The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List

Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.

(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)

I'll say this much it perfectly encapsulates my feelings on the current run of the show. It's boring, forgettable, and it looks like ass.
If I had a nickle for every bad handheld that was a tie in for a former SNL star's mediocre comedy I'd have 2 nickles, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.
As a Muppets super fan I wished this could have been better, but it still has that Muppet charm I crave.
It's literally the same game as the Austin Power one but instead of it being Austin Power themed it's Dr. Evil themed, which makes it 10 times better by default.
I haven't played a DnD session that didn't end in pure chaos, but at least I had fun in those game. There is very little fun here outside of the basic ass AAA live services crap.
This felt like one of those old PS2 games you'd play on an old dusty fat PS2 at a rundown daycare behind a supermarket. Yes that did sound super specific and no I didn't play this game growing up.
How come a game based on one of my favorite TV shows has to be one of the worst games I've ever played. I mean come on man give me a break.
I wanna find the weirdo at Rockstar who thought it would be a good idea to make a whole GBC game that's just a simulated Austin Powers desktop. Mostly so I can give them like a billion dollars and let their imagination run wild.
When I was still in school I spent a lot of money on this game. One day my grandmother asked me what I was spending all of my money and not saving it, I then thought about it and I had to ask myself "is this really worth it", I then spent around 10 more dollars on this game and it continued like this for another 5 months until I got bored with the game and moved on to something else.
I deeply hate past STRM so much.
I don’t know why I even bothered playing this but I saw a screenshot with fat fuck gomez platforming and I just had to play it for shits and giggles; I ended up getting so bored with thet I nearly fell asleep playing it, which is kinda strange because unlike movies I’m constantly using a controller so idk how the hell that happened.
It has a bit of the feel the comics had, but literally everything else is pure bottom of the barrel tier smegma.
actually broken to the point where I couldn't finish the game.
I mean it was free so it's not like complaining about how bare bones it is but it was still super bare bones.
It's the best of the 3 TMNT fighting games but I've never really been that big of a fan of these games so It didn't really click with me.
It's a pretty decent 2d beat-em-up, I'd mainly recommend this If you're a really huge Kevin Smith fan since you're gonna get more out of this than anyone else.
A super empty open-world game that is somehow more empty than a Ubisoft game.
Mario Party but boring and unfun.
the scream sound effect is honest to god one of the worst things I've ever had the displeasure to hear through my ear holes.
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
Quite possibly the most boring game I've ever played in my entire life.
Its an actually decent license NES game, plus it doubles as a good creepypasta too which if I'm honest is a little more impressive.
I'm 100% sure whenever the press asked the development team about the game's "quality" their stock answer would be "Well the Three Stooges themselves made the game".
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.
I swear if I hear the word Smurf one more god damn time I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
Where's my money Dominos?
It takes the best parts of what Resistance did and adds a lot more fast-paced action scenes, along with much better voiced characters. it's somewhat short; only lasting around 4 to 5 hours, but it's the best 4 to 5 hours this game has to offer.
I still to this day don't know how this game even works, and after 6 years I'm gonna blame the game on this one rather than my own incompetence.
I spent the very little time I have left on this earth playing this game.

Idk why I did this but oh well
Somehow the ET mini-game in this is worse than the actual ET game.
An experience I would never put my worst enemy through.
This is a declaration of war to all Pepsi drinkers, the Coke Army thinks we’re weak but we will not take this atrocity lying down. I will take it upon myself to do the most righteous and forthcoming plan I’ve ever conceived. Breaking into people's houses at night and replacing all of their Coke with Pepsi by opening each individual can and bottle; dump it all out and replace it with Pepsi and then factory reseal them with Pepsi; that way they can finally realize the taste of pepsi and coke are so different that the label doesn't matter and they’ll go right into out pepsi loving arms. This normally will take a night (or two) but with the help of volunteers we can push back the influence of the Red Menace and make the world a peace loving Pepsi Utopia.
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃
They took the literal concept of the game and slapped it onto a SNES cartridge.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.

Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.
A pretty basic text-based adventure game with little bits of Doctor Who charm sprinkled in.
Honestly the game is so basic I can't even come up with a witty joke for it.
Dear Mom and Dad. I no longer fear hell, because I've finished Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
It took everything from the last Horse Adventures game and just made it worse. Who in their right minds thought it'd be a good idea to have the game be an open world with a camera this horrible.
No wonder the Barbie Horse Adventures series is dead.
I acually honest to god finished this game in less than 30 minutes and I wasn't even trying that much.
It's just like any other Atari game released near the crash, forgettable.
From the same studio that made GTA 5, Bully, and RDR2. No I'm not joking look it up.
The epitome of souless, greedy, thoughtless art.
I don't think I've ever understood the point of hooters so I was kinda hoping this game would enlighten me on only men in their late 30s and early 40s seem to flock there in droves while objectifying the waitresses in the process.
I learned nothing and I'm still perplexed.
It's a pretty mediocre GB platformer. Barbies hitbox is way too big and the game is too floaty.
Cooking Mama if you have a degradation fetish.
Slow and boring, just the way I hate em.
I expected worse from you The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.
So now you've taken this 2D fighter/platformer and you've turned it into a top-down military strategy RPG with a slot machine instead of normal attacks, and it's really confusing and convoluted. Like I tracked the manual for this game down, and I still didn't understand how to play this game.
It's a super cheap feeling racing game, if I were a kid I'd probably liked it but still I feel like kids nowadays deserve better.
You're basic Wii shovelware slock, I'm still baffled at the mere existence of this as a game.

3 Comments


BFBB should be higher and where is Hit and Run

2 years ago

sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao


Last updated: