there's a bit of fun to be had here, and it's not exactly pricey, but it doesn't capture the same kind of manic energy that vampire survivors did, and runs get kinda stale quickly.

ironically, part of why it isn't as good is BECAUSE its less automated. i think with vampire survivors there's a satisfaction in being able to just build your character high enough that they can literally stand still and screen wipe enemies. in 20 minutes, you basically always need to be firing. it's more difficult, for sure, but it doesn't have the same kind of payoff.

so im left wanting, is all. oh well.

i havent played this one recently but i did play it a long while ago and since im currently playing the remake of the game i wanted to give my 2 cents on the original

one of the earlier games that really went all in on the "meta" stuff, and i think the feeling of holding a small, fragile world in your hands is conveyed incredibly well by the literal "oneshot" nature of the game. i don't think another game has quite gotten this same level of ludonarrative resonance, probably because having such dire consequences for quitting the game is a potentially alienating creative choice. however, i think it works beautifully in this game.

i'm a bit sad that this isn't carried over into the remake, but i also understand why you can't really do that if you're selling it for 10 dollars USD.

the game's got just enough worldbuilding for oneshot's setting to stay with me and the characters are fleshed out just enough for their purpose. the defining character, of course, being niko. he's an incredibly lovable little fella and you feel bad for the poor kid with how much of a burden he's carrying.

the puzzles vary between typical adventure game style item crafting and the unusual meta puzzles that for its time are pretty cool and interesting.

all in all, the game is a fairly short but very powerful experience. i won't spoil the final choice of the game, but even though i knew which one i felt was right to choose very quickly, it was still one of the hardest choices in a game i've ever had to make.

you'll have to forgive me for lying a bit by putting "mastered" here, there is no way to master this game. it just breaks you until you just wanna stop playing

anyways i have a hard time loving this game despite the positives, and i think most people already know it has problems. gameplay is great, atmosphere is, music is amazing, rest in peace to whoever wrote the first game's story since he clearly got shot to death by miyamoto after giving rosalina a backstory

so instead im gonna rank the bosses (based on prosafia gaming's video i guess)! enjoy:

17) mandibug stack: fucking why

16) bowser #3: okay so the first phase is fine but the true final battle is so insulting that i can't rank this highly at all. are you fucking kidding me? you're gonna make one of the greatest final boss tracks play during THIS fight? holy hell what a letdown

15) squizzard: this boss isnt technically as bad as some of the others but im legitimately offended they gave THIS boss the daredevil comet. it's pathetically easy and has really lame animations. what the fuck is a squizzard, dude

14) sorbetti: zzzzz

13) bugaboom: this is one of the more unusual choices for "bosses we really gotta bring back." it's basically the same fight idk

12) gobblegut: Ohhhhh, Gobblegut... Dinner's on! Don't forget to protect your bellyache bulges!

11) rollodillo: weirdly this boss is a lot harder to hit the first time and then after that its really really easy. weird, but i like using the rock mushroom

10) peewee piranha: basically the same as dino piranha despite the differences? i guess its fine

9) fire gobblegut: unlike fiery dino piranha this recolor mostly just makes the boss more confusing. it's fine, though, and is definitely more difficult

8) prince pikante: a cute reference to the first game. real easy, though, especially for taking place this late into the game

7) whomp king: this one's a cute reference to super mario 64. simple by design, it's perfectly functional as a boss, even if its real late into the game

6) giga lakitu: not difficult but aiming the shells can be a little tricky. i like the drum beat he does when doing the lightning attack

5) glamdozer: psyching this boss out is actually pretty fun. just a good, solid boss fight

4) digga leg: fun little callback to the first game. nowhere near as cool, but its lots of fun for an early game boss

3) bowser jr.'s boomsday machine: this is the megaleg of galaxy 2. the tank reveal is still awesome even after all these years

2) bowser #1 and #2: i actually like these a bit more than the bowser fights in 1. wasn't expecting that.

1) megahammer: the absolute PEAK of this game. amazing ost and boss design. i only wish the fight could've lasted longer. this shit's so cool

0) bubble blast galaxy (is not in this game)

you'll have to forgive me for lying a bit by putting "mastered" here, i didn't do super luigi galaxy because i love this game but not enough to do the whole game again a second time in a row

anyways i love this game despite the hiccups, and i think most people already know it slaps. gameplay is great, atmosphere is great, music is great, rest in peace to whoever wrote the story since he clearly got shot to death by miyamoto after giving rosalina a backstory

so instead im gonna rank the bosses (based on prosafia gaming's video i guess)! enjoy:

21) mandibug stack: this is not a boss, get outta here

20) topmaniac #2: this one is identical to the first one but it happens in the literal penultimate galaxy so i hate it

19) baron brrr: of all the things to make a boss of, why these enemies?? idk

18) topmaniac #1: uhhhh

17) bugaboom: kinda lame and really easy

16) tarantox: i forgot this was a boss

15) undergrunt gunner #2: undergrunt gunner (this one is worse because it made me use spring mario)

14) undergrunt gunner #1 and #3: undergrunt gunner

13) kamella #2: doesn't feel rehashed like some of the other bosses but the new setting doesnt do much to make this boss any harder

12) major burrows: pretty easy but neat. i got scared by him trying to claw at you as a kid.

11) kamella #1: pretty fun for the part of the game you fight her in. im not sure why she wasnt the one that sent mario flying in the intro though

10) dino piranha: good first boss. easy but it's a nice introduction

9) king kaliente #1: slaps

8) king kaliente #2: a good evolution of the first fight but really weird as a grand star battle. still, its a good fight.

7) bowser jr.: why do you fight him second, i don get it

6) bowser #1 and #2: these fights feel the same, they're both good

5) megaleg: ok this one is easy but the spectacle and the music really save it

4) fiery dino piranha: actually not a rehash. it's cool to fight a souped up version of the first boss that's legitimately challenging

3) bowser #3: really good finale but i wish the final phase took three hits instead of two so i could hear the theme longer. its always sad when its over too fast

2) bouldergeist: this boss is so cool!!! the daredevil variant is honestly pretty tricky if you arent careful, and the normal variant is just hard enough for where its placed in the game

1) kingfin: absolute peak. love this terrifying bastard. this has the stage presence of megaleg with more difficulty to match. easily my favorite.

0) bubble blast galaxy

interesting playing a couple mario karts in a row and you notice the little things

first of all, fuck manual mode drifting. the drift in wii feels so wrong and you can get by without mini-turbos. don't even bother, honestly.

the game in general feels a lot looser? no more problems like in double dash where an ai will lock themselves in first place, the turns are a lot wider (unless you're in manual, fml) and all the items let you more easily recover from bad positions.

but uh, about those items, they kinda suck? not because they aren't effective, but because wii has successfully created the opposite problem of double dash. now that everyone can easily recover from last place to jet back into first, being in first place is INCREDIBLY tenuous. the blue shell, lightning, the pow block, star, giant mushroom, and the goddamn bullet bill are game derailing items. if you're playing casually its not particularly fun to get bombarded over and over, but its just something you come to accept. if you're trying to, let's say, get unlocks, it is murderously annoying to do well and end up botching it at the last second due to circumstances that are objectively not in your control.

choices, choices. do i prefer the game where i can easily win back my position, but just as easily lose it? or the one where if i start losing i'll most certainly keep losing? to be honest, the experience with both is very similar, though i'll admit my biases and say that being given the taste of victory before losing it tends to sting more.

but i think the real lynchpin here is multiplayer. playing mario kart wii with friends replicates the same issues that single player has. you can do very well but have your position fucked by a chain of game derailing items.

but in double dash? not so simple. the problem with THAT game is that the ai will deliberately cheat you. if you're doing a simple versus mode with friends? they're just as prone to error as you are. at that point, it really is just a matter of skill. not to say that game is devoid of powerful items that can derail your position, that's the spice. mario kart wii just has... far too much spice. double dash though? the fact that your spiciest items are dependant moreso on your choice of racers makes it a lot more interesting.

also, im annoyed at how the time trial unlocks do not have definitive times for unlocking the fast staff ghosts, and i wish you got your time trial unlocks right when you met the conditions as opposed to going back to the title screen and re-entering your profile. that's more of a nitpick, but it bugged me. (also the fact that the message for unlocking fast staff ghosts is not clearly indicated to you in the same way unlocks are)

i'll end with a bit of praise, i think the game feels amazing to play if you manage to really figure out the controls. using bikes may be overpowered, but landing tricks and doing wheelies consistently is a wonderful feeling and rainbow road is one of my favorite tracks in wii despite the difficulty for just how exhilarating it feels to play.

so yeah, mario kart wii is fun, feels good to play for the most part, and i wouldnt mind playing with friends, but double dash is superior as a multiplayer experience and i prefer the strategic value of character choice in that game. both are comparably frustrating as completionist experiences, but double dash ultimately edges out wii for the aforementioned reasons.

(edit: I WILL SAY THOUGH that wii definitely has more consistently banger courses. coconut mall alone sweeps the best tracks in double dash imo, and its flanked by several other amazing courses like maple treeway and koopa cape)

really fun and i wish modern mario kart had a "double dash mode" and we could bring back some of these awesome combo items but holy shit if you're trying to 100% this game the ai cheats like a bastard

goes BEYOND rubberbanding and into the territory of like, outrunning chain chomps and red shells or getting a starting boost faster than a double dash boost in co-op

which is worse because if the ai racers end up in 1st and you given them like, five seconds, you will never get first unless you REALLY luck into a good item like golden mushroom with the toads

still, a fantastic game with tight controls and (mostly) banger courses

well then

So my critiques from the Painful - Definitive Edition still apply here. Gamefeel in combat is kinda weird. I'd argue a bit less so, but it's still there.

Unlike with Painful, I do think this is the best version of the game to play. While Painful mostly saw changes in the fluff, stuff like party member interactions and whatnot, Joyful has received a few small mechanical changes that drastically alter the quality of the game's combat.

The new warlord abilities are excellent. Chef's kiss. Not all of them are of equal use, but they allow Buddy to better act as a solo party member and are good enough that you could actually do a Joyless run of the game, which was previously considered the incorrect way to play and an absolute slog if you tried. Now? I kinda love doing this game Joyless. It's way more fun than I was expecting and you're going to need to do it Joyless to access the new content.

I guess they called it a "sidequest." That's a term for it. My first major issue with LISA: The Joyful - Definitive Edition is that the new content is INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT TO FIND. I mean, sure, we live in the era of just looking shit up on the internet, but this is a whole other level. You're forced to solve an incredibly esoteric series of puzzles, some of which require you to have prior knowledge of LISA: The First and the secret content in LISA: The Painful - Definitive Edition. LISA: The First isn't included in the Definitive Edition, so some players will just have absolutely no idea where to even begin.

But to swing back to complimenting the game, I do think the new content is very good. Same as with Painful. It feels more focused than the original, tying together much more nicely both with the overall story of LISA and the new content in Painful. It goes in a few bold directions that I'll admit I'm not entirely a fan of. Without spoiling, there is a specific line that is meant to highlight a character's immaturity and cowardice that ended up taking me out of the experience. Even so, I think the broad strokes are incredibly well done. Fortune favors the bold.

The problem is that if you don't seek out any of this additional content, the story of Joyful is identical to the original. It still feels unfocused trying to resolve the unanswered questions of the original and concluding the arcs of several major characters. This wouldn't be such a problem were the new content easier to find, but for the majority of players who want to go in blind, they're going to be playing through the same, incredibly flawed story that the original had, just with better gameplay. Maybe that's enough for some people, but I wish it weren't so.

This is definitely a better game than the original LISA: The Joyful, and I would consider this game great, but it isn't a masterpiece even with the changes. And if you don't know where to look to get the meat of the content, then you'll end up with a worse experience.

Now I am done with LISA.

For now.

zzz

LISA: The Painful is one of my favorite games ever made, so this rating is a surprisingly bitter one that I'm forced to make.

The story? Oh no nothing's wrong there. Everything writing-wise, both old and new, are top notch. The secret content is beautifully written (here's a tip, try resting at the very first campfire once you've acquired all the boat parts in Area 3) and it ties together well into the secret content of LISA: The Joyful - Definitive Edition. All in all, it's a great package deal.

but

This Unity remake is marred by a number of minor flaws that all come together to make certain experiences feel less... weighty. Many of the sound effects feel less punchy than they used to. Some of the battle animations happen too fast. Some attacks don't even register properly, meaning certain storytelling moments in combat (which I will not spoil) lose the weight and impact that they had previously.

It's genuinely unfortunate that I have to discuss this at all because I am incredibly sympathetic to Dingaling and Serenity Forge. Remaking an RPGMaker game in Unity while retaining the feel of the original game and allowing for Austin to use the new engine for some new, creative sequences (see my earlier hint if you would like to learn more). Even so, it's a criticism I really hoped upon release that I wouldn't have to make.

They're still patching the game, so it's not as if these problems will necessarily be around forever, and hell, the overworld itself is translated near flawlessly. It's just in combat where the problems lie. I really hope it gets fixed up so I can give this version of the game the five star rating it deserves.

So which should you play? The original? Definitive?

Honestly, I would almost argue playing both. Do one run in the original game, then do a run in Definitive. Definitive adds new content that is 1000% worth playing despite the hiccups, but I think that a first time player would be losing something if they only played Definitive and not the legacy version. It's a tough sell, but I think this game is just that good. I literally played it twice in two days. It's the kind of game I relish.

But I think it's time I give LISA a rest....

is what I would say if I didn't have something to say about the Joyful!!!

after 166.9 hours and 54/65 achievements done i can definitively say i am exhausted with this game

the moment to moment gameplay is excellent, as is the new tokens system which i think is a step up from the first game, as are the new skills and paths you can use with each class. it's the reason why the score is only middling and not somewhere in the depths.

this game is held severely back by one major issue. this game is torn by its ties to the original game and its desire to be a rogue-like, and thus doesn't manage to do either as well as it should.

most runs in darkest dungeon 2 takes a minimum of two hours and can get up to three. if you're very lucky (or are just doing the denial chapter) then you might get away with an hour. but do you know what i could do in one hour in another rogue-like? I could do a full run of The Binding of Isaac: Repentance. If you want a turn-based RPG rogue-like example, look no further than Hieronymus Bosch's Brutal Orchestra.

that's a good comparison piece, actually. Brutal Orchestra has a system similar to the stagecoach in that it is a UI where you choose one of so many paths in order to fight enemies, find items, etc. you know what it doesn't have? a long and drawn out stagecoach trawl where the only benefit is running over road debris to potentially get items. in Brutal Orchestra, you can go down paths quickly and near instantly and as such, runs in Brutal Orchestra at most only take about an hour. if you're not good at the game? An hour and a half. keep in mind that 1.5 hours is a generous time for how long DD2 runs last generally at minimum.

you know what else Brutal Orchestra doesn't have? five minutes of set-up before you can get into the meat of the game. must I do the fights in The Valley every time? must I ride through the stagecoach and in order to go through the Altar of Hope, to select the chapter of the game I want to play, and to pick my heroes? was all of that necessary when all of it could be condensed into one or two menus?

but here's the twist, hypothetical reader, and the twist is that all of this micromanagement and time-wasting was in the first game. you know what the first game also had? permanent and meaningful upgrades you could funnel resources into.

to be fair to the game, they sort of tried to do this, but it was a half measure. the two forms of progression that you retain between runs (ignoring chapter completion itself) is the Altar of Hope and the Memories.

the former is a sort of replacement for the Hamlet in the first game. you use candles of hope in order to unlock items for future runs. you also can pay some candles to receive benefits that will make runs easier, but it's not enough. a bizarre feature of the system is that when you unlock new items, you will start your next run with them in your inventory, but only for that run. that's odd, i thought, that they would give you a potentially busted trinket for free.

then i had another thought, why the fuck didn't the game let you use your remaining candles of hope to buy trinkets or inn items at the Altar of Hope if you are in excess, as opposed to having it fill a useless score meter? make it crazy expensive if you'd like, but it would be an easy way to keep candles of hope relevant even after you've unlocked all the items. it would make heroes feel less crippled when starting new runs.

speaking of heroes, the Memories system. it's a wash. this is the attempt by the game to recreate the "persistent heroes" from the original in a manner i can only call baffling. keep in mind that runs will often last at least two hours and that Memories reset upon death, so the marginal buffs you give your party are rendered useless by one errant critical hit. and it wouldn't be so bad, y'know, those errant crits, except each hero can only have one set of memories and you can't take duplicates into runs. you wanna play a run with your highwayman with three memories? why would you ever risk them going out unless you want them getting a new memory? in which case, hope you don't get fucked over by RNG because that's potentially six to eight hours of lost character.

this does not feel the same as it did in DD1. each hero, whether they were dupes or not, had their own personality to me. the quirks remained, as did the skills i preferred to equip on them, and they had experiences they lived through in these runs. y'know why losing them felt tragic, and not nearly as shitty as it does in this game? because i know there are other heroes, likely ones of the same class as the dead hero, who can take their place and i might even find heroes in the stagecoach with a decently high starting level so i don't feel so utterly crippled by death.

permanent trinkets, too, helped lessen the burden of death, because you were always getting something that lasts from a run so long as you don't run away without retrieving it or party wipe. in DD2, you can only win or party wipe. splendid.

were the game more like a rogue-like, they would cut out all of the filler in between the parts you actually enjoy, ie: the combat, and would just let you do that.

were the game more like darkest dungeon, long term progression would be more permanent, as opposed to locking it to future run items and minor buffs to the run that became invisible to me very quickly.

but i did play it for a while, so i must've enjoyed some of it. near the end, however, i really couldn't care less. red hook's body of work has been laid bare and i think it could use some polishing up. maybe DD3 will commit to the rogue-like bit or return to form. either way, i would probably like it better. keep the new tokens system though, i am quite fond of that.

i will gladly move on to playing Fear & Hunger 2, which is a game where i also get killed by RNG and potentially lose hours of progress and goddammit