Phillick
Everyone hates on King Harlaus until they have to be King Harlaus. I just want to win tourneys and fight mountain bandits and woo maidens, but no, the butter must flow
I've been stuck on that boss fight with Rolph's goat for 16 years
My teacher brought her Atari into class one day and I thought that was so cool so I booted it up and this was the only game she had. I felt cheated
Have you ever noticed that the protagonists in vampire stories are almost always major nerds? And can you imagine how insulting that is to the vampires? You go to sleep in a mahogany coffin in the basement of your personal castle like an OG and then you wake up to some nerd staking you in the heart in between bouts of crying over his girl that you stole with a glance from your bewitching eyes. Then he goes outside to a village of people who you worked to keep as your thralls for years and he's all like "the curse that has vexed you is finally lifted." Sounds like nerd daydreaming to me
2012
I beat this game on the hardest difficulty and that part where you run from the helicopter took me 158 tries, I counted.
2014
Who snuck a cute romance story into my spinning limo skeleton murder game?
The first time my squadmate was supposed to breach a door, it didn't load in, so he holstered his gun, kicked the air, shot at an empty room and then fell through the floor into the void.
I remember the days when everyone wanted to be the next big multiplayer shooter. We're still in it
2018
I like to pretend that I'm not trapped on an alien planet but that I'm at a diving-themed summer camp and that all the other fish are just camp counselors in rubber suits which I guess makes it weird when I turn them into water with the fabricator but oh well
2020
I just imagined it was Ralphie from A Christmas Story chasing me in the bunny suit and it wasn't scary at all
2021
If this review isn't your wakeup call to give that weird Norwegian dude who lives down by the creek and catches fish with has bare hands some elderberries and shiny rocks so he can make another game like this, then I don't know what is.
TBD
I have to give credit to this game because I can't remember the last time I made it through a Zoom meeting without playing it
2020
I've tried pulling off these tricks in my car on the highway and apparently when I do it, it's not "cool" or "worth a lot of points," it's "public endangerment."
2022
Just living with it
I played as a skeleton and I collected bones and other dead things. My party didn't like me