One of the coolest most underrated indie titles ever made. It lost indie game of the year 2020 because I unfortunately didn’t discover it until 2021 but it would have been high on my list for that honor had I played it on release. It’s got some of the most disturbingly gorey pixel art I’ve seen in a game and it’s glorious. I honestly want to see more low poly games get graphic like this! The gameplay loop is frustrating and yet so rewarding. It’s not only just solving puzzles but also memorizing the order in which to solve said puzzles which makes it uniquely difficult. Also it’s on a time limit so even more stress is piled on while playing. I feel like the story telling done here is incredible as well. Each ending expands on members of the family and what the house has done to them. The house’s own lore is so interesting and complex as well for such a small game. The DLC also greatly expands on everything that was great about the base game. It’s just an unapologetically intense game that left me with a super unique experience. I am VERY excited to see a sequel of this assuming that’s where Bark Bark Games is heading. Oh also I love the sound design and music. Tabby fan 4 life! ❤️❤️❤️

A genuine love letter to gaming - specifically the fifth and sixth generations - that champions the virtue of video games as social conduits without ever making it explicit in its text. It Takes Two is perhaps the apex of Girlfriend Gaming, but also acknowledges the general magnetic pull of video games as shared experiences that draw us together - and this is an experience that can be easily enjoyed with partners, pals and family.

The story seems to be getting a rough reception from players here, but I appreciated a new game that isn’t yet another low-fantasy fable about finding the Amulet of Kwisatz-Haderach to prevent The Third Reckoning or whatever. Sure, other games have tried the romance genre on for size, but it’s almost always about the early blossoms of teenage and pseudoteenage lust-love affairs - Twitter oft-demonstrates that games writers and “narrative designers” are still emotionally and intellectually 15 years old, so it shouldn’t come as much surprise that divorce and parenthood are still remote concepts for video game stories. As a bumbling stay-at-home dad partnered up with a 12-hour-working doctor who’s constantly on a career-induced brain-edge, perhaps my girlfriend and I are just easy marks for this slight, specific Mrs. Doubtfire-esque story about a long-term adult relationship struggling to keep its flame alive, but I thought it was softly thoughtful, sincere and well-intentioned. I agree that the dialogue is over-resplendent with Uncharted-isms (“No no no NO!” “Oh ya GOTTA be kiddin me!”), but please give Hazelight some credit for managing to fill a 12-hour experience with a near-constant stream of dialogue that doesn’t often make you wanna claw your ears out - a rare, praiseworthy feat for any video game.

Reviewing the “gameplay” here is nigh-on impossible - taking this thing apart would be like individually analysing the content of every microgame in a WarioWare title - so I’ll just echo the general consensus and say that it’s incredibly impressive how freely this thing leaps branch-to-branch in a wide, shallow forest of genre and styles filled with obvious but welcome homage. As a long-term gamer working side-by-side with a new recruit, I took a lot of pleasure in telling my partner about Mario Sunshine and Diablo II and Dance Dance Revolution. FULL JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY DISCLOSURE: When I found the Ocarina of Time room, Josef Fares may as well have handed me a crisp $100 bill, patted me on the arse and sent me on my way. I’m an easy mark.

Was this thing too corny? Probably. Is it too long? Definitely. Did I have a lot of fun sharing a video game with some I care about? Absolutely - and that’s more valuable than what I thought of the dialogue or specific mechanics. I think this is a perfect example of a game that defies rational critique by virtue of its virtues and a commitment to doing things a little bit differently - and in the midst of a medium that’s constantly trying to deconstruct and twist and prove its own maturity by doing the same thing for Sad Dads again and again, something that speaks sincerely holds genuine, unironic value to me.

And the award for biggest disappointment of 2023 goes tooooooo....

This game is another example in Bethesda's journey into making lifeless boring games and losing touch with what made their games magic in the first place. When I first played Fallout 3, my first Bethesda game, the thing that hooked me instantly was the landscape and how in whichever direction I went in the world, I was bound to find something interesting. That doesn't exist in Starfield and let's be honest, that is what makes or breaks a Bethesda RPG. The exploration is boring as hell with planets basically being made up of the same auto-generated crap and you spend hours walking around in boring landscapes that just makes everything feel like a chore to do.

The quests are boring, the characters are boring, the gameplay is boring. The only thing Starfield does right in fact is its lore which is a shock for Bethesda. The background of the Colony Wars and such was so interesting but the unfortunate thing is that took place all before the game, so you don't get to experience any of it. You just get given these boring fetch quests around uninspiring worlds that have no effect on your playthrough or character.

The mechanics are Fallout 4 reskinned meaning they are still rubbish. They changed the dialogue back, which you would think is good (because that Fallout 4 dialogue choice was horrendous), but no it still manages to be underutilised and bland. And don't get me started about the new persuasion mechanic, it's hideous. The gunplay is still Fallout 4 so nothing new or changed. Even the weapon models and animations are just Fallout 4 ones, it is such a lazy design. And the loading screens, THE DAMN LOADING SCREENS. You can’t go two damn minutes without being interrupted by a loading screen, it totally ruins the immersion. Look at Spider-Man 2 for comparison and it’s embarrassing for Bethesda.

All in all, Starfield has none of the magic Elder Scrolls and Fallout have and this makes it a boring slugfest to play. I'm shelving this for now but I don't really have any plans to return to it. I'm just worried about Elder Scrolls VI now, don't f*ck it up Todd

After 80+ hours of Red Dead Redemption 2, a question pops up in one’s mind:
In the process of making a game that examines the fall of the American frontier and the decline of the Wild West, did the irony register at all with Rockstar that they were also making a game about the end of the triple A design structure that has plagued the medium ever since the birth of the 7th gen?

Regardless of what pre-established biases one might come into RDR2 about the value of graphical fidelity and closeness to real life and focus on cinematic design and film language in games, it’s impossible not to be impressed by Rockstar’s commitment to the simulation of realism. Your character will meticulously grab each item he loots and place it in his satchel, craft each new tonic or bullet one at a time with detailed animations, remove and place his weapons on his horse whenever you switch them up, shuffle dominoes and grab each piece one by one in every game, and skin every hunted animal with gruesome detail and carry them on his back to his horse every single time. NPCs all have their per-determined schedules that happen regardless of your presence or not, wild animals behave accordingly to their nature and even hunt other species, and every mundane action, be it taking a shower, mounting a camp, cleaning your guns, or brushing your horse, carry a level of detail and weight never before seen in a blockbuster game. It also boasts one of the most beautiful environments to walk around, filled with detail and big expansive nature landmarks, frequently creating moments of awe as you ride around the mountains and landscape.

This level of realism is further elevated in the gang’s camp, where you have a group of misfits you can deal with daily and who all have their respective quirks, goals and actions. Rarely will you hear the same line of dialogue from these characters in the course of 80 hours, and the impressive amount of scenes and conversations that occur not only between your character and them, but also between themselves, means that you will finish the game without experiencing half of the camp scenes that happen dynamically and without feeling like scripted events. When you find yourself around a campfire with your gang after a well succeeded mission, being able to join in the singing and festivities with them, suddenly all the effort in creating a realistic world comes together and for a few seconds the immersion is achieved and one feels like he is a part of a fully realized world and that these characters are tangible and real.

It’s unfortunate then that each time you get into a story mission, that effort is collapsed and you are thrown back into the videogame. What was once acceptable in RDR1 now feels incredibly dated and restrictive, with the usual design structure of having you ride to the mission on horseback and having a chat with an NPC while you follow a yellow line, following every single instruction the game tells you without any chance to deviate from it, waiting for something to inevitably go wrong, and then shooting a comical number of enemies that spawn out of nowhere like a NES game until everyone is dead. Rinse, and repeat. The level of realism found in the open world aspects of RDR2 only serves to call attention to how detached and out of touch the story missions are, leading to incredibly absurd scenes where the main character chastises a crew member for killing too many people during a story cutscene, when you the player yourself have been forced to kill 50 people during a house robbery just the previous mission.

What ends up happening is that most of the stuff you will be doing in the open world won’t matter at all because that would be stepping on the story’s toes. Regardless of how much money you have or how much you have contributed to the camp and NPCs, nothing will have effect on how the story will progress, with the exception of a very simplistic and outdated Honor system. This in turn inevitably leads to the open world map feeling like just a bunch of lines between check marks to fill, with the occasional scripted event to deviate you, but not much!, from the beaten path, and the rare exploration quest that happens when the game decides you should. Even the act of hunting an animal in the wilderness is affected by Rockstar’s grip on your hand, having a highlighted line on the ground that flashes and leads perfectly to your prey. The simulation aspects end up being surface level mechanics used to visually impress the player, not really influencing in any meaningful way either the gameplay or the story. It’s all shallow spectacle.

Which is a shame, because RDR2 has one of the most compelling videogame characters ever created. Arthur Morgan’s story takes a very contemplative and introspective direction in it’s final act, as he finds out he doesnt have much time left in this world, and it leads to some of the most interesting and emotional moments that Rockstar has ever created. Arthur’s effort in making something out of the few life he has left ends up influencing the player’s action outside of the story, and in one of the most poignant and humane moments in the whole game, you are forced to lay down your controller for a few secs, as Arthur requests a moment from you so he can catch his breath, something that makes the player care and empathize with a bunch of polygons much more than any cutting edge cutscene in the whole game could. Even the act of playing the last stretch of the game mimics Arthur’s new perspective, the missions feeling like a slog to go through, Dutch becoming increasingly frustrating, repetitive and annoying to be around, and the creativity being lesser and lesser, which would have been an interesting and insightful direction, had that actually been the intention by Rockstar. But RDR2 is adamant in separating the story from the gameplay, even bafflingly inserting black bars on top and bottom of the screen each time control is removed from the player, as if to signal that it’s now movie time and no time for interactivity. Regardless of all the issues with the story and gameplay, Arthur’s story is enough to carry the whole game on it’s back, and any player invested in his tale will have a hard time not getting emotional at the gut-wretching ending.

But then the game continues. For 5 more hours. And it’s at this point that the dam breaks and the flaws of the game become full center and aren’t easy to ignore anymore. The epilogue, which lacks any self awareness as it presents itself as a two parter, drags it’s way into a fan pandering ending, filled with needless shooting, redundant subplots, and characters that completely undermine the impact of the actual ending of the game. We can’t have a simple mission about just herding some sheeps, shopping with a friend, or fly a hot air ballon. No, every mission has to have a bloody battle with a body count that would make Stalin jealous, because Rockstar cannot bear the idea that some players might be bored if there isnt anything to shoot at. During an exchange between Morgan and an NPC the screen fades to black as they start talking about their lives, as if to spare the player from all those “boring details”, instead leading straight to the action once more. Rockstar can’t bear the thought of giving more opportunities for normal interactions between the player and the NPCs, while I sit here thinking about how one of my favorite missions was when I crossed the whole map to see a character I was fond of, only to get a kiss and that being the end of the mission.

RDR2 is a bloated game that can’t read a room on when’s it’s time to bow down and stop the show, deciding instead to outstay it’s welcome for an absurd amount of time, like an old frail man clawing at the last moments before his time to move on. And maybe it’s also time for Rockstar to move on, and let ideas of cinematic grandeur and realism in videogames finally lay rest once and for all.

The Last Walking Sons of Dead Anarchy

You've played this a million times before. A middling Sony first-party third-person feelings shooter. So much of it feels very abrupt. Cutscenes with a real start/stop vibe to them. Radio calls that are obviously meant to have large gaps of time between them just triggering one after the other. It's jarring.

The story is aboot as deep as a puddle. You can see every beat coming a mile away, and the writing is dodgy to the point where plenty of interactions don't make a lot of sense. It's just very by the numbers and boring.

Even the enemies become tedious after a short while. More of an annoyance to progress than anything scary or exciting. I'm sick of hiding in fuckin' bushes.

I inflicted this game on myself for 60 hours. At least it was free.