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Our glorious Fire Emblem: Three Houses vs their wicked three hopes. I wrote a longer review but it was honestly so hateful I decided to keep it to myself. Basically she was fix-it fanfiction and I was an 03 fan. Oh well at least sylvain was bisexual

This review contains spoilers

Final Fantasy VII is a sensational RPG perhaps like no other JRPG in existence. Its acknowledgement has breached mainsteam pop-culture to a degree unseen by any other individual JRPG- let alone game in the Final Fantasy franchise. It should be no secret to anyone that loves FFVII that Square Enix milks the nostalgic love people have for this game until it results in the disappointing mess that is the Final Fantasy VII Remake trilogy.

Before I dive into what made me hurl about this game, I would like to note and stress that there are a number of things this game attempts to achieve and is tantalisingly close to getting right. For one, I think the exploration being more reliant on Chocobos is an excellent idea- they've been neglected as a means of traversal since Final Fantasy IX; though the sloppy execution in every area nix Junon and Nibel leaves the concept rather lacking in a number of aspects. To add onto this, I think the utilisation of the Tiny Bronco was a touch that was much needed towards the end of the game to actually make the regions feel connected in a way they largely did not before Chapter 12.

The Combat system, just like Remake, is probably where this game shines best. Each character feels very distinct and is uniquely enjoyable to play as if you give them the time to unlock their weapon skills and abuse them to their fullest potential. Red XIII is their greatest accomplishment by far- I think Nanaki may just be the most powerful and ergo- the most enjoyable member to play as in the cast. In some ways I'm looking forward to how they portray Cid and Vincent in the final game.

Furthermore, when the game is trying to be Final Fantasy VII and not some half-assed attempt at creating a FFVII Compilation Omnibus, it captures the essence that I sorely want to see in an actual remake of this game. I think no scene better encompasses what I mean than Barret's Corel flashback. When this game is committed to getting its characters right, it really gets it right. Similarly said, I think that the focus on Cloud's SOLDIER cells degrading leading to his mental breakdown throughout the course of the story of the first disc.

Finally, the minigames. I'm so glad that they were here in abundance, and if the game featured more of them, I think I would genuinely bump up my rating to something higher than it currently sits at. Being homages to other FF games (such as "Gears & Gambits" taking the "Gambit" system from FFXII) was a real treat. Some don't hit quite as well (for example, I'm not an enormous fan of how the Chocobos control in Chocobo Racing,) but not all of them need to be amazing. Minigames- both good and bad, are a part of FFVII's identity. Queen's Blood especially was a real treat.

The negatives are where this game really gets to shine, though.

First and foremost I would like to come out swinging by stating that basing your overworld exploration on The Witcher III of all games was a terrible decision. That game itself has far too many side-objectives that take away from its core strength of compelling story-writing, which is what Rebirth also suffers from (except it also fumbles in the story-writing department, which I will dive into later.) Chadley commenting on every other small thing that you do was grating from the get-go and having no option to turn him off is frustrating beyond belief. He's a meaningless addition to the cast that feels forced and unnatural in the worst way- and their attempts to redeem his annoyance through glimpses into his real identity in the latter half of the game do no service towards how incessant comments. The objectives themselves are also repetitive after the first area. Painfully so. The Protorelics are the highlights of each area, except when they're just tied to combat. I couldn't even be bothered with the final Protorelic on Gilgamesh island because it was just more of the same detritus-- and as someone who generally loves completing games, this naturally leads myself onto the point that there are far too many objectives.
Nibel is by far the best area because it is not only the smallest, but also happens to have the Chocobo capable of the most efficient form of travel. If all areas were the size of Nibel and were easy to navigate as it is, I may have bothered completing the game. As it stands, though? Between Remake and Rebirth, stretching out the first disc to roughly 120 hours of content is an extreme test of one's patience, especially if you aren't fond of its design sensibilities, as I am.

No sugarcoating: the new storytelling is awful and they've completely butchered some of their most lovable characters. I think if you genuinely believe that the Remake trilogy is doing a better job at telling the stories of its entire cast, you need to seriously re-examine what they're doing. The worst offender in Remake was Sephiroth- and this carries over in Rebirth, though Cid and Aerith can also be added to that list quite easily.

The quest to make Sephiroth this less ambiguous villain is ultimately doing him no favours- and honestly, there is no real tension or menacing presence maintained by his on-screen presence because they're far too focused on either delivering the audience blockbuster-esque eye candy or feeding fanfic writers with toxic yaoi material by having him treat Cloud like a trained dog. Advent Children also made the mistake that has transferred over to Remake in changing Sephiroth's theme to One Winged Angel, as opposed to Those Chosen by The Planet. TCbTP is a track that is meant to emanate tension by its mere presence, whereas OWA was composed to serve as a boss theme. In many ways, the change of theme is symbolic of his transition from an ambiguous entity to an ever-present "boss" entity that the party has to face.
Aerith too is now suffering from a similar issue to Sephiroth, wherein she is being played as part of a meta-plot about timelines and alternate universes, rather than her original allegory as that of a Messiah. The final boss fight in particular reeked and soured my opinion even further regarding the portrayals of both of their characters, including and not limited to their choice in music excluding Birth of A God in favour of One Winged Angel.. again.
I ended up getting Red XIII on my second Gold Saucer date, and as soon as he seized the opportunity to talk about Aerith's oncoming death in the Skywheel, I audibly sighed.

Cid is shockingly one I'm not seeing people complain about, though. He's an entirely different character. Removing Rocket Town from disc one in favour of the Gongaga plot solely to wave Cissnei in the face of the audience... who largely probably doesn't even know who she is, is a choice I find shockingly baffling. At the minute, he's just being played as a "nice guy" that's helping out the party because he fights for the republic as an independent flyer. His pearly white teeth are reflective of his "reimagined" personality: he's been cleaned up to a degree I find completely unacceptable, and truth be told? I was genuinely looking forward to hearing him be the rudest person in the party. It's so sad.

In conclusion- between the release of this game and a far more genuinely faithful remake releasing earlier in the year in the form of Persona 3 Reload, I find myself wondering why I even bother with the FFVII Compilation anymore. It's poor attempt at creating a new story and playing its audience by baiting them with beloved characters is a charade I find most appalling; and I'd rather them take story-telling risks with a new cast of characters as FFXVI did than whatever this bloated mess of a game actually is.

Fuck this game and it's Wattpad fanfic-tier meta bullshit. They ruined Aerith's death.

I have forced myself to finish this game so I can properly warn everybody.

The graphics and music are good, and the gameplay itself it´s kind of fun but a little bit too repetitive, full of minigames that are hit or miss. But every good thing this game does it´s ruined by the plot and the writing.

It´s overly convoluted and doesn´t understand the appeal of the OG game. If you didn´t like the whispers before get ready for something 1000 times worse. They ruin some of the most iconic moments in gaming history.

The writing is even worse than in part one, everyone reverted to being oversimplified versions of themselves. Childish, overacted, and annoying, they are no longer the characters we used to love, especially Sephiroth. He is basically Ansen, appears out of nowhere says something cryptic, and leaves. The character is completely ruined.

Stay away from this game if you have any respect or love for the OG and good storytelling in general.

This review contains spoilers

Honestly, I have so much to say about this game but also so little. In short, this game is just another shitty compilation game. It's not some genius remake-sequel concept that Remake's ending teased... it just truly a bad remake. They glitz everything up with pretty graphics, epic cutscenes, and top-notch voice acting (and I mean, if there's one aspect this game nails... it's the voice acting because everyone is perfectly cast). But that all exists to hide how shallow this game really is. It's not just that this isn't as good as the OG, it also misunderstands what the OG was trying to convey in literally every big story beat. Genuine, heartfelt moments are ruined with over the top cutscenes that take you out of the moment, horribly timed and useless lore dumps, and long, flashy bossfights that take away from the sentiment of the moment. And it feels like they get worse as the game progresses. Like, I thought they messed up the Corel section by turning the tragic story of Dyne and his decent in madness into this Hollywood-ass "last stand" because godforbid our actions have consequences, but then Cosmo Canyon is somehow even worse. Red finding out the truth about Seto is one of the most poignant moments in the OG, but this game cannot let a moment breathe... they have to introduce this stupid as Gi Tribe nonsense to take you out of the moment. And then there's the ending... please don't get me started. It's so fucking awful. Not only is Aerith's actual death scene completely ruined because the writers couldn't help but do some fuckshit till the very last second (which btw, as a newcomer is probably gonna be so confusing) but they follow-up it up with so many long as fuck bossfights that you end up completely forgetting that she even died at all. And it's funny, because Jenova would've been a perfectly good final boss. I mean, every party member participates, there are multiple phases and it's a very fun fight... but nope. This is an FF7 game, which means we have to end on a Sephiroth fight.. and wait, there's more! Because this is a compilation game, we need Zack to be there and he has to epic and cool. In what is the most fan-fiction moment in the game, Cloud and Zack teamup to fight Sephiroth. And then Bizarro Sephiroth shows up because why not and we get what is probably the most irritating fight sequence ever before ending on another Sephiroth fight where... get this: Aerith shows up. Now, the fight itself was quite fun. But having Aerith shows up is so terrible on a narrative and thematic level, it's not even funny. It's just so bad, I'm kind of baffled. I really hate what they do with Cloud at the end too. The OG had a pretty honest and caring depiction of mental health, but in this game, Cloud just goes anime psycho and now we get Aerith's ghost parading around like she's Hannah fucking Baker. It's just so stupid. And you know, throughout the game the only thing I could ask is why? What as the point in doing all that shit at the end of Remake is Rebirth was going to be the same game anyway? Why remake the same game but 80x longer? Why add these dumb puzzles? Why am I doing any of these sidequests? Why does this game exist?

There are some merits to the game. The combat is genuinely really fun. Hard to remember that at times since the game throws so many bosses at you that I just get tired, but this combat is fun. The customization is fun. A lot of the mini-games are pretty enjoyable, as it the world exploration... until Chadley shows up. Seriously, I didn't have an issue with the guy in Remake because you could pretty much ignore him, but he just doesn't go away in this game. You cannot move around the world without his bothering you. Who thought that was a good idea?

I can certainly see myself returning to this game to finish up the stuff I left behind, because when I ignore the story, I actually do quite like it. The Gilgamesh stuff was really fun and I do want to see it again and I'd like to finish some of the other side content. It's the reason why I don't think this game is a 0/10, but this game is so frustrating. It butchers FF7 so hard. Nothing they add to this game means anything. It all exists for fanservice and that lack of artistic merit bothers me so much that it just muddies the whole experience. I think this may legitimately be my new least favorite video game of all time, and that sucks because I really, really wanted to like this game.

Final Fantasy XV is a beautiful game. That's a corny way to start off a review, but saying, "a Final Fantasy for fans and first-timers" is a corny way to start a game, so I must respond in kind. I know it had a long and troubled production, and that it came out unfinished, and it rubbed a lot of fans the wrong way. I remember reading forum discussions in 2013 where players would ask, "Do companies think it's right to make us wait ten years for a game?"

Well, if they put stuff out on par with this game, they absolutely fucking can. I'll get on with my life in the meanwhile. I'm a bit more sympathetic to those who played it on release. But I can't really know or care much about how the game was seven years ago, so much as what it was like when I was playing it seven days ago.

It tells the tale of four friends who set out on a journey to obtain a ring and end up fighting a threat that could plunge the world in darkness forevermore (J. R. R. Tolkien should sue). Prince Noctis and his childhood friends-turned-bodyguards are planning to have the best road trip ever before he gets married and saves the world and all that. These lads are a Japanese schoolgirl's wet dream - carelessly handsome, unabashedly silly, and more concerned with the trendiness of their clothes than the gravitas of their destiny.

This is the highlight of Final Fantasy XV - the main cast is a bunch of sheltered dandies who have to come to terms with the greatness that has been thrust upon them. Their personal growth, their earnest moments of brotherhood, and their banter-laden interactions are the heart of the narrative. The hero isn't a po-faced paladin of justice - he's one of the guys. Watching him mature into a true king is quite the journey.

Final Fantasy XV also has one of the most beautifully rendered open worlds I've seen. It caused me to appreciate nature more, because real life looks a lot like Final Fantasy XV. And trust me, you spend about as much time driving in this game as you would in real life. The car, the Regalia, is the fifth main character. If there's one thing I could wish for, it would be that your control over the car wasn't so limited for most of the game. But even with its mostly autopilot navigation, sitting back and admiring the scenery while listening to music from past FF titles was quite the experience.

This open-world design continues for half the game, of which most of your time will be spent doing sidequests. I'm told I generally rush RPGs, but I definitely didn't rush Final Fantasy XV, because there's so much to do - and so much fun to be had doing it. It's enough to put the main story on the backburner, it is, what with all the games-within-a-game it offers. Fishing? Monster hunting? Pinball on steroids? This game has it. And with the game's reward mechanics, plus the promise of interesting conversations with the supporting cast, nearly every sidequest feels worth doing. Even if it's a blatant advertisement for Cup Noodles. Look, they had to get the budget to make this game look so beautiful somewhere, okay?

In an inversion of Final Fantasy XIII, the first half of XV is open-world and laden with sidequests, while the second half is linear. I know 'linearity' is a dirty word to a lot of gamers, but I can't complain about it in either of these games. Once the plot in Final Fantasy XV starts getting funneled towards its conclusion, it also becomes much more focused and much more heartrending. I was almost in tears in this game's campaign as many times as I've been with all the previous games I've played put together. And I commend the game's writing and directing team for being unafraid to commit to the tragedy, something quite a few Final Fantasy stories pull back from at the last moment. For its story alone, Final Fantasy XV is a triumph.

This game also marks a true departure from the Active Time Battle system of past Final Fantasies, something the series has been trying to break away from for over a decade. Finally, the series commits to real-time hack-and-slash combat. There's a wait mode, but it seems to simply be an accessibility option for handicapped players. The combat is a lot of fun. Once you get the hang of the dodge/parry mechanics, and can switch between defense and aggression on the fly, there's a lot of fun to be had, even if the camera sometimes obstructs your view when fighting large enemies.

While I encountered no major bugs during my playthrough, there is no hiding the fact that this is very much a game that spent ten years in development. Final Fantasy XV is hardly consistent, but then again, the Final Fantasy series as a whole isn't consistent. My favourite analogy to make is that if Dragon Quest is AC/DC, Final Fantasy is Guns N' Roses. It's large, unwieldy and all over the place, but if it's a series of very low lows (fuck FF XIII-2), it also has very high highs. Final Fantasy XV is a very high high. If Metal Gear Solid V hadn't come out, on release XV would have been the greatest unfinished game ever made. But it is finished now, with DLC episodes to fill in the blanks and show how adaptable the game engine is to different gameplay styles, and it goes on sale for a fiver. There is no better time to play this game than now.

Ultimately, Final Fantasy XV is a fantastic experience with a lot to do and even more to appreciate. Its emphasis on brotherhood reminded me of my own college clique. I oughta call those guys sometime.

The intro to this game is so fire
The rest is really solid, pretty much what I expect from a square enix game with this much effort, nothing less but nothing more
The amount of side quests and meandering can become a bit much at times but when the story beats hit they HIT
The ending is great too, all around just a great showing from square, but nothing that particularly blew me away aside from scale, especially those boss fights.

[PSP Version] To think it all started here. The series has definitely come a long way. I can't say I connected with the story or the characters because they weren't really all that deep, and I never really expected them to be. But it was neat enough coming back to see how it all began, even if I played a later version of the game. And all the new dungeons and things that were added into the PSP version were all pretty bad in my opinion. As in overly difficult and not fun.

Anyway, it was a decent enough start. I look forward to moving on to better and more interesting games in the series. Hope the next one isn't considered to be one of the worst, or anything!

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