It makes complete sense that, out of all of the old Hudson Soft franchises that Konami would bring back into the modern gaming scene, Bomberman would be the one that they would choose, but the iteration of Bomberman they would bring back was a bit of a surprise. They have released a small variety of Bomberman games in the past couple of years, like Amazing Bomberman and whatever this stupid weeb shit is, but for the most part, the series has had its primary focus on the Super Bomberman set of games, starting with Super Bomberman R, and continuing on with other titles like Super Bomberman R2, which was released last year. These games could be considered completely separate entities from the other Super Bomberman games, considering how they look and feel much different from those games, but if that is the case, then why would they even bother putting the “Super” in that title in the first place? Not to mention, it is interesting seeing this kind of take on the character and its world in recent years, which has gotten me interested in this little sub-series, even if most of it has nothing to do with what is currently being made. But anyways, I figured I would start to give the sub-series a try by, of course, starting out with the first game, Super Bomberman.

I haven’t played this particular iteration of Bomberman before, nor any of the other games in this sub-series aside from SBR, but I have seen it in action several times before, primarily due to this video by Sr. Pelo, which, if you haven’t watched it, please do so, cause it is funny shit. But anyway, it did make me wanna try out the game, even though when going into it, I wasn’t expecting much from it. It was probably just gonna be another Bomberman game, just this time on the SNES, and to be fair, it is mostly just that, but there was enough new stuff there, as well as enough charm and character, to where I ended up having a pretty great time with the game as a whole, and I would say it is my favorite Bomberman game that I have played so far.

The story is somewhat complex for this franchise, but not by much, where a robot tournament is being held by the evil Carat Diamond in Diamond City, with the robots in the tournament having the same capabilities that Bomberman have, taken from the Black Bomberman after being kidnapped by them, but soon after, Black Bomberman escapes their clutches and goes to warn the White Bomberman as to what is going on, so it is up to the two of them to team up and take on Carat Diamond and his evil minions to stop their dastardly deeds. It is a simple premise, yet one that is somewhat creative and enjoyable, even though you will most likely not know what the fuck is going on in the game itself if you didn’t try reading up on the plot beforehand.

The graphics are fantastic, having plenty of personality and detail put into all of the enemies, characters, and bosses throughout the stages, and the game’s overall style is much more preferable then what had come before it on the NES, the music is pretty sweet, having plenty of great tracks that I really grew to love while playing through the game, such as this one and this one, which I never got tired of listening to when they popped up in the game, and the gameplay/control is exactly like previous Bomberman games, so you should know almost exactly what to expect if you have played literally any other game in the series before, but compared to past games, it does add in a few new additions that make the game that much more fun addicting to play for me, hence why it is now my favorite title in the series so far.

The game is an isometric maze game, where you take control of whatever color of Bomberman you choose, go through a set of six different worlds, most of them containing their own set of levels that you have to conquer, use your bombs to blow up whatever debris is around you and blow up the many foes that you will encounter, while also making sure to not blow up yourself in the process, gather plenty of power ups that can either increase your massive firepower to heights you never thought possible, or become a detriment to you and cause you grief, because why would you pick up something that has a skull on it, you fucking idiot, and take on several bosses that will provide a bit of challenge if you aren’t quite ready for them. Most of it is your standard Bomberman experience, nothing to really get too impressed by, but it is the added charm and character from the graphics and animations in this game, coupled with the new additions to the series, that made me end up loving it more than I probably ever would have if they weren’t there to begin with.

While this isn’t the first game in the series to introduce them, this game now has boss fights, something that was severely lacking in the original two NES Bomberman games, with the bosses ranging from your generic big bad robots to a nightmare-inducing clown head that I want away from me as soon as possible. These bosses, as a whole, aren’t really all that challenging, and if you know what you are doing, you can take down a lot of them pretty easily, with the exception of the final boss, who does require a little more strategy to take on, and I did struggle quite a bit with him. Nevertheless, these bosses still provided fun enough challenges, and it was a nice change of pace to take these guys on whenever I got to them.

In addition, you can now play through the main game with a friend, who will control Black Bomberman and can do just as many things as the White Bomberman can do. I myself didn’t have the pleasure of playing through the game with a friend, because I am a lonely sack of shit, but the fact that the option is there is still pretty neat, and I imagine that that would be the best way to play through the main mode… even if you can still blow each other up with your bombs. If you are not a fan of doing that in a co-operative setting, then not to fear, because as is tradition with Bomberman, there is a Battle Mode where you and up three other people (with the multitap, of course) can duke it out in an explosive match in the arena to see which one of you truly is the mightiest Bomberman of them all. Naturally, this is definitely where most of the fun that this game offers is gonna be had, and from what I have played, this is definitely the best multiplayer mode that the series has had so far, even if other games after this obviously have managed to surpass this by a long shot.

Of course though, given that this is a Bomberman game that we are talking about, most of it is still the same old shit that you have been doing time and time again, and for those who can’t get into these games, or even for those who have gotten sick of them, there will be nothing in this game that will win you over above the others. Yeah, there are those new features and enhanced modes that I mentioned, but most of these additions are just standard features you can find in any other game, so having them here really doesn’t seem like a selling point, unless you are someone who is a big fan of the series like I am. Also, some parts of the game were somewhat annoying to deal with, such as World 5 of the main mode, which was just a gauntlet against the Robot Bombermen that were made, and let me tell you, fighting them was just… sharp inhale, SO MUCH FUN (kill me). But hey, despite all that, for a game that is over 30 years old at this point in a series full of plenty of other, very similar games, it still manages to be a fun time regardless, and that is all I care about at the end of the day.

Overall, despite not that much change, Super Bomberman managed to take the typical Bomberman formula, give it a new coat of paint, and expand on it enough to where I can say it is a great time, one that is great to play whether through the single-player mode or with some buddies in some versus matches, and one that fans of the series can get a kick out of all the same. I would definitely recommend it for those who are big fans of this series, as well as those who just couldn’t get into what past games like Bomberman 1 or 2 gave them, because while there isn’t much new here, it manages to polish up most of the rough edges and add enough personality to where you could get a kick out of it regardless of what came before. satisfied sigh... you know what, I am glad that I decided to stick to these games, cause each entry just seems to be getting better and better as I keep playing them, and it makes me wanna get to the next game as soon as possible! But, of course, I gotta look at some other stuff first, just to not make things too stale. So, I’ll see you all in a month or so when I inevitably play Super Bomberman 2, and probably forget this game ever existed at all.

Game #559

Well, after taking a brief detour into the spin-off world of this franchise with a surprisingly great puzzle game, I think it’s about time that I stepped back into the proper set of Bubble Bobble games. For every single one of these games that I had reviewed before, I had already had prior knowledge of them from previous playthroughs I did in the past, but from here on out, everything is gonna be brand new for me, so I am curious to see how exactly Taito manages to evolve this franchise over the next few entries, while also hopefully trying to not destroy it in the process. But of course, because consistency is a myth, we have yet another confusing entry in the series that calls itself Bubble Bobble II, which is not only supposed to be a sequel to the original game, it also apparently takes place after the events of Parasol Stars. I would question this, but I think the best way to approach this series’s continuity is how one should approach the Zelda timeline: pretending it doesn’t exist. So, I managed to do that and have a good ol’ time with the game in question, Bubble Symphony.

Like I mentioned before, I had never played this particular entry in the series before, but I was pretty excited to check it out for several reasons, primarily because this was gonna be the first time that I was gonna be playing the arcade versions of one of these games. Not to say that the other versions of the previous games were bad, but it is clear from what I have heard that the arcade versions are the true versions of these games, so I was ready to go in and fully see one of these games in their full, intended glory. So now that I have played one of these games in their full intended glory, I can certainly say that… it’s a Bubble Bobble game alright, but that’s not a bad thing in this case. It still manages to be a great game, giving fans plenty of what they love about this franchise, while bringing in some changes and nice surprises to make you want to see everything this game has to offer.

The story is appropriately simple for this franchise, where four kids named Bubblun, Bobblun, Kululun, and Cororon are having a good time reading some books like model citizens, but while doing so, they inadvertently unleash the evil Hyper Drunk into the world, who turns them into dragons and sent into another world, so it is up to the four of them to find their way back home, defeat Hyper Drunk, and find a way to return back to normal, which is not only a good enough plot for one of these games, but it also proves just how dangerous books can be, so thank god something showed us the truth. The graphics are pretty great, not only being as bright, colorful, and energetic as you could ever want, but also having great designs for all of the characters, enemies, and bosses that make the game a joy to look at, the music is pretty good, once again not having too many tracks, and the ones that are there are played over and over again, but they are good tracks to listen to, even if they aren’t as catchy as the classic tunes, and the gameplay/control is almost identical to that of previous Bubble Bobble games, with a few twists and turns here or there, so fans and newcomers alike should be able to jump in and have a good time with it immediately.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of one of the four kids that I mentioned earlier, go through many different levels spanning across many different worlds, shoot many enemies in the face with your unlimited supply of bubbles so that you can pop them out of existence and collect their remains in the form of delicious fruits and other various items, gather plenty of different power ups and items which can not only change what your bubbles can do, but also give you temporary boosts and lead towards getting the best ending of the game, and take on several bosses that will give you a hard time if you aren’t rapid-firing your bubble power like crazy at them to take them out really quickly. Anyone who has played Bubble Bobble before this will be able to understand pretty much everything this game is doing, as there aren’t really any huge changes to the formula to shake things up, but not only is the main gameplay still fun enough to where you don’t care too much about that, but also the game has a touch of personality and charm that none of the games previously have managed to match, even if very close.

Given how this is meant to be a sequel to the original Bubble Bobble, it does implement some things that weren’t present in that game originally, such as with the inclusion of more power ups to mess around with and more bosses to fight, and while none of these are anything too new to the franchise as a whole, the way they are implemented in this game does feel pretty natural and very fun to experience. It feels like this is the proper evolution of the original title, not needing to completely reinvent the main gameplay or change up any of the characters and scenarios, which definitely helps it out a lot more in the end. Not to mention, the core elements of the original game that are brought back here are vastly improved upon, such as with the playable characters, with there being not only more options to choose from, but each one is distinct from each other, having their own attribute to take advantage of, which is pretty neat, and does allow for a lot of experimentation to see which kind of playstyle suits you best, even if I just mainly stuck with Bubblun for most of the journey.

Much like in the typical Bubble Bobble fashion, the game also has a lot of things to do and see, having many different worlds to see and levels to beat, while also having a ton of replay value as well. After beating each world, you are given the choice of what different world you want to go to next, with there being specific paths you can take that will lead to several different endings, encouraging you to replay the game to take different routes to see what else you can find. Not to mention, each of the worlds have unique themes to them, such as the generic ones like a dessert-themed world and a toy-themed world, or eve ones that are based on other Taito properties, like Space Invaders and Kiki KaiKai (Pocky & Rocky? What the fuck is that?). It is really weird to see these kinds of worlds in this world, but at the same time, my huge-ass smile signifies how much I like them, and the game wouldn’t be as great if they weren’t in there at all.

If none of that bubbles your bobble though (I am so sorry), then there probably won’t be much else here to win you over if you weren’t into the other games. Most of it is your typical Bubble Bobble affair, where ya blow bubbles, ya pop enemies, they turn into weird objects, and you question what drugs you took before turning on the game: we all know how this goes at this point. Even if you ignore that though, there are still those elements that I, a true Bubble Bobbler at heart, still am not a fan of, such as the fact that you need to find all of these separate objects in order to get the true ending. While it isn’t as cryptic as the original game, it is random enough to where it can be a pain at times, especially since you are always on a time limit, and I don’t want that whale ghost to bubble my bobble at all.

Overall, despite not that much change and some elements of the franchise being here that I just want to leave me alone, this was still yet another great entry in this great series, full with enough energy and adorable vibes that makes me wanna keep playing, plenty for you to do and see, and small changes that do the job at making this feel like a true sequel to the original, despite all the other follow-ups that came beforehand. I would definitely recommend it for those who are big fans of the series, or for those who have never played this series before, because even if the game is a little more obscure than others, it is a great place to start, and I’m sure you’ll have a great time with it, even with a friend right alongside you. And since I can’t think of any joke to end this review off of, I guess I will make a promise to you all that, from this point on, I will never EVER make a “bubble your bobble” joke again. Probably already lost enough followers as is just from that joke, no need to keep bobbling it up like that.

Game #558

You know what I haven’t done in a hot minute or so? Make fun of ADK, so let’s do that again! I mean, why not, it should be a fun thing to do, and besides, not doing so has been eating at my soul. I have been too nice to them recently, with me actually somehow liking World Heroes 2 Jet, so it only feels right to go to one of their older products, to examine how bland and uninspired it is, and then point out all of the other ridiculous elements present in said product along the way. But what other ground have they covered? They’ve done fighting games, they’ve done platformers, they’ve done run ‘n guns, so what else can they screw up at… looking at list... a beat-’em-up? Oh, that’s perfect! So now, for most of you at home, let’s go ahead and talk about a game that you all have never heard of in your life, Ninja Combat.

Like you, I had no clue that this game existed until I decided to look it up for myself, and based on what I did see about it, it looked extremely underwhelming. It was a launch title for the Neo Geo systems back in the day, so that is to be expected, but that doesn’t automatically spell out the quality of a game. I mean, Super Mario World was a launch title, and we still love that game, so who’s to say that this game wouldn’t be any better or worse? Well, unfortunately though, it isn’t quite on the same level as Super Mario World, and it wasn’t bad enough to where I could have fun ripping it to shreds, so the most I can say is that it is just… there. It does it’s job, and I bet you could have a good time with it with the right person to join you, but if you aren’t immediately on board with what the game gives you from the minute you press the start button, then you are gonna be in for a very mediocre time.

The story is just as generic as the game itself, where the evil Shadow Family starts to take over New York with the help of their Ninja Tower and all the baddies that dwell within it, so it is up to the brothers Joe and Hayabusa, along with a few other faces they run into along the way, to storm the tower and take the family down, which can only be an exciting plot if you have never played any other game in your life, which, let’s be honest, the chances of this being someone’s first game are VERY slim. The graphics are ok, looking on the same level as all of ADK’s other games I have played so far, meaning that it looks on par with other Neo Geo titles, but somehow feels cheap and artificial when you play it, the music is fine, having decent tracks for the levels and boss fights, but they are gonna leave your mind just as quickly as the game itself when you are done with it, and the gameplay/control is very generic and simple for the genre, but somehow it feels more soulless and generic then most of the other beat-’em-up games I have ever played… but it somehow isn’t as bad as Rushing Beat, so it gets a gold star!

The game is your typical hack and slash beat-’em-up, where you take control of Joe, Hayabusa, or any of the other characters you meet along the way, take on seven different stages through several different generic environments on your way to take on whatever lies in the Ninja Tower, slice down plenty of enemies using plenty of different attacks, including a special attack that you can pull off if you have enough health, gather plenty of weapons to help you out along the way, as well as scrolls that can grant you increased strength and speed, along with extra lives at points, and take on plenty of bosses that do look threatening enough, but is about as challenging as breathing air… or at least, if you have infinite credits like I do. You see it, you know it, you love it, you know what you are getting into with the game, but as I have mentioned several times already, aside from one or two admirable aspects of the game, there isn’t really anything here to make this anything more than a generic time waster for a half hour before you never touch it again.

I will say, despite how generic and soulless the game is as a whole, I did like some aspects about it, such as how it handles additional characters and power-ups. Like I mentioned before, there are those scrolls that upgrade your character as you keep going, which is pretty sweet to get and hang onto, and for the first couple of stages, whenever you beat them, you end up unlocking a new character that you can switch to in-between stages, and they can be fun to mess around with, especially Musashi, who became my go-to character for the remainder of the game. However, that’s really where all of my compliments end, as when you play the game for yourself, you can feel all the care and love that the developers DIDN’T put into this, especially when it comes to your main attack, which is so broken that you can pretty much just spam it and take care of whatever comes your way. Yeah, bosses require a bit more strategy, but most of the other enemies aren’t a threat whatsoever, and you can defeat them all with one hand while checking your phone, which I’m pretty sure I did at one point.

In addition to that, there are also the typical roadblocks that I ran into when it came to what I don’t enjoy in these kinds of games, such as arcade syndrome, where the game throws many enemies at you at once and expects you to deal with them all before they get the chance to take you down, and there are repeating bosses, which aren’t too bad most of the time, but there was at least one instance where a boss was repeated TWICE, because I guess the devs just loved fighting him so much, they wanted us to feel that same love as well. With all that said and done, again, I will say that the game as a whole isn’t really all that bad. It accomplishes what it sets out to do, and again, if you need some way to kill 30 minutes, it is a good way to do so, but with nothing here to not only stand out, but also make it seem like the devs had any kind of idea how to make an engaging product, why would you choose to play it over anything else?

Overall, despite the fun-at-times combat and some gameplay features that I did end up liking, this is one of the most “nothing” beat-’em-ups that I have ever played, doing the bare minimum and showing off what the Neo Geo is capable of, but not giving any reason for players to return to it, or even choose it over the many better games in the genre that came out before and since. I would recommend it for those who are obsessed with the genre, as well as those who want an idea of one of the earliest points in the Neo Geo’s lifespan, but aside from that, I would just stick to other titles if you want some great beat-’em-up action with your friends. But, I will say, there is one thing very appealing about this game that only this company and SNK can manage to pull off to make me want to check out every one of their games from this era: the voice acting. Like most of these games, it is so terrible, that if you don’t have any interest in playing this yourself, at least give a listen to the “cutscenes” in the game. You won’t regret it.

Game #557

Have you ever watched somebody play a game, said somebody being one of your friends or somebody online, and they just… you know… suck? Like, they COMPLETELY suck. Whether they are playing the game for the first time, or they have a good amount of experience with it, they just can’t seem to get the handle of it, whether it be trying to pass a specific challenge or just try to play the game in general, and you watch as they just can’t figure it out in. In some scenarios, you could potentially offer your input to try to help them out, or, if you are anything like me, you sit back and laugh at their misery all the way through. Not only that, but you also think to yourself “Hey, you know what, I’m good at video games… I could do a much better job at playing this game then this CHUMP could”, which was basically my mindset whenever I went into X-Kaliber 2097.

I had never played this game before the day I am typing this review, nor do I really know anything about it, but I have seen it before, primarily through a YouTube video featuring Arin of the Game Grumps playing the game. He didn’t really get far at all, getting destroyed by the first boss, which could be looked at from two different perspectives. On one hand, maybe the boss was just actually pretty difficult, or, on the other hand, considering some of Arin’s previous endeavors when trying to play games meant for children, maybe he just straight up fucking blows, which is a distinct possibility. I figured, since enough time has passed, I would give the game a shot myself to see if it is actually as hard as it looks, and from my experience, I can say that it is not… or at least, it isn’t completely impossible anyway. But anyway, you all came here to hear me review a game, not show up some rando on the internet, and from what I played, I can say that X-Kaliber 2097 is………. ok. It’s fine for what it is, and it has some appeal to it, but it doesn’t offer anything too special that plenty of other games at the time were also doing.

The story is typical for a game like this, where in the far future of 2097, the world has fallen, and crime has run rampant throughout, all run by a mysterious individual named Raptor, who ends up kidnapping one of the only humans unaffected by the crime known as Alix, so it is up to Slash, Alix’s partner/friend/possibleloveinterest, to equip himself with the X-Kaliber blade and go rescue her, which… I mean, what do you want me to say, it’s a Mario plot, and Mario plots are about as exciting as waking up in the morning. The graphics are alright, having detailed visuals for the enemies, stages, and bosses, but it all looks very generic for a SNES title, which can also be said for the music, which, while not bad by any means, isn’t anything all too special, and some tracks are repeated over and over again, but it sounds good enough for what you will be doing in the game, and the gameplay/control is simple enough, having some complex mechanics for the combat, but most of it is your standard SNES platformer affair that you know all too well.

The game is a 2D hack and slash platformer, where you take control of Slash, go through six different stages full of generic SNES-era environments we have all seen plenty of times, slash your way through plenty of enemies while combating any enemy fire that you will see along the way, gather plenty of food items to heal yourself in the nick of time so that you don’t end up as a rotting corpse on the floor, and take on plenty of one-on-one fights with the game’s bosses, who will provide a great amount of challenge and will test how much you can spam your sword swipe when necessary to fend them off. It is a game that solely relies on its difficulty most of the time to carry itself, which in this case isn’t necessarily a good thing, because outside of all that, there isn’t much else to get too excited about here. But hey, it still manages to be decent, so I guess I can’t fault it for that.

What you see is what you get with this kind of game, as it is as straight and narrow as you would expect. You run from left to right, up, down, or whatever direction the game chooses, you slash a bunch of dudes, you get items, you cry whenever you get hit and inevitably die, it is all too familiar for platforming enthusiasts like myself. It feels like it is trying to be something like Strider or Run Saber, except it forgot about the part where the gameplay needs to be fast and exciting in order to achieve a fraction of that likability. Outside of the main game though, there is also a Duel Mode present in the game, which pretty much functions like a fighting game mode. You pick between six of the game’s characters, fight a friend in a one-on-one battle, and see which one of you is the best person in the friend group while everyone else cowers in shame. I didn’t play this mode for this review, but from what I have seen, it doesn’t really look like anything too fun, and is just something tacked onto the package just in case you are tired of getting smacked from the main mode.

Which speaking of, that is one thing I can give this game, because where it fails to bring the same energy and fun that Strider and Run Saber has, it does bring in the difficulty that those games had, because HOLY FUCK, it is hard. For the record, I did play through the whole thing on Normal mode, and even then, there were plenty of enemies coming in to take shots at me, throwing in attacks that I couldn’t quite avoid in time, and a limited amount of range for your attacks which can lead to some disastrous encounters if you aren’t prepared. Not to mention, the bosses are on an entirely different level when it comes to their difficulty, as it feels like luck whether or not you can win some of these… but then you get to bosses like Raptor, who you can just defeat by repeating the same basic attack over and over again with how open he leaves himself most of the time, so reality, maybe I really am just a chump who can’t play most of this game properly without getting smacked down.

Overall, despite how the main gameplay does work well enough, as well as how brutal the game can be at times, X-Kaliber 2097 is one of the most average and lifeless games I have ever played from the SNES, having all of the ingredients here that could make for a pretty great hidden gem for the system, but not knowing what to do with any of them, which ends up making one of the most forgettable gaming experiences that I have had in recent memory. I would only recommend it for those who desperately need something new to play, specifically from this era, because otherwise, there are many, MANY better options for you out there. But anyway, before we end this review off, I would like to point out that, for some unexplained reason, this game has SEVEN difficulty options… SEVEN, ranging from Very Easy to Hardest. Normal is just the third difficulty option, so I can’t even imagine what it would be like to try to play on the Hardest setting. My guess is that, once you enter the first level, Slash just immediately has a heart attack and dies, giving you an instant game over. It would be a much better alternative then going through what he does have to go through.

Game #556

One of the more prominent types of arcade games out there that I don’t really have too much experience with would be with light-gun games, which is a shame too, considering that, from the little experience I do have with them, they can be some of the most fun games you can get from the arcade. I remember playing quite a lot of these games back in the day whenever my family and I would go somewhere that had an arcade, such as a Jurassic Park game I can’t remember the name of, a Terminator game that I can’t remember the name of, and of course, The House of the Dead, which my Dad and I would play more than any of the others because of how fun it was. It has been quite a while though since those good ol’ days, and I haven’t really touched any other games from this genre for quite a while (or at least, any good ones), so I figured I would finally jump back into things with one of the more primitive games in the genre, Lethal Enforcers.

I have had zero experience with this game or series before playing it for this review, but I was aware of it to an extent, given how it was one of the games that sparked controversy in 1993 for how “realistic” and “violent” it was, right alongside the original Mortal Kombat and Night Trap. Aside from that though, I knew nothing about it, but just from taking one look at the game through a video, I immediately said to myself “Wow, this looks really fucking dumb…….. I’m sold”, and decided to give it a spin. From that playthrough, I can certainly say that this is the light-gun game of all time, but not gonna lie… I kinda can’t help but love it, not just because it still works well enough for a game in this genre, but also because it is just as dumb as that video from before made it out to be, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The story is practically non-existent, where one day, a local Chicago cop by the name of Don Marshall is enjoying himself on his break, when all of a sudden he gets a call on dispatch informing him that a large crime syndicate has taken over the city, and most of other officers have either been badly wounded or killed, so it is up to him and Unnamed Partner Cop (I can’t find her name online if she has one) to go stop these criminals once and for all, which just sounds like your typical day in Chicago to me, but hey, it works well enough for a basic premise. The graphics are… certainly something, to say the least, and they look incredibly crusty nowadays, but it must’ve looked pretty impressive for the time that it came out, so I’ll give it credit for that, the music is pretty great, giving off that good ol’ arcade Konami feel, sounding like it came straight from one of their TMNT games as well, which makes it all the more enjoyable to listen to, and the gameplay/control is as basic and barebones as you can expect from a light-gun game, which is to be expected from a game like this, but it was enough for me at the end of the day.

The game is a light-gun shooter, where you take control of either Don Marshall or Unnamed Partner Cop, go through a set of five different levels, each with a different crime that you have to stop, shoot down any thug on screen before they get the chance to shoot you down, but don’t shoot any innocent civilians or other cops that will get in your way constantly (because why wouldn’t they), gather plenty of different guns to help you out against the many threats that you will be facing while out on the job, take on several bonus stages to see how many targets you can shoot before time runs out for additional points, and take on some big and tough bosses, who will truly test you in how fast you can shoot down their many bullets and get only one shot in before you try to reload and then immediately die as a result………….. yeah, it’s one of those games. All of this is pretty standard for that of a light-gun game, and for what we have here, it works well enough, but it isn’t anything you haven’t seen from any other light-gun game released before or since this game. However, like I mentioned before, there is one thing that did ultimately draw me into it and made me love it despite all of that… how stupid it is.

Given the fact that this game uses digitized footage of real actors and voice clips not just for the short cinematics at the beginning of each level, but also for all the enemies and they’re animations, you can tell just what kind of game we are dealing with here, and just like with something like Night Trap, you will most likely get the most enjoyment out of this game just from watching and listening to it. All of the stages look like they are just a bunch of images ripped straight from the internet and placed together, the movements for all of the enemies are incredibly stiff and ridiculous, the voice acting you will hear from everybody is horribly done, making all of the lines spoken in this game hilarious to some extent, and then there are the death animations for the bosses, which are just… oh so glorious. It fits perfectly right alongside the many other terrible FMV-type games out there, and thankfully, the gameplay still manages to be simple, yet enjoyable enough to where you will have a good time playing the game while goofily smiling at everything else.

However, dumbass visuals and voice acting can only get you so far, and for Lethal Enforcers, it isn’t quite far enough to where I would say it is a masterclass of this genre. It is a very typical light-gun game in every way, where ya point, ya shoot, ya die a lot because of arcade syndrome, ya input coins into the machine until your Mom decides she won’t give you anymore change to keep going, we all know how it goes at this point. There have been many games that have come out since this that manage to do this much better, so there isn’t too much here aside from the crusty visuals that will make people want to come back to it. Not to mention, while I do appreciate how there are different weapons you can acquire throughout the game, most of them are practically pointless, since most of the enemies you will encounter usually die in one hit. Yeah, you could save the weapons for the few tougher enemies and the bosses you encounter, but considering how you lose said weapons after only getting hit once, that is more than likely not gonna go well for you.

Overall, despite its basic gameplay and outdated visuals, the original Lethal Enforcers still managed to be a fun time regardless, providing a good amount of light-gun gameplay without feeling like it overstays its welcome (for the most part), as well as plenty of goofy visuals and lines of dialogue to where someone like me would want to see everything it has to offer, just to see how much dumber it could get as it goes. I would recommend it for those who are fans of other light-gun games, as well as those who enjoy dated products like Night Trap, because while other games can certainly do what this game does but better, this one could still provide a good amount of fun regardless, especially with a friend alongside you. I just hope that, for the sequel, they double down on all of the stupidity that was found in this game to make something even more beautifully cheesy. From what I have seen though, that game is gonna be going for a cowboy theme, so needless to say, I have nothing to worry about in that regard.

Game #555

A long time ago, there was a little game company known as Game Freak, who around this time hadn’t really done anything too noteworthy in the industry. Sure, later down the road, they would make some absolute, guaranteed everybody-knows-them-by-heart hits, like HarmoKnight, Drill Dozer, and Tembo the Badass Elephant, but around this time, they made much smaller and more simple games, such as original titles like Mendel Palace, or even games based on already established franchises like Yoshi for the NES and Mario & Wario. All of these games were good in their own way (I assume anyway, because who the fuck actually played Mendel Palace), but none of them would be anything that most would consider to be spectacular, able to stand on their own and be beloved by many to this day. That would all change though when they would go onto making one game, one game that would launch them into a string of successes that are still going on to this very day, and this game would simply be known as…………. Pulseman.

For a good while now, I have been very curious about checking out some of Game Freak’s lesser-known titles, because I hadn’t really played that many of them. I have obviously played Yoshi, as you can see here, and I also played this other thing of theirs called Pokemon, but you probably don’t care too much about that, which wouldn’t be surprising, since clearly nobody knows what that game is, but aside from those two, I haven’t checked out anything else they have made. Pulseman is one that I have had my eye on for quite some time, not only because I love the design of Pulseman himself, but also because it looked like a lot of fun from the brief bits and pieces that I have seen of it. Not to mention, it was only released for us Americans through the Sega Channel, and as we all know, all of the best games were locked behind that service. So, I finally decided to try it out, and yeah, I did end up having a pretty great time with it, with the game managing to keep things fun and engaging pretty much all the way through, even if there were several issues that did pop up from time to time, although none of that stopped me from enjoying myself.

The story is……… quite something, to say the least, where the world is thrown into chaos by the evil Doc Waruyama and his Galaxy Gang, so it is up to Pulseman to set out to stop this mad man from getting away with his evil deeds, which isn’t really all that creative or interesting, but the weird and stupid stuff comes in when you learn about how Pulseman was created, which definitely caught me off guard. So, apparently, there was this scientist named Doc Yoshiyama, who created an artificial intelligence named C-Life, who was able to feel, think, and express complex emotions much like a human. After some time passes, he ends up falling in love with what he has created, and since he probably is a big fan of the movie Her, he uploads himself into his computer, where he and C-Life then proceed to have passionate sex, and from this sex, Pulseman is born…………………….. yes, that is actually part of the plot of this game, and I don’t know whether or not I should be impressed by the fact that they put that in this game, or concerned about someone at Game Freak wanting to fuck their computer.

But anyway, the graphics are, to me at least, fantastic, not only having wonderful designs for Pulseman and several of the other characters, but also having plenty of bright and colorful environments pleasant throughout the game that you travel through, even if they can be a little too much on the eyes at times, especially for those with epilepsy, the music is pretty decent, having plenty of great tunes to listen to while running through plenty of these stages, even if it doesn’t reach the same quality as other soundtracks from the Genesis, and the gameplay/control is pretty solid all around, being very simple on the surface level, but having plenty of gimmicks and challenges that keep you on your toes and have you experiment with what you can do, which kept things fun and engaging for me all throughout.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Pulseman, go through seven different stages through plenty of stand-out locations all across the globe, take out plenty of enemies along the way and conquer a handful of platforming challenges using your electrical powers for combat and transportation, gather plenty of different health items, extra lives, and temporary power-ups to help you along the way with whatever you are dealing with, take on several bonus stages to get extra lives by turning yourself into a game of Breakout, and take on plenty of bosses that will challenge you in plenty of ways, while still being pretty manageable to defeat. In many ways, it is just a standard platformer through and through, so anyone burnt out on the genre wouldn’t be able to get into it just from hearing a description like that, but like with several other games on this same system, the style and charm it has does most of the heavy lifting, while also still managing to keep the main gameplay fun, addicting, and, dare I say, electrifying.

Since this is a platformer that was made on the Genesis that was made after Sonic the Hedgehog, one of the key aspects of the gameplay is speed and momentum, which I think plays a huge part in why I was having such a good time with the game. Not only are there a lot of instances where there are plenty of narrow pathways for you to run down, gain plenty of speed, and blast your way through enemies and platforming challenges using proper jumps and attacks, but some of your more powerful attacks are charged up through running, where you can then launch a ball of lightning out of your hands to just obliterate your foes. This also manages to be a great way to aid you in proceeding through levels as well, as you can charge yourself up into being a ball of electricity that bounces around the screen for a good bit, which can not only allow you to reach higher places much easier, but also ride on electric currents that are pretty fun to grind along and jump to and from flawlessly.

Of course though, this game isn’t a Sonic the Hedgehog, so it doesn’t focus primarily on speed, and there are still plenty of different platforming challenges to take on, and for the most part, they were great to take on. Some of them can get pretty repetitive, such as having to constantly break these walls of bricks to proceed forward at plenty of moments, but thankfully, this is interrupted with plenty of other sequences throughout the game. They manage to keep the gameplay consistently exciting and engaging, while also being properly mixed with the more speedy sections of the game. Also, one other part I also really enjoyed is whenever you are fighting the Dark Pulseman boss, and you have to defeat him by stunning him by clashing with him in mid-air before hitting him, complete with slowdown and sparks flying to emphasize the impact. It isn’t much, but that shit makes my brain go brr in the best way possible, and made that entire boss fight much more enjoyable, even if it did get somewhat tedious after a bit.

I won’t lie though, this game is far from perfect, as despite how much fun I was having with the game, I can see plenty of its imperfections clear as day. The level design for some of the stages could definitely be improved on, such as with plenty of instances where you need to get through these very narrow gaps in order to proceed through the level, and it can take a little bit to get through them. Sure, you can always just turn into a ball of electricity to bypass these sections, but doing that can be pretty clunky at points, so it does slow things down to a halt, which I wasn’t a fan of whenever that kind of stuff popped up. Not to mention, there were several glitches that I ran into while I was playing the game, such as instances where I would walk through walls, get stuck in some parts of the ground, and even one or two instances where I was thrown to the other side of the screen for seemingly no reason. I’m not sure if that is just because of the fact that I was playing this on the NSO, but even then, it is clear that this game needed a little more polishing up before it was shipped out to the market.

Overall, despite some clunky level design here and there, as well as those few glitches that I did encounter, I ended up having a great time with Pulseman, being one of the most fun, fast, and engaging platformers on the system that doesn’t involve any blue rodents, and it is definitely one of the best late-release games for the system. I would definitely recommend it for those of you who are a big fan of old-school platformers, as well as those who only know Game Freak for Poke- I MEAN, uh, frantically looks through list… Little Town Hero (sure, why not), because if you think they are merely a one-trick pony and nothing more, this game can truly show just what kind of other games they are truly capable of. Just, you know, ignore that part about the story where the man fucked the computer, and it gave birth to a creature. Definitely wasn’t expecting to learn that myself today.

Game #554

If there is one video game console out there that I have very little experience with as a whole, in terms of both the system and the games, would be with the TurboGrafx-16, or the PC Engine for those of you who care about that kind of shit. It’s a shame though, because it seems like there are so many great titles for the system that have been lost over time, and while I myself have played one or two of these titles throughout my life, most of the library is an absolute mystery to me. So, I figured I would go ahead and try to check out more TurboGrafx-16 games (key word being “try”) so that I can see if there are any hidden gems out there that are permanently stapled to this console. Before I get there though, I may as well start off with the character who is said to be the mascot of the system, Bonk, and his first game, Bonk’s Adventure.

I have zero experience with Bonk as a whole, as I have never played any game in the series before, but I have known of him for quite some time. It didn’t look like anything too grand or special, but it had some kind of odd charm to it, not just in terms of its presentation, but also due to some of its… odd qualities. But hey, again, maybe there is something to Bonk that makes his games some of the best that you could have for the TG-16, so I decided to play through the first game to see if that was the case………… it wasn’t the case. From what we got here, it’s a good game, and I’m sure owners of the system would have a pretty good time with it, but it isn’t anything too unique or original compared to other platformers out there.

The story is straight out of “How to Make a Platformer from the 80’s and 90’s for Dummies”, where the fair maiden Princess Za is kidnapped by the evil King Drool and taken away from her home on Moonland, so it is up to Bonk to set out on a mission to rescue her, which is the most stereotypical plot you could ask for, but hey, Mario did it, and he sold millions of copies, so why can’t Bonk do that too? The graphics are good, looking like a much more detailed version of an NES game, and having plenty of good sprites for the enemies, bosses, and Bonk himself, but it is nothing too exciting, the music is pretty good, with some catchy 8-bit tunes to listen to while you are going around and bonking all over the place, even if none of them stand out as anything to listen to, and the gameplay/controls are pretty basic for a game like this, but it is all put together in a way that works and is fun to play, with the exception of a few snags in the road I did encounter.

The game is your typical 2D platformer, where you take control of Bonk the caveman, go through a set of five worlds, each filled with a set of different stages to conquer, defeat many different enemies using your giant noggin to bonk the shit out of someone, whether by jumping or just hitting them regularly, gather plenty of different food items to heal yourself, as well as some power ups and upgrades to make your journey a little easier, and take on plenty of prehistoric foes that will give you a good challenge if you aren’t using your head like you should. It is a simple set up with a simple execution, but it manages to be fun enough, and bonking all these losers in the head does feel satisfying when you get it right.

A lot of the charm and uniqueness from this game, from what I experienced, is not just seen from all the different enemies and bosses that you fight, but also Bonk himself, who is one of the most expressive protagonists I have seen from this era of video games. He has so many faces for anything that he does, such as when he is climbing up a wall with his big-ass teeth, whenever he gets hit and his eyes bulge out like a cartoon character, and even when he gets a power up, where he bugs the fuck out, with his head exploding and him floating up in the air for a few seconds. It is weird as hell, but I am a big fan of weird, and again, it adds a lot of charm and fun to whatever it is you are doing and facing in this game. The same can also be said for the upgrades and abilities you can get, such as with the powerups where you can headbutt the ground and stun all of the enemies, extra hearts that will give you more health for whatever lies ahead, and temporary invincibility so that you can blaze through a lot of your problems lickety-split of you know what you are doing. Granted some of these power ups are temporary, which kinda sucks, but they do help out a lot when you have them, and you have them for enough time to where you can make good use out of them before they run out.

The temporary power ups aren’t the only issue that I have with this game though, as there are some that I did have, with the biggest issues being with Bonk himself, or more so how he controls. I don’t know how to describe it, but something about Bonk’s momentum feels very… off, and you can feel it whenever you try to run and jump a specific distance, whenever you fall off of a ledge and onto another platform, and whenever you are in a tight space and need to bonk somethings. Again, I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but for those of you who have played the game before, you’d know what I am talking about. You can especially feel it whenever you try to climb up a wall or swim up a water stream, which doesn’t feel great to do at all, and I hate having to do that whenever it pops up, such as in stages that require you to go upwards in order to complete them. Aside from that, there is also a unnecessary boss rush here, which I love about as much as a trip to the doctor, and how it is just yet another prehistoric platformer at the end of the day. It is one of the earliest ones that were made, to my knowledge, but given how many there were back in the day, they all tend to blend together after a while.

Overall, despite some control issues and some common platforming tropes that I wish weren’t there, for his first title, Bonk’s Adventure managed to still be a good time, providing plenty of fun platforming challenges to take on, fun bosses to fight, and the zany charm that I would expect from a character with as big a head as that one. I would recommend it for those who are fans of old-school 2D platformers, as well as those who also want to see just what kind of games the TG-16 has, because despite how there are plenty of other games out there that are better than this, Bonk is literally the perfect place to start for those of you who want to go down that route. Oh yeah, and by the way, there is also an arcade version of this game that’s apparently much more different then this version, and I would play it, but… I don’t want to. I am just one man, and there are too many other games calling my name at the moment, so I apologize to all you bonking fanatics out there.

Game #553

In a set of fighting games that weren’t trying anything to really stand out from each other, getting more repetitive with each one I tried out, the original Samurai Shodown managed to be a breath of fresh air for me, and I ended up really enjoying it. Sure, it was more or less just another SNK fighting game at its core, but with the inclusion of weapons, more emphasis on story, and several other factors that made fights more enjoyable, it was definitely one of my favorite fighting games that I have played from the company so far. Not to mention, it was very well-received by audiences and was commercially successful, so SNK decided to make the series yet another staple fighting franchise of theirs… right alongside their million other staple fighting franchises, and they would make sure of that with the release of the next game in the series, Samurai Shodown II.

Typically, whenever I go into one of these fighting games, I am not one to get all too excited to see what they are all about, since a lot of the ones that I have checked out so far don’t really do that much to expand upon the gameplay, and it just feels like another installment for the sake of it (cough, Fatal Fury 2, cough, Art of Fighting 2, cough). However, since I really loved my time with the original Samurai Shodown, I was more then ready to jump into the next game, and now that I have, I am happy to say that this game is even better than the original, as it manages to deliver the same fast-based, weapon-using goodness from before, along with several new enhancements that definitely improve the experience. It isn’t too much of a leap in quality, with not too many substantial changes, but hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, y’know what I mean?

The story is, as to be expected, pretty basic, where one year after the original game, an evil spirit by the name of Mizuki seeks to spread chaos and destruction across the land, so it is up to the warriors of the previous game, accompanied by a few new ones, to take the fight to Mizuki and save the world once again, which is a premise most would definitely expect from this game, but hey, any excuse to slice dudes up with a sword is good enough for me. The graphics are almost identical to that of every other SNK fighter released at this time, to the point where if you put them all together, you could hardly tell them apart, but it still looks great, and the animations for all the characters and moves are really great, the music is really enjoyable, having plenty of great tracks that fit the theme and setting of the game, and are pretty great to battle opponents to, and the gameplay/control is a major departure from the original title, being extremely experimental when compared to most of the other fighting games from the company so far, but it would pave the way for the series forward from here on out…………… nah, just kidding, it’s the same shit they have done a million times before.

The game is a 2D fighting game, where you take control of one of 15 warriors, most being from the original game and some being new, take on plenty of different opponents in a wide variety of locations, throw out plenty of different attacks using whatever weapon you currently have equipped, while also mixing in plenty of different combos and special moves to get a major advantage over your opponents, grab whatever items are thrown into the ring while also making sure to avoid any bombs that are also thrown into the ring, and bask in glorious victory when you take out every single enemy set before you… or, you know, feel absolute shame when you give up and move onto something else instead. Those who have played the original game, or any other SNK fighting game for that matter, should know exactly what they are getting into with this title, which can be a great thing or a bad thing depending on who you ask. For me, it is definitely a great thing, as it manages to take the gameplay from the original and make it just that extra bit more fun and addicting.

Not much has changed about the main structure of gameplay when compared to the original game. You are still just primarily going through plenty of CPU opponents, take them all down one by one, and face off against friends if they are up for it. What has changed, however, would be when it comes to the techniques that you can pull off in the field, such as being able to dash forward and backwards, smaller jumps, and ducking. All of these don’t sound like too much of a major addition to the formula, but it does make fights that much more involved, and it allows for plenty of versatility against how you can deal with an opponent while trying to get plenty of hits in. In addition, there is also the new parry system that was implemented, where if you are able to successfully input the command whenever an opponent tries to hit you, they will be stunned momentarily so that you can get a clear shot in. Once again, this isn’t too much of a big change, but if you can properly take advantage of this move and apply it to any situation, you can make short work of an opponent in no time.

With all that being said though, if none of that really sounds like your cup of tea, then this is essentially just yet another fighting game from SNK, which they RARELY ever do, obviously. It can be extremely fun if you were a big fan of the first game and the series as a whole, like I am starting to become, but it isn’t gonna change things up too much to where you absolutely need to jump on it immediately after playing the original game. Even then though, I still would consider this to be a big improvement over the original game, not just because of all that stuff I just mentioned before, but the difficulty also feels much more manageable here, and the gameplay is still just as fast and reactionary as ever, making for a lot of great fights that can happen throughout your time playing it.

Overall, despite there not being too many changes present in the main gameplay, this game manages to feel like not only a natural evolution for the series after what we had in the first game, but also yet another really fun time as a whole, with great new mechanics to learn and take advantage of, plenty of new characters to try out and get accustomed to, and plenty of fun fights to take on. I would definitely recommend it for those who loved the original game, as well as those who love fighting games in general, because I’m sure you could get plenty of fun out of it for an afternoon or so, especially with some friends to join you. But anyway, at this point, this is usually when I would leave some kind of joke to end the review off, but Imma be real with y’all, it is like 1AM when I am typing this, and I just really want to get to bed. See you all tomorrow when I review another random game from the past nobody remembers… falls asleep on keyboard

Game #552

If you at one point in your life ever decided to play a Gradius game, but you just didn’t think that there was enough Japan in the game to please your needs, then Parodius may be able to satiate your cravings, while making you break your hands in the process of trying to beat it for yourself. This was close to the experience I had when checking out the original game, which was basically your typical Gradius game that came with all the sweet powerups and the insane difficulty that you would expect, but right alongside that was a whole bunch of charming oddities, which range from the enemies and the music, all the way up to the bosses, which made me have a good time with the game as a whole, even if the gameplay was nothing to write home about. Nevertheless, I assume that that original game was pretty successful back when it first came out, because it would then spawn its own series of games that would be released right alongside Gradius, starting with the sequel to the game, Parodius! From Myth to Laughter.

Out of all of the games in the series, this was the one I was most familiar with before going into it, not because I had played it before, but I had seen a good chunk of the game in a video I made a long time ago, and while I hadn’t seen the full thing in action, I pretty much knew what I was getting into. You know, aside from the fact that this was just another Gradius game, so it was probably gonna play just like all the others, and WHADDYA KNOW, that is exactly what we get here. However, once again, the insanity of the visuals and designs of the stages, enemies, and bosses present make the game wonderful to play, and aside from one or two issues that I have with the game as a whole (which you could probably guess), it was a really good time from start to finish.

The story is fairly simple, yet weird for a shmup like this, where the Great Octopus threatens to destroy Earth and all of the inhabitants that live on it, so it is up to Tako, the octopus from the last game, to set out to stop this from happening, right alongside his pals, Vic Viper, TwinBee, and Pentarou, which is pretty much exactly what I expected from the premise of one of these games, and I wouldn’t change it any other way. The graphics are wonderful, not only being very vibrant and colorful for most of the stages, but also having plenty of detailed, goofy, and insane designs for many of the enemies and bosses, which are quite bewildering to see in the best way possible, the music is just as weird as the visuals, with most of the songs either being remixes of classic Gradius tunes (I will never get tired of this track, no matter what game it appears in), but also zany remixes of classical music as well, which is oddly fitting for this game, and I ended up loving a lot of the tracks, and the gameplay/control has basically been imprinted into your brain to where you will automatically know what to do right from the get go, but you can play as a penguin flying in space that can get other penguins following him to shoot projectiles, which automatically makes this game a masterpiece.

The game is a horizontally scrolling shmup, where you take control of one of the weird and wonderful characters I mentioned earlier, each with their own unique movesets and configurations for the weapons, go through plenty of different stages through many varied and odd environments, shoot down every single living thing that you see on screen, because more than likely, that thing will try to kill you in one way or another, gather plenty of different power ups that you can equip and upgrade whenever you need to, or find bells that you can shoot to get different kinds of power ups that will give you plenty of different, temporary advantages, and take on plenty of silly and absurd, yet challenging bosses that will keep you on your toes, unless you have the laser ability with four options following you, in which case you can just blaze right through them in most instances. If you have experience with any other Gradius game released before this and since, you will know what to expect from this game, but if you love this style of gameplay like me, and you don’t mind a dash of weirdness sprinkled in there, then you will feel right at home when you play this title.

Like with the previous game, the main thing that makes this game stand out from all of the others is the odd selection of… things that you will be seeing throughout your journey, which a newcomer like me would look at and wonder what drug he took before he started playing this, while others may be used to this type of imagery and be completely fine with it. Most of the enemies you encounter will consist of penguins, along with plenty of other random animals like fish, crabs, hornets, and whatever else the game decides to pull out of its ass, like clowns that will shoot at you and lips that will shoot their own teeth at you. That’s not even getting into the bosses either, which are without a doubt both the most horrifying and wonderful aspects of this game, where you will encounter such creatures as a flying pirate ship with a cat head on the front, and eagle dressed like Uncle Sam, a puffer fish that will inflate to cover almost the entire screen while you shoot at it, a random sumo wrestler, and a giant naked woman covering herself with a sheet while deploying babies in bubbles to kill you. I can only imagine that this is all relatively tame compared to what other games in the series probably throw at the player, and I would question why the hell any of this is here, but at this point, I have just decided to accept the madness and ride along with it, and I end up having a lot of fun with that mindset.

Obviously, one of the things that holds this game back is that it is a Gradius game, so it does practically nothing to change up the gameplay or innovate on the genre as a whole, but that doesn’t matter so much to me in this case, given how fun the gameplay can still be, and how satisfying it us to fully upgrade yourself to where you can start to decimate everything around you. However, that in itself is a little hard to do, due to this game’s difficulty, because HOLY FUCK, they aren’t pulling punches this time around. I know, I know, I always say these games are hard, and that is never gonna change anytime soon, but I swear, this might just be the hardest Gradius game I have played so far. You need to have the reflexes of a god or the ability to slow down time in order to avoid some of the shit this game throws at you, and while you can get pretty lucky at some points, it almost never tones the difficulty down whatsoever, making it so that I died hundreds of times before I was able to finish it off. I have never seen so many dead penguins in one place before, and now that I have, I can say with great certainty that I don’t feel bad about killing that giant space octopus whatsoever.

Overall, despite a lack of change and the difficulty still managing to surprise me with just how unforgiving it can be, this is still yet another solid entry in this sub-series and franchise as a whole, providing the same fun and addicting experience that fans have come to love with this series, while also still providing enough weird and insane elements to where you wanna see it all out just to know what else the game will pull out of its ass by the end. I would definitely recommend it for fans of the Gradius series as a whole, as well as those who are big fans of other shmups or cute ‘em ups, because while this may not be as crazy or weird as others out there, it still managed to make me laugh and smile for most of the journey, and I’m sure the same can apply to many others as well. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go stare at the ceiling for like a good hour or so, just so that I can get all of the insanity out of my mind. Gotta be well-rested and prepared for the next time I try to play one of these games, y’know.

Game #551

For the longest time, I have had zero interest in Dungeons & Dragons as a whole. I have never played the main tabletop game before, nor have I seen or taken apart in any of its spin-off material, not because I think that it’s lame and bad (even though some of it probably is), but because it just doesn’t really look like something I would like all too much. It all looks like some of the most typical fantasy medieval shit you would ever see, which makes sense given how long it has been around, and as for the main tabletop game, it looks way too complicated to set up for my small nugget that I refer to as a brain. But hey, there’s gotta be a reason why the franchise has been going on for as long as it has, as well as why many still play the game and celebrate the series to this day, so I figured it was about time that I finally took a look at something D&D related so that I can slowly inch my way into becoming a fan of the series. Naturally, I figured the best way to do this would be with something very close to what I am familiar with, and that would be with Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom.

For those who are unaware, this is a D&D beat-’em-up arcade game that was made by Capcom in the mid-90’s, and it’s only just one of the many, MANY, MANY D&D games that have been released from the late 80’s all the way to today. I hadn’t known about this game for the longest time until a good couple of months ago, but I had some pretty high hopes going into it. After all, this was Capcom that we’re talking about, and they have had plenty of experience with making some great arcade beat-’em-ups in the past, even ones that have a similar setting and approach to gameplay like this one did. So, I played through the whole thing in one sitting, and yeah, it certainly did not disappoint. This is a really good beat-’em-up from the mid-90’s, one that does have some slight hiccups that make the journey somewhat sluggish and repetitious, but not enough to where you and three other friends wouldn’t be able to have a great time with it for an afternoon.

The story is pretty typical for that of a fantasy setting, where the land of Mystara is thrown into chaos by the evil Arch Lich Deimos and all of his evil minions from the Tower of Doom, with the Republic of Darokin having no chance of fighting back successfully, so it is up to four brave adventurers from separate parts of the land to join forces and take down the evil threat once and for all, which is as bland as you can expect, but it is clear that this game isn’t focusing too much on the story, so that doesn’t matter too much. The graphics are pretty great, having that shine of quality Capcom arcade games around this time typically had, while also having plenty of great designs for the stages, characters, enemies, and bosses that you will come across, the music is pretty good, feeling like the proper music you would imagine while going on a big adventure to complete a quest, even if none of it stood out to me as anything all too memorable or exciting, and the gameplay is what you would expect from a beat-’em-up of this style, but there are some changes to the formula and some mechanics introduced to make the experience more memorable.

The game is a hack and slash side-scrolling brawler, where you take control one of four different classes that best suits you and your play style, go through many different levels across the land of Mystara, fight against plenty of different fearsome beasts and foes using whatever weapon you have, as well as whatever additional weapons that you can find along the way, gather plenty of gold, potions, and additional firepower to help you out along the way, gain experience points from defeating enemies so that you can level up and get stronger, and take on plenty of fearsome bosses that will challenge you in plenty of ways, even making you think of different ways of defeating some foes. If you have played some of Capcom’s previous beat-’em-ups of this style like The King of Dragons of Knights of the Round, you’ll pretty much know what you are getting into here, but for what it is worth, not only is the gameplay still fun as a whole, but there are those changes I alluded to earlier that does make the game feel a little more special in its own way.

For starters, one of the things that I really appreciate about this game is that it does make you feel like you are going on this grand scale adventure to save this world from this big bad evil doer. There are a lot of points throughout the game where you will be given plenty of text boxes to read, detailing some of the events of the game and what the people of the world are going through, which you don’t typically see from beat-’em-ups at all, but for this game, it feels just right being here. On top of that, there will also be times where you will be approached by people to aid them with their troubles, and you can actually choose whether or not you want to go and help them clear out the monsters causing them harm, which, again, makes this feel like your own personal journey. Whether or not you want to help out is all up to you, which does feel like it would fall more in line with something you would see from D&D.

Aside from that, while the main gameplay remains pretty faithful to other games Capcom had made in the past, there are some differences here such as the use of secondary items. As you go about killing monsters and opening chests, you can find plenty of additional means of firepower like arrows, hammers, bottles of flammable oil and so on, as well as being able to buy them from the shops. You can use these as ranged weapons against your foes whenever you are in a bind, which does become pretty handy for some of the fights that you will get yourself into. Unfortunately, these items are limited, so you can’t fully rely on them to get the job done, but that does make it so that you have to strategize when it would be best to use some of these items, which is always nice when a game like this does that.

I can’t say that I did enjoy everything about my journey through Mystara though, because there are some elements that, again, do make the game feel sluggish and repetitive. Obviously, the game plays exactly like you would expect, but at least when it comes to the class I chose, the Fighter, it can feel somewhat clunky to move around and get hits on your opponents. Maybe that was the point of the character, since he is obviously a lot bigger and stronger than the others, but I dunno, I kinda prefer my fighters to be a little more agile than this. This only applies to the Fighter though, as the other ones most likely do play somewhat differently compared to him. What doesn’t change between all of the characters, however, is how you go about getting items. In order to get items that enemies or chests drop, you have to walk over to them and press a button to pick them up, which is pretty standard for a beat-’em-up, but considering the sheer amount of items some enemies can drop, you can be spending a good majority of this game just positioning yourself over items and picking them up, which does get pretty tiring. I would’ve preferred it if they just made it so that you just walk over the items to get them, but that would probably interfere with co-op gameplay a little bit, so I don’t know. Just wish it didn’t take up too much time.

Overall, despite some annoyances with how some characters play and how you pick up items, Tower of Doom is still a great beat-’em-up and a great D&D game as a whole, being simple enough to where any fan can easily jump into it with friends and have a blast, while also introducing new elements you don’t typically see in these games to make playing through them feel fresh and exciting. I would recommend it for those who are big D&D fans, as well as those who are just big fans of beat-’em-ups, because while it isn’t anything too original or exciting, with the right group of friends to tag along, I’m sure you all could have a great time together slaying monsters and saving this land… just like in a regular D&D game, I’d assume. Although, with all that out of the way, now that I have covered one D&D game, I guess that means I am gonna have to cover all of the other ones at some point….. and there’s gotta be at least 50 of these things too…………. I have made a huge mistake.

Game #550

So far for the duration of time that I have been on this website, I have talked about a handful of the good Sonic games, some of them that many consider to be some of the greatest of all time not just in the series, but of all time. Even if I haven’t been extremely positive about a particular game in this series so far, it hasn’t really been too negative either, just more so indifferent about the kind of game that it was (cough, Spinball, cough). But you know what, I think it is about time that I stop being nice to this spikey cracked-out rat, and it’s finally time I start being mean to him and his series. It was only inevitable, because as many Sonic fans know, for all of the good Sonic games that were available from this series, there are five more shitty ones just around the corner. However, I don’t feel like picking on one of the obvious targets like Sonic Drift or Sonic Labyrinth… not right now, anyway. Instead, I wanna go after another forgotten title in the series that most Sonic fans aren’t aware of: SegaSonic the Hedgehog.

This was a Sonic game that was released pretty early in the series’ lifespan exclusively in Japan for the arcades, and one that I have been wanting to try out for a very long time. I do remember playing on the actual machine of the game at one point whenever I went to the Galloping Ghost Arcade (which by the way, if you haven’t been there, do yourself a favor and go there ASAP, because it is the best modern arcade I have ever been to. Tell them that Mega sent ya), and from what I remembered, I liked it enough, even if I was annoyed by some certain aspects about the game. It has been a long time since I played it there, so I decided to check it out on the Mame emulator, and once I did play it, I came to a very stunning revelation… it fucking sucks! Granted, there are plenty of admirable qualities that the game has, and I do like a lot of the things it is trying out, but it manages to trip and fall right on its face when it comes to its execution, and becomes an annoying chore to sit through.

The story is pretty damn average, where Dr. Robotnik kidnaps not only Sonic, but also newcomers Mighty the Armadillo and Ray the Flying Squirrel, and entraps them on an island, so it is up to the three of them to escape before Robotnik can take them out, which is a fine enough premise that I can get behind, because from everything else the game has, the story would be the least of my concern. The graphics are really damn good, having plenty of cartoony and wonderful animations for all of the characters, accompanied by wonderful environments, which make the game much more fun to look at then play, the music is pretty good, having plenty of great tracks for all of the levels, which also made the game much more fun to listen to then to play, the control is… well, I’ll get into that later, and the gameplay is somewhat inventive for the series, and I do like what they try with it, but not only could it have been done a lot better, but… sigh, goddammit…

The game is a 3D platformer of some kind, where you take control of either Sonic, Mighty, or Ray, go through a set of seven treacherous, yet very short levels, run through at the speed of sound while avoiding certain death at every turn from gaps, obstacles, or otherwise, jump around and break things when you need to so you can proceed forward and avoid death, and stop playing the game, go find a cabinet of Sonic the Fighters, and play that instead so that you can enjoy life. For what we got here, again, a lot of it is very interesting on paper, and I do like a lot of the things that are going on here, but the way that it was presented makes it way more frustrating to play then anything else, and by the end of the game, I was giving Sonic and co. the middle finger in response to their collective thumbs up.

I wouldn’t even necessarily call this game a “platformer” per se, even if there are platforming elements seen throughout, because it is more so a long, multi-segmented obstacle course. For every single level, you will primarily just be running down a bunch of long paths, avoiding whatever obstacles come your way, grab whatever rings you can, and hoping to reach the end. There are no enemies to fight, no bosses to take on, no additional collectables or power-ups to get, nothing. It is just one straight shot from the start to the end, and hey, that can be pretty fun at times. The constant energy the game gives off really does make going through some of these much more enjoyable, which is also helped by the colorful graphics, animations, and the new characters Mighty and Ray, who were pretty neat to finally see in action…. you know, before they would be thrown into the vault for the foreseeable future, only being let back out on a few occasions.

However, then you actually try playing the game for yourself, and you find it is an aggravating trainwreck for most of the journey. For most of the game, you are constantly being chased or hounded by something, whether it be falling spikes from the ceiling, a wave of lava, a falling bridge or whatever, so you have to constantly keep running forward at all times, which is pretty hard to do considering all the different traps and obstacles that you only have a split-second to avoid, and needless to say, you won’t be avoiding most of them. A lot of the problems with the obstacles can be attributed to the game itself most of the time, but then this gets into the one thing that is probably the game’s biggest setback… the control.

Unlike most Sonic games, this game uses a trackball controller, where you will be constantly spinning the ball around to make Sonic and co. go in a specific direction, while also having a separate button to use to jump, and once again, in theory, this COULD work… but then you think about it more and see it in action, and you find out that isn’t necessarily the case. Given how fast Sonic is, you will be zipping around the areas you go through so goddamn much, and given how most of these areas have pits everywhere, you will have a hard time keeping track of yourself most of the time without falling off a ledge, especially in some of the later levels with very precarious bits. Of course, a lot of that is attributed to me using the arrow keys to control this game, but even back when I was playing this in the arcade, I remember struggling with it, since Sonic himself is a little too fast, and also, may I remind you, you have to CONSTANTLY be moving because something will always be hounding your ass!

Overall, despite the wonderful presentation and charm that is oozing out of every corner of this game, when you go to play it yourself, it then proves that under that lovely coat of paint is something that is just unbearably annoying, having very little variety in what you do throughout all the stages, being unforgiving with many of its obstacles, and having a control scheme that just doesn’t work out in the player’s favor. I would only recommend this for those of you who are huge Sonic fans, and you haven’t had the chance to play it for yourself, because if you haven’t, then by all means, give it a shot. You may just end up loving it, but as for me, I would much rather watch it then play it ever again. Also, what kind of name is SegaSonic the Hedgehog, anyway? We all know that Sega made Sonic, you don’t need to remind us of that. What’s next, are they gonna make SegaShinobi, or SegaChuChu Rocket, or SegaHouse of the Dead?......... also, rip Mighty and Ray, because they are probably never gonna be coming back after Sonic Mania Plus.

Game #549

With the release of Star Fox back in 1993, Nintendo had proved to the world just what the Super Nintendo was truly capable of, bringing advanced 3D graphics to the console scene where their competition couldn’t, and it definitely paid off in the end. Sure, the game may look extremely primitive by today’s standards, but it was revolutionary for its time, and it managed to sell 4 million copies by 1998, so based on this success, it was clear that not only did Star Fox have a bright future ahead (or so they thought), but so did the Super FX chip. Plenty of devs would then use this chip to develop more games for the system, including Nintendo themselves, who would use it to develop another beloved classic from the SNES’s library… which we will talk about later, but for now, let’s do Stunt Race FX.

I have known about this title for quite a while now, but I haven’t really had any interest in playing it for myself. It looked fine enough from what I have seen on the cover of the game and some short gameplay clips here or there, but it just looked like “the SNES 3D racer” and nothing more, giving me no reason to play it over others. But hey, why not, it can’t be that bad right? I have had good experiences with these experimental titles from Nintendo on this system before, so this one can’t be that much of a downgrade from what we got before. So, I went ahead and played it for a good while, and I did actually end up liking it a lot. I wouldn’t say it is anything revolutionary, or even that much better than other racers on the system, but for what it sets out to do, it does a fine enough job, and I am glad to say that I finally got it out of the way.

The graphics hold the same level of quality as Star Fox did, and by that, I mean it is polygonal as shit and extremely primitive, but once again, it is really impressive for the SNES, and a lot is happening at once to where it is visually interesting to look at at times, the music is pretty good, having some enjoyable tracks that get you in the mood to be racing, but I couldn’t really pay too much attention to that when I am trying to steer this bathtub on wheels, the control works out well for the most part, but of course, given the graphics and the kind of game this is, it can get pretty frustrating to control in plenty of areas, and the gameplay is extremely typical, just being your average racing game… but in 3D!.......... even though that had already been done at this point, but shhhhhhhhhhhh.

The game is your typical racer, where you take control of one of three-four vehicles to race on the track with, each one with their own specifications and stats in terms of speed and durability, race along plenty of different prix and courses across plenty of environments, make sure to stay on the track while maintaining first place against your other competitors, gather several power-ups that can either give you a speed boost or help fix any damage that has been done to your car, and check out plenty of the other modes available, such as obstacle courses, a time attack mode, multiplayer modes, and the bonus stages that will make you tear your hair out. A lot of this is pretty standard for a racing game of this time, but once again, the main difference between this and all the other ones is that it is using ambitious 3D technology, and for the most part it works… well enough, and I had fun with it, despite how rough around the edges it is.

Unlike a lot of racers, where they are all about going fast and making quick turns to make sure that you can reach the goal before any of your opponents, this one takes things a little slower, not just because of the graphics are the frame rate, but also by having cars that feel much heavier to drive around with. This can even be seen whenever you collide with something, as the cars’ parts will jitter around all over the place, with you flopping about like a fish before you can get back on track and into the race again. Some may see this as a downgrade from other racers, and I can completely understand why, but for what it is worth, I think it works well enough for this kind of game. I can’t even imagine what playing this game would feel like if all of the cars were meant to go as fast as cars in other racing games go. It would probably feel like an absolute nightmare to try to get a handle on. Not to mention, this game gives the player plenty of things to do despite how simple its set-up is, so if you end up really liking what you get here, then the game will keep you busy with quite some time with all of the other modes and tracks that you can race on, each featuring plenty of detail and fun inclusions that spice the gameplay up.

Of course, with all that being said, this game leaves a lot to be desired in terms of a 3D racer, even at this point in time. At this point, we have had Virtua Racing, Ridge Racer 1/2, Daytona USA, and even by the end of the year, games like Sega Rally Championship and Cruis’n USA would be released, all of which manage to be great early 3D racers that don’t need to sacrifice speed in order to maintain proper gameplay. Sure, this one has the benefit of being able to be played at home, but not only could it be doing a lot better to keep one’s attention for much longer, but there were also much better racers on the console to check out like F-Zero or Super Mario Kart, making one question why they would bother playing this over others.

Not to mention, while most of the game works well enough to where I didn’t have too many problems with it, the turning on the tracks can definitely give you a hard time, especially when you are taking control of specific vehicles. One instance I had that was really hard to get a proper handle on is with the bonus stages in the prix, where your car would go inside this trailer truck, and you would have to drive it through all of these gates, and let me tell you, trying to turn with this thing is beyond impossible if you are hoping to have a smooth and clean turn. They were trying to make it so that the turning on this thing was as realistic as possible, which I guess I can appreciate for a game like this, but considering that this is the same game where all of the cars have goofy-ass eyes on them, I’m clearly not playing this for realism, and I would just like to have a much smoother race.

Overall, despite there being many better options out there and having the turning be a pain in the ass in plenty of moments, for being the first racing game to take use of the Super FX chip, Stunt Race FX did a pretty decent job with what it had, providing plenty of enjoyable races, modes to try out, and yet another showcase of what this console can really do, and while it certainly doesn’t reach the same levels of other racers that came before and since in terms of quality, it still does a good job with what it has. I would recommend it for those who are big racing fanatics, as well as those who like the more experimental titles on the SNES when it comes to presentation, but for everyone else, again, I would stick with any of those other titles I mentioned earlier before playing this. But hey, I guess if anything, the game is much more memorable than other racing games that used the Super FX chip, like Dirt Racer or Dirt Trax FX. Yeah, bet you don’t know what either of those games are, don’tcha? Don’t feel bad, I didn’t either until I looked it up 2 minutes ago.

Game #548

Like with After Burner, I had practically forgotten about the Space Harrier series shortly after I had checked out the original game, which is a shame too, because I had a great time with that game when I played it. The game itself wasn’t all that complex or interesting, and it was pretty short, but like with After Burner, it kept things exciting with its blinding speeds and constant action, fun gameplay, and challenging scenarios which were pretty satisfying to overcome. It’s too bad there weren’t too many other games in this series that were released after the original, but there were a few, so I figured it’s about time I got to playing another one by completely ignoring the weird 3D one and moving straight onto Space Harrier II.

Unlike the original Space Harrier, this one was originally released exclusively for the Sega Genesis, made to be one of the launch titles released for the system right alongside others like The Revenge of Shinobi and Altered Beast, and when you learn that little tidbit of info about the game, you can pretty much figure out what you are getting into with this game. While a good number of these launch titles were original games, games like Golden Axe and Ghouls ‘n Ghosts were pretty much just home console versions of their arcade counterparts, so in many ways, Space Harrier II is essentially an at home version of the original game. It does feature some new elements, some that improved upon some small issues that the original had, but it is pretty much just the original game, except worse, to the point where I can only say it is ok and nothing more.

The story is as basic as sequels get, where Harrier gets a distress call from the 214th sector of space, and when he goes to investigate, he finds that Fantasy Land is being taken over by evil creatures once again, so it is to him to set off on his own to take them all out, which is an alright story, not doing anything new or exciting from the original, but it is a sequel to an arcade game, so I would’ve expected nothing less. The graphics are pretty good for a launch title, looking close enough to the arcade game’s graphics, but with an obvious downgrade in terms of both the animations and general visuals, the music is pretty good, having plenty of good tracks to listen to while blasting robots in the face, but nothing that leapt into my ear and decided to stay there for the rest of the day, and the gameplay/control is identical to that of the original, to the point where you wouldn’t be blamed if you just mistook this game for being a downgraded port of the original.

The game is a 3D rail shooter, where you take control of Harrier, go through thirteen stages through various very-similar lands full of dangerous baddies, dodge plenty of obstacles and enemy fire as you are flying forward at the speed of sound, shoot down as many things as you can, living or otherwise, while watching that score of yours soar higher than you ever thought it could possibly go, and take on plenty of bosses that have such mind-boggling tactics to beat such as shooting them in the face and… waiting a bit, and then shooting them in the face. Any veteran Space Harrier players (all two of you) will be all too familiar with this gameplay style, and be able to jump into it all too well, even if it will most likely make them just want to go back to the original game.

When this game is practically identical to the original, I mean it, as if you take a look at both of them side by side, you can barely tell them apart. This isn’t limited to just the visuals either, because nothing is changed about the gameplay at all, which can be good for those who just want a version of Space Harrier they can play at home without needing some 3D glasses, but it could be disappointing for those wanting some more out of the sequel. But hey, to the game’s credit, it doesn’t feel like a complete repeat, because it does improve on one aspect of the original game: the bosses. There were a good handful of bosses to take on in that original game, but a lot of them were repeated throughout the game, making them not as exciting to get to and take on. Thankfully though, with this game, not only are most of the bosses unique from each other, but a good handful of them do incorporate some challenging scenarios to overcome, which I did enjoy taking down. There is only one boss in the game that you have to take on again (aside from something I will mention in a second), which I am pretty grateful for, and thankfully, the boss that does get repeated is simple enough, so it doesn’t take too long to get through that.

If that doesn’t interest you at all, then I wouldn’t say anything else about this game will. Not only is it basically a worse version of the previous game, but it still has all of the same problems the original game had, such as being extremely repetitive and how the last stage is just a boss rush, even though there REALLY didn’t need to be one. Also, one other thing that did get on my nerves quite a bit with this game in particular is with the frame rate. I’m not the kind of guy that really tends to complain about frame rates in games unless the downgrade is pretty noticeable, and you can definitely see that with this game, as it is chugging along the most of the time, unable to handle a lot of what is going on on screen at once. Obviously, this was gonna be the case no matter what, given the limitations of the Genesis, but it is still something to point out just in case you wanna try this game for yourself.

Overall, despite having more boss variety and keeping the fun gameplay in-tact, Space Harrier II is pretty much a nothing sequel, doing nothing to make itself stand out as better or more original compared to its predecessor, and giving you no reason to check it out when the original is already accessible and readily available for people to play. I could only recommend it for those who LOVE the original game, and just want nothing more then just to play more of it, but for everyone else, you are much better off just playing the first one only, and nothing else from there. It’s no wonder why this series never managed to continue after the second game, only to be brought back for some obscure arcade spin-off game after a decade of nothing…………… although, now that I think about it, if there ever was a modern-day reimagining or remake of the original Space Harrier, that would be pretty cool. I’d be all over that shit, so Sega, if you are looking to revive any more of your dormant IPs, this one is just begging for another chance.

Game #547

For being pretty much the only wrestling game they would ever make, Capcom did a pretty great job with what we got from Saturday Night Slam Masters, providing plenty of possibilities for fights against many formidable opponents, fun moves to pull off, seamlessly implementing some fighter mechanics to make it more engaging, and having the feeling of being a proper wrestling game with the inclusion of items to use and intros for each individual character at the start of a match. The game was really good all around, and it would’ve been cool to see a proper followup to it at some point, expanding on the characters’ movesets, the type of rings you could enter, and possibly raising the stakes with new characters and story elements introduced…………… that would not happen though, and instead, we would get Ring of Destruction: Slam Masters II.

Despite being a wrestling game at its core, the original Slam Masters game did implement enough fighting game elements to where, when the time came to develop a sequel, I guess Capcom was just nervously twitching around, like a drug addict who needed their fix, and just exclaimed to themselves “FUCK IT!”. Thus, what we got out of this sequel was just your typical Capcom fighting game, still being themed around wrestlers and containing several wrestling techniques, while focusing on the one-and-one aspect above all else. That kinda sucks, but at the same time, this was a Capcom fighter from the mid-90s, and thus, it turned out to be pretty damn good, not quite on the same level as some of their other releases around the time, but still great enough to where anyone could go in and have a great time battling it out with friends.

The graphics are very similar to that of the original game, still being lively, having wonderful designs for all the characters and stages, while also having plenty of over-the-top animations for all of them, which is great to see, the music is still effective in getting you in the mood to perform a piledriver on any poor fool that dares to challenge you, and plenty of the tracks are great to listen to whenever they pop up, the control is greatly improved upon here, feeling a lot more smooth and responsive, which makes sense given the company is more suited to this genre, and the gameplay is… exactly like any other one-on-one Capcom fighter, so you know pretty much what you are going to get out of a game like this.

The game is a 2D fighting game, where you take control of one of the ten fighters from the original game, as well as any of the newcomers introduced here, or if you are me, you still just pick Mike Haggar anyway above anyone else, take on plenty of opponents in rings from all across the world, throw out plenty of punches, kicks, and special moves to deplete your opponents’ two health bars down to nothing, perform several wrestling moves during the fights just to remind you that this is supposed to be a wrestling series, and bask in your glorious victory as you prove to everyone else that you are the slammiest master of slam masters. Any Capcom fighting veteran would be able to jump into this with no problems, and for those who were big fans of the original game, while this is quite different from that previous title, you should be able to adjust to this new style pretty quickly and have a great time with it all the same.

While it is a fighting game at its core, the game still manages to keep the wrestling motif front and center, with all the characters being wrestlers of some kind, all of the fights taking place inside of a ring, and with the many different wrestling moves, throws, and techniques that you can pull off. It isn’t much compared to what you could do in the previous game, but hey, it is still there, and they can help change up the tide of a fight and add a little pizzazz into your typical match. Not only that, but unlike the original game, the characters in this game actual have some notable differences between each other, especially with some of the newcomers. For example, there is Rip Saber, a wrestler who is rocking a military theme, complete with military maneuvers and throwing grenades as part of their moveset, and then there is also The Wraith, who is pretty much a zombie-grim-reaper-wrestler-thing, with plenty of spooky techniques to accompany him. It is a little ridiculous when you compare it to the previous game, but since it all takes place in the Street Fighter universe, it all makes complete sense to me.

Despite all of that though, at the end of the day, this is still yet another Capcom 2D fighter, and it plays exactly like you have seen plenty of times before. It still manages to be fast and fun, especially with some friends to fight with, but there isn’t anything else to make this stand out or be more preferable from other options like Street Fighter II or its many, MANY different variations. Not to mention, if you were a die-hard fan of the original game, like it was one of your favorites of all time, then you definitely aren’t gonna like this game. Yeah, it still does have the wrestling theme and several of the moves, but it is a fighting game more than anything else, so it will probably be pretty disappointing for those hardcore wrestling fanatics.

Overall, despite not doing anything too special and completely abandoning the gameplay of the previous title, Ring of Destruction still lives up as a pretty good fighter, one that has plenty of fun with the wrestling motif while still providing the fun, fast-paced and addicting nature that you would find in any of Capcom’s other fighters from around that point. I would recommend it for those who are big fans of Capcom’s other fighters, as well as those who just need another thing to play with friends, because while it doesn’t stand on its own like the original game, you could certainly do a lot worse then what we got here. Too bad though that, after this game, we would never get another Slam Masters game again, and the series would forever be thrown into the realms of obscurity. But hey, the original game would at least get plenty of re-releases overtime………….. while this one would forever be stuck in the arcades. Way to go, guys.

Game #546

The original Athena game was, without a doubt, the absolute worst game that I had ever played from SNK so far. I could admire some things that it tried doing, such as having plenty of neat items and upgrades to find that encouraged exploration, as well as the fact that the game didn’t take itself too seriously given the story, but all of that couldn’t distract me from how horribly the game controlled, how relentless it was right from the start, how awkward it felt to do anything aside from walking to the right, and giving you little chance to do anything to defend yourself from the start before you are ambushed by all the enemies that are thrown at you. I don’t understand how anyone could release a game like that and say it was good and ready to go back in the day, or even how they thought that following the game up with a sequel would be a good idea, but nonetheless, we got one just one year later in the form of Psycho Soldier.

Naturally, I wasn’t looking forward to checking out this game whatsoever. The original game had already left such a bad taste in my mouth after the short time I had experienced with it, and given SNK’s pattern with sequels, I assumed this was gonna change practically nothing about the formula, and it would end up being yet another complete mess of a game. However, in the biggest plot twist of the 20th century, Psycho Soldier actually turned out to be a MASSIVE improvement over the original game in just about every way. I wouldn’t say that it is anything more than just simply being good, and it also has its fair share of issues that did get in the way of how much fun I was having, but needless to say, I would choose to play this game over the original Athena title any day of the week.

The story is a bit more generic than that of the previous game, where suddenly out of nowhere, evil creatures from the land of Shiguma appear on Earth, Japan specifically, and start terrorizing its many citizens and destroying everything in sight, so it is up to Athena Asamiya, a descendent of the Athena from the previous game, to team up with her friend Sie Kensou to take out the villainous scourge using their psychic powers, which is a basic enough set up, and it works well enough for what this game is. The graphics are very similar to that of the original game, but it does look a lot more appealing, both in terms of the environments you travel through and the designs of the characters, enemies, and bosses, the music is good, having plenty of enjoyable tracks, and even one that has someone singing what I can only assume is the theme song of the game… with the singing being incredibly compressed and amateur as shit, but hey, A for effort I guess, the control is much better here, with you having plenty of control over what you are doing and all of your actions feeling just right, and the gameplay is also a major improvement, mixing things up to where it isn’t as ambitious as its predecessor, but this style is executed much better here, which I prefer as a whole.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of either Athena or Sie, go through a set of six very similar stages through several different environments, jump in-between each lane and take out the many enemies that you will find along your journey to prevent them from getting an upper hand on you, get plenty of different power ups, weapons, and special items to help you out along your journey, and take on several different bosses or enemy gauntlets that range from being relatively manageable to the exact kind of difficulty that you would expect from an arcade game. In most aspects, it is your typical arcade platformer, but that is a step up from the last game, which was an abnormal arcade platformer, so I will take it at this point.

If I were to make any comparison of this game to something I have already reviewed in the past, I would say that it is a more flashy version of SonSon from Capcom. The game will constantly be scrolling from left to right, and you will need to hop up and down between four different rows to not only take out enemies, but also to get the various different power ups in the game. This definitely isn’t the kind of platformer I like to play, but for the most part, this kind of approach works, and you can cover a lot of ground in these levels before the screen forcibly pushes you to your next destination. In addition, the weapons and power ups that you get while playing this game are pretty fun to mess around with. From the start, you are equipped with a lightning laser shot that can be upgraded to get bigger and do more damage, as well as these spinning orbs that will surround you whenever you are on the ground. Not only do these act as a shield from incoming projectiles, which really helps in plenty of cases, but you can also throw them at enemies to do more damage and to break blocks quicker, making some sections a breeze when you are caught in a jiff.

In terms of actual new weapons that you can get, the sword makes a return from the previous game, and it is a lot more useful this time, because not only can you use it to slash your way through enemies, but it also helps break a lot of the bricks in the level much faster, allowing you to find more items and to get a move on in the stage. But none of that compares to the best power up that you can get in the whole game, where if your energy bar is full and you find a big green egg in the level, you can turn into a whole ass phoenix, able to fly all around the stage and set your enemies ablaze with your fire breath. Unfortunately, this form is temporary, as it does go away upon beating the stage you are currently in, or if you get hit too many times, but it is still fun to just decimate everything in your way with this transformation.

Naturally though, since this is an Athena game we are talking about here, it has several issues that I was not that big of a fan of. Arcade syndrome is present in this title, and while things start out pretty smoothly, and you can build up plenty of support to protect yourself, by the last couple of levels, there will be enemies and projectiles flying around everywhere at you, to where it feels impossible to beat the game without at least a couple of credits on stand by, which does kinda suck. That’s not the only aspect of difficulty in this game though, as while the scrolling of the stage is slow enough to where you won’t feel like you constantly have to hold down the right stick to not die, there can be plenty of instances where you will get ambushed by an enemy or so in a corner, and due to the fact the screen is constantly moving, you have no choice but to die just to get a move on, and that shit always blows, no matter what kind of game it comes from.

And finally, while there are plenty of power ups that do help you out and make you stronger, there are also several power downs, taking away whatever you got for yourself and leaving you extremely vulnerable. There will be these red beams with skulls on them that will drain all of the energy from your meter, not only making you less stronger, but also giving you very little chance to transform into your phoenix form or get better equipment, which especially sucks when you don’t see it coming until it is too late. That doesn’t even compare to the worst power down, the golden skull, which upon contact takes away EVERYTHING from your arsenal. Your sword, your orbs, your upgrades, all of it: gone. It is absolutely painful to run into one of these, especially in some instances where, again, you don’t see it coming until it is too late, and you end up feeling like a chump as a result.

Overall, despite the difficulty in certain areas, the power downs, and the scrolling getting in the way of your enjoyment at times, Psycho Soldier was still a good game that I am glad that I checked out, excelling in every area that Athena fumbled in through several means, and providing you with a fun and engaging time that I would say is worth checking out for a good while or so before moving onto something else. I would recommend it not only for those who liked the original Athena, but also for those who HATED that game as well, because while this isn’t a masterpiece by any means, it does still manage to be more competent and enjoyable then that piece of shit ever managed to be. It’s too bad though that, after this game, we would never see any hint of a third game in the Athena series ever again………….. until 12 years later, that is. Because I guess the demand for another one of these games was just too high at that point, clearly.

Game #545