Faustt
7 reviews liked by Faustt
Octopath Traveler
2018
Yasunori Nishiki deserves the sloppiest of kisses for composing this soundtrack, genuinely one of my favourites in a long time
The charm of chibi and this games HD-2D art style is something that'll never leave my body, despite the grinding nature and traversal of this game I still think it keeps itself at bay without hurting its core too much with how atmospheric it ends up being, specific ones like ‘An Ill Omen’ and thermions theme are fucking fantastic. id even go as far to describe its soundtrack as whimsical in a sense.
I feel as though the lack of intertwinement of the cast is the biggest missed potential of this game as a whole, its split into eight individual stories to branch out the combat and the travel banter is there attempt at closing the gap but it still feels missed.
The maturity and overall tone of Primrose’s story moved me the most out the bunch, its take on you having to fight Primrose’s version of her final obstacle and then the real obstacle is a very welcomed detail. Aside from that Therion and Olbersic’s stories were favourites and even characters who weren’t on screen all that much like Leon added alot to not just Tressa’s story but everything as a whole.
All in all it’s a welcomed experience, one that I pumped 150 hours into but something id say was worth my time. I’ve been told my main gripes with this story get improved upon in 2 so im genuinely excited to continue sometime later this year
“Where’s the nearest tavern!”
The charm of chibi and this games HD-2D art style is something that'll never leave my body, despite the grinding nature and traversal of this game I still think it keeps itself at bay without hurting its core too much with how atmospheric it ends up being, specific ones like ‘An Ill Omen’ and thermions theme are fucking fantastic. id even go as far to describe its soundtrack as whimsical in a sense.
I feel as though the lack of intertwinement of the cast is the biggest missed potential of this game as a whole, its split into eight individual stories to branch out the combat and the travel banter is there attempt at closing the gap but it still feels missed.
The maturity and overall tone of Primrose’s story moved me the most out the bunch, its take on you having to fight Primrose’s version of her final obstacle and then the real obstacle is a very welcomed detail. Aside from that Therion and Olbersic’s stories were favourites and even characters who weren’t on screen all that much like Leon added alot to not just Tressa’s story but everything as a whole.
All in all it’s a welcomed experience, one that I pumped 150 hours into but something id say was worth my time. I’ve been told my main gripes with this story get improved upon in 2 so im genuinely excited to continue sometime later this year
“Where’s the nearest tavern!”
Octopath Traveler II
2023
It's a rare and amazing sight to not only see a game come out with heavy, valid criticism, but to see that criticism be taken to heart into a brand new game that basically addresses everything. Octopath Traveler II is what I would consider the gold standard of sequels. It takes what worked in the first game and improved every issue it used to have. Now we have a game that is by far one of the greatest games I've ever played. This review will be different from the others I've made because there is so much I wanna talk about. Octopath 1 is one of my favorite games of all time and the sequel is even better. This review will not only talk about Octopath II but compare to the first game to see what was done better and differently.
Story/Writing:
This is the aspect of the first game that had the most criticism. While I enjoyed the stories in the first game, they all came down to very basic and standard plot beats. Alfyn wants to be be a traveling apothecary, Tressa wants to be a traveling merchant, Cyrus wants to gain more knowledge. There are more complex stories (Therion, Primrose), but people weren't a fan of how they were handled.
The second game, however, took the complexity of stories like Primrose, but put that for basically everyone outside of maybe Agnea. The writing got a major improvement as soon as you start it. Each chapter 1 hooks you from the moment it starts, to the point you aren't even sure which party you want to start with. I don't want to dive into spoilers much as this game is still very new, but if you played the game, you know how insane some of the stories are cough Osvald cough.
Once you beat all 8 stories, you will unlock one final story that interconnects everything and give a really satisfying conclusion. They NAILED the conclusion this time while in Octopath 1, it was just a glorified lore dump and boss rush with a really really tough final boss. Octopath II, instead, had a 2-3 hour journey that ends with another really really tough boss. It's absolutely perfect with how the game set it up. I'm amazed at how the devs made such an incredible and engaging story.
Gameplay:
The gameplay is largely the same between both games, but the second game adds some new bells and whistles to liven up the battles. New to this game is the latent gauge, which is a unique ability to each of the 8 characters. Hikari's latent gives him three unique moves that are very good damage dealers, same with Ochette's with the exception of one move that's just a buff, Osvald's raises the potency of his spells but it can only hit one enemy instead of all, Partitio's raises his BP to maximum, and so on. All the latent abilities are useful for something so you are bound to use all of them eventually.
This is also a good place to talk about the bosses. The bosses in this game are WAY better than the first entry. Not only do all of the bosses offer a unique challenge, you also have to come up with new strategies on the fly. And all of them are fun! ...Okay there is one bad boss but it's still easy to take down when you know what to do. The later bosses especially gave me some trouble that I did not have from the first game outside of the final boss. This game will either be very moderately challenging or ball-breaking in difficulty depending on your strategies, but it never feels unfair. I think Team Asano finally manages to perfect the balance they were trying to accomplish from the Bravely Default games and even the first Octopath.
There's also the secondary classes/advanced classes that add even more freshness to the battles. The new advanced classes in this game are somehow even more insanely broken than before but in the best way possible. When you get good setups going, you will be steamrolling through all the bosses. The combat is some of the best I've seen in an RPG and I can't fathom anyone disliking it.
Exploration:
Exploration is honestly the one thing I think was done better in Octopath 1. The dungeons were more expanded and they didn't show everything on the map. While in Octopath II, it's still fun exploring around, but it felt like they stripped back this aspect of the game to put more time into the other aspects. I'm perfectly fine with that as the exploration is still good and everything else was improved tenfold, but I wish it wasn't so easy to discover all the secondary classes and secret dungeons.
The map as well is a little more tedious to traverse compared to before. This is more of a nitpick as you can fast travel when you enter a new town, it can be a little frustrating trying to figure out where the boats are to cross to the opposite region.
Visuals:
What do I even say about this game's visuals? The first game looked absolutely beautiful, inventing the HD-2D style that we are seeing with Triangle Strategy, LIVE A LIVE, and other games, but Octopath II manages to take it to the next level. So many shots have become dynamic with lots of different angles during cutscenes and even during combat to give everything that extra kick it needed. I can only imagine the future of this style, but my monkey brain can't even fathom how it gets better from here.
Music:
Do I even have to say anything about the music? It's Yasunori Nishiki for Christ's sake. I have no clue how this man managed to not only make a soundtrack on par with the first game, but to also possibly surpass it. The night themes that were added give this world a whole new air of life that was not present before. Hat's off to Yasunori Nishiki for making another outstanding score (also please release the ost on Spotify please please please).
Conclusion:
Overall, Octopath Traveler II is a step up from the first game in almost every single way. It's astounding that we have to praise the devs for simply listening to the criticisms, but that really is something that deserves praise. Not many studios and devs listen to the fans, or even listen to the proper criticism, but Team Asano is hellbent on perfecting their craft and I believe this is as perfect as it can get.
If you were not a fan of Octopath 1, even with the combat in mind, it's hard to say if you'd enjoy this one. As someone who stuck through the issues, I couldn't ask for a better title, but if you are still unsure, I can't say if you'd enjoy it. That's something you'd have to risk but I still 100% recommend it. Whether it's a new Octopath game or a brand new IP, I will be there day 1 for whatever Team Asano has in store. They've earned a lifelong and loyal fan.
Story/Writing:
This is the aspect of the first game that had the most criticism. While I enjoyed the stories in the first game, they all came down to very basic and standard plot beats. Alfyn wants to be be a traveling apothecary, Tressa wants to be a traveling merchant, Cyrus wants to gain more knowledge. There are more complex stories (Therion, Primrose), but people weren't a fan of how they were handled.
The second game, however, took the complexity of stories like Primrose, but put that for basically everyone outside of maybe Agnea. The writing got a major improvement as soon as you start it. Each chapter 1 hooks you from the moment it starts, to the point you aren't even sure which party you want to start with. I don't want to dive into spoilers much as this game is still very new, but if you played the game, you know how insane some of the stories are cough Osvald cough.
Once you beat all 8 stories, you will unlock one final story that interconnects everything and give a really satisfying conclusion. They NAILED the conclusion this time while in Octopath 1, it was just a glorified lore dump and boss rush with a really really tough final boss. Octopath II, instead, had a 2-3 hour journey that ends with another really really tough boss. It's absolutely perfect with how the game set it up. I'm amazed at how the devs made such an incredible and engaging story.
Gameplay:
The gameplay is largely the same between both games, but the second game adds some new bells and whistles to liven up the battles. New to this game is the latent gauge, which is a unique ability to each of the 8 characters. Hikari's latent gives him three unique moves that are very good damage dealers, same with Ochette's with the exception of one move that's just a buff, Osvald's raises the potency of his spells but it can only hit one enemy instead of all, Partitio's raises his BP to maximum, and so on. All the latent abilities are useful for something so you are bound to use all of them eventually.
This is also a good place to talk about the bosses. The bosses in this game are WAY better than the first entry. Not only do all of the bosses offer a unique challenge, you also have to come up with new strategies on the fly. And all of them are fun! ...Okay there is one bad boss but it's still easy to take down when you know what to do. The later bosses especially gave me some trouble that I did not have from the first game outside of the final boss. This game will either be very moderately challenging or ball-breaking in difficulty depending on your strategies, but it never feels unfair. I think Team Asano finally manages to perfect the balance they were trying to accomplish from the Bravely Default games and even the first Octopath.
There's also the secondary classes/advanced classes that add even more freshness to the battles. The new advanced classes in this game are somehow even more insanely broken than before but in the best way possible. When you get good setups going, you will be steamrolling through all the bosses. The combat is some of the best I've seen in an RPG and I can't fathom anyone disliking it.
Exploration:
Exploration is honestly the one thing I think was done better in Octopath 1. The dungeons were more expanded and they didn't show everything on the map. While in Octopath II, it's still fun exploring around, but it felt like they stripped back this aspect of the game to put more time into the other aspects. I'm perfectly fine with that as the exploration is still good and everything else was improved tenfold, but I wish it wasn't so easy to discover all the secondary classes and secret dungeons.
The map as well is a little more tedious to traverse compared to before. This is more of a nitpick as you can fast travel when you enter a new town, it can be a little frustrating trying to figure out where the boats are to cross to the opposite region.
Visuals:
What do I even say about this game's visuals? The first game looked absolutely beautiful, inventing the HD-2D style that we are seeing with Triangle Strategy, LIVE A LIVE, and other games, but Octopath II manages to take it to the next level. So many shots have become dynamic with lots of different angles during cutscenes and even during combat to give everything that extra kick it needed. I can only imagine the future of this style, but my monkey brain can't even fathom how it gets better from here.
Music:
Do I even have to say anything about the music? It's Yasunori Nishiki for Christ's sake. I have no clue how this man managed to not only make a soundtrack on par with the first game, but to also possibly surpass it. The night themes that were added give this world a whole new air of life that was not present before. Hat's off to Yasunori Nishiki for making another outstanding score (also please release the ost on Spotify please please please).
Conclusion:
Overall, Octopath Traveler II is a step up from the first game in almost every single way. It's astounding that we have to praise the devs for simply listening to the criticisms, but that really is something that deserves praise. Not many studios and devs listen to the fans, or even listen to the proper criticism, but Team Asano is hellbent on perfecting their craft and I believe this is as perfect as it can get.
If you were not a fan of Octopath 1, even with the combat in mind, it's hard to say if you'd enjoy this one. As someone who stuck through the issues, I couldn't ask for a better title, but if you are still unsure, I can't say if you'd enjoy it. That's something you'd have to risk but I still 100% recommend it. Whether it's a new Octopath game or a brand new IP, I will be there day 1 for whatever Team Asano has in store. They've earned a lifelong and loyal fan.
BLACK SOULS
TBD
KINO SOULS!!!!
The other day I heard someone describe how Devil May Cry 4's ending became a really somber moment for them. This confused me but after thinking about it some more I understand it if you were a DMC fan. You had to be disappointed by DMC4's lackluster quality, and whatever the hell DmC was, as a franchise you loved was put on ice. That "will we meet again?" at the end of DMC4 really becomes something more as I keep thinking about it. The feeling of uncertainty if there will ever be a new entry again, and if it will even be good.
11 years later, and they delivered.
That's what's always going to be the most amazing thing about DMC5. That it is Devil May Cry 5. A new entry that's as Devil May Cry as they come. It picks up on the pieces from DMC4 and builds upon everything to deliver such an enjoyable and unforgettable experience that left me smiling.
Nero is back and he continues his arc from 4. His gameplay has been slightly retooled as in place of Devil Bringer he's given Devil Breakers which adds a pretty big amount of freedom in combat. I kept finding myself experimenting with new Devil Breakers as much as I could.
Dante...hnghrgh~
He's nothing to scoff at either. Man he plays so well in this game that I squealed like a twink bouncing on dick at his gameplay. If I'm honest Dante can be very overwhelming due to the fact that you're given a lot of options regarding how you want to play it but once you get it down he's a god.
There's also the newcomer, V. I didn't know if I'd like V, but after beating the game I can say I really enjoyed his characterization as well as his gameplay. When it comes to my group of friends I'm in a very weird position with V as I neither wholly love him nor do I find his sections boring. It really is commendable that V is a very large departure from the usual Devil May Cry gameplay yet he still ends up being a great deal of fun. Although it really should be addressed that on a whole, V is pretty easy. The problem with V just comes down to there being a lack of skill when it comes to his sections at his part as without even trying I was hitting SS ranks easily. I'm not gonna say that a character of his playstyle doesn't belong in DMC as that'd just be wrong, but I would really love to see if they ever build on a character that plays like him if they ever make a DMC6.
Level Design is where I'm left confused on the game. The levels are indeed fun but something I realised very early on us that a large portion of them are missing the puzzles you'd find in earlier DMC games. Do I like this change? Well I can't say I dislike it but I do think it can take out the uniqueness of levels, although I can't say I much enjoyed the puzzles I encountered in DMC3 and 4 that much. If I had to guess I think this was done so the game would be accessible to newer players
In my DMC4 review, I talked about how that game lacked a strong atmosphere of earlier DMC titled and has aged the worst graphically in my eyes. DMC5 fixed this for the most part, the levels really are pretty immersive to the point where I could almost feel the cool morning breeze of Redgrave City, but I can't say it's as strong as earlier DMC titles. Also it remain to be seen if this game ages graphically as much as DMC4, but I don't think it will if I'm honest.
Did I talk about the story yet? The story really rocks I can't lie. Narratives haven't been this franchise's strong suit but I will admit I never minded that as it really was apparent that it was not one of the core focuses of the franchise. DMC3 relies on a lot of subtext and symbolism for its narrative which I've spent a lot of time analysing but I can't say I was ever moved by it or fell in love with it but I can appreciate what was there. DMC5 on the surface isn't much different as its still a pretty fun action story yet there's a greater deal placed on the narrative this time, and while yes the later section can feel a bit contrived I really do like it. I love the fact that they didn't toss DMC4 aside and continued Nero's story. I love the fact that the game acknowledges the series history to the point where it's pulling in references from the DMC anime and even fucking DmC of all things. What a wild ride.
Oh yeah, this is the Special Edition so there's also Vergil's campaign which I played through. Gameplay wise, Vergil's very fun but he's also pretty easy, not as easy as V I'd argue but I don't really mind it as his campaign is something you play after the game has finished and I don't think it's a big deal to have an OP character as post game content. Something I should address about Vergil. He's hot as fuck. I've battled with the feeling of whether I want to FUCK Vergil or be FUCKED by him. Knowing Vergil you'd assume that he would refuse to bottom and obviously choose the latter, right? Well, I disagree. Reader, have you ever heard of the term "power bottom"? I heard it the other day. I don't fucking know what it means but I assume it has something to do with sex, and it has power in the name. Power... Vergil loves power...yes please bust this twink down NOW.
Oh yeah also Mission 20 as Vergil is the coolest thing ever lmao
There's a bunch of shit that I didn't get the chance to talk but I don't wanna drag out this review for much longer. I really do feel confident that this might be the greatest action game ever made and I tip my hat to Itsuno and his team for giving it their all. Playing this game made me wanna replay the franchise all over again and I'm sure I'll revisit this game countless time over the years, slowly trying to master it to the best of my ability. Until then, goodbye Devil May Cry. It's been a blast.
11 years later, and they delivered.
That's what's always going to be the most amazing thing about DMC5. That it is Devil May Cry 5. A new entry that's as Devil May Cry as they come. It picks up on the pieces from DMC4 and builds upon everything to deliver such an enjoyable and unforgettable experience that left me smiling.
Nero is back and he continues his arc from 4. His gameplay has been slightly retooled as in place of Devil Bringer he's given Devil Breakers which adds a pretty big amount of freedom in combat. I kept finding myself experimenting with new Devil Breakers as much as I could.
Dante...hnghrgh~
He's nothing to scoff at either. Man he plays so well in this game that I squealed like a twink bouncing on dick at his gameplay. If I'm honest Dante can be very overwhelming due to the fact that you're given a lot of options regarding how you want to play it but once you get it down he's a god.
There's also the newcomer, V. I didn't know if I'd like V, but after beating the game I can say I really enjoyed his characterization as well as his gameplay. When it comes to my group of friends I'm in a very weird position with V as I neither wholly love him nor do I find his sections boring. It really is commendable that V is a very large departure from the usual Devil May Cry gameplay yet he still ends up being a great deal of fun. Although it really should be addressed that on a whole, V is pretty easy. The problem with V just comes down to there being a lack of skill when it comes to his sections at his part as without even trying I was hitting SS ranks easily. I'm not gonna say that a character of his playstyle doesn't belong in DMC as that'd just be wrong, but I would really love to see if they ever build on a character that plays like him if they ever make a DMC6.
Level Design is where I'm left confused on the game. The levels are indeed fun but something I realised very early on us that a large portion of them are missing the puzzles you'd find in earlier DMC games. Do I like this change? Well I can't say I dislike it but I do think it can take out the uniqueness of levels, although I can't say I much enjoyed the puzzles I encountered in DMC3 and 4 that much. If I had to guess I think this was done so the game would be accessible to newer players
In my DMC4 review, I talked about how that game lacked a strong atmosphere of earlier DMC titled and has aged the worst graphically in my eyes. DMC5 fixed this for the most part, the levels really are pretty immersive to the point where I could almost feel the cool morning breeze of Redgrave City, but I can't say it's as strong as earlier DMC titles. Also it remain to be seen if this game ages graphically as much as DMC4, but I don't think it will if I'm honest.
Did I talk about the story yet? The story really rocks I can't lie. Narratives haven't been this franchise's strong suit but I will admit I never minded that as it really was apparent that it was not one of the core focuses of the franchise. DMC3 relies on a lot of subtext and symbolism for its narrative which I've spent a lot of time analysing but I can't say I was ever moved by it or fell in love with it but I can appreciate what was there. DMC5 on the surface isn't much different as its still a pretty fun action story yet there's a greater deal placed on the narrative this time, and while yes the later section can feel a bit contrived I really do like it. I love the fact that they didn't toss DMC4 aside and continued Nero's story. I love the fact that the game acknowledges the series history to the point where it's pulling in references from the DMC anime and even fucking DmC of all things. What a wild ride.
Oh yeah, this is the Special Edition so there's also Vergil's campaign which I played through. Gameplay wise, Vergil's very fun but he's also pretty easy, not as easy as V I'd argue but I don't really mind it as his campaign is something you play after the game has finished and I don't think it's a big deal to have an OP character as post game content. Something I should address about Vergil. He's hot as fuck. I've battled with the feeling of whether I want to FUCK Vergil or be FUCKED by him. Knowing Vergil you'd assume that he would refuse to bottom and obviously choose the latter, right? Well, I disagree. Reader, have you ever heard of the term "power bottom"? I heard it the other day. I don't fucking know what it means but I assume it has something to do with sex, and it has power in the name. Power... Vergil loves power...yes please bust this twink down NOW.
Oh yeah also Mission 20 as Vergil is the coolest thing ever lmao
There's a bunch of shit that I didn't get the chance to talk but I don't wanna drag out this review for much longer. I really do feel confident that this might be the greatest action game ever made and I tip my hat to Itsuno and his team for giving it their all. Playing this game made me wanna replay the franchise all over again and I'm sure I'll revisit this game countless time over the years, slowly trying to master it to the best of my ability. Until then, goodbye Devil May Cry. It's been a blast.
"I'm going to fucking kill myself" were the words I found myself uttering over and over while I played this game.
Coming off of the third game you'd expect Devil May Cry 4 to be much better than it is. Enter NERO. Moody and arrogant, in essence he is HIM. You know I had a really funny joke regarding Nero but it's too funny and I'm absurdly proud of it so I'm going to save it for later and don't you fucking dare say that it probably wasn't gonna be funny it absolutely fucking is everyone I've told it to has laughed at it fuck you. Anyways this kind of thing is exactly what DMC4, it set ups tons of things which make you feel like this will be "peak peak goatly goat raw fire", you kill demons in the first level that banger of a soundtrack comes in and you are getting into the grove of playing as Nero and just when you've had enough of the foreplay the game rips your nuts apart by having dogshit level design and enemies which range from mediocre to annoying
Devil Bringer is really something I felt was missing in DMC3, a way to bridge the gap between you and the enemies outside of mashing Stinger. The game is smart with it as almost every enemy in the game feels like they're designed with Devil Bringer in mind, right down to the bosses. Speaking of which, how are they bosses? Well they start off all right and it all goes downhill when I got to Mission 6 and went "oh my god this is so dogshit". Agnus can SHOVE those fucking swords UP HIS ASSHOLE and fiddle them around like a fucking DILDO and I hope that he doesn't have a G-spot cause my god that fucking FUCK does not deserve any form of pleasure. Then in the last 8 missions they start fucking reusing bosses like crazy to the point where the second final/final boss (depending on who you ask) is just a fucking beefier version of a boss you've fought before and they made said boss even MORE dog shit fuck your fucking BUBBLES fuck YOU.
Right when you get the hang of Nero the game throws you a curve ball and gives you control of Dante and baby? This was the best Dante yet, gameplay wise. "YEEESSSS BRO YESS 😍🥰🥵" was my reaction once I remembered how to play Dante. I should add that I didn't buy this game myself to play it but got it from a friend, and I noticed that she had bought souls with real world money, so I had an abundance of souls at the beginning which I spent into upgrading myself. In hindsight I'm kind of grateful for it as it gave me the chance to get my bearings in the game without being overwhelmed but when I got to Dante's section I was running low on souls. Fuck you Angela could you have seriously not bought MORE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE LAST FUCKING HALF OF THE GAME?? PLAY IT NORMALLY? Fuck you it costs like 2 fucking pounds, are you really THAT broke???? And don't you dare act like you don't have 2 pounds, I am the poor broke boy from a third world country, NOT you. So please sell that fucking Nando's gift card already and give ME the fucking money you are fucking RUINING my gaming experience.
Remember how I said how each enemy was designed with Nero in mind? Well that comes back to bite this game in the ass when you play as Dante cause it's something that becomes really apparent especially when you start to fight old bosses again. Don't worry my DEAR reader, I didn't do a gamer rage moment and throw my controller. No, I'm a civilised man. I just beat the shit out of cardboard boxes like a REAL man cause this game is for REAL men like me and nobody should dare challenge me on that fucking front.
Level design and atmosphere is something that's also worse in this game. As bad as DMC2 is I will at least admit that due to the fact it reused a lot of shit from DMC1, it remained just as atmospheric. DMC3 was also really atmospheric! And I know DMC4 came out during the height of ugly brown Unreal Engine 3 games but goddamn does this game not hold up as well graphically as 1 and 3. I could really go on about how shit some of the puzzles in these levels are like holy fuck DICE WOO DICE it's fucking YAHTZEE ALL OVER AGAIN but I feel like I'd add nothing to the discussion except dry humping a limp corpse while I go "what's up my fellow Devil May Cry-ers I am also on the team".
Now we come to the story and there's really nothing much to be said. I don't CARE about old dude, I DON'T care about evil scientist, I don't CARE about the fact the girl who has 3 minutes of screentime. Nero aside, all new characters are a bust and even old characters take a hit. Still, I fucking laughed out loud when Dante used Royal Guard in his boss fight. Although, there is one new character I'd like to talk about...Gloria.
Let me start off by saying that, as you may have surmised, me and "sex" don't have the best of relations. I never had sex-ed in school, I didn't know what a "clit" was until I was 16, when a girl said that she'd make me her bitch I just replied with "woah cool", when a girl confessed to ME, I FUCKING RAN AWAY. So to have Gloria pop up and have my mind for the first time in a while go "Hmm while I usually don't find characters attractive this Gloria person is very pretty I hope she's good" is no easy feat. "Is this it?" I wondered. Like Nero, did I finally awaken a demon inside me, but instead of being a cool fucking arm that can grab things, the demon inside me is called "sex drive". Maybe I could finally give this sex thing a shot, maybe I don't have to be scared of anything sexual, even while alone, anymore. In that moment, I got Nero, I became him. I looked at my hand like it was Devil Bringer as I wondered if I should give this "jacking off thing" a go. Is this a new chapter for me, Quade Pad? Did Devil May Cry 4...change my life? As I slowly came to terms with this new side of me, it all came crashing down via the fucking costume select screen where I got spoiled on Gloria's true identity and oh my god jokes aside I laughed so fucking hard. Which made me realise a new truth.
"White women are mid"
Thank you Devil May Cry 4, for opening my eyes and changing my life.
The final mission pretty much cemented my view of the game. Truth be told I'm going through a rough patch in my life at the moment, and during these trying times where I've distanced myself as much as possible from everyone who loves me, I'm playing one of the worst boss fights I've ever seen in a video game. FUCK that boss FUCK you FUCK Dante FUCK old men FUCK statues FUCK everything FUCK me and Dante WILL WE FUCK AGAIN?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to kill myself and this review is my last mark on this world. Also it's my birthday! Please say "Happy Birthday Quade!" in the replies. It'd really make me feel better! Cheers and god bless Devil May Cry. I will see you next time.
Coming off of the third game you'd expect Devil May Cry 4 to be much better than it is. Enter NERO. Moody and arrogant, in essence he is HIM. You know I had a really funny joke regarding Nero but it's too funny and I'm absurdly proud of it so I'm going to save it for later and don't you fucking dare say that it probably wasn't gonna be funny it absolutely fucking is everyone I've told it to has laughed at it fuck you. Anyways this kind of thing is exactly what DMC4, it set ups tons of things which make you feel like this will be "peak peak goatly goat raw fire", you kill demons in the first level that banger of a soundtrack comes in and you are getting into the grove of playing as Nero and just when you've had enough of the foreplay the game rips your nuts apart by having dogshit level design and enemies which range from mediocre to annoying
Devil Bringer is really something I felt was missing in DMC3, a way to bridge the gap between you and the enemies outside of mashing Stinger. The game is smart with it as almost every enemy in the game feels like they're designed with Devil Bringer in mind, right down to the bosses. Speaking of which, how are they bosses? Well they start off all right and it all goes downhill when I got to Mission 6 and went "oh my god this is so dogshit". Agnus can SHOVE those fucking swords UP HIS ASSHOLE and fiddle them around like a fucking DILDO and I hope that he doesn't have a G-spot cause my god that fucking FUCK does not deserve any form of pleasure. Then in the last 8 missions they start fucking reusing bosses like crazy to the point where the second final/final boss (depending on who you ask) is just a fucking beefier version of a boss you've fought before and they made said boss even MORE dog shit fuck your fucking BUBBLES fuck YOU.
Right when you get the hang of Nero the game throws you a curve ball and gives you control of Dante and baby? This was the best Dante yet, gameplay wise. "YEEESSSS BRO YESS 😍🥰🥵" was my reaction once I remembered how to play Dante. I should add that I didn't buy this game myself to play it but got it from a friend, and I noticed that she had bought souls with real world money, so I had an abundance of souls at the beginning which I spent into upgrading myself. In hindsight I'm kind of grateful for it as it gave me the chance to get my bearings in the game without being overwhelmed but when I got to Dante's section I was running low on souls. Fuck you Angela could you have seriously not bought MORE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE LAST FUCKING HALF OF THE GAME?? PLAY IT NORMALLY? Fuck you it costs like 2 fucking pounds, are you really THAT broke???? And don't you dare act like you don't have 2 pounds, I am the poor broke boy from a third world country, NOT you. So please sell that fucking Nando's gift card already and give ME the fucking money you are fucking RUINING my gaming experience.
Remember how I said how each enemy was designed with Nero in mind? Well that comes back to bite this game in the ass when you play as Dante cause it's something that becomes really apparent especially when you start to fight old bosses again. Don't worry my DEAR reader, I didn't do a gamer rage moment and throw my controller. No, I'm a civilised man. I just beat the shit out of cardboard boxes like a REAL man cause this game is for REAL men like me and nobody should dare challenge me on that fucking front.
Level design and atmosphere is something that's also worse in this game. As bad as DMC2 is I will at least admit that due to the fact it reused a lot of shit from DMC1, it remained just as atmospheric. DMC3 was also really atmospheric! And I know DMC4 came out during the height of ugly brown Unreal Engine 3 games but goddamn does this game not hold up as well graphically as 1 and 3. I could really go on about how shit some of the puzzles in these levels are like holy fuck DICE WOO DICE it's fucking YAHTZEE ALL OVER AGAIN but I feel like I'd add nothing to the discussion except dry humping a limp corpse while I go "what's up my fellow Devil May Cry-ers I am also on the team".
Now we come to the story and there's really nothing much to be said. I don't CARE about old dude, I DON'T care about evil scientist, I don't CARE about the fact the girl who has 3 minutes of screentime. Nero aside, all new characters are a bust and even old characters take a hit. Still, I fucking laughed out loud when Dante used Royal Guard in his boss fight. Although, there is one new character I'd like to talk about...Gloria.
Let me start off by saying that, as you may have surmised, me and "sex" don't have the best of relations. I never had sex-ed in school, I didn't know what a "clit" was until I was 16, when a girl said that she'd make me her bitch I just replied with "woah cool", when a girl confessed to ME, I FUCKING RAN AWAY. So to have Gloria pop up and have my mind for the first time in a while go "Hmm while I usually don't find characters attractive this Gloria person is very pretty I hope she's good" is no easy feat. "Is this it?" I wondered. Like Nero, did I finally awaken a demon inside me, but instead of being a cool fucking arm that can grab things, the demon inside me is called "sex drive". Maybe I could finally give this sex thing a shot, maybe I don't have to be scared of anything sexual, even while alone, anymore. In that moment, I got Nero, I became him. I looked at my hand like it was Devil Bringer as I wondered if I should give this "jacking off thing" a go. Is this a new chapter for me, Quade Pad? Did Devil May Cry 4...change my life? As I slowly came to terms with this new side of me, it all came crashing down via the fucking costume select screen where I got spoiled on Gloria's true identity and oh my god jokes aside I laughed so fucking hard. Which made me realise a new truth.
"White women are mid"
Thank you Devil May Cry 4, for opening my eyes and changing my life.
The final mission pretty much cemented my view of the game. Truth be told I'm going through a rough patch in my life at the moment, and during these trying times where I've distanced myself as much as possible from everyone who loves me, I'm playing one of the worst boss fights I've ever seen in a video game. FUCK that boss FUCK you FUCK Dante FUCK old men FUCK statues FUCK everything FUCK me and Dante WILL WE FUCK AGAIN?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to kill myself and this review is my last mark on this world. Also it's my birthday! Please say "Happy Birthday Quade!" in the replies. It'd really make me feel better! Cheers and god bless Devil May Cry. I will see you next time.
Asura's Wrath
2012
I have always been interested in trying out this game as it always leaving the impression of being Metal Gear Rising but with planet sized dude gods doing planet sized dude godhood against one another, but little did I know I was downloading the worst excuse of a 'game' I would ever experience.
One hour of my life never ever felt this wasted:
-Visuals? More like epilepsy generator. All over the place and things are barely visible
-Writing? Koren MMORPG-tier at the very best
-Combat? Its like playing 'try finding a dumber and the less satisfying masher challenge' on a very hard mode
-Level design? Oh well you get only one small room in some of the chapters, literally non-existant
-Pacing? Only thing that actually has speed that of a god
-Ending? Well now we need to buy that one DLC
-Gameplay? Perma QTE... but here is the catch, in every other alternative QTEs exist to give cutscenes some bits of interactivity to make the experience tad bit more immersive... but here? It is literally non-stop cutscenes that are not even being affected by your inputs (neither right or wrong) and just exist to give out the scores nobody cares about
-Cover? Sick.
One hour of my life never ever felt this wasted:
-Visuals? More like epilepsy generator. All over the place and things are barely visible
-Writing? Koren MMORPG-tier at the very best
-Combat? Its like playing 'try finding a dumber and the less satisfying masher challenge' on a very hard mode
-Level design? Oh well you get only one small room in some of the chapters, literally non-existant
-Pacing? Only thing that actually has speed that of a god
-Ending? Well now we need to buy that one DLC
-Gameplay? Perma QTE... but here is the catch, in every other alternative QTEs exist to give cutscenes some bits of interactivity to make the experience tad bit more immersive... but here? It is literally non-stop cutscenes that are not even being affected by your inputs (neither right or wrong) and just exist to give out the scores nobody cares about
-Cover? Sick.
Boy, do I love listening to the same three terrible soundtracks for hundreds of hours.
Do you enjoy aimless stories?
Do you enjoy pointless and over-the-top rape scenes in every second chapter?
Do you enjoy characters changing their mind after listening to redditor villains?
Do you enjoy endless exposition about irrelevant shit?
Do you enjoy your cast being full of flat characters?
Do you enjoy neverending lectures regarding swordsmanship in the middle of a fight?
Do you enjoy said fights being decided by random asspulls?
Do you enjoy every single chapter ending in the same identical manner?
Do you enjoy small screen resolution?
Do you enjoy reading from even smaller text box?
Do you enjoy your main characters falling in love with little girls at first sight?
Do you enjoy little schoogirls beating elite soldiers to death with bare hands?
Do you enjoy edgelords perpetually wallowing in self-hatred?
Do you enjoy forcefully thrown flashbacks that add virtually nothing?
Do you enjoy hyper generic and tone deaf vocal tracks?
Do you enjoy dilemma being resolved with cop-outs?
Do you enjoy random CGs and backgrounds that tell you nothing aside from people having figures?
Do you enjoy 'caricature villain of the chapter' plot structure?
Do you enjoy every single sorry excuse of an antagonist dying immediately after they do something minor?
Do you enjoy stories about heroism where there is not a single character representing the population?
Do you enjoy adult trying to act like an animal by writing a poem while fucking a schoolgirl?
Do you enjoy juxtaposition being presented as some deep argument?
Do you enjoy themes set-up in initial chapters never being brought up ever again?
Do you enjoy non-main characters looking and being bland?
Do you enjoy 'I am not like other girls' route system?
Do you enjoy choice system that does opposite of what is generally done and considers itself as subversion?
Do you enjoy said 'subversion' (of harem tropes, allegedly by some readers) having literally zero cohesion and correlation to this story's narrative?
Do you enjoy climax of your choices being off-screened and bearing zero consequences?
Do you enjoy a curse that kills closed ones attached to a person who does not know a single person and has no attachments whatsoever?
Do you enjoy plot randomly making up jobbers just for MC to bypass the curse?
Do you enjoy plot for some reason demanding from the cursed to kill people he just met instead of you know, people he has been chilling with at government?
Do you enjoy relatively grounded and self-serious stories snowballing into Dragon Ball?
Do you enjoy routes being heroine centric and abandoning literally everyone else?
Do you enjoy sprites that do not ever move?
Do you enjoy lack of dynamics and dialogue not having a semblance of interesting or/and likable conversations and banter?
Do you enjoy 3D toy transformations?
Do you enjoy repetitive and flashy closed-up special effects?
Then this product is for YOU!
(Special cheers to people who enjoy it for being funny rather than considering it as something 2deep4u and well-written, though)
Do you enjoy aimless stories?
Do you enjoy pointless and over-the-top rape scenes in every second chapter?
Do you enjoy characters changing their mind after listening to redditor villains?
Do you enjoy endless exposition about irrelevant shit?
Do you enjoy your cast being full of flat characters?
Do you enjoy neverending lectures regarding swordsmanship in the middle of a fight?
Do you enjoy said fights being decided by random asspulls?
Do you enjoy every single chapter ending in the same identical manner?
Do you enjoy small screen resolution?
Do you enjoy reading from even smaller text box?
Do you enjoy your main characters falling in love with little girls at first sight?
Do you enjoy little schoogirls beating elite soldiers to death with bare hands?
Do you enjoy edgelords perpetually wallowing in self-hatred?
Do you enjoy forcefully thrown flashbacks that add virtually nothing?
Do you enjoy hyper generic and tone deaf vocal tracks?
Do you enjoy dilemma being resolved with cop-outs?
Do you enjoy random CGs and backgrounds that tell you nothing aside from people having figures?
Do you enjoy 'caricature villain of the chapter' plot structure?
Do you enjoy every single sorry excuse of an antagonist dying immediately after they do something minor?
Do you enjoy stories about heroism where there is not a single character representing the population?
Do you enjoy adult trying to act like an animal by writing a poem while fucking a schoolgirl?
Do you enjoy juxtaposition being presented as some deep argument?
Do you enjoy themes set-up in initial chapters never being brought up ever again?
Do you enjoy non-main characters looking and being bland?
Do you enjoy 'I am not like other girls' route system?
Do you enjoy choice system that does opposite of what is generally done and considers itself as subversion?
Do you enjoy said 'subversion' (of harem tropes, allegedly by some readers) having literally zero cohesion and correlation to this story's narrative?
Do you enjoy climax of your choices being off-screened and bearing zero consequences?
Do you enjoy a curse that kills closed ones attached to a person who does not know a single person and has no attachments whatsoever?
Do you enjoy plot randomly making up jobbers just for MC to bypass the curse?
Do you enjoy plot for some reason demanding from the cursed to kill people he just met instead of you know, people he has been chilling with at government?
Do you enjoy relatively grounded and self-serious stories snowballing into Dragon Ball?
Do you enjoy routes being heroine centric and abandoning literally everyone else?
Do you enjoy sprites that do not ever move?
Do you enjoy lack of dynamics and dialogue not having a semblance of interesting or/and likable conversations and banter?
Do you enjoy 3D toy transformations?
Do you enjoy repetitive and flashy closed-up special effects?
Then this product is for YOU!
(Special cheers to people who enjoy it for being funny rather than considering it as something 2deep4u and well-written, though)