Replaying this after so long was such a wild experience, it's so funny to me how I can change and grow so much over the years and then play things like this in almost the exact same way I did forever ago. I made some changes to my morality/corruption and the like, but spending over half my playtime seducing random townsfolk for store discounts and growing a property-empire took me back to all the times I played this on my Xbox 360. Unfortunately the combat was pretty lacking, it's not awful but it's a lot clunkier and more awkward than I remember, but for what it is that didn't sour the experience much at all.

There's such a charm to the dumb shit, it's really something. Knocking on the door of a house I can't afford until a pissed-off man and wife answer in the dead of night, dancing to them on their doorstep and watching their 'love' meters increase until the man clocks on to what's happening and gets a big wave of 'hate' for me, sternly reminding me that "that's [his] wife!" and I need to leave. Proposing to her right in front of him and getting married only to be reminded that this doesn't transfer ownership of the house to me, but to their young child 🥹

The highlight of this playthrough has to have been having sex for the first time and unlocking the 'apologise' expression as soon as I finished :)

Man I hope the new Fable game keeps all the stupid life-sim stuff while massively improving the combat, I could easily see myself loving it to be bits if they get it right.

I had been meaning to review this when I platinumed it but once I did I just sort of went to bed and never got around to it. I think the fact that my gf still hasn't played beyond the prologue has me hesitant to say much about it, but I also feel icky having not said anything at all about what is almost certainly going to be my GOTY.

Yep, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, I loved it. I remember way back when the first trailers for this dropped and I really wasn't sure how I felt about it; the English VAs and the very Game of Thrones-esque setup and focus on politics, I was cautiously optimistic at best and maybe even slightly disappointed that it wasn't more familiar at worst. More fool me honestly, the "this isn't Final Fantasy" argument is so old by now it's as much a staple of the franchise as the deities. I don't care if this doesn't look, sound or play like 4, 7 or 10, it absolutely bangs.

I agree with a lot of the criticism I've seen around the combat, more specifically that the basic attack button is limited to essentially a single 4-hit combo, but what I don't agree with is that this makes the combat boring or plain. I've preached to everyone that will listen by now to play this game with controller mapped to scheme C so that magic is on L1 and I stand by this making the combat 10x more fun and fluid. Being able to chain together attacks, follow-ups, combos and specials in a variety of ways is so satisfying, and the "one combo" point is completely lost behind the ways you can use the skills together to slap around your enemies and look great doing it.

Furthermore, the story feels pretty damn "Final Fantasy" to me, the core plot is even built around giant crystals smh. I won't go into spoilers, but following a single character through multiple stages of their life ends up working really nicely I think. The timeskips aren't just noticeable but they're meaningful, you can physically see the changes to people and places based on the events of the previous arc. They could've done more with it I'm sure, but I think it's neat.

To that point, this means our boy Clive carries this game on his shoulders start to finish, and I'm not the first to say that Ben Starr totally nailed this performance. The cast across the board were superb - special shoutout to Charon for sounding exactly like every woman in the town I grew up in - but Square have shown once again that casting actors that don't have massive VA backgrounds can pay off really nicely. I love all the regular names as much as anyone else, but seeing Ben come in out of nowhere and leap to the top of my 'best performance' vote list somehow makes me appreciate the game even more than if it had been aced by somebody that I would expect to nail it.

In classic fashion I've said very little about the game itself, but hopefully this little gush was at least somewhat interesting to read. It can now serve as evidence that this franchise truly does have me by the balls. They aint perfect, but these games deliver for me personally on so many levels.

Quick shoutout as well to the lore catalogues in this game, Harpocrates' tomes and Vivian's map are two of the coolest and most dense lore-libraries I've seen in a game, maybe ever. Also the map actually wrinkles under her finger in cutscenes which is hot. And speaking of hot all the characters are super pretty again, especially Jill😌
I'm looking forward to Rebirth being my 2024 GOTY as well, (Sorry Persona 3 Reload 😔)

Thanks for reading all, hope you're enjoying your summers and whatnot! Not sure what my next review will be but I'm surprised to be really enjoying Sword and Fairy 7 right now so there's a good chance it'll be that!

I completed this game a month ago so my review points are a little buried in my memory, but what hasn't been buried is how much I adored playing through it. The visuals in Octopath are gorgeous, and the box art for this being so nice honestly had more impact on my interest in it than I care to admit, but what I didn't expect was for the music to surpass it.

The OST for this game has got to be one of my favourites, ever. Such an amazing number of tracks with a huge range of tones and styles, all of them a joy to listen to. It's hard to overstate how pretty some of the songs are, and I think if my bottom-tier memory remembers only one thing about Octopath Traveler II, I'd like it to be that.

... However, it won't be that, because this game made the eye-watering decision to lock it's platinum trophy behind it post-game megaboss. Now I love JRPGs, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not very good at them. I get by for sure, but any time I look up a strat or hear how someone else is running their party I realise that mine is using maybe 15% of it's full potential. This game does not allow you to buy-back equipment that you sell, so when my dumbass sold a weapon that turned out to be essential in just about every megaboss build I found online.. 🥹

It took me around 100 hours to beat the story, maybe 20 to cleanup everything else for the platinum and (I can't be certain because reloading my save meant the time wasn't tracked) I'm certain I spent no less than 20 hours grinding and throwing myself at this boss for the final trophy. Honestly it was probably closer to 40.
10 days worth of on-off grinding/attempts, sometimes for hours, sometimes just 2-4 tries. At one point I was so discouraged and quite frankly broken that I uninstalled the game to spare myself the pain of failure, only to redownload it a few days later with hopes of beating it out of spite.

I have seen people beat this boss with ease over 30 levels lower than my party were (I grinded from 50-60 range to 80-90 just for this) and despite having almost exactly the same gear (aside from stuff I'd sold) I wasn't doing nearly as much damage as they were 🥹 (I had also spammed all my stat nuts in inopportune ways without realising bc I am ranked #1 worst jrpg player)

Anyway all this to say, I finally did it. I don't know how, the numbers fell in my favour and by some miracle I actually beat it, and that's rad 😭

This "review" is unhinged but I should also say that I love the characters and the combat system was immensely fun to use the whole time, really enjoyed it. Biggest gripe with the game would be the difficulty spike but I expect that's a skill issue. Also the way the travelers meet is kinda goofy but I really don't think that affected my enjoyment at all.

Overall I would definitely recommend this to anyone even remotely interested, it's a fantastic time and a really refreshing structure in how the story was told (for me, I haven't played 1 or Live A Live) -- Just maybe don't worry about the platinum or play on Switch (which I might have to for the first game 🥹)

Thanks for reading! Hope everyone's having a good mid-year, Final Fantasy XVI is around the corner and with this being my 124th platinum I'm hoping that one isn't quite so painful to make as my milestone 125! 😌

P.S. I just remembered there was a line near the end of Temenos' story that went so fucking hard, it was like "[Your Gods] created this world, and in their folly saw fit to taint it with humans" and that's so fkn raw😩

13 years ago, Alan Wake became my favourite game of all time. Something about this game resonated with little 13 year old Jake, and much like my crush on Ramona Flowers, it's nice to know this adoration has survived through my teens and well into my adulthood.
Back then, I couldn't properly explain why I loved this game so much, and honestly I'm not even sure I can now. The closing sentence has stuck with me for half my life at this point, and my dumbass still doesn't even fully comprehend what it means 😌

Replaying this for the first time in over a decade and using the very same collectible guide as I did back on my Xbox 360 was such a great nostalgia trip, I didn't mind the jank and rust that was still ever-present from the original release.
The last time I went for a 100% run was at my old bff's house, where I played through the entire game in one long, uninterrupted sitting. A playthrough that I'm certain was my 2nd that weekend alone, I was obsessed.

This isn't much of a review I realise but my appreciation of this game is on a deeper level than it's surface. The combat may be simple and sorta clunky but I've always really liked the unique approach of using light to basically break shields. The characters are great, a lot of them are a little one-note or weird but considering the consistent Twin Peaks vibe the game gives off, everything feels much more deliberately uncanny than lazy or amateurly written. I am of course speaking with all the bias on earth, but it's my review init 😌
The core premise with the writer and the manuscript pages you find and how everything ties together is really cool too I think. I just think it's neat :)

Hoping and praying that Alan Wake II lives up to the first, I remember liking the AWE DLC for Control so I'm confident that whatever my boy Sam has cooking will be worth the time. Maybe my review of that game will actually be a review, who knows :p

Enjoyed this quite a lot and the combat wasn't nearly as bad as many people made out, but the overuse of a certain bullet sponge enemy late in the game made for a really disappointing final chapter for me.

Hoping any future DLCs or installments build upon what's good (Karen Fukuhara) and fine tune some of the bad (stop spamming the same 3 jumpscares and reusing 1 enemy type that takes way too long to kill)

Thanks for reading, wishing y'all well. I haven't reviewed the last few completions for a few reasons, most painfully Octopath 2 I was hoping to platinum before reviewing but the super-mega-fuck-you secret boss is kicking my ass and I'm struggling to feel any desire to try it. Loved most of the game though.

May throw a few short words out for my main men Toad and Alan, we'll see. Advance Wars I'll review the double pack when I play 2. Hope to see you all there 🙏

Admittedly, for as much as I love this game and will always adore it for having one of the strongest vocal soundtracks ever, this playthrough wasn't my favourite.

I wonder if maybe I was too strong on NG+ or something because it really stood out to me just how much time you spend slow walking to a door while having a comm-versation, often getting to the door early anyway and having to just wait and listen. I'm all for the lore and story, but I'd have preferred to just put the controller down and watch, or at least let me walk further or go through doors while talking!
(This isn't nearly so bad normally, but when the fights take no time at all it's harder to ignore)

Also, for some reason I played on mouse and keyboard which was fine for the most part (aside from super wonky sensitivity during the comms calls) but it wouldn't let me remap to my mouse buttons even tho holding Shift and Ctrl so much hurts my pinky😠

Still a great game, had a great time, I'm mostly just salty that I didn't get to listen to the vocals much during the bosses bc I'd kill them too quickly. #sufferingfromsuccess I s'pose

If you haven't played it, you should. It's fkn awesome 😌

Man this really blows! (Not really)

Really mixed feelings on this game if I'm being honest. It's split into a few different routes that mostly converge to tell a complete story, following Jill and Parker as they arrive on the Queen Zenobia cruise ship, Chris and Jessica as they conduct their own investigation and two guys I refuse to acknowledge as anything but 'the Morons' contributing to the plot in a way that's far more significant than their behaviour would have them deserve.

Jill's sections of the campaign I actually really enjoyed, especially early on. The ship is no Spencer Mansion, but the area designs and overall atmosphere of it where exactly what I want out of a ship-based Resident Evil game. Most of the off-ship areas suffer from being kind of bland for the most part, but given the way the story is told and the order it's told in I'm not too upset by these extra levels.

Chris' route was also pretty interesting I thought, and the overall plot of the game - while nothing absolutely mindblowing - kept me engaged or curious for most of the runtime, and had me casting a suspicious eye on some of the many new characters, which is always fun in any sort of mystery media.
(Worth noting too that while the mass of new characters was offputting at first in the usual 'why should I care' sense, I did find myself liking them at least well enough by the end. It'll be a shame if we don't see these folks again but I'm hoping that Revelations 2 brings them back if nothing else.)

The Morons are easily, far and away, the worst part of the game. Their gameplay sections are honestly not that bad considering they play quite similarly to the surprisingly fun multiplayer Raid mode; seeing you fight off enemies while running through an area normally just to find a key piece of information, that wouldn't make sense to be found by the other 2 teams. But my god are they annoying. I don't know who wrote these guys but the one you play as says about 30 variations of "this blows" despite only being in the game for maybe 2 of the 26 chapters, with a total screentime of maybe 20 minutes. His companion, meanwhile, is a comically over the top geeky dweeb, and I'm really pissed that he actually made me laugh that 1(one) time because the VA for him sold a line so well.

That aside, this game actually really surprised me. For some reason for years now I've expected it to be kinda mid - maybe even bad - but despite my current score of a (high) 3.5 I do think it's a genuinely good entry in the series. My biggest complaint aside from the Morons honestly is just the bosses. Half the boss rooms have a weapons box in the arena which seemed really weird until it became clear that they're huge bullet sponges and it's sometimes necessary to bring out old guns from reserve or swap damage buffs around when you run out of ammo.

I'm not sure if/when I'll do a second playthrough because the trophy list is awful, but if I do or even just by the time I beat all the Raid stages it's possible this may climb to a low 4.

Thanks for reading this quick word vomit of my overall thoughts, hope you're all having a wonderful week 🙏

A neat little puzzle game with a really interesting gimmick in the form of it's various slides -- I was really enjoying my time with this and ready to give it a 4/5 but the later parts of the game have such an overwhelming amount of useless things you can zoom in on and interact with that it really lost me unfortunately.

I went from slowly figuring things out to wasting time trying everything or trying to make a wrong-solution work, only to find that the correct way was not only to ignore the redundant scenes that made up over half of my options, but to use something in an unusual way that hadn't been done yet. The latter would've been perfectly fine on its own, a eureka moment in the making, but personally I had a really hard time picking up on the little tricks like that when around 70% of the things I had at my disposal would later prove to be there only to make the solution harder to find.

Definitely worth checking out if you like these kinds of indie puzzle games, if you can get through the whole thing without checking a guide at all please feel free to bully me for being the big stoop 😌

🥱I played this through in one painful sitting and it honestly felt like I was being fucked with the whole time.

The game is insultingly dull, the enemies are lacking for the series and the areas are both uninspired and needlessly huge or complex. Every mission has at least one part that either makes no sense or exists only to waste your time, often both. The combat felt exactly the same start to finish and every boss could be killed near instantly by activating Devil Trigger and holding square.

Seriously the reputation is deserved, just skip this entry it adds nothing to the franchise but a sour taste.

Well folks, here it is. One of the biggest releases of this year, a remake of one of the most beloved and influential games in the genre’s history, and top 2 most anticipated 2023 games for yours truly. Did it deliver? Did Capcom succeed in producing the GOTY contender I was confident they would? You know damn well what the answer is, but if you’d like to stick around and read the ramblings of a man consumed, settle in. This one’s gunna be a ride. 😌
(if you don’t please just skip to the end and like it tyily)

-- Warning, I went Overboard --

I suppose I should start with a confession. Despite being a huge Resident Evil fan for most of my life, I was actually never massive on the original Resimid Evil 4. I enjoyed playing it way back in the day, and there’s really no denying how important it was for gaming as a whole, but the more I was spoiled by better mechanics over the years, the harder it became to go back and play it again. I know this is still something of a hot take, but tank controls and standstill aiming are such a hurdle in the original that the challenge never felt like it was by design, but due to restrictions of the game’s mechanics. One might argue that the mechanics were factored in as a part of the design to be fair, but idk, it just doesn’t feel right for me, and worse yet it breaks my immersion a lot.

Anyway! The reason I bring that up is because I don’t really remember all that much from the 2005 game, and as such will not be using it as a basis or reference for my opinions. I know the reception to this title has been absurdly positive, but almost every criticism I’ve seen has been “but x was better in the original” and I don’t really see things that way personally. It’s okay to prefer the things that the original did differently, but if you’ve played this game then you surely recognise that it’s not a straight remake, it’s a new version. It’s not there to replace the original like the 2001 Resident Evil remake, it’s a new take on the title, just like the RE2 and RE3 remakes were.

-- Reinventing the Wheel - Gameplay --

So let’s talk about the actual game, shall we? It’s amazing. Genuinely it is handcrafted to be the absolute best that it can be with the resources available. It looks gorgeous, it feels fantastic and the design as a whole is top tier honestly. Every area works exactly as intended, there’s not a single battle in the game that I can think of where the arena felt too easy, unfair or restrictive. Sure not every single room or part of a map looks entirely unique, but having beaten the game three times I didn’t find myself tired of a setting even once, and that’s pretty cool.

Further to this, the enemies are handpicked and diverse enough to ensure that you never feel entirely safe. You can approach each area or enemy differently, but with the inclusion of opponents that require a different strategy, you quickly find yourself having to adapt to every situation almost independently. This is especially effective for players like me, who tend to find weapons they’re most comfortable using and make them their primary arsenal. Personally I ran with the SG pistol and Riot shotgun, with a rifle for certain enemies and an smg for close quarter crowd control. Tactical, right? You might think I’m prepared for anything, I certainly did. That was until the introduction of a later enemy that almost demands penetrative or explosive damage. Suddenly my backup rifle I’d mainly been using to safely pop tentacle-y heads became my new best friend. Friendship ended with laser sight SG pistol and shallow but strong Riot shotgun, now the Stingray rifle is my best friend… For now.
Every weapon in this game holds on its own and the upgrades are really effective at allowing you to kit yourself out however you want to play, but what I’m getting at here is that no matter how well optimized everything can be, the game won’t ever become a monotonous “use pistol on approach, use shotgun when close, loot and leave” ordeal - you’re going to need to get into a groove of how to handle different enemies, and this groove is one of my favourite things in any game ever.

I know I said I wasn’t going to compare and I swear this is the only time, but being able to move while aiming and so effortlessly switch weapons, reposition yourself and effectively maneuver in general is such a godsend for this game. The flow of combat never stops being fun and for me personally that flow was a huge part of why I never loved the original. I couldn’t be more happy with how improved this is and Capcom have really gone above and beyond in making this version of the game feel like you’re in total control at all times.

-- Leon Kennedy: Survivor - Character & Tone --

As someone who for their teen years was mostly into Resident Evil through the Milla Jovovich movies and playing Resi 5’s co-op with half a dozen people, Leon Kennedy was always someone that I knew was cool, but didn’t really get to know properly until a few years ago. I’d played through his campaign in RE6, but as I’m sure you know that isn’t the best title to refer to when considering these beloved characters. So as you can expect, the RE2 remake was when I got my first real taste of Leon and of course I grew to love him quickly, but there was always a faint hint of “but I prefer Claire” when thinking of that entry on its own. Naturally they’re their own, very different characters, but this meant that Leon still hadn’t had a chance to shine brighter than anyone else. To me he was only “the bingo guy” from my long forgotten RE4 (2005), and now the lovable baby faced cop from RE2. Resident Evil 4 (2023) changed that.

Leon is such a bonafide badass in this game that he easily skyrocketed to the top tiers of my favourite characters in the series. Combined with my existing love from RE2R, seeing how different he was this time around was like reuniting with someone after they’ve had years to train and come to terms with what happened to them. A stark contrast to the original RE4’s Leon being comically smug and campy - Traits that make for some really great lines, but that don’t quite fit the tragic character arc that our boy has been on and is still going through. This remake is no stranger to silly one-liners and dorky quips, but none of them compromise the core theme that the title is going for. The campy moments feel more to me like Leon letting out his inner dork (or badass), enjoying those brief moments that he can and taking pride in his abilities, but not in a way that undermines how seriously he’s taking the situation. Leon truly cares every step of the way, he’s been through a hell of a lot and he’s allowed to be confident in himself after surviving something that would’ve killed almost anyone else. He’s true to his goals and every triumph makes that endgame feel just a little bit more possible:
“This time, it has to be different.”


-- The Controversial & The Cheese Lover - Side Characters --

I’ll have to stress here again that my memory of the original is lacking, so you might have guessed that until this remake my opinion of Ashley was pretty much “LEON!~” - I always thought she was a highschool student that had quite possibly never been outside before and was allergic to doing as she was told (So just any teenager really) - but alas! ‘New Ashley’ is here and she is just wonderful.

The updates to her appearance and demeanor have ultimately resulted in a different character to what I find most people remember. Now much more clearly a young adult, Ashley is a very welcome companion throughout the game, feeling much closer to the likes of Bioshock Infinite’s Elizabeth or TLOU’s Ellie, in the sense that I actually liked having her around and seeing her contribute on our journey. [Who knew that could be done by a character whose name wasn’t a variation of the name Ellie!?]
This reimagined Ashley works perfectly within the setting of the game, and the moments she shares with Leon as well as the way she reacts to things do well to establish the kind of character she is, despite her limited role in the overall plot. She’s not just a damsel in distress to be saved, she wants nothing more than to go home and she knows that the only way that happens is if she follows Leon’s lead, getting involved only when it’s really going to help, and otherwise letting him do his thing. I won’t go into specifics, but the way Ashley and her relationship with Leon develop over the course of the game made it impossible for me not to come away from it loving them both.

I have rambled so much so I’m afraid Luis and Ada are getting smaller parts, but the short version is that I enjoyed them both. Luis was a bit of an enigma for a lot of the game, and I can’t say I loved every single part of his story, but looking back at the full picture I really appreciate his role and actually quite like his personal arc. He’s fun to be around and somehow despite being a badass himself, he’s able to make Leon look even more like a badass by comparison, which is really something. One of the earlier scenes in the game with the two of them is one of the hottest scenes from a game in recent memory, and I mean that in the least gay way possible.

As for Ada.. Well Ada is an interesting character. I’ve heard a lot of takes on her performance in this and honestly I don’t know where I land. I’m hoping that the inevitable Separate Ways DLC gives us a better insight into why she behaves the way that she does. I’ve heard a lot of hate about the way she talks but I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as the drama makes out. To me it just sounds like everything she says is in a slightly erotic voice, but where she doesn’t fully want to be there in the first place? Like the director told her to be hot but distracted lol, idk. I didn’t find her character nor performance to be a detriment to the game and I look forward to coming back to see more of her. (Especially because her character model is stunning, seriously) - Speaking of coming back..

-- Different this Time - Replayability --

Resident Evil games have always been famous for their replay value, they encourage or even demand that you run through them more than once, often with specific handicaps or conditions in order to unlock certain rewards. When I first heard that this remake was gonna take around 17 hours on the first run, the thought of doing a second one quickly became more of a fear than a goal. I was convinced that no matter how much easier it was the 2nd time, it’d be nothing but a slog and there’s no way you could beat it in 1 or 2 sittings like all the games before it… More fool me, because Capcom simply does not miss. My first standard playthrough took me just shy of 18 hours to complete, with a number of deaths along the way and a slew of missed collectables and trophy opportunities. Being who I am, this meant that a replay was necessary, if only for the sake of breezing through to get the easy trophies. But that’s not what I decided to do.

I don’t quite remember what inspired this decision, perhaps just over-confidence from having beaten the game once, but I decided to try my hand at a NG+ Professional run. At the time, I had not unlocked any of the bonus rewards or weapons. I had a B in Standard difficulty and I’d missed about 13 of the Castellan dolls needed to unlock the knife that can become unbreakable. I also didn’t use a guide, but decided that if everyone online was beating the game in 4-5 hours the second time, then I could too.
This run would take me 5 hours and 35 minutes, just 5 minutes too long for me to get an S Rank. 😔

In my attempts to be as fast as possible I played fast and loose, running past or through as many encounters as I could, ignoring almost all loot that wasn’t within arms reach and regretting it dearly when I found myself without ammo going into a boss fight. This run was so much fun that I wasn’t even mad when I ended it so close yet so far from getting the S rank I wanted. I’d be lying if I said that some parts weren’t really fkn hard and equally as annoying, and I was torn up when the clock struck 6am and I finally conceded, buying an RPG for the final boss that I’d been too ill-equipped to beat for dozens of attempts, but I had fun.

And it wasn’t in vain! This A rank meant that I now had a bonus weapon that could be upgraded to have infinite ammo, and a costume for Ashley that, well if you read this far you know damn well what it does lol. Even after a collective 22+ hours (it was actually closer to 40 bc of deaths and idle time oop) and 2 completions under my belt, I wanted more.

I was hoping to use my new gun, but given the trophy list I instead decided to work on an Assisted run, in which I would get the trophies for all treasures, all Castellan dolls, no recovery items, no merchant, and pistol + knife only, in a single run. This went about as well as you might expect. I won’t break it all down again but what a challenge this was, every room had to be treated differently to the last two times and with my no healing nor merchant I couldn’t repair my knife/armour or regain any health if something went wrong. I’m telling you I’ve seen people complain that the knife durability is pointless, but when you can’t repair it even starting out with 2 fully upgraded ones will not help you. I went through every knife in the game and ended with about 10% hp on the one you unlock after your first playthrough. By chapter 12 I was finishing off downed enemies with bullets because stabbing them would’ve meant having no way to parry, and this was on Assisted.
This run was challenging as hell, but I beat the entire game - final boss included - using nothing but the SG-09R, the Punisher, and knives. Fuck yeah. 😌

The only bad news to come from all of this is that playing the game on NG++ Assisted with only 1 or 2 hits worth of hp per battle did NOT equip me for playing New game Professional at all lmao. But I’ll get there eventually!

-- Final Thoughts - Thank You for your Time --

In conclusion, it finally makes sense to me now why Resident Evil 4 is so often called the best game in the series, and this remake may even be just that. If the 2005 gamecube release was this mind-blowing to the players of its time, I get it.

If you read this whole thing then you have my dearest thanks. This game has become something of an obsession since it was released and it felt only right that I give it a ‘proper’ review to boot. (That and this is the best excuse I have to just talk about it lmao) - I hope this was enjoyable or interesting to read, I know a lot of my reviews are just me word vomiting every thought I have, often without a real point or through-line, but I choose to lazily write that off as passion. 😌

If anything I said was wrong, gave you a new perspective on something or was worth responding to at all please do let me know. It means a lot to know these reviews serve as even a little bit of engagement between y’all and I. Thanks again everyone, hope you’re having a wonderful week, and I look forward to seeing your own reviews or seeing you back for my next one… Whenever that may be. Take care! 🙏

Some of the levels in this game carry the same energy as the Boats n Hoes scene in Step Brothers: Two deluded morons being utterly incompetent at what they're doing, but celebrating it as if they're heroes.

The level of disregard for collateral damage and civilian casualties was astounding, and juxtaposed with some of the most boring missions in the franchise,making for a pretty nonsensical and hard-to-care-about story. Made worse by weapons that feel like nothing and have the laziest ammo counters ever made, and friendly AI that will micromanage you every 3 seconds and tell you to hurry up even when you're well ahead of them, this all made for a pretty poor experience overall.

It's kinda ridiculous that the most enjoyable parts of this were making fun of how silly it was, taking the piss out of Kevin Spacey and maybe like 1(one) mission that was pretty decent. The finale has a part that makes you slow walk at a set speed for over a full minute for christs sake, there's not even anything to look at while you do, who made this game 😭

Anyway yeah this was kinda🥱and idk if I could've gotten through it if my gf wasn't playing simultaneously so we could will each other to keep going.

Don't worry if you haven't played this one yet, maybe play Titanfall 2 if you want near-futuristic warfare, it's way better.

This is a couple days late but it feels wrong not giving this at least something despite my internal love for it, so here's a "brief" gathering of what thoughts I have. (it was not brief, oop!)

Unfortunately, I really struggle to focus on VNs for long periods, and with these games being pretty lengthy with huge chunks of reading, the duology ended up taking me around 15 months to finish... Which as you can imagine means that thanks to my awful memory, I really don't remember all that many specifics, and therefore only the positives are left.

As such, I've simply forgotten about any gripes I took with either game, any weak or flawed case has been condensed so much that I can't recall anything negative to say, and what I'm left with is a heavily biased adoration for these games based on what I do remember: The characters.
(... and the music)

The cast of the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles is nothing short of delightful. One of the better parts of playing this in chunks with such long breaks was that each time a character came back on screen I was beaming with joy. Those with their own themes would be especially welcome, making every time I picked the game back up feel special, like reuniting with an old friend.

I can say undoubtedly that some of the witnesses in the series bothered me, be it for their designs or disgusting animations, but everyone I remember strongly, I remember fondly, and that's pretty awesome. Susato is my precious bean, of whom I will hear no criticism whatsoever. Ryunosuke is an excellent protagonist - I haven't played any of the older Ace games but I'd be surprised if old fans thought he didn't fit the bill nicely, am I wrong? - Herlock Sholmes was a hugely pleasant surprise, Iris, Gina, Gregsy, TOBY! I love them all honestly. And of course, pray forgive the discourtesy of leaving Barok Van Zieks until last, a prosecutor so good that I'm genuinely a little worried the ones from earlier in the franchise won't live up to his impeccable demeanor.

Aside from the characters, the music in these games slaps, hard. Every song is a banger and I must've spent at least 90% of my playtime bopping or humming along while I read. I also got to enjoy the music for a lot longer on account of me getting distracted and having the game serenade me while I do shit on my other screen, making this game one of few that truly benefitted from me being really bad at playing it

As for the story, there are huge chunks of my memory missing but from what's covered in 2 and what 2 recounts of 1, I really like what they did. The whole foreign student practicing law in Britain (my homeland 😌) angle fit perfectly into the overarching plot, as well as making for some really interesting relationships and scenarios between the characters, even before establishing any personal history that may have played a role.
Hell even the journey itself plays a role! When I started I had basically no idea how Ace games worked, so there were multiple times where I felt like Leo DiCaprio in that meme, snapping my fingers at the screen thinking "No way! The thing!"-- It was just really fun to play, idk how else to say it. Nothing stuck out to me as feeling forced or shoehorned in, (but ofc take that with a grain of salt bc I played it over 15 months so) it just worked, and I think that's neat :)

Overall, while my memory is foggy as hell, I am absolutely certain that I adored these games. Resolve served as both a step up from the first game as well as building on it's story and cases for what I found to be a satisfying conclusion. Maybe the very very end wrapped up a little quickly but idk, the actual ending of the game was so long already idk that I would've even wanted to spend longer getting the specifics of the outcome, so it's forgiven.

If you like the Ace Attorney games then you'd be a fool not to try these two. I believe the cases may be longer but there is so much to each of them between the trials and investigation that I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Capcom have been killing it in recent years and I'm really hoping they plan to port/remaster 4-6 of Phoenix's games as well, at least before I beat 1-3.

That's about all I have to say, leave it to me to write walls of text just to say "character and music good :)" but y'all know what you're in for by now :p

Much appreciated to anyone still reading these, regular amount of thanks to those who just like the review or gloss over a few sentences 🙏 Next review is looking likely to be Lost in Play, possibly Like a Dragon: Ishin! after, as I need to beat both before Resident Evil 4 drops. Stay tuned.
Have a great weekend!