming into a superhero.
...What?
Anyway, a week after this game came out, a patch was released that put the sound back in. And after that, Producer Kensei Fujinaka responds to all of the negative reception, and if you thought the first quote was nonsensical, holy fuck it pales in comparison to this quote, in what can only be described as utterly ass-backwards:
"What really happened on that fated night... If the truth is indeed which that remains after words are thrown away, then can we resist the powers of reality that is spun from these words? I want to find what is truly important, without being misled by these overflowing words.
And with only that, do I honestly want to look at it carefully. That wish has driven me to make a story without words. However, when making this theme, that just wasn't enough. Yes, it really felt like "half" was missing. Approximately one week after release, via a free patch update, The Quiet Man will be reborn. A second version with sound and words called The Quiet Man: Answered.
The story will bring light to the truth, and maybe even uproot the mystery that was thought to have been solved as if to say, "I knew nothing at all..." The first version that threw words away. The second version, that brought words back in. A story dramatically transformed. This is the completed experience.
And so with everyone, I want to ask this: Can we really be strong to say we do not need words, even if we need them? In a word overflowing with words, can we really find something beyond them?"
And there you have it. A game created by a person with an over-inflated ego that has attempted to shit all over the artistial integrity of stories and video game development. A person who doesn't even understand his own ideology. This level of gross incompetence can only be described as meme-worthy.
Thank you Fujinaka for showing us just how much you have no fucking idea how to make video games and write stories. Maybe you should join Hollywood instead, they don't really have any standards whatsoever.
1/10
The Quiet Man is a game that is completely silent, which just completely ruins the player experience. You cannot hear anything, and there are no subtitles, none for people that are speaking, and none for signs. That is until a patch came out later that put the sound back in but I'll talk about that later. Because the game has no sound, you will not understand anything that is going on throughout.
It's a beat em' up game with hilariously bad animations and wonky hit registration. The graphics are murky, and it just looks ugly as all hell. Even if the fighting mechanics were well crafted, it doesn't matter because again, you can't fucking hear anything. Also the game is extremely formulaic.
It goes like this: Cutscene, then you walk into a room, you fight some guys, then walk into another room, fight some more guys, then another cutscene, then some more fighting gameplay, and then another cutscene. And it just goes on and on until the game is finished. Repetition is putting it lightly.
The lack of all the audio is the fault of Kensei Fujinaka, the game's Producer. I'd like to quote some things that he said in an interview as to why the game is like this, and it makes so little fucking sense that you can't help but just laugh at it.
"Words are truly amazing. They possess the power even to change the world. This is undeniable. For me, words are as precious as they are valuable. That said, I believe we as humans are capable of connections that transcend words - for example, an infant need only to look into the mother's eyes to know he is safe and loved.
And in a world that overflows with cascades of words taken for granted. I can't help but think that it's often difficult to realize such connections exist. Words shape consciousness, indeed, some even say that "words are life." But what if we were to cast away such a life? What if somehow, we were able to understand one another through connections formed heart to heart, soul to soul, and could once again look into another's eyes and form a bond so pure?
This concept lies at the core of The Quiet Man. Feelings that remain after words are abandoned, feelings that can be conveyed even without words - aren't these the feelings that are so important in this life?"
So if you have no idea what you just read and if you don't understand how that relates to the context of this game, then let me answer that for you: It fucking doesn't. Kensei Fujinaka has made a game that doesn't even reflect to what the hell he is even saying.
Words are not sound, but this game HAS words. They're used as a form of communication just like me and you do. The presentation of the game is void of words, but only because it is void of SOUND.
The main character Dane, can clearly speak, even though the premise of the game is that he's deaf. And while he does at times act like a deaf person should, we can't hear him or anyone else ourselves. Basically, this Producer made a game that clashes with his own ideology and just misses the point entirely. The guy just doesn't understand how being deaf actually fuckin' works.
If I was a deaf person I would be pretty fucking insulted because of how poorly this game portrays what it's actually like to be deaf. There is no attempt whatsoever to educate on what it's like to live without one of your senses. It just presents itself and expects the player to make sense of its ridiculousness without giving any necessary context to how a deaf person perceives the world around them.
So instead, it feels like you were just robbed of one of your senses at random and you have to navigate yourself without the necessary preparation a deaf person has had beforehand. It just blows my mind that a game like this was even made.
The intent of this game was to put us into the shoes of Dane, but it doesn't work because Dane knows what is going on, but we DON'T, and there lies the problem. The gameplay only serves as a driver for the story in order to excuse itself as a video game.
This game is not just an insult to deaf people, but it's also an insult to both game narratives and game development as a whole, because everything in this game is DELIBERATE.
The funny thing is though, even when the sound is turned back on, it's still extremely hard to make sense of the story. It's a revenge story that doesn't make any sense. The voice acting is awful, the presentation is crappy, and it has twist ending that involves Dane...transforming into a superhero.
...What?
Anyway, a week after this game came out, a patch was released that put the sound back in. And after that, Producer Kensei Fujinaka responds to all of the negative reception, and if you thought the first quote was nonsensical, holy fuck it pales in comparison to this quote, in what can only be described as utterly ass-backwards:
"What really happened on that fated night... If the truth is indeed which that remains after words are thrown away, then can we resist the powers of reality that is spun from these words? I want to find what is truly important, without being misled by these overflowing words.
And with only that, do I honestly want to look at it carefully. That wish has driven me to make a story without words. However, when making this theme, that just wasn't enough. Yes, it really felt like "half" was missing. Approximately one week after release, via a free patch update, The Quiet Man will be reborn. A second version with sound and words called The Quiet Man: Answered.
The story will bring light to the truth, and maybe even uproot the mystery that was thought to have been solved as if to say, "I knew nothing at all..." The first version that threw words away. The second version, that brought words back in. A story dramatically transformed. This is the completed experience.
And so with everyone, I want to ask this: Can we really be strong to say we do not need words, even if we need them? In a word overflowing with words, can we really find something beyond them?"
And there you have it. A game created by a person with an over-inflated ego that has attempted to shit all over the artistial integrity of stories and video game development. A person who doesn't even understand his own ideology. This level of gross incompetence can only be described as meme-worthy.
Thank you Fujinaka for showing us just how much you have no fucking idea how to make video games and write stories. Maybe you should join Hollywood instead, they don't really have any standards whatsoever.
1/10
2019
I. Love. This Game.
This is easily one of the best games I have played in quite a long time.
In a way, I wanted to write a review for this game since it's a very underrated gem of a game. That and it got the shit end of the stick because of game journalist idiocy from trash companies like IGN and Gamespot who completely shat on this game not just based on pre Day 1 copies of the game but also because of the fact that a few of these reviews were biased, unfair, and it seems like the reviewers didn't even want to play or even review the game in the first place.
I get that the game was buggy at launch but what should be understood is that this is the first time developer Bend Studio ever made a game like this.
These guys used to work on Syphon Filter games, so imagine their next biggest project is a massive open world third-person shooter zombie game with heavy emphasis on survival gameplay and narrative. That's not an easy thing to do.
If anything, we should be praising Bend Studio for even managing to make a game like this even possible. They did an awesome job, and I hope they continue to make more games as ambitious as Days Gone.
But then again, this is Kallie Plagge from Gamespot I'm talking about here, who is mostly well known for the infamous Pokemon "too much water" meme and her whiny Red Dead Redemption 2 review.
Which mostly involved her not only spoiling the story for the people who waited many years for it, but also complaining about the gameplay being slow. Were you expecting GTA5 you daft cunt? It's 1899 for fuck sake. That and the fact that you are an outlaw doing outlaw things... in a game called RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2. Holy shit..
She is also known for getting her Twatter (yes that spelling is intentional) "male allies" to dogpile critic TheQuartering to try to get him cancelled and deplatormed, because he called out her shitty half-assed Cyberpunk 2077 review.
But that is gaming journalism for you. Disgusting, cowardly, pathetic scum that should stay away from our precious commodity we call video games. I doubt these "critics" ever survived the Modern Warfare 2 and 3 lobbies.
Instead, let's move on to other types of gamers who actually give a damn about video games and have a passion for talking about them. Instead of these media gamer PRETENDERS who push for identity politic agendas and diversity hire box ticking. Sorry to say, but nobody gives a shit about you anymore, games media.
COUGH THE LAST OF US PART 2
[STORY AND THE WORLD]
Days Gone is yet another zombie apocalypse game that takes place a couple years after a virus had broke out, and you travel with main character Deacon St. John, an ex-military biker who rides along with his best friend Boozer as he attempts to find a reason to live in this horrible world after he lost his wife in a helicopter crash.
And this sounds generic by today's standards on paper, however, Days Gone adds in unique twists to the world that make it feel fresh compared to other zombie games.
The infected in this game are unlike the infected in most other games. They're more like feral humans. They act like animals. A few examples would be, they eat more than just meat. They're omnivores, meaning they also eat plants, berries, etc. They also move in packs, they sleep during specific day and night cycles, and they build nests to sleep in.
And it turns out that the infected are adapting and evolving, meaning they are becoming more sophisticated. There is a secret ending where one of the important characters becomes infected, however he is still acting like a human. Zombie humans?? That sounds fucking amazing, I'm totally down for that if there ever comes a sequel to this game.
There are also more than infected humans. There's also infected wolves that can pursue you while you're on your bike. And not to mention, zombie children. Which is just horrifying, gives me a lot of Left for Dead 2 vibes.
And the wildlife can be a threat to you as well. Cougars, grizzly bears, etc. So pretty much, trust no animals.
Unlike a lot of other games where the goal of the story is to find a cure for the virus or get to a safe place to call Sanctuary, Days Gone doesn't have a goal like that. Days Gone is about everyone's every day life, as they try to find reasons to keep in living in the world. It's about Deacon, what he goes through on a daily basis, and how the characters around him motivate him throughout the course of the game. It's about the characters, what they go through every day, what they do to survive, and how they develop.
No one is in a rush to find a cure because they are self aware that the world has been completely ravaged, filled with Infected, bandits, psycho cultists, and rival camps. Even if a vaccine were to be discovered, it wouldn't fix how fucked up the world has become. So now people have to make the best of what they have, and that's what makes the story in this game different. You're either a loner out in the wilderness or you work day and night for the camp. But to some, being a part of a camp is better than being out in the wild, which many people refer to as "The Shit."
Days Gone is a pretty character-driven, story heavy game. And if I was to be honest, this game has one of the best narratives I've seen in a game yet. It's just as good as The Last of Us 1 from a narrative perspective.
Every character in this game is interesting, there isn't really a single character I genuinely dislike. I love the personalities behind them. None of them feel copy and pasted or phoned in. Each of them have unique styles that make them stand out as individuals. They feel like real, relatable people.
Even the main antagonists of the game have quite unique personalities. And at one point, I actually felt really bad about one of them dying, which is rare to see in games these days.
The voice acting in this game is also really damn good. There are some corny lines of dialogue here and there, especially in the flashback sequences between Deacon and his wife, but that's the fucking point. Those scenes are meant to be awkward, that's just how their relationship melds together. It just adds onto the overall strong narrative.
This is a 30-35 hour long game. The first 6 hours do start off slow, but after you get to that 8-10+ hour mark, it starts to pick up and as you keep playing the game, it gets better, and better, and better, to the point that I just couldn't get enough of it.
And I'm also not afraid to admit this but this game made me cry, quite a lot actually. Once you get to the 3/4 quarter mark of the game, the game starts hitting you hard with sad moment after sad moment.
It's very rare for me to cry when I play games, but I don't think I've cried this much playing Days Gone since The Last of Us 1, and that game came out in 2013. That's how good the storytelling is in this game.
Because the game makes you care about the characters, and it makes you care about Deacon.
I feel for Deacon, I want to see him grow and love again, because Deacon reminds me a lot of Joel from The Last of Us, and maybe that's why I got attached to him as much as I did.
You want to see Deacon and Boozer become stronger people. I kept playing because I wanted to see how all the other characters grow.
I also really love how whenever something is happening in the world, Deacon makes side talk. He could be in the middle of a gunfight against a group of bandit rapists and he'll make snarky remarks about them.
Or he'll tell himself to hurry up while he's reloading his gun, or he'll shout when he hits something while on his bike. He also has a lot of smartass things to say whenever he speaks with someone on his radio.
I also bursted out laughing one time when he made a certain facial expression after coming to the realization of "Shit, I just asked someone a really stupid question."
Small details like that add onto his character and makes him that much more believable.
I felt really satisfied with the story to this game, and it motivated me to replay it, that's how much I enjoyed my first time going through it.
[SOUNDTRACK]
The soundtrack to this game is fantastic. The song that plays always fits the mood of the situation. It can go from tense to relaxing, and it has excellent variation on instrumentals. The main menu music is one of the best video game songs I've heard, period.
The soundtrack is also just another layer to the storytelling.
When the scene calls for it, the music will kick in for maximum emotion, very effective. There are also times where you will reach critical moments in the game in which you will get vocals in the music, which again, is very effective for setting the mood of the situation.
[GAMEPLAY]
It's a survival third-person shooter with a large emphasis on driving your motorbike to get around the massive world. It's a beautiful world, one of the most detailed I've seen besides Red Dead Redemption 2.
I really love the apocalypse setting, there's just something really beautiful about just stopping and taking a good long look at this destroyed world.
I play this game on a base PS4, and I can tell that it was built for the Pro because I do get the occasional frame drops, but it's nothing game breaking.
I did encounter some texture pop-up issues later on in the game but it was funny more than anything, and I understand why it can get like that. Everything in the environment is rendered in 3D which is why it looks so good, which must be why anomalies like this can happen.
Either way, the game is very playable on a base PS4.
I mentioned driving your motorbike to get around, but in fact, your bike is your only source of transportation. Your bike has a fuel mechanic. Run out of fuel and you'll have to run on foot to either find a gasoline canister lying around somewhere on the ground, going to a gas station, or going to a camp or safe house to respawn the bike.
Your bike will always be marked on your map so you won't lose track of it.
At first it will get tedious to have to refuel your bike, though you will get fuel tank upgrades as you play through the game. Also, gas stations never actually run out of gas, so you may as well just stop for a minute and refuel on your way to a mission.
You can also repair and refuel your bike at the many camps around the map, it's quite inexpensive.
There's also gas canisters either lying in random spots on the ground or they're always at NERO Checkpoints, facilities that contain medical syringes that permanently increase your Health, Stamina, or Focus meter (Bullet Time). There's gas everywhere, so running out of fuel while out on the road shouldn't be as big of an big issue as people were claiming.
And speaking of the NERO syringes, I recommend dumping all of your syringes into Stamina. Why? Because crafting materials are very common so you will always have crafting materials to make bandages.
Deacon's stamina is very shit starting off, it drains quickly. And rolling also drains stamina, which you need to dodge attacks. Unless you stock up on Stamina Cocktails, you're gonna run out of stamina frequently, so you need all the stamina syringes you can get. There's also a Skill that you really should get that reduces the stamina cost of rolling.
Also, some NERO Checkpoints can only be reached if your bike is upgraded to a certain extent, which is all the more reason to get as much stamina as you can before you regret it later on.
If I remember correctly there are 4 levels of difficulty. However on Normal difficulty, the game is way too easy. I recommend playing on Hard difficulty for your first playthrough if you want a good, balanced challenge.
I also have a gripe with the shooting mechanics in this game. The aiming is clunky. The acceleration is too slow, and there are times where my crosshair is right on the enemy but my shots can still miss, though this is mostly an issue with semi-auto shot weapons like pistols and rifles, sometimes it feels like they're fighting against you.
When you get anything that's either a shotgun or a full-auto weapon, it's not as bad. The Focus bullet time also does help, and there is a Skill that increases accuracy, but I never really put any syringes into more Focus, because again, stamina is the most important to me since you do just as much running and rolling as driving around.
You can also obtain suppressors for your guns but I never use them because I always go guns blazing anyway because I always have the bullets and healing items to spare.
Your bike can break if you crash it too much, so you have to use Scrap to fix it. But just like the gas, scrap is really easy to come by. It's always inside of cars and human enemies can drop it. There is also a Skill you can acquire to reduce the amount of scrap needed to fix up the bike. You also use scrap to fix and upgrade melee weapons, however, I barely ever did that because ammo is common, especially since you can just buy it at any camp.
Not just the fuel tank, but the bike itself can be upgraded. More speed, better handling, better traction and braking, as well as a nitro boost that lasts for a few seconds. You can also unlock Saddlebags which you can fill up with ammo, in case you need to restock but you don't have time to run all the way back to a camp. You can also customize the bike's appearance, and again, more stuff unlocks as you progress through the story.
It would have been nice if we could customize Deacon's appearance
like we could with Kratos from God of War 4 and Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn.
When you're not on the bike, you're running around either shooting at enemies or looting. Pressing the R3 button gives Deacon a type of Eagle Vision which highlights all the items in the area as well as anything you can interact with. Human enemies drop loot when they die so always be sure to scavenge them after a gunfight.
As you play through the game you come across the few different camps spread across the map, and as you complete missions for the locals there, you gain XP for level ups and respect for that specific camp. Getting your camp trust to a certain level will unlock guns and bike upgrades exclusive to that specific camp.
Leveling up earns you Skill Points that you can use to enhance Deacon's Survival, Shooting, and Melee abilities. Skills are divided by tiers. So if you want the stronger Skills you have to acquire a certain number of other Skills first.
Upgrades like more ammo capacity, more crafting material capacity, more melee damage, less scrap required to upgrade melee weapons and fix up your bike, upgraded Survival Vision which highlights enemies, double plants obtained (used to craft crossbow bolts), faster reloading speed, more bullet time, etc.
There are quite a lot of things to do in the open world. Taking down Freaker Nests and Marauder Camps not only makes the roads safer but you unlock more Fast Travel points, however there is one problem with Fast Travel. Using it actually depletes most of your fuel, which I assume is supposed to make it more realistic, but I still think it's kinda bullshit.
Regardless, I never used it, mostly cause it's more enjoyable to just drive around and run Freakers over as I take in the beautiful environment, it just feels very immersive.
Alongside the main story missions you can also do Side Quests, and they took the Ghost of Tsushima approach where doing optional side missions actually lead to more character development and world building, so they are worth doing. There are also collectibles you can find in the world which again, adds in a sprinkle more of world building.
There also optional mini-games you can access from the main menu and you get to choose who you want to play as. You get to choose between the many different characters you meet across the game such as Boozer and Rikki. These mini-games range from fighting off waves of human enemies or Infected, time trials, and even surviving a horde of Infected as long as possible.
If there was an online two player option I would be playing that shit for hours on end, even more than I already have. These are fun to do when you want to take a break from the main story.
Speaking of hordes, there are many different hordes scattered across the map. At first getting near them is asking for suicide, but as you get geared up and acquire powerful skills later on, the game will force you to take on these hordes head-on, single-handedly, and these hordes are fucking MASSIVE.
I've seen as many as 200+ Infected on the screen at once without any frame drops, that is incredibly fucking impressive. I remember getting chased by a horde for the first time and it was the some of the most scary, blood-pumping tension I've ever felt while playing a game, it genuinely set off my anxiety, and it still does at times.
But watching Deacon taking down a horde like he's a Kino Der Toten character is insanely badass. Just like the Nests, taking down hordes will make the roads safer to travel through.
Some missions will require you to tail someone, search for clues to find someone, or to investigate NERO agents researching the virus. And you're gonna be doing this a lot, and I will admit, it does get a bit repetitive sometimes, but the story is so damn good that I can forgive that repetition, because the payoff is worth it in the end.
This game takes place in the state of Oregon, and yes there are historical landmarks to find if you're into that.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
Amazing story, clunky gameplay, beautiful immersive world, that's Days Gone in a nutshell.
If the optimization was a bit better and the shooting mechanics were more polished, then this game would easily be a 10/10, but honestly, I still think it's a masterpiece worth playing.
Heh, this game and The Last of Us 1 have things in common. Both games have clunky gameplay but have incredible storytelling and world building. Not that it's a bad thing, Days is just more of what I love about story-driven games. This game deserves all the praise it got, but I hope it gets even more love. It's almost like Days Gone is the true successor to The Last of Us 1 unlike that God forsaken piece of shit sequel, God Forbid I say that, or else I'm just a misogynist or a bigot who worships the Patriarchy...
Or maybe just cause The Last of Us 2 is fucking dogshit that needs to rot in the deepest fathoms of hell, and Days Gone is just a way better game, because it was made by a developer who actually cares about both the product and the gamers, the people who buy their games in the first place.
This is easily one of the best games I have played in quite a long time.
In a way, I wanted to write a review for this game since it's a very underrated gem of a game. That and it got the shit end of the stick because of game journalist idiocy from trash companies like IGN and Gamespot who completely shat on this game not just based on pre Day 1 copies of the game but also because of the fact that a few of these reviews were biased, unfair, and it seems like the reviewers didn't even want to play or even review the game in the first place.
I get that the game was buggy at launch but what should be understood is that this is the first time developer Bend Studio ever made a game like this.
These guys used to work on Syphon Filter games, so imagine their next biggest project is a massive open world third-person shooter zombie game with heavy emphasis on survival gameplay and narrative. That's not an easy thing to do.
If anything, we should be praising Bend Studio for even managing to make a game like this even possible. They did an awesome job, and I hope they continue to make more games as ambitious as Days Gone.
But then again, this is Kallie Plagge from Gamespot I'm talking about here, who is mostly well known for the infamous Pokemon "too much water" meme and her whiny Red Dead Redemption 2 review.
Which mostly involved her not only spoiling the story for the people who waited many years for it, but also complaining about the gameplay being slow. Were you expecting GTA5 you daft cunt? It's 1899 for fuck sake. That and the fact that you are an outlaw doing outlaw things... in a game called RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2. Holy shit..
She is also known for getting her Twatter (yes that spelling is intentional) "male allies" to dogpile critic TheQuartering to try to get him cancelled and deplatormed, because he called out her shitty half-assed Cyberpunk 2077 review.
But that is gaming journalism for you. Disgusting, cowardly, pathetic scum that should stay away from our precious commodity we call video games. I doubt these "critics" ever survived the Modern Warfare 2 and 3 lobbies.
Instead, let's move on to other types of gamers who actually give a damn about video games and have a passion for talking about them. Instead of these media gamer PRETENDERS who push for identity politic agendas and diversity hire box ticking. Sorry to say, but nobody gives a shit about you anymore, games media.
COUGH THE LAST OF US PART 2
[STORY AND THE WORLD]
Days Gone is yet another zombie apocalypse game that takes place a couple years after a virus had broke out, and you travel with main character Deacon St. John, an ex-military biker who rides along with his best friend Boozer as he attempts to find a reason to live in this horrible world after he lost his wife in a helicopter crash.
And this sounds generic by today's standards on paper, however, Days Gone adds in unique twists to the world that make it feel fresh compared to other zombie games.
The infected in this game are unlike the infected in most other games. They're more like feral humans. They act like animals. A few examples would be, they eat more than just meat. They're omnivores, meaning they also eat plants, berries, etc. They also move in packs, they sleep during specific day and night cycles, and they build nests to sleep in.
And it turns out that the infected are adapting and evolving, meaning they are becoming more sophisticated. There is a secret ending where one of the important characters becomes infected, however he is still acting like a human. Zombie humans?? That sounds fucking amazing, I'm totally down for that if there ever comes a sequel to this game.
There are also more than infected humans. There's also infected wolves that can pursue you while you're on your bike. And not to mention, zombie children. Which is just horrifying, gives me a lot of Left for Dead 2 vibes.
And the wildlife can be a threat to you as well. Cougars, grizzly bears, etc. So pretty much, trust no animals.
Unlike a lot of other games where the goal of the story is to find a cure for the virus or get to a safe place to call Sanctuary, Days Gone doesn't have a goal like that. Days Gone is about everyone's every day life, as they try to find reasons to keep in living in the world. It's about Deacon, what he goes through on a daily basis, and how the characters around him motivate him throughout the course of the game. It's about the characters, what they go through every day, what they do to survive, and how they develop.
No one is in a rush to find a cure because they are self aware that the world has been completely ravaged, filled with Infected, bandits, psycho cultists, and rival camps. Even if a vaccine were to be discovered, it wouldn't fix how fucked up the world has become. So now people have to make the best of what they have, and that's what makes the story in this game different. You're either a loner out in the wilderness or you work day and night for the camp. But to some, being a part of a camp is better than being out in the wild, which many people refer to as "The Shit."
Days Gone is a pretty character-driven, story heavy game. And if I was to be honest, this game has one of the best narratives I've seen in a game yet. It's just as good as The Last of Us 1 from a narrative perspective.
Every character in this game is interesting, there isn't really a single character I genuinely dislike. I love the personalities behind them. None of them feel copy and pasted or phoned in. Each of them have unique styles that make them stand out as individuals. They feel like real, relatable people.
Even the main antagonists of the game have quite unique personalities. And at one point, I actually felt really bad about one of them dying, which is rare to see in games these days.
The voice acting in this game is also really damn good. There are some corny lines of dialogue here and there, especially in the flashback sequences between Deacon and his wife, but that's the fucking point. Those scenes are meant to be awkward, that's just how their relationship melds together. It just adds onto the overall strong narrative.
This is a 30-35 hour long game. The first 6 hours do start off slow, but after you get to that 8-10+ hour mark, it starts to pick up and as you keep playing the game, it gets better, and better, and better, to the point that I just couldn't get enough of it.
And I'm also not afraid to admit this but this game made me cry, quite a lot actually. Once you get to the 3/4 quarter mark of the game, the game starts hitting you hard with sad moment after sad moment.
It's very rare for me to cry when I play games, but I don't think I've cried this much playing Days Gone since The Last of Us 1, and that game came out in 2013. That's how good the storytelling is in this game.
Because the game makes you care about the characters, and it makes you care about Deacon.
I feel for Deacon, I want to see him grow and love again, because Deacon reminds me a lot of Joel from The Last of Us, and maybe that's why I got attached to him as much as I did.
You want to see Deacon and Boozer become stronger people. I kept playing because I wanted to see how all the other characters grow.
I also really love how whenever something is happening in the world, Deacon makes side talk. He could be in the middle of a gunfight against a group of bandit rapists and he'll make snarky remarks about them.
Or he'll tell himself to hurry up while he's reloading his gun, or he'll shout when he hits something while on his bike. He also has a lot of smartass things to say whenever he speaks with someone on his radio.
I also bursted out laughing one time when he made a certain facial expression after coming to the realization of "Shit, I just asked someone a really stupid question."
Small details like that add onto his character and makes him that much more believable.
I felt really satisfied with the story to this game, and it motivated me to replay it, that's how much I enjoyed my first time going through it.
[SOUNDTRACK]
The soundtrack to this game is fantastic. The song that plays always fits the mood of the situation. It can go from tense to relaxing, and it has excellent variation on instrumentals. The main menu music is one of the best video game songs I've heard, period.
The soundtrack is also just another layer to the storytelling.
When the scene calls for it, the music will kick in for maximum emotion, very effective. There are also times where you will reach critical moments in the game in which you will get vocals in the music, which again, is very effective for setting the mood of the situation.
[GAMEPLAY]
It's a survival third-person shooter with a large emphasis on driving your motorbike to get around the massive world. It's a beautiful world, one of the most detailed I've seen besides Red Dead Redemption 2.
I really love the apocalypse setting, there's just something really beautiful about just stopping and taking a good long look at this destroyed world.
I play this game on a base PS4, and I can tell that it was built for the Pro because I do get the occasional frame drops, but it's nothing game breaking.
I did encounter some texture pop-up issues later on in the game but it was funny more than anything, and I understand why it can get like that. Everything in the environment is rendered in 3D which is why it looks so good, which must be why anomalies like this can happen.
Either way, the game is very playable on a base PS4.
I mentioned driving your motorbike to get around, but in fact, your bike is your only source of transportation. Your bike has a fuel mechanic. Run out of fuel and you'll have to run on foot to either find a gasoline canister lying around somewhere on the ground, going to a gas station, or going to a camp or safe house to respawn the bike.
Your bike will always be marked on your map so you won't lose track of it.
At first it will get tedious to have to refuel your bike, though you will get fuel tank upgrades as you play through the game. Also, gas stations never actually run out of gas, so you may as well just stop for a minute and refuel on your way to a mission.
You can also repair and refuel your bike at the many camps around the map, it's quite inexpensive.
There's also gas canisters either lying in random spots on the ground or they're always at NERO Checkpoints, facilities that contain medical syringes that permanently increase your Health, Stamina, or Focus meter (Bullet Time). There's gas everywhere, so running out of fuel while out on the road shouldn't be as big of an big issue as people were claiming.
And speaking of the NERO syringes, I recommend dumping all of your syringes into Stamina. Why? Because crafting materials are very common so you will always have crafting materials to make bandages.
Deacon's stamina is very shit starting off, it drains quickly. And rolling also drains stamina, which you need to dodge attacks. Unless you stock up on Stamina Cocktails, you're gonna run out of stamina frequently, so you need all the stamina syringes you can get. There's also a Skill that you really should get that reduces the stamina cost of rolling.
Also, some NERO Checkpoints can only be reached if your bike is upgraded to a certain extent, which is all the more reason to get as much stamina as you can before you regret it later on.
If I remember correctly there are 4 levels of difficulty. However on Normal difficulty, the game is way too easy. I recommend playing on Hard difficulty for your first playthrough if you want a good, balanced challenge.
I also have a gripe with the shooting mechanics in this game. The aiming is clunky. The acceleration is too slow, and there are times where my crosshair is right on the enemy but my shots can still miss, though this is mostly an issue with semi-auto shot weapons like pistols and rifles, sometimes it feels like they're fighting against you.
When you get anything that's either a shotgun or a full-auto weapon, it's not as bad. The Focus bullet time also does help, and there is a Skill that increases accuracy, but I never really put any syringes into more Focus, because again, stamina is the most important to me since you do just as much running and rolling as driving around.
You can also obtain suppressors for your guns but I never use them because I always go guns blazing anyway because I always have the bullets and healing items to spare.
Your bike can break if you crash it too much, so you have to use Scrap to fix it. But just like the gas, scrap is really easy to come by. It's always inside of cars and human enemies can drop it. There is also a Skill you can acquire to reduce the amount of scrap needed to fix up the bike. You also use scrap to fix and upgrade melee weapons, however, I barely ever did that because ammo is common, especially since you can just buy it at any camp.
Not just the fuel tank, but the bike itself can be upgraded. More speed, better handling, better traction and braking, as well as a nitro boost that lasts for a few seconds. You can also unlock Saddlebags which you can fill up with ammo, in case you need to restock but you don't have time to run all the way back to a camp. You can also customize the bike's appearance, and again, more stuff unlocks as you progress through the story.
It would have been nice if we could customize Deacon's appearance
like we could with Kratos from God of War 4 and Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn.
When you're not on the bike, you're running around either shooting at enemies or looting. Pressing the R3 button gives Deacon a type of Eagle Vision which highlights all the items in the area as well as anything you can interact with. Human enemies drop loot when they die so always be sure to scavenge them after a gunfight.
As you play through the game you come across the few different camps spread across the map, and as you complete missions for the locals there, you gain XP for level ups and respect for that specific camp. Getting your camp trust to a certain level will unlock guns and bike upgrades exclusive to that specific camp.
Leveling up earns you Skill Points that you can use to enhance Deacon's Survival, Shooting, and Melee abilities. Skills are divided by tiers. So if you want the stronger Skills you have to acquire a certain number of other Skills first.
Upgrades like more ammo capacity, more crafting material capacity, more melee damage, less scrap required to upgrade melee weapons and fix up your bike, upgraded Survival Vision which highlights enemies, double plants obtained (used to craft crossbow bolts), faster reloading speed, more bullet time, etc.
There are quite a lot of things to do in the open world. Taking down Freaker Nests and Marauder Camps not only makes the roads safer but you unlock more Fast Travel points, however there is one problem with Fast Travel. Using it actually depletes most of your fuel, which I assume is supposed to make it more realistic, but I still think it's kinda bullshit.
Regardless, I never used it, mostly cause it's more enjoyable to just drive around and run Freakers over as I take in the beautiful environment, it just feels very immersive.
Alongside the main story missions you can also do Side Quests, and they took the Ghost of Tsushima approach where doing optional side missions actually lead to more character development and world building, so they are worth doing. There are also collectibles you can find in the world which again, adds in a sprinkle more of world building.
There also optional mini-games you can access from the main menu and you get to choose who you want to play as. You get to choose between the many different characters you meet across the game such as Boozer and Rikki. These mini-games range from fighting off waves of human enemies or Infected, time trials, and even surviving a horde of Infected as long as possible.
If there was an online two player option I would be playing that shit for hours on end, even more than I already have. These are fun to do when you want to take a break from the main story.
Speaking of hordes, there are many different hordes scattered across the map. At first getting near them is asking for suicide, but as you get geared up and acquire powerful skills later on, the game will force you to take on these hordes head-on, single-handedly, and these hordes are fucking MASSIVE.
I've seen as many as 200+ Infected on the screen at once without any frame drops, that is incredibly fucking impressive. I remember getting chased by a horde for the first time and it was the some of the most scary, blood-pumping tension I've ever felt while playing a game, it genuinely set off my anxiety, and it still does at times.
But watching Deacon taking down a horde like he's a Kino Der Toten character is insanely badass. Just like the Nests, taking down hordes will make the roads safer to travel through.
Some missions will require you to tail someone, search for clues to find someone, or to investigate NERO agents researching the virus. And you're gonna be doing this a lot, and I will admit, it does get a bit repetitive sometimes, but the story is so damn good that I can forgive that repetition, because the payoff is worth it in the end.
This game takes place in the state of Oregon, and yes there are historical landmarks to find if you're into that.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
Amazing story, clunky gameplay, beautiful immersive world, that's Days Gone in a nutshell.
If the optimization was a bit better and the shooting mechanics were more polished, then this game would easily be a 10/10, but honestly, I still think it's a masterpiece worth playing.
Heh, this game and The Last of Us 1 have things in common. Both games have clunky gameplay but have incredible storytelling and world building. Not that it's a bad thing, Days is just more of what I love about story-driven games. This game deserves all the praise it got, but I hope it gets even more love. It's almost like Days Gone is the true successor to The Last of Us 1 unlike that God forsaken piece of shit sequel, God Forbid I say that, or else I'm just a misogynist or a bigot who worships the Patriarchy...
Or maybe just cause The Last of Us 2 is fucking dogshit that needs to rot in the deepest fathoms of hell, and Days Gone is just a way better game, because it was made by a developer who actually cares about both the product and the gamers, the people who buy their games in the first place.
This review contains spoilers
[Spoiler Warning oh who gives a shit]
You know, when I write reviews for bad games, I like to make funny jokes just to spice it up instead of just being totally bleak the whole way through. But, I can't do that here. I'm just so angry that words cannot possibly describe the mental anguish, grief, and sheer dumbfounding disbelief that a game like this has costed me.
Just a bit of context, I am a huge fan of the original Last of Us. Huge is an understatement. It is my favorite video game of all time next to games like Final Fantasy VI and Metal Gear Solid 3, it's #1 on my top 5 favorite games of all time. The impact that the game has left on me when I was a teenager and how it taught me many important life lessons and carried me through some of the most depressing times of my life during my high school days, it cannot be underestimated.
I am now 24 years old and I still believe that The Last of Us 1 is truly lightning in a bottle, a game that cannot be replicated the same way Naughty Dog did all those years ago. I love the game so much that I got the platinum trophy for the game not once, but twice, and have spent a minimum of 500 hours on the Factions Multiplayer. That's how much I couldn't get enough of it. I've played all of Naughty Dog's games since the original Crash Bandicoot on the PS1, they've been my all-time favorite video game company, and to think that a single game could have made them fall from grace this much, it's truly heartbreaking and it has majorly affected me as a gamer. I don't get hyped for games anymore because of this. That and Cyberpunk 2077.
Which is why it is so painful to write a review for the sequel. When it was revealed in 2016 I was literally crying. I was more hyped for that game than any other. I bought my PS4 for the remaster of The Last of Us 1 and was damn ready for Part II. It's not a perfect game but it is MY perfect game, so I was expecting the sequel to not be able to surpass it. I mean, the first game was so masterfully crafted, how could the sequel surpass it anyway? Even then, I was at least expecting it to be a fantastic fuckin' game and not what we ended up getting.
How did we end up going from The Last of Us 1 which got 9/10s and 10/10s across the board across every gaming site from fans to The Last of Us 2 which had a User Score of 3.3 at launch on Metacritic? COUGH I mean Betacritic since they disabled the ability to write negative reviews which raised the aggregate User Score to a 5.7 because they have certain "priorities" to uphold.
This shit truly blows my mind and is something that I will never forget. This whole fiasco is such a shitshow that it's giving me flashbacks of god awful games and movies like Fallout 76, Star Wars The Last Jedi, Game of Thrones Season 8, Ride to Hell Retribution, the final season of Breaking Bad, Captain Marvel, Batwoman, Silent Hill HD Collection, Metal Gear Survive, and Battlefield 5.
The majority of these games, movies, and TV shows have absolutely BUTCHERED their respective IPs and franchises, and The Last of Us has also fallen victim to this ongoing trend. It's like the beginning of the end of entertainment as we know it.
The Last of Us Part 2 is one of the most, if not, the most miserable, anti-consumer, self-indulgent, incoherent, preachy, cowardly, soulless, manipulative, misleading, and downright offensive games I have ever played and witnessed in my entire life. I can't believe this game was even made, and most others believe the same way since they don't even acknowledge that this game is canon to the franchise.
This game has created such a disconnect between the gamers, game journalists, and the developers themselves that it has created one of the greatest onslaught of memes, hate videos, and the biggest drop in sales for a game one week after launch I have ever witnessed, and it is both brutal and hilarious. Naughty Dog and Directors Neil Drukkman and Haley Gross should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for taking everything that people loved for the past seven years and completely obliterating it.
And this is why people are stepping away from these woke SJW trash companies like IGN, Gamespot, Polygon, Kotaku, etc. and they're moving onto YouTube personalities instead for reliable information and reviews, because a good chunk of em' don't follow a bias and will tell you what you should be knowing, and don't praise a game because it has woke inclusion in it for the sake of pandering.
I don't consider the average YouTuber to be professional by any means, at least in the way that you might be thinking, but for god sake, these game journalists are not even real gamers, they're fuckin' activists. In reality, they hate video games and the people that play and support them. They're not about covering games, they only care for the diversity and inclusion box ticking. That and free early access review copies along with advertising revenue.
The review process and embargo for gaming access is absolutely broken, and there should be changes. All the way until launch you were not allowed to talk about anything involving Joel, Abby, the ending, etc.
Which is like half of the entire game.
This might be the longest review for a game I will ever write, even longer than my Cyberpunk 2077 review, but if you're reading all of this, I thank you.
[STORY]
Joel, our most beloved character dies only 2 hours into the game. And this game is 25-30 hours long. Let's do a calculation really quick.
2 out of 25 as a percentage is 8..
2 out of 30 as a percentage is 6.66...
Are you telling me that out of this 25-30 hour game, Joel is alive 6-8% of the entire game, not including the flashback sequences? Are you fucking kidding me???
Why is the character that we bonded so much with in the first game dies only two hours into Part 2, and he is only playable for FIVE MINUTES in the introduction on horseback?? How can you even call this a Last of Us game without Joel and Ellie? The whole point of the first game is about them, as well as the surrounding characters that support them throughout their journey. But if you don't have Joel and Ellie together like you did before, the game will just lose its purpose, weight, and most of all, investment.
The moment you killed off Joel so abruptly, you created a huge disconnect with the player, and as a result, the game just becomes boring, and it lacks the depth and soul that the first game had.
See, Joel dying as a concept is not a bad idea. In fact, I actually did think before the game came out that he was going to die. But the way they handled it was just so rushed, so forced, so nonsensical, and it had no agency to it. It just comes out of the blue and we just have to deal with it.
Joel's established character from the first game, hell even Tommy's character was dumbed down severely for the sake of being put into a position to be easily ambushed in order to push the plot forward, because there is no way that a scenario like this would happen in the previous game. And there is a reason for this. Joel is less like a character in this game and more like a plot device to drive Ellie's story arc.
The Last of Us 2 became about identity politics instead of moral dilemmas. This game is a werewolf crossed with a Social Justice Warrior. People in the game were arbitrarily good or bad depending on their gender, their sexual orientation, or their views on the world.
The bigot sandwich scene comes to mind. It's only 10 minutes into the game and it was one of the dumbest scenes I've seen in a very long time.
Ellie gets into a dispute with this guy named Seth because of the fact that she is in love with Dina and the two of them have a dance and make out, and Seth calls Ellie a dyke, which is a derogatory term for lesbian.
But it was only because he was drunk and he had no control over what he said, so the next day he tries to make it up to Ellie by making her some sandwiches to take with her on her scouting mission, but instead of accepting his peace offering, she calls him a bigot and just gives the food to Jessie.
Uh, what the fuck?? Okay, first of all, who the fuck says the word "bigot" 25 years into an apocalypse? And furthermore, how did Ellie not know what an ice cream truck was in the first Last of Us game, but in this game she knows what the word bigot means?
In the first game Ellie didn't even know how to whistle for god sake. Now I'm supposed to to believe that she is knowledgeable on bigotry?? Who the fuck would even teach her that?
I guess it would seem that cancel culture is alive and well in a world like this.
Not to mention, this is the APOCOLYPSE. Food and resources are scarce as fuck in times like these. You wouldn't normally just reject something like food when food like that is very fucking hard to come by. Ellie was forced to eat human flesh in the first game, but I guess now politics are more important.
I don't care if he called you the D word, just take the goddamn sandwiches!
My god. And I'm only just getting started.
Naughty Dog retconed the living shit out the first game just so they could cuck Joel and Ellie and antagonize them.
The marketing of this game flat out lied to you. Naughty Dog actually pulled a Cyberpunk and faked all of their trailers. They pulled a bait and switch and actually swapped out character models in the trailers to make it look like we were going to get another Joel and Ellie journey, so that they could sell more copies when the game came out.
This is some of the most evil shit I have ever seen a company do. They fooled everyone with this deceptive advertising, which makes me wonder why CD Projekt Red are getting such an incredible amount of shit from both gamers and their shareholders, with lawsuits, stock plummets, and their company getting straight up hacked and having their games being held up for ransom, but Sony and Naughty Dog gets to walk away unscathed. Seriously, not even EA or Activision have pulled a troll move on this caliber.
Naughty Dog hid important story details and faked their trailers because they knew that what they did to Joel and Ellie in this game was fucking despicable. They kill off Joel a couple hours into the game, they tell us that everything he did in the first game was objectively wrong despite how players felt about it, they treat him like shit in the flashback sequences, they demoralize him throughout the whole game, they did him dirty. Big time.
Ellie isn't any better. She is nothing like she was in the first game. In the first game she was funny, witty, sarcastic, caring, and just an overall loveable person, and also showed signs of weakness despite being a very tough girl. She had as much character as Joel did. I loved Ellie the same way that I loved Joel, that's why the first game worked so well.
But then in the second game, Ellie is entitled, ungrateful, edgy, tryhard, whiny, sadistic, idiotic, and just straight up evil. What in the living fuck did you guys do to Ellie in this game?? I get that this game is supposed to be darker with Joel dying and whatnot, but Ellie is just so unrelatable in this game, and the shit that she does in this game lacks all sense of rhyme or reason, most of which has nothing to do with Joel's death.
Ellie is mad at Joel for lying about the Fireflies so that he could save her, but what Ellie neglects is the fact that not only is it actually fucking impossible to create a vaccine for a fungal infection, and also, what makes Ellie think that the Fireflies aren't just a group of terrorists that were willing to kill a 14 year old for the sake of having the POTENTIAL to get a cure? Joel knows this. And that's why he saved her, not just because he has grown attached to her like he did with Sarah.
But regardless, Ellie acts like a shitty ungrateful asshole to Joel until the day that he actually dies, which is just so fucking unpleasant and you can't help but feel awful for Joel. Joel saves her life numerous times only to be told by Ellie that she doesn't need his help anymore. How utterly disgusting.. What did you guys do to Ellie??
Going back to Joel and Ellie being together, you can't have a Last of Us game with just Joel, and you can't have a Last of Us game with just Ellie. You need to have both. But then Neil Drukkman and Anita Sarkeesian come along with the sequel and are all like "Hey, we want Joel to not have any of the qualities that he had in the first game. We want his reputation burned to the ground and his credibility destroyed within the two hours of the game, and throughout the rest of the game we will continue to demonize both him and Ellie while making a trans friendly character named Abby into the new protagonist and make her look like the good person in comparison."
"Oh, and this Abby person is gonna kill Joel by the way. He saves her life a few times from infected, and she is going to return the favor by blowing off his knee cap with a shotgun, torture him, and then smash his skull in with a golf club, because Joel killed her father at the end of the first game when he saved Ellie from being sacrificed so humanity could MAYBE get a cure."
A cure for a fungal infection..that never existed before the apocalypse..and never will exist...and won't fix how fucked up the world has become with bandits and faction groups at war with each other....
Oh, and Abby's father was just a random NPC in the first game...and he was black...now he is white...
Oh my god my brain. Who thought that this was a good idea? Was no one man enough to step up and say "Neil, what the fuck are you doing? Do you realize that this makes absolutely no sense what so ever and is insanely cliche?"
Oh right, of course no one would speak up, out of fear of losing their job and being shit talked by other developers and higher ups.
This is just absolutely awful, and I feel awful just for witnessing it. They made all the characters in this game unlikable, they demonize Joel and Ellie, the two of them get emasculated and replaced as the protagonists with a sexually conforming or non conforming steroid abusing Hulk Smash bodybuilder/golfer in a fucking ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, every character is killed off as soon as they are introduced, and they try to humanize Abby but they start this off by having her kill your favorite fucking character.
That is just as effective as introducing yourself to your new stepson by sending the little fella a selfie of yourself fucking his mom in the ass while flexing your muscles.
By that point, you despise Abby and everything she stands for, and you just don't care about what happens to her. You just want to see her suffer a slow and painful death.
Why do you think there are numerous and numerous amounts of YouTube compliation videos of players purposefully dying as Abby? Because everyone fucking hates Abby. They don't want to fucking play as her. They want to see her die for killing Joel even before Ellie gets that chance on her revenge quest. We wanted a game with Joel and Ellie. How hard is that to understand?
Also, how in the fuck does Abby keep a swole body like that in a world where a good day is finding some out of date canned bacon in a cupboard?
Abby has been living a good life. She literally lives in a fucking football stadium with other trained soldiers with good food, a library with tons of books, and a gym. A fucking gym. With weight training equipment and whatnot. And then you go outside and there are people cooking burgers on grills and there is a shooting range. There are people lining up in a cafeteria to get BURRITOS. How the fuck?!
Where in the holy mother of shit did these guys get all of this ammo, food, guns, a working firing range, and WEIGHT TRAINING EQUIPMENT 25 years into the fucking apocalypse? It makes no sense!!
In the first Last of Us game, it was a major pain in the ass just to get your hands on a working car battery and gasoline.
This basically makes it even more impossible to feel sorry for Abby, because she is living an incredibly privileged life with good food, high quality living space, and friends who look out for her.
The game is set up so that Abby looks like the good guy in all of this while making Joel and Ellie, the people that we are supposed to root for, into the villains. What kind of madness is this? This is so fucked up and bullshit on so many levels. And the game takes away any sort of player agency so that Abby is the only one who gets a happy ending, while everyone else is either dead, gone, miserable, etc.
You even play as Abby as you beat the shit out of Ellie in a boss fight because Ellie killed her comrades. Why?? Why are we playing as Abby in this fight? So now more than ever, you as the player wants Ellie to defeat Abby, but you can't. Because if you let Ellie kill Abby, the game will just restart the checkpoint. Because then the game would be over and we can all move on with our lives.
Having to play as this freak of nature and then having to beat the shit out of a beloved character and her pregnant girlfriend, who had nothing to do with anything, is just so sickening and distasteful that I can't help but feel nauseous.
And this the second time Abby spares Ellie. The first time was where she forced Ellie to watch her beat her surrogate father to death, and now she spares her again after Lev tells her not to kill Dina.
These characters have so much fucking plot armor that I can't help but laugh at it. These are less like characters and more like objects to push the plot forward.
Only reason why Abby spares them is because Lev tells her to stop.
Ellie goes on a quest to avenge Joel and has put the lives of so many of her comrades on the line and has been through so much suffering and yet at the very moment that she has the chance to kill Abby, she doesn't go through with it. She even lost her fingers so she can't play her guitar anymore which was the very last thing that had her connect to Joel. If someone killed my father or father figure and bit my fingers off in an attempt to kill me then damn fucking well I would kill the bitch, but no, Ellie has a random flashback of Joel while she is drowning Abby and decides "Just fucking go."
This is just a broken narrative on so many factors and it blows my mind that this is the same company that gave us Uncharted 2 and The Last of Us 1. It is hands down the biggest fuck you of an ending I've seen in any game, movie, or TV show.
Abby has killed Joel, killed hundreds of other people, threatened to slit Dina's throat to spite Ellie, and took pleasure in it, took an 8 month pregnant lady on a fucking scavenging mission with her and was totally okay with it, crippled Tommy by shooting him in the leg and then in the eye, she killed Jessie, who was traveling with Ellie and Dina (then again, all Jessie was used in this game was just to be a sperm donor for Dina to push the plot forward, but even though he was bland, he was one of the better characters of this game), and then bit off Ellie's fingers and now she can't play the guitar anymore, and to top it all off, she has sex with Owen, at the same time he's cheating on Mel, while getting off to torturing Joel more, in what can only be described as the most disgusting uncensored hate fuck scene I've ever witnessed in a video game.
Joel died for this by the way
Abby is an absolutely despicable, irredeemable piece of shit. Even Mel, the pregnant lady, said it herself. And yet we are supposed to side with her? And we are supposed to believe that Ellie is totally okay with letting her go? Are you guys out of your fucking minds?? Seriously, I-I...
Wow, I can't even put into words how shocking this is. This is just.. Wow. I thought the Star Wars sequel trilogy was bad. The Last of Us 2 might actually gave me more respect towards that.
Abby is nothing but a projection for Drukkman's distaste for Joel.
Hell, look at the box art for the game's Special Edition. Joel isn't on the fuckin' cover. But do you know who is?
Yep. Abby.
So what was the moral of the story?
REVENGE IS BAD OOOOH
SENSELESS KILLING IS BAAAAD
APPRECIATE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS EVEN THOUGH WE TOOK ALL CONTROL AWAY FROM YOU HOW DO YOU FEEL?!
Ellie carves a murderous, bloody path across the land, like in that game Hatred, where the main protagonist just senselessly slaughters innocent people on sight because life is shit and nilhisitic according to him. But the ONE person that Ellie doesn't kill is the one who started this whole ordeal in the first place, which just made the whole journey a giant fucking waste of time.
Slaughtering hundreds of random people across the game as Ellie is made as if what you are doing is bad and wrong, but the moment that Ellie is seconds away from drowning Abby, after everything that she has done, is the moment where Ellie has an epiphany where REVENGE IS BAD.
It dives into the topic of the cycle of violence, but it fucking shows us and lets us cause that violence. Oh yeah, violence ends the cycle of violence, isn't that right guys?
The game forces you repeatedly into situations where you MUST kill the enemies to advance the plot, including dogs. This game promotes dog killing and killing pregnant women (Ellie kills Mel). However you want to kill the dogs, you can do it. You can stab them in the neck, set them on fire, and even blow their legs off. I'm not kidding. It is absolutely vile.
At least the dogs in Wolfenstein were Nazi trained to eat human flesh, and the dogs in the old Modern Warfare games were trained by the opposing military threat and you have to choice but to defend yourself.
But these dogs aren't Nazi trained or military trained.
These are just regular guard dogs being protective of their owners. This is fucking demented, and perhaps I am saying this because I own pets myself.
But this is all meant to make Ellie look like an even bigger maniacal shithead just to make Abby look better. There is literally a scene where Ellie kills Abby's guard dog in an act of self defense, but then after that it goes into a flashback where Abby is seen playing with the dogs.
And they do this not once, but two times.
See, see? Ellie kills dogs but Abby saves them and plays with them. Her father saved a zebra and therefore you should like him.
Do you like Abby yet?
Do you?
DO YOU?!
And going back to the whole Mel scene, Ellie stabs her in the throat, and that was the moment that the coat opens up and Ellie sees the baby that she just killed.
"Oh no!! Ellie just killed a pregnant woman? What are the ramifications of that?!"
Uh, none??
None.
It's never mentioned again.
Wait, what's that? It's never mentioned again. Just like with the deaths of Manny, Nora, Yara, Owen, Jessie, none of their deaths are mentioned after they die. Soooo.. what was the point?
This is just childish levels of manipulation and stupidity.
You know this whole Abby shit is bad when they hid Abby in all the trailers pre-release but then also releases an Abby Trailer 6 months after the game comes out, which just shows the level of sheer incompetence that is going on at Naughty Dog right now.
Christ, I didn't even get into the other characters. You have other characters in Abby's group. You have Manny who at the start is vicious, he spits on our father figure's dead body and just goes around shouting PENEDJO every five fucking minutes but then later on he is all like "Ayyyyy I am Manny, I get all the pussy, I fuck her, and a her, and a her, and I got a sex dungeon in the city where I do my fucking!"
Oh? Manny is meant to be likeable?
And then Owen does remain relatively consistent throughout, that is until he gets Mel pregnant but then cheats on her with Abby...
Oh good God...
And Mel is the bestest ever surgeon and the bestest ever archer, and then Yara comes along, and Lev comes along, and Lev is a transexual who wants his mother to accept him in a world where people are getting eaten by fucking PLANT MONSTERS, and being raped, murdered, and looted by bandits, random strangers, and faction groups.
This is a world where you're trying to get a roof over your head, where you're trying to find a meal, where you're trying to get clothes, where you're trying to gear yourself up to survive against hordes of infected, but no, we gotta worry about gender and being accepted. In the zombie apocalypse. Sweet fucking Jesus.
Yara's arm becomes septic and it needs to be operated on so then Abby goes off to find the tools needed and she has to look after Lev, Joel and Ellie style, which in game takes around 2 and a half hours. But then that was all a waste of time because she ends up dying trying to protect Lev against a WLF attack, cause well, the WLF are at war with the Scars.
And before that happens, Lev goes back to the village of Haven where his mother is, because he wants his mom to accept him as a boy instead of a girl, but his mother hates the idea of that, so she tries to kill fuckin' him, so then Lev ends up killing his own mother.
Just... What the fuck, dude.
And all the while this is happening, there is a goddamn faction war going on in the background where the WLF and the Scars are slaughtering each other.
The WLF is the organization that Abby works for. Because Lev is a Scar, Abby vows by her life to protect him, and because of this, the WLF labels Abby as a traitor, so they try to kill her. So you and Lev are literally going around killing hundreds of your own people.
Then you reach the village of the Scars, then you're shooting at people on a horse and everything and everyone is burning around you, and then you're fighting this HUGE guy with a sledgehammer and it's just like....
Jesus Christ my braaaaainnn!
You guys are juggling so many balls at once that you forgot what you were supposed to be doing. This game is so fucking bloated. It needed to be trimmed down by at least 8-10 hours. Because most of the time it is going nowhere trying to build all of these characters to try to make them likeable and it's just so messy.
You're just going here to here, here to here, here to here, and you don't feel as if there is a reason for doing any of it.
And the infected have become completely trivialized in this game. The infected are everything that drives the plot of the first game, but here, they barely mean anything.
And Ellie's immunity to the infection doesn't mean anything anymore either. There is a moment in the game where Ellie and her girlfriend Dina are running from a horde of Infected and Ellie's gas mask breaks, because she is trying to hide her immunity. Dina is horrified by the fact that Ellie is breathing in spores. When they get to the theater, Ellie reveals to Dina that she was bitten many years ago but she never turned, because she is immune.
It's supposed to be a moment of revelation, and what does Dina do? She decides to COUNTERACT Ellie by saying "Oh! I think I'm pregnant!!"
And it's such a comical CW moment. Nothing ever gets to sit and rest. It feels like Ellie and Dina are less like lovers and more like two middle aged men trying to one up each other.
Dina doesn't even get that much development throughout. Her motivations are never clear as to why she wants to go with Ellie. All the game tells you is that the two of them started dating the day that Joel dies and all of a sudden we are expected to be attached to the two of them, without any sort of prior development.
And while Joel was having his head smashed in by Abby, Ellie and Dina neglect their patrol by smoking weed, talking about a kiss the two had the day before, and then proceed to have off screen sex with each other.
In the beginning of the game, Abby and her crew are absolutely vicious and unforgiving, but then later on, none of them reflect on what they did, especially Abby. She doesn't reflect on anything or regret anything that she did. In fact, they turn all of these characters into completely different people just to try to get the player to sympathize and relate to them, and it is just so basic, manipulative, and flat out childish.
It's almost like this game was made by a nihilist serial killer hiding underneath its wretched skin ready to murder everything that you loved about your childhood.
We have waited 7 years for a continuation to The Last of Us 1, and when we finally get it, they shit all over Joel and Ellie, they make you focus on entirely different characters that you just can't relate or connect to, and yet you spend more time with them than with the characters that you have been waiting all these years to play as, and by the end of the game everyone is either dead or broken.
And all of the new characters that you do actually like in this game are again, dead, gone, or broken.
Remember that scene in Last of Us 1 just before Joel and Ellie get to the Firefly Hospital, Ellie tells Joel that everything that they had been through cannot be for nothing? Well sorry to say kiddo, but everything you went through was all for nothing in the end. You lost your father figure, you lost your girlfriend and her child, you lost your friend Jessie, your Uncle in law Tommy lost his wife and disappeared as a crippled man, and you lost your fingers so you can't play guitar anymore.
This really is the most miserable end to a game in history. Then again, the whole game is miserable. Nothing gets to sit in. There is no light hearted moments to speak of in this game. The first game had some funny and light hearted moments in it to break up the sorrow moments. But in The Last of Us 2, the whole game is just compounded misery porn.
There is so much darkness, so much hatred and sorrow, that it just becomes extremely tiring after a while. I became desensitized and immune to it eventually. And it gets to a point of parody, because it's nothing but people dying and suffering. It's death, death, death, death, death, death, death, and more goddamn death.
And this constant death makes it extremely difficult to get attached to anyone, so when someone does die, I couldn't give a shit. Because almost every fucking person in this game gets killed off. Joel, Jessie, Owen, Manny, Mel, Nora, Yara, etc.
The game fantasizes and promotes really god awful shit like dog killing and sending out pregnant women to the frontlines of combat with a fucking UNBORN CHILD. What?!
So it wants to be against the cycle of violence and how revenge is bad, but it glorifies the very thing that it's fighting against, it's very hypocritical.
"But, but, but, but, Kat, that's the whole point of the game. Look at the reaction it's getting from you. That's why Neil Drukkman did it. He did it to SuBveRt OuR ExPectAtIons."
tongue spitting noises
By subverting our expectations you mean by giving us something that none of us have asked for. By appealing to everyone but your loyal customers, the people who are fucking woke activists, people who don't actually buy, play, and support your products in the first place. Neil Drukkman set out to make a game that HE wanted to make that HE wanted it to be made just to pander. The moment you decided to go against your fans and kiss Anita Sarkeesian's feet was the moment you fucked up, Neil. Because now most people have completely lost interest in not just this game, but also the future of your company.
This game is the equivalent of someone having daddy issues seeking therapeutic relief by channeling all of his hatred into a video game narrative and then shitting all over people who are either white, male, straight, or a combination of all three.
You have divided your customer base like what Disney and Lucasfilm is doing with Star Wars. And look at how that is turning out for the franchise.
All I can say is lmfao and good luck in the future, because you're gonna really need it.
This game is the textbook example of how NOT to make a sequel to a beloved game. You guys really should take a look at the book called "Customer Service for Dummies." and then come back to us when you guys have an idea on how to make good video games again.
[GAMEPLAY]
There isn't much to talk about here. Outdated would be the best word to describe it. Aside from a few rope puzzles and safe code cracking sequences, this game barely does anything to evolve the gameplay from the first game. The shooting is still as clunky as the first game, and there is now a jump button, and a dodge button unlike in the first game, oh yeeaah.
It also rehashes the same melee mechanics from the first game. You just mash square mindlessly except this time you push L1 to dodge which somehow makes combat flow even slower, because there are times where you HAVE to push dodge or else your enemy will just keep endlessly attacking you.
According from what I have read online, the jump button was invented in 1978. So excuse me for not shitting my bed with excitement with this new addition to the franchise, a game mechanic that is literally as old as a fucking Back to the Future Delorian car.
Also you barely ever use the jump button so that's nice as well.
The game also has the exact same crafting mechanics from the first game, almost every item requires the same ingredients to make just like in the first game, except now you can craft things like explosive arrows and oil can suppressors.
You can also go prone and hide in tall grass.
Um, can I just address something?
Metal Gear Solid 2 from 2001 did all of this before. Suppressors, proning, CQC combat, it even had dive rolling, all of this was done before, so what exactly did The Last of Us 2 bring to the table in terms of innovating the gameplay again?
It feels like this game is stuck in the last generation, because it just rehashes the gameplay mechanics from the first game. It's The Last of Us 1, but worse. A lot worse. That's the best I can describe it.
There are many other games that do stealth better than this, there are hundreds of games that do shooting better than this, and there are thousands of games that have a better story than this.
Abby is so "badass and cool" that she gets all of the best weapons and upgrades in the game.
Because unlike Ellie, Abby gets a flamethrower, a hunting pistol that is capable of one shotting enemies, a double barrel shotgun with incendiary rounds, a crossbow, and a semi-auto assault rifle.
I swear to God this game was designed to be Abby and Lev's game instead of Joel and Ellie's.
Funny enough, watching Abby run around aimlessly punching the ever living shit out of people with her massive WWE arms is one of the best parts about this game. There's just something so utterly stupid about it, it's hilarious. Like watching a female version of Hulk Hogan going ape shit on zombies and other people.
Watching her sprinting and pinning someone on a wall while screaming "FUCK YOU BRO" and then punching them to death is all I think about in my head.
The stealth mechanics are still exactly the same as well. You can stab people repeatedly in the neck as you please and delight in the blood gurgling sounds as your enemy fears for his/her shambling of their mortal coil.
And when you're running around being a murderous psychopath, you are running around listening to pointless exposition as you are picking up crap all over the place.
Pick up shit there, pick up shit there, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. It's literally a picking up crap simulator.
The first game had this too but at least the characters and the writing actually broke up the repetition of jogging around and looting for materials, it felt real and grounded.
Since you fight dogs now, you can actually see them in your Listen Mode. You can also see them tracking your scent. I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure that you can't be stinky enough to be able to literally SEE your own stench..using..your ears..
Uhhhh, what??
Am I fuckin' crazy or does this make no sense at all?
And holy mother of shit, the violence in this game is just horrifying. It is unnecessarily gory, and I've played every DOOM game. The first Last of Us game had violent stuff in it as well but it was kept at a moderate level. I like violent video games, but they went above and beyond to make the violence in Last of Us 2 as sadistic and uncomfortable as humanly possible. It really doesn't help that you seem to fight a lot more human enemies than infected which just makes it all more unpleasant.
And in the first game, Joel only had to commit violent deeds because he did it to protect Ellie. But Ellie in The Last of Us 2 just goes on a murderous rampage, and some of the shit that she does in this game is so, so much worse than the shit that Joel did.
Enemies scream and shout out each other's names when killed in a pathetic attempt to generate empathy, which is yet another stupid gimmick just to make the player feel bad.
This is a game where you are forced to be a bloodthirsty murderous cunt, takes away any sort of player agency, all with Ellie saying stupid insults and comments, and all the while, the game is trying to have some sort of bulked narrative that tries to teach you about the consequences of your actions.
This is a game where it is essentially a murder simulator, but then stupidly thought that the player would feel bad about the choices that they DID NOT make. It's embarrassing.
I will say one thing and say that they did do a great job with all the accessibility settings. They went all out to make The Last of Us 2 the most accessible game ever. There are like 60 different options to choose from . You can basically play the game however you want. The game has gotten much deserved praise from disabled people.
But, does that mean anything in the end? Because even though the game is the most accessible game out there right now, and even if the gameplay was more polished and had more mechanics to truly evolve it, and even if the game is the most beautiful looking game I've ever seen, why the hell would you want to play it anyway? The game is miserable from beginning to end. No matter how good the gameplay is, the story is still shit, and the game hates you for playing it.
This is basically the equivalent of giving your money to a friend to go bring back some breakfast for the two of you from iHop, but then when he comes home he spits in your food, because you two have certain.. disagreements with each other.
We don't play The Last of Us because we can punch people, craft molotov cocktails to throw at dogs, stab people in the throat, move objects around to solve trivial puzzles, and blow people's legs off with a shotgun. We play The Last of Us for the story. And if the story is bad, the game is bad. That's just by the by.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
I may have slagged the shit out of this game, but there are good things about it as I have mentioned before. Beautiful graphics and animations, the weapon upgrading is both eye and ear candy, the guns feel good to use despite the clunky aiming, and the soundtrack, while isn't as good as the first games', it's still really damn good. And the praise it got for the insane amount of accessibility options from disabled gamers is heartfelt.
But all of the good of this game is completely overshadowed by everything that is wrong with it. It's a very pretty game, but that's all I can say about it. Playing through it is just fuckin' insufferable.
I've never played a game that is so aggressively against the player in everything it stands for. It is quite literally an anti-video game.
As if it wasn't enough that this game is as truly horrific as it was, it's even worse when you consider just how awfully the developers were treated at Naughty Dog just to churn this shit out. This is just another reason on top of everything else that is simply why I just can't support this game. Neil Drukkman crunched the living shit out his development team to the point that employees had to be hospitalized, I wish I was joking.
Throughout the course of development between Uncharted 4 and The Last of Us 2, there has been around a 70% employee turnover, for multiple reasons. They were given unpaid overtime, the work conditions were toxic as hell, and they hated the direction Neil Drukkman took the story in. This is the largest amount of employee turnover I have ever seen for a game studio.
These guys had to start hiring people in the film and television industry for assistance because they simply were losing too many people who worked on previous games. It is a total fucking disaster.
Not to mention Neil Drukkman attacked the fans on social media, not only calling us bigots, homophobic, sexist, etc. for hating the direction he took the story in, but also actively tried to take down YouTube channels and ruin their livelihoods who dared to talk about the god awful decisions he made with the characters and the direction of the story in contrast to the first game, and how it just rectons everything for the sake of promoting his ABBY SMASH character.
If you dared to question Neil, you would get labeled as a phobic or something, when it has nothing to do with that. I don't care what your gender or sexual orientation is. I am a Pansexual femboy, and my last ex girlfriend was trans.
I'm just mad that you took everything I loved about the Last of Us 1 and had none of it carry over into Part 2. I have seen Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction that is written way better than this. I've seen better writing choices in modern Pokemon movies.
Neil Drukkman sacrifices the artistic integrity of the first game and what everyone loved about it for the sake of pushing stereotypes of intersectional groups, yet he is so surprised when none of us liked that. It's fucking cheap, lazy, and disrespectful to the people who worked really hard on that game.
I know that Haley Gross is the Co-Director, but it's very clear who had all of the power in this shitty theater play.
All of this destruction for the sake of pandering to Anita Sarkeesian and people like her, like the LGBT community and the Social Justice Warrior community. But even the LGBT and some SJWs themselves fucking hate the game. So they even failed to appeal to the very people that they were trying to pander to. That's just humiliating.
All over Twitter are hundreds of pictures of unsold copies of the game from all over the world, just sitting and rotting on store shelves. There's fucking thousands of them!!
I've seen streamers taking the discs out and cutting the damn things up live on stream. I've seen how Neil Drukkman provoked the people who hated The Last of Us 2 by telling us that he was having his fanboy army spam voting for the game to win Game of the Year, and what happened? People like myself responded and got Ghost of Tsushima to win.
Drukkman is such a spiteful, hateful little man is he not? The fact that he is so smug all the time really speaks volumes of his character.
A lot of these Last of Us 2 copies were returned, because people don't want them. It got to the point where stores that sold games were rejecting any more returns because there were just too many copies, they couldn't handle any more.
You wanna know what this reminds of? E.T. the Extra Terrestrial on the Atari 2600. Yeah, it's that fucking bad. Maybe it won't be long until someone tries to bury all of the copies in a landfill, if they can't be given away for free. Even then, you would have to pay me to play this shit again.
I know that the game did make record sales in its opening week, and I think it was the #6 best selling game of 2020 period, but here is something you have to consider. The fact that the game dropped in sales at least 80% globally in week two, and considering the massive amount of returns of the game has, where do you think it is right now, if these sites actually updated the numbers after all the returns? In 6 months time, or even a year, where is it gonna be? I'm pretty sure around half of the copies that were sold were given back to stores, that's just speculation after seeing photos of resales on Twitter for 2+ hours.
The game will only sell a small fraction of what The Last of Us 1 did, so when you think about that, that's terrible for a sequel to a beloved game, especially when you compare it to other high quality Sony exclusive games like, I don't know..
God of War?
Horizon Zero Dawn?
Days Gone?
Marvel's Spider-Man?
Who knows, Sony and Naughty Dog might have lost money on this game. The best comparison I could make are the Justice League and Birds of Prey movies.
You guys at Naughty Dog preach about women while at the same time, you are the type who cancel other people who have their own opinions and thoughts. COUGH GINA CARANO
But this is where we are at in 21st century entertainment. Where companies are selfish people by nature. If a game isn't stuffed to the brim with greedy anti-consumer microtransactions, it's stuffed to the brim with anti-consumer ultra progressive and hateful woke identity politics and vicious hypocritical rhetoric.
Because that's what they want to give us apparently.
It's almost as if there is no such thing as escapism in our video games anymore. Everything now has to be political and preachy or else we are bigots who need to be "educated"... Wha??
I have nothing against women and feminism, but if you are one of those radical extremists that tells me that I should be dead or my livelihood should burn to the ground because I am an independent person with my own thoughts and opinions and they don't fall under your agenda, then I will just say that you are no better than the spread of Communism propaganda during the late 20th century.
[FINAL MESSAGE TO NEIL DRUKKMAN]
This is a game that wants to make you miserable and at a price. Neil Drukkman went on record by saying that The Last of Us 2 is about hatred. Well congratulations, Neil, because almost everyone hates this game, and almost everyone hates you.
I don't hate you solely because of the fact that you are a leftist, Neil. I hate you because you botched this highly anticipated game with your dreadful writing, and then you tried to blame it on the supposed sexism and homophobia of the "alt-Right", which is just so outrageous.
You shoved politics down our throats, so now people like myself are forced to talk about it even though I frankly hate doing so.
And it's terrible, because politics are never an easy thing to talk about without getting someone triggered, hence why I get so pissed when I see this shit in my games.
I really hate talking about politics, but this game forces it upon me, so it's literally designed to be a trap.
I'm just a guy who bitches about games from the comfort of my basement. But if Naughty Dog wants to talk about the gator underneath the bed, I gotta fuckin' talk about the gator underneath the bed. And I knew before I even wrote this review that I was going to get some shit for it. But that is the risk that I have to take in order to get my opinions out there.
Neil even went as far as to pull off a Kurt Cobain by saying "If you don't like it then don't buy it."
Yeah, because that worked so well when EA did it when people were complaining about Battlefield 5.
This game really has brought out the worst in people. It's a game that is a culmination of all of 2020's hatred and malice. Is this what video games are trying to be now? Less like fun games and more like 50 shades of gray progressive vessels to preach to the audience?
You lied to people using dishonest promotional material just to sell more copies at launch.
You tried to cowardly screw over the YouTube community with false DMCA takedown claims and nearly ruined years of work into their channels because they had the audacity to call you out on your shitty writing choices, even innocent people who just reported on the fact that the game's spoilers were leaked months before release. Livestreams were shut down mid-session just for simply discussing this whole shitshow going down.
Hell, even memes on Twitter were taken down. MEMES!
What the fuck was the point of that? The only thing that did was expose you for abusing copyright.
(Can I just mention that all of this is illegal because it violates Fair Use policy?)
You completely changed the personalities of beloved characters from the first game for the sake of creating artificial conflict.
You killed off Joel in the most traumatizing and disrespectful way you could have done it.
You took everything about Ellie that we loved in the first game and utterly butchered her while also taking away everything that she fought for.
You forced us to play as a character we didn't want to for 10+ hours straight who murdered Joel in a lazy half-assed attempt to get us to sympathize with her.
You made us kill and brutalize dogs in the most inhumane ways possible after you said we wouldn't have to.
You lied to everyone by saying that Ellie was the only playable character in the game.
You made the zombies in this zombie apocalypse game irrelevant.
You made us watch an utterly gross explicit uncensored Abby sex scene despite of Sony's hypocritical stance on censorship policies.
You shoved representation and bulking women down our throats to get extra doggie treats from Anita Sarkeesian.
And I know I have mentioned Anita a lot but that's only cause she was involved in the development of this game. It turns out that Anita served as a lot of inspiration for Neil's abortion of a story.
You gave Abby, the clear villain, the only good ending out of everyone else in this game.
7 years of development and this was the best that you could come up with? Seriously, you are a disgrace to video game development and the gaming community at large. Your presence is a plague in an industry that millions upon millions of people have expressed so much passion for. You went as far as to put your employees' health in jeopardy as long as it meant that you could shove the game out the door as quick as possible. You have no respect for the art form that you are supposed to represent.
Joel and Ellie, and your fans of the first Last of Us game, deserved so much better than what you have done to them. All I can say is fuck you, dude, you manipulative piece of shit.
And yet games journalism and media is just eating it the fuck up while also siding with the corporation. It's a very fucked up situation.
Well, guess I'll just go back to Days Gone and Ghost of Tsushima, at least those guys actually care about their fans.
And I doubt that the TV show and the Multiplayer to The Last of Us 2 will fully ever come to fruition and reach their full potential, considering how badly received the single player is being received. It will literally be a Game of Thrones situation where everyone will have lost interest and will just move onto other things instead.
I mean you know it's bad when only around a week and a half after the game came out, I went on Twitter and saw pictures of the game being sold for only $40 by major retailers such as WalMart, Target, Best Buy, etc.
There are very few other AAA games that has been put into a position like this. And the developers at Naughty Dog have no one to blame but themselves.
3/10
Edit: And the comments to this are already fucking priceless.
"DUDE so are you saying FFVIIR, Nioh 2, and Days Gone were also desperate? That they had to go on $20 sales because they were losing
Money? Or do you think it was just because EVERY PS4 GAME WENT ON SALE FOR BLACK FRIDAY LOL"
Yeah no fucking shit, Sherlock. But all of those games that I mentioned in my response are games that have come out long before The Last of Us 2 did. The Last of Us 2 is less than a year old and even right now, I could dead ass go to my local Gamestop a couple miles from my home, and grab a mint condition copy of the game for $18-25, when other games like FFVIIR, Sekiro, Kingdom Hearts 3 with the ReMind DLC, Metro Exodus, and Remnant from the Ashes are still going for $30-45. And these games have not went on sale Digitally as many times as The Last of Us 2 did.
It won't be long until I probably start seeing the game inside of bargain bins at my local Family Dollar.
You wanna know why these other games go on sale? Lemme tell you sweetheart. It's not because these developers are desperate to sell more copies, they're just making it easier for people to afford them, especially considering how tough times have gotten this past year. Money has become harder to come by, more people are stuck in their houses everyday with nothing better to do. What is your excuse?
Ghost of Tsushima went on sale Digitally only a couple months after release but that's only cause physical copies were selling like hotcakes. So much so that it's pretty much impossible to find any. Stores were completely empty of them. And since the free Multiplayer update was coming which brought the hype train right back up again, people wanted the game more than ever.
That's called releasing a quality product and being committed to it to keeping your fans happy. You keep good relations with your consumers, they will keep coming back and investing in your product(s). That's how business works.
Or at least, that's how it should work.. But this AAA gaming industry never really learn anything do they?
You know, when I write reviews for bad games, I like to make funny jokes just to spice it up instead of just being totally bleak the whole way through. But, I can't do that here. I'm just so angry that words cannot possibly describe the mental anguish, grief, and sheer dumbfounding disbelief that a game like this has costed me.
Just a bit of context, I am a huge fan of the original Last of Us. Huge is an understatement. It is my favorite video game of all time next to games like Final Fantasy VI and Metal Gear Solid 3, it's #1 on my top 5 favorite games of all time. The impact that the game has left on me when I was a teenager and how it taught me many important life lessons and carried me through some of the most depressing times of my life during my high school days, it cannot be underestimated.
I am now 24 years old and I still believe that The Last of Us 1 is truly lightning in a bottle, a game that cannot be replicated the same way Naughty Dog did all those years ago. I love the game so much that I got the platinum trophy for the game not once, but twice, and have spent a minimum of 500 hours on the Factions Multiplayer. That's how much I couldn't get enough of it. I've played all of Naughty Dog's games since the original Crash Bandicoot on the PS1, they've been my all-time favorite video game company, and to think that a single game could have made them fall from grace this much, it's truly heartbreaking and it has majorly affected me as a gamer. I don't get hyped for games anymore because of this. That and Cyberpunk 2077.
Which is why it is so painful to write a review for the sequel. When it was revealed in 2016 I was literally crying. I was more hyped for that game than any other. I bought my PS4 for the remaster of The Last of Us 1 and was damn ready for Part II. It's not a perfect game but it is MY perfect game, so I was expecting the sequel to not be able to surpass it. I mean, the first game was so masterfully crafted, how could the sequel surpass it anyway? Even then, I was at least expecting it to be a fantastic fuckin' game and not what we ended up getting.
How did we end up going from The Last of Us 1 which got 9/10s and 10/10s across the board across every gaming site from fans to The Last of Us 2 which had a User Score of 3.3 at launch on Metacritic? COUGH I mean Betacritic since they disabled the ability to write negative reviews which raised the aggregate User Score to a 5.7 because they have certain "priorities" to uphold.
This shit truly blows my mind and is something that I will never forget. This whole fiasco is such a shitshow that it's giving me flashbacks of god awful games and movies like Fallout 76, Star Wars The Last Jedi, Game of Thrones Season 8, Ride to Hell Retribution, the final season of Breaking Bad, Captain Marvel, Batwoman, Silent Hill HD Collection, Metal Gear Survive, and Battlefield 5.
The majority of these games, movies, and TV shows have absolutely BUTCHERED their respective IPs and franchises, and The Last of Us has also fallen victim to this ongoing trend. It's like the beginning of the end of entertainment as we know it.
The Last of Us Part 2 is one of the most, if not, the most miserable, anti-consumer, self-indulgent, incoherent, preachy, cowardly, soulless, manipulative, misleading, and downright offensive games I have ever played and witnessed in my entire life. I can't believe this game was even made, and most others believe the same way since they don't even acknowledge that this game is canon to the franchise.
This game has created such a disconnect between the gamers, game journalists, and the developers themselves that it has created one of the greatest onslaught of memes, hate videos, and the biggest drop in sales for a game one week after launch I have ever witnessed, and it is both brutal and hilarious. Naughty Dog and Directors Neil Drukkman and Haley Gross should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for taking everything that people loved for the past seven years and completely obliterating it.
And this is why people are stepping away from these woke SJW trash companies like IGN, Gamespot, Polygon, Kotaku, etc. and they're moving onto YouTube personalities instead for reliable information and reviews, because a good chunk of em' don't follow a bias and will tell you what you should be knowing, and don't praise a game because it has woke inclusion in it for the sake of pandering.
I don't consider the average YouTuber to be professional by any means, at least in the way that you might be thinking, but for god sake, these game journalists are not even real gamers, they're fuckin' activists. In reality, they hate video games and the people that play and support them. They're not about covering games, they only care for the diversity and inclusion box ticking. That and free early access review copies along with advertising revenue.
The review process and embargo for gaming access is absolutely broken, and there should be changes. All the way until launch you were not allowed to talk about anything involving Joel, Abby, the ending, etc.
Which is like half of the entire game.
This might be the longest review for a game I will ever write, even longer than my Cyberpunk 2077 review, but if you're reading all of this, I thank you.
[STORY]
Joel, our most beloved character dies only 2 hours into the game. And this game is 25-30 hours long. Let's do a calculation really quick.
2 out of 25 as a percentage is 8..
2 out of 30 as a percentage is 6.66...
Are you telling me that out of this 25-30 hour game, Joel is alive 6-8% of the entire game, not including the flashback sequences? Are you fucking kidding me???
Why is the character that we bonded so much with in the first game dies only two hours into Part 2, and he is only playable for FIVE MINUTES in the introduction on horseback?? How can you even call this a Last of Us game without Joel and Ellie? The whole point of the first game is about them, as well as the surrounding characters that support them throughout their journey. But if you don't have Joel and Ellie together like you did before, the game will just lose its purpose, weight, and most of all, investment.
The moment you killed off Joel so abruptly, you created a huge disconnect with the player, and as a result, the game just becomes boring, and it lacks the depth and soul that the first game had.
See, Joel dying as a concept is not a bad idea. In fact, I actually did think before the game came out that he was going to die. But the way they handled it was just so rushed, so forced, so nonsensical, and it had no agency to it. It just comes out of the blue and we just have to deal with it.
Joel's established character from the first game, hell even Tommy's character was dumbed down severely for the sake of being put into a position to be easily ambushed in order to push the plot forward, because there is no way that a scenario like this would happen in the previous game. And there is a reason for this. Joel is less like a character in this game and more like a plot device to drive Ellie's story arc.
The Last of Us 2 became about identity politics instead of moral dilemmas. This game is a werewolf crossed with a Social Justice Warrior. People in the game were arbitrarily good or bad depending on their gender, their sexual orientation, or their views on the world.
The bigot sandwich scene comes to mind. It's only 10 minutes into the game and it was one of the dumbest scenes I've seen in a very long time.
Ellie gets into a dispute with this guy named Seth because of the fact that she is in love with Dina and the two of them have a dance and make out, and Seth calls Ellie a dyke, which is a derogatory term for lesbian.
But it was only because he was drunk and he had no control over what he said, so the next day he tries to make it up to Ellie by making her some sandwiches to take with her on her scouting mission, but instead of accepting his peace offering, she calls him a bigot and just gives the food to Jessie.
Uh, what the fuck?? Okay, first of all, who the fuck says the word "bigot" 25 years into an apocalypse? And furthermore, how did Ellie not know what an ice cream truck was in the first Last of Us game, but in this game she knows what the word bigot means?
In the first game Ellie didn't even know how to whistle for god sake. Now I'm supposed to to believe that she is knowledgeable on bigotry?? Who the fuck would even teach her that?
I guess it would seem that cancel culture is alive and well in a world like this.
Not to mention, this is the APOCOLYPSE. Food and resources are scarce as fuck in times like these. You wouldn't normally just reject something like food when food like that is very fucking hard to come by. Ellie was forced to eat human flesh in the first game, but I guess now politics are more important.
I don't care if he called you the D word, just take the goddamn sandwiches!
My god. And I'm only just getting started.
Naughty Dog retconed the living shit out the first game just so they could cuck Joel and Ellie and antagonize them.
The marketing of this game flat out lied to you. Naughty Dog actually pulled a Cyberpunk and faked all of their trailers. They pulled a bait and switch and actually swapped out character models in the trailers to make it look like we were going to get another Joel and Ellie journey, so that they could sell more copies when the game came out.
This is some of the most evil shit I have ever seen a company do. They fooled everyone with this deceptive advertising, which makes me wonder why CD Projekt Red are getting such an incredible amount of shit from both gamers and their shareholders, with lawsuits, stock plummets, and their company getting straight up hacked and having their games being held up for ransom, but Sony and Naughty Dog gets to walk away unscathed. Seriously, not even EA or Activision have pulled a troll move on this caliber.
Naughty Dog hid important story details and faked their trailers because they knew that what they did to Joel and Ellie in this game was fucking despicable. They kill off Joel a couple hours into the game, they tell us that everything he did in the first game was objectively wrong despite how players felt about it, they treat him like shit in the flashback sequences, they demoralize him throughout the whole game, they did him dirty. Big time.
Ellie isn't any better. She is nothing like she was in the first game. In the first game she was funny, witty, sarcastic, caring, and just an overall loveable person, and also showed signs of weakness despite being a very tough girl. She had as much character as Joel did. I loved Ellie the same way that I loved Joel, that's why the first game worked so well.
But then in the second game, Ellie is entitled, ungrateful, edgy, tryhard, whiny, sadistic, idiotic, and just straight up evil. What in the living fuck did you guys do to Ellie in this game?? I get that this game is supposed to be darker with Joel dying and whatnot, but Ellie is just so unrelatable in this game, and the shit that she does in this game lacks all sense of rhyme or reason, most of which has nothing to do with Joel's death.
Ellie is mad at Joel for lying about the Fireflies so that he could save her, but what Ellie neglects is the fact that not only is it actually fucking impossible to create a vaccine for a fungal infection, and also, what makes Ellie think that the Fireflies aren't just a group of terrorists that were willing to kill a 14 year old for the sake of having the POTENTIAL to get a cure? Joel knows this. And that's why he saved her, not just because he has grown attached to her like he did with Sarah.
But regardless, Ellie acts like a shitty ungrateful asshole to Joel until the day that he actually dies, which is just so fucking unpleasant and you can't help but feel awful for Joel. Joel saves her life numerous times only to be told by Ellie that she doesn't need his help anymore. How utterly disgusting.. What did you guys do to Ellie??
Going back to Joel and Ellie being together, you can't have a Last of Us game with just Joel, and you can't have a Last of Us game with just Ellie. You need to have both. But then Neil Drukkman and Anita Sarkeesian come along with the sequel and are all like "Hey, we want Joel to not have any of the qualities that he had in the first game. We want his reputation burned to the ground and his credibility destroyed within the two hours of the game, and throughout the rest of the game we will continue to demonize both him and Ellie while making a trans friendly character named Abby into the new protagonist and make her look like the good person in comparison."
"Oh, and this Abby person is gonna kill Joel by the way. He saves her life a few times from infected, and she is going to return the favor by blowing off his knee cap with a shotgun, torture him, and then smash his skull in with a golf club, because Joel killed her father at the end of the first game when he saved Ellie from being sacrificed so humanity could MAYBE get a cure."
A cure for a fungal infection..that never existed before the apocalypse..and never will exist...and won't fix how fucked up the world has become with bandits and faction groups at war with each other....
Oh, and Abby's father was just a random NPC in the first game...and he was black...now he is white...
Oh my god my brain. Who thought that this was a good idea? Was no one man enough to step up and say "Neil, what the fuck are you doing? Do you realize that this makes absolutely no sense what so ever and is insanely cliche?"
Oh right, of course no one would speak up, out of fear of losing their job and being shit talked by other developers and higher ups.
This is just absolutely awful, and I feel awful just for witnessing it. They made all the characters in this game unlikable, they demonize Joel and Ellie, the two of them get emasculated and replaced as the protagonists with a sexually conforming or non conforming steroid abusing Hulk Smash bodybuilder/golfer in a fucking ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, every character is killed off as soon as they are introduced, and they try to humanize Abby but they start this off by having her kill your favorite fucking character.
That is just as effective as introducing yourself to your new stepson by sending the little fella a selfie of yourself fucking his mom in the ass while flexing your muscles.
By that point, you despise Abby and everything she stands for, and you just don't care about what happens to her. You just want to see her suffer a slow and painful death.
Why do you think there are numerous and numerous amounts of YouTube compliation videos of players purposefully dying as Abby? Because everyone fucking hates Abby. They don't want to fucking play as her. They want to see her die for killing Joel even before Ellie gets that chance on her revenge quest. We wanted a game with Joel and Ellie. How hard is that to understand?
Also, how in the fuck does Abby keep a swole body like that in a world where a good day is finding some out of date canned bacon in a cupboard?
Abby has been living a good life. She literally lives in a fucking football stadium with other trained soldiers with good food, a library with tons of books, and a gym. A fucking gym. With weight training equipment and whatnot. And then you go outside and there are people cooking burgers on grills and there is a shooting range. There are people lining up in a cafeteria to get BURRITOS. How the fuck?!
Where in the holy mother of shit did these guys get all of this ammo, food, guns, a working firing range, and WEIGHT TRAINING EQUIPMENT 25 years into the fucking apocalypse? It makes no sense!!
In the first Last of Us game, it was a major pain in the ass just to get your hands on a working car battery and gasoline.
This basically makes it even more impossible to feel sorry for Abby, because she is living an incredibly privileged life with good food, high quality living space, and friends who look out for her.
The game is set up so that Abby looks like the good guy in all of this while making Joel and Ellie, the people that we are supposed to root for, into the villains. What kind of madness is this? This is so fucked up and bullshit on so many levels. And the game takes away any sort of player agency so that Abby is the only one who gets a happy ending, while everyone else is either dead, gone, miserable, etc.
You even play as Abby as you beat the shit out of Ellie in a boss fight because Ellie killed her comrades. Why?? Why are we playing as Abby in this fight? So now more than ever, you as the player wants Ellie to defeat Abby, but you can't. Because if you let Ellie kill Abby, the game will just restart the checkpoint. Because then the game would be over and we can all move on with our lives.
Having to play as this freak of nature and then having to beat the shit out of a beloved character and her pregnant girlfriend, who had nothing to do with anything, is just so sickening and distasteful that I can't help but feel nauseous.
And this the second time Abby spares Ellie. The first time was where she forced Ellie to watch her beat her surrogate father to death, and now she spares her again after Lev tells her not to kill Dina.
These characters have so much fucking plot armor that I can't help but laugh at it. These are less like characters and more like objects to push the plot forward.
Only reason why Abby spares them is because Lev tells her to stop.
Ellie goes on a quest to avenge Joel and has put the lives of so many of her comrades on the line and has been through so much suffering and yet at the very moment that she has the chance to kill Abby, she doesn't go through with it. She even lost her fingers so she can't play her guitar anymore which was the very last thing that had her connect to Joel. If someone killed my father or father figure and bit my fingers off in an attempt to kill me then damn fucking well I would kill the bitch, but no, Ellie has a random flashback of Joel while she is drowning Abby and decides "Just fucking go."
This is just a broken narrative on so many factors and it blows my mind that this is the same company that gave us Uncharted 2 and The Last of Us 1. It is hands down the biggest fuck you of an ending I've seen in any game, movie, or TV show.
Abby has killed Joel, killed hundreds of other people, threatened to slit Dina's throat to spite Ellie, and took pleasure in it, took an 8 month pregnant lady on a fucking scavenging mission with her and was totally okay with it, crippled Tommy by shooting him in the leg and then in the eye, she killed Jessie, who was traveling with Ellie and Dina (then again, all Jessie was used in this game was just to be a sperm donor for Dina to push the plot forward, but even though he was bland, he was one of the better characters of this game), and then bit off Ellie's fingers and now she can't play the guitar anymore, and to top it all off, she has sex with Owen, at the same time he's cheating on Mel, while getting off to torturing Joel more, in what can only be described as the most disgusting uncensored hate fuck scene I've ever witnessed in a video game.
Joel died for this by the way
Abby is an absolutely despicable, irredeemable piece of shit. Even Mel, the pregnant lady, said it herself. And yet we are supposed to side with her? And we are supposed to believe that Ellie is totally okay with letting her go? Are you guys out of your fucking minds?? Seriously, I-I...
Wow, I can't even put into words how shocking this is. This is just.. Wow. I thought the Star Wars sequel trilogy was bad. The Last of Us 2 might actually gave me more respect towards that.
Abby is nothing but a projection for Drukkman's distaste for Joel.
Hell, look at the box art for the game's Special Edition. Joel isn't on the fuckin' cover. But do you know who is?
Yep. Abby.
So what was the moral of the story?
REVENGE IS BAD OOOOH
SENSELESS KILLING IS BAAAAD
APPRECIATE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS EVEN THOUGH WE TOOK ALL CONTROL AWAY FROM YOU HOW DO YOU FEEL?!
Ellie carves a murderous, bloody path across the land, like in that game Hatred, where the main protagonist just senselessly slaughters innocent people on sight because life is shit and nilhisitic according to him. But the ONE person that Ellie doesn't kill is the one who started this whole ordeal in the first place, which just made the whole journey a giant fucking waste of time.
Slaughtering hundreds of random people across the game as Ellie is made as if what you are doing is bad and wrong, but the moment that Ellie is seconds away from drowning Abby, after everything that she has done, is the moment where Ellie has an epiphany where REVENGE IS BAD.
It dives into the topic of the cycle of violence, but it fucking shows us and lets us cause that violence. Oh yeah, violence ends the cycle of violence, isn't that right guys?
The game forces you repeatedly into situations where you MUST kill the enemies to advance the plot, including dogs. This game promotes dog killing and killing pregnant women (Ellie kills Mel). However you want to kill the dogs, you can do it. You can stab them in the neck, set them on fire, and even blow their legs off. I'm not kidding. It is absolutely vile.
At least the dogs in Wolfenstein were Nazi trained to eat human flesh, and the dogs in the old Modern Warfare games were trained by the opposing military threat and you have to choice but to defend yourself.
But these dogs aren't Nazi trained or military trained.
These are just regular guard dogs being protective of their owners. This is fucking demented, and perhaps I am saying this because I own pets myself.
But this is all meant to make Ellie look like an even bigger maniacal shithead just to make Abby look better. There is literally a scene where Ellie kills Abby's guard dog in an act of self defense, but then after that it goes into a flashback where Abby is seen playing with the dogs.
And they do this not once, but two times.
See, see? Ellie kills dogs but Abby saves them and plays with them. Her father saved a zebra and therefore you should like him.
Do you like Abby yet?
Do you?
DO YOU?!
And going back to the whole Mel scene, Ellie stabs her in the throat, and that was the moment that the coat opens up and Ellie sees the baby that she just killed.
"Oh no!! Ellie just killed a pregnant woman? What are the ramifications of that?!"
Uh, none??
None.
It's never mentioned again.
Wait, what's that? It's never mentioned again. Just like with the deaths of Manny, Nora, Yara, Owen, Jessie, none of their deaths are mentioned after they die. Soooo.. what was the point?
This is just childish levels of manipulation and stupidity.
You know this whole Abby shit is bad when they hid Abby in all the trailers pre-release but then also releases an Abby Trailer 6 months after the game comes out, which just shows the level of sheer incompetence that is going on at Naughty Dog right now.
Christ, I didn't even get into the other characters. You have other characters in Abby's group. You have Manny who at the start is vicious, he spits on our father figure's dead body and just goes around shouting PENEDJO every five fucking minutes but then later on he is all like "Ayyyyy I am Manny, I get all the pussy, I fuck her, and a her, and a her, and I got a sex dungeon in the city where I do my fucking!"
Oh? Manny is meant to be likeable?
And then Owen does remain relatively consistent throughout, that is until he gets Mel pregnant but then cheats on her with Abby...
Oh good God...
And Mel is the bestest ever surgeon and the bestest ever archer, and then Yara comes along, and Lev comes along, and Lev is a transexual who wants his mother to accept him in a world where people are getting eaten by fucking PLANT MONSTERS, and being raped, murdered, and looted by bandits, random strangers, and faction groups.
This is a world where you're trying to get a roof over your head, where you're trying to find a meal, where you're trying to get clothes, where you're trying to gear yourself up to survive against hordes of infected, but no, we gotta worry about gender and being accepted. In the zombie apocalypse. Sweet fucking Jesus.
Yara's arm becomes septic and it needs to be operated on so then Abby goes off to find the tools needed and she has to look after Lev, Joel and Ellie style, which in game takes around 2 and a half hours. But then that was all a waste of time because she ends up dying trying to protect Lev against a WLF attack, cause well, the WLF are at war with the Scars.
And before that happens, Lev goes back to the village of Haven where his mother is, because he wants his mom to accept him as a boy instead of a girl, but his mother hates the idea of that, so she tries to kill fuckin' him, so then Lev ends up killing his own mother.
Just... What the fuck, dude.
And all the while this is happening, there is a goddamn faction war going on in the background where the WLF and the Scars are slaughtering each other.
The WLF is the organization that Abby works for. Because Lev is a Scar, Abby vows by her life to protect him, and because of this, the WLF labels Abby as a traitor, so they try to kill her. So you and Lev are literally going around killing hundreds of your own people.
Then you reach the village of the Scars, then you're shooting at people on a horse and everything and everyone is burning around you, and then you're fighting this HUGE guy with a sledgehammer and it's just like....
Jesus Christ my braaaaainnn!
You guys are juggling so many balls at once that you forgot what you were supposed to be doing. This game is so fucking bloated. It needed to be trimmed down by at least 8-10 hours. Because most of the time it is going nowhere trying to build all of these characters to try to make them likeable and it's just so messy.
You're just going here to here, here to here, here to here, and you don't feel as if there is a reason for doing any of it.
And the infected have become completely trivialized in this game. The infected are everything that drives the plot of the first game, but here, they barely mean anything.
And Ellie's immunity to the infection doesn't mean anything anymore either. There is a moment in the game where Ellie and her girlfriend Dina are running from a horde of Infected and Ellie's gas mask breaks, because she is trying to hide her immunity. Dina is horrified by the fact that Ellie is breathing in spores. When they get to the theater, Ellie reveals to Dina that she was bitten many years ago but she never turned, because she is immune.
It's supposed to be a moment of revelation, and what does Dina do? She decides to COUNTERACT Ellie by saying "Oh! I think I'm pregnant!!"
And it's such a comical CW moment. Nothing ever gets to sit and rest. It feels like Ellie and Dina are less like lovers and more like two middle aged men trying to one up each other.
Dina doesn't even get that much development throughout. Her motivations are never clear as to why she wants to go with Ellie. All the game tells you is that the two of them started dating the day that Joel dies and all of a sudden we are expected to be attached to the two of them, without any sort of prior development.
And while Joel was having his head smashed in by Abby, Ellie and Dina neglect their patrol by smoking weed, talking about a kiss the two had the day before, and then proceed to have off screen sex with each other.
In the beginning of the game, Abby and her crew are absolutely vicious and unforgiving, but then later on, none of them reflect on what they did, especially Abby. She doesn't reflect on anything or regret anything that she did. In fact, they turn all of these characters into completely different people just to try to get the player to sympathize and relate to them, and it is just so basic, manipulative, and flat out childish.
It's almost like this game was made by a nihilist serial killer hiding underneath its wretched skin ready to murder everything that you loved about your childhood.
We have waited 7 years for a continuation to The Last of Us 1, and when we finally get it, they shit all over Joel and Ellie, they make you focus on entirely different characters that you just can't relate or connect to, and yet you spend more time with them than with the characters that you have been waiting all these years to play as, and by the end of the game everyone is either dead or broken.
And all of the new characters that you do actually like in this game are again, dead, gone, or broken.
Remember that scene in Last of Us 1 just before Joel and Ellie get to the Firefly Hospital, Ellie tells Joel that everything that they had been through cannot be for nothing? Well sorry to say kiddo, but everything you went through was all for nothing in the end. You lost your father figure, you lost your girlfriend and her child, you lost your friend Jessie, your Uncle in law Tommy lost his wife and disappeared as a crippled man, and you lost your fingers so you can't play guitar anymore.
This really is the most miserable end to a game in history. Then again, the whole game is miserable. Nothing gets to sit in. There is no light hearted moments to speak of in this game. The first game had some funny and light hearted moments in it to break up the sorrow moments. But in The Last of Us 2, the whole game is just compounded misery porn.
There is so much darkness, so much hatred and sorrow, that it just becomes extremely tiring after a while. I became desensitized and immune to it eventually. And it gets to a point of parody, because it's nothing but people dying and suffering. It's death, death, death, death, death, death, death, and more goddamn death.
And this constant death makes it extremely difficult to get attached to anyone, so when someone does die, I couldn't give a shit. Because almost every fucking person in this game gets killed off. Joel, Jessie, Owen, Manny, Mel, Nora, Yara, etc.
The game fantasizes and promotes really god awful shit like dog killing and sending out pregnant women to the frontlines of combat with a fucking UNBORN CHILD. What?!
So it wants to be against the cycle of violence and how revenge is bad, but it glorifies the very thing that it's fighting against, it's very hypocritical.
"But, but, but, but, Kat, that's the whole point of the game. Look at the reaction it's getting from you. That's why Neil Drukkman did it. He did it to SuBveRt OuR ExPectAtIons."
tongue spitting noises
By subverting our expectations you mean by giving us something that none of us have asked for. By appealing to everyone but your loyal customers, the people who are fucking woke activists, people who don't actually buy, play, and support your products in the first place. Neil Drukkman set out to make a game that HE wanted to make that HE wanted it to be made just to pander. The moment you decided to go against your fans and kiss Anita Sarkeesian's feet was the moment you fucked up, Neil. Because now most people have completely lost interest in not just this game, but also the future of your company.
This game is the equivalent of someone having daddy issues seeking therapeutic relief by channeling all of his hatred into a video game narrative and then shitting all over people who are either white, male, straight, or a combination of all three.
You have divided your customer base like what Disney and Lucasfilm is doing with Star Wars. And look at how that is turning out for the franchise.
All I can say is lmfao and good luck in the future, because you're gonna really need it.
This game is the textbook example of how NOT to make a sequel to a beloved game. You guys really should take a look at the book called "Customer Service for Dummies." and then come back to us when you guys have an idea on how to make good video games again.
[GAMEPLAY]
There isn't much to talk about here. Outdated would be the best word to describe it. Aside from a few rope puzzles and safe code cracking sequences, this game barely does anything to evolve the gameplay from the first game. The shooting is still as clunky as the first game, and there is now a jump button, and a dodge button unlike in the first game, oh yeeaah.
It also rehashes the same melee mechanics from the first game. You just mash square mindlessly except this time you push L1 to dodge which somehow makes combat flow even slower, because there are times where you HAVE to push dodge or else your enemy will just keep endlessly attacking you.
According from what I have read online, the jump button was invented in 1978. So excuse me for not shitting my bed with excitement with this new addition to the franchise, a game mechanic that is literally as old as a fucking Back to the Future Delorian car.
Also you barely ever use the jump button so that's nice as well.
The game also has the exact same crafting mechanics from the first game, almost every item requires the same ingredients to make just like in the first game, except now you can craft things like explosive arrows and oil can suppressors.
You can also go prone and hide in tall grass.
Um, can I just address something?
Metal Gear Solid 2 from 2001 did all of this before. Suppressors, proning, CQC combat, it even had dive rolling, all of this was done before, so what exactly did The Last of Us 2 bring to the table in terms of innovating the gameplay again?
It feels like this game is stuck in the last generation, because it just rehashes the gameplay mechanics from the first game. It's The Last of Us 1, but worse. A lot worse. That's the best I can describe it.
There are many other games that do stealth better than this, there are hundreds of games that do shooting better than this, and there are thousands of games that have a better story than this.
Abby is so "badass and cool" that she gets all of the best weapons and upgrades in the game.
Because unlike Ellie, Abby gets a flamethrower, a hunting pistol that is capable of one shotting enemies, a double barrel shotgun with incendiary rounds, a crossbow, and a semi-auto assault rifle.
I swear to God this game was designed to be Abby and Lev's game instead of Joel and Ellie's.
Funny enough, watching Abby run around aimlessly punching the ever living shit out of people with her massive WWE arms is one of the best parts about this game. There's just something so utterly stupid about it, it's hilarious. Like watching a female version of Hulk Hogan going ape shit on zombies and other people.
Watching her sprinting and pinning someone on a wall while screaming "FUCK YOU BRO" and then punching them to death is all I think about in my head.
The stealth mechanics are still exactly the same as well. You can stab people repeatedly in the neck as you please and delight in the blood gurgling sounds as your enemy fears for his/her shambling of their mortal coil.
And when you're running around being a murderous psychopath, you are running around listening to pointless exposition as you are picking up crap all over the place.
Pick up shit there, pick up shit there, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. It's literally a picking up crap simulator.
The first game had this too but at least the characters and the writing actually broke up the repetition of jogging around and looting for materials, it felt real and grounded.
Since you fight dogs now, you can actually see them in your Listen Mode. You can also see them tracking your scent. I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure that you can't be stinky enough to be able to literally SEE your own stench..using..your ears..
Uhhhh, what??
Am I fuckin' crazy or does this make no sense at all?
And holy mother of shit, the violence in this game is just horrifying. It is unnecessarily gory, and I've played every DOOM game. The first Last of Us game had violent stuff in it as well but it was kept at a moderate level. I like violent video games, but they went above and beyond to make the violence in Last of Us 2 as sadistic and uncomfortable as humanly possible. It really doesn't help that you seem to fight a lot more human enemies than infected which just makes it all more unpleasant.
And in the first game, Joel only had to commit violent deeds because he did it to protect Ellie. But Ellie in The Last of Us 2 just goes on a murderous rampage, and some of the shit that she does in this game is so, so much worse than the shit that Joel did.
Enemies scream and shout out each other's names when killed in a pathetic attempt to generate empathy, which is yet another stupid gimmick just to make the player feel bad.
This is a game where you are forced to be a bloodthirsty murderous cunt, takes away any sort of player agency, all with Ellie saying stupid insults and comments, and all the while, the game is trying to have some sort of bulked narrative that tries to teach you about the consequences of your actions.
This is a game where it is essentially a murder simulator, but then stupidly thought that the player would feel bad about the choices that they DID NOT make. It's embarrassing.
I will say one thing and say that they did do a great job with all the accessibility settings. They went all out to make The Last of Us 2 the most accessible game ever. There are like 60 different options to choose from . You can basically play the game however you want. The game has gotten much deserved praise from disabled people.
But, does that mean anything in the end? Because even though the game is the most accessible game out there right now, and even if the gameplay was more polished and had more mechanics to truly evolve it, and even if the game is the most beautiful looking game I've ever seen, why the hell would you want to play it anyway? The game is miserable from beginning to end. No matter how good the gameplay is, the story is still shit, and the game hates you for playing it.
This is basically the equivalent of giving your money to a friend to go bring back some breakfast for the two of you from iHop, but then when he comes home he spits in your food, because you two have certain.. disagreements with each other.
We don't play The Last of Us because we can punch people, craft molotov cocktails to throw at dogs, stab people in the throat, move objects around to solve trivial puzzles, and blow people's legs off with a shotgun. We play The Last of Us for the story. And if the story is bad, the game is bad. That's just by the by.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
I may have slagged the shit out of this game, but there are good things about it as I have mentioned before. Beautiful graphics and animations, the weapon upgrading is both eye and ear candy, the guns feel good to use despite the clunky aiming, and the soundtrack, while isn't as good as the first games', it's still really damn good. And the praise it got for the insane amount of accessibility options from disabled gamers is heartfelt.
But all of the good of this game is completely overshadowed by everything that is wrong with it. It's a very pretty game, but that's all I can say about it. Playing through it is just fuckin' insufferable.
I've never played a game that is so aggressively against the player in everything it stands for. It is quite literally an anti-video game.
As if it wasn't enough that this game is as truly horrific as it was, it's even worse when you consider just how awfully the developers were treated at Naughty Dog just to churn this shit out. This is just another reason on top of everything else that is simply why I just can't support this game. Neil Drukkman crunched the living shit out his development team to the point that employees had to be hospitalized, I wish I was joking.
Throughout the course of development between Uncharted 4 and The Last of Us 2, there has been around a 70% employee turnover, for multiple reasons. They were given unpaid overtime, the work conditions were toxic as hell, and they hated the direction Neil Drukkman took the story in. This is the largest amount of employee turnover I have ever seen for a game studio.
These guys had to start hiring people in the film and television industry for assistance because they simply were losing too many people who worked on previous games. It is a total fucking disaster.
Not to mention Neil Drukkman attacked the fans on social media, not only calling us bigots, homophobic, sexist, etc. for hating the direction he took the story in, but also actively tried to take down YouTube channels and ruin their livelihoods who dared to talk about the god awful decisions he made with the characters and the direction of the story in contrast to the first game, and how it just rectons everything for the sake of promoting his ABBY SMASH character.
If you dared to question Neil, you would get labeled as a phobic or something, when it has nothing to do with that. I don't care what your gender or sexual orientation is. I am a Pansexual femboy, and my last ex girlfriend was trans.
I'm just mad that you took everything I loved about the Last of Us 1 and had none of it carry over into Part 2. I have seen Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction that is written way better than this. I've seen better writing choices in modern Pokemon movies.
Neil Drukkman sacrifices the artistic integrity of the first game and what everyone loved about it for the sake of pushing stereotypes of intersectional groups, yet he is so surprised when none of us liked that. It's fucking cheap, lazy, and disrespectful to the people who worked really hard on that game.
I know that Haley Gross is the Co-Director, but it's very clear who had all of the power in this shitty theater play.
All of this destruction for the sake of pandering to Anita Sarkeesian and people like her, like the LGBT community and the Social Justice Warrior community. But even the LGBT and some SJWs themselves fucking hate the game. So they even failed to appeal to the very people that they were trying to pander to. That's just humiliating.
All over Twitter are hundreds of pictures of unsold copies of the game from all over the world, just sitting and rotting on store shelves. There's fucking thousands of them!!
I've seen streamers taking the discs out and cutting the damn things up live on stream. I've seen how Neil Drukkman provoked the people who hated The Last of Us 2 by telling us that he was having his fanboy army spam voting for the game to win Game of the Year, and what happened? People like myself responded and got Ghost of Tsushima to win.
Drukkman is such a spiteful, hateful little man is he not? The fact that he is so smug all the time really speaks volumes of his character.
A lot of these Last of Us 2 copies were returned, because people don't want them. It got to the point where stores that sold games were rejecting any more returns because there were just too many copies, they couldn't handle any more.
You wanna know what this reminds of? E.T. the Extra Terrestrial on the Atari 2600. Yeah, it's that fucking bad. Maybe it won't be long until someone tries to bury all of the copies in a landfill, if they can't be given away for free. Even then, you would have to pay me to play this shit again.
I know that the game did make record sales in its opening week, and I think it was the #6 best selling game of 2020 period, but here is something you have to consider. The fact that the game dropped in sales at least 80% globally in week two, and considering the massive amount of returns of the game has, where do you think it is right now, if these sites actually updated the numbers after all the returns? In 6 months time, or even a year, where is it gonna be? I'm pretty sure around half of the copies that were sold were given back to stores, that's just speculation after seeing photos of resales on Twitter for 2+ hours.
The game will only sell a small fraction of what The Last of Us 1 did, so when you think about that, that's terrible for a sequel to a beloved game, especially when you compare it to other high quality Sony exclusive games like, I don't know..
God of War?
Horizon Zero Dawn?
Days Gone?
Marvel's Spider-Man?
Who knows, Sony and Naughty Dog might have lost money on this game. The best comparison I could make are the Justice League and Birds of Prey movies.
You guys at Naughty Dog preach about women while at the same time, you are the type who cancel other people who have their own opinions and thoughts. COUGH GINA CARANO
But this is where we are at in 21st century entertainment. Where companies are selfish people by nature. If a game isn't stuffed to the brim with greedy anti-consumer microtransactions, it's stuffed to the brim with anti-consumer ultra progressive and hateful woke identity politics and vicious hypocritical rhetoric.
Because that's what they want to give us apparently.
It's almost as if there is no such thing as escapism in our video games anymore. Everything now has to be political and preachy or else we are bigots who need to be "educated"... Wha??
I have nothing against women and feminism, but if you are one of those radical extremists that tells me that I should be dead or my livelihood should burn to the ground because I am an independent person with my own thoughts and opinions and they don't fall under your agenda, then I will just say that you are no better than the spread of Communism propaganda during the late 20th century.
[FINAL MESSAGE TO NEIL DRUKKMAN]
This is a game that wants to make you miserable and at a price. Neil Drukkman went on record by saying that The Last of Us 2 is about hatred. Well congratulations, Neil, because almost everyone hates this game, and almost everyone hates you.
I don't hate you solely because of the fact that you are a leftist, Neil. I hate you because you botched this highly anticipated game with your dreadful writing, and then you tried to blame it on the supposed sexism and homophobia of the "alt-Right", which is just so outrageous.
You shoved politics down our throats, so now people like myself are forced to talk about it even though I frankly hate doing so.
And it's terrible, because politics are never an easy thing to talk about without getting someone triggered, hence why I get so pissed when I see this shit in my games.
I really hate talking about politics, but this game forces it upon me, so it's literally designed to be a trap.
I'm just a guy who bitches about games from the comfort of my basement. But if Naughty Dog wants to talk about the gator underneath the bed, I gotta fuckin' talk about the gator underneath the bed. And I knew before I even wrote this review that I was going to get some shit for it. But that is the risk that I have to take in order to get my opinions out there.
Neil even went as far as to pull off a Kurt Cobain by saying "If you don't like it then don't buy it."
Yeah, because that worked so well when EA did it when people were complaining about Battlefield 5.
This game really has brought out the worst in people. It's a game that is a culmination of all of 2020's hatred and malice. Is this what video games are trying to be now? Less like fun games and more like 50 shades of gray progressive vessels to preach to the audience?
You lied to people using dishonest promotional material just to sell more copies at launch.
You tried to cowardly screw over the YouTube community with false DMCA takedown claims and nearly ruined years of work into their channels because they had the audacity to call you out on your shitty writing choices, even innocent people who just reported on the fact that the game's spoilers were leaked months before release. Livestreams were shut down mid-session just for simply discussing this whole shitshow going down.
Hell, even memes on Twitter were taken down. MEMES!
What the fuck was the point of that? The only thing that did was expose you for abusing copyright.
(Can I just mention that all of this is illegal because it violates Fair Use policy?)
You completely changed the personalities of beloved characters from the first game for the sake of creating artificial conflict.
You killed off Joel in the most traumatizing and disrespectful way you could have done it.
You took everything about Ellie that we loved in the first game and utterly butchered her while also taking away everything that she fought for.
You forced us to play as a character we didn't want to for 10+ hours straight who murdered Joel in a lazy half-assed attempt to get us to sympathize with her.
You made us kill and brutalize dogs in the most inhumane ways possible after you said we wouldn't have to.
You lied to everyone by saying that Ellie was the only playable character in the game.
You made the zombies in this zombie apocalypse game irrelevant.
You made us watch an utterly gross explicit uncensored Abby sex scene despite of Sony's hypocritical stance on censorship policies.
You shoved representation and bulking women down our throats to get extra doggie treats from Anita Sarkeesian.
And I know I have mentioned Anita a lot but that's only cause she was involved in the development of this game. It turns out that Anita served as a lot of inspiration for Neil's abortion of a story.
You gave Abby, the clear villain, the only good ending out of everyone else in this game.
7 years of development and this was the best that you could come up with? Seriously, you are a disgrace to video game development and the gaming community at large. Your presence is a plague in an industry that millions upon millions of people have expressed so much passion for. You went as far as to put your employees' health in jeopardy as long as it meant that you could shove the game out the door as quick as possible. You have no respect for the art form that you are supposed to represent.
Joel and Ellie, and your fans of the first Last of Us game, deserved so much better than what you have done to them. All I can say is fuck you, dude, you manipulative piece of shit.
And yet games journalism and media is just eating it the fuck up while also siding with the corporation. It's a very fucked up situation.
Well, guess I'll just go back to Days Gone and Ghost of Tsushima, at least those guys actually care about their fans.
And I doubt that the TV show and the Multiplayer to The Last of Us 2 will fully ever come to fruition and reach their full potential, considering how badly received the single player is being received. It will literally be a Game of Thrones situation where everyone will have lost interest and will just move onto other things instead.
I mean you know it's bad when only around a week and a half after the game came out, I went on Twitter and saw pictures of the game being sold for only $40 by major retailers such as WalMart, Target, Best Buy, etc.
There are very few other AAA games that has been put into a position like this. And the developers at Naughty Dog have no one to blame but themselves.
3/10
Edit: And the comments to this are already fucking priceless.
"DUDE so are you saying FFVIIR, Nioh 2, and Days Gone were also desperate? That they had to go on $20 sales because they were losing
Money? Or do you think it was just because EVERY PS4 GAME WENT ON SALE FOR BLACK FRIDAY LOL"
Yeah no fucking shit, Sherlock. But all of those games that I mentioned in my response are games that have come out long before The Last of Us 2 did. The Last of Us 2 is less than a year old and even right now, I could dead ass go to my local Gamestop a couple miles from my home, and grab a mint condition copy of the game for $18-25, when other games like FFVIIR, Sekiro, Kingdom Hearts 3 with the ReMind DLC, Metro Exodus, and Remnant from the Ashes are still going for $30-45. And these games have not went on sale Digitally as many times as The Last of Us 2 did.
It won't be long until I probably start seeing the game inside of bargain bins at my local Family Dollar.
You wanna know why these other games go on sale? Lemme tell you sweetheart. It's not because these developers are desperate to sell more copies, they're just making it easier for people to afford them, especially considering how tough times have gotten this past year. Money has become harder to come by, more people are stuck in their houses everyday with nothing better to do. What is your excuse?
Ghost of Tsushima went on sale Digitally only a couple months after release but that's only cause physical copies were selling like hotcakes. So much so that it's pretty much impossible to find any. Stores were completely empty of them. And since the free Multiplayer update was coming which brought the hype train right back up again, people wanted the game more than ever.
That's called releasing a quality product and being committed to it to keeping your fans happy. You keep good relations with your consumers, they will keep coming back and investing in your product(s). That's how business works.
Or at least, that's how it should work.. But this AAA gaming industry never really learn anything do they?
2018
I remember being only around 8 years old and my cousin visited my house one day holding this game in his hands and he asked if he could use my PS2. And I was definitely intrigued by him playing it.
I was impressed with the 2D anime sprite art style, the characters interacting with each other, the sound effects, and the music was fucking amazing. But as soon as I put the controller in my hands I had no idea what in God's name I was doing. I wasn't used to JRPGs, especially ones like this, I just mashed buttons like if I was playing Kingdom Hearts, and I also slapped weapons onto characters that were never meant to use them.
Despite how awful I was at the game, I wanted to actually learn more about it and get invested in it, since these types of games remind me of when I used to watch my older brother play through Final Fantasy VII and X. As I started learning the game, I became obsessed with it.
At first, Disgaea 1 looks simplistic by today's standards with how much the franchise has evolved. However deep down at its core is a very complex title that stands out from most other games, and it is one of the most criminally underrated games I've ever played. This game is so complex in its gameplay systems that it serves as the standard for the future of the franchise.
[GAMEPLAY]
Normally I like to talk about the story before going into the gameplay, but Disgaea is mostly known for its batshit over the top gameplay and mechanics that never shy away from how ridiculous it is, so I'll start with that first... There's gonna be a lot to talk about here so bare with me.
This is a Strategy RPG like Final Fantasy Tactics and Fire Emblem, but there are insane factors to Disgaea that actually makes me prefer it a lot more. You can have up to 10 characters move around on the battlefield in a grid shaped fashion. Every character can move and attack once per turn, however if you move to the wrong spot accidently, you can push Circle button to move back to your previous position.
If you position multiple characters (up to 4) to attack a single enemy, they team up to execute an all-out attack that deals more damage than a regular attack. Characters can also execute Special Skills using SP.
Some are weak, others are much more powerful.
Special Skills are learned depending on what weapon the character is wielding. There's Sword, Axe, Spear, Bow, Gun, Fist, and Staff Skills. Every character have different efficiencies for each weapon type, and are ranked from S to D.
Flonne for example has an S ranking for Staves, an A ranking for Bows, a B ranking for Guns, and a D ranking for Fists and Axes.
This is important because the higher the rank, the faster the character can gain Weapon Mastery levels.
When you get to a certain Weapon Mastery level, you gain a new Skill.
And for staves, leveling up your Weapon Mastery not only increases spell damage, but also the casting range. But for Mage classes to learn new spells, they need to level up themselves.
There are also weapons exclusively for Monster classes (like Succubi and Zombies), however they don't gain any Weapon Mastery, instead Monsters learn Skills from leveling up, however they can still learn magic spells. Also, Monster classes can only use Monster weapons.
Your Skills also level up independently. As they level up, they cost more SP but they can deal more damage. And leveling up Spells increases both the range of the spell, and the amount of targets you can hit with the spell at once.
There are also Skills that are exclusive to certain characters, and they gain even more as they level up.
Mages are fucking overpowered and I will explain why.
Star Mages are the best mages, because they get Star magic. There are three types of elemental magic: Fire, Wind, and Ice. Every character have resistances and weaknesses to each type of magic.
If a character has a Fire elemental Resistance of -50%, that means they take 50% MORE damage from Fire Skills.
However, Star is non-elemental. Which means that it's not possible for characters to tank Star magic damage. And magic can't be blocked unless if the spell actually misses. This makes Star magic insanely strong.
Though you will need to get a Red, Green, and Blue Mage to a certain level before you unlock the Star Mage but it's pretty early on. I don't recommend using the Prism or Galaxy Mages because their spells aren't very good.
Also, the game has a mechanic called the Mentor/Pupil system. Basically, you can create characters in this game from a place called the Dark Assembly. Anyone in the party can create characters. The creators are the Mentors, and the characters they create are the Pupils.
You need Mana for this, which is gained from killing enemies.
Mentors are able to learn any Skills that are learned from their Pupils (except UNIQUE Skills).
Flonne doesn't start off with any magic spells aside from her unique healing ability. So let's say I wanted her to learn healing and fire magic.
Basically, you have Flonne create a Cleric class and a Red Mage class (the gender doesn't matter), then once in battle, you have Flonne stand next to the Cleric and the Fire Mage, then you have her cast the spells they have learned until they reach Level 1 and viola, Flonne can now permanently cast Fire and Healing magic.
This means that you can make Flonne into a fucking BEAST of a Mage, since she specializes in magic.
You want Laharl and Etna to learn magic as well? Can do! Anyone can learn magic.
(But you still need to level up the Mage itself if you want to unlock those stronger spells.)
This mechanic essentially allows you to build your party however you want to. The possibilities are staggering. Though don't get too carried away with it and I will explain why.
First off all, once the Mentor creates the Pupil, they are stuck with it. ONLY Mentors can learn Skills off of the Pupils. No one else. So if you want Flonne to learn magic but then you also want Laharl to learn magic, you gotta make more Mages with Laharl.
Every character also have Equipment Attributes. What are those? Basically, it's a percentage next to the characters stats.
You've got ATK (Attack Power)
DEF (Defense)
HIT (Hit Accuracy)
INT (Spell Power)
SPD (Evasion and Stealing Efficiency)
RES (Spell Resistance and Spell Restoration Power)
Each of these stats have percentages next to them. Each percentage represents how much a character's stats increase when equipping items.
For example, here is the Ronin class's Aptitudes:
HP - 100%
SP - 70%
ATK - 110%
DEF - 100%
INT - 70%
SPD - 100%
HIT - 100%
RES - 70%
If a percentage is at 100%, that means the character gains normal increases when equipping items that boosts that specific stat.
However, since the SP percentage is at 70%, that means the Ronin gets a 30% decrease in stat boosting when equipping any items that boosts her SP.
But since the ATK Aptitude is at 110%, that means the Ronin will get an extra 10% in her ATK when equipping anything that boosts it.
This means that characters have definite strengths and weaknesses in certain areas. These Aptitudes can make the difference between a useful character and a shit one.
There are Monster specific classes, and all of their Aptitudes are 100% by default, though they can only use Monster type weapons.
UNIQUE characters like Laharl, Etna, Flonne, Gordon, Jennifer, and Thursday cannot increase their Aptitudes. All of them by default have Aptitudes of 100% in every stat.
Other characters that you create in the Dark Assembly are different.
As you level up a class, you unlock Tiers for that class. The higher the Tier, the more the Aptitudes can go up, and the Weapon Mastery ranks can go up as well. However, if you want to upgrade to a higher Tier, you have to Transmigrate the character, which means they start back at level 1 with 0 Mana, but they get to keep all the Skills they learned.
You can also Transmigrate any class into another one. Wanna turn your Star Mage into a Nekomata and have all her spells carry over? You can do that.
There is a method for getting the character to level back up quickly but I'll get into that later.
The classes in this game are fucking insane, this is one of the main reasons why I prefer this over FF Tactics. There are tons to choose from, and you unlock more and more when meeting certain requirements.
There's classes like Magic Knights, Ronins, Martial Artists, Martial Artist Nekomatas (my personal favorite), Succubi, Zombies, Dragons + Dragon Zombies, Reapers, Gargoyles, Ghosts, Golems, Thieves, Clerics, Archers, Ninjas, Angels, Warriors, Pumpkin Heads, the list just goes on.
This game allows you to build your own waifu army. You can name them whatever you want to as well.
The customization in this game is so fucking good. It holds up so damn well even though Disgaea 5 has the most polished gameplay in the whole series, but there is a reason why I think Disgaea 1 is the best game in the series and I'll talk about that later.
The Dark Assembly is basically a courthouse in Hell (since these games take place in Hell), and you get to vote on bills. Bills such as:
- Getting access to more expensive, powerful items in shops
- Making the enemies stronger
- Unlocking Belts, Shoes, and Glasses in shops (these are very damn good for boosting stats, stock up on these)
- Increasing your counterattacks and movement range
- Unlocking the Cave of Ordeals (best place to level up in the game)
- Gaining triple EXP for the first enemy killed
To unlock more Bills you have to pass Promotion Exams in which you have the character fight against some enemies. And they grow in strength with each exam.
Once you select a Bill, the Senate will vote on it. If it gets denied, you can either retry the vote, or you can convince the Senate to reconsider their denial with brute force. I'm not fuckin' joking.
Because that's how politics work in this world lmao. Though you probably won't be doing this until much later in the game, because some of these senators are very, very high leveled. If they voted Nay, prepare to get the living shit kicked out of you, you might as well just off yourself.
Every time you visit a shop, the items they sell change every time. And the items can have different stats and Innocents (I'll get into that). So if you don't see any items you particularly want, just leave the shop and re-enter it. Buying stuff will increase your Customer Rank, which will unlock the ability to pass Bills for stronger items.
And now to talk about the Item World and the Innocents, and these are just even more layers to the insane customization this game has.
The Item World is a place consisting of randomly generated stages. Every stage is random in layout, enemies, and their placements. It's completely RNG, which is very unique. The Item World is used to level up your equipment and gain Innocents. Yes, you can also level up equipment.
Every stage has an exit portal that you must reach to progress to the next floor. Every 10 floors has a boss stage, but you can skip the boss and head straight for the exit. The more floors you progress through, the more the item levels up and gets stronger, however, the enemies increase in level as you keep going.
Also, you cannot leave the Item World unless you either reach the exit of a boss stage, or you use an item called a Mr. Gency Exit. And these can only be obtained if you beat the boss stage.
If you do leave early, the item will still level up depending on how many floors you progressed. And if you decide to go back in at a later time, you will start off at the floor you last left off.
The stronger the item is, the stronger the enemies, but the enemies also get even stronger as you go deeper, so be careful.
There are also some times where an enemy will be standing on an exit portal and won't move. You have to kill them. But if they're too strong for you, there's a little trick I know, and that's taking a Martial Artist and using their very first skill Triple Strike to push the enemy off the portal so you can go through it.
Every item also has a rarity, and there are three types: Bronze (Common), Sliver (Rare), and Gold (Legendary). The higher the rarity, the farther you can go in the Item World with it.
If I remember correctly, the Common items only let you go to Floor 30.
Rare items let you go to Floor 50.
And Legendary lets you go to Floor 100.
When you reach the 100th Floor you encounter the Item God. This is a boss that is insanely powerful but has some amazing items to steal. Some of the best equipment in the game can be found on these Item Gods, but what the items the God has is dependant on the item you have been leveling up (I could be wrong about this, it's been a while).
So about the Innocents, basically they are extra perks that boosts stats or add bonuses to the character. For example, a Statistician is an Innocent that increases EXP gain. The Armsmaster Innocent increases Weapon Mastery gain.
This is very important, because leveling up Innocents adds a huge multiplier to the character's growth.
A single level 300 Statistician (the max level) increases EXP gain by 300%. So if you wanna get to the max level which is 9999 (no joke), then you need to grind for these Statistician Innocents.
And if you wanna level up your Weapon Mastery levels faster, you need to grind for Armsmaster Innocents, and the highest level those can go up to is 1900.
Statisticians and Armsmasters are two of the most important Innocents.
So how do you get these Innocents and level them up?
Well, many items have Innocents on them. Just look for any item that has the Statistician. The stronger the item, the higher the base level of the Innocent. Then you take that item into the Item World. Then you try to find an enemy where the game pans the camera over the enemy and you see a box that pops up that says "CHECK."
What I usually do is enter on Floor 1, and if the enemy doesn't spawn, I go back to the castle and try again. But when you do see the enemy, you kill it, and then you gain the Innocent. You will know it's been subdued because the text is blue instead of black. When the text is blue that means you can transfer the Innocent onto other items.
Also, once an Innocent has been subdued, you can't encounter it in the Item World again. You need to get a different item with an unsubdued Innocent on it.
So to level up the Statistician, you need to kill the same Innocent in the Item World, transfer it onto the same item, then you combine the two Innocents together, and that's it. The Innocent grows in level.
This is mandatory if you want to get into those insanely high levels so you can fight the post-game bosses.
Christ Almighty, this is the first game in the series, and yet there is so many ways to customize your characters that just writing about it is making my head spin. There's just so fuckin' much to talk about here.
But that's why I love this game so much along with the excellent story.
I love the micro management, I love the grind, I love seeing numbers go up, I love seeing my characters get overpowered. This is the kind of shit I geek the fuck over, especially since the numbers are fucking insane.
This has some of the most addicting gameplay I've ever seen in a game, and yet it still pales in comparison to Disgaea 5. These games are best known for their grindy natures, but you'd want to do it if you want to finish all the post-game content.
The max level is 9999, and you can deal damage in the millions which is just insane.
[STORY]
So after that visual novel of a review on the gameplay I can now express my affection towards the story. The narrative to this game has made me feel many things. It has made me laugh, and it has made me cry.
The humor in this game is fuckin' hilarious at times, there are a lot of instances where the jokes made me burst out laughing. Whether it's from the interaction of the characters, to the dialogue, these characters always put a smile on my face.
And that's because Laharl and Flonne are two completely different types of people. Laharl is loudmouthed, short-tempered, cynical, selfish, and hates to talk about his personal problems, but he is still just a kid who shows signs of weakness. Regardless, he is a really funny character. A lot of his lines do crack me up cause of how snarky he is at times.
And Flonne, is one of the greatest fuckin' characters in the history of this series, dead ass, she's my favorite character in this game. Sweet, caring, adorable, selfless, nerdy, but is just as vulnerable as Laharl and Etna are. I absolutely adore Flonne, she is one of my most favorite video game characters. Even when the situation doesn't call for it or when no one asks, she shows affection and kindness towards other people. She is the most wholesome being.
At times she does get frustrated at Laharl because of how rude and mean-spirited he can be, but watching these two develop throughout the game is a lovely thing.
Etna is great as well. Just like Laharl, she is short-tempered, mischievous, snarky, cynical, and really funny because of how much of a smart ass she is.
I love Gordon, Jennifer, and Thursday as well.
They're parodied as what Americans think of as the average superhero crew. Gordon in particular has a heart of gold, but he is so dumb at times that it just makes the game even funnier, another one of my favorite characters.
Jennifer is very caring of her allies and Thursday is very 3-Dimensional for being a combat robot. Again, they have some really funny moments as well.
Considering how differently these characters are from each other, their interactions and how they grow to trust each other is what drives the narrative.
This is essentially a comedy mixed with a JRPG. But it does have its serious moments as well. When the situation calls for it, the music will kick in just to set off the feels. Some scenes get pretty damn heavy. The ending of the game in particular actually made me cry a lot because of how touching it is. I really feel the change in the characters in contrast to how you first meet them.
This game takes place in the Netherworld (Hell essentially). Laharl and Etna are Demons, and Flonne is an Angel, which is why they are so different from each other in terms of personality. Gordon and Jennifer are humans. Demons by nature are rude, cynical, and like to do selfish things, but there is still a sense of morality.
The universe of Disgaea consists of the three worlds: The Netherworld, Celestia (Heaven), and Earth. There are times that these three worlds cross paths with each other which shows the player how each world is indicative of the personalities of the the people that live there, or so that is what the characters like to believe and tell each other.
The game doesn't really follow one single, very long streamlined story. Each chapter is different from each other in terms of plot. A good chunk of the chapters are about the daily life of Laharl and his friends, as Laharl tries to make a name for himself as the heir of Overlord, like a slice of life. But it all connects to an overarching plot.
You do know the goals of the characters, but each chapter focuses on building towards those goals. It picks up as you keep playing. The development of the characters is done really well.
The storytelling in this game is so charming and memorable that it's the reason why I say it's still my favorite Disgaea game in the series.
Disgaea D2 and 5 has the best gameplay and animations ever in this franchise, but from a story perspective, the first game takes the cake.
[BEST VERSION]
The best version you should play of this game is either the Complete Edition that has come out for PS4 and Nintendo Switch or the PC release. Because they updated the menus and the 2D sprites to look like the ones from the newer games. They look pretty gorgeous.
The only thing that sucks is that the attack animations, stage graphics, and the cutscenes were not updated. They're only just at a higher resolution. And this was really damn disappointing to me, cause I was actually expecting a full on remake.
Regardless, this the best version to play. Because unlike the original PS2 version (Hour of Darkness), the HD releases have more cameo bosses and playable characters from later games, it has the Etna Mode, which is an extra story mode focusing on Etna (unlocked after beating the main story), and it has quality of life improvements like being able to skip the attack animations, being able to skip cutscenes, and if you want to quit the stage or if you get a Game Over, you will get sent back to the castle instead of being booted back to the main menu and having to reload your save file. This also makes grinding go by so much quicker.
So if you want to pick up this game, go for the version called either Disgaea 1 Complete or Disgaea PC.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
This game is my childhood, and it takes me back every time I play it. I get really emotional talking about this game because it reminds me of when my brother was still around playing JRPGs and my younger self would sit there being fascinated by them...
This game is a masterpiece. It's one of the best games ever made, and yet it's so underrated, and maybe that's cause of the popularity of Fire Emblem and FF Tactics. I implore you, if you like Strategy RPGs, play this game. It's one of the most unique experiences out there. It's the game that got me hooked on this series and the genre in general.
But I also recommend you play Disgaea 5 as well. I'd say that's the second best in the series. The story in that game is great as well, it has the best gameplay in the whole franchise, and it has the most utterly batshit, mind-blowing attack animations I've ever seen in a game, it just shits on other games in that regard, it is ridiculous. If you thought Disgaea 1 was advanced in its gameplay, fuckin' oof, because Disgaea 5 is like a College Chemistry Exam in comparison.
10/10
I was impressed with the 2D anime sprite art style, the characters interacting with each other, the sound effects, and the music was fucking amazing. But as soon as I put the controller in my hands I had no idea what in God's name I was doing. I wasn't used to JRPGs, especially ones like this, I just mashed buttons like if I was playing Kingdom Hearts, and I also slapped weapons onto characters that were never meant to use them.
Despite how awful I was at the game, I wanted to actually learn more about it and get invested in it, since these types of games remind me of when I used to watch my older brother play through Final Fantasy VII and X. As I started learning the game, I became obsessed with it.
At first, Disgaea 1 looks simplistic by today's standards with how much the franchise has evolved. However deep down at its core is a very complex title that stands out from most other games, and it is one of the most criminally underrated games I've ever played. This game is so complex in its gameplay systems that it serves as the standard for the future of the franchise.
[GAMEPLAY]
Normally I like to talk about the story before going into the gameplay, but Disgaea is mostly known for its batshit over the top gameplay and mechanics that never shy away from how ridiculous it is, so I'll start with that first... There's gonna be a lot to talk about here so bare with me.
This is a Strategy RPG like Final Fantasy Tactics and Fire Emblem, but there are insane factors to Disgaea that actually makes me prefer it a lot more. You can have up to 10 characters move around on the battlefield in a grid shaped fashion. Every character can move and attack once per turn, however if you move to the wrong spot accidently, you can push Circle button to move back to your previous position.
If you position multiple characters (up to 4) to attack a single enemy, they team up to execute an all-out attack that deals more damage than a regular attack. Characters can also execute Special Skills using SP.
Some are weak, others are much more powerful.
Special Skills are learned depending on what weapon the character is wielding. There's Sword, Axe, Spear, Bow, Gun, Fist, and Staff Skills. Every character have different efficiencies for each weapon type, and are ranked from S to D.
Flonne for example has an S ranking for Staves, an A ranking for Bows, a B ranking for Guns, and a D ranking for Fists and Axes.
This is important because the higher the rank, the faster the character can gain Weapon Mastery levels.
When you get to a certain Weapon Mastery level, you gain a new Skill.
And for staves, leveling up your Weapon Mastery not only increases spell damage, but also the casting range. But for Mage classes to learn new spells, they need to level up themselves.
There are also weapons exclusively for Monster classes (like Succubi and Zombies), however they don't gain any Weapon Mastery, instead Monsters learn Skills from leveling up, however they can still learn magic spells. Also, Monster classes can only use Monster weapons.
Your Skills also level up independently. As they level up, they cost more SP but they can deal more damage. And leveling up Spells increases both the range of the spell, and the amount of targets you can hit with the spell at once.
There are also Skills that are exclusive to certain characters, and they gain even more as they level up.
Mages are fucking overpowered and I will explain why.
Star Mages are the best mages, because they get Star magic. There are three types of elemental magic: Fire, Wind, and Ice. Every character have resistances and weaknesses to each type of magic.
If a character has a Fire elemental Resistance of -50%, that means they take 50% MORE damage from Fire Skills.
However, Star is non-elemental. Which means that it's not possible for characters to tank Star magic damage. And magic can't be blocked unless if the spell actually misses. This makes Star magic insanely strong.
Though you will need to get a Red, Green, and Blue Mage to a certain level before you unlock the Star Mage but it's pretty early on. I don't recommend using the Prism or Galaxy Mages because their spells aren't very good.
Also, the game has a mechanic called the Mentor/Pupil system. Basically, you can create characters in this game from a place called the Dark Assembly. Anyone in the party can create characters. The creators are the Mentors, and the characters they create are the Pupils.
You need Mana for this, which is gained from killing enemies.
Mentors are able to learn any Skills that are learned from their Pupils (except UNIQUE Skills).
Flonne doesn't start off with any magic spells aside from her unique healing ability. So let's say I wanted her to learn healing and fire magic.
Basically, you have Flonne create a Cleric class and a Red Mage class (the gender doesn't matter), then once in battle, you have Flonne stand next to the Cleric and the Fire Mage, then you have her cast the spells they have learned until they reach Level 1 and viola, Flonne can now permanently cast Fire and Healing magic.
This means that you can make Flonne into a fucking BEAST of a Mage, since she specializes in magic.
You want Laharl and Etna to learn magic as well? Can do! Anyone can learn magic.
(But you still need to level up the Mage itself if you want to unlock those stronger spells.)
This mechanic essentially allows you to build your party however you want to. The possibilities are staggering. Though don't get too carried away with it and I will explain why.
First off all, once the Mentor creates the Pupil, they are stuck with it. ONLY Mentors can learn Skills off of the Pupils. No one else. So if you want Flonne to learn magic but then you also want Laharl to learn magic, you gotta make more Mages with Laharl.
Every character also have Equipment Attributes. What are those? Basically, it's a percentage next to the characters stats.
You've got ATK (Attack Power)
DEF (Defense)
HIT (Hit Accuracy)
INT (Spell Power)
SPD (Evasion and Stealing Efficiency)
RES (Spell Resistance and Spell Restoration Power)
Each of these stats have percentages next to them. Each percentage represents how much a character's stats increase when equipping items.
For example, here is the Ronin class's Aptitudes:
HP - 100%
SP - 70%
ATK - 110%
DEF - 100%
INT - 70%
SPD - 100%
HIT - 100%
RES - 70%
If a percentage is at 100%, that means the character gains normal increases when equipping items that boosts that specific stat.
However, since the SP percentage is at 70%, that means the Ronin gets a 30% decrease in stat boosting when equipping any items that boosts her SP.
But since the ATK Aptitude is at 110%, that means the Ronin will get an extra 10% in her ATK when equipping anything that boosts it.
This means that characters have definite strengths and weaknesses in certain areas. These Aptitudes can make the difference between a useful character and a shit one.
There are Monster specific classes, and all of their Aptitudes are 100% by default, though they can only use Monster type weapons.
UNIQUE characters like Laharl, Etna, Flonne, Gordon, Jennifer, and Thursday cannot increase their Aptitudes. All of them by default have Aptitudes of 100% in every stat.
Other characters that you create in the Dark Assembly are different.
As you level up a class, you unlock Tiers for that class. The higher the Tier, the more the Aptitudes can go up, and the Weapon Mastery ranks can go up as well. However, if you want to upgrade to a higher Tier, you have to Transmigrate the character, which means they start back at level 1 with 0 Mana, but they get to keep all the Skills they learned.
You can also Transmigrate any class into another one. Wanna turn your Star Mage into a Nekomata and have all her spells carry over? You can do that.
There is a method for getting the character to level back up quickly but I'll get into that later.
The classes in this game are fucking insane, this is one of the main reasons why I prefer this over FF Tactics. There are tons to choose from, and you unlock more and more when meeting certain requirements.
There's classes like Magic Knights, Ronins, Martial Artists, Martial Artist Nekomatas (my personal favorite), Succubi, Zombies, Dragons + Dragon Zombies, Reapers, Gargoyles, Ghosts, Golems, Thieves, Clerics, Archers, Ninjas, Angels, Warriors, Pumpkin Heads, the list just goes on.
This game allows you to build your own waifu army. You can name them whatever you want to as well.
The customization in this game is so fucking good. It holds up so damn well even though Disgaea 5 has the most polished gameplay in the whole series, but there is a reason why I think Disgaea 1 is the best game in the series and I'll talk about that later.
The Dark Assembly is basically a courthouse in Hell (since these games take place in Hell), and you get to vote on bills. Bills such as:
- Getting access to more expensive, powerful items in shops
- Making the enemies stronger
- Unlocking Belts, Shoes, and Glasses in shops (these are very damn good for boosting stats, stock up on these)
- Increasing your counterattacks and movement range
- Unlocking the Cave of Ordeals (best place to level up in the game)
- Gaining triple EXP for the first enemy killed
To unlock more Bills you have to pass Promotion Exams in which you have the character fight against some enemies. And they grow in strength with each exam.
Once you select a Bill, the Senate will vote on it. If it gets denied, you can either retry the vote, or you can convince the Senate to reconsider their denial with brute force. I'm not fuckin' joking.
Because that's how politics work in this world lmao. Though you probably won't be doing this until much later in the game, because some of these senators are very, very high leveled. If they voted Nay, prepare to get the living shit kicked out of you, you might as well just off yourself.
Every time you visit a shop, the items they sell change every time. And the items can have different stats and Innocents (I'll get into that). So if you don't see any items you particularly want, just leave the shop and re-enter it. Buying stuff will increase your Customer Rank, which will unlock the ability to pass Bills for stronger items.
And now to talk about the Item World and the Innocents, and these are just even more layers to the insane customization this game has.
The Item World is a place consisting of randomly generated stages. Every stage is random in layout, enemies, and their placements. It's completely RNG, which is very unique. The Item World is used to level up your equipment and gain Innocents. Yes, you can also level up equipment.
Every stage has an exit portal that you must reach to progress to the next floor. Every 10 floors has a boss stage, but you can skip the boss and head straight for the exit. The more floors you progress through, the more the item levels up and gets stronger, however, the enemies increase in level as you keep going.
Also, you cannot leave the Item World unless you either reach the exit of a boss stage, or you use an item called a Mr. Gency Exit. And these can only be obtained if you beat the boss stage.
If you do leave early, the item will still level up depending on how many floors you progressed. And if you decide to go back in at a later time, you will start off at the floor you last left off.
The stronger the item is, the stronger the enemies, but the enemies also get even stronger as you go deeper, so be careful.
There are also some times where an enemy will be standing on an exit portal and won't move. You have to kill them. But if they're too strong for you, there's a little trick I know, and that's taking a Martial Artist and using their very first skill Triple Strike to push the enemy off the portal so you can go through it.
Every item also has a rarity, and there are three types: Bronze (Common), Sliver (Rare), and Gold (Legendary). The higher the rarity, the farther you can go in the Item World with it.
If I remember correctly, the Common items only let you go to Floor 30.
Rare items let you go to Floor 50.
And Legendary lets you go to Floor 100.
When you reach the 100th Floor you encounter the Item God. This is a boss that is insanely powerful but has some amazing items to steal. Some of the best equipment in the game can be found on these Item Gods, but what the items the God has is dependant on the item you have been leveling up (I could be wrong about this, it's been a while).
So about the Innocents, basically they are extra perks that boosts stats or add bonuses to the character. For example, a Statistician is an Innocent that increases EXP gain. The Armsmaster Innocent increases Weapon Mastery gain.
This is very important, because leveling up Innocents adds a huge multiplier to the character's growth.
A single level 300 Statistician (the max level) increases EXP gain by 300%. So if you wanna get to the max level which is 9999 (no joke), then you need to grind for these Statistician Innocents.
And if you wanna level up your Weapon Mastery levels faster, you need to grind for Armsmaster Innocents, and the highest level those can go up to is 1900.
Statisticians and Armsmasters are two of the most important Innocents.
So how do you get these Innocents and level them up?
Well, many items have Innocents on them. Just look for any item that has the Statistician. The stronger the item, the higher the base level of the Innocent. Then you take that item into the Item World. Then you try to find an enemy where the game pans the camera over the enemy and you see a box that pops up that says "CHECK."
What I usually do is enter on Floor 1, and if the enemy doesn't spawn, I go back to the castle and try again. But when you do see the enemy, you kill it, and then you gain the Innocent. You will know it's been subdued because the text is blue instead of black. When the text is blue that means you can transfer the Innocent onto other items.
Also, once an Innocent has been subdued, you can't encounter it in the Item World again. You need to get a different item with an unsubdued Innocent on it.
So to level up the Statistician, you need to kill the same Innocent in the Item World, transfer it onto the same item, then you combine the two Innocents together, and that's it. The Innocent grows in level.
This is mandatory if you want to get into those insanely high levels so you can fight the post-game bosses.
Christ Almighty, this is the first game in the series, and yet there is so many ways to customize your characters that just writing about it is making my head spin. There's just so fuckin' much to talk about here.
But that's why I love this game so much along with the excellent story.
I love the micro management, I love the grind, I love seeing numbers go up, I love seeing my characters get overpowered. This is the kind of shit I geek the fuck over, especially since the numbers are fucking insane.
This has some of the most addicting gameplay I've ever seen in a game, and yet it still pales in comparison to Disgaea 5. These games are best known for their grindy natures, but you'd want to do it if you want to finish all the post-game content.
The max level is 9999, and you can deal damage in the millions which is just insane.
[STORY]
So after that visual novel of a review on the gameplay I can now express my affection towards the story. The narrative to this game has made me feel many things. It has made me laugh, and it has made me cry.
The humor in this game is fuckin' hilarious at times, there are a lot of instances where the jokes made me burst out laughing. Whether it's from the interaction of the characters, to the dialogue, these characters always put a smile on my face.
And that's because Laharl and Flonne are two completely different types of people. Laharl is loudmouthed, short-tempered, cynical, selfish, and hates to talk about his personal problems, but he is still just a kid who shows signs of weakness. Regardless, he is a really funny character. A lot of his lines do crack me up cause of how snarky he is at times.
And Flonne, is one of the greatest fuckin' characters in the history of this series, dead ass, she's my favorite character in this game. Sweet, caring, adorable, selfless, nerdy, but is just as vulnerable as Laharl and Etna are. I absolutely adore Flonne, she is one of my most favorite video game characters. Even when the situation doesn't call for it or when no one asks, she shows affection and kindness towards other people. She is the most wholesome being.
At times she does get frustrated at Laharl because of how rude and mean-spirited he can be, but watching these two develop throughout the game is a lovely thing.
Etna is great as well. Just like Laharl, she is short-tempered, mischievous, snarky, cynical, and really funny because of how much of a smart ass she is.
I love Gordon, Jennifer, and Thursday as well.
They're parodied as what Americans think of as the average superhero crew. Gordon in particular has a heart of gold, but he is so dumb at times that it just makes the game even funnier, another one of my favorite characters.
Jennifer is very caring of her allies and Thursday is very 3-Dimensional for being a combat robot. Again, they have some really funny moments as well.
Considering how differently these characters are from each other, their interactions and how they grow to trust each other is what drives the narrative.
This is essentially a comedy mixed with a JRPG. But it does have its serious moments as well. When the situation calls for it, the music will kick in just to set off the feels. Some scenes get pretty damn heavy. The ending of the game in particular actually made me cry a lot because of how touching it is. I really feel the change in the characters in contrast to how you first meet them.
This game takes place in the Netherworld (Hell essentially). Laharl and Etna are Demons, and Flonne is an Angel, which is why they are so different from each other in terms of personality. Gordon and Jennifer are humans. Demons by nature are rude, cynical, and like to do selfish things, but there is still a sense of morality.
The universe of Disgaea consists of the three worlds: The Netherworld, Celestia (Heaven), and Earth. There are times that these three worlds cross paths with each other which shows the player how each world is indicative of the personalities of the the people that live there, or so that is what the characters like to believe and tell each other.
The game doesn't really follow one single, very long streamlined story. Each chapter is different from each other in terms of plot. A good chunk of the chapters are about the daily life of Laharl and his friends, as Laharl tries to make a name for himself as the heir of Overlord, like a slice of life. But it all connects to an overarching plot.
You do know the goals of the characters, but each chapter focuses on building towards those goals. It picks up as you keep playing. The development of the characters is done really well.
The storytelling in this game is so charming and memorable that it's the reason why I say it's still my favorite Disgaea game in the series.
Disgaea D2 and 5 has the best gameplay and animations ever in this franchise, but from a story perspective, the first game takes the cake.
[BEST VERSION]
The best version you should play of this game is either the Complete Edition that has come out for PS4 and Nintendo Switch or the PC release. Because they updated the menus and the 2D sprites to look like the ones from the newer games. They look pretty gorgeous.
The only thing that sucks is that the attack animations, stage graphics, and the cutscenes were not updated. They're only just at a higher resolution. And this was really damn disappointing to me, cause I was actually expecting a full on remake.
Regardless, this the best version to play. Because unlike the original PS2 version (Hour of Darkness), the HD releases have more cameo bosses and playable characters from later games, it has the Etna Mode, which is an extra story mode focusing on Etna (unlocked after beating the main story), and it has quality of life improvements like being able to skip the attack animations, being able to skip cutscenes, and if you want to quit the stage or if you get a Game Over, you will get sent back to the castle instead of being booted back to the main menu and having to reload your save file. This also makes grinding go by so much quicker.
So if you want to pick up this game, go for the version called either Disgaea 1 Complete or Disgaea PC.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
This game is my childhood, and it takes me back every time I play it. I get really emotional talking about this game because it reminds me of when my brother was still around playing JRPGs and my younger self would sit there being fascinated by them...
This game is a masterpiece. It's one of the best games ever made, and yet it's so underrated, and maybe that's cause of the popularity of Fire Emblem and FF Tactics. I implore you, if you like Strategy RPGs, play this game. It's one of the most unique experiences out there. It's the game that got me hooked on this series and the genre in general.
But I also recommend you play Disgaea 5 as well. I'd say that's the second best in the series. The story in that game is great as well, it has the best gameplay in the whole franchise, and it has the most utterly batshit, mind-blowing attack animations I've ever seen in a game, it just shits on other games in that regard, it is ridiculous. If you thought Disgaea 1 was advanced in its gameplay, fuckin' oof, because Disgaea 5 is like a College Chemistry Exam in comparison.
10/10