I'm having a hard time writing the review for this, so I'll keep it brief.
Coming from the high of Metal Gear Solid, I expected more of the same and that's largely what I got, plot twists and all. My favorite aspect of the game was the story, it was super engaging! It sucked me in just like MGS1 and I ended up beating MGS2 in under a week. I loved how modern it felt, with all the AI discussion and internet censoring. Still very relevant today, perhaps even more so. Please play it blind! You'll be pleasantly surprised.

Moving on, The controls were disappointing. MGS2 is my first experience with the PS2 despite having grown up in the 2000's, and I really do not like the pressure sensitive buttons. I got used to it by the end (sorta) but for most of my 12 hour playthrough, the buttons felt unresponsive and made snake/ raiden feel sluggish in return.
Putting the controller aside, the controls feel largely unchanged from mgs1 and I don't mean that in a good way. Oftentimes I would stick to a wall when I didn't mean to, or I would accidentally crawl while trying to shoot and then I would be a sitting duck, even climbing ledges felt clunky. There are some platforming sections mid game that were super frustrating because of this. I get that's kinda how stealth games should work but it still felt inopportune in certain moments. Swimming was clunky, there is still a tricky button mashing section like MGS1, I could go on.

The graphics and sound are impressive though. MGS2 has aged very well on that front, and I liked how footage from MGS1 was in some of the codec calls. I'm a sucker for fan service, I know. I need to find the score for this and put it into my vgm playlist asap! One could say the vibes are immaculate.

I'm not really sure how to word my feelings towards Metal Gear Solid's sequel. It was more of the same, which was both good and bad for me. I didn't enjoy it as much as the first game, but it was still quite memorable and I'll probably stick around to play the third game!

Timed exclusivity really sucks, you know what I mean? Like, you have this brand new game that is coming out, it looks so cool and fun, and you can’t wait to get your hands on it to play it for yourself… but then you find out it is exclusive to a console that you don’t have, and you have to wait even longer for them to release it to the console that you actually have. It is a real kick in the nads to be sure, and what’s crazy about this is that this has been a practice that has been a part of the industry for quite a while. For example, back in the days of the NES and SNES, Nintendo had a strict grip on their titles from third-party developers, requiring them to be exclusive to their systems for a year or so before they can be ported over to any other system (yeah, bet you thought they were only shitty towards their customers, didn’t ya?). However, there have been several cases over the years when developers have managed to find loopholes around this rule, managing to bring their games over to other systems while altering them just enough to where they won’t be upsetting the big N, such as the case with today’s game, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Hyperstone Heist.

For those of you who are aware of this game, then you would also know that this game is, in the most technical sense, the Genesis version of Turtles in Time. A lot of the game looks and plays exactly how that game does, but again, due to Nintendo being the spoiled child of the video game industry, Konami had to change A LOT of the game around, which in turn pretty much made it its own completely original game. Because of this, I had debated for a long time whether or not I should actually play the game for myself, because if it was essentially just another version of Turtles In Time, then why would I even bother? However, I looked into it more extensively, realized how different the game is from the original, and figured I would go ahead and give it a shot anyways, and I’m glad I did, as I thought it was pretty good for the most part. Is it better than Turtles In Time? HELL NO, but on its own, it is still a really good TMNT game that was fun to run through, and as an alternative for those who couldn’t get Turtles In Time back in the day, it does a great job at bringing the feel of that game over to this system.

The story is somewhat altered from the original game, where this time, instead of just the Statue of Liberty being taken away by the Shredder, the entirety of Manhattan is taken away, and the Shredder himself looks JACKED AS FUCK, so it is up to the turtles to set out once again, take down the Shredder and other foes, and save Manhattan, which is just about as ridiculous of a set up as the original game, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The graphics are pretty good, looking just about on par with the original game in terms of the general visuals, animations, and character designs, making it still very pleasing to look at, the music is great, with plenty of great tunes to be heard throughout, but a lot of the tracks are pretty much just lower quality versions of the original game’s tracks, so needless to say, I would much rather be listening to this over this, and the gameplay/control is what you would expect from a TMNT game as before, being just as action packed, fluid, and fun as ever, even if you have less options then before in a multitude of areas.

The game is your typical arcade style beat-’em-up, where you take control of one of the four Ninja Turtles, go through a set of five different levels themed around many different locations you would expect from this kind of game, cut your way through many different enemies such as Foot Soldiers, Pizza Monsters, The Thing from Marvel (obviously), and so on, using whatever ninja skills and tools that you have at your disposal, gather plenty of different pizzas that can not only heal you whenever you need it most, but it can also give you a temporary special attack so you can show those foot soldiers what’s what, and take on plenty of familiar faces as bosses, who can give you a hard time unless you have played Turtles In Time as much as I have, in which case, they aren’t exactly much of a threat. You know the drill by now, it is your typical TMNT experience, where you beat up dudes, eat the cheesy good stuff, and make the Shredder cry for his mommy, it comes with the territory, but it still manages to be fun regardless, and somewhat refreshing for those who were much more familiar with the original game.

Let me tell you, as someone who has been playing Turtles In Time for years up to this point, it was WEIRD going into this game, because despite how similar it is to that original game, it changes things up dramatically in several ways. Rather than focusing on a bunch of short, yet fast levels, the game only has about 4 and a half really long levels, which is an interesting change, as it not only excludes several levels from the original version, but it also combines several levels together from that game and the previous TMNT arcade game, which was neat to see. Not to mention, with these new levels comes with new bosses, with some obviously returning from the original game, but then you got new ones like a human version of Baxter Stockman, and even Tatsu from the live-action TMNT movies, both of which are… slightly annoying to fight, but it was cool to take these guys on regardless. Oh yeah, and you can also switch between different styles for the turtles themselves, which is a neat little feature, for those of you who care about that kind of shit.

But regardless, the game is still a TMNT beat-’em-up, which means you know exactly what to expect, which can cause those who are getting tired of these TMNT beat-’em-ups to groan and move onto something else, but it is perfectly fine for the rest of us. The game still manages to have satisfying combat, a good sense of speed with how you move about and take down your foes, and with a friend to join you by your side, you will be able to have a great time with this as you would with any other version of the game. It does kinda suck that some things did have to be omitted from this version, such as the fact that you can’t throw enemies at the screen, but hey, even with all that was lost in this version, what was left over and added onto it still makes for an experience that is well worth going through.

However, not everything about this game managed to live up to the original game, as there was one level of the game that I did not enjoy at all, which would be the fourth level of the game, The Gauntlet. Not only is the level itself really short, but it is also really boring, not having too much going on, and instead, it just leads you right into a boss rush, which not only feels completely unnecessary for a game as short as this, but also manages to piss me off specifically, as the guy who hates most boss rushes with a burning passion. Yeah, there is the Baxter Stockman boss at the end of it all, which is fine and all, but that doesn’t make up for most of this level being a repetitive slog that acts as a stain on an otherwise perfectly fine revision of a beloved arcade classic.

Overall though, despite The Gauntlet needing to go fuck itself, The Hyperstone Heist will never quite outshine Turtles In Time in terms of overall quality, but it still manages to be a really fun and very well done version of the game regardless, bringing you the same fast and fun gameplay of the original, new features and stages that were neat to see in action, and a great co-op experience if you have the right buddy to go on the journey with ya. I would recommend it for those who are big fans of Turtles In Time, as well as those who are big fans of beat-’em-ups in general, because while it may not blow you away, it still manages to be an entertaining romp through and through, and isn’t that what really matters at the end of the day? I’m just glad that I finally managed to play this game after so long, so I can get that demon off of my back for the foreseeable future. Although, now that I think about it, since I did play through this now, I suppose now I’m gonna have to play TMNT Re-Shelled at some point, aren’t I?......................... uhhhhhhhh………… don’t worry, I’ll think of some way to get out of playing it, just give me some time…

Game #582

(Part 3 of the Half Century Challenge, created by C_F. You can read their third review here)

In the depths of the ocean surrounding all of us in one way or another, there are plenty of different fascinating creatures that lurk below it, ones that are quite common for us to find, and even in some cases own as pets, and plenty of others that have yet to even be discovered by us at the time of me tying this review. One of the many different kinds of creatures that we do see often lurking below the water’s surface would have to be sharks, and for good reason. I mean, come on, they are only some of the best kind of fish that you could find, being very neat to watch go about their business, seeing the many different types of sharks out there, and even enjoying them with a nice side dish whenever you catch and murder one………… or at least, I assume they taste good, cause I have never eaten one myself before. Naturally, because sharks are cooler then you will ever be, there have been many different types of movies, games, or what have you entirely revolving around sharks and the things they do best, and in terms of video games, we would see ones involving sharks going as far back as the early 70s, such as the case with today’s game, Killer Shark.

Now, truth be told, I had no clue this game existed for a long time, and most of you probably haven’t either. If you were like me, you have probably only seen it once before during this scene in Jaws, not paying any mind to it, and just moving on with your day, but now that I do know about the game’s existence solely through this challenge that I am doing, looking back on it while knowing details about it is… pretty fascinating, not gonna lie. I did wanna try to play the game for myself, but unfortunately, I was not able to, not only because of there not being a machine of it anywhere near me (or probably anywhere else for the next five or so states), but given the way that the game works, you probably wouldn’t be getting the full experience of the game by trying to emulate it, so I decided to opt out of it. However, just because I can’t play a game doesn’t mean I can’t talk about it, so come along, friends, as I ramble on for a good couple minutes or so about this random game from 1972 that nobody gives a shit about! HERE WE GO!

One thing I gotta point out automatically with this thing is just the design of the machine by itself, as it does a pretty great job of automatically drawing me in. The simplicity of the design, the eye-catching colors that compliment each other, the very simple silhouettes of the diver and shark placed on it, all of it tells you exactly what you need to know about the game, and I imagine it managed to catch peoples’ attention back in the day effectively as a result, which is to be admired for this early on in video game history. The same can also be extended to the actual “graphics” of the game itself, which are dated and basic as shit, but they still look pretty good for the time, and the way that the sharks in the game are animated is charming, in an amateurish sort of way.

The objective of the game is very simple: you are a diver who is about to have the worst day of his life, when he runs into a vicious, killer shark, who follows the wise words of his fellow shark, Bruce, and doesn’t eat fish, but humans are ripe for the picking as far as he’s concerned! So you gotta swim away from that bitch as fast as you can, while armed with your trusty harpoon gun, which you will be using to fire at the shark for an unprecedented amount of time, because for some reason, it is a super mutant shark that can take many different shots from a harpoon. From there, you grab ahold of the plastic gun that the game presents to you and then take aim, shooting many different shots at the shark to make sure it regrets ever messing with you, racking up a very simple score that can be seen on the top of the cabinet, all within a time limit, to prove that you are the best Brody impersonator on the planet.

There isn’t really anything else that this game has to offer besides all of that from what I could tell. You shoot at a shark for a good while, you rack up points, you try to beat your friend’s high score, and that’s all she wrote, which is to be expected from a lot of arcade games like this, especially released this long ago, but once again, a lot of why I found this game to be so appealing was because of its simplicity and charm. The way that the shark moves around on the screen, the noises that the gun makes whenever you fire it, the incredibly simple scoring system on the top of the arcade machine, and the hilarious animation that plays whenever you actually hit the shark at any point. It definitely shows just how primitive video games were at that point, but at the same time, it is also pretty impressive for its time. Yeah, it is mostly just done using lights, with not much else helping it stand out visually, but in a time when your only other options out there were a game where you bounce a ball back and forth or some text-based adventures here or there, this shit is revolutionary in some sense, and I think that alone deserves some praise above all else.

Overall, Killer Shark was an interesting game to look over with the footage that I found online, as it not only shows just what kind of games could be made at this point in time, but also how to make something so simple as killing sharks feel so engaging and welcoming in video game form, and while I may not ever be able to play it, I am at least glad that I know of its existence, as well as how I can share it all with you guys to some capacity. If you wanna see the game in action for yourself, check out this video, as it does a pretty good job at showing off what this game is all about, and hey, maybe later down the road, I could try doing some more reviews in this kind of style, ones that are meant to observe a game rather than needlessly nitpicking the fuck out of it. I dunno, we’ll see how it goes. For now though, I think I’ll move onto a game that I can actually play, and one that involves less sharks dying. They already have it bad enough as is, what with them now snorting cocaine and becoming tornadoes.

Game #580

After seemingly striking “gold” with the release of the original Raiden game, Seibu Kaihatsu would go onto seeing just what more they could squeeze out of this little hidden shmup game they had with the release of a sequel, Raiden II, which was definitely another Raiden game, alright. Most of it was just basically a standalone expansion of that previous game, playing almost identically to that original game, but it did make some small, yet significant changes to the game that definitely made it the more preferable option over the original, and it was also similarly pretty successful, meaning that Seibu clearly needed to keep this train rolling if they were going to keep making games until the end of time. However, for now, the main Raiden series was gonna take a bit of a break for about a decade or so, as we jump into the wild and… oddly similar world of spin-off games that were made for this franchise, such as the case with the first spin-off this series would ever get, Viper Phase 1.

Y’all ever see any TV show or movie before that involves a character getting stuck in a time loop, where they need to do something very specific in the loop in order to break free from it and find out what is going on? Well, I feel like I am in my own personal time loop with this series, as despite being labeled as a spin-off of the series, this game is pretty much just another Raiden game copied and pasted over in all but name. And look, I get it, having a consistent formula is definitely important for keeping a series like this alive and well, but at the same time, people are gonna feel like they are reading one of my reviews after a while, seeing very little change, becoming greatly disinterested, and leaving to go check out something fresh and new. However, with that being said, I did still give the game a fair chance whenever I did play it, and you know what, I would dare say that this is the best game in the Raiden series so far. Sure, most of the game hangs on too closely to its roots for my own liking, and it does get rid of some stuff that does kinda suck to see go, but it still managed to be a really solid shooter that managed to remind me why I keep coming back to this series in the first place.

The story is somewhat more creative the previous Raiden games, where in the distant future of 2050, humans have begun to colonize and move onto many different planets in the solar system, but in this process, many start to feud and rebel against each other, with one group in particular sending an entire armada to take down Earth, so it is up to you to take flight and take down the rebels before it is too late, which is a bit more of an interesting story, but it is more or less just another excuse for you to go blow up more shit, and I am completely ok with that. The graphics are pretty great, looking very similar to that of the previous two games, except now it is a lot more smoothed out, much faster, and has some very impressive animations in comparisons to what came before, so I will give it props for that, the music is pretty good, with most of the tracks feeling very uplifting, giving you the courage to take down every single enemy that stands in your way, and it is great to listen to, and the gameplay/control is very solid all around, providing just the right amount of fast-paced, explosive action that you are looking for in a shmup, even if it doesn’t do anything too new for the series that it is a part of.

The game is a vertical shmup, where you take control of a Fighting Viper once again, go through eight different levels across several different generic levels in space and possibly Earth, shoot down whatever enemy, building, or what have you that is in your way with whatever weapon you can find to ensure your victory, gather plenty of different power ups and bombs to get much stronger and more prepared for whatever lies ahead, while upgrading said power ups so that they can reach their full destructive potential, and take on quite a few bosses that will test your skill in a way where you will need to step up your game in order to take them down, but you won’t feel like you need to be a god in order to take them down. It is essentially a much more refined and polished evolution of the Raiden series, not doing anything too drastic to the formula, but instead just ironing everything out to be a lot smoother, faster, and more fun, which is a pretty good thing in my opinion, as fans of the series should be able to jump in and have a great time as a result.

One thing that stood out about this game compared to the others (or at least, the one thing that did feel like a significant difference) was in terms of the game’s difficulty, which, when compared to the previous two games, is MUCH more fair this time around. You know how these games usually go, they will usually show no mercy, throwing everything at you with the kitchen sink in the hopes of taking you down, and while you can definitely avoid a lot of this in plenty of instances, there have been many times where I just simply had to accept my fate and suffer as a result. Thankfully though, in this game, they hold back on the amount of shit they throw at you at once, while also still giving you plenty of fantastic powerups to use to combat forces, such as a barrage of missiles, bombs that can be shot right alongside your main shot, and of course, my one true love, the blue laser of death. It feels like the perfect balance of challenge for a game like this, giving you plenty to work with to take on what lies ahead, while also still keeping you on your toes in plenty of cases.

With all that being said though, if you can’t appreciate some of the finer changes and details like that, then what you have here is yet another typical vertical shooter that, while looking and sounding nicer, doesn’t do anything to evolve this series further then the point that it had already reached previously. Sure, the game did get a second version that did change up some of the elements in this game, but it is nothing to get too worked up over, and if you are burnt out on shmups at this point, neither version of this game will change your mind otherwise. Not to mention, compared to Raiden II, the power ups in this game kinda feel like a downgrade, where you can’t get extremely powerful versions of the different power ups that you get anymore, and you only have one type of bomb rather than two different types. Granted, the power ups that you get in the game are still great to use, but they don’t have as much variety as that last game did have, which is somewhat disappointing.

Overall though, despite a severe lack of change and lack of variety in the power ups, Viper Phase 1 still manages to be a really good shmup at the end of the day, and another solid entry in the Raiden series, providing plenty of the same explosive and fun-filled gameplay you have come to expect, being paired right alongside great visuals and music, and having a level of difficulty that doesn’t feel like it is actively trying to fuck you at every turn, while also still not giving you much of an easy time either. I would definitely recommend it for those who are fans of the previous Raiden games, as well as those who are fans of shmups in general, because those players will find themselves here a game that won’t blow them away, but will still be fun enough to where they won’t regret having played it, while being short enough to where you could blaze through it in a half-hour or so. Let’s just hope though that the next game in the series steps up their A-game with what they bring to the table, but really, all they need to do to satisfy my needs is just to bring back the Ghostbusters laser from the last game. What can I say, bustin’ makes me feel good, y’know?

Game #581

The last time I had played Battle for Bikini Bottom (the original at least) was in 2019. According to my PS2 memory card, I had played this in 2010 prior to 2019. Back then, I never did 100% the game but I did beat it. 2019 though was the first time I 100%ed the game and I remember being so happy I finally did so since this was a game I liked a lot as a kid. I remember thinking it was great back then, but I wanted to see how I'd feel nowadays. While I don't think it's quite as good nowadays, it's still a really fun time overall.

I'd say the thing this game does best is replicating season 1-3 of SpongeBob. It doesn't always hit but when it does, this game is super funny and is basically just like those early seasons. There's a ton of callbacks to the show and references you'd only get if you've seen specific episodes. For a kid growing up on SpongeBob, this is basically like playing through a couple episodes of the show. Every voice actor from the show is here too, besides Mr. Krabs and Mermaid Man, and they don't half ass it. They bring their A game in every scene. However, going back to those two outliers, it's unfortunate they couldn't appear here. Mr. Krabs isn't too terrible, and the voice actor at least sounds like he's trying to replicate the character. Mermaid Man though is totally off and sounds pretty bad, I think. Even with those two being different tho, it's still super authentic to the show and a lot of fun seeing each scene be reminiscent of the show. The game also really replicates the world of SpongeBob well. The overworld of Bikini Bottom is done super well. You have all the main characters homes represented here. You have the Krusty Krab, the Chum Bucket. All the staple locations. The areas themselves also represent the show well. Rock Bottom, the Mermalair, Kelp Forest..even SpongeBob's Dream from that one season 1 episode appears. The characters, their dialogue and the world itself just perfectly represents the early seasons.

Getting into the gameplay itself, it's a collectathon and is basically mimicking a game like Mario 64 or Banjo Kazooie. While I don't think it's as good as either of those, for reasons I'll explain shortly, that type of game still works well in the SpongeBob universe. Instead of Stars or Jiggies, your main collectable in this game are golden spatulas. Thematically super fitting to the show, though I gotta say I never found them as satisfying to get as the aforementioned stars or jiggies. There's no jingle that plays, only a crowd cheering for the player (and SpongeBob's laugh if you're playing as him). It's just sort of a bummer since it never gave me a rush whenever I collected them like Mario 64 or Banjo did. Anyways, you collect these golden spatulas in each level alongside collecting any other assortment of collectables along the way. You have shiny objects which you get from tikis or the robots. These are used to spend on shiny object gates or to get golden spatulas from Mr. Krabs. Socks are a collectable that you can trade in to also get golden spatulas from Patrick. These are mostly easy to get but can be annoying in their placement depending on the stage. Some, mostly the first couple stage ones, require backtracking with abilities you get later on. This like barely happens at all though so if you're a Banjo Tooie hater, you might like this game. In fact, this game is maybe too linear for my liking. It's obviously no Tooie, but it's not even a Mario 64 or Kazooie in terms of its exploration. Very rarely will you travel off the beaten path to do a little side challenge but that's about it. I prefer the more open games I mentioned before for that reason, as it feels like you're being guided along a straight path most of the time. Still, what's here is mostly fun. The levels in general, besides being faithful to the show, are either pretty fun or harmless. The only two I didn't care for much were Mermalair and Kelp Forest. Both had songs that kinda got on my nerves and Kelp Forest is too dark a lot of the time and also has the worst slide in the game. My two favorite levels though, were Flying Dutchman's Graveyard and SpongeBob's Dream. I found neither annoying and they were both endgame levels so they were pretty fleshed out.

You can also play as both Patrick and Sandy, if you find a bus station in each level. They each have different abilities but basically, Patrick is strong and can throw heavy things while Sandy has a lasso she can glide with and can also swing from these lasso Texas things. Both characters change the gameplay up enough for it feel different and fun. Their move sets are simpler than SpongeBob's. His move set consists of a double jump, a bubble wand attack, a bubble butt stomp, a bubble helmet that shoots upwards, the bubble bowl which is a bowling ball you can throw to hit things and the cruise bubble which is this missile attack you can use to hit enemies or buttons from a far. Those last two abilities are ones you unlock as progress and I generally like the move set SpongeBob has. Only thing I wish he had was a movement ability. There's no long jump or talon trot here so he doesn't feel quite as fun to play as because of the lack of something like that.

Between each set of three levels, and also in some of the levels themselves, are the game's bosses. The bosses in the actual levels aren't that great imo but are fun references to the show at least. The main game's bosses you must defeat to proceed tho are actually pretty fun. They're more fleshed out and have cutscenes between phases. You also switch between characters between phases too, which again, changes up the gameplay somewhat. The final boss was definitely the best, it's a fun nod to SpongeBob's love for Karate and also to the anchor arm episode. But I also gotta give props to robot Patrick's fight. The atmosphere of the industrial park combined with the eerie music, always freaked me out a bit as a kid. Still does even now lol.

Speaking of the music, while I don't think it's that amazing overall, there are still some tracks I quite like. Jellyfish Fields is an upbeat classic, Industrial Park again is quite eerie but really good and the best track in the game is probably Flying Dutchman's Graveyard. That one just perfectly fits the level and also rocks on top of it. Like I said, there are some tracks I straight up don't like whether it's cuz the level annoyed me as a kid or I just don't like them in general, however the OST is still solid overall.

I will say, I never noticed how unpolished this game could be at times. Whether it's me clipping through a tiki that doesn't have hit detection, or the slide portions being really janky depending on how I jump, it's not as polished as thought it was back then. Still, this is super helpful to the speedrun community as the game has some well-known glitches and exploits that are actually super cool to see someone perform. I remember getting into these speedrun videos shortly before Rehydrated came out and being amazed I'm just now finding out about all them. Speaking of rehydrated, I'll just say one thing. Play this version, don't play Rehydrated for the love of god. It's so bad, the fucking warp boxes don't even animate.

One more thing I wanna mention before I end the review off, is the golden spatula warp feature. If you go into the menu, to the golden spatulas you've collected or have to collect still, you can take the taxi from the menu and warp to that location. Holy shit, this may be the best feature in this game. It's super convenient and frankly should be in more 3D Platformers lol.

This is a game I played as a kid and while I think it's not quite as good as once thought, and is not as good as Mario 64 (and definitely not as good as Banjo), it's still a fun time. It's not too long either so it's a game you can easily replay. Maybe I'd think lower of this game if I wasn't a SpongeBob fan or grew up with this, as it's just kind of an average 3D platformer, but it's still one of the best licensed games I've played because it represents the world of SpongeBob so well. Glad it holds up even to this day.

You know what I really like? Giant mech suit robots. There have been quite a fuck ton of these things that have been made and shown off in various games, movies, TV shows and what have you over time, and while some of them can be pretty lame and…….. stupid, most of them either end up being fun or straight up fucking awesome! Not only that, but they can be the solution to any problem that you are having. You need something to make your product more exciting and likable? Giant robot. You need to get rid of some bozo that’s constantly bothering you all the time? GIANT ROBOT. You need to spice up your relationship so that you and your partner don’t end up leaving each other? GIANT. ROBOT. And hey, these things even work in the case of today’s game, because one day at Capcom HQ, while trying to develop new games, I guess they were thinking to themselves “Hmm…. how can we make a beat-’em-up that spices things up and doesn’t just feel like a retread of our previous games?” and the answer to that question was simple: giant robots. They then took this idea and ran with it, creating the forgotten, yet oh so sweet, Armored Warriors.

I had never played this game before, but it was always one of the games from the Capcom Arcade Stadium that managed to catch my eye whenever I would scroll through what was available to choose from. Not only did the game have that look of quality Capcom games usually have, but it was also a beat-’em-up WITH MECHS. How could they possibly fuck up that kind of concept? Of course though, me being me, I waited long enough to play it, so I decided now was a good time to finally give it a shot, and yeah, it is definitely as great as I thought it was gonna be. It can definitely feel pretty same-y at times, especially if you have played Capcom’s other beat-’em-ups, but this game still manages to kick all the ass for most of its run, not only because of its gimmick, but also by just being really fun in general.

The story is somewhat generic for this type of game and genre, where after a long-fought war has come to an end through the use of a ceasefire treaty, news starts to spread that Melkide, the capital of Raian, has been overtaken by a mysterious and malevolent army, so it is up to a group of soldier to pilot their own respective mechs, go take back the city of Melkide, and figure out what is truly going on, which is the kind of plot that I would typically complain about, but I am too distracted by the giant mech action happening to get that upset. The graphics are wonderful, fully carrying that shine of quality that Capcom usually gives to their arcade titles, while also having plenty of fantastic designs, animations, and details given to all of the different robots, characters, environments, and so on, the music is… somewhat of a let-down, definitely not giving off the exact vibe and feel that a game like this should have, but the tracks themselves are still fine and enjoyable enough to listen to, and the gameplay/control is very typical for that of a beat-’em-up, only you, once again, are in control of giant mechs, which makes it all worthwhile.

The game is mostly a typical arcade beat-’em-up, where you take control of one of four different mechs, go through seven different missions that will take you across several locations across multiple planets and the depths of space, take out the many different enemy mechs and soldiers in your way using your mech’s various skills and different powers, gather plenty of different items to get points and heal your mech, along with plenty of different weapons to get an edge over your foes, and take on plenty of larger than life bosses that will test you in how you use your weaponry in many different circumstances. This is the same song and dance we have partaken in with many other games in the past, but again, not to sound like a broken record, but the fact that all of this is done with giant mechs and the benefits that come with them makes this all the more engaging and fun to play through.

One of the best things to come from this game that no other game in this genre has been able to accomplish so far would be with the use of the weapons that you get. As you defeat plenty of enemies, they will drop many different parts, and at points, you can even pick up those parts and attach them directly onto yourself to change up your attack, from a standard punch to a drill to even a laser sword of all things! This also applies to your secondary weapon, which you can swap out for different types of guns like a grenade gun, a laser, and a flamethrower. All of this is already pretty sweet, but then you get to the different types of legs you can swap between as well, which not only gives you a greater feel for mobility depending on what you get, but it also allows you to perform plenty of different special moves that can both change the tide of battle and be amazing to watch play out. If none of this convinces you though, then you may change your mind when I tell you that, if you are to play this game with one or two other people, you can pull a Power Rangers and combine your mechs together to create one GIANT mech that can cause much more destruction and mayhem, with all players needing to control one specific aspect of the mech in order for it to function. This is as cool as it sounds, and I love how it actually requires you and your friends to work together as a team, rather then just simply having one of those “Beat up all the guys so that we can move on already” kind of playthroughs.

With all that being said though, if giant mech suits aren’t exactly your bread and butter (and by that, I mean you are some kind of weirdo), then you probably won’t get too much out of this game that you haven’t seen from other beat-’em-ups in the past, especially from Capcom. If you look past all the cool mech shit, it works pretty much exactly like another typical game from the genre, one that is fun to play, but some could find generic nonetheless. Not to mention, there are several instances where arcade syndrome can peer its ugly head around the corner, making some fights and bosses much more stressful than they need to, but thankfully it is nowhere near as bad as other games out there, and it still manages to be very fun at the end of the day regardless of any complaints I could have about it.

Overall, despite being another typical beat-’em-up under the surface and having some slight difficulty issues here and there, this was a blast to play after wanting to try it out for so long, and it is definitely one of the best beat-’em-ups that I have ever played from Capcom, having plenty of different mech forms and weapons to try out, having explosive and fun gameplay all throughout, and managing to make a gimmick like this work almost flawlessly that’ll make any fan of giant robots wanna try it out for themselves. I would definitely recommend it for those people, as well as those who are big on arcade beat-’em-ups in general, because if the typical means of progression throughout the game won’t do it for you, the combat, visuals, and customization of your mechs certainly will. And hey, it even managed to get a spin-off of sorts just one year later, so it clearly worked out for the best. I wonder what that game is li- AAAAAAAAND it’s another fighting game. Holy shit, Capcom, buddy, I get it, you made a lot of great fighting games, but not everything you make needs to become a fighting game at some point! What’s next, are you gonna make an Ace Attorney fighting game?............ you know, one that doesn’t involve Marvel?

Game #574

We have covered many different fighters from SNK on this website so far, from the good to the bad, the iconic to the obscure, the stupid to the…. equally as stupid. You get the picture, we have covered a lot so far, but we have yet to cover… THE SNK fighter, the one that most people gravitate towards when they think of the company, the one that has managed to outlast every single other one and become the flagship franchise for the company. This wasn’t just any simple fighting game though, because we have already had too many of those to count from the company, but instead, it was gonna be a crossover event, one that takes two of the big fighting juggernauts from the company, along with several others, and bring them together for the first time to duke it out, not only to defeat a common enemy, but also to stand as the best of the best. This was the story… of The King of Fighters ‘94……………. or at least, that is what happened when it did get turned into a fighting game rather than a beat-’em-up.

Out of all of the fighting franchises from this company, this is the one that I had heard the most about before checking out for myself, not only because of how huge it had gotten ever since its inception, but because of its entire concept in general. At this point in time, there had never been a fighting game that’s primary focus was to be a full-on crossover game, taking two different universe and clashing them together, so seeing a game not only take Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting and having them duke it out, along with characters from Ikari Warriors and Athena because why the hell not, must’ve been really exciting for anyone who was fans of any of these games. And hey, it clearly paid off at the end of the day, because the game would go onto get yearly installments for quite some time, as well as plenty of spin-offs, side games, and other forms of media released right alongside it to this day. So, now that I am pretty familiar with every single franchise that is represented in this game, I figured it was about time I gave the series a shot with the first game, and to the surprise of nobody, I ended up really enjoying it. It most likely does not come even close to the quality of future titles, and it isn’t toooooooo different from their previous title, but it does manage to not only be a great introduction for the series as a whole, but also a really good fighting game all on its own that i am really happy to have checked out.

The story doesn’t try to be anything more than what you have come to expect, where a new face in town known as Rugal decides to host a brand new King of Fighters tournament after seeing Geese and Krauser do so in the events of Fatal Fury 1 and 2 (as well as Art of Fighting 2, but who cares), sending invitations all over the world which not only reaches the main characters from those games, but also plenty of other newcomers from around the world, so they all come together to form teams of three to take on the tournament, become the definitive King of the Fighters, and figure out what sinister intentions Rugal might be hiding. It’s an SNK fighting game, so it would feel weird for this to not be the plot, and I don’t wanna risk tearing a hole into the fabric of the universe, so I will just accept the generic plot and move along from there.

The graphics are wonderful, having some fantastic sprite work, animations, and designs for all of the characters, stages, and effects, although there are some parts like the drawings for the characters during the ending cutscenes that definitely do look rough around the edges, and is just… ugh, the music is great, having plenty of kick-ass tunes to go along with you kicking your opponent’s teeth in, but of course, you will barely be able to hear it over the sounds of the many sound effects that will be playing as you fight your opponent, and the gameplay/control is mostly what you would expect from a fighting game, but with several changes and gimmicks that would not only become a staple part of the franchise, but would make fights much more interesting as a whole.

The game is a somewhat-typical 2D fighter, where you take control of one of eight different teams, each consisting of three different fighters from other SNK games, or completely new faces that would become regulars in the series, take on plenty of other teams in locations fought all around the world, throw out plenty of different punches, kicks, and special moves to eliminate all members of the team while relying on your team’s special skills, block and dodge accordingly to sustain minimal damage to any member of your team at any time, and bask in the sweet glow of victory for those few moments…. only to then get pummeled by the next opponent who will come by. Most fighting game veterans would be able to comfortably settle into this game and have a great time with it, even with the apparent changes made to the formula, which one can easily adjust to if they know what they are doing, and still have a great time with it.

If you SOMEHOW haven’t caught onto this already, the one big change made in this game compared to every single fighting game before this is how you take control of a team of characters rather then just one solo character, and while this doesn’t affect the gameplay too heavily, it does make just enough of a change to where it does make you think about how to approach matches. Rather than the typical “three rounds and ya win/lose” formula that most fighting games have, each fighter can only be used once per match as long as they aren’t knocked out, and whenever a fighter is knocked out, they are then switched out for the next fighter on the team in the order that you selected. The only other time I have ever had experience with this style of fighting is with Marvel vs. Capcom, so I was fully aware of what this system was gonna be like going into it, and from what we have here, it works out pretty well.

It does make you think more about how you go about winning a fight, based on what character you are playing as, what moves they can pull off, their speed, their attacks, all of that shit, and seeing how you can be using a completely new character on the fly if you fuck up, it adds another level of strategy and complexity that was simple to grasp and incredibly satisfying to master. Not to mention, given how you don’t get a full health bar back whenever you beat an opponent, the game encourages you, more than ever, to play smart, and not just constantly spam the same move over and over again, or just button mash, in the vein hope of winning (even though, with some of these games, I have no choice but to do that).

Other then that though, not too much has changed if you compare this to other SNK fighters, as it is mostly your standard romp. The only real other differences I can see is that there are no bonus stages to take on, and the way that you use special moves is a bit different, but otherwise, you know what you are getting into with this, and as someone who has now played more of these then I can count, I can safely say that this was one really fun. Of course, the combat was rough around the edges, but the flow of fights still felt pretty satisfying, the energy that was there made a lot of the game feel exciting and fun, the little extra story bits here and there were very interesting, and with the fact that you essentially have 24 different characters to mess around with, there is plenty of things to do that will leave you busy, especially if you are going for all the endings.

However, as is traditional with fighting games, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room, and that elephant’s name is Fighting Game Syndrome, where the game’s CPU will not hesitate to pummel your ass to the ground before you even have a chance to comprehend what was going on in the first place. Although, with that being said, I didn’t actually find the difficulty of the game to be that bad when playing through it……. THAT IS, until I reached the final battle with Rugal, who takes on your entire team by himself, and that right there is a dirty, rotten trick. It lures you into a false sense of security, with you thinking “PFFT, three against one? This will be a total cakewalk!”, but then you actually fight him, and you will learn to never trust one of these games again. His first phase is pretty standard, nothing too bad that you can just easily get through if you know what you are doing, but then he throws off his coat, and that is when SHIT GETS REAL. He will be throwing out all these crazy attacks, comboing you before you can do anything to stop it, push you across the screen and slam you into the walls, and it is an absolute nightmare of a fight at this point. Of course, he is beatable, but you need to be pretty skilled at these games in order to take him down, and while I wouldn’t say this boss is as hard as, say, Geese Howard in Fatal Fury 1, he will still have you begging for mercy if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Overall, despite fighting game syndrome being in effect and Rugal needing to go fuck himself in every way possible, this was a great way to start off an ambitious franchise like this, and an overall really good game, having plenty of what SNK fighters had that make them so fun to try out and beat, a gameplay gimmick that shakes things up to where it is much more interesting without sacrificing what makes these games work, and having plenty of fan service from plenty of points in SNK’s history with the characters that you can’t help but appreciate if you have been playing all of these games like I have. I would definitely recommend it for those who are big fighting game fans, as well as those who love the other fighters from the company like Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting, because this game manages to blow both of those out of the water in every single way, and I can’t wait to see what the next installments have in store. But if there is one thing I will ask for, it would be to PLEASE tone down the final boss of the next game so that they won’t be as much of a pain to fight?....... who am I kidding, it’s SNK, they’re not gonna do that. And given what played at the end of the game there, looks like I am gonna have double the fun with it in the next game, so YAY FOR ME!....................... help

Game #572

(Part 2 of the Half Century Challenge, created by C_F. You can find their second review here)

Space… it’s huge… so huge in fact, that if you lost your car keys in it, they’d be almost impossible to find… and not only that, but also huge enough to host a limitless amount of potential, not just for us as a species to explore and discover, but also to take advantage of for video game concepts. I mean, why wouldn’t we? Space is pretty fucking cool, despite how terrifying it is when you think about it for too long, and there have been plenty of games made that take advantage of what could happen in space, such as countless battles against extra-terrestrial menaces, exploring the many worlds that could be out there and the inhabitants that live on them, and also some other… weird shit that I would rather not bring up. Hell, even in some of the earliest days of video gaming, space was used as the primary gimmick when it came to their concepts, such as the case with 1962’s Spacewar….. which is too old for the sake of this challenge, so instead, we’re gonna talk about Galaxy Game, which is essentially the same thing.

Going back to playing these games that were released over half a century ago is pretty jarring for anybody who has been playing video games for the past ten years or so, not only because of how primitive it is compared to literally everything else released ever since, but also because of the fact that, really, there is no game here at all. Of course, I can’t heavily criticize a game like this that much, but if you are to ever go about trying to play this, or Spacewar, yourself, then you will find it to be a nothing experience, one that you would get tired of extremely quickly, and would cause you to want to go back to playing… I dunno, whatever the cool kids play nowadays, like Fortnite or one of those shitty live service games. The only way one could fairly judge this “game” would be not as a video game, but as a piece of history, one that somewhat paved the way for many more games like it to come in the future, so with that perspective in mind, I can certainly say that Galaxy Game is, indeed, a game that was made at one point in history.

Even jumping into the game first thing makes you feel like you have stepped back into the stone age, with you greeted by a black title screen with only a few words placed on it that are made of dots. You are given the option to play just one game for a measly ten cents, or even three games for a whopping twenty-five cents, and when you shove your money straight through your computer screen with great force, you are then greeted by the game’s… “options”. You are seemingly given the option for things such as slow speed, two player matches, the inclusion of the sun and gravity, along with positive gravity. However, based on my experience (and by that, I mean trying to get any of these options to work), I found that all of them are pretty much the exact same thing, so all of these options are lies, and you should ignore them at all costs.

You are then thrusted into action after the most intense countdown I have ever seen in my entire life, and what you are greeted with is a field of stars, occupied by two jagged penises, one black and one white, which I can only assume are meant to be rocket ships of some kind, and right in the middle, you have a seizure-inducing square that I can only assume is meant to be the sun. From here, the game is afoot, as you take control of one of the penises and figure out how to control it, rotating around and having a fire button, and from there on, your objective is clear: you must go and destroy the other penis who is doing nothing whatsoever, just so that you can prove you are the most skilled fighter in the entire galaxy!

So you then start to propel yourself forward towards the other penis, only to find that you have the SLOWEST MOVING ROCKET IN VIDEOGAME HISTORY. Seriously, these things move slower than the sloths from Zootopia, with it taking ages for you to get anywhere, and if you at some point in the game ever need to TURN of all things to propel yourself in another direction, then oh-ho-ho-ho-ho BOY, may god have mercy on your soul. Most of the time you will probably just be flying across the screen at numerous points, just trying to position your penis properly (I apologize to everyone reading this) so that you can properly aim and fire at your opponent, while they just sit there, wondering if they left the oven on before coming out to space for this battle.

This was pretty much the experience I had with this game throughout my whole time playing it, not only trying to get the rocket to move how I wanted it to so I could land a shot, but also fighting the controls, as there would be multiple points where they would just stop working, with me being only able to fire while not turning or propelling myself forward, causing me to have to restart the game several times. But then, finally, after a good five minutes or so of this struggle…. IT HAPPENED. I managed to position the penis properly to where I was going towards the target, I fired a shot, it hit the target, and then it exploded into a glorious explosion of pixels, with this playing in my head as a result, allowing me to feel an immense rush of satisfaction, as I had finally defeated my non-lethal opponent!............. only to then be booted back to the menu screen shortly afterwards, reminding me that I was still playing Galaxy Fucking Game, and that I am a sad, sad man.

So yeah, in a lot of ways, this game is forever stuck in its time period, unable to be enjoyed properly by anyone nowadays due to the simple factor that it is outdated in every single way possible, giving you no reason to want to go back and try it out. However, like with Highnoon, it is very interesting to look back on, not just in terms of how video games like this were made at such a primitive age, but even to see some of its small, yet charming little quirks, such as how somebody paid 10 cents at one point to play a round of this, or even all of these options available to mess around with. It’s not something I could recommend anyone checking out unless they want to see a piece of video game history at work, because let me tell you, it is certainly nice to look at, but not much else. And with that, I will see you all next time for another game from the far past to talk about, with less talking about penises in that review………. I think…….

Game #573

Throughout my many years of playing games from Sega’s lineup of consoles, the one console that I have little to zero experience with whatsoever would be the Sega Saturn. I have played some games from the system, such as Nights Into Dreams and maaaaaaaaaaaaybe Sonic R, even though I’m not sure if that’s a real game, but aside from those two, I have had zero experience with any Sega Saturn exclusive games whatsoever. It is a shame too, considering that from what I have seen, it looks like there are a lot of quality games for the system, ones that probably don’t reach the same quality as many other games of the era, but enough to where anyone who owned the system could definitely get their money’s worth from a nice selection of titles to choose from. So, I figured it is about time that I dip my toes further into the pool that is the Sega Saturn library, starting with a game that was a launch title for the system for us Americans, Clockwork Knight.

I have never played this game or it’s sequel before, but I have known about them for quite a while, seeing them being played on some YouTube channels that I have been subscribed to over the years. It looked charming enough with its toy-themed setting, and it did look short enough to where I could get through it in one afternoon, so I figured “Why the hell not?”, and I did blaze through it in that same afternoon, finding a charming and fun game that… doesn’t really do that much. It is a solid platformer all throughout for the most part, and it does the job that it is supposed to do, but there are definitely plenty of other titles that were out around this time that could do what this game did a whole lot better.

The story is fairly standard for a game like this, where in a seemingly average household at midnight, all of the toys in the house are brought to life by the voice of lovely Clockwork Fairy Princess Chelsea, and everybody goes about their merry way as a result, but suddenly, she is kidnapped by an unknown and mysterious force, so it is up to Sir Tongara de Pepperoucha III, or just Pepper, to set out on a journey to rescue her and stop her vile kidnapper, which is all presented in a charming, yet understandably terrifying, intro cutscene, which does give the story much more charm despite how generic it is. The graphics are pretty good, using pre-rendered sprites for the characters and enemies like Donkey Kong Country, and mixing them together with 3D polygonal environments, all of which blend together pretty well, despite it obviously looking dated, the music is pretty good, having plenty of enjoyable tunes to listen to throughout your journey, and the gameplay/control is pretty standard for a 2D platformer, but it all works out pretty well, and you can get a handle on things with no problem whatsoever.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Pepper, go through four different worlds, each with two levels and a boss, all themed around different toys and other objects and places you would find in an average house, go through many different platforming challenges while taking out plenty of enemies using your trusty keyblade weapon (wait a minute…), gather plenty of different coins, health upgrades and pickups, and extra lives to give you an advantage for what comes up ahead later down the road, and take on several boss fights that range from being piss easy to mildly annoying, all for the purpose of saving the one girl who is responsible for your entire existence. It’s the same song and dance you have seen time and time again, with very little to make it stand out amongst other titles, but again, it does manage to still be fun for the time it lasts, and its simplicity does help make it more appealing for those like myself who were looking for something to play from the console as an introduction.

Given that this was a launch title for the Sega Saturn (for us Americans, anyway), it is important for the game to not only be fun, but to also show off some of the things that the system was capable of, and while it doesn’t push the system to its limits, it does a good job at showing some of the things it can do. There are plenty of different cutscenes throughout the game, showing the characters animated with a CG style, and while nowadays these cutscenes look terrifying just from the toy designs alone, I imagine this must’ve looked really impressive back in the day. Not only that, but once again, the pre-rendered sprites for the characters and enemies mesh together really well with the 3D environments, and the main gameplay style is familiar enough for those who owned plenty of other well-known titles for the Sega Genesis, being able to bring them into this new generation smoothly without anything too crazy or intimidating getting in the way.

With all that being said though, from the lens of a modern-day player like myself, there isn’t much else the game has going for it other then that. It is a very basic platformer, where ya run, ya jump, ya grab the shiny objects, ya save the girl, ya drill these guys in the ass with your keyblade, we all know how it goes. It manages to do everything right, and it feels good to play, but at the same time, it doesn’t go out of its way to really shake things up or do anything crazy, which leads it to being somewhat generic as a result. Not to mention, the game is REALLY short, only having eight main levels and five bosses, all of which can be beaten fairly quickly if you know what you are doing, which is definitely a letdown. If only there was maybe one or two more worlds with more fleshed out mechanics, as well as possibly adding one or two more levels to the already existing worlds, then maybe this would feel like a complete package, but as it stands, it does feel like it ends too quickly once you beat the final boss, leaving you wanting a little more.

Overall, despite how basic and short the game is, Clockwork Knight manages to not only do a good job at being a launch title for the Sega Saturn, but also for being just an all around enjoyable platformer, full of plenty of platforming challenges for those that are fans of the genre, an impressive visual style and graphics for the time, and having a sense of charm to it that does make it much more appealing as a result. I would definitely recommend it for those who are looking for something to play on the system, or for those who are just fans of 90s platformers in general, because while this isn’t the meatiest one of the bunch, it should provide a good amount of fun and leaves you satisfied by the end of it all. Although, speaking of which, it does kinda suck that it ends on a cliffhanger of all things, which really paints a picture of what they are trying to do. “Aw, you wanna know what happens to Chelsea? Well, you can certainly find out, for a small $60 fee, thank you very much…”

Game #570