16

(Contains spoilers for the ending, but you probably shouldn’t care).

Far Cry... a franchise looked down upon in today’s current gaming landscape for its ongoing repetitiveness and obstinate nature—for its outright hellbent refusal to evolve and grow into something that isn’t a blatant map-marker simulator. I was curious to see what Crytek cooked up with this first entry before it became the thing to hate, and if you’ve never played this one—you might be asking the question of how it compares to its successors and whether it contains any of the aforementioned stuff? Well, not quite. But it certainly has its fair share of issues—to say the least—unrelated to Ubisoft’s modern spin on the franchise that I think are worth talking about. And yeah, you read that right… Crytek developed this first game—not Ubisoft (although they did help in publishing); which means it’s relatively free from their common open world trappings. No longer does it take the form of a sprawling sandbox FPS with RPG elements; but rather a linear (despite the lead producer saying otherwise) FPS with a level-based structure akin to something like Call of Duty but slightly more varied in its gameplay design. (Side note: I’m judging Far Cry as if it was made today, because I don’t like experiencing games through an “objective” lens nor would that review be anywhere near accurate to my true feelings—and thus I would feel like a fraud for endorsing a game because it was revolutionary for a time).

Firstly, can I take a moment to gush about the cover for this? It’s so irrefutably iconic. A bloody Jack Carver emerging from a clear-as-day river set on a tropical island of sorts wearing that vibrantly ruby Hawaiian shirt with a massive gun sticking out the water with explosions—well, exploding in the background? Sorry for my language, but it’s peak. There’s nothing like it, although I’ve always associated this pure display of testosterone with the third game… for whatever reason those two are linked in my mind, perhaps it’s the similarity in location? I think I may be experiencing the single-person version of the Mandela effect, either that or I’m a complete idiot (the latter is far more likely). I wish this at all contributed to my score of the game, but alas—it does not. I wish I liked the game as much as I fucking adore its poster. But you’ll see throughout this review that it’s the only thing I’ll ever be caught singing its praises for (besides the visuals)—because I’m sure as shit the game isn’t worth any of that.

What do you think of when I mention… “Far Cry”? Is it the facade of a living, breathing open world? Is it the bombastic or often stealthy ”do what you want—how you want” nature of its gameplay that gives the player plenty of options to utilize? Maybe it’s the memorably spine-chilling, meticulously crafted villains? It could even be the very tainted name of Ubisoft itself? Either way, you will find exactly zero of those characteristics here. Never have I seen a franchise so detached from where it eventually winds up, except maybe with Assassin’s Creed—funnily enough that’s also another IP that has become synonymous with Ubisoft’s mishandling of franchises, but I digress—that’s a topic for another review (maybe an Assassin’s Creed Valhalla one (eventually 👀). Although with having said that—you’d probably expect to find absolutely no semblance of its later identity here… right? Well no, the two separate entities actually share quite a few similarities, even if most of them are comprised of half-baked ideas that only really blossom into their full potential later down the line. Some of these staple Far Cry systems are widely known as: the glider, binoculars, stealth—and in turn the machete, enemy patrols, and first person driving (surprisingly similar to modern Far Cry’s); in many ways it’s a completely different beast… but in some you can still see that untapped formula waiting to get exploited into oblivion. And so it walks—or should I say falls face flat—into one end of a line that consists of systems being underdeveloped vs overtly “perfected”, I’ll let you take a guess on which end it lies. This shouldn’t come as a shock—I mean of course these systems are inferior, what did I really expect going into a 2004 game? Definitely not the visuals. It might be a hot take to say that Far Cry is the most stunning game to come out during its release and a few years after—at least from a fidelity outlook. You can almost feel its warm breeze flow through its densely foliaged jungles—of which there are many; saturated colors of emerald-greens and sky-blues directly contrasted against the fallen blood of your foes. It’s that distinction between the two that I find so captivating; it’s paradise… yet you’re faced with the worst of what the world has to offer: genetically mutated monstrosities. I’ve always been curious about why that is, why this franchise decides to choose these remote locales that strip away your connection to the outside world. I know the answer for the latest entries is to give the player that sense of isolation—to drop them into danger incarnate and ask them to survive and adapt at their very basic instinctual level; to go from being the hunted to the hunter, albeit with a few modern twists via guns and explosions. But why did they decide to go with a tropical island here? Well I would’ve hoped for something as thematically potent as what I just described… but no it was because an outdoor environment had never been done well before (I’ll be referencing this interview throughout the rest of my review since it’s the only one I could find). This was disappointing to hear for a multitude of reasons. For one it makes Far Cry seem like a tech demo—granted it was one at the time, but for modern day audiences this will do nothing to make them engaged because its priorities were presentation over everything else. Themes are a central part of experiencing art and can make an otherwise boring game worthwhile, where Far Cry falters is that it has no messages apart from a senseless commentary on privatized science and genetic engineering? But these elements are given the weight of a feather and hardly seem intentional—more like a by-product of the story.

An ex-military soldier (Jack Carver) has washed ashore a tropical island—or an archipelago if you want to be accurate—after getting his boat blasted with missiles by paid mercenaries. Our objective you ask? Well it changes from scene to scene… but at the beginning? To find Valerie Constantine; the journalist Jack Carver was with before everything went to shit. And so the nightmare begins (for me, literally and figuratively). The opening cinematic this game opens up with is a mess. An unbridled, disjointed, awful mess. I recognize this could be the point… it very well could be! Oh those pesky predictable ambushes!! You hate when those happen, right!? Those never happen. Obviously it’s meant to be unexpected to all, but that scene being paced at 2x speed while events happen in reverse—and then back to normal order… was certainly a choice. I don’t think anyone would quite understand it on their first try unless they were paying godly amounts of attention; I had to rewatch it after the fact to even understand what was happening (might be a skill issue). It exemplifies that classic “BOOM POW BANG” structure that every game from the fifth/sixth console generation was dipping their toes into. It was all about “Action! Action! Action!” no substance—maybe some if there was enough room! You gotta hook those players in, man! Well of course; shooting, explosions, carnage, destruction, parkour, it’s all there! Did it hook me in? Nope. From that point on I knew exactly what type of game this was. One of nonsensical narrative. If we’re to look at the story as a whole… it’s clear that events happen for the sake of the thrill & moving the plot forward; one thing is resolved, another is introduced—literally from moment to moment. And bad pacing is the product of this; to the point where ¼ onwards feels like the third act. Just continuously action-oriented, and nothing else. I understand that resolving and introducing plot points is sort of the way narratives work… I’m not an idiot, but its hasty nature makes it hard to pinpoint exactly where you are in the story, and so the result is fatigue... from experiencing the excessive dumping of monotonous objectives. Some of you might say… “It’s an action game! That’s the point”. Well, sure. But what about variety? I can’t find the fun in shooting a bunch of samey—annoying enemies for the 300th time while going from room to room in a dull laboratory. And I know what Christopher Natsuume (the lead producer) said when he was asked “Does that mean that there will be none or only few in-doors environments?”. Supposedly the majority of the game is set outside, and he’s not lying—that’s true, but I counted up how much time the player spends indoors vs outdoors; and the gap isn’t as huge as he probably wanted you to believe at the time. You spend roughly 35-40% of your playtime indoors shuffling through dark and drab corridors; going from an underground section to another old-boring warehouse. His answer about players not wanting “to stay indoors the whole time” in a game set on a tropical island is very true! I don’t. So why did he make me do that for a huge chunk of the game? For variety and contrast he says! My counterpoint: There’s already enough variety with the numerous jungles that are present here. Like—I love the beginning location of this game! It’s so vibrant—with life galore, birds in the sky—chirping, fish in the waters, sunrays beaming through copious amounts of thick leaves. The affectivity this game possesses is bewildering… in the opening hour that is. But then… you’re going in and out of open/enclosed spaces every 10 minutes and it gets tiring. And that’s before it devolves into monster slop. I’m not trying to say “ban indoor environments”, they’re fine in sparsity for this type of setting, but 40% of the game? That’s way too much. I've started to notice how obsessed the 5-7th console generations were with adding monsters/genetically mutated humans in their narratives as plot devices, or is that only me? Either way, from the second quarter onwards it becomes completely unrecognizable from the franchise’s later entries. Trigens are introduced as a lazy attempt at enemy variety… and the game instantly plummets. It was clearly chasing the trend of wanting to be a pulpy blockbuster B-movie. No real artistic value (in my opinion). No subtlety. Predictability and all. It’s almost comically unreal how expected everything is. Like of course we have to add a betrayal in there! And an entire fucking nuke at the end! How else could Far Cry possibly conclude its story—after one-upping its ridiculousness scene after scene (in a bad way)?

“Your ass is grass!”

Luckily we have a protagonist that matches that energy. Protagonists have never been Far Cry’s strong suit, besides Jason and Ajay I’d argue—but even then they’re severely complimented by their respective villains (less so Jason, but you get the point). And you know that common complaint thrown at the protagonists in those two games—how them handling guns, blowing up and killing people right-left-and-center makes no sense? Well that’s not really an issue here. Like I mentioned before—Jack Carver is an ex-military soldier. But that’s almost a double-edged sword. It completely omits him from an interesting arc! The satisfying thing about Jason was that he was virtually a frat boy who went from being an entitled brat to an overwhelming force of nature; he was badass, confident, and a compulsive killing machine. It allowed for attachment and at least a little bit of intrigue. With Jack it’s more like you’re living through him, projecting yourself onto him because he’s such a blank slate and devoid of any defining characteristics—besides his whole macho ordeal. I did enjoy his wacky, hammed-up personality at the beginning, even if the acting was… questionable at best, and comically awful at worst. It works for what the game is trying to do but I found myself getting irritated with him near the end—his voice got borderline grating, but I think that was because I was starting to hate what I was playing? It could’ve been that or the fact that Jack started to sound more and more like a whiny toddler. I was convinced he was a schizophrenic in all honesty too, sounds weird—I know, but he talks like a campy 80s action hero despite everyone else speaking fairly normally. He says crazy, out of pocket shit, and I honestly felt like he was exaggerating his sentences for an imaginary audience at every turn. It’s either that or he’s off the walls fucking insane (maybe he misses his glory days???). On the opposite end of “normality” we have Valerie and Doyle. It’s 2004, so I wouldn’t expect much from side characters apart from one-note archetypes charading as to having characteristics. Valerie is a damsel in distress—but simultaneously capable at times? Which is odd. It doesn’t make much sense since she’s a CIA agent. And Doyle is a scientist who speaks in an overtly monotone, disinterested tone, with money being his big motivator by the end. That’s pretty much it. I’m sitting here thinking about those two, and I can’t come up with anything to say. There’s nothing there. Boring stuff! Let’s move on.

So, I think the biggest shock that came to me when I started playing was how military this felt; something the later entries completely abandoned. It seems to me like that’s a product of its time though, since a myriad of games were doing that when this released. I don’t know why this has to be focused on militarism, I find that nobodies arriving or landing on islands/secluded regions are far more compelling to me. But regardless, this aspect is evidently shown through almost every aspect of the game. The score takes a more drum-heavy approach, boasting for marches and… drills—you can almost hear the stocks of guns hitting the ground. Carrier - Combat and Menu-1 seem to be the most glaring examples of this. If the rest of the tracks aren’t more of this, then they’re either very quiet & calm pieces (I’ll explain why later), or jungle themes since Jack is—well, practically lost in countless jungles throughout the game! That’s all I observed about the score since a lot of it is repetitive, generic, and not that exciting. But since this is indeed very militaristic, the combat also compliments that; it takes a semi-realistic approach rather than an arcady one. Guns have proper recoil, their size affects movement speed, you even have a stamina bar… would you believe that? Suffice it to say, I’m not a huge fan. When the game is already a chore to go through, it doesn’t help that I have to carefully observe how much I sprint and jump. It creates tedium and prolongs the game, and I’d say it’s one of those useless game mechanics akin to something like “item weight” in an RPG. What is its purpose? It’s never been done well before, unless it’s at the forefront of an indie game built around movement or something. Shooting is wildly inconsistent too. Headshots are your go to in Far Cry, but some of the hitboxes are placed awkwardly so you’ll sometimes one-shot enemies, and other times have to hit their head multiple times. Anything else—like shots near their higher/lower bodies is entirely redundant. I also encountered a bug that made my sniper scope keep glitching out, so I couldn’t really use that comfortably either. I was rocking the suppressed MP3 for half of my playthrough because it’s easily the best weapon for stealth… which is a bizarre oddity in and of itself.

There’s no point to it. Systems literally don’t work around it. This wouldn’t be an issue if the game didn’t actively encourage it throughout almost every level, but they do (which is why most of the tracks sound that way). So there’s a couple parts to this. One, there are only two silent weapons—those being, the previously mentioned MP3, and the machete; but the thing is, the MP3 isn’t introduced until later in the game and the machete doesn’t kill enemies in a single hit (even from behind), meaning… they’ll detect you in an instant if you attempt a kill which will then alert your position to the other enemies. The second part is that the baseline of your presence in this game is undetected, that is huge; whereas in your typical Call of Duty game, it’s detected. So the funny thing is, Far Cry presents you levels with particular objectives that are stealth oriented, but on contrary places AI in those levels that detect you in an instant—that you can’t kill stealthily, all while developing no systems whatsoever that actually allow you to maintain that baseline. There is no way for you to complete these levels stealthily—at least early on, it’s simply not possible. It’s a weird aspect of this game that I feel wasn’t even thought about during its development? Since characters will react disappointedly to getting detected in a level… but, what does it want me to do? It’s peculiar. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a game that wants you to be stealthy, but doesn’t actually create systems to make that possible. I’m baffled by this, seriously. I don’t get it. This is a huge reason why I dislike this game so passionately. It’s not fun because there’s only so many ways you can go through a level causing destruction and carnage.

Some of these levels are beyond confusing too. It’s something older games used to do for the sake of it I guess? It’s not at all clear where you’re supposed to go at times, since the minimap glitches out; but it’s also because the levels are laid out in a convoluted way. One example comes to mind, it’s when you’re driving through a series of very small islands separated by rivers made up of lava. You’re supposed to reach an area by jumping over several hills with your vehicle, but there’s many curves, many ground imperfections, you can’t see anything, so you’ll randomly drive into lava and die—which results in trial and error gameplay. It’s incredibly frustrating.

Just all in all not a fun time. I hope this franchise starts to pick up with the second game (since I’m playing through the entire series). It’s probably the one I know the least about? So that should be interesting.

(This isn’t a part of the review). I’ve been so busy recently I haven’t had a chance to write more of these, which is a big shame… I had a lot of fun with this one though. Not my best work but this game fucking sucks balls, man. Next one should be on Uncharted 3.

Playtime: 8.9 hours

Every Game I’ve Ever Played - Ranked (By Score)
Ubisoft - Ranked
Far Cry - Ranked
2004 - Ranked

this and a blunt but no seriously this and a blunt

rlly lovely game :-))
in love w theresa duncan’s vision and idea of a middle america, a place innocent but not and a place that’s somehow both mundane and extravagant. I think she hoped for a better world for future generations :-) I think that’s sweet :3

highly recommend looking at her blog @ https://theresalduncan.typepad.com/witostaircase/
spent a few hours on there last night and there’s some rlly great musings and photo curation from her if u even slightly gaf about fashion/feminism/art/celebrity/conspiracy etc etc

I was eager to try this game after I saw it blowing up on TikTok/YouTube and when I saw that the steam port was released I decided to give it a try.

The game is a spin of russian roulette where a shotgun is used instead of a revolver. You are put in a game against this creepy entity and need to get rid of all its hit points before it does the same to you. You get a selection of items at the start of each round ranging from cigarettes to ironically heal yourself, A switchblade to cut the barrel of the shotgun and deal double damage and handcuffs to give you an extra turn. Games are 3 rounds long with increased health and shells each time. It can be a fun brain puzzle trying to weight up the probability of a live shell being next.

I'm a big fan of the aesthetic, everything looks really dirty and rusty. It reminds me a lot of Iron Lung, with the very similar colour palette.

I see myself randomly coming back to this if I am bored and want to kill 15 - 30 mins but I probably wont play consistently as I think the gameplay loop can grow quite repetitive after a few games.

A question that went through my mind several times playing this was why didn’t PlayStation market Spyro as its rival to Nintendo’s Mario. To me he would have made such a better choice over Crash and, imo, his terrible first game.

Spyro the Dragon was clearly geared towards younger kids with its difficulty but sometimes simplicity isn’t a bad thing. While I prefer challenging games to easier games, it was a nice change of pace for me and I appreciated the simple yet satisfying gameplay. The only thing lacking gameplay wise were the bosses. They all felt underwhelming and I’d hardly call them “fights.”

As far as art the game is downright beautiful. The fun colors and unique characters pop in every level. However as strong as I feel positively on the visuals I feel equally negative in the music as not a single track stood out or stuck in my head.

Overall it’s a very nice game to just sit back and relax with and still fun in 2024.


My 2024 games played rankings
https://www.backloggd.com/u/DVince89/list/games-i-played-in-2024-ranked-1/

I was randomly talking about Cuphead with a couple of my friends and remembered that I never completed it so I decided to finally finish it for good. I got the game in late 2020 and played through everything before getting stuck on King Dice around mid 2021 and shelving it for a while. I tried a couple times to try and beat it but gave up until today when I finally managed to beat King Dice and the devil. So i figured I would log it as I technically beat it despite playing most of it years ago.

Cuphead is up there with some of the best Indie games of all time with its incredibly unique art style and creative boss fights. The main attraction is of course the boss fights who all feel really unique and challenging Challenging might be a bit of an understatement actually as this game is actually really hard at time with certain boss fights like King Dice, Grim Matchsticks and Beppi the Clown being some standouts in the difficulty area. Whether its due to the flurry of attacks or the sheer amount of stuff on screen, most of the bosses will slap you around the first few times you try. Despite all that, none of the bosses feel impossible as attack patterns can be learned with enough attempts and after death seeing the progress bar serves as a good motivator to get back in there and finish it off. There are two main types of fights, regular ones and plane fights. The plane fights are quite fun but serve as some of the most challenging fights due to the bullet hell type attacks you have to dodge. There are also 6 run and gun stages which are ok, im not a huge fan of them as they feel quite rushed.

Your attacks can be upgraded using coins obtained from the run and gun stages. These coins can by weapon types and charms to help you. Some are way better than others and you only really need to buy the ones that you are going to use as switching between them isn't really necessary. I personally used the Charge shot type and the Spread shot type alongside the smoke bomb charm as it is insanely OP.

I can't praise this game enough for its visuals and score. Cuphead takes heavy inspiration from the 1920's cartoon animation style called "Rubber Hose". Each stage has a hand draw backdrop that changes when the boss phases change. Each boss looks like something straight out of an old Disney cartoon, alongside Cuphead himself. Each stage is so satisfying to look at I sometimes found myself getting hit as I was too distracted looking at the cool details in the backdrops and boss designs. The score is also phenomenal, every track is a banger. The boss fights go so well with there chosen music its unbelievable. Studio MDHR knocked it out of the park with both visuals and music.

My only complaint about this game is on some bosses the RNG is a bit dodgy. Mostly with the amount of stuff on screen at once, sometimes there is no way to dodge without getting hit. I noticed it particularly while fighting the devil where I would be forced to one side to dodge an attack but have one of the purple demons come from that side and hit me before I can react. Might be a skill issue but I remember some bosses like Grim Matchsticks and Baroness Von BonBon being very RNG orientated and making them more difficult in turn.

Cuphead is one of my favourite Indie games of all time. Its one of the only "hard games" that I have ever been any good at so beating it finally feels like a bit accomplishment lol. I'm currently playing the DLC and will review that once its completed. 100% worth playing.

The good levels are better than EWJ1, but the bad levels are so bad that I think someone should actually be punished for them. Whoever came up with Puppy Love and determined it needed 3 rounds? I want that guy killed, clean shot. Level Ate consantly bombarding you with enemies and salt shakers? The Iron Maiden. The sick fucking monster who brought in the Flyin' King? The Baptist Hell. Suffer endlessly.

I want to rate this higher than Earthworm Jim 1 because there is stuff I love here: the animation is even better and more expressive, the game actually makes me laugh pretty consistently, it's pretty funny! The good levels like Udderly Abducted, Tangerines, Lorenzo's Soil, and Jim Is A Blind Cave Salamander are actually FUN and have INTERESTING GIMMICKS. But the rotten is like a limb blackened by frostbite, functionless and chipping off before your very eyes, and the only thing we need to do is get it to a hospital so amputation can happen.

A game that would gain more stars if content was actively REMOVED. Puppy Love is T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E. I cannot stand by For Pete's Sake being slandered while this nightmare is given a slap on the wrist. The fucking marshmallow you have to bounce the puppies off of has the most inconsistent hitbox in a game loaded with them by a company who is bad at them. It is a level so bad that I actively encourage cheating. If something fucking stinks: cheat. Don't feel bad about it, if it sucks, skip it. Under no circumstance should you beat Puppy Love how they actually intended, because they intended you to be a gaming God who can nail frame precise movements like you are fucking Simple Flips. You are not. I am not. Skip the shitty level.

Love this music though! It's known that Tommy Tallarico did not compose any actual music in his fucking life, and he especially didn't come up with any of the really great original music here. I highly doubt he even had the inspired choice to put Moonlight Sonata in the Salamnder level. It's a very fun soundtrack that once again has its name attached to a ding dong. Can't win with this franchise!

What I suggest is attributing every bad decision to Doug, notorious shithead. Puppy Love? His idea. Flyin' King? He programmed all of it! Level Ate? He wanted MORE Salt shakers! The game goes down so much easier once you do this.

Ah. That’s more like it.

As the one person I know who likes Donkey Kong Country, Drill Dozer, and that one burrowing escape sequence from Ori and the Will of the Wisps, I knew Pepper Grinder was going to be right up my alley. What impressed me though, was just how precisely the game melded its influences into something that felt simultaneously fresh yet familiar. The level design is classic obstacle escalation (introduce a concept, scale it up, throw in a twist, and then run the player through a final exam into their victory lap) with DKC inspired secrets with skull coin collectibles for unlocking secret levels. Many of the usual formula beats are present as well to force execution tests, from the usual moving parts in the forms of cannons, rope swings, and grappling points, to constantly present sources of danger like the freezing ocean or the temporary dirt patches created from cooling lava. What sets Pepper Grinder apart however, is that the terrain itself is the main obstacle. It feels like such a natural pairing to seamlessly mesh environmental navigation with the course’s very foundation, and the best moments of the game lean into funneling the player through various layers of shifting and isolated terrain while tearing through all that may stand in their way.

That said, I think to really understand the nuances of Pepper Grinder, one has to readily commit to its time attack mode. I could have been sold on the game-feel alone as an amalgam of Donkey Kong Country’s momentum physics and Drill Dozer’s force feedback, but playing under circumstances that force you to squeeze every possible second out of the timer gives the player a better appreciation of its movement mechanics. Pepper is not very fast on foot, nor can she naturally jump very far. Therefore, you’d think that most speed comes from tunneling through terrain, but it’s not quite that either. Rather, the player has to maintain momentum through the interplay of drilling and jumping by exiting terrain via the drill run (boosting right as you’re about to leave a patch of dirt), which commits the player to the projected arc leaving the terrain but with the reward of significantly more speed. The result is some of the weightiest and most satisfying movement I have ever experienced in any platformer. I was constantly figuring out new ways to save seconds by timing by boosts both within terrain and right before exiting terrain (since you can’t just spam boost and using it too early can lock you out from getting the necessary boost jump out of terrain), skipping certain obstacles entirely with well-placed drill runs, and figuring out how to manage my health to bypass unfavorable cycles and damage boost past mines and thorns. Some of those gold time attack medals were tight ordeals, but I absolutely savored every moment of the grind.

Bosses as a whole are a significant improvement from the usual quality of those in Donkey Kong Country. You’re not safe just waiting above ground, and burrowing to dodge attacks forces you to at least dash-dance underground since drilling means you can’t stay in one place. As a result, the player is constantly on the move, and you’re incentivized to do so anyways given that most of the bosses require multiple hits to defeat and aren’t the usual “invincible until they’re done attacking” crop from DKC. The biggest complaint I can levy here is that boss hit/hurtboxes can feel imprecise; I’ve heard that many players have had difficulty figuring out how to correctly drill into the beetle boss’s underbelly, and while I had no issues there, I did die a few times from the skeleton king’s heel hitbox where there was no visible attack in its vicinity. Still, I much prefer these boss fights over many of its peers, and figuring out when and how to best aim drill runs from the ground to speedrun bosses was just as much of a pleasure as speedrunning the courses themselves.

There are a few questionable design choices that could be touched upon here. Firstly, there’s a shop system present where you can purchase optional stickers from a gacha machine as well as temporary health boosts. The former is mostly forgivable given that they don’t impact the gameplay otherwise and can be cleared in about three minutes of purchasing and opening capsules. That said, I feel as if the latter could be removed entirely given that I never felt pressured to purchase insurance for courses and bosses, especially because I was often taking hits anyways to skip past obstacles and because you’re not going to regain the extra health capacity in-level once it’s gone. Secondly, bosses in time-attack mode force you to watch their opening unskippable cutscenes before getting to the action, and this gets extremely irritating when you’re constantly restarting fights to get better times. Finally, Pepper Grinder has a few gimmick areas in the forms of a couple of robot platforming segments, two snowmobile sections where you just hold forward on the control stick, and a couple of run-and-gun levels with little drilling involved. I can look past most of these given that they don’t take up much time and that I enjoyed all the minecart levels from DKC as is, though I do wish that they spaced the gimmicks apart a bit more given that levels 4-3 and 4-4 both have significant run and gun segments sending each course off.

If I did have any lasting complaints, it would be that I just want more of this game. Most players will finish adventure mode in under four hours. That said, even despite a lack of polish here and there, I absolutely adore Pepper Grinder. At this time of writing, I’ve 100%ed the game and even gone back to a few time trials after snagging all the gold medals just to further polish my records. It’s often difficult for me to pin down what makes a game feel good to play, but in this case, I just know. Pepper Grinder feels like an adrenaline rush made just for me, and though its execution barriers and short length will likely make this a tough sell for many, it is undoubtably some of the most fun I have had with a game this year. If you’re curious or enjoy anything that I’ve discussed in this write-up, please give the demo a shot. They don’t make 2D platformers like this anymore, and Pepper Grinder’s existence leaves me wondering why when they absolutely killed it on their first try.

One of my most beloved games from when I was a kid, that on every replay I find something new that I don't like about it. It was animated by a virulent transphobe with nasty fucking nails and Tommy Tallarico regularly lies about having composed the music for it when he absolutely did not. Nice stuff!!

I want to preface it right now, on the Genesis this is a 2 STAR GAME. The PC/Sega CD versions I think are 3 stars for many technical reasons and for having the very fun Big Bruty level.

The Genesis version though kind of SUCKS. It's not because EWJ is already an incredibly uneven game, but because the whip has the most particular hitbox you could imagine, requiring precision that really feels unnecessarily strict. The helicopter head never ever feels like it works right, and makes the Use Your Head portion of the final level nearly fucking impossible. The Genesis version plays so bad that I can see why it being readily available on Switch, along with its insipid creator has lead to people turning HARD on Jim.

The Sega CD version still doesn't play perfect, because at its heart Earthworm Jim is still kind of a mess, but I still think it's light years better than Earthworm Jim 2, which is a game that experiments with every level being the bad level. Tube Race and Snot a Problem are the only levels here that I think are just so shit that it brings the experience down. I think For Pete's Sake is pretty fun actually :)

Levels that are pure platforming challenges are usually pretty fun, with a huge asterisk, as sometimes Jim just doesn't control great or his sprite feels a little bit bigger than it needs to be, but I still think New Junk City, Level 5, and Buttville provide good enough platforming challenges. I am a biased observer though, as I really don't care about most 2D games and would rather playing Earthworm Jim than any boring ass Mega Man game, so take my words with a grain of salt.

The music is great though! It was absolutely not composed by Tallarico, despite his insistence it was. I doubt the Special Edition music was even done by him, even the guitars, as he pretty infamously plays to a backing track with VGL. Can he even play guitar? No one knows! Notice how EWJ2 is credited to him and half of it is music he didn't even compose? Weird, huh. I did listen to the music here a TON growing up, and still think it's brilliant stuff.

What this game is rightfully famous for is the animation, character design, all of it being REALLY great looking. The various Jim idle animations, the way Evil the Cat's gun knocks him back during his boss fight, and, even though it stinks to play, the animations in Snot a Problem are so beautifully done. It's a shame the most annoying piece of shit was behind these!

This game is so hard to go back to today for reasons that honestly don't have much to do with the actual game: it's an eccentric 90s platformer, not much to write home about. The fact that it's attached to the hip to the legacies of the most irritating fucking losers is really brutal. Still worth a shot on the Sega CD or PC, as the Genesis version is too clunky to even recommend casually.

"The world once shaped by the great will has come to an end.
It was a foregone conclusion. All is preordained.

If in spite of this you still have the will to fight, now is your chance to prove it."

This is a particularly difficult game for me to write about because I want to greedily compare and contrast every ballhair with the first title’s, just so I can diagnose exactly where my issues with it lie - why a game that is functionally so similar in DNA to one of my all-timers doesn’t hit the mark. Personally speakin, the long & short of it is that Dragon’s Dogma 2 is something of a sidegrade to the original title that distances itself too much from what I found spectacular about it to begin with.

Possibly my favourite element of Dragon’s Dogma 2 is one that could be felt from the moment you first gain control of your character. There’s a palpable heft to character locomotion, complimented by the multilayered textuality of the land itself & the threats of wrong turns into the unknown or slipping off a slick cliffside to your untimely demise - it leans wonderfully far into the concept of traversal being a battle unto itself. As was the case with DD1, being tasked to travel from safety to a marker deep into the fog of war is never a simple request. Goblins, ogres, harpies, and whoever else decides to grace you with their presence are waiting in the bushes to act as regular speedbumps to be carefully considered and planned for accordingly.

Where DD2 slips at this for me is in how little it reciprocates for what it demands. This is a sequel that has ballooned itself in scale to a dizzying near 5x the original map’s size, but hasn’t developed the enemy roster nor the environmental design acumen to make use of it. Take for instance that DD2 has fifty caves strewn around its tectonic world map, and I don’t think a single one is as impressive as one that could be found in DD1. Where the caves/dungeons in DD1 were concerned, there would be special objectives relevant to the overall story, a person you were going there on behalf of who represented a town or group, they would unlock shortcuts for faster world traversal and upon repeat visits you’d notice the location’s role in the world change for the denizens. They would be densely designed so that every corner was worth being scanned to the best of your ability for pickups, shortcuts, levers, climbing points - lending to the almost DnD-esque adventure core followed passionately by the game’s design. Hell, the locales would generally sound and look different too, built to purpose so as to become plausible enough to justify their utility in the world and lend credence to exploring them.

Compared to that, DD2 has shockingly little of this. Its myriad nondescript caves wallhugging the world could scarcely be five prefab rooms tied into a loop to house a few potions, or some equipment you could find at a store. No unique gimmicks or trials, only populated by a handful of gobbos and maybe a midboss as a treat. I feel that Dragonsbreath Tower was supposed to act as something of a callback to Bluemoon Tower from DD1 - it being a perilous journey across a handful of biomes towards a crumbling hanging dungeon that houses a flying peril, but it’s so bereft of pomp and confidence. A truly memetic core routine that made me think less of adventures and more of waypoints and upgrade materials. I want to use a Neuralyzer to remove BotW shrines from the face of the earth. And god why is none of the new music good.

DD2 implies at a big story, but to me it felt like nothing came together. I had no idea who anyone was supposed to be beyond Brant, Sven and Wilhelmina. DD1’s progression from Wyrmhunt -> Investigate the Cult -> Kill Grigori -> Deal with the Everfall -> Confront the Seneschal was great, and throughout all of that you kept up with characters like the King and got to see his downfall. The writing and delivery of the cult leader and Grigori himself far surpasses anything in DD2, despite having very similar subjects. Outpaced by DD1 in setpieces and pop-offs and thematics. There's barely any antagonistic people in the game and once you get to Battahl it feels as though the game trails off like it’s got dementia.

It's a completely different kind of design that, sure, encourages player freedom - but communicates it in this really loose way that I just don't care about. I spent much of my playthrough having no idea what I was doing besides wiping off the blank smudges of world map. What expounds this problem is that quest discoverability is astonishingly low here, oftentimes made worse by restricting itself to AI astrology, time of day, relationship levels (??). The duke could stand to commission a farcking quest board imo!!! I won’t kid myself and say that the quests in DD1 were even a bronze standard, but they worked and communicated exactly what they needed to do while also leaving open ends available for interpretation. But in DD2, they’re just awful, I absolutely hated the experience of trying to clear up Vermund’s quests before pushing Main Story progression and at this point I wish I cared as little as the game does. What need is there for almost all of them to have a “return to me in a few days” component in a game with such limited fast travel, do you want me to throw you into the brine? Frankly the game is never as interesting as when you're doing Sphinx riddles.

Combat’s good enough, I do enjoy how the interplay of systems would present the player with all sorts of unique situations, but even these can and do begin to feel samey when a very slim enemy pool on shuffle. What makes these emergent conflicts even less impressive to me is how I can't help but feel as though the ogres, trolls and chimeras in particular have had their difficulties neutered. The hardest time I had with the chimera was during a sidequest where you had to get the poison-lover to be doused in chimeric snake venom. They're barely a threat otherwise, and can either be chain stunlocked with well-placed shots or slashes, or get too lost in their own attack animations to really hit anyone. Comparing these enemies to DD1 where climbing was far more effective at dealing damage encouraged the player to get real up close to them and it felt like their AI knew how to deal with that. Like when I fought the Medusa it felt like they didn't have any idea where the party even was. I think if the hardest encounters the game has to offer is Too Many Goblins we have a problem. (Dullahan is very cool though)

I’m not miffed no matter how miffed I sound. When do people like me ever get sequels to games they love? I’ll tell u dear reader it’s Never. Dragon’s Dogma 2 is full of wonder & delight and I think anyone less fatigued by SCALE and SANDBOX than me has a home in it. I feel a little left behind, having spent 12 years wasting away in the waiting room rotating in my head the concepts DD1 confidently wields, and its further potential as a foundation for a sequel. A game that was absolutely 'for me', course correcting into sick-of-this-already airspace. I’ll be excited to see whatever news, expansions or the like the future holds for DD2. Right now, though? I think DD1 has a stronger jawline.

Ever since the Black Parade released to marvelous acclaim hitting Moddb’s mod of the year for 2023. I couldn’t help but ask myself “Is Thief good?” In an effort to see if the game holds up, I decided to start with the first installment before I inevitably reach the mod down the road. And I must say after 28 hours on expert difficulty. Thief Gold(Thief 1/T1) by Looking Glass Studio. Is a dark, thrilling, and fulfilling experience in reigniting all the checkmarks I like and love in the stealth realm. And I am glad to be back in the genre once again. From my days in Metal Gear, Syphon Filter & Old Assassin’s Creed.

Originally called Thief: The Dark Project. The gold edition adds three new missions to deepen the plot and five new enemies. Edited original missions with a slew of bug fixes. So this feels like a definitive edition. Although I did have to use several mods I’ll detail later on to bring the game up to modern standards.

The premise is simple and you control a single character Garret who is a master thief. With no special powers whatsoever. His days from being a homeless orphan were discarded long ago since he joined a secret order. Years later he leaves and decides to make it on his own. Delving into the path of thievery without remorse to fulfill his greed for money. He is ambitious, selfish, cynical, and an untraditional protagonist. All qualities I don’t like at all for a main character and yet by the time the end credits are rolling, I am very tempted to head right into the sequel to see what’s next in store for him.

Worldbuilding is subtle, dark, and strangely yet fittingly humorous at times. A mix of middle ages, dark fantasy, and on the cusp of an industrial revolution. With lore dropping from scrolls and conversations between guards during their breaks. Offering vital gossip on the citizenry, complaints of co-workers, and my personal favorite lore stories and convenient tips/hints that may connect to the main cast. A method to reach a previously unassailable location. Secrets will be revealed unintentionally and a good eavesdropper should without hesitation use it to their advantage to maximum effect. G-man will also monologue amongst himself and will at times drop interesting commentary during work. Usually comments like being dumbfounded or witty responses to abrupt changes in objectives. A nice change of pace from the otherwise silence permeating while you lurk in the shadows. Parchment readings and books offer insightful lessons and teachings from the factions of Hammerites and the Pagans. Both believe in their gods in a way bordering unhealthy zealotry and are at odds with one another. The supernatural elements took me by surprise many times. Spells, incantations, and rituals are fitting. Inducing a mystical wonder beyond the medieval. Zombies, ghosts, and malformed supernatural creatures are here to stay. Oh, and bugs like mutated spiders I didn’t think were a threat had me running away once I caught sight of them. Seriously, how can they jump so high and shoot acid!? Machinery such as factories, smelting tools, and items with a steady supply of lava provide their citizenry with new forms of artificial light instead of the traditional natural fire to illuminate surroundings. Creating an interesting level design throughout, a blend of medieval housing full of conventional bricks, wooden planks, and pavement with the power of adopting steel into the surroundings.

Quite ingenious for a stealth-based gameplay approach back in the old days. Erase approaches such as shooting from afar with guns or tasing anyone to oblivion. The game operates on a mission structure. Before a mission starts you are given a briefing of the events prior, a chance to buy equipment using gold earned from a prior mission, and a handy, but vague map. Embarking on a new place in the City at various times. Always looking forward to a new place to see the sights and steal whatever I can of course. Sometimes your goals will change during an operation. Good o’l no plan survives contact with the enemy is important to keep in mind. Therefore, caution is advised when conducting skullduggery. But hey Garrett has immensely useful tools to help. No stamina gauge when swinging weapons. Innate ability knocking a bow and arrows. The blackjack is easily the #1 most useful weapon. Capable of one-shotting nearly every enemy into blissful unconsciousness. They never get back up despite hours passing by too! You can move them into shadowed areas preventing patrols from encountering them and thus initiating an alarm at a whole base. Arrows dipped in fire, water, gas, and rope are likewise vital in completing a task. Blasting creatures with fire is like launching a missile capable of damaging multiple enemies. Water aids in dousing torches causing the light in room/s to darken and therefore allowing one mistah G to conduct his activities in better stealth mode than dressing up like an orange ninja from a shinobi world. Gas is powerful. No not fart ones, these kinds if launched correctly can take out groups of enemies into dreamland. Vital when being chased by a horde of angry guards…

Additionally, the rope arrow single-handedly changed my whole experience. Making me think outside the box. Reminds me of using the GLOO gun from Prey and applying the weapon to reach places I wouldn’t otherwise be allowed to exploit regular means. The cable, by comparison, allows one to hit any wooden surface dropping a decent length of string. Becoming instantly available for climbing. As a result, you can traverse higher elevations. Furthermore, one can retrieve their shaft if applicable to re-use once again making the tool highly versatile in nearly any sticky situation he’s subjected to. Trust me you’ll need it when you're at a rock and hard place with nearby zombies closing in on your position with nowhere to run except upon checking your surroundings a wooden beam is above. Maybe a handy tool would surely be useful now.

Level design in every assignment is intricate, maze-like, and deep. Displaying an awesome sleight of hand in the dev’s works to craft initially simple environments then suddenly catching me off-guard by transforming into a large several corridors and passageways leading a lost one into a room full of secrets. It is deep and chock full of hidden areas that can be unlocked from levers, switches, and cleverly tucked away corners. Intrinsically linked in the environment. Delivering a cool verticality and thorough ‘puzzle-like’ solving when applicable. The start of any new venture won’t be the same to some extent in the end portion upon completing all your objectives. You will see sprawling organized streets and then hit unfamiliar ruined suburbs and towns. Dive underwater and emerge in desolate gray caves emerging into a facility of machinery mixed with stone masonry. Similar, but different to how dungeons are made from a certain Zelda series. Full of traps, few floors, and twisting passages that can be confusing to any newcomer unused to the design. One of my favorites is encountering an awesome Pixar-like ‘room’ essentially allowing me to venture inside and somehow escape replicating a [T$%] Story-like design. Someone at Looking Glass has good taste being inspired by the 1995 film huh. And to think this was an optional target I could’ve missed. I. Am. Amazed. Sure the rest of the content isn’t filled to the brim with cool sets like those, but to a degree, they offer a unique hodgepodge of interesting locales to wonder and gawk at least. As a newcomer coming into the series I did not expect at all to admire the sheer size of these levels. Some are more subtle in ways before a certain fire nation attacked delving into the mysticism of earth, wind, and water extending the dev’s creativity to their utmost limit. The elements become more profound and are used intricately as I delve deeper into the endgame. Changing the propensity of manmade structures into natural habitats. Surfaces of the earth and elevating platforms in one section demonstrate the move from traditional simple human paths to complex passageways. Can be confusing at times, but hey remember! You have a handy compass and a map too! So all is not lost. A master thief enjoys establishing their path forward through balanced platforming and embracing the wonders of being lost in the thrill of discovery.

Hell the power to jump provides excellent mobility in areas and the level design pays off in spades demonstrating to great effect. For example, Imagine facing a fort with no possible entryway. Ok well, let me go around to see for any wooden roofs or beams. Voila, there is! Shooting a rope arrow then. I climb and then acrobat onto the rampart. But wait, the door is locked inside! Hmm. The new plan is to head to another rooftop and get inside from there. I climb to the nearest rampart point then give myself a boost and ledge grab my way onto my destination. Successfully entering with no one aware. The ledge grab is super satisfying to enact every time. Although I quickly save before I launch myself just in case I fail. Yet holding the jump button is easy to maneuver and painless to execute.

Almost delving into the point of frustration at times, yet never truly becoming mad to the nth degree I wanted to throw my controller. Perhaps due to the save at anytime system in place making retries quick and painless. It is a relief to operate an easy system to retry failed attempts since most levels are so large. Not an open world at all. Garrett conducts most of his missions at different new locations within the metropolis, which we can explore without a time limit. And there’s always something new to look forward to. I ventured into a manor to steal a scepter. Dived into the pits below to enter hidden caverns and reach a prison facility. Sought treasure in abandoned ruins, boldly stole a precious item between two thieves' guilds, and enacted revenge on a rich dude who tried to assassinate me. Seriously the gall of that guy.

Sound design is brilliant, harsh, intense, and fair. And this is weird. Usually, I praise the heck out of the soundtrack, and while it is good. In Thief I found it more enjoyable to analyze how the gameplay and level design work in tandem with the soundscape. Each step you take and every breath you make is calculated. Go on the steel floor versus carpet and rugs and you can see the clear difference upon nearby patrols. Rugs and carpets muffle your steps while treading on steel produces loud noises capable of making any close enemy's senses go on alert. Any action like swinging your sword, launching an arrow, or even bringing out blackjack to play whack a guard heightens an enemy's awareness. G-dude will exhale after an action and it's gotten to a point where I hold my breath whenever I have a close encounter. Exhaling once the coast is clear. Sights and sounds are interconnected. If you’re in a very dark area, chances are you become neigh invisible compared to a brightly lit room. Staying in the shadows like a sneaky fella pays off. And thankfully, you can stay in a crouched position than a normal pose to conduct your sneaky endeavors. Harsh, but I kid you not I repeatedly felt it was balanced throughout at no point during my time did I feel it was brutally unfair at all times. Rather the usage of noise in this instance facilitates between easy to hard and complex as you dive deeper into the latter stages. As if the devs are saying “Hey, we are increasing the difficulty gradually, no steep cliffs or curveballs.” And I like it. Keeps things fresh and exciting to uncover new hurdles. Supernatural entities like zombies and spirits have this ghastly voice. I found myself with chills crawling up my back. And goodness the regular harmless citizen will shout for help to call attention to your current position. Tension is alive. Stress remains an ever-constant companion when pursued, and patience is needed every day for every hour.

Lastly, I also want to praise the main objectives of missions and AI. The latter for being smart and dumb. Patrols once memorize their route and what their limit is. Abusing their ai becomes rinse and repeat and oh so satisfying. Never waking up after becoming unconscious. Some enemies of different classifications will vary in their sight and danger capability. I.E. Seeing farther and more acutely aware of their surroundings than the usual shmuck of a guard with base intelligence. Think of them as elite guards who have an intruder radar built in updated to version 2.0 than the base version. Hearing better on how loud footsteps are near along with acute 20/20 vision if close in line in sight. This is fascinating and as I progressed deeper into the game, proved once again the devs are challenging me to be better. Goals likewise increase in complexity. You have standard, hard, and expert. Differs from traditional modifiers of upping the enemy's health I usually see in other games. Their parameters increase meaning more tasks to do. A 'normal' setting would indicate one or two retrieve an item and escape. 'Hard' adds a couple more like finding another item in conjunction with the main goal. Expert unleashes a full page of tasks to do. From not killing anyone, finding multiple items, checking with a friend of yours, and attaining a set amount of money all while completing the main quest and escaping to boot. Here are several examples of differences in difficulty. Insane. Furthermore, as I continued with 'expert' on all missions, they largely increased my time in a level due to how large they can be. I usually spent an hour or two depending on the size. Only occurred on max settings. If you try the standard option you can breeze through levels much faster. The addition of higher parameters causes an interesting shift to occur for the player. Thus I had to explore as much as possible, find hidden secrets, embrace the longer plans, being meticulous to survive and not incur any of the killings. The game is much easier killing anyone you come across. But a master thief should never kill. Only retrieve what was ordered and then get out without a fuss.

Time for my mixed feelings. Not a positive or a negative. Just some points from the game I think could be improved, tweaked for the better, and concerns I had. Didn’t affect my overall experience in a major manner.

First, same old, same old textures - Once I saw gray walls, gray bricks, stone pavement, same dirt in more than half of the missions, and frequent density in the latter stages it all became blurred together. Brought up with the maze-like corridors. I felt myself seeing the familiar paths without end. You don’t have a minimap either except a paper map that will vaguely pinpoint where you are. Therefore I had major deja vu. “Haven’t I been here before?” Thankfully, this isn’t egregious and the level variety for what it’s worth elevates everything else. Making it not so noticeable to see constantly. Makes me wonder if the sequel shakes things up a bit with colorful terrain when appropriate. I’m not asking for a rainbow from the color spectrum, merely suggesting slightly distinct patterns.

Second, Some objectives can be a bit vague to find. Like Mission 3. To retrieve the soul of the mystic required me to check everywhere and refer to my papyrus notes for hints and clues. Further, targets or items are not given exact instructions sometimes. Up to you to piece things together. Granted I personally like the non-approach to hand-holding, but some of these goals can be a real head scratcher. If you don’t come across hints and clues, eavesdropping a guard or finding a key to unlock another passageway or door is often the right path forward. Gentle reminder to explore thoroughly. Or use a guide when needed.

Third, May need a tool like a fire, water, or rope arrow to progress. While not required for every assignment. The wire is invaluable and shouldn't be utilized every so often at every opportunity. Elementals to a lesser degree, but still keep them in stock. Most of your inventory is consumables. And while you can find new ammo during a heist, it is best to at least save a decent amount. For situations when you require them. Sucks to use up all of your stock for minor loot grabbed when they may be needed for a critical venture.

Fourth, Wish some missions had health potions available close by. They’re pretty scarce in a job. Some later missions they in my opinion feel needed to help progress rather than me forcing a quicksave and quickload. Saving my health. Enemies can swarm you if you’re not careful and having more health is better than being one-shot. G-guy isn’t some deadliest warrior. So don’t think you can expertly assassinate any bloke. Keep in mind, I played on expert which usually required no bloodshed. Lowering settings offers no restrictions to eliminating anyone.

Fifth, Controls can take some getting used to. I tried keyboard and mouse and found the initial impression cumbersome so I switched to a controller setup and found it far better. Only had to input a couple more keybinds manually and I was fit as a fiddle to steal! Borrow items. I suggest changing them if you feel weird handling your main character.

Sixth, due to the title being more than two decades old I highly recommend some of these mods I installed to grant an enhanced vanilla experience. Most you can find via a respective PC gaming wiki article. I did use a faithful texture pack. Not the popular one. Feel they change the original textures too much. I’ll leave the choice of what pack to choose up to you. I prefer Enhancement Pack 2.0 alpha.

Mods:

Unofficial patch for Thief 1/Gold - “improves compatibility with new pcs significantly, fixes graphic issues, adds support for widescreen resolutions and much more.”

Texture pack - “Replace all the old, low-quality objects and textures from Thief 1 and 2 with versions that have higher polygon counts and texture resolutions, while keeping as close to the originals as possible.” - This is the hardest mod to install. For some reason, the directions given resulted in half of the textures being improperly replaced. Displaying half high quality and half low quality. Inside you need to edit an ini file to put in the correct mod_path. Here is what I had that finally got everything to work. Hope it works for everyone else. If not, your mileage might vary.

mod_path usermods+mods\packfix+mods\candles+mods\EP\Thief1+NecroAge\Thief1+NecroAge+EP2\Thief1+EP2+mods+mods\t2skies+mods\EP+FMdml

Take a screenshot before the mod is installed and after to see if everything worked out. The rest of the mods I didn't have any trouble inputting.

Subtitles - Self-explanatory. In-game there is no option for subs. With this mod, you can read the spoken dialogue instead of straining your ears.

Sound Enhancement Pack - Makes all sound enhanced and not muddled. Providing clearer audio in both speech and sfx.

60 FPS Video Pack - Original videos are in a low resolution. With the video pack, all the videos are replaced with higher framerate and resolution.

Aside from minor tinkering to get the game up to speed and my barely noticeable mixed feelings. Thief shines when unconventional level design meets strong simple foundations in the gameplay to accentuate and enhance both categories. At its worst players(maybe newbies) may have difficulty in grasping the maze-like paths to reaching their objectives along with vague to almost obscure hints to their solutions(not always, uncommon I think). More so on increasing levels of difficulty than normal I feel. The central narrative I expected to be boring. And in turn I was mentally preparing myself for underwhelming. So to my delight, I was extremely glad to be wrong and found myself beset with a decent narrative and ultimately a likable protagonist.

Finally reaching the end of my trail I found Thief Gold impressed me to a degree I can’t stop thinking constantly about the missions inside. I adore it so much I had to hold off on playing the rest of the series so I won’t get burned out if I continue to run-non-stop at every entry. Filled with lengthy missions depending on difficulty and fair gameplay mechanics to tackle in whatever and however manner you so choose. A freedom in gameplay philosophy I love! And honestly its given me more thought to level design in general and the approach of AI to objectives. I encourage anyone to give it a shot. Especially those who love Stealth or dipping their toes into the genre. For those curious about this old title, it still holds up quite well. Especially if you installed mods to bring it up to modern standards. And hey here’s one tidbit I found fascinating. Turns out Ken Levine worked on Thief along with Warren Spector. These guys would ultimately father some well-known titles down the road. Pretty insightful stuff. I bet we're in for Shocking Examples down the road.

8.5/10

References & Additional Material:
Thief Black Parade Mod
Different Examples of Difficulty
Thief 1 Credits
Mods - Thief PC gaming wiki - Thief 1/Gold Unofficial patch - Sound Enhancement Pack - 60 FPS Video Pack - Texture pack
Subtitles

Edited: 4-3-24 - Small correction on Blackjack use. From human to nearly every enemy. Thanks to @blackcat for the correction! After the small edit. 99% of review still intact.

The most fun Star Wars game to play!

Love the gameplay and the novelty of being able to play on so many iconic maps from the film series as well as a dozen or so heroes and villains. Everything the first game did this does better. The Rise of the Empire storyline deserves its own movie or miniseries because its that interesting. The attention to detail is insane down to having Han frozen in carbonite and the Rancor on Jabba's Palace or the trash compactor on the Death Star.

My only real flaw is I wish there were some more heroes to play as like where is Padmé, Qui-Gon, Lando and Plo Koon etc. as playable heroes?

Favourite Hero to play as: Luke Skywalker
Favourite Villain to play as: Darth Maul

Favourite Maps
1. Death Star
2. Jabba's Palace
3. Geonosis
4. Hoth
5. Bespin
6. Tantive IV

"I Dive." -Dave

The surprise Indie* Hit Of The Year, Dave the Diver is a game that's occupied a strange space for me, as I've seen endless praise for it from vidja insider types but I have seen literally nobody actually talk about it. Maybe I just live under a rock but I heard nowhere near as much talk of this thing compared to something like Pizza Tower or Fear and Hunger, which dwarf this thing in cultural footprint despite apparently being less successful. Surely, something was amiss here.

There wasn't, the game's just a perfectly adequate AAA puppeting the skin of an indie game. The cycle of diving to restaurant managing is fun enough for a time, but after a while too many features creep their way in and I decided to hop off the ride before I knew I'd get bored n overstuffed. Wish the game had a smaller scope, it's definitely trying to do too much at once. I just want a game where you hunt for fish and serve them at a restaurant, I don't wanna do farming and gambling and shit! Dave's got too much dip on his chip!

The real thing that sinks the experience for me is just how soulless everything feels. The pixel art is nice but lacking in any real character or personalty, the dialogue has no wit or charm to it, and the ocean environments are largely vacant and bland. How anyone was convinced this was an actual indie game is beyond me, this has the "buffered and polished down all the edges and gnarly bits that leave the product with nothing to latch onto" vibe that basically all big budget games have now. just in 2D. One of the characters is just a weeaboo trope from 2013. It just ain't got no sauce to it!