I really, really, REALLY wanted to like this game more than I did. But I just can't. And it's not because of some annoying enemy, painfully difficult boss, or obtuse puzzle. Oh, nay nay. The problem(s) with this game are the DROP RATES. I have spent about 17 hours playing this game, and at LEAST 5 of those hours were spent grinding for jugs of milk or what have you in order to make more food so I could actually heal, or murdering the same crappy little enemy for a percent of a chance for the bastard to drop his shard, which made the game horridly boring after enough of it. And that utterly sucks, because I WANTED to play more, but I knew if I did I'd have to grind even more than I already had.

But, even despite the UNGODLY level of grinding, I'm still considering jumping back in, because it's just so good, and is why I'm still giving it 4 stars despite my hatred of grinding. Maybe there's a mod or something that'll reduce the grind.

Shadowrun Returns. The game that started Harebrained Schemes' Shadowrun Trilogy, and yet is hands down the worst of the three. Now, this isn't to say it's a BAD game, otherwise it wouldn't have gotten a DLC so good it became it's own game, or an actual full sequel. But, it is most certainly flawed. No companions are free to take, instead costing you money to hire(including the ones required by the story to progress). Because of this, it never feels like you're actually growing with these characters, never connecting with them, so because of this, you never really care if any of them die.

Now, while some may tell you that that's the quintessential Shadowrun experience in Tabletop, it was only ever like that to help facilitate drop in play, letting people join a group for a single session before leaving and never being seen again. But this is a video game, and I've seen Tom's troll ass available for every goddamn run I've gone on in this game, so having the hireable mercs system feels like nothing more than a waste of good nuyen that could be spent on fun stuff, like cyberware, weapons, or spells.

Besides this, most of the story is a tad generic at best, and super weird and full of some of the weirdest parts of the Shadowrun lore. And, while the guys who've been playing the tabletop game for decades will know who Harlequin is, I don't know him from Tom, and at least Tom's been available to me the whole game. Good ol' dependable Tom.

Anyway, moving past these faults, the game is still quite fun(otherwise I wouldn't have finished it), with a plot that, while the majority of which you'll see coming from a mile away, the climax was definitely not what I, or most other people, expected to see, in a largely entertaining way.

However, the best piece of praise I can give Shadowrun Returns is that it allowed Shadowrun: Dragonfall and Shadowrun: Hong Kong to exist. And honestly? That's pretty good praise in my book.

A Note: This reveiw is a cleaned up and slightly expanded version of a review I previously posted on Steam.

Brütal Legend, a game so metal-iciously awesome that it gets to add a random umlaut to it's name just to show how fucking Brütal it is.

Now, Brütal Legend(yes, I will add the umlaut to it's name every time it's mentioned, it's FUCKING. METAL.) is an interesting game. While at first you might believe the game to be a pure third person hack-n-slash romp through the world of every heavy metal record cover combined, it's actually a third person hack-n-slash that's been fused together with a real time strategy game that takes you through the world of every heavy metal record cover combined. I know, I was a surprised too. Now, while this may seem off-putting at first, it isn't actually too hard. There's a lot of streamlining of the strategy elements to make it easier to control for people using a controller, so there's not as much need to worry about all the RTS stuff like Actions Per Minute and what have you (in fact, I personally recommend using a controller, for an element I shall mention later).

The story is fairly simple, and yet heavy metal to it's core. The main character, Eddie Riggs(voiced by the always amazing Jack Black) is a professional roadie who, due to the incompetence of the band he works for, ends up experiencing a work place accident that transports him to The Brütal Land where heavy metal music is magic, and joins with a trio of human resistance fighters to help kickstart the heart of a rebellion against the ultimate oppressors of humanity. . . demons in church themed bondage. Kinky.

The cast is filled with rock legends, such as the already mentioned Jack Black, Fellow Tenacious D member Kyle Gass, Rob Halford of Judas Priest, Lemmy Kilmister(RIP) of Motörhead, Rita Ford of the Runaways, and last but certainly not least, Ozzy Motherfucking Osbourne. Besides the rock legends, there are a few notable actors who happen to not be musicians, including Richard Steven Horovitz(the voice of Rasputin Aquato from Double Fines previous game Psychonauts, and a mainstay voice actor for the company) and none other than Tim Curry voicing the main villain(more on the villain, and who was originally going to voice him, later)

Now, there are some negatives. The combat can feel a tad samey sometimes, if you're on the back foot in a battle it's sometimes just easier to restart the whole mission than keep trying(especially on the harder difficulties), the fact that your health isn't displayed and instead your screen goes red until you regen enough life is really annoying on harder difficulties, and the physics are pretty wonky sometimes cough coughLIONWHYTES HAIRcough cough but all in all the game ran rather smoothly for a game from 2009. No, my biggest problem is that, while the game is available for PC, it was very much not made with a keyboard and mouse in mind. I've played through the game three times, twice on normal and once on hard, with my first being on a controller, and my latter two playthroughs on normal and hard on mouse and keyboard(that poor cheap controller died because of Ornstein and Smough, the bastards). Having played it twice on mouse + keyboard, I can safely say it sapped the experience a bit. While you can rebind them, they're still not amazing in my opinion, and you're far better suited to a controller if you have one, especially for the magical guitar solos you can perform.

Speaking of magical guitar solo, did I mention there are magical guitar solos? Well there are, and they're awesome. From exploring the world, you'll gain riffs that do everything from buffing your troops, to summoning animals to fight alongside you, to melting fucking faces, to even summoning your hot rod, refered to as The Duece by the menu and riff title, and as The Druid Plow(excellent double entendre right there, I must say), playing these sick and delicious riffs is likely one of, if not the, most important thing you can do during a battle, especially on harder difficulties or in multiplayer.
Side note about the multiplayer, it's a lot of fun, just be aware that a lot of the people playing have been doing so for actual years. It's also where you have a chance of possibly playing against Tim Schafer(the founder of Double Fine) or at least someone who has. You'll even get an achievement!

The collectibles have a reason for existing, as collecting them will either give you new riffs for your guitar, increase your health, gives you access to the Motor Forge which lets you upgrade your car and your both your axes(literal and musical), and gives you new rock and metal songs for your radio, which are all excellent.

Finally, not a negative so much as a sad fact and realization. So, in mid-June of 2009, the original voice of Doviculas, the main villain, was recast to Tim Curry. At the time, it was stated by Double Fine that they felt "Tim Curry was a better fit for the character", while fans believed it was due to the original voice actor having a feud with Ozzy Osbourne. However, a few short month later, on November 25th that same year, the original voice actor announced that he was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and sadly died on May 16, 2010.

Who was the original voice actor for Doviculus? Well it was none other than Ronnie James Dio.

Now, I don't know if Dio dropped out of voicing the main villain because of his cancer or not, so at most this is an unconfirmed theory that seems to align fairly well with the facts.

Despite this sad thought, Brütal Legend is an absolutely fucking amazing game, that oozes with charm and heavy metal. If you want to have a headbanging good time, then there's only one game that can truly deliver, and it is Brütal.