The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List

Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.

(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)

Get away from me you slave owner, your chicken sucks.
I still stand by my statement "Besides the handful of memorable titles on the system almost every NES game is either bad or woefully outdated", and this game has continued to prove me right.
From what I've played it's the best of the 3 TMNT GB games but honestly that's not saying a lot considering this is still GB.
I feel like the best way to look at this is to look at it in two ways. As a game itself, its gameplay loop is really repetitive, there is very little content for the at the time 60 dollar asking price, and the Kaiju's are very sluggish and hard to use.

With all of that being said you can also look at it as a Godzilla fan. The models for the Kaijus look really good, the destruction looks fantastic, and all the sparks coming off the explosions look great; like it was ripped right out of the movies. The sound effects and music are also really good, all of it is ripped right from the movies so everything fits perfectly.

Really if you are a die-hard Godzilla fan you'll be able to look beyond the slow and clunky movement and janky combat to have a fun if a little repetitive Godzilla game.

If you've only seen a handful of Godzilla movie, and most of them being the recent Legendary Pictures movies, then stay the hell away from this because you'll probably hate it. Then again this game is stupidly hard to find so honestly; you'll probably be fine.
This is hands down the best of the Super Star Wars games. Its level design is the perfect blend of challenging and rewarding, its gameplay is finely tuned to a T, its superFX chip missions are the best (with the exception of the Endor speeder bikes mission that one just sucks), and oh my god; this is honestly one of the best looking SNES games I've ever seen, the fight with the Rancor looks amazing not even just for SNES standers.
Is the game still ball bustly hard- yeah a little
Does the first level still the worst level of the game- once again yeah it is.
Regardless If you were to ask me which one to get into I'd say start with this one.
On paper, this could have been a fun game but in execution it's super janky and bad. Really the most memorable thing about this game is that one time Doug Walker played it and got shit for being bad at a bad game.
Irwin truly is the strongest character in fiction.
It's the best of the 3 TMNT fighting games but I've never really been that big of a fan of these games so It didn't really click with me.
It's the best of the NES TMNT games but my main problem is that it's still a beaten-up game on NES, most NES games have not aged very well and this one has also aged quite a bit.
If I saw this man on the street and snuck up to me and gave me a sandwich I'd punch in the throat out of pure instinct.
Pretty whatever short kid game, it looked pretty nice for a cheap digital game but that's about all I can really say about it.
Trying to play this in 8K is one of my most cherished moments with friends, other than that it's just a whatever kids game.
It's not Ice Age 2: The Meltdown................................... yeah nope that's it.
That jellyfish fields theme has hunted my childhood, and it's still there taunting me.
I see no reason why a short McDonald's tie in game should be as good as it is. I mean it's not perfect or even anything to right home about; besides the music being pretty alright and some genuinely good level design for it's era it's far too easy and I felt like there was a little too much going on visually at times so where I started getting a headache. I think having the novelty of playing a McDonald's video game that isn't a horrible slap dashed togather waste of time is enough for me to say it's at least worth a look but other then that it's really nothing special.
Great first season to TellTales great run with the characters.
Bad skateboarding games are like bad friends, everyone has one and they always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
One of the most boring VR games I've played. It has a fun novelty but it wears off very quickly.
As someone who champions Futurama as “better than The Simpsons” this is the most disappointing I’ve felt in a good while. Now did I expect this game to be great, no; this was a game released less then a month after the show’s first cancellation and as a game itself it feels like a rushed job with the writers not really understanding what writing a video game is like. The cutscenes are really funny and are the highlight of the game but after their done you get to play one of the strangest 3D platformers I’ve ever played, this game is really hard for me to talk about all I can really say is it’s one of those play it for yourself type shitty games; where the controls are both slippery and stiff, and the jumping is both heavy and floaty while also being generally unresponsive.
If you for some reason actually wanna play this game just watch the cutscenes online, it’ll be a more fun experience then playing through this. (at least the Zoidberg Crash Hog riding rip-off level was decent)
My boy Jason deserves better than this.
How come a game based on one of my favorite TV shows has to be one of the worst games I've ever played. I mean come on man give me a break.

Up

UP yours John Lasseter.
look son I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed that's all.
I've always preferred this game over the original arcade game mostly for nostalgic reasons. Pretty much everything from the sprites to movement is better along with the music just HHHEEEMMMMMM it slaps. I still prefer the SNES version more since I feel the pacing in that game is much better and higher boss count makes the fanservies part of my brain happy; but realistically you can’t go wrong with either version of the game.
I mean it's fine I guess, when it comes to Atari games where it's so simple I can't really say much about it other then. Eh it's just whatever
Pretty whatever compilation of minigames, pretty mid 4 but taking 1 point off for not having David Bowie.
Platinum what the fuck I thought you were better than this.
There's a sense of duty towards playing every game ever made, then there's pure masochism..
I mean it's still not the worst bastardization I've seen for this series, Doomsday Clock still exist.
A pretty alright shooter with a super well-realized annotation of the iconography that the Terminator movies have.
I hate Mobile games man, I really fucking hate them
I think the idea is super cool, the only downside is that it's on the Xbox Kinect. You know, the thing that barely even worked most of the time.
When I was still in school I spent a lot of money on this game. One day my grandmother asked me what I was spending all of my money and not saving it, I then thought about it and I had to ask myself "is this really worth it", I then spent around 10 more dollars on this game and it continued like this for another 5 months until I got bored with the game and moved on to something else.
I deeply hate past STRM so much.
It's pretty much just Ratchet and Clank but lacking everything that makes video games fun.
It's a perfect representation of the show, shit on very category other than the comedy.
About as fun to play as Fallout 4, IE not very fun.
I'm sure if I was a kid and also liked Peppa Pig I'd be going crazy for this game, but I'm a 21 year old adult and I don't think this game was made for me.
I really don't like the Sega Genesis so to me this is an inferior version almost every way to TMNTTIT.
Kinda wish I could like this as much as everyone else but I just don't like the Sega Genesis that much.
A pretty nice return to form for Spongebob 3D platformers, but there's this weird feeling of aimlessness emitting from it.
Somehow the ET mini-game in this is worse than the actual ET game.
This game is generally terrible but you can play as Fred Durst soooooo it's get's an extra star just for that addition.
I mean it was free so it's not like complaining about how bare bones it is but it was still super bare bones.
A super empty open-world game that is somehow more empty than a Ubisoft game.
I admire the attempt to make a smash bros but for CN, but it just feels way too floaty for a platformer fighter like this to work.
This is what VR was made for, this is the shit that I crave.
This feels very much like an in-between game for Telltale in terms of what they were changing the structure of their games.
Because of that it feels like this game didn't really know what it wanted to be.
I'm 100% sure whenever the press asked the development team about the game's "quality" their stock answer would be "Well the Three Stooges themselves made the game".
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.
It’s shovelware in its least interesting form.
I feel personally insulted, I feel like someone told me I was getting a gift but instead I got kicked in the balls. The World of The Dark Crystal is so massive and interesting you could make a Skyrim-level game, but instead you gave me a shitty tactic game that's not even that good.
I despise you with every fiber of my being.
An actual stain on the show's legacy.
Something about the music and the way everything looks makes this feel more like a Silent Hill game.
Fester’s Quest is considered to be up there as one of the worse games the NES has to offer, with it’s god awful controls to it’s amazing “Where the fuck do I go” level design, and it’s ever ending amount of enemies that will drain your heath in less then 2 hits. Now don’t get me wrong this is 100% a BAD GAME, but compared to other NES games I’ve played in the past this is far from the worst thing ever; and this game doesn't even come close to the likes of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or TMNT.
It takes the best parts of what Resistance did and adds a lot more fast-paced action scenes, along with much better voiced characters. it's somewhat short; only lasting around 4 to 5 hours, but it's the best 4 to 5 hours this game has to offer.
I acually honest to god finished this game in less than 30 minutes and I wasn't even trying that much.
It's pretty fun at times but it's a bit slow hack and slash game.
People who've said this is "the worst game of 2023" really need to play more games, or at least play more licensed video games, because while this is a fucking awful game; I've seen far worse come out of the AAA seen and they have even less of a reason to end up the way they do.
It’s pretty amazing that even after making a game that did a really job adapting the source material along with having most of the voice cast come back to reprise their roles, you somehow made a game that feels like it has nothing to do with Adventure Time outside of having the characters and some references.
[Verse 1]
It was a recipe for disaster
A four course meal of no sirree
It seemed that happily ever after
Was happy everyone was after me

[Bridge 1]
It was a cup of good intentions
A tablespoon of one big mess
A dash of overreaction
I assume you know the rest

[Chorus]
One little slip, One little slip
It was a fusion of confusion
With a few confounding things

[Verse 2]
I guess I probably took the wrong direction
Well, I admit I might have missed a sign or two
I ran a light past your affection
At Humiliation Avenue

[Bridge 2]
Took a right turn at confusion
A left when I should've gone straight on through
I ran ahead with my assumptions
We all know what that can do
[Chorus]

[Bridge 3]
I get the feeling in this town
I’ll never live 'til I live down
The one mistake that seems
To follow me around
But they'll forget about the sky
When they all realize this guy's
About to try to learn to fly
Or hit the ground

[Instrumental]

[Bridge 1]

[Chorus 2]
One little slip, One little slip
It was a humble little stumble
With a big un-graceful…
Took all the charm away for the original and now we're left with a really mediocre beat him up.
Out of all the Ghostbusters games on NES the bests one was the one not released in the US, yeah that seems to track in most circumstances.
Less of a game and more of a tech demo.
Still better than DMC 2 in almost every way.
It's about on par with episode 4 on NES, IE not great but has some really nice looking visuals for NES and especially for an NES licensed games.
I expected worse from you The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.
Yes it's as bad as everyone said it is.
As someone who is a huge Hellboy fan (Mike Mignola being a horrible person aside) you couldn’t find someone more excited for this game than me. From the amazing looking shaders Upstream were using to replicate Mignola’s heavy shadows art style to the combat looking fun from the small bits I saw from gameplay videos it look to be the first Hellboy video game that was not only a faithful adaptation from the comics; but also a good game on top of that. Unfortunately that’s not what we got, what we got is a super mediocre roguelike that is so piss easy and repetitive it fails at the most basic approach of being a roguelike.
It's a pretty decent 2d beat-em-up, I'd mainly recommend this If you're a really huge Kevin Smith fan since you're gonna get more out of this than anyone else.
I was really desperate to find games to play around October.
I remember playing this on my old iPod Touch when I was in middle during my huge Gorillaz phase. The copium I was taking just justified me even playing it was so strong; in retrospect I feel really sorry for 14 year old STRM.
They took the literal concept of the game and slapped it onto a SNES cartridge.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.

Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.
If I wasn't a huge Evil Dead fan I probably would've rated this much lower than I actually did.
This felt like one of those old PS2 games you'd play on an old dusty fat PS2 at a rundown daycare behind a supermarket. Yes that did sound super specific and no I didn't play this game growing up.
This game ironically reflects modern-day Tim Burton very well, it's got style with some really nice visuals for GBA, and nothing else.
Ghostbusters?
How about you go bust some bitches.
About as stander as licensed games come.
All it really does is ape on the "God of War-like" gameplay that was popular at the time and slaps the Green Lantern name on it. I guess it was playable but other than that it was just really unmemorable and dull.
It's literally the same game as the Austin Power one but instead of it being Austin Power themed it's Dr. Evil themed, which makes it 10 times better by default.
I've played better shitty minigame collections.
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
GB games come in 3 categories, ok, shit, god awful. This one just falls under ok which is amazing for most GB games.
An actual literal asset flip of a video game, like for real go fuck yourself Activision.
The Chicken fight was pretty good but everything else was just kinda bland.
I find it funny that the only unreleased Atari Star wars game is somehow the best one.
If I were being honest I gave up within the first 45 minutes, and I don't give up so easily so that's a huge accomplishment coming from me.
It's a super cheap feeling racing game, if I were a kid I'd probably liked it but still I feel like kids nowadays deserve better.
I don’t know why I even bothered playing this but I saw a screenshot with fat fuck gomez platforming and I just had to play it for shits and giggles; I ended up getting so bored with thet I nearly fell asleep playing it, which is kinda strange because unlike movies I’m constantly using a controller so idk how the hell that happened.
Not a really good game, but its combat is so floaty and janky it wraps right around to becoming something I've never truly experienced before.
As a Muppets super fan I wished this could have been better, but it still has that Muppet charm I crave.
This is a declaration of war to all Pepsi drinkers, the Coke Army thinks we’re weak but we will not take this atrocity lying down. I will take it upon myself to do the most righteous and forthcoming plan I’ve ever conceived. Breaking into people's houses at night and replacing all of their Coke with Pepsi by opening each individual can and bottle; dump it all out and replace it with Pepsi and then factory reseal them with Pepsi; that way they can finally realize the taste of pepsi and coke are so different that the label doesn't matter and they’ll go right into out pepsi loving arms. This normally will take a night (or two) but with the help of volunteers we can push back the influence of the Red Menace and make the world a peace loving Pepsi Utopia.
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃
the scream sound effect is honest to god one of the worst things I've ever had the displeasure to hear through my ear holes.
Pretty much worse in every way compared to the American NES version, but it does have some weird Japanese jank that can make it funny at times.
actually broken to the point where I couldn't finish the game.
I wanna find the weirdo at Rockstar who thought it would be a good idea to make a whole GBC game that's just a simulated Austin Powers desktop. Mostly so I can give them like a billion dollars and let their imagination run wild.
Its an actually decent license NES game, plus it doubles as a good creepypasta too which if I'm honest is a little more impressive.
My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.
I swear if I hear the word Smurf one more god damn time I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
Somehow has worse racing physics than Calvin Tucker's Redneck: Farm Animals Racing Tournament
Mario Party but boring and unfun.
I feel betrayed, I'm Breaking Bad so hard right now, I Better Call Saul soon, otherwise I might end up like Slippin' Jimmy. :)

3 Comments


BFBB should be higher and where is Hit and Run

2 years ago

sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao


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