19 reviews liked by Forgeyboi
Overwatch
2016
I played overwatch consistently for at least 2 years, theres a lot i adore about it still, it has some of the best sound design and character design in any game ever, its deeply satisfying and strategic, but after so many changes it not only became unrecognizable but unplayable, Bastion is my fav character in the game but you cant even play him anymore because they set up this bullshit queue system where you have to do so by role instead of the simple mechanics before, I understand this system for competitive play but its actually braindead to implement it in QP, made every wait between matches 10 mins even if you stick to support which always remains the quickest queue, additionally its constant balancing issues which have always plagued it and its complete stall on interesting content both in and out of the game really fucked it, sad :(
Blair Witch
2019
This review contains spoilers
if i had a euro for each time a Bloober Team game ended by saying that victims of trauma can never recover, are fundamentally, irreparably broken, and are better off killing themselves to make sure they don't hurt others around them i'd have two euros which isn't a lot but it is weird that it happened twice
Hentai Heroes
2016
It’s basically a panchiko gacha game that you only play to jerk off to naked women.
In a way it’s genius. In order to get more women, they make sure you pay real money to get materials that the game makes sure you run out of in game currency. Sure this is nothing new, but most of those at least try to give you enough to get a good head start and aren’t nearly as sleazy.
This though is just garbage. At least the women are hot but the fact that it is impossible to get many of them without spending energy or gambling for them.
When it isn’t a badly written story mode that is just you tapping one button to progress or you spending cash to upgrade or aquire women, you do fights where you put your harem against other people’s harems. The problem here is that there is no combat system. You are just watching png images clashing against each other and hoping you win.
There is a gay version of this, but it’s literally the same but with the characters being men and it being even more costly to do anything.
If you are looking for jerk off material, look elsewhere. Don’t give these games any money or spend your time on it.
In a way it’s genius. In order to get more women, they make sure you pay real money to get materials that the game makes sure you run out of in game currency. Sure this is nothing new, but most of those at least try to give you enough to get a good head start and aren’t nearly as sleazy.
This though is just garbage. At least the women are hot but the fact that it is impossible to get many of them without spending energy or gambling for them.
When it isn’t a badly written story mode that is just you tapping one button to progress or you spending cash to upgrade or aquire women, you do fights where you put your harem against other people’s harems. The problem here is that there is no combat system. You are just watching png images clashing against each other and hoping you win.
There is a gay version of this, but it’s literally the same but with the characters being men and it being even more costly to do anything.
If you are looking for jerk off material, look elsewhere. Don’t give these games any money or spend your time on it.
If it wasn’t for the really bad story mode, I’d argue that this is my favorite Mortal Kombat game that I’ve played.
Sure it’s not great that you can’t use some moves without that silly combat system, but god damn is it a blast. The designs for all the characters looks really cool and I’ve enjoyed playing with them.
My favorites in paticular are Mileena, Noob Saibot, and Spawn. Mileena in particular was the main reason why I got this game. She’s not the most powerful or even best character in the game, but she is the one that I have the most fun with.
It’s just a shame that the story mode is not good. Not completely awful, but it is still filled with inconsistently written characters, continuity being thrown out of the window in favor of laughable plot points, lazy tropes and poor use of the timeline merging.
However, I just focus on what matters the most which is fighting AI or other players. In that aspect, MK11 is awesome. I just wish I could say it was perfect.
Sure it’s not great that you can’t use some moves without that silly combat system, but god damn is it a blast. The designs for all the characters looks really cool and I’ve enjoyed playing with them.
My favorites in paticular are Mileena, Noob Saibot, and Spawn. Mileena in particular was the main reason why I got this game. She’s not the most powerful or even best character in the game, but she is the one that I have the most fun with.
It’s just a shame that the story mode is not good. Not completely awful, but it is still filled with inconsistently written characters, continuity being thrown out of the window in favor of laughable plot points, lazy tropes and poor use of the timeline merging.
However, I just focus on what matters the most which is fighting AI or other players. In that aspect, MK11 is awesome. I just wish I could say it was perfect.
Mega Man X Dive
2020
It’s fine I guess, but nothing about it makes me excited to play it really.
It’s gacha game, but unlike the last gacha game I reviewed, it at least feels like a game instead of a get rich quick scheme that lures horny people into going broke for hot cartoon women.
It’s not a great game though and suffers from the issues that have plagued the Mega Man X games in terms of my own subjective opinion. I just don’t find it that fun. Sure it’s a little better since I get to play as a better variety of characters than in the other games, but it isn’t enough for me to be hooked into the game.
It’s not even that I think the controls are bad. It’s that I don’t find it fun getting frustrated having to climb the same damn thing forty times because I was 0.00001 seconds off.
This though is more me saying that I don’t care for it and I understand the appeal for sure. I just can’t get into it no matter how hard I try.
It’s gacha game, but unlike the last gacha game I reviewed, it at least feels like a game instead of a get rich quick scheme that lures horny people into going broke for hot cartoon women.
It’s not a great game though and suffers from the issues that have plagued the Mega Man X games in terms of my own subjective opinion. I just don’t find it that fun. Sure it’s a little better since I get to play as a better variety of characters than in the other games, but it isn’t enough for me to be hooked into the game.
It’s not even that I think the controls are bad. It’s that I don’t find it fun getting frustrated having to climb the same damn thing forty times because I was 0.00001 seconds off.
This though is more me saying that I don’t care for it and I understand the appeal for sure. I just can’t get into it no matter how hard I try.
Blair Witch
2019
This game has amazing graphics. Even on the lowest setting, there were moments where I felt like I was actually walking around in the woods at night.
Unfortunately, walking around in the woods at night would be much more enjoyable than this "game." The photorealistic environment is almost impossible to navigate, especially since you are walking around in almost pitch darkness, with your flashlight your only light. Bushes will literally block your field of view, and there are almost no landmarks by which to orient yourself. Combat revolves around pointing your flashlight in the direction that your dog is barking. As cool as this sounds, it is not executed very well. Keeping track of small things standing near you in a first-person game is frustrating; I would finally figure out where Bullet the dog was only for him to run away and start barking at a different location. The game gave me flashbacks to Amnesia: Rebirth and The Vanishing of Ethan Carter: two other mind-numbingly boring "games" in which you walk around really cool-looking environments and don't really do anything else. I guess if you want a brain-dead mashup of Myst, Alan Wake, and Nintendogs with really good graphics (and bad optimization), you could check out this game. Otherwise, save yourself the money and walk your dog at night.
Unfortunately, walking around in the woods at night would be much more enjoyable than this "game." The photorealistic environment is almost impossible to navigate, especially since you are walking around in almost pitch darkness, with your flashlight your only light. Bushes will literally block your field of view, and there are almost no landmarks by which to orient yourself. Combat revolves around pointing your flashlight in the direction that your dog is barking. As cool as this sounds, it is not executed very well. Keeping track of small things standing near you in a first-person game is frustrating; I would finally figure out where Bullet the dog was only for him to run away and start barking at a different location. The game gave me flashbacks to Amnesia: Rebirth and The Vanishing of Ethan Carter: two other mind-numbingly boring "games" in which you walk around really cool-looking environments and don't really do anything else. I guess if you want a brain-dead mashup of Myst, Alan Wake, and Nintendogs with really good graphics (and bad optimization), you could check out this game. Otherwise, save yourself the money and walk your dog at night.
This was an alright expansion (sorry, DLC) for F.E.A.R., but ultimately it did not hold up to the actual game. Apart from one or two sections it was fairly easy on hard mode. There was maybe one interesting setpiece in the entire game, and the rest of the fights and level design was serviceable, but not memorable. Despite picking up where F.E.A.R. left off, Extraction Point doesn't add much to the storyline. If you liked F.E.A.R. enough to want more F.E.A.R. it's worth playing, but it doesn't really stand on its own.
F.E.A.R.
2005
This review contains spoilers
If you go into this game thinking it is a horror game, you will be deeply disappointed. There are almost no scary elements other than a general vague atmosphere of horror that might have been scary in the mid-2000s, but is hampered by the dated graphics. Once you realize that the jump scares are never anything that can hurt you, you will cease to be scared. Seriously, the mimics in Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep scared me more than anything in this game.
So yeah, it's not a horror game. It's Early 2000s Action Movie Simulator. You have an ability to make yourself go slo-mo, like Neo in the Matrix, and you will use this ability to cheese your way through every fight. The combat feels like you are living through a highlights reel of the game, something I've only experienced in one other game so far (Rage 2). The dynamic A.I. of the enemy NPCs helps add to the eventful nature of the combat. Highlights include going into slo-mo mode and throwing a grenade, finding an NPC hiding in a closet after I'd wiped out his entire squad, and, of course, dual-wielding pistols in slow motion.
Like an early 2000s action movie, this game is aesthetically boring, filled with ugly dark brown colors, and like an early 2000s action movie, the storyline is serviceable at best, but ultimately forgettable. The game feels very long--HowLongToBeat says it is 8 hours, but it felt like 20. The ugly environments are very repetitive, and by the end of the game I felt exhausted.
All in all, it's a good game that gives you some unique experiences, though not quite the five-star masterpiece that some people on the internet think it is. Just don't expect a horror game, and don't believe all of the hype about the enemy A.I.
So yeah, it's not a horror game. It's Early 2000s Action Movie Simulator. You have an ability to make yourself go slo-mo, like Neo in the Matrix, and you will use this ability to cheese your way through every fight. The combat feels like you are living through a highlights reel of the game, something I've only experienced in one other game so far (Rage 2). The dynamic A.I. of the enemy NPCs helps add to the eventful nature of the combat. Highlights include going into slo-mo mode and throwing a grenade, finding an NPC hiding in a closet after I'd wiped out his entire squad, and, of course, dual-wielding pistols in slow motion.
Like an early 2000s action movie, this game is aesthetically boring, filled with ugly dark brown colors, and like an early 2000s action movie, the storyline is serviceable at best, but ultimately forgettable. The game feels very long--HowLongToBeat says it is 8 hours, but it felt like 20. The ugly environments are very repetitive, and by the end of the game I felt exhausted.
All in all, it's a good game that gives you some unique experiences, though not quite the five-star masterpiece that some people on the internet think it is. Just don't expect a horror game, and don't believe all of the hype about the enemy A.I.
Look I'm sure it's great and all but I put this down pretty much the moment Poison Ivy showed up in her dumb outfit
Resistance 3
2011
I thought this one was an "underrated gem". it's one i've been meaning to play for like 10 years. i skipped Fall of Man and Resistance 2 just to get to the one that supposedly had a story and maybe some crisper post-Modern Warfare gunplay.
such a weird game tho. it's like if neil druckmann made Bulletstorm. or somebody interspliced paragraphs from The Road into one of the Halo novels (or the Halo games, I guess, fucking plays as monotonously as the Library from Halo 1 but with the aesthetic of like every boring late-00s/early-10s brown FPS).
just... really boring. i guess i liked the dust bowl atmosphere of the early levels which isn't something a lot of games do. but like when you're just shooting mindless aliens creatures, it kind of seems like a huge waste of time.
such a weird game tho. it's like if neil druckmann made Bulletstorm. or somebody interspliced paragraphs from The Road into one of the Halo novels (or the Halo games, I guess, fucking plays as monotonously as the Library from Halo 1 but with the aesthetic of like every boring late-00s/early-10s brown FPS).
just... really boring. i guess i liked the dust bowl atmosphere of the early levels which isn't something a lot of games do. but like when you're just shooting mindless aliens creatures, it kind of seems like a huge waste of time.