nvm about my previous review then.

mhy can go hand-in-hand with riot games as the king and queen of ripoffs. this game's kinda putrid; an amalmagation of every single modern jrpg mechanics, cobbled together but is detached in any way or form. none of the system hold one another, despite's mihoyo's love for handholding their crowd.

i understand that mhy's trying to make a love-letter here because they like labelling themselves as a bunch of nerds and otakus. but it's a love-letter written by chatgpt or some shit.

yes i do kinda hate it. but the real question still exists, is it worse than valorant? the answer is a definitive no. zenless zone zero at least carries some exaggerated swagger of a black teen through its music, and stylish, yet unintelligible, focus on aesthetics. every hit feels weighty and impactful. it feels good to swap and slide-down the arenas with billy kid like a maniac. it's a bare-minimum game that's enough to become a guilty pleasure.

and you know what? it's something that riot games can't do with their hollow husk of a game.

it has:
dmc's combat but none of its nuance
persona's ui but all visual clutter
genshin impact's painfully fucking boring gacha rates
billy kid

it doesn't have:
riot vanguard

congratulations mihoyo, your game has passed the minimal-bar litmus test! you're better than valorant.

i do think i need a little bit of a CT scan every time i hear the argument, "but it's more fun with friends!" when i do a little jab on valorant being a shitty game in front of my friends.

well, looky here frankie, playing human fall flat is fun with friends, no question. playing build-a-home using sticks and stones? fun with friends. eating dirt under the blue moonlight? absolutely fantastic with friends. chopping people's fingers off everytime they say the love valorant? cathartic, is best suited with friends.

if you don't get my point, you slime-headed, barely functioniong slab of meat, EVERYTHING IS FUN WITH FRIENDS. that doesn't excuse your shitty pile of software entitled Valorant of being a good game, because you can play it with your friends.

i'm not saying that your opinion is wrong, i'm just saying it's shit.

they slam their head, front to back on their controllers and keyboards, screaming shit like "damn, you guys enjoy romancing saga? it has terrible balance so how the fuck do you even enjoy this for 30 hrs, you guys are delusional psychopaths" and open their malware client, hop on an endless pursuit of pointless antics. praying to god that their enemy is way fucking dumber at 'em and their teammates hopefully as demented as them. then they buy a 50$ ugly-ass bouquet of skins to make them feel a little better after their bitter victory.

who's the wacko now?

fair game my ass, i will summon every fucking spirit ash, use every incantation, every buff, every consumable, every ash of war to break the game. i will exploit the game, just like how the game industry exploit their employees and customers alike. and no bitch is allowed to whisper in my ear shit like "it's unfair" or "you didn't really beat it till you do it with no summons". the motherfucking boss will receive frost, bleed and scarlet rot and you're not gonna stop me, because there's no fucking riot vanguard or riot games moderator present to stop me from playing like how i wanted it to be.