Phillick
Everyone hates on King Harlaus until they have to be King Harlaus. I just want to win tourneys and fight mountain bandits and woo maidens, but no, the butter must flow
2020
This game inspired me to make my own ghost hunting kit and I brought it to my friend's haunted farm and we used the Ouija board and the ghost in the Ouija board said his name was "penis" but I'm not entirely convinced that wasn't my friend moving the glass thing on his own. Still threw holy water everywhere, always pays to follow proper procedure
2015
I had a lot of fun playing this on my keyboard but also my fingers are in indescribable pain
Have you ever noticed that the protagonists in vampire stories are almost always major nerds? And can you imagine how insulting that is to the vampires? You go to sleep in a mahogany coffin in the basement of your personal castle like an OG and then you wake up to some nerd staking you in the heart in between bouts of crying over his girl that you stole with a glance from your bewitching eyes. Then he goes outside to a village of people who you worked to keep as your thralls for years and he's all like "the curse that has vexed you is finally lifted." Sounds like nerd daydreaming to me
Do you think that orcs have hobbies? Is murder a hobby?
2023
I just want to play as a morally ambiguous smuggler who won't shoot on sight but knows how to use a blaster and has her wits about her but isn't like super smart but is still smart and sometimes volunteers at a reptile sanctuary on the weekends and never drinks coffee because it gives her the jitters and likes going on cave tours and she used to watch To Kill A Mockingbird with me and sometimes she paints a little mole on her upper lip with her eyeliner brush like Cindy Crawford and she knows how to make French onion soup just the way I like it and uh...I forgot what I was talking about. Emma please come back.
2023
This review contains spoilers
I would say this is a great game and all but goddammit I cannot beat the Nameless Puppet it has been 5 weeks and I watched the entirety of Mad Men in that time and I still haven't beaten that damned puppet.
Wait what's a parry?
Wait what's a parry?
2007
I sat on my couch, with my girlfriend, and watched the entirety of To Kill A Mockingbird in this game, while Jackie sat on his couch, with Jenny, and watched the entirety of To Kill A Mockingbird in this game.
2012
I beat this game on the hardest difficulty and that part where you run from the helicopter took me 158 tries, I counted.
2014
It makes sense that your stamina recharges, I get that. But how does a flashlight recharge on its own? Is it solar powered? We are in space and there's a lot of solar in space, but sometimes it's hard to find. It's always hiding away in dark corners just waiting to jump us and take our Dave and Busters cards. I don't like those solar, not one bit. Sorry, that got a little political.
2021
If this review isn't your wakeup call to give that weird Norwegian dude who lives down by the creek and catches fish with has bare hands some elderberries and shiny rocks so he can make another game like this, then I don't know what is.
2020
I don't know about you guys but smoking is a leading cause of cigarettes being thrown at me by my neighbor Trent who is a total dick.
2020
I've tried pulling off these tricks in my car on the highway and apparently when I do it, it's not "cool" or "worth a lot of points," it's "public endangerment."
I live under my own house and you don't hear me bragging about it.
2021
For any cool kids with xtreme gamer carpal tunnel, bind primary fire to your mouse wheel.