Soldier4Christ
1996
This game is trash on console but on emulator? It becomes the best version of itself. The best version of itself might not be enough for some, but it is really cool.
Play this in Duckstation at least 2x upscale and a good controller. Map the D-PAD controls to the left analog stick, camera pan controls to the right analog stick. Enjoy.
Play this in Duckstation at least 2x upscale and a good controller. Map the D-PAD controls to the left analog stick, camera pan controls to the right analog stick. Enjoy.
2017
This game isn't gonna blow you away but it does everything well and is 100% recommendation to those who enjoyed Mario Golf on GBA or anyone who enjoys yelling at some geese.
2017
Shut the fuck up and kick my ass so I can eat more food.
2019
This game fucking suuuuuuuuuuuucks so bad. I do mean like really bad. It has the worst AI I've seen in a game published by a major studio, it has a massive amount of bugs -- but I love it so much. It's a beautiful trainwreck of good ideas and bad gameplay.
I have warm feelings about this game despite me hating nearly every second of playing it. It is one of those it's so bad it's good pieces of media, so if that's your bag, pick this one up for 49 cents or whatever it goes for on sale. A guy gave me his PS4 copy for free because he was so pissed off about it and it had a low resale value lmao.
I have warm feelings about this game despite me hating nearly every second of playing it. It is one of those it's so bad it's good pieces of media, so if that's your bag, pick this one up for 49 cents or whatever it goes for on sale. A guy gave me his PS4 copy for free because he was so pissed off about it and it had a low resale value lmao.
2011
This game did everything right except the checkpoint system but whatever this game is called Hard Core Prolapsing for a reason. Funny enough the samurai, who is the only character who does not have a big gun, is the best class.
2005
This game is rough but I can't help but be charmed by the production value put into this game. The world is on the generic side by today's standards but areas and some characters are pretty cool. This era of Bioware was really feeling themselves with the bloom effect, the fucked up combat and trying to shove as many white people doing Asian accents as possible.
The combat is really...something. If you play fighting games you'll know when to block and dodge and smack people up. Fights hardly ever change in dynamic so it kind of just becomes this limp experience in between soaking up lore and environments. Just shove all your points into Thousand Cuts and then melt everyone.
To not sound like a complete asshole who hates fun, check out this ol easter egg I do every time I replay the game where the gods explode the gambling den guy if you save scum the gambling section
The combat is really...something. If you play fighting games you'll know when to block and dodge and smack people up. Fights hardly ever change in dynamic so it kind of just becomes this limp experience in between soaking up lore and environments. Just shove all your points into Thousand Cuts and then melt everyone.
To not sound like a complete asshole who hates fun, check out this ol easter egg I do every time I replay the game where the gods explode the gambling den guy if you save scum the gambling section
I beat it. Got most of the costumes. Enjoyed my time with it. There's a lot of "A-ha! Bet you've never seen THAT before!" moments that delight and inspire. Yet, the whole time I was thinking that this could be better with a more fleshed out world and story. If Nintendo did this again with a more powerful system, who knows what we could see? Maybe a game with a story?
Look, it's got addictive gameplay loops and moments that activate a child-like sense of wonder and exploration. Though the variety of objectives the game gives you can to do with your new powers isn't enough. If I have to make another fucked up wooden abomination so that penis-headed guy can hold up a sign of the penis-headed boss construction company, I will die.
They remixed the BOTW map to keep it from being stale, but the world simply isn't detailed enough in texture and variety as I would like. Blah blah the Switch isn't powerful enough blah blah. The world class programmers and engineers they got to make this game look as good as it does at 24fps is an Olympian feat. At the end of the day though, it's just a cover up job for aging specs.
Nintendo put a lot of cinematography and thought in some of the littlest moments, but this game does not have a story. I know you might argue with me on that, but like, there isn't. After awhile, all I could think about when a character spoke was "Oh this game is going to be released in every region in the world and the dialogue has to be as simple as possible so it could be easily translated". It's so milquetoast and anything anyone says is 95% barely-flavored flavor text.
Every new character is cool but they don't have anything interesting to say or do in the grand scheme of things. The past characters are dead and exist in unsatisfying flashback scenes. The new companions are likable, but they literally all have the same lines of dialogue during their big scenes. All of them say the same exact thing in the same exact delivery when they make contact with their ancestors. They lose all personality after you complete their original arcs. EVEN MY BOY SIDON. Prince Sidon has the lamest power and you barely get any bro time with him because Nintendo hates you. The companions of Breath of the Wild had WAY more personality. Rivali was a jerk who had a one-sided rivalry with Link. Daruk is the embodiment of a big ass, loud and proud Goron. Urbosa awakened a dommy mommy kink in like a million people. Mipha was there? Their replacements in ToTK are just a race-swapped versions of Link. A step down for sure.
Ganondorf is presented as a huge threat and he gets to be a dick a couple times, but he simply isn't in it enough. Zelda does at least one thing in this game to help, which I think is the first thing she's done to contribute to anything since she light blasted Ganon in Ocarina of Time. She's still far too focused on for as little as she says or does. The mystery surrounding her whereabouts really begins to drag-on. The conclusion to her arc in this game is fucking cool and it seems like Nintendo built a game around concept art of the ending sequence. It's fucking sick. But, since this game doesn't really have a story, the ending moments of this game doesn't pop off as hard it should have.
The group combat sections are neat? It feels cool to have backup when fighting mobs with like a bunch of dudes with buckets on their heads with mops who knock down enemies so you can finish them off, but this stuff only happens in scripted side quests. Nintendo should bring back and expand upon this in a future title.
Tears an absolutely crazy game in technical achievement and the possibilities at hand, but I don't feel it rises up to the hype. Concepts or gameplay ideas are not as fleshed out as I wanted them to be. You do have the tools to make your own fun, but the lack of real end-game challenges does put a damper on things. Maybe DLC will fix that?
Look, it's got addictive gameplay loops and moments that activate a child-like sense of wonder and exploration. Though the variety of objectives the game gives you can to do with your new powers isn't enough. If I have to make another fucked up wooden abomination so that penis-headed guy can hold up a sign of the penis-headed boss construction company, I will die.
They remixed the BOTW map to keep it from being stale, but the world simply isn't detailed enough in texture and variety as I would like. Blah blah the Switch isn't powerful enough blah blah. The world class programmers and engineers they got to make this game look as good as it does at 24fps is an Olympian feat. At the end of the day though, it's just a cover up job for aging specs.
Nintendo put a lot of cinematography and thought in some of the littlest moments, but this game does not have a story. I know you might argue with me on that, but like, there isn't. After awhile, all I could think about when a character spoke was "Oh this game is going to be released in every region in the world and the dialogue has to be as simple as possible so it could be easily translated". It's so milquetoast and anything anyone says is 95% barely-flavored flavor text.
Every new character is cool but they don't have anything interesting to say or do in the grand scheme of things. The past characters are dead and exist in unsatisfying flashback scenes. The new companions are likable, but they literally all have the same lines of dialogue during their big scenes. All of them say the same exact thing in the same exact delivery when they make contact with their ancestors. They lose all personality after you complete their original arcs. EVEN MY BOY SIDON. Prince Sidon has the lamest power and you barely get any bro time with him because Nintendo hates you. The companions of Breath of the Wild had WAY more personality. Rivali was a jerk who had a one-sided rivalry with Link. Daruk is the embodiment of a big ass, loud and proud Goron. Urbosa awakened a dommy mommy kink in like a million people. Mipha was there? Their replacements in ToTK are just a race-swapped versions of Link. A step down for sure.
Ganondorf is presented as a huge threat and he gets to be a dick a couple times, but he simply isn't in it enough. Zelda does at least one thing in this game to help, which I think is the first thing she's done to contribute to anything since she light blasted Ganon in Ocarina of Time. She's still far too focused on for as little as she says or does. The mystery surrounding her whereabouts really begins to drag-on. The conclusion to her arc in this game is fucking cool and it seems like Nintendo built a game around concept art of the ending sequence. It's fucking sick. But, since this game doesn't really have a story, the ending moments of this game doesn't pop off as hard it should have.
The group combat sections are neat? It feels cool to have backup when fighting mobs with like a bunch of dudes with buckets on their heads with mops who knock down enemies so you can finish them off, but this stuff only happens in scripted side quests. Nintendo should bring back and expand upon this in a future title.
Tears an absolutely crazy game in technical achievement and the possibilities at hand, but I don't feel it rises up to the hype. Concepts or gameplay ideas are not as fleshed out as I wanted them to be. You do have the tools to make your own fun, but the lack of real end-game challenges does put a damper on things. Maybe DLC will fix that?
1985
If I run into a woman on street I too would explode.
2022
Bad. It's not even that Kurosawa-y. Putting black and white film grain filter over the screen doesn't make it Kurosawa-like. There's nothing to be gained from playing this other than to watch a game project fail at everything it sets out to do.