So I don't own a PS5, but I'm very much a fan of Silent Hill. Lucky for me, a good friend of mine does own a PS5, and we decided to get a few beers, sitting down for this short little horror game. I wasn't expecting much after what I heard about it. Wow, this was so bad it kinda became hilarious. It's one of the worst walking simulators I have ever played, and the writing was beyond trash. And I know this will not mean anything to English speakers, but as someone who's second language is German, the attempt to set this in Germany was hilariously incompetent. Not only does it not look anything like Germany at all, but every piece of writing in the game was littered with spelling mistakes I would have bullied people in pre school for. PS1 games from the 90s would be ashamed of how bad they fucked up, not even joking. I love drawing in my Skizzezzen Buch and being part of the Neuzugäng.

We probably took way longer than most people to reach the end because we had to pause every 5 minutes to just riff on what we were seeing. When it finally hit me that they called one of the central characters Maya Hindenburg, I actually got up and left the room. My brain couldn't handle it. That's like setting your game in the US and naming someone John Guantánamo, or calling a Japanese character Miyamoto Nagasaki. This must have been created by AI, no way this was approved by a real person in the year 2024. Anyway, if you're not convinced Silent Hill is dead, here's more evidence of its beaten and bloody corpse with Konami squeezing every last penny out with a fucking vice. Man, Silent Hill 2 Remake is going to be hilarious.

Silent Hill: The Short Message kind of stumbles to its point, and the acting and gameplay are really a distraction from what it gets right.

The acting is pretty atrocious, it took me out of it literally every time it popped up, which sucks because it happens A LOT. The Live Action scenes also just clash with the rest of the game. This is not a meta Alan Wake narrative, I dont even know why it was done, other than them just not wanting to do one extra character model. Considering how bad the main character looks, I can't say I'm surprised.

The chases are literally everything wrong with this "chase horror" survival horror genre that all these walking simulator horror games have done for a decade now. You start the game, unnerved. You are afraid to see the monster, this begins the building of tension at seeing the monster/getting a jumpscare. You walk through the game world until you encounter it finally, and now the first chase is a heart pounding experience where you don't want to be caught. The second you do get caught in any of these games though, the illusion is broken. You watch the canned, one hit/grab kill animation, you're sent back to the last checkpoint, and you start the chase again. Every subsequent time you repeat this, the scariness and threat of the monster is depleted, and the chase becomes more repetitive. Eventually the action of getting caught and dying becomes an annoyance, and resetting to start the chase over and over again brings the player to hate the monster. Not scared of it, hate it. Hate playing the game they are playing. This style of horror game SUCKS. The game also runs like ass during a couple of these moments.

It did have a couple things I think are really good. The music is great, it makes you feel like you're in a classic Silent Hill game, and it carries the tone a lot of scenes, despite the bad acting. The look of the building is great, and the monster is also very well designed. It looks creepy as it walks, and it makes you wonder, "what am I looking at?"

Problems aside, I can't get into people saying they shouldn't have even tried with this subject matter. Really? I'd so much rather them try and stumble to do something different than have the same SH2 twist that they've been doing over and over again since Homecoming to decreasing effectiveness each time. Yeah the acting sucked and we shouldnt hear our protagonist voice their thoughts so much to the player (This is a game, *I* am supposed to be the one getting scared. It's impossible to do when the character won't shut up!), but there is a message here. And I found myself thinking about my own situations I found similar to the story's.

All in all, the parts are here for something good, but it doesn't live up to its full potential. Still, I feel like I can't give this a bad rating. It's not even like they charged for it and we got ripped off. It could have been much better, but it could have been much worse. And Silent Hill fans have experienced much worse than The Short Message.

Maybe, only maybe, after all said and done, I got rhythm after all...

I did feel a bit nervous going into Hi Fi Rush, because even tho I’m not hesitant to show my love and appreciation for the rhythm genre, that doesn’t change the reality that is the fact I’m complete ass at them, so when mixing that with a 3D beat ‘em up combat style which, wouldn’t you know, I usually suck balls at too, then I was scared I’d be facing a doom or gloom situation. Either it all clicked, or I failed to catch its drift and begin to even enjoy it, I only saw those two possibilities and was really scared of the latter. I really wanted to love it, I really wanted to enjoy what seemed like a game made from sheer love and passion for the craft, and the prospect of not ‘’getting it’’ felt like some sort of looming threat over my head... Only now after beating it I realize that, even if that were to be the case, it wouldn’t change my feelings about any other aspect.

There’s so much to enjoy in and about Hi Fi Rush that I don’t really know where to start with; perhaps I could (and will) begin by praising the outstanding visual style, a wonderful mixture of colors and design that made me reminisce of the kind of futuristic punk seen in games like Jet Set Radio or even deBlob, with the difference being that the Vandelay campus doesn't hold back when it comes to being stylish. The corporation may be rotten, but fuck man, whoever oversees decorations needs a raise! Everything pops up with the beautiful cel shading that made me feel like I was playing through a moving comic book at times; seeing cinematics flow together into and after gameplay was a mastery of transition I was not expecting to witness, and how in it to its entirely dances to the rhythm in such a satisfying way.

I could (and will) also gush about the characters; the crew of Chai, Peppermint, Macaron and the rest of the gang with is hunger inducing names is a set of characters I really, REALLY wasn’t expecting to be so fond of, and hey, it’s nice to see a main character I can relate to... a complete idiot! I say that, but Chai manages to walk in the fine line that its between being lovably cocky and completely insufferable and coming out positively from it, and for such a simple and free of conflict narrative, it still manages to give him and the rest some incredibly impactful moments. Hi Fi Rush strays away for what I thought would be predictable plot points and instead tales a relatively simple tale with the perfect cast of goofballs, to the point I found myself wishing to see a little bit more or Peppermint’s struggles, more of Macaron’s character wise in general or that CNMN had more stuff to do ‘cause holy hell I love that fact spitting metal head so much (tho he gets the single best most surprising moment in the game so hey, you lose some you win some!). The villains are also a home run, never mind this game’s whole plot is about defeating dastardly suits — I’ve always wanted to bash a cybernetic CEO’s hed with a guitar!— but they are all so into being the specific trope or character they are going for that it’s impossible to not love to hate them, and honestly the big bad ends up being a bit boring personality wise compared to the rest of them (tho now that I think about, that was the intent, in which case it’d be pretty fitting to be completely honest), because they really are a riot.

Tho the funny factor isn’t limited to the big bads. There are so many jokes and gags that and that I feel like I’m watching an airport; whether it’s just the energy that the characters interactions ooze or simply the way they act between each other, Chais’ stupidity at the beginning (seriously I was laughing my ass off during that dream sequence), the way not just the main villains but the damn normal enemies are introduced and how you can discover that NONE of them were originally designed for combat despite being literal killing machines, or just incredibly funny moments like finding a random log of a disgruntled employee that decided to mess the coffee machine firmware, and for that to be a recurring joke THROUGH THE ENTIRE ADVENTURE, that, that right there, and I don’t use this word lightly (or use it in general for that matter), is PEAK humor. And what’s this? Very spaced use and references to memes that actually work as jokes in the moment and aren’t recent??? Hi Fi Rush, if you wanted my heart, you just had to ask!

Even if you think you know what you are getting yourself into, Hi Fi Rush always finds ways to surprise you. When you think you got this game nailed and it’s just combat sections between platforming and exploration zones then BAM!, it hits you with a new idea, a new enemy that introduces a new design, a new boss fight that completely changes how you approach combat, a new partner, a new cool moment, spaced perfectly between each other so they don’t grow tiring while close enough to keep you engaged. It never presents you with never seen before ideas, but it always finds ways to create jaw-dropping situations and mix and match concepts to create something that feels new, a sort of ‘’yoink and twist’’, if you will. There’s a never-ending feeling of ‘’wholeness’’ in this game, where everything works incredibly well when looked independently, but also as whole; it’s hard to not notice how much the game’s systems and ideas sip into one another and some things wouldn’t hit as hard if there wasn’t te other, like the music! It sounds good, they are fantastic tunes, but something is missing from them in re-listens, even the licensed ones... it misses the ASS-WHOOPING!

Seeing so many accessibility options calmed me down quite a bit when I started, but after a while, after playing and beginning the fights and the dance of combat... I was getting it! Not because I was good, oh no, my tempo is still very much far from perfect, and yet, I was getting it. The music began to flow through the sounds of fight and diging, the enemies attacking with the music the same you do, hitting the right times as well as dancing, it was a slow dance at first, but by the half-way point, I wasn’t going along the music, it felt as if I was making it through fighting alone. The new moves you get, the special attacks and interactions of your partners (which also make for some extremely fun platforming challenges) and upgrades nudge little by little, they compel you to be more daring, to dance faster, to be more aggressive, to know where to defend, to dodge and parry through your riffs and hits. Failing is part of the process in a way, it’s still really hard to get a perfect or even high rhythm score at first, and yet it’s fun, it made me want to keep trying, to be a rockstar.

It’s like a story or battle you’d imagine while listening to an intense rock song, only made into a 10-hour game full dream-like joy, and even beyond that thanks to the meaty post-game and incredibly fun side modes. An adventure with so many things to love that I even at this point in the review I wonder if was truly able to express them fully, Hi Fi Rus is a simple game in theory, but in practice is a wonderful, beautiful and funny odyssey, always hopeful and excited to keep going even when facing the clear dangers of such a conglomerate, always finding ways to surprise, to be welcoming, to make you feel like you got rhythm indeed. I know that many couldn't get into it even with the extra help, and I totally get it, it’s still a game that might reject you simply because it’s combat system is not fun or doesn’t click, that makes sense and I’m happy you at least gave it a go, but if you still haven’t, I implore you to give it a try, and even if you don’t jam with its battle system, who knows, you might find something else to adore about it...

Moral of the story? Finances are cringe, lesbians always win, Deemon can’t parry and 808 is best cat, that adorable (goof)ball is so precious...

If you take anything away from this review, I want it to be that unless you are a glutton for punishment and difficulty, you should choose Jill in your playthrough over Chris. The biggest debuff and the most painful one is the restriction to only having 6 item slots instead of 8, a choice that jumpscares me more than any zombified creature ever could. Yes, he has more health than Jill and is a bit better at handling weapons, but I promise you won’t be noticing that once you’re in the thick of it. On top of having more slots, her lockpick is also much better than Chris’ lighter. Having to expend an item slot for one-use keys is a luxury you can’t afford with Chris, yet sadly you are given no choice. So, expect a LOT of backtracking and having to make hard decisions on what to have on you at all times. Keep in mind none of this is communicated to you beforehand. If you already chose and chose wrong, may God have mercy on your soul. I managed it mind you, but it definitely played a huge part in my enjoyment.

Past that though, let’s talk about the actual game, content-wise. All due respect to what is the progenitor of many gaming tropes we see today, this entry just does not hold up well, remake or not. Resident Evil (2015) is a prime example of an instance where the whole is not greater than the sum of its parts. The dark and gloomy manor, the unique movement design, and a great deal of freedom on where to go make for what sounds like a decent time. That notion is shattered when you take a deeper look and consider the full picture.

Similar to many survival horror games after it, Resident Evil made the design choice of handicapping you in certain aspects to increase claustrophobia and challenge. The problem is they lay it on far too thick. Since I played Chris, I’ll speak only from that perspective. Hearing that Chris has better combat stats than Jill disheartens me greatly, because his attack potency was trash. Every little annoyance you could have with a game, technically speaking, is dialed up to 11 in Resident Evil. Most obviously, zombies take too many shots to kill, and it’s not something you can ignore or MLG shoot away.

Ammo is sparse already, and with the RNG critical hits, zombies just eating your shots like candy, and a wonky-jawed control scheme - one that I don’t mind otherwise by the way - it makes for a painful time that slows momentum to a halt. Add to that the backtracking to store items in an already very unhandholdy game in terms of progression, itself compounded by door transition cinematics, which is the one of the worst mechanics I’ve ever experienced. Whoever decided to keep that antiquated loading scheme from the original game should be given a stern talking to. There is no need to take five seconds every 30 seconds to load an empty room or hallway.

Suffice it to say I was starting to lose patience rapidly with this one. In fact, if item boxes didn’t share a universal storage, I would have probably put down the game completely in an act of stubborn defiance. Story on the other hand was a pleasant contrast. Not convoluted or unsubtle like later entries but enough to be intrigued by the world. Wesker definitely being the highlight of that. Though with how a few times I got stuck for a while before figuring out where to go, I sometimes forget the game even had a story until I got to whatever the next cinematic was.

Look, I heard through the grapevine that this REmake was going to get a remake soon. If I were you, I would just wait for that before playing this one. Seeing how successful and well-received the recent batches of remakes have been, I have high faith that they’ll do it justice this time. If you simply can’t resist, know you can do a lot worse. The game’s high points are there, they’re just buried underneath a pile of clunkiness. Just remember the two p’s: patience and picking Jill.

As someone who played the original Mario RPG for the first time as an adult only recently, the Mario RPG Remake blew even me away with feelings of nostalgia. It is such a faithful reimagining of a game that means so much to so many people. The visuals of the game felt so true to the original and it added such a spark of magic to see all the beloved characters from 1996 come to life in the HD cutscenes. The remade soundtrack had such care and thought put into it as well. Veterans of the series may be left with a want for a hard-mode option though, as the game still hedges on the easy side. Overall this game was a delight to play from beginning to end, and I look forward to checking out some of the post-game content.

Is and will always be my favorite game of all time. The gameplay, the story, the graphics, the propaganda for the military industrial complex; it’s all just perfect. The only thing that could be more fun than this game is making a dumb gimmick account as something to do when I’m bored during work and getting a surprisingly high amount of clout amongst a community I mostly chose not to engage with. Thanks for 10,000 likes.
Also, Fidel Castro is like the rawest video game character of all time and I wish he was real so fucking much.