Comedy is always done in threes, but there is just something about games that never quite land the same way. It's not exactly that Splatoon 3 is a bad game, but rather it doesn't feel like it helps stir the ship ahead. Having what effectively was similar multiplayer games mixed together with a campaign that feels more akin to a mix of both of Splatoon 2's main and dlc campaigns just kinda makes it feel misdirected in what it wanted to do.

It's more so that I just don't feel surprised at Splatoon 3's campaign, and a lot of the fun with the previous campaigns came from looking for treasures and arts that were hidden in each level. Add on to the fact that a lot of the main Splatoon campaigns felt like they had very lengthy levels with unique designs that suit it compared to what feels like a short burst of challenge that Octo Expansion had makes mixing the two level philosophies feel off. Often Splatoon 3's campaign just doesn't feel like it understood why the previous campaigns worked as well as it did by simply mimicking the exploration overworld design of the first and second; while giving a short burst level design that Octo Expansion had. It's more so that levels just don't feel as rewarding to clear because you're just getting currency to unblock obstacles, and you're not getting to explore everything at once because too many parts are locked thru said currency.

The levels Splatoon 3 provides are still quite fun though, providing unique challenges throughout, and often showcasing any new elements that 3 has added. The new idols bring a whole new dynamic to the series by both being fantastic boss battles, and genuinely quirky, love-able characters. Not to mention, that the final stretch to the final boss absolutely nails any kind of hype it wanted to have, and effectively understood the assignment that Octo Expansion laid out for it.

Of course, I'm still burying the big led here, and effectively Splatoon 3 does the best job of the franchise when it comes to what it offers to start with, and how to treat veteran players. Gone are the obligatory wait times to get into rank battles, and the long grinds to get certain weapons that you would want. The game has all it's modes ready to go, and has far more maps to work with compared to the previous games lackluster start. Splatoon 3 even added a whole new mode with 3 way splatfest battles that really help provide a far different vibe and chaotic nature that feels completely different from any other mode out there.

Really Splatoon 3 is just a fine game that just sort disappointed me in terms of how it handles itself. I'm aware that the game can always get better from it's 2022 version of it, but as it stands I'm just not as affectionate for it as I was the previous games. By all means it does everything right in terms of style, music, and charm. The only real problem I see with Splatoon 3, however, is just not feeling unique enough compared to the previous games. Pretty good game overall, but just feels like it's missing something.

I feel hurt, betrayed. What once was a new found love quickly soured in ways unimaginable at the beginning.

I may have been foolish when I began this journey, but who could blame me when it was too good to be true. A cult classic with an amazing gameplay loop that rewards patience and understanding of its systems. Each dive into the Labyrinth tested me and the Big Bois guild to push us to the limit. We had to scrounge up every little dollar we could just stay at the inn every night. Getting beyond the first floor seem like an indomitable task. New armor was a pipe dream laid out by the capitalist pigs that incentivized our journey.

Of course, then everything changed. We broke through the ceiling, got through Fenrir on the 5th floor and began to attain the recognition we deserved, along with the wealth that came with it. Soon we no longer had to escape to the surface when we explored half a floor. We could push and push and only return when we had hit the limits of our loot carrying capacity. Money became meaningless, gear came with ease. We no longer had to do quests for the townsfolk to make ends meet, the Big Bois were the foremost guild in all of Etria.

At the end of the Azure Rainforest we ran into our hardest challenge yet. Corotangrul, a guardian of the forest folk who lived below, claiming a whole floor to himself. It's understandable why the forest folk sent him to attack us, they said we were intruders who did not understand the ramifications of our actions. We thought only of the glory of the surface above and not of the lives we would affect down below. Still, Corotangul was deafeted, and we marched forward with a new stone tablet holding hidden information from us. Perhaps now was the time to learn of these people and the nature of the Labyrinth itself.

We gave the tablet to the Radha government above for them to research, and with that we carried on our mission. We explored all of floor 16 to learn more of the forest folk who lived below. While not much information was gleaned, we found that the only way forward was to use the stone tablet we retrieved before. Returning to the hall they told us they would give it to us if we accepted one final mission from them, "Annihilate the Forest Folk".

I'm not your Christopher Colombus Atlus. I'm not playing your game to live out some sick persons fantasy of genociding a group native people. You may not let me progress without it but I will not progress with it. My time here has come to an end, our relationship soiled on the eve of our wedding. One day I wish for closure, until then I stay here sickened at the thought of any member of the Big Bois guild committing mass murder.