Having come off the DMC series a few years ago, I played Bayonetta and didn't really click with it. I found it overly hard and felt the katana was the only good weapon (I didn't unlock the others and didn't understand Kulshedra). Deciding to not remain a loser, I replayed it and found myself falling in love with it 💕

Trying to talk about Bayonetta without mentioning Devil May Cry would be a waste. Even if Kamiya's involvement with the latter stopped at the first installment, there's so much you can extrapolate to DMC and its third game. Bayonetta and Dante are both forces of reckoning in their own series, stylishly dispatching foe after foe with ease to veil their inner turmoils: with Bayonetta struggling with uncovering her past and maternity, and Dante being unable to connect with his brother Vergil, as their interactions are only articulated through violence. While Dante's vulnerability is seldom shown (although not less impactful), Bayonetta's moments of weakness are more visible and central to the identity that develops through her journey: motherhood. Whenever an enemy gets the better of Bayonetta or she gets royally pissed off it's because she is protecting Cerecita, and even after discovering her true nature she still treats her like a daughter by singing the lullaby her mother singed to her in the past.
My only gripe with this is that this development isn't part of a more cohesive story, which is a shame because it's definitely cookin' something. Call me a speed reader if you want but even by forcing synapsis I was completely incapable of making sense of what was going on outside broad strokes, leaving me a bit empty handed on how this identity stacks up in the whole scheme of things. It definitely deepens Bayonetta's character but DMC3 managed to integrate this vulnerability to its plot in a way that Bayonetta couldn't (even if DMC3's plot is inexistent outside the parts where Vergil isn't in it), which is a shame because the game does have a fair share of cutscenes for exposition which were all white noise to me, leaving Bayo's characterization to feel underused and a bit inconclusive.

On the gameplay side, I might like this game's combat more than DMC's as a whole. A perfect blend of complexity, arcade-yness, spectacle and skill ceiling that yields results for those willing to learn the ins and outs of its systems. Even if most of my learning was thru sources outside the game itself, managing Wicked Weaves to reset combo points and learning each of the weapons is so satisfying and rewarding. Witch Time is simply the coolest mechanic ever, not only as a reward for properly dodging attacks but also serving as a condition to deal with certain enemies gives it so much value that it's absence will make you beg for it to come back.
The problem with the gameplay is my also my biggest problem with the game and what keeps me from giving it a 5: the distribution of chapters in the last third of the game. It's comprised of 7 chapters of which 4 are boss fights, which are not the game's strong suit since it doesn't let you use your moveset in a fun way unlike normal mobs; and 1 is a gimmick level which is the worst level in the game, unbearably long (and you can't rush through it) and for some unholy reason also has the best boss fight in the game. This leaves you with only 2 normal chapters of which one is very short and the worst proper level IMO (Ch. XII) and the last proper level in the game that's a bit underwhelming for the place it has in the order. This was the only grievance that stuck between my playthroughs and I was very dissapointed to see that it remained unchanged. I blame Kamiya because he put a shoot 'em up segment in the last boss of DMC1 and now I see he's been given the keys to the gimmick castle, making my need to make fun of him for being bald even greater.

With that said, I'm quite happy to be now Bayopilled. I will remain so until Bayo 2 runs at 15 fps on my totally and obviously legal Wii U, and Bayo 3 makes me block Yuri Lowenthal on twitter

as an owner of a prepaid phone plan i sadly cannot play this, if anybody would be so kind as to leave your phone number down below so i can try it out i'd appreciate it (WOMEN ONLY) 😁😁👇👇👇👇👇

this is both the best and ugliest game ive played all year so i can confidently say it earns a spot on the list of "mommy's favorite kusoges"

Credit where credit is due: this is MILES better than Man of Medan in pretty much every conceivable way. That said, if you're unfamiliar with the first entry on the Dark Picture Anthology, be forewarned: being better than MoM is an easy feat!

Regardless of any comparative praises, which as I said before are practically null considering the circumstances, I will say that the mystery of the apparent reincarnations, the monster designs, and at least the overall idea that the game wants to put out there is good. It's just a very underwhelming execution that ultimately dooms it all.

One of the first big things is the monotone pacing and sequence of events. The chapters can be described with a simple flowchart consisting of: PCs enter a place -> they gotta get outta there! -> they get outta there -> repeat. Sometimes they escape from a VERY slow monster in between, but most follow that structure. Even if you can look past that, it becomes impossible to ignore how badly distributed the screentime of the scenarios is. Andrew has 11 playable scenarios while most of the other characters have around 5, which makes Andrew make up most of the gameplay. Angela straight up vanishes for a shitton of chapters just to make a cheap kill, even if you don't have the means to actually undergo that event!!! what!!!
Locked traits, a mechanic introduced in Little Hope and dropped from further entries immediately after is a terrible mechanic. It ties thematically with the game, of course, but whose ideas was it to put such a mechanic in a game with such a binary philosophy? What's the point of locked traits if and endgame decision can override them entirely, making the whole mechanic a "if you choose wrong, die" instead of something that actually leads towards a horrible fate? It makes no sense and makes the final fate feel underdeveloped and confusing.

Story spoilers for the ending below because Backloggd has no way to spoiler tag without compromising the whole review
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Nothing kills a good mystery than a bad reveal, which if you know anything about this game it's common consensus that it doesn't stick the landing, and I can now confirm that it really doesn't. Not that the twist is insultingly bad, even if it's just "lol nothing was real actually" again (at least it has more to it this time), but how it's so much less interesting than what was building up to it. It's an attempt at a Silent Hill plot written by people who endlessly lurk the "appearance and symbolism" section of the Silent Hill wiki, without realizing that a lot of the strength from Silent Hill's stories doesn't come from what is real and what's not, but what is on the gap between reality and delusion. If James looked at the camera and said "this is what Pyramid Head REALLY means, also he's not real!", what's the point? There's a review on this game that calls the ending something along the lines of "ending explained material" and it couldn't be more true. The twist makes the witch plot feel weightless, and when the crux of your mystery has no weight, the truck slam (because he was the bus driver...) that should be the final twist becomes a limp slap to the face.
Even ignoring the twist, everything regarding the family from the prologue feels underbaked. I assume the whole idea behind the game is that Andrew blames himself or Megan for the fire. Maybe both. But it's no one's fault because it was accident, but you have to condemn the reverend to reach that conclusion. He's a devil worshipper! Also the devil was on the prologue too, I guess? And he wanted to get Megan on the satanism? Or it's a CSA metaphor, but probably not?! Why was the devil there?!??!?!?! Why did you give me so few Angela scenes???????? Fuck you Supermassive, I picked her you fuckers!!!!

fun fact!

Despite many claims about this being the studio's first horror game, this is actually a misconception. Dream Daddy came out in 2017.

actual log since ive gotten around 3-4 hours more: this game fucking blows. the map roster is terrible, ive played some matches where we got the same shit maps time and time again!!! wheres the fuckin variety!!! its serviceable fun (LOW BAR) with friends but god, did they really charge for this shit? just a slop consequence of throwing every "fun" idea into a blender and serving it, charging 20 dollars for a series of barely designed minigames that was on an imminent swap to a f2p model

Played demo. By the way the igdb date is wrong, the demo came out on August while the full game launches in September.

There are 3 routes in the demo and you can categorize them as good, neutral, and bad respectively. Each of them is written by a different person, which fits the concept as the characters are diverse and a single person wouldn't be able to cover the spectrum of experiences necessary for a good depiction (not like it achieves this always, who the fuck says "abuela"), but it's a mess in execution as it makes the writing wholly inconsistent. I felt a huge whiplash as I went from the one I liked to the story I felt was the worst because the gap between quality was stounding (even the ost took a nosedive, for some reason!).

As a visual novel, I'm confused at its structure. What I thought was me choosing how I wanted to date was actually... who I was making decisions for. Try as you might to decipher who these characters are when your only guidelines are terrible, terrible items like "your angle AND your devil", "calling people slurs in PVP isn't very gamer of you", and "bitches say they love poetry and then go after emotionally unavailable men, sis you're worried about the wrong Dickinson!". Once chosen, you go on a date and choose some options like twice. The decisions felt very insignificant, they probably dictate the ending but they don't feel important in the moment or in retrospect, so I'm not sure why not just omit them in the first place.
Surprisingly, the dialogue itself wasn't as meme-y as the presentation let off. These is no Neon White and it's not even close. If anything, the third route you can play felt overly out of touch, with the PC only now discovering people use "we" as a singular (she is only 27). There's a huge disconnect between the presentation and marketing, of which the latter is mostly the twitter account making memes about their own game (if you check the "meme" section of their own site, there's only a single post LOL)

It's hard to parse closing thoughts on a demo, so I'll say this: its not as good as I hoped but not as bad as I thought. I'll probably check out the full release because I gravitate towards games people (losers) hate over being "SJW" like a moth to a flame. Did you know I like Steven Universe?

This review contains spoilers

all of these guys are pussies, me and my friends wouldve smoked the shit out of manchurian gold 🥴🥴🥴🥴

fall guy: (hits the edge of a platform and falls like a dumbass) wowooa!

me, an empath: AURRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

trying to install this on launch provided more gameplay than the end product ever could

so called "free thinkers" when they unlock crackshot => 🐑🐑🐑

never drove a car in my life but this is probably what trying to park feels like

more videogames need to include an old woman who is progressively meaner towards you

let's say you go to a restaurant and, for the sake of this dumb analogy, order the full course. they keep the theme, the element that ties it all together, a secret because hey, people due love figuring it out by themselves! that's what everyone else is doing! look how good it worked for hello neighbor!

you start digging into the first course and getting your hopes up! what you thought was gonna be cooking DDLC has more up its sleeve that you believed and you begin feeling optimist up for the main dish...

...after a few bites, something's off. What was supposed the highlight of the whole experience is absolutely not what you expected it to ramp up to. You start to feel... a subtle aftertaste that becomes increasingly more apparent with each bite until it finally completely turns you off from it. You finish it anyway because whatever, you've payed for it and hopefully the dessert can wash away the lore from your mouth.

then the dessert arrives and it looks familiar in the worst way possible. do you remember imscared? do you remember spooky's house of jumpscares, SPECIFICALLY (for some reason) the rebecca black spoof? well, that's dessert baby! and you know what? have a side of some of that LORE that you're just DROOLING to DIG INTO!!!!

all the positivity that had ingrained itself in you from the first course is promptly uprooted and you get get as bitter as the "twist" coffee they tried offering you as you were finally able to walk away from this mess. it is then that the true horror is revealed. you look up to your waiter as you prepare to pay the bill and finally realize: it is none other than MatPat himself


This review contains spoilers

I left this game on-hold for months on end after unlocking what I assume leads to the ending, the part where the game literally shows you what you have to do in order to progress, something which now I feel is such a humongous misstep and pretty much indicative of how I feel about the DLC as a whole: this just doesn't feel like the base game.

What follows a stellar opening in the form of an incredible puzzle very reminiscent of the original game and a thrill-filled boatride through this new place is a gradual realization that something is... not quite what it used to.
What I think is one of Outer Wilds' best design decisions is that if you get tired of one planet you can just hop to the next until you're ready to come back, which left me quite puzzled when trying to think where this DLC fits in that whole system. If you've already played the original Outer Wilds, you're really only gonna be focusing on this one, and for me that got tiresome fast specially since the mechanics introduced can be very grating (we'll go over this l8r). If you're a new player: how do you even tie this into the rest? Hopping from one planet to the next works because the information between them is, mostly, interconnected, but The Stranger is so displaced from everything else that I think you'll start questioning if it's even worth it. This design philosophy is so fundamentally against what the original went for that I'm just confused on why this isn't just... an aside from the campaign entirely.

Having a horror focus is an interesting idea which I think was just horribly fumbled in its execution. The original succeeds because it's not necessarily trying to be scary (aside from Dark Bramble), the vastness of space really just speaks for itself. I had to brace myself when entering Ocean's Deep or traversing Brittle Hollow upside down because I found those really REALLY unnerving, so when you hand me a lantern and just make everything dark while randomly playing the Outer Wilds equivalent of this, sending Frictional Games AI try to and find me, I just roll my eyes. Sure, it's scary at first but when it starts getting in the way of the actual mystery-solving it is so, so frustrating and bland. The Stranger itself does a way better attempt at being scary with how massive the area feels at first, how oppressive the imminent menace of the dam breaking and the huge wave of water slowly making its way towards you, how the music shifts while you watch the tapes, and how you don't feel like you're alone in there...

Having an element of the horror be existential dread is, again, a good idea, but hits its face on the floor once it's revealed through the cartoonishly evil grin of an owlguy that the realization of death just turned them into self-preserving dickheads (this is probably deeper but I doubt there was any more nuance in the part of the game I didn't finish). This is probably the biggest slap in the face for me considering the base game does such a smart subversion on leading you into thinking the Nomai caused the explosion of the Sun through some sort of malice while in the end their efforts were wasted trying to reach the Eye and that their intentions were never evil, but rather just their desire for knowledge which their culture revolves around. Here the first owl you meet just throws you out of their metaverse because uh, fuck you I guess? and exists only to be very annoying while you try to progress. Just a complete antithesis to what the base game went for and in every wrong possible way.

Unsure if I'm returning to this game sometime or not. When the game just spoonfed me answers I went to bed saying "yeah I'll come back probably" and never did. I have a very small part of my heart telling me to trust the process on this one, but I think through this review it's quite clear that, regardless of what little there was probably left for me to see, I get the feeling that my take-away is already written