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DJSCheddar finished Magrunner: Dark Pulse
So did you play PORTAL and think, what this needs is a really involved Cthulhu mythos story and much much looser physics?

Well guess what

< 1 min ago

DJSCheddar finished Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time
Clips, audio, and concepts from the show presented in the most asinine way possible. Just watch the show.

52 mins ago

1 hr ago

DJSCheddar finished Pyst
Taken on its own, the idea of the beautiful, quiet, mysterious MYST island eventually falling into disrepair and becoming overwhelmed by littering and graffiti as millions of visitors (gamers) trample through and fiddle with the puzzles over and over for years like it's a Disneyland attraction IS actually kind of intriguing and COULD POSSIBLY support a well-made parody game. Unfortunately, this game 1) isn't funny, and 2) isn't actually a game at all, really - just a mildly interactive slideshow. (And yes, smartass, technically, so is MYST. Shutup.)

So, you don't actually wander around and explore or anything. You're presented with a series of postcards from the island (just screenshots from the original game with crap drawn over the top of them) and you click around on them and hear a couple little skits and see a couple dumb animations on each. Eventually you tab through them all and that's it. The humor is mostly goofy voices/sound effects and dumb '90s schtick so ... yeah, nothing beyond incredibly dated dad jokes, basically. Topless John Goodman in a crown is probably the most noteworthy thing here, so uh, yeah. There you go.

12 hrs ago

DJSCheddar finished realMyst: Masterpiece Edition
Gettin' there! Almost! Still a little awkward.

One of the biggest problems with these full 3D versions is how incredibly small they make the environments feel. The rooms are shoeboxes. The island is the size of a backyard. They really should have just doubled the size of everything to keep the mysterious, grandiose feeling from the still images.

1 day ago

DJSCheddar finished realMyst
It's MYST! Except now it looks like garbage and has terrible controls!

More of a weird experiment than a game (well, it's actually just a cashgrab/tech demo, but let's just pretend) akin to something like Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake or the new all-CGI The Lion King. Not as bad as those, to be honest, but still not a great idea.

1 day ago

1 day ago

DJSCheddar finished Myst
Certainly successful at creating an intriguing, mysterious world to explore and try to comprehend - significantly less so at allowing you to navigate or interact with said world and unravel its secrets. The puzzles are, yes, in fact, MYST puzzles - maddeningly unclear yet undeniably evocative and built into the world in exciting ways - but their legendary obtuseness would actually be much less of an issue if the solutions weren't so labor-intensive. Every time you get that wonderful "a-ha!" moment, it's usually tamped down by the realization of all the places you have to go and crap you have to do to enact the results. This and the trial-and-error nature of the worlds' machinery is obviously anti-fun and certainly not intelluctually stimulating - it just exists to extend the experience. (The fact that the 100% no-glitch speedrun record is sitting at about ten minutes speaks to this, also.)

But the game was a hit and was influential for a reason, and it does still hold some power. Tinkering around, wondering at the sights, desperately trying to make something, somewhere happen. The visuals actually hold up a lot better than 99% of early CG because they were smart about their designs and didn't overextend themselves, and I love how the FMV being (mostly) confined to little windows in glitchy magic books masks the low quality. Aside from the terrible hotspot navigation, it actually stands up and is fairly playable today. But, to stoke a very pointless old rivalry, it's no THE 7TH GUEST.

1 day ago

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