"We have Mortal Kombat at home...again?"
Woah woah hold up, this one is actually kinda cool. It turns out in my original journey to the Atari Jaguar to play Kasumi Ninja and fulfill my urge for crap fighting games I was being misled by the powers that be. It turns out the internet was so distracted by a Scotsman shooting fire from their penis that they deliberately wanted to me not know about this very very Doom-inspired death metal album cover fighting game. With a name like "Ultra Vortek" I would've figured it'd be some mid-grade shmup, most likely with Verytex on the Genesis/MD to blame for that. Verytex, but with more Ultra, actually it's death metal Mortal Kombat! Who woulda thunk it? Not me surely.
We have robots named "Buzzsaw" mimicking Scorpion down to his idle pose, a fusion of Raiden and Nightwolf who fights you in the hood, and a goddamn rastafarian guy by the name of "DREADLOC" with a polearm who stuns people by blowing smoke in their faces. Holy shit, what a roster. While the name of "Skullcrusher" sounds horrifically generic, it singlehandedly solos the entire roster of Kasumi Ninja with their use of a move called "Brain Fryin' Microwave". The music is full of guitars going "BRRRRR", and while it lacks substance my ears are still here for it. I've droned on about "death metal", but pretty much all the stages remind me of the shitty covers by rookie year bands just starting out of their dad's garage. It's a very very good look, you may disagree, but it's my constitutional right to bonk you on the head for doing so.
It lacks polish obviously, but moves actually have inputs that don't make me question the meaning of existence. I don't need to hold the C button and go "beep bop boop" with the dpad just to throw a damn fireball at someone, and I absolutely respect that even if it feels like half the roster is charge characters. Don't get me wrong, this thing isn't exactly the second coming of King of Fighters 2002, but compared to Kasumi Ninja it may as well be. This right here? THIS WAS WHAT I WANTED. This is the bollocks I was looking for. You can also turn the opponent into poop with a "poopality", which to be frank is better than babalities, because i hate babies. I don't enjoy poop either, but it's a crapton funnier turning your opponent into fecal matter and going "you poop now, begone".
It's a shame this thing is stranded on Atari Jaguar, I'll probably be retirement age if I'm lucky by the time this system gets fightcade support and that's assuming it isn't massively desyncing all over the place when I try to play it with a friend from Brazil.
Woah woah hold up, this one is actually kinda cool. It turns out in my original journey to the Atari Jaguar to play Kasumi Ninja and fulfill my urge for crap fighting games I was being misled by the powers that be. It turns out the internet was so distracted by a Scotsman shooting fire from their penis that they deliberately wanted to me not know about this very very Doom-inspired death metal album cover fighting game. With a name like "Ultra Vortek" I would've figured it'd be some mid-grade shmup, most likely with Verytex on the Genesis/MD to blame for that. Verytex, but with more Ultra, actually it's death metal Mortal Kombat! Who woulda thunk it? Not me surely.
We have robots named "Buzzsaw" mimicking Scorpion down to his idle pose, a fusion of Raiden and Nightwolf who fights you in the hood, and a goddamn rastafarian guy by the name of "DREADLOC" with a polearm who stuns people by blowing smoke in their faces. Holy shit, what a roster. While the name of "Skullcrusher" sounds horrifically generic, it singlehandedly solos the entire roster of Kasumi Ninja with their use of a move called "Brain Fryin' Microwave". The music is full of guitars going "BRRRRR", and while it lacks substance my ears are still here for it. I've droned on about "death metal", but pretty much all the stages remind me of the shitty covers by rookie year bands just starting out of their dad's garage. It's a very very good look, you may disagree, but it's my constitutional right to bonk you on the head for doing so.
It lacks polish obviously, but moves actually have inputs that don't make me question the meaning of existence. I don't need to hold the C button and go "beep bop boop" with the dpad just to throw a damn fireball at someone, and I absolutely respect that even if it feels like half the roster is charge characters. Don't get me wrong, this thing isn't exactly the second coming of King of Fighters 2002, but compared to Kasumi Ninja it may as well be. This right here? THIS WAS WHAT I WANTED. This is the bollocks I was looking for. You can also turn the opponent into poop with a "poopality", which to be frank is better than babalities, because i hate babies. I don't enjoy poop either, but it's a crapton funnier turning your opponent into fecal matter and going "you poop now, begone".
It's a shame this thing is stranded on Atari Jaguar, I'll probably be retirement age if I'm lucky by the time this system gets fightcade support and that's assuming it isn't massively desyncing all over the place when I try to play it with a friend from Brazil.
2 Comments
Wearing that badge proudly.
HylianBran
1 year ago