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Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
A better Cyberpunk gaming experience than Cyberpunk 2077. Also a little better than the Stunt Sets DLC, though I have the exact same issues with both - you're done with them each combined in like an hour or two. But still, the amount of off-the-wall fun you're able to conjure here in those couple of hours is not insignificant (especially if you've got a friend). The entire setting looms over the map, shrouded in fog and laser lights with some really cool designwork - and you can blast from one end of it to the other via improvised jetpack, bust your shit on the top somewhere, and comically tumble all the way back down. I'm pleased with that!
A better Cyberpunk gaming experience than Cyberpunk 2077. Also a little better than the Stunt Sets DLC, though I have the exact same issues with both - you're done with them each combined in like an hour or two. But still, the amount of off-the-wall fun you're able to conjure here in those couple of hours is not insignificant (especially if you've got a friend). The entire setting looms over the map, shrouded in fog and laser lights with some really cool designwork - and you can blast from one end of it to the other via improvised jetpack, bust your shit on the top somewhere, and comically tumble all the way back down. I'm pleased with that!
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
"There's a corpse born every minute!"
Consistently amusing, intense, hilarious, and more methodical than your average class shooter - assuredly the best of the Saints Row DLCs, though not without its caveats. Feels like Volition's stab at a games-as-a-service type deal without the always-online requirement or predatory microtransaction shops - which is certainly something I can get behind. Yeah it's nothing but blowing through bodies at the end of the day but come on, which one of these types of class-based shooters isn't repetitive? And people sang the praises of those other ones, this honestly really isn't all that different than a lot of those 2015/2016 GOTY contendors lmfao. Really emphasizes why the base's Takedown system is God-tier imo, you can't just sit behind cover and regen over and over - you have to act at every move, always thinking three steps ahead before and during each battle. And once again the art design really shines through here, the mangled carnival meets nuclear waste dump aesthetic is seriously splendid and lends itself nicely to the LiveLeak/Nerve (2016) aura this expansion manages to create. My biggest gripe is the same one I have with the other SR2022 products - and it's that this does sadly feel like a rushed product that didn't get the time in the oven it would have benefitted from (arbitrarily caps level progression at 8??). But as someone who can't spend a lot of time on these sorts of games anyway, it's still an unfortunate smudge but not quite a crushing blow of death. Enjoyed my time with it greatly. Chief Justice MVP.
"There's a corpse born every minute!"
Consistently amusing, intense, hilarious, and more methodical than your average class shooter - assuredly the best of the Saints Row DLCs, though not without its caveats. Feels like Volition's stab at a games-as-a-service type deal without the always-online requirement or predatory microtransaction shops - which is certainly something I can get behind. Yeah it's nothing but blowing through bodies at the end of the day but come on, which one of these types of class-based shooters isn't repetitive? And people sang the praises of those other ones, this honestly really isn't all that different than a lot of those 2015/2016 GOTY contendors lmfao. Really emphasizes why the base's Takedown system is God-tier imo, you can't just sit behind cover and regen over and over - you have to act at every move, always thinking three steps ahead before and during each battle. And once again the art design really shines through here, the mangled carnival meets nuclear waste dump aesthetic is seriously splendid and lends itself nicely to the LiveLeak/Nerve (2016) aura this expansion manages to create. My biggest gripe is the same one I have with the other SR2022 products - and it's that this does sadly feel like a rushed product that didn't get the time in the oven it would have benefitted from (arbitrarily caps level progression at 8??). But as someone who can't spend a lot of time on these sorts of games anyway, it's still an unfortunate smudge but not quite a crushing blow of death. Enjoyed my time with it greatly. Chief Justice MVP.
Considering that there's no such thing as a bad Fall Guys season, the fact that this is the relative 'worst' of them all isn't a huge knock, to be fair. But unlike OG Season 6, whose games were at least fun and always surprising, this batch of games are just way too mid to justify sitting with them over and over again (usually in the exact same order) for SIX MONTHS. Puzzle Path just became glorified follow-the-leader with zero skill, Speed Slider and Hoop Chute started off strong but eventually felt like going through the motions, and Blastlantis might be the most boring game they've ever added. Sliding doesn't add a whole lot to this either imo, and I don't care enough about Kraken Slam to even comment on it. Still - Fall Guys is Fall Guys, even with these specific mediocre games and surfeit of sadly-vaulted rounds you still can find plenty of fun to be had here in other modes. Plus, come on, SpongeBob and co. are worth the price of admission.
Even though I think this is only marginally worse than the highly praised Hitman: Blood Money, it's interesting to look back on a time in gaming where so frequently franchises asked themselves: "What makes our games not only work, but really stand apart from the pack?" and then proceed to absolutely fucking break them lmao. Takes almost everything that makes the Hitman series what it is and turns them cheap and un-fun; every so often you'll get a couple levels reminiscent of the IP until you're immediately reminded of its completely nonfunctional disguise system or some of the most heinously butt-ugly cutscenes ever put into a video game (including but not limited to Agent 47's worst design ever, his face looks like a bad bowl of bread pudding). I'll cop to having fun navigating its bizarre collection of levels in fits and starts (being able to knock out like 150 people in a bar for some reason being a highlight) and its voice cast is totally innocent - including Traci Lords and totally unhinged Keith Carradine + Powers Boothe. But so often its mechanics and rules are just godawful, and its equally terrible story betrays everything this series/character is. So it's just too much crap to justify a little dumb fun in the end.
Games I Dislike That Everybody Else Likes
Possibly ruined this one for myself by playing Hitman (2016) first, but I can certainly see why people love this - the story is kind of cool, the levels are kind of cool, the weapons and open-endedness are kind of cool, so on and so forth. But that's the thing, they're only kind of cool here - if you so happened to play most of the later games first then this just feels pared-down in comparison. Obviously for its day this was revolutionary and it still sports that classic PS2-era charm which is hard not to respect, but I refuse to subscribe to the idea that just because something was revolutionary at one point means that it will always stand the test of time. And even despite all that, the controls are shoddy and the executions are mostly lame, sometimes broken/janky, and stupidly specific to the point of not being that fun in general. But I digress, that final mission is - to put it frankly - fucking awesome, and it does feature the best version of "Ave Maria" which has rightfully since become iconic. But also... whatever, I have no idea what I would get out of this over playing the more refined 2016-and-on installments. Slightly better than Hitman: Absolution because there's more charisma, the narrative isn't dogshit, and Agent 47 doesn't look like a hemorrhoid. Oh, and the disguise system actually works.
Possibly ruined this one for myself by playing Hitman (2016) first, but I can certainly see why people love this - the story is kind of cool, the levels are kind of cool, the weapons and open-endedness are kind of cool, so on and so forth. But that's the thing, they're only kind of cool here - if you so happened to play most of the later games first then this just feels pared-down in comparison. Obviously for its day this was revolutionary and it still sports that classic PS2-era charm which is hard not to respect, but I refuse to subscribe to the idea that just because something was revolutionary at one point means that it will always stand the test of time. And even despite all that, the controls are shoddy and the executions are mostly lame, sometimes broken/janky, and stupidly specific to the point of not being that fun in general. But I digress, that final mission is - to put it frankly - fucking awesome, and it does feature the best version of "Ave Maria" which has rightfully since become iconic. But also... whatever, I have no idea what I would get out of this over playing the more refined 2016-and-on installments. Slightly better than Hitman: Absolution because there's more charisma, the narrative isn't dogshit, and Agent 47 doesn't look like a hemorrhoid. Oh, and the disguise system actually works.
1997
Games I Dislike That Everybody Else Likes
Run-of-the-mill fighter that's virtually indistinguishable from the massive bevy of other entries to the genre that were coming out in droves around this time. The beast system is its biggest nuance but it isn't interesting enough to warrant going to this one over even the first Virtua Fighter - which is still fun in all its blocky, zero-gravity simplicity all these years later. You can also just spam Alice's leg sweep and decimate most enemies without being touched - and it should be noted that I mostly just mashed every face button on the controller at random and beat the entire arcade mode in under 12 minutes without dying once. The options are crazy in-depth, though - and the autosave feature is a huge breath of fresh air given the era, way ahead of its time. Objectively solid but I was just not that into it, didn't grab me the same way a Mortal Kombat or Tekken would. And I'm sorry but some of these characters are - to put it bluntly - butt-ugly.
Run-of-the-mill fighter that's virtually indistinguishable from the massive bevy of other entries to the genre that were coming out in droves around this time. The beast system is its biggest nuance but it isn't interesting enough to warrant going to this one over even the first Virtua Fighter - which is still fun in all its blocky, zero-gravity simplicity all these years later. You can also just spam Alice's leg sweep and decimate most enemies without being touched - and it should be noted that I mostly just mashed every face button on the controller at random and beat the entire arcade mode in under 12 minutes without dying once. The options are crazy in-depth, though - and the autosave feature is a huge breath of fresh air given the era, way ahead of its time. Objectively solid but I was just not that into it, didn't grab me the same way a Mortal Kombat or Tekken would. And I'm sorry but some of these characters are - to put it bluntly - butt-ugly.
Top 50 Favorites: #44
Careful, confident horror about the incomprehensible and the lengths your mind will go to fill in the gaps. Far from perfect, even at its strongest still feels like a low-carb Silent Hill 2 - but I just can't help but admire how bold horror games were around this time. Stuff like this, Cry of Fear, Slender: The Arrival, hell even the first Five Nights at Freddy's were majorly innovating for a good solid 3 or 4 years straight - it's easy to laugh at now but there's something to be said about the effective simplicity of creating a horror video game for practically the express purpose of holding a place in the collective conscience simply for scaring your favorite YouTuber. I was never that into "Let's Plays" but there's an almost warm comfortability of a horror game that takes itself seriously but not too seriously (unlike, say, The Last of Us); one that is interested in crafting a good, tight, accessible lore without wanting to spin it into a disparate web of pointlessly convoluted bullshit for the sake of seeming deep on internet comment sections (Hello Neighbor and most of the FNaF sequels); and one that sets out to create good scares and a memorable atmosphere over being a cynical flash-in-the-pan meme to sell merch (Poppy's Playtime, Baldi's Basics). It's crazy to look back on how this era really future-proofed itself by doing what everyone at the time swore would make them dated - wills itself to life by going back to basics and asking how they can be done really, really well. Is way more concerned with leaving its own self-assured stamp instead of worrying about sterilizing itself so it won't have a single blemish and it's all the better for it. Filled with character.
Careful, confident horror about the incomprehensible and the lengths your mind will go to fill in the gaps. Far from perfect, even at its strongest still feels like a low-carb Silent Hill 2 - but I just can't help but admire how bold horror games were around this time. Stuff like this, Cry of Fear, Slender: The Arrival, hell even the first Five Nights at Freddy's were majorly innovating for a good solid 3 or 4 years straight - it's easy to laugh at now but there's something to be said about the effective simplicity of creating a horror video game for practically the express purpose of holding a place in the collective conscience simply for scaring your favorite YouTuber. I was never that into "Let's Plays" but there's an almost warm comfortability of a horror game that takes itself seriously but not too seriously (unlike, say, The Last of Us); one that is interested in crafting a good, tight, accessible lore without wanting to spin it into a disparate web of pointlessly convoluted bullshit for the sake of seeming deep on internet comment sections (Hello Neighbor and most of the FNaF sequels); and one that sets out to create good scares and a memorable atmosphere over being a cynical flash-in-the-pan meme to sell merch (Poppy's Playtime, Baldi's Basics). It's crazy to look back on how this era really future-proofed itself by doing what everyone at the time swore would make them dated - wills itself to life by going back to basics and asking how they can be done really, really well. Is way more concerned with leaving its own self-assured stamp instead of worrying about sterilizing itself so it won't have a single blemish and it's all the better for it. Filled with character.
1998
Truly innovative, Nintendo has always been at their coolest when they enact another one of their surreal, unique experiments - authentically weird and deeply horrifying for no other reason than for shits and giggles (which I admire). For what this is, it's impressive. However, you can knock out absolutely everything this thing has to offer in maybe an hour? After that you've pretty much just got the camera, which let's be honest - the novelty is neat but you can only take so many each time before it gets stale. The random scary faces are iconic, though.
2009
Games I Dislike That Everybody Else Likes
I'm sorry everyone, I tried - I really tried with this one, but this was maybe the single most miserable gaming experience I've ever had. The only positive I can say is that there's no shortage of content; between the base game and its 4 DLCs it will keep you occupied for a good while. Not that it's good content, but hey it's something I guess. Otherwise I think this is one of the worst things ever put out by a Triple A studio. It's got that godawful early-seventh-generation level design where it's just these gross, turd-colored environments that are claustrophobic, vacant, and not at all fun to explore - there are a ton of 'worlds' here but they all look and feel mostly the exact same. The characters are all insufferable as they spout the same embarrassing 'le epic lulz bacon gamerbro' humor which is actually so deeply unfunny that it fucking hurts (speaking as someone who loves juvenile/immature humor). But mostly I think the issue is that the general gameplay is totally braindead and one-note, it's what I would call 'fake difficult' - by that I mean that it doesn't actually challenge you as a combatant in a game that sells itself on its supposed challenging combat. Not that it's unfair or too easy per se, but the way in which it approaches a battle is super dated and childish - just piling enemy on top of enemy with zero strategy whatsoever so each fight feels identical, just move around and mash the trigger for every. Single. Goddamn. Fight. It's beyond vapid. Not to mention its looting/rarity system is pretty bad and doesn't really at all fit with the rest of the game. To say I hated it would be an understatement - the shitty, repetitive music has been burned painfully into my brain even over a year after 100%-ing it and all its DLC (which, sidenote, I actually vastly prefer to the main game even though I still think they all suck). So bad that it unironically felt like I died and was watching my own corpse play it out-of-body.
I'm sorry everyone, I tried - I really tried with this one, but this was maybe the single most miserable gaming experience I've ever had. The only positive I can say is that there's no shortage of content; between the base game and its 4 DLCs it will keep you occupied for a good while. Not that it's good content, but hey it's something I guess. Otherwise I think this is one of the worst things ever put out by a Triple A studio. It's got that godawful early-seventh-generation level design where it's just these gross, turd-colored environments that are claustrophobic, vacant, and not at all fun to explore - there are a ton of 'worlds' here but they all look and feel mostly the exact same. The characters are all insufferable as they spout the same embarrassing 'le epic lulz bacon gamerbro' humor which is actually so deeply unfunny that it fucking hurts (speaking as someone who loves juvenile/immature humor). But mostly I think the issue is that the general gameplay is totally braindead and one-note, it's what I would call 'fake difficult' - by that I mean that it doesn't actually challenge you as a combatant in a game that sells itself on its supposed challenging combat. Not that it's unfair or too easy per se, but the way in which it approaches a battle is super dated and childish - just piling enemy on top of enemy with zero strategy whatsoever so each fight feels identical, just move around and mash the trigger for every. Single. Goddamn. Fight. It's beyond vapid. Not to mention its looting/rarity system is pretty bad and doesn't really at all fit with the rest of the game. To say I hated it would be an understatement - the shitty, repetitive music has been burned painfully into my brain even over a year after 100%-ing it and all its DLC (which, sidenote, I actually vastly prefer to the main game even though I still think they all suck). So bad that it unironically felt like I died and was watching my own corpse play it out-of-body.
1983
Great concept but the controls just aren't sufficient for it yet. Any blocks that aren't directly horizontal to your torso take a million years to aim at - if you can even point to them at all.
Just as endearingly clunky as it was when it initially released, but I'm kind of glad they kept the primitive mechanics intact rather than watering them down and/or replacing them with all-too-basic antiseptic controls like some current remakes/remasters tend to do. It's always a treat to go back and see what we used to expect out of triple-A games from the seventh gen, and both this along with the original still look rock-solid for the time. But mostly this thing just coasts off of charm - particularly the chemistry of Nathan and Sully; and there's always been something particularly special about mowing down foes with AK-47s and Desert Eagles in these games. Rough around the edges, but a very important piece of gaming history.
1982
One of the very best Atari 2600 games. Infinitely replayable, great graphics/animations for the era (the sprites actually look like what they're supposed to represent!), intuitive, and easy for anyone to pick up and enjoy right away. Make this one of the first games you get for the system.
2012
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
Leon's campaign > Jake's campaign > Chris's campaign > Ada's campaign
Special people with special relationships - by far the best entry out of RE's "dumb era", totally encapsulating the series' long-standing theme of beauty versus beast: pitting male models, flawlessly gorgeous women, and massive hulking tank behemoth bros against the most disgusting, warped destructions of flesh imaginable. All that goes double the distance when it's one of the best looking video games I've ever played, every cent of its ludicrous budget is right there on the screen at any given moment. Imagine spooky haunted house horror mixed with early 2010s Call of Duty ripoff mixed with hilariously over-the-top action setpieces that would make Michael Bay quiver in his boots - then you get this beautiful specimen. I get why we all scoffed at this on release but it oddly seems like the antithesis of most of its criticisms in the current day. Great shit, needs to be seen to be believed. I guess everyone just forgot about quicktiming away from a colossal robot statue and doing Hollywood judo kicks to waves of enemies in glorified combat arenas in Resident Evil 4 because this really isn't much dumber than that.
Leon's campaign > Jake's campaign > Chris's campaign > Ada's campaign
Special people with special relationships - by far the best entry out of RE's "dumb era", totally encapsulating the series' long-standing theme of beauty versus beast: pitting male models, flawlessly gorgeous women, and massive hulking tank behemoth bros against the most disgusting, warped destructions of flesh imaginable. All that goes double the distance when it's one of the best looking video games I've ever played, every cent of its ludicrous budget is right there on the screen at any given moment. Imagine spooky haunted house horror mixed with early 2010s Call of Duty ripoff mixed with hilariously over-the-top action setpieces that would make Michael Bay quiver in his boots - then you get this beautiful specimen. I get why we all scoffed at this on release but it oddly seems like the antithesis of most of its criticisms in the current day. Great shit, needs to be seen to be believed. I guess everyone just forgot about quicktiming away from a colossal robot statue and doing Hollywood judo kicks to waves of enemies in glorified combat arenas in Resident Evil 4 because this really isn't much dumber than that.
A couple (major) grievances I need to air about this season, before I get into why I think it's still their best since SS1 - firstly, this signifying the death of new themed seasons is a heavy effin' blow which can't help but feel like the beginning of the end. Sure not every past season was a mega-hit, but at least they all had their own distinct identity which lend themselves to greater variety mix during play. I mean I loved this digi-polygon theme at first but now it's feeling stale - even a lot of the creator rounds feel samey. Though taking that into account, general gameplay is better than it's felt in what seems like YEARS. The vaulting bullshit that plagued this game heavy since 2022 feels almost totally muted here; with a ton of underappreciated and sorely missed games being put back into the cycle on a nice schedule. No more getting Stompin' Ground or Speed Slider every single fucking match anymore (though boring Blastlantis still shows up too frequently for my tastes)! And while team games can be fun on occasion, I'm glad they've lessened their appearances which before would totally derail any progress you made that match seemingly at random. The creative mode itself here is honestly also a hoot for what it is, though it still feels like its missing key developments. Still can effortlessly boot this back up and have a good time.
2019
Top 50 Favorites: #31 (Premium Edition)
Such an amazing Souls clone that I honestly prefer this to any of those games. Frantic, darkly comic, neon-laced psychedelia that I never wanted to put down - beneficially removes all of the forced doom-and-gloom bullshit from the first game (of which I still remain a defender) in favor of letting the story take a side-seat while you get thrown into the ring with a murders row of colorful characters. Major General Ezra Shields is one of the most teeth-grindingly difficult (but fun!) bosses I've ever fought. It also irons out the kinks of the first's combat - giving us one of the most deeply satisfying block/parry systems in a video game and a vast array of weapons with their own snappily taut control setup. Incredibly inventive armor system and atmosphere, and the length feels just perfect (unthinkable for a Soulslike). Plus come on, just fucking look at this thing. It's a beautiful behemoth.
Such an amazing Souls clone that I honestly prefer this to any of those games. Frantic, darkly comic, neon-laced psychedelia that I never wanted to put down - beneficially removes all of the forced doom-and-gloom bullshit from the first game (of which I still remain a defender) in favor of letting the story take a side-seat while you get thrown into the ring with a murders row of colorful characters. Major General Ezra Shields is one of the most teeth-grindingly difficult (but fun!) bosses I've ever fought. It also irons out the kinks of the first's combat - giving us one of the most deeply satisfying block/parry systems in a video game and a vast array of weapons with their own snappily taut control setup. Incredibly inventive armor system and atmosphere, and the length feels just perfect (unthinkable for a Soulslike). Plus come on, just fucking look at this thing. It's a beautiful behemoth.