My life is in fucking tatters; I've not seen the sun in weeks, my family has called numerous welfare checks, I've lost my job, and my wife left me. It, however, was all worth it, for Balatro now owns me, my life is at its mercy, and there is nothing I can do. Not even the most addictive drug on this planet can free me... I lied. I am in hell, a hell I can not escape it. Please save me, god; I let my lust for cards consume me. Help me, someone, please. This is urgent. You must save yourselves before it gets you all, too; run as far and fast as possible. God will not show mercy on you, and you will have the same fate.

Anyway yeah really great game I liked it a lot.

Disclaimer: I am not the targeted audience for this game! Just wanna preface this, and explain why I'm going to be kind to certain parts of this game like it's difficulty and simplicity.

Princess Peach: Showtime! is a game I've ever played. It's very clearly a GoödFeël game, and like most GoödFeël games it's charm really carries it. This game is fucking adorable and just whimsical? It's hard to describe but it filled me with a child-like whimsy I've not felt in a long while. The game itself has a really underwhelming start but near the mid point it really, really kicks up and becomes really enjoyable even if the game is limited by it's dedication to only using two face buttons. It's been said a lot but the two button concept and the idea of dressing up for new powers really does make this feel like Balan Wonderworld if the game was, like, well designed. It's all very simple and fun fun, has a lot gameplay variety as well which keeps the game feeling interesting for the time. This game also has long ass load times though, which really feels like an optimization issue, how are they nearly as bad as bloody Breath of the Wild pre-patch?

Regardless, this is clearly a game meant for children just getting into gaming, and little girls specifically, for a game like that, this works really well. Even when I wasn't the targeted audience I had a pretty good time after the beginning sections, though I wouldn't personally say it's worth the $60 price of admission given it's length, would personally say wait for a sale, or Nintendo Selects if that ever comes back, if you wanna give it a try unless you're a hardcore Princess Peach fan.

I haven't been this conflicted about a video game in a while. On one end, this is more of a Final Fantasy VII Remake, which I greatly enjoyed on a gameplay level. This game really expands on that game's world and characters in a way that surpasses the original VII, even, I think. I genuinely do appreciate it, but fuck me, man, what the hell is this main story? I know it's the second part of a three-part story, so I'll let it slide a bit more than usual, but goddamn, man, it's such a mess as a stand-alone plot and especially a stand-alone ending. It's unavoidable, given how this remake is structured, but it still bothers me to no end; the ending is just not satisfying in the slightest on its own. Not to even mention the absolute hell that is the pacing of the main plotline. It's the same issue in Part I, but at least there, it was far less noticeable. Some of the mini-game and side quests are somewhat aggravating as well, but not to a major degree. The plot and ending really drag this one down for me, but hey, maybe once the final part is out, I'll see what's going on here in a better light. for now, it's a really sour note on an otherwise pretty great game, I think.

That all said, Sailor Barret is the best part of the whole game, so 10/10. Great job, Square.