When I was like 12, my older cousin gave me his 360 and a bunch of his old games. This was unfortunately one of them. One stint of morbid curiosity later and my entire weekend was ruined. No, just no. I wish I could give this a zero, every single solitary frame from the opening scene to the credits is nothing but hell, actual torture. Fuck this thing, and fuck whoever made it. Usually I don't insult dev teams, but when the game is both horrendous AND has a sexist protagonist... yeah no, fuck all of you for making this.

This game has gained quite a reputation for being notoriously terrible, and I went in expecting more of a "so bad it's good" kind of vibe. However, it turned out to be just plain boring after a while. I must admit, though, the opening is surprisingly entertaining and funny, giving a good glimpse of the game's mechanics. Credit where it's due. The game is essentially divided into driving and combat arenas. While there have been many complaints about the driving, I personally didn't find it that terrible. Admittedly, I'm not very familiar with racing games, so maybe my perspective is different. As for the combat, it was more functional than I anticipated. However, Jake's kick move is ridiculously overpowered, repeatedly stunning enemies. Personally, I found shooting the enemies to be much more effective. Although, the continuous slow-motion effect triggered by headshots became particularly annoying over time. So, I was stuck choosing between the incredibly time-consuming melee or the really bothersome slow-motion headshots.

The story is laughably bad, centering around Jake's revenge plot as he tries to take down various gang members who killed his little brother. It's painfully obvious how unfinished this game is. One part made me go, "Holy shit, this can't be real." There was this text that appeared next to Jake saying, "All enemies in this arena have been cleared." Fixing such a simple issue would literally take 3 seconds in the development build. It really puts into perspective the insane production cycle this game must have had. In summary, it's a far more interesting game to learn about than it is to actually play.

represents a paradigm shift in the way bad games are produced. gone are the brain melting glitches, interminable gameplay sequences, and actual heart born out of barely functioning custom engines built by 3 people in the basements of office buildings in some of new jersey's most fucked up municipalities. in their place, unity and unreal optimization bugs, cookie cutter models and animations purchased off asset stores, and an endless parade of content creators with names like "uncle fucksticks" or "the silly british twat" ready to declare the latest boring, unfunny piece of garbage the "worst game of all time". that's why this game earns the SlimeEnthusiast official seal of peeyoo! i'd rather put a video game in my arse than play this thing! this is worse than finding bits of shite in your bradbury's jam and toast! 1 star.............................out of 5!