Metal Gear Burger


I have a sneaking suspicion this game is pretty epic. Play as the radical Burger King and surprise people with Burger King food. MGS was associated with Playstation however sneak king was the exclusive stealth action game on the Xbox. Sure you could play Splinter cell or some of the eventual MGS ports but as good as those games might be it lacks the simple joy of a burger king whopper. There’s a true wonderful novelty in a game like this. A garbage and stupid little product placement game that has loads of hilarious and ironic enjoyment.This from what I could remember this was actually a pretty decent stealth game and the stupidity of it all made up for lackluster mechanics. I remember this was such a funny game to experience as a kid and it’s a prime example of the bizzare games you can find on an Xbox.

There’s a true and honest level of kindness the king is able to provide as well. Giving people food just for the enjoyment of compassion and a good meal. Even if fast food isn’t the best the king has the best intentions. Surprising strangers with a free piece of meat. The king might get hate but he was a man with a noble goal. Shout out to the burger king.

light 3.5/5

Now that the dust has settled, what do we all think of Sneak King?

Before this last playthrough, I would've said Sneak King was the best of the trilogy with Big Bumpin' being the worst, but nearly twenty years removed, I'm afraid to say the BK hierarchy has changed.

It's tragic, because Sneak King's opening sets you up for something special. A still shot of a darkened driveway... The King appears from the shadows, stalking about like a predator, his visage a cruel mockery of the human form intended to disarm and draw in his prey. But this beast is no man, and his attempt mimicry is all wrong, glassy-eyed and without life. And then you boot up the game proper and find that it's just a crusty stealth title that asks you to do the same exact thing over and over and over again.

If Pocket Bike Racer's problem was too little content, then Sneak King's is that there's too much. Twenty missions spread out over four levels, but every mission tasks you with essentially the same objective: deliver delicious Burger King meals to hungry masses. The most variety you'll get in how you go about that is in what order you'll need to hit up the various NPCs sulking around the map or how often you're allowed to make a mistake. Sometimes you'll need to deliver [X] amount of meals without getting caught or by climbing into trash cans (coincidentally where I found my copy of this game, I think someone threw it out by mistake) or popping out of houses, but the amount of repetition here really sucks all the fun out. The King doesn't even need to take pentazemin to stop his hands from shaking when delivering Original Chicken Sandwiches™, this game's got no meat on its bones!

The controls are also horrible, which is something I actually wouldn't accuse the other two games of. Say what you will about Big Bumpin' and Pocket Bike Racer, but movement at least feels serviceable. Sneak King inverts the Y-axis and makes climbing into cover so laborious that your mark will likely move away or collapse from hunger before you're able to get into position. The King shrugging his shoulders and shaking his damn head because I botched the timing on his sandwich delivery while the camera was juttering behind a tree branch, what the fuck do you want from me, man? When we get to the sawmill I'm throwing your ass in a woodchipper [Warning: do not do this. The King cannot be killed by conventional means, he will come back and he will be stronger.]

Despite how bad it is, Sneak King is often the entry in the BK Trilogy that people talk about, because it is the most conceptually interesting of the bunch and the one to lean the hardest into the marketing that gave life to this iteration of The King. Tactical Burger Delivery Action is such a good-dumb idea that at least one man has dedicated his time and income to collecting any copy of the game he can find, and by a magnitude of cents it is the most consistently expensive title in the series on the aftermarket. Curiously, graded copies of the game are actually worth less than open CIBs. I understand the economics of this and why that's the case, but it's very funny to think Sneak King inherently has more value when played.

Ohhhh, wait a minute... Sneak King sounds like sneaking. Shit, I just got it.

guys shut up... yall are too loud im sneak KING around my house. why am i sneak KING around the house? well i was just wake KING up to my dog bark KING, as he was make KING a large racket in the house. it turns out, that a man hike KING nearby my house broke into it my place, and then started gawk KING at my beautiful bark KING dog. while yank KING my blanket off i run down the stairs and see the man look KING me right in the eyes. we start duke KING it out and unfortunately he starts whack KING at my face, then afterwards starts choke KING me by grabbing my throat. i am squak KING to get air in my lungs, then i start kick KING his balls to which he falls on the floor to get him off me. i then start shreik KING at the fact that this asshole broke into my house, presumably ransack KING it.