considering WotC and chimera squad were already Figurative Marvel Shit, the pivot to Literal Marvel Shit is about the least surprising thing ever; if you didn't see this coming I suggest staying out of the entrail reading business. the real surprise here's that everyone buried the lede blubbering about deckbuilding stuff so thoroughly that I had no idea this was Meet n Fuck Marvel

not since borderlands 2 has a game's dialogue filled me with the primal unease of an ape seeing a particularly snakelike vine. started this up while my wife was in the shower and when she texted asking if I could make some coffee I knew the choice was to smash ALT+F4 or risk being divorced on the spot

the cardgame bit I'm kinda whatever about. I think I'd like it more if the camera was positioned anywhere else and it didn't lean so hard into Epic Cinematic Presentation that even the most basic actions take a century to unfold. it's cool you can do the type of MTG blue deck bullshit where your turn lasts so long the person on the other side of the table regrets being a nerd, but not cool enough to endure the simpering social layer, endless cutscenes, and deranged tutorializing that make up the bulk of the game

have to imagine you'd have a better time stuffing hulk hands in your ass while playing slay the spire

Reviewed on May 21, 2024


12 Comments


30 days ago

i had a professor who works at firaxis shill this game to the class (he didn't work on it though, he's on the civ 6 team), i gotta watch one of my friends playing this to see "meet n fuck marvel" lmfao. also whatre your thoughts on slay the spire since you mentioned it

30 days ago

This comment was deleted

30 days ago

the dialogue is HORRENDOUS man. insufferable to a truly heinous degree

30 days ago

@yeij
it's very, very close to a dating sim while skirting the bits that would cement it as one. I don't think there's full on romancing involved, but it builds directly off that template and tone for its social layer and you go on Not Dates and shit. not as fun as I made it sound, I'm sure, but it's soo close and so built around making the player feel special that it's hard not to draw the comparison

I like slay the spire. I'm not in love with it the way some people are, but it's one of the roguelites that I'll load up every once in a while and do a few runs in and have a good time. deckbuilding's never really been my thing outside of the occasional mtg draft tournament when I was younger, but for what it is I have no big issues. cool ass game, definitely like it more than monster train or the other clones I've tried and if I squint I can see a version of myself that has 1000 hours in it. maybe if it came out 10 years earlier

30 days ago

@dreamboat
it's fuckin miserable, and I couldn't believe it persists during the combat layer. you can't go 10 seconds without another quip

30 days ago

Trying not to read this because I planned to write my own (ironically) abandonned review of this before the week is up, but if you're anything like me then I'm going to assume the dialog makes you want to take an acid bath.

30 days ago

@weatherby
nailed it. maybe two for good measure

29 days ago

I think even just merely imagining this game according to your description has made me feel mildly ill

29 days ago

@_YALP
mildly ill is what I strive for so this pleases me!!

29 days ago

Ok, now I read it. Good review. I want to run through the castle with a hammer and attack everyone.

27 days ago

I actually liked Midnight Suns but for "mysterious reasons" I just didn't ever play it after my first three sessions, and reading this I think the mansion stuff really wore on me.

WOTC was already pushing it with the menus upon menus and characters basically becoming hero units in their own right, but I could forgive it because 1) it was still XCOM and 2) menus are menus, they ultimately just amount to clicking.

I wrote this comment before going out and getting a tooth removed and now that I'm back at my PC I forgot the point I was trying to make because of the anesthetic.

Superheroes, right? Fuck 'em. THis comment goes out to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan.

27 days ago

@miramiraotw
if it weren't for the mansion I think I'd have stuck it out for sure. I like xcom enough to trust that this all goes somewhere eventually, and I think I could handle the tone in smaller doses, but it's so fuckin extra

I like wotc a lot in spite of it basically being unrecognizable as an x-com (like, ufo defense) thing. it feels well aligned with what firaxis had been linearly building toward and while I don't exactly love the hero stuff or the deluge of menus or supervillain monologues it's a massive update that almost feels closer to a companion piece to vanilla xcom 2 than anything else. I never finished it cos I got around to it late, but I think of it pretty fondly when I look at it as it's own weird thing

lmao, these things happen. fuck em!! (but also someone please make an "oops all combat" mod so I can enjoy this one day)

27 days ago

if it wasn't for the mansion? I am bad at words unless I'm talking shit