Because the normal Hirukowashi-hen doesn’t have a page here, this review will have my thoughts on both.

Frankly…this story…is very degenerate. Despite that, I didn’t really find it painful to read. It was so ridiculous and idiotic, I just didn’t care and went along with the ride. And I think once you do that the sheer insanity of this side story becomes a little funny, which is the point. Towards the end the writer, whoever wrote this, tries to justify it all by making it about how good partners in relationships at least try to get themselves invested into what their partner likes but like…it’s so weak and meaningless it really doesn’t matter.

The alternative version is slightly better, Irie being a blatant pedophile would normally be extremely cringeworthy, but the lunacy of the events made it a bit funnier. Satoko and Shion also have more dialogue in this version as well, which makes it instantly better. Sadly, this version cuts out Hanyuu entirely but like…the less young looking characters around Irie, the better.

Despite this game being arguably one of the most important ever made from a Western market perspective, I had never bothered to actually play through the game in its entirety until very recently. I always saw it as a neat iconic relic from the past and only ever played the first few levels. But, my interest in the early games of the Mario franchise did spark up a bit recently, which led to me playing through this fully.

The actual game is…ok! It’s the most fundamental Mario title, but also potentially the most basic. There’s nothing really super flawed or bad about this game; I think it’s actually probably as perfect as it could’ve been. It’s just nothing that crazy to begin with. And that’s fine for the first entry, but it makes this game all the worse in retrospect compared to its peers.

Regardless, the game is still enjoyable. If you have the will to actually try it, you’ll probably enjoy some kind of fun from its simplicity. You just need to actually get past the first few worlds for the game's addictive nature to set in.

Mediocre to downright awful in almost every way. The music and aesthetic is good, working together nicely to create a honestly awesome mid-2000s feel. Other than that, there really isn’t anything good here. The story is neither thematically nor narratively good, with incredible pacing issues. It feels like the actual story of the game is only 10 or so hours long, but is stretched far more than it needs to be so players can experience the repetitive and bare bones daily life over the course of a in-game year. The decision to have most major story events on full moons is thematically nice, but the weeks in between full moons are hollow and empty with little to do. The social links were alright, but even the best ones didn’t leave much of an impression on me. And finally, Tartarus is incredibly boring to play through completely, with the floors being essentially same the whole way throughout, and the combat is painfully dull and lacking in mechanics. Have not played The Answer but probably never will since I hear it’s somehow even worse than this game.