Serbrethren
2024
MICHAEL
DON'T LEAVE ME HERE
-cough-
MICHAEL
MICHAAAAAAAEL
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
DON'T LEAVE ME HERE
-cough-
MICHAEL
MICHAAAAAAAEL
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
has a lot of interesting ideas, particularly with how you choose both your upgrades and the enemy's upgrades, and it's got a very addicting gameplay loop
however, i really wish the folly shields worked on all "accidental suicide" moves. it's aggravating to lose a run by accidentally shooting a piece to death that was obscuring a rook or a queen when you are given grace for other moves such as stepping into a checkmate or shooting when you're in check. it's a minor point but it's the cause of at least a third (if not half) of my lost runs and that's quite frustrating when they normally give you warning about these things
still, its quite fun overall and that's really the only big annoyance i have with the game.
however, i really wish the folly shields worked on all "accidental suicide" moves. it's aggravating to lose a run by accidentally shooting a piece to death that was obscuring a rook or a queen when you are given grace for other moves such as stepping into a checkmate or shooting when you're in check. it's a minor point but it's the cause of at least a third (if not half) of my lost runs and that's quite frustrating when they normally give you warning about these things
still, its quite fun overall and that's really the only big annoyance i have with the game.
2016
i havent reviewed it on this platform because it's been too long since ive played it to give coherent opinions on it, but the first dark souls game is also a 4-star game. what's interesting is that it's a 4-star game for completely different reasons than this game.
dark souls 3 is very well designed overall and has great gamefeel, with the more generous roll timing allowing them to create more elaborate bosses with quicker attacks. you can certainly see the influence bloodborne had on the game.
dark souls 3 also has the most consistent boss roster of any of the soulsbornekiroring games (that's what we're calling it now, right). it's still not perfect, obviously, and once you beat vordt you'll have a string of mediocre bosses to get through before reaching irithyll, but the roster is generally well made.
what makes dark souls 3 good, and what makes the original dark souls good are very interesting to compare. dark souls 3's biggest failing is in its generally lackluster level design compared to its predecessor. the game is quite linear, which certainly makes it more accessible than the others. it also means that the act of unraveling the world of dark souls 3 is generally not as interesting as it is for the original game.
it's hard to explain this properly, but the world of dark souls 1 felt like opening up a fantastic book that's difficult to parse but in the end, you feel like you've learned a lot about the society within the text, the bestiary of fantastic monsters, and all the intricacies of its politics.
the world of dark souls 3, perhaps somewhat intentionally, feels more like reading a collection of good, even great short stories whose only interconnecting theme is that the world should probably end already. it certainly has variety, and there's something enjoyable about these different stories, but lothric lacks the same perception of depth that lordran had. many areas feel like completely different worlds that you never get to properly explore.
this lack of cohesion, despite being undoubtedly the most cinematic of original trilogy, means that it is also less memorable overall compared to the original game. i should clarify that i'm not referring to the most cinematic fights in the game. slave knight gael isn't "less memorable than the taurus demon," thank you very much. but the areas and bosses of the original game manifest in my mind so much more easily than those of dark souls 3. i think this, too, has a lot to do with the level design, both on a mechanical and aesthetic level. even an area like darkroot garden sticks with me more than a place like farron keep.
that being said, dark souls 3 is undeniably the game i could easily pick up and play over the first game. the way it controls and the feel of the combat are so much better overall compared to the original game's general slowness that this game triumphs in the moment to moment gameplay.
so i guess, all in all, i'd rather play dark souls 3 if im bored and want to kill time but i'd rather play dark souls 1 if im in the mood to get immersed in a proper world.
what's that? dark souls 2? give me like... a couple years. maybe i'll actually beat that one if i have that much prep time.
dark souls 3 is very well designed overall and has great gamefeel, with the more generous roll timing allowing them to create more elaborate bosses with quicker attacks. you can certainly see the influence bloodborne had on the game.
dark souls 3 also has the most consistent boss roster of any of the soulsbornekiroring games (that's what we're calling it now, right). it's still not perfect, obviously, and once you beat vordt you'll have a string of mediocre bosses to get through before reaching irithyll, but the roster is generally well made.
what makes dark souls 3 good, and what makes the original dark souls good are very interesting to compare. dark souls 3's biggest failing is in its generally lackluster level design compared to its predecessor. the game is quite linear, which certainly makes it more accessible than the others. it also means that the act of unraveling the world of dark souls 3 is generally not as interesting as it is for the original game.
it's hard to explain this properly, but the world of dark souls 1 felt like opening up a fantastic book that's difficult to parse but in the end, you feel like you've learned a lot about the society within the text, the bestiary of fantastic monsters, and all the intricacies of its politics.
the world of dark souls 3, perhaps somewhat intentionally, feels more like reading a collection of good, even great short stories whose only interconnecting theme is that the world should probably end already. it certainly has variety, and there's something enjoyable about these different stories, but lothric lacks the same perception of depth that lordran had. many areas feel like completely different worlds that you never get to properly explore.
this lack of cohesion, despite being undoubtedly the most cinematic of original trilogy, means that it is also less memorable overall compared to the original game. i should clarify that i'm not referring to the most cinematic fights in the game. slave knight gael isn't "less memorable than the taurus demon," thank you very much. but the areas and bosses of the original game manifest in my mind so much more easily than those of dark souls 3. i think this, too, has a lot to do with the level design, both on a mechanical and aesthetic level. even an area like darkroot garden sticks with me more than a place like farron keep.
that being said, dark souls 3 is undeniably the game i could easily pick up and play over the first game. the way it controls and the feel of the combat are so much better overall compared to the original game's general slowness that this game triumphs in the moment to moment gameplay.
so i guess, all in all, i'd rather play dark souls 3 if im bored and want to kill time but i'd rather play dark souls 1 if im in the mood to get immersed in a proper world.
what's that? dark souls 2? give me like... a couple years. maybe i'll actually beat that one if i have that much prep time.
2007
perhaps the best game you could complete in less than an afternoon. the perfect mixture of fun physics and portal based puzzles with sharp, dry comedy while basically having only one actual character. it's no wonder this game exploded the way it did.
1998
This review contains spoilers
two notes:
- not that into fpses to begin with (though i did quite like ultrakill)
- i somehow never played half life for real until now and only recently learned the specifics of the cultural and mechanical impact this had on video games
so from the perspective of someone who never played half-life, how does this game age?
there are certainly games that have aged worse than this. aspects of this game's design are relics, while others are clearly limitations of the time. these limitations can work in the game's favor and provide it some of its charm.
what pleasantly surprised me is how much of the game does age well. obviously not talking about the first person platforming sections, but the unbroken first person perspective and the intro to the game are incredible at setting a tone. the early hours of the game are genuinely unforgettable. i can imagine someone complaining about how long the intro is, but i'm here for it.
the way gordon evolves from "hapless dude with a crowbar trying to figure out what the fuck is going on" to "guy who can take on the government and alien conquerors" is surprisingly natural, and i love small details such as the hevc soldiers and even the aliens beginning to call you out by name after a certain point in the game. these elements are honestly timeless.
some aspects don't age as well. something about how fast your character moves makes playing the game disorienting for long periods. this might just be a "me problem," but it forced me to stop playing at certain points due to genuinely getting nauseous.
divorced from the topic of "does this age well" lies an aspect that most fans seem to agree wasn't good from the very start: xen.
xen and its four levels are incongruous with the rest of the game in a bad way. it suddenly grinds the tension to a halt and has you wandering aimlessly through an hour and a half of poorly designed alien worlds before finally going up against the nihilanth, which feels like the world's most annoying sleepwalk.
frankly, i wish the entirety of xen was just a climactic boss fight against the nihilanth (also i wish the nihilanth was better, thanks <3). there were only a handful of memorable setpieces on xen, and most of them for the wrong reasons.
but im complaining a bit. the game's actual ending leaves a strong impression, and the majority of the game is pretty good, even great. the problems drag it down for me, personally.
it's still a game that i respect for what it has done for the medium, but if i ever replay the game, i'll probably only play about two-thirds of it.
- not that into fpses to begin with (though i did quite like ultrakill)
- i somehow never played half life for real until now and only recently learned the specifics of the cultural and mechanical impact this had on video games
so from the perspective of someone who never played half-life, how does this game age?
there are certainly games that have aged worse than this. aspects of this game's design are relics, while others are clearly limitations of the time. these limitations can work in the game's favor and provide it some of its charm.
what pleasantly surprised me is how much of the game does age well. obviously not talking about the first person platforming sections, but the unbroken first person perspective and the intro to the game are incredible at setting a tone. the early hours of the game are genuinely unforgettable. i can imagine someone complaining about how long the intro is, but i'm here for it.
the way gordon evolves from "hapless dude with a crowbar trying to figure out what the fuck is going on" to "guy who can take on the government and alien conquerors" is surprisingly natural, and i love small details such as the hevc soldiers and even the aliens beginning to call you out by name after a certain point in the game. these elements are honestly timeless.
some aspects don't age as well. something about how fast your character moves makes playing the game disorienting for long periods. this might just be a "me problem," but it forced me to stop playing at certain points due to genuinely getting nauseous.
divorced from the topic of "does this age well" lies an aspect that most fans seem to agree wasn't good from the very start: xen.
xen and its four levels are incongruous with the rest of the game in a bad way. it suddenly grinds the tension to a halt and has you wandering aimlessly through an hour and a half of poorly designed alien worlds before finally going up against the nihilanth, which feels like the world's most annoying sleepwalk.
frankly, i wish the entirety of xen was just a climactic boss fight against the nihilanth (also i wish the nihilanth was better, thanks <3). there were only a handful of memorable setpieces on xen, and most of them for the wrong reasons.
but im complaining a bit. the game's actual ending leaves a strong impression, and the majority of the game is pretty good, even great. the problems drag it down for me, personally.
it's still a game that i respect for what it has done for the medium, but if i ever replay the game, i'll probably only play about two-thirds of it.
i think ive played enough dicey dungeons for a good year or two, but this was a nice final episode with some cool new gimmicks for all the characters. some better than others.
enemy changes are mostly unremarkable, but some enemies have new equipment that help them feel more balanced. others i wish remained as they were originally, but i don't mind. i was hoping for at least a couple new enemies but im not gonna get pissy about a free update not having a bunch of new enemies. the new music and areas were fun enough.
most of what's interesting are the changes made to characters, whom i'll rank from least favorite to favorite!
6) jester - probably the biggest downgrade, unfortunately. their gimmick isn't terrible but it has a similar problem to base game witch where you can't build too far into a niche until you know which of the "equipable items" are going to show up in the shop. it sucks upgrading your electric equipment too early and not getting the battery item, or upgrading your mana dependent items and not getting the mana pendant. it's not terrible but i hated feeling pigeonholed into a playstyle depending on the shop items.
5) robot - a very interesting gimmick for sure, but one that doesn't strike the appeal of robot that they had in the base game. coin flips being wholly 50/50 means that there's a lot less methods to manipulate the jackpot in your favor, and replacing autoroll with fury is just puzzling to me. it's not terrible and there are ways to work around it, but it wasn't that fun for me compared to some of the others.
4) witch - pretty much the same as her halloween special, albeit easier on average. nothing as bad as the pumpkin spice puzzle, for sure. honestly my biggest complaint here is the music gets repetitive because it takes place over the entirety of one fight. still, inoffensive.
3) thief - thief feels the most "standard" out of any of the characters, but he's definitely not bad for a warmup character. it's sort of a mix between his first two episodes and the enemies have enough interesting equipment that thief can get some very fun builds going. i particularly enjoyed stealing singer's "return a good dice" equipment. it's basic, but fun.
2) inventor - this one's also interesting! it's a spin on her scrapping mechanic where instead of replacing equipment after every fight, equipment are all limited use. inventor in this episode actually felt a lot like robot in that you can either lean into the spontaneity of her constantly changing equipment or focus on using an item like whetstone that helps keep your build more consistent. this feels like the most improved character from the original game.
1) warrior - not only is the "workout" spin on warrior hilarious, but it makes for some really interesting and surprisingly challenging runs! the workout system is really fun as a delicate balance between longer term rewards from workouts such as max hp or building up to omnislash, and between doing direct attacks to end fights before they get too lethal. it's a limitation that makes warrior far more engaging and challenging despite still retaining a number of his old tricks.
so yeah! im definitely burnt out on the game at this point, but it was an incredibly fun ride and i dont regret having spent so much time with it. i hope terry cavanagh's next game is just as fun!
enemy changes are mostly unremarkable, but some enemies have new equipment that help them feel more balanced. others i wish remained as they were originally, but i don't mind. i was hoping for at least a couple new enemies but im not gonna get pissy about a free update not having a bunch of new enemies. the new music and areas were fun enough.
most of what's interesting are the changes made to characters, whom i'll rank from least favorite to favorite!
6) jester - probably the biggest downgrade, unfortunately. their gimmick isn't terrible but it has a similar problem to base game witch where you can't build too far into a niche until you know which of the "equipable items" are going to show up in the shop. it sucks upgrading your electric equipment too early and not getting the battery item, or upgrading your mana dependent items and not getting the mana pendant. it's not terrible but i hated feeling pigeonholed into a playstyle depending on the shop items.
5) robot - a very interesting gimmick for sure, but one that doesn't strike the appeal of robot that they had in the base game. coin flips being wholly 50/50 means that there's a lot less methods to manipulate the jackpot in your favor, and replacing autoroll with fury is just puzzling to me. it's not terrible and there are ways to work around it, but it wasn't that fun for me compared to some of the others.
4) witch - pretty much the same as her halloween special, albeit easier on average. nothing as bad as the pumpkin spice puzzle, for sure. honestly my biggest complaint here is the music gets repetitive because it takes place over the entirety of one fight. still, inoffensive.
3) thief - thief feels the most "standard" out of any of the characters, but he's definitely not bad for a warmup character. it's sort of a mix between his first two episodes and the enemies have enough interesting equipment that thief can get some very fun builds going. i particularly enjoyed stealing singer's "return a good dice" equipment. it's basic, but fun.
2) inventor - this one's also interesting! it's a spin on her scrapping mechanic where instead of replacing equipment after every fight, equipment are all limited use. inventor in this episode actually felt a lot like robot in that you can either lean into the spontaneity of her constantly changing equipment or focus on using an item like whetstone that helps keep your build more consistent. this feels like the most improved character from the original game.
1) warrior - not only is the "workout" spin on warrior hilarious, but it makes for some really interesting and surprisingly challenging runs! the workout system is really fun as a delicate balance between longer term rewards from workouts such as max hp or building up to omnislash, and between doing direct attacks to end fights before they get too lethal. it's a limitation that makes warrior far more engaging and challenging despite still retaining a number of his old tricks.
so yeah! im definitely burnt out on the game at this point, but it was an incredibly fun ride and i dont regret having spent so much time with it. i hope terry cavanagh's next game is just as fun!
1995
pretty classic. slumps near the end with all the sidequests and a lot of it requires a bunch of esoteric nonsense, but it's got great music, a story that's both fun and harrowing (a bit tonally dissonant at times, lol), and some really good designs from toriyama
magus is funny
magus is funny
oh yeah i played this one too
its basically three episodes of new content for the three poster characters. warrior is basically more of the same, and i quite liked the inventor's gimmick, and i liked that the witch basically just focuses on puzzles (although the witch's last puzzle was way too hard without a guide)
its basically three episodes of new content for the three poster characters. warrior is basically more of the same, and i quite liked the inventor's gimmick, and i liked that the witch basically just focuses on puzzles (although the witch's last puzzle was way too hard without a guide)
2023
it's about what you'd expect for $1.20 length-wise, but it was surprisingly engaging
i could see this working as a proper game in tabletop simulator. the grimy visual aesthetics, all the little animations, and the persistent club music gives this game one hell of an atmosphere, and i don't regret dying and coming back to life a couple dozen times for it
i could see this working as a proper game in tabletop simulator. the grimy visual aesthetics, all the little animations, and the persistent club music gives this game one hell of an atmosphere, and i don't regret dying and coming back to life a couple dozen times for it
2019
i love games that are devilishly simple but gradually unravel into a nightmarish puzzle box
dicey dungeons is just one of those games that you can't stop playing. you can't do it! you're playing it right now. i see you. you should pick crowbar.
it's the sort of game that is just so mechanically easy to understand but utilizes that simplicity in order to craft the potential for thousands of game-breaking runs. there's so much equipment that has the potential to synergize with one another that the act of finding a really, REALLY good synergy gives you the same feeling as solving a difficult puzzle in a game.
but the game isn't all about skill. it's called "dicey dungeons" not "assemble a perfect rube goldberg machine dungeons." a lot of the game is inherently about chance.
random chance mechanics in any game are a tightrope balance. while often unwelcome in games that rely heavily on reaction timing, it's almost a necessity in any given rpg in order to avoid stagnance in either direction. it's no fun being locked into winning or losing at the very start of a fight. variable damage numbers, critical hits, dodge chances... there's a lot
for dicey dungeons, the randomness is baked into the system itself. you roll dice from 1-6 and that determines the actions you're allowed to take. this system actually works a lot better than most rng elements due to the amount of tools the game provides you that allow you to counterbalance this innate randomness.
the warrior starts with a reroll skill that can reroll dice up to three times. the thief starts with a lockpick that allows him to split up higher dice into lower dice, allowing him to utilize his equipment even if he rolls high. robot can find lots of equipment that decreases the randomness of his cpu or gives you cushions in case you bust. the inventor's scrapping mechanic is offset by choosing one of three pieces of equipment and having certain equipment be guaranteed to show up for scrapping. i could go on. every character has mechanics like this.
speaking of characters, they all act as an "ascending order of complexity" that helps ease players into the more unusual aspects of the game like a frog in a simmering pot. the complexity usually just boils down to finding the character's win condition.
warrior and thief both have very simple win conditions, that being "roll as high as possible" and "roll lots of small dice." warrior is fairly consistent throughout and thief can potentially build in a direction where his win condition becomes "roll as high as possible and get lots of countdown equipment." (you should've picked crowbar, by the way. why didn't you do that?)
robot leans heavily into the "game of chance" aspect, since acquiring dice essentially requires that robot play blackjack. their win condition is usually "hit the jackpot" but further complexity is added through either building around hitting consistent jackpots or through acquiring safety cushions in case you fail. they're probably one of my favorites because you can choose to lean heavily into random chance or lean heavily outside of it. and darn it, it's exhilarating getting a jackpot when you're expecting to bust.
inventor and witch are a bit more divisive for me. inventor's core gimmick is simple, but forces you to always have backup plans in mind. her playstyle is completely incongruous with your general win condition of setting up a kit that will work in 90% of scenarios, and her win condition is more closely aligned with "have at least 3 kits that have a 75% chance of working in mind at any given time." the best parts of playing inventor are often in the final stretch of enemies before the boss, where you're trying to optimize your kit so you can get a really good gadget that gives you that proper "90% chance of victory build" going into the boss.
witch is divisive for a different reason. she is THE setplay character. her win conditions are essentially "fill out your spellbook with equipment that synergizes well." unlike other characters, witch's power often requires a lot of preparation time and usually requires a level of foresight on the part of the player in order to avoid being trapped into bad builds.
this comes down to a specific design element exclusive to her and the sixth character, that being a lack of inventory. acquiring equipment affixes it to your spellbook, and replacing the spell removes it entirely. this one design choice is the source of many, many frustrations while playing as the witch. you can't alter the contents of your spellbook to get that golden build, you just have to know in advance what her potential spells are so you can hope to eventually get to that point.
this complexity means that witch often has the potential to do all sorts of things, i won't deny that, but much of the experience playing witch leads to her doing things worse than everyone else up until the very end. so many of my runs ended at floor 5 because fights simply were taking long enough that the witch's hp would be worn down to nothing.
the sixth character is possibly my favorite, and i won't spoil their identity. their win condition is something like "find lots of good cards, but keep your deck as lean as possible." this new cards system along with their "snap" limit break leads to some of my favorite synergies in the entire game. there is nothing quite as satisfying as curating your deck so perfectly that you can end fights in a single turn.
all of this, by itself, is pretty great. the witch may be a bit frustrating to play, but the variety in and of itself means that you'll rarely get bored so long as you're willing to experiment. but each character has six episodes which take each of these concepts and take them even further! whether it's episode 4's hard mode or the unique challenge runs of episodes 2 and 3, the "close to true rogue-like" bonus round that is episode six, or the ENTIRE PARALLEL UNIVERSE THAT ALTERS EQUIPMENT AND STATUS EFFECTS
the game always finds new rabbits to pull out of its hat, is what i'm saying.
on a more aesthetic level, the game's got a great sense of style and an incredibly great soundtrack that almost never got old for me. it's a small detail, but i love how battle themes always start at random points in a song. it's a small touch that keeps the music from ever getting too repetitive.
if you're looking for an addictive rogue-like, there are few as fun as dicey dungeons. now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to play the other level packs!
because the game has those.
seriously. they just keep finding new ways to iterate on the concept.
dicey dungeons is just one of those games that you can't stop playing. you can't do it! you're playing it right now. i see you. you should pick crowbar.
it's the sort of game that is just so mechanically easy to understand but utilizes that simplicity in order to craft the potential for thousands of game-breaking runs. there's so much equipment that has the potential to synergize with one another that the act of finding a really, REALLY good synergy gives you the same feeling as solving a difficult puzzle in a game.
but the game isn't all about skill. it's called "dicey dungeons" not "assemble a perfect rube goldberg machine dungeons." a lot of the game is inherently about chance.
random chance mechanics in any game are a tightrope balance. while often unwelcome in games that rely heavily on reaction timing, it's almost a necessity in any given rpg in order to avoid stagnance in either direction. it's no fun being locked into winning or losing at the very start of a fight. variable damage numbers, critical hits, dodge chances... there's a lot
for dicey dungeons, the randomness is baked into the system itself. you roll dice from 1-6 and that determines the actions you're allowed to take. this system actually works a lot better than most rng elements due to the amount of tools the game provides you that allow you to counterbalance this innate randomness.
the warrior starts with a reroll skill that can reroll dice up to three times. the thief starts with a lockpick that allows him to split up higher dice into lower dice, allowing him to utilize his equipment even if he rolls high. robot can find lots of equipment that decreases the randomness of his cpu or gives you cushions in case you bust. the inventor's scrapping mechanic is offset by choosing one of three pieces of equipment and having certain equipment be guaranteed to show up for scrapping. i could go on. every character has mechanics like this.
speaking of characters, they all act as an "ascending order of complexity" that helps ease players into the more unusual aspects of the game like a frog in a simmering pot. the complexity usually just boils down to finding the character's win condition.
warrior and thief both have very simple win conditions, that being "roll as high as possible" and "roll lots of small dice." warrior is fairly consistent throughout and thief can potentially build in a direction where his win condition becomes "roll as high as possible and get lots of countdown equipment." (you should've picked crowbar, by the way. why didn't you do that?)
robot leans heavily into the "game of chance" aspect, since acquiring dice essentially requires that robot play blackjack. their win condition is usually "hit the jackpot" but further complexity is added through either building around hitting consistent jackpots or through acquiring safety cushions in case you fail. they're probably one of my favorites because you can choose to lean heavily into random chance or lean heavily outside of it. and darn it, it's exhilarating getting a jackpot when you're expecting to bust.
inventor and witch are a bit more divisive for me. inventor's core gimmick is simple, but forces you to always have backup plans in mind. her playstyle is completely incongruous with your general win condition of setting up a kit that will work in 90% of scenarios, and her win condition is more closely aligned with "have at least 3 kits that have a 75% chance of working in mind at any given time." the best parts of playing inventor are often in the final stretch of enemies before the boss, where you're trying to optimize your kit so you can get a really good gadget that gives you that proper "90% chance of victory build" going into the boss.
witch is divisive for a different reason. she is THE setplay character. her win conditions are essentially "fill out your spellbook with equipment that synergizes well." unlike other characters, witch's power often requires a lot of preparation time and usually requires a level of foresight on the part of the player in order to avoid being trapped into bad builds.
this comes down to a specific design element exclusive to her and the sixth character, that being a lack of inventory. acquiring equipment affixes it to your spellbook, and replacing the spell removes it entirely. this one design choice is the source of many, many frustrations while playing as the witch. you can't alter the contents of your spellbook to get that golden build, you just have to know in advance what her potential spells are so you can hope to eventually get to that point.
this complexity means that witch often has the potential to do all sorts of things, i won't deny that, but much of the experience playing witch leads to her doing things worse than everyone else up until the very end. so many of my runs ended at floor 5 because fights simply were taking long enough that the witch's hp would be worn down to nothing.
the sixth character is possibly my favorite, and i won't spoil their identity. their win condition is something like "find lots of good cards, but keep your deck as lean as possible." this new cards system along with their "snap" limit break leads to some of my favorite synergies in the entire game. there is nothing quite as satisfying as curating your deck so perfectly that you can end fights in a single turn.
all of this, by itself, is pretty great. the witch may be a bit frustrating to play, but the variety in and of itself means that you'll rarely get bored so long as you're willing to experiment. but each character has six episodes which take each of these concepts and take them even further! whether it's episode 4's hard mode or the unique challenge runs of episodes 2 and 3, the "close to true rogue-like" bonus round that is episode six, or the ENTIRE PARALLEL UNIVERSE THAT ALTERS EQUIPMENT AND STATUS EFFECTS
the game always finds new rabbits to pull out of its hat, is what i'm saying.
on a more aesthetic level, the game's got a great sense of style and an incredibly great soundtrack that almost never got old for me. it's a small detail, but i love how battle themes always start at random points in a song. it's a small touch that keeps the music from ever getting too repetitive.
if you're looking for an addictive rogue-like, there are few as fun as dicey dungeons. now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to play the other level packs!
because the game has those.
seriously. they just keep finding new ways to iterate on the concept.
This review contains spoilers
-me perusing through my steam library of 400+ games and stumbling across crypt of the necrodancer-
"oh hey! i remember this game. i played it like, way back in 2016 and i just kinda stopped. i wonder why i bounced off of it?"
-10 hours later-
"oh. that's why."
i'll admit that i didn't get very far on my earliest runs of the game. i'm not the best at video games now and that fact was doubly true back when i first played crypt of the necrodancer. its the sort of game that is simultaneously very easy to pick up and very easy to put down.
i'll get the parts i do like out of the way. it's got a great soundtrack, of course, and a number of the characters are actually quite fun to play. the zones get kinda samey but enemy behavior is varied enough that it never gets too repetitive
at least if you're doing well.
part of why i bounced off this game twice before actually completing the game was because losing in this game is miserable. you don't have to start all over from zone 1 (by default, anyways) but the experience of losing repeatedly means hearing the same songs with the same repetitive motions with the same enemies that just keep killing you because you keep putting yourself in bad positions.
it gets dull. really, really dull.
it's not just a "im bad at the game" thing. other rogue-likes with semi-complex gameplay loops like this one don't tend to make me feel bored in the same way, and i think it has to do with the core concept.
see, crypt of the necrodancer is a "rhythm game/dungeon crawler." all of your actions, which would normally be the dungeon crawling, are forced to follow the song's bpm. it's a novel concept, and one that got me interested in the game to begin with.
the thing is, i feel like the game designers spent a lot more time designing the "dungeon crawler" part than the "rhythm game" part. most of the difficulty emerges as a result of an enemy's specific design as opposed to how hard it is to hit notes. for most characters, you don't even need to hit all the notes unless you want to keep your money multiplier.
there are a couple instances where the rhythm element is focused on. that being bolt/coda, king conga, and the tempo up/down buttons, but all of these examples are sparse.
tempo up/down is basically just forcing you to either move faster or slower, either giving you less time to react or more time to react.
king conga is the only song in the game where the beats are not perfectly and evenly spaced out. i really, really wish more songs utilized something like this
bolt/coda is basically a living hyper tempo up button. you hit twice as many beats as normal. all this serves to do is to remove the strategic element of the game and forces you to act on impulse unless you're a top tier player of the game. i don't think most people are, frankly.
that's mostly it. most songs in the game have their notes be perfectly and evenly spaced out from one another. most runs are just mindlessly tap, tap, tapping to the rhythm. the only variation is in the songs themselves.
frankly, i think this is a wasted opportunity. give the actual rhythm part some significance! having more songs playing in different time signatures would go a long way to making the gameplay feel less monotonous. have it be so that maintaining your rhythm rewards you with more damage rather than just a coin multiplier.
but this is mostly why the game would be a soft 3/5 stars as opposed to a more solid 4. because the game, as is, is mostly solid. so why am i rating this 2 stars?
Enter: Aria
i cannot fathom Aria. in what world do you design a roguelike's story mode and have Aria be a required character to beat the main story? Imagine playing The Binding of Isaac and in order to see all of the main story content you have to play as Isaac, then Judas, then THE LOST and you can't finish the story unless you beat the game with all three characters. it's not impossible but why the hell would you gatekeep the last third of the story behind one of the hardest characters in the game?
i grit my teeth playing as Aria. it was baffling to me already but i powered through it and assumed it'd get easier as it went along. it did, to an extent. going from Zone 4 to Zone 1 meant that the difficulty waned a bit over time.
unfortunately, there was little I could do to prepare for the fight with the Golden Lute.
genuinely one of the worst final bosses i've ever had the displeasure of facing. Cadence and Melody had fights against the Necrodancer himself. while not ridiculously easy, it was the sort of difficulty i could practice my way out of.
The Golden Lute is not so simple. I practiced that fight over a hundred times and could only win a quarter of them, even when I knew what I was supposed to do. let's just ignore the fact that the best way to fight the Golden Lute is by playing the fight in the most boring way possible. y'know, once again having to do the monotonous "tap, tap, tapping" against a bounce pad so the boss happens to land next to me because Aria dies if you miss a note and thus normally you have to constantly move.
again, let's ignore that.
the boss's erratic movement patterns, the fact that most of your runs are dependent on a green skeleton knight not spawning in, and the esoteric method to actually landing a critical hit on the boss makes the entire fight a long, ridiculous chore. let's not forget that you have to complete the fight after a whole zone's worth of enemies while playing as the second-most fragile character in the game. but even when playing as a less fragile character the fight is only marginally less cumbersome.
also, whose idea was it to make the final boss move like a BAT
the dam broke when i fought the golden lute. all at once i had the thought of "why the fuck am i even doing any of this?" i was having mild fun, but the game spat in my mouth and told me i'd be having way more fun playing the game with my skin flayed off.
what's that? the amplified dlc? yeah, it's alright. i don't understand why some basic QoL features that werent dependent on dlc content had to be locked behind the dlc, but whatever. nocturna is pretty powerful, which works well for the difficulty of the dlc. frankensteinway and the conductor are both very difficult final bosses, but im not playing a character made of paper. zone 5 works well as an evolution of the dungeon crawler aspect of the game while, as per usual, not doing much for the rhythm game aspect. it's fine, like i said. more fun than the base game.
i think the song's about to end, so i'll just let it run out and ill drop into a new rogueli--
SONG ENDED!
"oh hey! i remember this game. i played it like, way back in 2016 and i just kinda stopped. i wonder why i bounced off of it?"
-10 hours later-
"oh. that's why."
i'll admit that i didn't get very far on my earliest runs of the game. i'm not the best at video games now and that fact was doubly true back when i first played crypt of the necrodancer. its the sort of game that is simultaneously very easy to pick up and very easy to put down.
i'll get the parts i do like out of the way. it's got a great soundtrack, of course, and a number of the characters are actually quite fun to play. the zones get kinda samey but enemy behavior is varied enough that it never gets too repetitive
at least if you're doing well.
part of why i bounced off this game twice before actually completing the game was because losing in this game is miserable. you don't have to start all over from zone 1 (by default, anyways) but the experience of losing repeatedly means hearing the same songs with the same repetitive motions with the same enemies that just keep killing you because you keep putting yourself in bad positions.
it gets dull. really, really dull.
it's not just a "im bad at the game" thing. other rogue-likes with semi-complex gameplay loops like this one don't tend to make me feel bored in the same way, and i think it has to do with the core concept.
see, crypt of the necrodancer is a "rhythm game/dungeon crawler." all of your actions, which would normally be the dungeon crawling, are forced to follow the song's bpm. it's a novel concept, and one that got me interested in the game to begin with.
the thing is, i feel like the game designers spent a lot more time designing the "dungeon crawler" part than the "rhythm game" part. most of the difficulty emerges as a result of an enemy's specific design as opposed to how hard it is to hit notes. for most characters, you don't even need to hit all the notes unless you want to keep your money multiplier.
there are a couple instances where the rhythm element is focused on. that being bolt/coda, king conga, and the tempo up/down buttons, but all of these examples are sparse.
tempo up/down is basically just forcing you to either move faster or slower, either giving you less time to react or more time to react.
king conga is the only song in the game where the beats are not perfectly and evenly spaced out. i really, really wish more songs utilized something like this
bolt/coda is basically a living hyper tempo up button. you hit twice as many beats as normal. all this serves to do is to remove the strategic element of the game and forces you to act on impulse unless you're a top tier player of the game. i don't think most people are, frankly.
that's mostly it. most songs in the game have their notes be perfectly and evenly spaced out from one another. most runs are just mindlessly tap, tap, tapping to the rhythm. the only variation is in the songs themselves.
frankly, i think this is a wasted opportunity. give the actual rhythm part some significance! having more songs playing in different time signatures would go a long way to making the gameplay feel less monotonous. have it be so that maintaining your rhythm rewards you with more damage rather than just a coin multiplier.
but this is mostly why the game would be a soft 3/5 stars as opposed to a more solid 4. because the game, as is, is mostly solid. so why am i rating this 2 stars?
Enter: Aria
i cannot fathom Aria. in what world do you design a roguelike's story mode and have Aria be a required character to beat the main story? Imagine playing The Binding of Isaac and in order to see all of the main story content you have to play as Isaac, then Judas, then THE LOST and you can't finish the story unless you beat the game with all three characters. it's not impossible but why the hell would you gatekeep the last third of the story behind one of the hardest characters in the game?
i grit my teeth playing as Aria. it was baffling to me already but i powered through it and assumed it'd get easier as it went along. it did, to an extent. going from Zone 4 to Zone 1 meant that the difficulty waned a bit over time.
unfortunately, there was little I could do to prepare for the fight with the Golden Lute.
genuinely one of the worst final bosses i've ever had the displeasure of facing. Cadence and Melody had fights against the Necrodancer himself. while not ridiculously easy, it was the sort of difficulty i could practice my way out of.
The Golden Lute is not so simple. I practiced that fight over a hundred times and could only win a quarter of them, even when I knew what I was supposed to do. let's just ignore the fact that the best way to fight the Golden Lute is by playing the fight in the most boring way possible. y'know, once again having to do the monotonous "tap, tap, tapping" against a bounce pad so the boss happens to land next to me because Aria dies if you miss a note and thus normally you have to constantly move.
again, let's ignore that.
the boss's erratic movement patterns, the fact that most of your runs are dependent on a green skeleton knight not spawning in, and the esoteric method to actually landing a critical hit on the boss makes the entire fight a long, ridiculous chore. let's not forget that you have to complete the fight after a whole zone's worth of enemies while playing as the second-most fragile character in the game. but even when playing as a less fragile character the fight is only marginally less cumbersome.
also, whose idea was it to make the final boss move like a BAT
the dam broke when i fought the golden lute. all at once i had the thought of "why the fuck am i even doing any of this?" i was having mild fun, but the game spat in my mouth and told me i'd be having way more fun playing the game with my skin flayed off.
what's that? the amplified dlc? yeah, it's alright. i don't understand why some basic QoL features that werent dependent on dlc content had to be locked behind the dlc, but whatever. nocturna is pretty powerful, which works well for the difficulty of the dlc. frankensteinway and the conductor are both very difficult final bosses, but im not playing a character made of paper. zone 5 works well as an evolution of the dungeon crawler aspect of the game while, as per usual, not doing much for the rhythm game aspect. it's fine, like i said. more fun than the base game.
i think the song's about to end, so i'll just let it run out and ill drop into a new rogueli--
SONG ENDED!
had a lot of fun playing this while my toddler brother was dazzled by the wonder effects.
2D Mario is the sort of thing that is very much "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" but that's led to a lot of stagnation over the years. we haven't had a 2D Mario game that wasn't "new" since like... 2006?
anyways, this game isn't the revolutionary 2D Mario that discards conventions and does something crazy like giving Mario a glock, but it absolutely breathes new life into this genre of Mario game, primarily through the wonder effects.
these soft power-ups/environmental fucker-uppers help each level stand out more than they would otherwise. lots of music-themed effects, too, which tended to be my favorites. i also quite liked the shadow mario and weird elongation effects.
the only area where the game really sags is the boss fights. aside from the final boss being pretty good, everything else is either bowser jr. or an airship detonation. the latter of which i could probably do with my eyes closed, and the former just being kind of mediocre. i didn't mind the deep magma bog fight, though.
but these are small potatoes. i had a really good time! i hope subsequent 2D Mario games aren't afraid to break even further outside of conventions.
2D Mario is the sort of thing that is very much "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" but that's led to a lot of stagnation over the years. we haven't had a 2D Mario game that wasn't "new" since like... 2006?
anyways, this game isn't the revolutionary 2D Mario that discards conventions and does something crazy like giving Mario a glock, but it absolutely breathes new life into this genre of Mario game, primarily through the wonder effects.
these soft power-ups/environmental fucker-uppers help each level stand out more than they would otherwise. lots of music-themed effects, too, which tended to be my favorites. i also quite liked the shadow mario and weird elongation effects.
the only area where the game really sags is the boss fights. aside from the final boss being pretty good, everything else is either bowser jr. or an airship detonation. the latter of which i could probably do with my eyes closed, and the former just being kind of mediocre. i didn't mind the deep magma bog fight, though.
but these are small potatoes. i had a really good time! i hope subsequent 2D Mario games aren't afraid to break even further outside of conventions.
the epitome of "barebones, but fun," since most of the game is a rock-paper-scissors system with hard counters. it's like a couple steps above an idle game, but its not bad at all! i like setting landmines down and watching platoons of vikings eat shit and die
the only real shakeups usually happen if i'm playing on a flat island, i get attacked on three or more fronts, or if there are elite archers (seriously i hate those guys)
the only real shakeups usually happen if i'm playing on a flat island, i get attacked on three or more fronts, or if there are elite archers (seriously i hate those guys)
2023
gameplay that's designed in such a way so that your best defensive options are jumping repeatedly like you have springs in your legs
2023
This review contains spoilers
this is the most difficult negative review i've given.
it's so hard to say that i think this game is kind of mediocre, because so, so, SO much of it is worth your time that i think its worth people looking at regardless of quality.
i'll try to be clinical about this one, but first ill address the issue i have with the game that is sort of the root of many disappointments i have with the game: the hook.
it's not fair. i know it's not fair to judge a game for what it isn't rather than what it is. i know i wanted the game to be about you killing people and serving them as hamburgers because that's what the end of the demo implied. i know i wanted to see a story that was ABOUT keeping these horrible things from your three co-workers and the guilt that tore you up inside over it. the warioware sensibilities themselves would be almost a cruel mockery of what you did. the world stays twee and quirky despite the horrible thing you did.
but it wasn't about that. frankly, i don't think it was about anything.
right, clinical.
This game is exceptional in quite a few areas, and nearly all of them involve the game's audiovisual presentation.
The soundtrack, done by Andy himself along with nelward, the Gyms, Joe Aquiare, Barchboi and lizzy are all fantastic. Despite the wide range of composers, none of them ever felt out of place in any given situation. They all fit the surreal and absurd world of Knuckle Sandwich like a glove.
The visual style, the graphics, everything is presented with such candy-coated sweetness that even remembering some of the game's more questionable sections, I also remember how visually captivating the game's battle UI is, or the silly clay animations whenever you find a goblin, or even just the random, rainbow colored NPCs that speak gibberish to you. So much of this game is so, so wonderful to experience in the moment.
The game's combat centers around microgames, timed attacks, and timed dodges. I think the game succeeds at approximately 85-90% of the microgames, while the attack and dodge system never felt wrong to me. The game continually spices up the basic attack command through three different variants, all of which felt very satisfying to pull off (I got a x28 combo with the circle attack. Thank you, Hatsune Miku, for training me). The timed dodges, too, never felt non-intuitive. The moment I figured out an enemy's tell, I could always dodge their basic attacks.
ah
i really don't want to keep going
i really wish i could just stop and leave it there
it'd be so easy
but
There are two pillars of problems with Knuckle Sandwich as a game. That being its game design and its story.
Knuckle Sandwich's game design issues are cumulative in nature. A lot of small issues coagulating into major problems that make the gamefeel incredibly unusual. I'll list them here:
- Stat values feel almost entirely meaningless with the exception of your speed. This is the root of many of the game's issues regarding gamefeel.
- Buffing and debuffing skills, for the very few that exist, barely make any impact as a result.
- There is no skill that allows you to lower an enemy's Defense. This is a problem because of a point I will address later.
- There is no consistent curve of enemy Defense values, which means your attacks will rapidly oscillate between doing 20 damage to one enemy and then doing 1 damage to the next.
- There are never any shops when you actually need shops. I accumulated vast amounts of Fortune Rocks and rarely ever used them.
- The inventory system is genuinely abysmal. Each party member is given eight slots. The items that take up space include consumables, equipment, and key items.
- Armor and Weapons rarely make a significant difference in combat.
- Boss fights are more or less scripted encounters where the boss exhausts all of their dialogue and either reduces their Defense value drastically, or they remove the RPG elements entirely and just have the fight be a completely different game.
- Even in boss fights without these scripted elements, they are oftentimes meat sponges that will take upwards to fifteen turns to beat. This, to me, is unacceptable.
- The damage dealt by your special moves is oftentimes worse than your standard attack. Even if you perfect the microgame, you can easily outdo the damage without the EP cost by doing your timed attack.
- The defend action only recovers a single point of EP. This is completely worthless and only serves to waste an action.
- The only healing skill in the game heals 11 HP. This is almost completely worthless.
- Once you acquire all three party members, you cannot swap them out in combat if your party member has fallen. This, to me, defeats the point of that system.
- I only got one skill that afflicts a status effect. It never afflicted it once.
- Status effects feel meaningless when applied to enemies.
All of these issues are either the root of an issue or are the resulting issue. Even the novelty of new microgames with every fight wears thin when every fight feels at least two turns too long and there are so few skills I can use to meaningfully accelerate the rate of combat. It's hard to prepare for any given fight because there's so few equipment, and what equipment does exist barely makes a difference. I don't even want to use skills because the damage they do barely means anything, and there's a decent chance that doing high damage barely even matters in a boss fight anyways.
Perhaps it is a commentary on my lack of agency in the story. Let's talk about what the story actually is.
The game's hook, as I mentioned before, is perfect. After arriving in Bright City and going on a gameshow in an attempt to find a job, you are completely unqualified for anything and are forced to go elsewhere. You end up going to Gorilla Burger, a terrible fast food joint. At the end of the night, you're attacked by a knife-wielding gangster while taking out the trash, and you end up killing him. After the game's surrealism, this was a lurch. Even more of a lurch is when your boss witnesses a murder, and decides the best course of action is to cook him. It ends with him patenting this horrific act of cannibalism as the world's first...
Knuckle Sandwich.
It's flawless. It's immaculate. It doesn't come up again until the last hour of the game.
The actual story is that Bright City is in danger due to some sort of Anomaly. It's causing the world to go out of whack, and you need to figure out who's causing it. The problem is that a lot of people think that you're the Anomaly, and are trying to get rid of you as a result. There's also a group called the Brightfangs who have their own agenda. It's fairly self-evident early on that they are extremists working towards an ultimately positive end, and the people you and your co-workers ostensibly trust are actually not very trustworthy.
Oh, right. You deliver some food to a stupid billionaire named Mr. Apricot. He's useless, but you assume he's just some guy. There's also someone named Xander. He's a justice cop. He dies and was a stooge of the real villain, the gameshow host. He's the twist villain who is pulling the strings. Except it's actually his assistant, Prima. She's the real twist villain.
Throughout being pulled and crammed through all of these situations, there's barely a sense of friendship forming between you and your party members. This isn't an RPG where you get a character sidequest with your three co-workers that gives you some insight into them. They just exist alongside you. When the game killed them after revealing the second twist villain, I didn't feel much of anything. It was surprising, I suppose, but I knew they wouldn't commit to it. They didn't.
(Edit: There are apparently secret scenes that you get through means that are not intuitive to me and involve friendship variables. I saw the scene with Echo on YouTube. It was cute. It probably would've helped me feel a bit more for the characters. I wish they weren't so obscured.)
The point I'm getting at here is that none of this means anything. Nothing is ever developed to a satisfying conclusion. The final conclusion to the game is going back in time before the game began in order to rectify you killing the guy at the beginning and killing the Anomaly, the Tiny Baby, before it can do anything (also, the boss at Gorilla Burger had an arrangement with the gangster to kill employees and turn them into food beforehand. So it's not like the "world's first knuckle sandwich" was actually the world's first. He's been doing this the whole time to feed those rainbow colored NPCs. They're mutants, by the way. That was an okay twist that didn't amount to much).
Busdriver (the guy who occasionally pops in and goes "wow that's crazy anyways im working on goblins right now and spirit cells) helps you out at the very end and apologizes to you for ruining your life and dragging you through all of this. You're finally given the choice to either forgive him or not to forgive him, and then you can choose whether to stay in Bright City or work as his partner.
None of this means anything.
Your lack of agency in the plot is felt throughout the game in ways I would consider unintentional, and it is never directly addressed until the last minute of the game. I desperately wanted a moment where the protagonist acknowledged the ridiculousness of the plot and being shunted from place to place without any rhyme or reason. Even a brief moment of rebellion would've made it clear what a nightmare the experience was and would've given it more weight. The protagonist never did.
If the game was about overconsumption and capitalism, it failed at that, too. There was a brief flicker of hope when Prima, the second twist villain, casually asked for backup after the Anomaly escapes, and your party member asks "who's responsible for this," which she's been trying to figure out the entire game. Prima, at first, addresses the fact that there is no "one person" responsible for this. You think for a moment that she's pointing out that there is no "final boss of capitalism." It's a system. That might've saved it for me. But no. Prima is responsible for this. It's just her. She's the CEO of Capitalism, actually.
I'm still thinking about the hook.
Maybe it's actually fair to criticize the game for that hook. It had gold on a platter, showed it to me, then tossed it out in favor of semi-coherent surreal shenanigans. It's less of a "criticizing the game for what it isn't." That's more akin to watching a horror film and complaining it isn't funny enough. The film is about horror. Unless it makes itself known as a horror comedy, you can't really get mad that it isn't funny.
But attempting to be funny and failing in a horror movie would be perfectly reasonable grounds for criticizing it for that, in the same way introducing horror into a comedic game can be done poorly. If the horror is barely developed, either failing to be integrated into the game's comedy or failing to transform into its own, terrifying monster, then it fails.
You shouldn't have introduced it to begin with.
well
im gonna lie down. this was miserable. it's hard to convey how sullen this whole experience has made me.
sorry, andrew brophy
maybe next time
it's so hard to say that i think this game is kind of mediocre, because so, so, SO much of it is worth your time that i think its worth people looking at regardless of quality.
i'll try to be clinical about this one, but first ill address the issue i have with the game that is sort of the root of many disappointments i have with the game: the hook.
it's not fair. i know it's not fair to judge a game for what it isn't rather than what it is. i know i wanted the game to be about you killing people and serving them as hamburgers because that's what the end of the demo implied. i know i wanted to see a story that was ABOUT keeping these horrible things from your three co-workers and the guilt that tore you up inside over it. the warioware sensibilities themselves would be almost a cruel mockery of what you did. the world stays twee and quirky despite the horrible thing you did.
but it wasn't about that. frankly, i don't think it was about anything.
right, clinical.
This game is exceptional in quite a few areas, and nearly all of them involve the game's audiovisual presentation.
The soundtrack, done by Andy himself along with nelward, the Gyms, Joe Aquiare, Barchboi and lizzy are all fantastic. Despite the wide range of composers, none of them ever felt out of place in any given situation. They all fit the surreal and absurd world of Knuckle Sandwich like a glove.
The visual style, the graphics, everything is presented with such candy-coated sweetness that even remembering some of the game's more questionable sections, I also remember how visually captivating the game's battle UI is, or the silly clay animations whenever you find a goblin, or even just the random, rainbow colored NPCs that speak gibberish to you. So much of this game is so, so wonderful to experience in the moment.
The game's combat centers around microgames, timed attacks, and timed dodges. I think the game succeeds at approximately 85-90% of the microgames, while the attack and dodge system never felt wrong to me. The game continually spices up the basic attack command through three different variants, all of which felt very satisfying to pull off (I got a x28 combo with the circle attack. Thank you, Hatsune Miku, for training me). The timed dodges, too, never felt non-intuitive. The moment I figured out an enemy's tell, I could always dodge their basic attacks.
ah
i really don't want to keep going
i really wish i could just stop and leave it there
it'd be so easy
but
There are two pillars of problems with Knuckle Sandwich as a game. That being its game design and its story.
Knuckle Sandwich's game design issues are cumulative in nature. A lot of small issues coagulating into major problems that make the gamefeel incredibly unusual. I'll list them here:
- Stat values feel almost entirely meaningless with the exception of your speed. This is the root of many of the game's issues regarding gamefeel.
- Buffing and debuffing skills, for the very few that exist, barely make any impact as a result.
- There is no skill that allows you to lower an enemy's Defense. This is a problem because of a point I will address later.
- There is no consistent curve of enemy Defense values, which means your attacks will rapidly oscillate between doing 20 damage to one enemy and then doing 1 damage to the next.
- There are never any shops when you actually need shops. I accumulated vast amounts of Fortune Rocks and rarely ever used them.
- The inventory system is genuinely abysmal. Each party member is given eight slots. The items that take up space include consumables, equipment, and key items.
- Armor and Weapons rarely make a significant difference in combat.
- Boss fights are more or less scripted encounters where the boss exhausts all of their dialogue and either reduces their Defense value drastically, or they remove the RPG elements entirely and just have the fight be a completely different game.
- Even in boss fights without these scripted elements, they are oftentimes meat sponges that will take upwards to fifteen turns to beat. This, to me, is unacceptable.
- The damage dealt by your special moves is oftentimes worse than your standard attack. Even if you perfect the microgame, you can easily outdo the damage without the EP cost by doing your timed attack.
- The defend action only recovers a single point of EP. This is completely worthless and only serves to waste an action.
- The only healing skill in the game heals 11 HP. This is almost completely worthless.
- Once you acquire all three party members, you cannot swap them out in combat if your party member has fallen. This, to me, defeats the point of that system.
- I only got one skill that afflicts a status effect. It never afflicted it once.
- Status effects feel meaningless when applied to enemies.
All of these issues are either the root of an issue or are the resulting issue. Even the novelty of new microgames with every fight wears thin when every fight feels at least two turns too long and there are so few skills I can use to meaningfully accelerate the rate of combat. It's hard to prepare for any given fight because there's so few equipment, and what equipment does exist barely makes a difference. I don't even want to use skills because the damage they do barely means anything, and there's a decent chance that doing high damage barely even matters in a boss fight anyways.
Perhaps it is a commentary on my lack of agency in the story. Let's talk about what the story actually is.
The game's hook, as I mentioned before, is perfect. After arriving in Bright City and going on a gameshow in an attempt to find a job, you are completely unqualified for anything and are forced to go elsewhere. You end up going to Gorilla Burger, a terrible fast food joint. At the end of the night, you're attacked by a knife-wielding gangster while taking out the trash, and you end up killing him. After the game's surrealism, this was a lurch. Even more of a lurch is when your boss witnesses a murder, and decides the best course of action is to cook him. It ends with him patenting this horrific act of cannibalism as the world's first...
Knuckle Sandwich.
It's flawless. It's immaculate. It doesn't come up again until the last hour of the game.
The actual story is that Bright City is in danger due to some sort of Anomaly. It's causing the world to go out of whack, and you need to figure out who's causing it. The problem is that a lot of people think that you're the Anomaly, and are trying to get rid of you as a result. There's also a group called the Brightfangs who have their own agenda. It's fairly self-evident early on that they are extremists working towards an ultimately positive end, and the people you and your co-workers ostensibly trust are actually not very trustworthy.
Oh, right. You deliver some food to a stupid billionaire named Mr. Apricot. He's useless, but you assume he's just some guy. There's also someone named Xander. He's a justice cop. He dies and was a stooge of the real villain, the gameshow host. He's the twist villain who is pulling the strings. Except it's actually his assistant, Prima. She's the real twist villain.
Throughout being pulled and crammed through all of these situations, there's barely a sense of friendship forming between you and your party members. This isn't an RPG where you get a character sidequest with your three co-workers that gives you some insight into them. They just exist alongside you. When the game killed them after revealing the second twist villain, I didn't feel much of anything. It was surprising, I suppose, but I knew they wouldn't commit to it. They didn't.
(Edit: There are apparently secret scenes that you get through means that are not intuitive to me and involve friendship variables. I saw the scene with Echo on YouTube. It was cute. It probably would've helped me feel a bit more for the characters. I wish they weren't so obscured.)
The point I'm getting at here is that none of this means anything. Nothing is ever developed to a satisfying conclusion. The final conclusion to the game is going back in time before the game began in order to rectify you killing the guy at the beginning and killing the Anomaly, the Tiny Baby, before it can do anything (also, the boss at Gorilla Burger had an arrangement with the gangster to kill employees and turn them into food beforehand. So it's not like the "world's first knuckle sandwich" was actually the world's first. He's been doing this the whole time to feed those rainbow colored NPCs. They're mutants, by the way. That was an okay twist that didn't amount to much).
Busdriver (the guy who occasionally pops in and goes "wow that's crazy anyways im working on goblins right now and spirit cells) helps you out at the very end and apologizes to you for ruining your life and dragging you through all of this. You're finally given the choice to either forgive him or not to forgive him, and then you can choose whether to stay in Bright City or work as his partner.
None of this means anything.
Your lack of agency in the plot is felt throughout the game in ways I would consider unintentional, and it is never directly addressed until the last minute of the game. I desperately wanted a moment where the protagonist acknowledged the ridiculousness of the plot and being shunted from place to place without any rhyme or reason. Even a brief moment of rebellion would've made it clear what a nightmare the experience was and would've given it more weight. The protagonist never did.
If the game was about overconsumption and capitalism, it failed at that, too. There was a brief flicker of hope when Prima, the second twist villain, casually asked for backup after the Anomaly escapes, and your party member asks "who's responsible for this," which she's been trying to figure out the entire game. Prima, at first, addresses the fact that there is no "one person" responsible for this. You think for a moment that she's pointing out that there is no "final boss of capitalism." It's a system. That might've saved it for me. But no. Prima is responsible for this. It's just her. She's the CEO of Capitalism, actually.
I'm still thinking about the hook.
Maybe it's actually fair to criticize the game for that hook. It had gold on a platter, showed it to me, then tossed it out in favor of semi-coherent surreal shenanigans. It's less of a "criticizing the game for what it isn't." That's more akin to watching a horror film and complaining it isn't funny enough. The film is about horror. Unless it makes itself known as a horror comedy, you can't really get mad that it isn't funny.
But attempting to be funny and failing in a horror movie would be perfectly reasonable grounds for criticizing it for that, in the same way introducing horror into a comedic game can be done poorly. If the horror is barely developed, either failing to be integrated into the game's comedy or failing to transform into its own, terrifying monster, then it fails.
You shouldn't have introduced it to begin with.
well
im gonna lie down. this was miserable. it's hard to convey how sullen this whole experience has made me.
sorry, andrew brophy
maybe next time