saku_real
9 reviews liked by saku_real
This review contains spoilers
Honestly, I have so much to say about this game but also so little. In short, this game is just another shitty compilation game. It's not some genius remake-sequel concept that Remake's ending teased... it just truly a bad remake. They glitz everything up with pretty graphics, epic cutscenes, and top-notch voice acting (and I mean, if there's one aspect this game nails... it's the voice acting because everyone is perfectly cast). But that all exists to hide how shallow this game really is. It's not just that this isn't as good as the OG, it also misunderstands what the OG was trying to convey in literally every big story beat. Genuine, heartfelt moments are ruined with over the top cutscenes that take you out of the moment, horribly timed and useless lore dumps, and long, flashy bossfights that take away from the sentiment of the moment. And it feels like they get worse as the game progresses. Like, I thought they messed up the Corel section by turning the tragic story of Dyne and his decent in madness into this Hollywood-ass "last stand" because godforbid our actions have consequences, but then Cosmo Canyon is somehow even worse. Red finding out the truth about Seto is one of the most poignant moments in the OG, but this game cannot let a moment breathe... they have to introduce this stupid as Gi Tribe nonsense to take you out of the moment. And then there's the ending... please don't get me started. It's so fucking awful. Not only is Aerith's actual death scene completely ruined because the writers couldn't help but do some fuckshit till the very last second (which btw, as a newcomer is probably gonna be so confusing) but they follow-up it up with so many long as fuck bossfights that you end up completely forgetting that she even died at all. And it's funny, because Jenova would've been a perfectly good final boss. I mean, every party member participates, there are multiple phases and it's a very fun fight... but nope. This is an FF7 game, which means we have to end on a Sephiroth fight.. and wait, there's more! Because this is a compilation game, we need Zack to be there and he has to epic and cool. In what is the most fan-fiction moment in the game, Cloud and Zack teamup to fight Sephiroth. And then Bizarro Sephiroth shows up because why not and we get what is probably the most irritating fight sequence ever before ending on another Sephiroth fight where... get this: Aerith shows up. Now, the fight itself was quite fun. But having Aerith shows up is so terrible on a narrative and thematic level, it's not even funny. It's just so bad, I'm kind of baffled. I really hate what they do with Cloud at the end too. The OG had a pretty honest and caring depiction of mental health, but in this game, Cloud just goes anime psycho and now we get Aerith's ghost parading around like she's Hannah fucking Baker. It's just so stupid. And you know, throughout the game the only thing I could ask is why? What as the point in doing all that shit at the end of Remake is Rebirth was going to be the same game anyway? Why remake the same game but 80x longer? Why add these dumb puzzles? Why am I doing any of these sidequests? Why does this game exist?
There are some merits to the game. The combat is genuinely really fun. Hard to remember that at times since the game throws so many bosses at you that I just get tired, but this combat is fun. The customization is fun. A lot of the mini-games are pretty enjoyable, as it the world exploration... until Chadley shows up. Seriously, I didn't have an issue with the guy in Remake because you could pretty much ignore him, but he just doesn't go away in this game. You cannot move around the world without his bothering you. Who thought that was a good idea?
I can certainly see myself returning to this game to finish up the stuff I left behind, because when I ignore the story, I actually do quite like it. The Gilgamesh stuff was really fun and I do want to see it again and I'd like to finish some of the other side content. It's the reason why I don't think this game is a 0/10, but this game is so frustrating. It butchers FF7 so hard. Nothing they add to this game means anything. It all exists for fanservice and that lack of artistic merit bothers me so much that it just muddies the whole experience. I think this may legitimately be my new least favorite video game of all time, and that sucks because I really, really wanted to like this game.
There are some merits to the game. The combat is genuinely really fun. Hard to remember that at times since the game throws so many bosses at you that I just get tired, but this combat is fun. The customization is fun. A lot of the mini-games are pretty enjoyable, as it the world exploration... until Chadley shows up. Seriously, I didn't have an issue with the guy in Remake because you could pretty much ignore him, but he just doesn't go away in this game. You cannot move around the world without his bothering you. Who thought that was a good idea?
I can certainly see myself returning to this game to finish up the stuff I left behind, because when I ignore the story, I actually do quite like it. The Gilgamesh stuff was really fun and I do want to see it again and I'd like to finish some of the other side content. It's the reason why I don't think this game is a 0/10, but this game is so frustrating. It butchers FF7 so hard. Nothing they add to this game means anything. It all exists for fanservice and that lack of artistic merit bothers me so much that it just muddies the whole experience. I think this may legitimately be my new least favorite video game of all time, and that sucks because I really, really wanted to like this game.
A deeply messy and conflicted game that shows the strains of the capitalist need to remake this game for money versus the interesting metanarrative of what it means to remake FF7. Swings from some of the most beautifully written and heartbreaking moments in any game ever to some of the most tedious gameplay slogs ever. It is the best and worst game in so many ways. The pacing is horrid and at the end of the day i think the open world bloat gets in the way of all the good this game does have. On the ending: it wants to have its cake and it eat it too. It shouldn't. Remake set up so many big swings and this game refuses to make good on those.
Rocko carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. No Shredder? No Rango? We do not care.
100% completed in 92 hours.
An exercise in disappointment. Xenoblade 3 is worse than the previous two entries, and even X, by a large margin.
There are a lot of bizarre choices, but most of all for me were the battle system, balancing and story in general.
The battle system is questionable in that it tries to be far, far simpler than 2's but it ends up being too messy. You have easier to understand gimmicks, but the gimmicks end up taking 0 brain power and are what consist of 99% of your battles. In every single boss battle, 90% of my damage were from the gimmicks and the regular combat just felt like a waste of time. This was sort of the case in 2 as well, but in 2 there was a sense of depth to the gimmick at least.
As far as the balancing goes, it punishes you if you do side content at all. I was consistently 10-20 levels above every story boss, and I wasn't even doing all of the side content, just a bit. What's funny is I completely skipped side content in the last third of the game and I was still vastly overleveled -- even for all of the side content. Once I hit level 65~ at the end of the midgame the only things left were the superbosses. While I was occasionally overleveled in 1 and 2, it was never that off.
The story's just kinda a dumpster fire, I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said to death. The pacing is glacial and every single conflict is stupid, they were lazy enough to make it so 'muh macguffin' was the context for nearly every fight in the entire game.
I ended up doing every sidequest and all the superbosses, but not without plenty of regret. The only area this game shines in is content. It's packed, but that's not saying it when most of it's hollow.
Anybody telling you this game is good or worthwhile probably hasn't finished or is trolling you. I refuse to believe otherwise. This game needs plenty of patches to even become average in quality.
An exercise in disappointment. Xenoblade 3 is worse than the previous two entries, and even X, by a large margin.
There are a lot of bizarre choices, but most of all for me were the battle system, balancing and story in general.
The battle system is questionable in that it tries to be far, far simpler than 2's but it ends up being too messy. You have easier to understand gimmicks, but the gimmicks end up taking 0 brain power and are what consist of 99% of your battles. In every single boss battle, 90% of my damage were from the gimmicks and the regular combat just felt like a waste of time. This was sort of the case in 2 as well, but in 2 there was a sense of depth to the gimmick at least.
As far as the balancing goes, it punishes you if you do side content at all. I was consistently 10-20 levels above every story boss, and I wasn't even doing all of the side content, just a bit. What's funny is I completely skipped side content in the last third of the game and I was still vastly overleveled -- even for all of the side content. Once I hit level 65~ at the end of the midgame the only things left were the superbosses. While I was occasionally overleveled in 1 and 2, it was never that off.
The story's just kinda a dumpster fire, I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said to death. The pacing is glacial and every single conflict is stupid, they were lazy enough to make it so 'muh macguffin' was the context for nearly every fight in the entire game.
I ended up doing every sidequest and all the superbosses, but not without plenty of regret. The only area this game shines in is content. It's packed, but that's not saying it when most of it's hollow.
Anybody telling you this game is good or worthwhile probably hasn't finished or is trolling you. I refuse to believe otherwise. This game needs plenty of patches to even become average in quality.
Glover
1998
It’s the biggest piece of dogshit
Resident Evil 4
2023
I loved the original Resident Evil 4 so much. It's one of my favorite games ever made, and it is nearly perfect every sense of the word. Notice how I said nearly perfect, because there was just a few issues: the game had too much soul and I hated that Salazar wore a hat. For years I had thought if only there was a game that could solve my problems.
I lived in agony until this fateful day, when Capcom gave me exactly what I wanted. This is why I game.
I lived in agony until this fateful day, when Capcom gave me exactly what I wanted. This is why I game.
Devil May Cry 2
2003
Kino
Devil May Cry 2
2003
this the best game to ever exist
Devil May Cry 2
2003
Yes, I played this game and enjoyed it. Yes, your wife gave me a blowjob while I played the high impact gameplay of Devil May Kino 2. Cope.