I love everything about this game. The art, the music, the story, and oh my goodness the 90’s everything. Though I was not actually born in the 90’s, I was always surrounded by 90’s stuff for whatever reason. My primary source of entertainment as a child was an old CRT (the only TV my parents had) alongside my collection of Hand-me-down VHS tapes from family. The one crappy Canadian TV channel I had access to had no good original shows, and so it would mostly rerun 90’s nickelodeon cartoons. For a period of my life I even lived in a neighbourhood in Toronto that had been largely built up in the 90’s, and remained visually pretty much unchanged since then. All this is to say that I felt an immense attachment to everything in this game and exploring its world was genuinely amazing. Even the story was pretty charming for only being around 3-4 hours long. If I were to have ONE complaint it's that one of the main characters that accompanies you just DISAPPEARS before the end of the game and NEVER GETS A CONCLUSION TO HIS STORY. Otherwise though this game is seriously amazing and incredible and perfect and amazing and incredible and perfect and also amazing and incredible and oh, also perfect and fabulous and the best video game ever.

Halo: Combat Evolved is a fun but flawed game that unfortunately shows its age in quite a few ways. This game shines brightest when it shows off its unique and incredible locations, each with their own incredible atmospheres, and ties it all together with its very interesting story. Unfortunately however this game is not always at its best. A good portion of the game is spent navigating tight corridors, often seeing the same rooms copy and pasted over and over again, and fighting the same bunch of enemies. Master chief is fun to control in combat, however a few controls feel a bit outdated or awkward, such as the vehicle controls and lack of a zoom button while shooting. This game also suffers from not really having a proper waypoint system. Despite all of the levels being pretty linear it's still very easy to get lost due to the often confusing and repetitive map design. Overall Halo's biggest problem is its repetitiveness. Whether it be enemies, weapons, or maps, after a certain point you'll start to feel like you're just doing the same thing over and over again. The story is definitely still interesting however and though repetitive it is fun. Despite its rough patches I'm very glad I completed this game and would still recommend checking it out.

BioShock is a good first person shooter that is made into something truly great by its incredibly unique atmosphere and story. The gameplay system would be a bit dull if it wasn’t for a mechanic called “plasmids.” These are a variety of customizable abilities that range from firing elements such as lighting and flame, to placing target dummies or hypnotizing your enemies. Plasmids are always mapped to your left triggers, while your gun controls are mapped to your right triggers. It makes an otherwise fairly standard shooter feel a lot more unique and personalized to each player. The one big gameplay issue this game has is its atrocious map. Even after beating the game I still don't really understand how I'm supposed to interpret it. For some reason different levels and floors are shown on the map beside each other rather than on top and underneath each other. Often they are placed with little rhyme or reason. This game also sometimes has a bit of a lighting problem. Many environments contain a lot of grey colors and are very darkly lit, making it often hard to tell where to go and what is going on. Even still, I still think the gameplay is decently good overall; not amazing, but not at all bad either.

Where BioShock really shines is in its story and atmosphere, though I did have some issues with it so I'll get those out of the way first. Despite liking the story a lot, I noticed it often felt a little disconnected from the levels you actually play in the game. Nearly all communication with other characters takes place through a radio, and you almost never see their faces unless they're already dead. While rapture is a very cool location and does have its fair share of environmental storytelling, this games equivalent to cutscenes often consists of a character talking to you on the radio, a bunch of enemies getting dumped in the level your on, you defeating the enemies, and then a character calling you on the radio again to either curse you or congratulate you. There are very few moments where you actually get to see another character face to face or have an event happen before your eyes, though I suppose this does make the moments such as this actually contained within the game even more impactful. I won’t spoil the story but I also found the ending and final boss to be fairly disappointing.

Moving on to the good, Rapture is an absolutely incredible setting and one of the coolest and most thought out places I’ve had the privilege of exploring in a game. It's filled with this dark, moody, and creepy atmosphere combined with this sort of 1940’s - 50’s styled music and looks. It makes for something truly different than anything else I’ve ever seen, and it's really incredible. The history of Rapture as well as the character diaries that can be found within it are very well made to showcase the failures of unregulated capitalism and how disastrous it is to depend on it. I did just complain about how you are almost never face to face with any characters, but even with just their voices the game does an amazing job teaching you each and every one of their politics and ideals, and why it either brought them success or (In most cases) failed them. Among these characters is the game's main villain Andrew Ryan. Even alongside the many interesting characters this game already contains he stands out and is extremely compelling to root against. I particularly enjoyed how despite him being such a terrible person, you can tell how principled he is, and how he truly believes what he says to be the truth. It makes him feel much more threatening and is a large part of what compelled me to continue playing the game and push past some of its more creepy moments. I suppose I should mention that the game does have a sort of morality system to it, with you being able to harvest or save genetically modified children known as “little sisters.” As far as I can tell however it doesn't affect much of the game aside from the ending which is one of its weaker aspects anyways.

I think BioShock really does earn its status as such an iconic and influential game, and is something I won’t be soon forgetting. I usually don't even like first person shooters that much but I think against all odds this game has somehow broken into my top 20 list. Definitely check this game out if you’ve ever got the chance.

Following Helldivers 2, Stellar Blade marks a streak in Sony published games that actually stand out from all the rest of them. Now how do these two stand out you might ask? My answer would be that they are made by people who are proud to make games.

The most popular PlayStation exclusives since the launch of the PS5 have been The Last of Us Part 2, God of War Ragnarök, and Spider-Man 2. When they want to be a good game they can be good. But there are very frequent moments where they completely take control away from the player and become basically a tv show or something. I’m not talking about cutscenes, I’m talking about those moments where it’s just you following someone for some exposition for like 20 minutes. This shows that many in charge of those game’s development would rather be making something else. That they’re ashamed to be making a game. Shift Up is a team of developers who truly appreciate video games and what they’re meant to be.

Stellar Blade shines brightest with its combat, exploration, soundtrack, and art direction. The high octane burst of energy you get when you charge at an enemy and pelt them with a flurry of attacks is unmatched, while still not feeling overpowered as Eve really is quite the glass cannon. Fights are always a good time. I never really found myself trying to outright avoid a confrontation, they’re that fun.

Exploration harkens back to something like Super Mario Odyssey with it’s open areas, minimal invisible walls, and Eve’s acrobatic skills, but that’s not to say exploring the linear areas is boring, far from it. This game uses the dreaded yellow paint incredibly well by having it grab your attention away from the beaten path and towards something that you may have seen just out of reach along the way. This is probably the best use of yellow paint I’ve seen in any game actually.

The soundtrack is full of incredible tracks that elevate each of their accompanying moments into something truly special and memorable with its combination of synthetic beats and live orchestral performances. It won’t be surprising at all to see this pop up as a lot of people’s best soundtracks at the end of the year.

Now for art direction. This game is fucking gorgeous. Every character model and environment was so beautifully detailed and lush (the final few areas of the game are especially jaw dropping) that it actually blew my mind to see that this game maintain 60fps (aside from a few areas where if you stay for a while it’ll dip to like 40) across gameplay and cutscenes and is only like 30gb big and runs on Unreal engine. Many, MANY developers struggle to make their games under like 80gb on Unreal or anything else really while still looking and performing worse than this game. I really wanna know how Shift Up did it. They might just have optimization skills great enough to rival Nintendo. Also yes Eve is very attractive, but I found my favorite outfits to be the ones that incorporated much more casual clothing. All of them are great, though. Makes me think they got actual fashion designers to work on them.

I gotta agree with the general public here though. The story and characters are the weakest parts, but they still kept things engaging with some great twists and turns. Definitely keep a look out for text logs and all that to get a better understanding and enjoyment out of the story.

Stellar Blade is an absolute triumph of a game. Shift Up clearly shows their inspirations, but they show them with pride and admiration while still making this game wholly unique. This feels like the first true game to make actual use of next generation (we’re almost 4 years in actually. Might as well call it current generation) hardware and is a must play for anyone who is a fan of games being great.

The last time I had played Battle for Bikini Bottom (the original at least) was in 2019. According to my PS2 memory card, I had played this in 2010 prior to 2019. Back then, I never did 100% the game but I did beat it. 2019 though was the first time I 100%ed the game and I remember being so happy I finally did so since this was a game I liked a lot as a kid. I remember thinking it was great back then, but I wanted to see how I'd feel nowadays. While I don't think it's quite as good nowadays, it's still a really fun time overall.

I'd say the thing this game does best is replicating season 1-3 of SpongeBob. It doesn't always hit but when it does, this game is super funny and is basically just like those early seasons. There's a ton of callbacks to the show and references you'd only get if you've seen specific episodes. For a kid growing up on SpongeBob, this is basically like playing through a couple episodes of the show. Every voice actor from the show is here too, besides Mr. Krabs and Mermaid Man, and they don't half ass it. They bring their A game in every scene. However, going back to those two outliers, it's unfortunate they couldn't appear here. Mr. Krabs isn't too terrible, and the voice actor at least sounds like he's trying to replicate the character. Mermaid Man though is totally off and sounds pretty bad, I think. Even with those two being different tho, it's still super authentic to the show and a lot of fun seeing each scene be reminiscent of the show. The game also really replicates the world of SpongeBob well. The overworld of Bikini Bottom is done super well. You have all the main characters homes represented here. You have the Krusty Krab, the Chum Bucket. All the staple locations. The areas themselves also represent the show well. Rock Bottom, the Mermalair, Kelp Forest..even SpongeBob's Dream from that one season 1 episode appears. The characters, their dialogue and the world itself just perfectly represents the early seasons.

Getting into the gameplay itself, it's a collectathon and is basically mimicking a game like Mario 64 or Banjo Kazooie. While I don't think it's as good as either of those, for reasons I'll explain shortly, that type of game still works well in the SpongeBob universe. Instead of Stars or Jiggies, your main collectable in this game are golden spatulas. Thematically super fitting to the show, though I gotta say I never found them as satisfying to get as the aforementioned stars or jiggies. There's no jingle that plays, only a crowd cheering for the player (and SpongeBob's laugh if you're playing as him). It's just sort of a bummer since it never gave me a rush whenever I collected them like Mario 64 or Banjo did. Anyways, you collect these golden spatulas in each level alongside collecting any other assortment of collectables along the way. You have shiny objects which you get from tikis or the robots. These are used to spend on shiny object gates or to get golden spatulas from Mr. Krabs. Socks are a collectable that you can trade in to also get golden spatulas from Patrick. These are mostly easy to get but can be annoying in their placement depending on the stage. Some, mostly the first couple stage ones, require backtracking with abilities you get later on. This like barely happens at all though so if you're a Banjo Tooie hater, you might like this game. In fact, this game is maybe too linear for my liking. It's obviously no Tooie, but it's not even a Mario 64 or Kazooie in terms of its exploration. Very rarely will you travel off the beaten path to do a little side challenge but that's about it. I prefer the more open games I mentioned before for that reason, as it feels like you're being guided along a straight path most of the time. Still, what's here is mostly fun. The levels in general, besides being faithful to the show, are either pretty fun or harmless. The only two I didn't care for much were Mermalair and Kelp Forest. Both had songs that kinda got on my nerves and Kelp Forest is too dark a lot of the time and also has the worst slide in the game. My two favorite levels though, were Flying Dutchman's Graveyard and SpongeBob's Dream. I found neither annoying and they were both endgame levels so they were pretty fleshed out.

You can also play as both Patrick and Sandy, if you find a bus station in each level. They each have different abilities but basically, Patrick is strong and can throw heavy things while Sandy has a lasso she can glide with and can also swing from these lasso Texas things. Both characters change the gameplay up enough for it feel different and fun. Their move sets are simpler than SpongeBob's. His move set consists of a double jump, a bubble wand attack, a bubble butt stomp, a bubble helmet that shoots upwards, the bubble bowl which is a bowling ball you can throw to hit things and the cruise bubble which is this missile attack you can use to hit enemies or buttons from a far. Those last two abilities are ones you unlock as progress and I generally like the move set SpongeBob has. Only thing I wish he had was a movement ability. There's no long jump or talon trot here so he doesn't feel quite as fun to play as because of the lack of something like that.

Between each set of three levels, and also in some of the levels themselves, are the game's bosses. The bosses in the actual levels aren't that great imo but are fun references to the show at least. The main game's bosses you must defeat to proceed tho are actually pretty fun. They're more fleshed out and have cutscenes between phases. You also switch between characters between phases too, which again, changes up the gameplay somewhat. The final boss was definitely the best, it's a fun nod to SpongeBob's love for Karate and also to the anchor arm episode. But I also gotta give props to robot Patrick's fight. The atmosphere of the industrial park combined with the eerie music, always freaked me out a bit as a kid. Still does even now lol.

Speaking of the music, while I don't think it's that amazing overall, there are still some tracks I quite like. Jellyfish Fields is an upbeat classic, Industrial Park again is quite eerie but really good and the best track in the game is probably Flying Dutchman's Graveyard. That one just perfectly fits the level and also rocks on top of it. Like I said, there are some tracks I straight up don't like whether it's cuz the level annoyed me as a kid or I just don't like them in general, however the OST is still solid overall.

I will say, I never noticed how unpolished this game could be at times. Whether it's me clipping through a tiki that doesn't have hit detection, or the slide portions being really janky depending on how I jump, it's not as polished as thought it was back then. Still, this is super helpful to the speedrun community as the game has some well-known glitches and exploits that are actually super cool to see someone perform. I remember getting into these speedrun videos shortly before Rehydrated came out and being amazed I'm just now finding out about all them. Speaking of rehydrated, I'll just say one thing. Play this version, don't play Rehydrated for the love of god. It's so bad, the fucking warp boxes don't even animate.

One more thing I wanna mention before I end the review off, is the golden spatula warp feature. If you go into the menu, to the golden spatulas you've collected or have to collect still, you can take the taxi from the menu and warp to that location. Holy shit, this may be the best feature in this game. It's super convenient and frankly should be in more 3D Platformers lol.

This is a game I played as a kid and while I think it's not quite as good as once thought, and is not as good as Mario 64 (and definitely not as good as Banjo), it's still a fun time. It's not too long either so it's a game you can easily replay. Maybe I'd think lower of this game if I wasn't a SpongeBob fan or grew up with this, as it's just kind of an average 3D platformer, but it's still one of the best licensed games I've played because it represents the world of SpongeBob so well. Glad it holds up even to this day.

Hm....
Personally, I think games should be more obtuse.
I mean this genuinely.

I didn't press F1 until hour 10 and realize that I can use skills on things. This was awesome.
That item on the ground? Personally I don't want it to be distinguishable from the background to any degree.
A timer marking my imminent loss causing anxiety anytime I waste time? This is awesome. Your daughter is kidnapped? Sorry bro - I got shit to do.
Peak obtuseness was me realizing that reading a book and failing a repair passed like 12 hours of time. At this point the radx I took started to wear off (the radiation system is also obtuse and awesome), and my character casually remarks that their hair is falling out and their body is hemorrhaging.

I go back to a certain area after a certain amount of time passes... OOPS! Gorsh, golly!
>I beat the game but I took a little bit too long
A GA A HORSH
You specced 1 intelligence and 1 agility ? ? That's real.

Half the settlements don't know a single thing about each other, aside from traders. This weird separation combines with how desolate the wasteland actually is, is super good.
My favorite example of this is every settlement acting like you're an insane child for believing in Deathclaws. Meanwhile, in a certain settlement, the citizens are like "Deathclaws? points they're over there. We can't go over there any more because of thems. We hired guards to stop them from MAIMING us"

Ok final thought - the Mutant threat? Awesome. Mutants one hit killing me? Awesome. A mutant escorting me to an end game location, only to either have me instant game over or beat me within an inch of my life, lock me up, and take all my items? These things are awesome. Didn't save recently? you're an imbecile.

teleports into Todd Howards home
Can I get more of this?
The gunplay in fallout 4 was awesome ........ BUT STOP!!! KNOCK IT OFF. no more speaking protgagnoinst.. Givem e .. world record for dialogue in gaming! spits at mr Howie NO MORE 4 CHOICES THAT ARE THE SAME?!? HAD TO MOD THAT OUT BRO!!!! Borderlandas looting ???? BLEEDING EFFECT ON MY GUN ; RNG DEATHCLAW ALPHA NUMERICAL DEAATHCLAW MOTHER +6,000XP holding bleeding sledgehammer and raider left arm? NO! Starfield ELDERS SCORL??? QUIT IT NO gets strappedi nto the sl;op feeding machine



NO * * NO

The only Obsidian game I ever played where I just dropped it entirely less than midway through, this is Obsidian's nadir. Super glad I just played it on Game Pass at launch. An utterly shallow game both narratively and mechanically, so terminally vapidly centrist it gives Bioshock Infinite a run for its money. Disco Elysium had just came out like a week before and it just made this game look exponentially worse in comparison in every way. Still will never get over how Parvarti was Rainbow Capitalism personified as she never stopped licking the boots of people who enslaved her and separated her from her mom. Just appallingly tone deaf writing.

Fricking sucks we're getting a sequel to this pile while Alpha Protocol and Tyranny will be forever lost to rights hell.