Sawo
12 reviews liked by Sawo
Bomb Rush Cyberfunk
2023
feeling like the reviewer from ratatouille when he tries the food and remembers his entire childhood in seconds
Super Mario Galaxy
2007
Worst Mario platformer because I ain’t trying to play my games with that little controller that looks like a dildo
they should make a new dkc game and instead of white super kong they should make a black giga kong
If you've taken a cursory glance at my reviews, you'll see that I made a thousand or so word review of Nier Gestalt, one of my favorite games of all time. The dark setting, bewitching music, interesting characters, and versatile gameplay have stuck with me since I got the game around Thanksgiving of 2019.
However, I never planned on liking the original Nier. I only got it because I heard that it had some continuity with Automata. As such, I'd pick it up and beat it before playing and loving Automata. Side note, I mostly loved Automata before I played it for its soundtrack (the reasons why this is important will be made clear in a second).
Imagine my confusion in February 2020 when I buy the game and it absolutely fails to enrapture me in the same way its prequel did. I don't write reviews for games I don't beat, but don't see myself beating this game until the game is actually taking place (in a few millennia mind you). I've given it many chances, but I don't think I can bring myself to beat this game that's beloved by so many.
With the story, I won't be super critical. This is a game acclaimed for its story, so it must be important. Given I haven't experienced it all, maybe it gets really good. I wouldn't know. However, the game must push all the good story beats to the back, because very little happened in the 10 hours I played. 10 hours of an Action RPG is usually quite a bit of the runtime, and I know that the Drakenier franchise has its whole multiple ending facet, so this game may be much longer than an normal 20-ish hour ARPG, but still, nothing interesting happened in the 10 hours I played. There were no good hooks. It was very, "Go here. Kill machine. Go there. Kill machine." Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Again, maybe it takes forever to pick up, but it took too long for me because there was nothing to intrigue me.
The gameplay isn't all too good. Ground combat feels floaty, most likely to facilitate aerial combos. However said combos are very limited and not worth losing any weight behind attacks or tight movement controls. The lack of tight movement controls is made even worse when projectiles are being spewed in bullet-hell patterns. The top down schmup sections are good, but their control setup was not made for the twinstick sections, which see your right hand crowding the right side of your controller in a very uncomfortable manner meanwhile the camera angles disorient the player. I will say that I love the enemy design and how machines' eyes light up before they attack, but that logic goes out the window for bosses or any enemies with ranged attacks. Sacrificing telegraphing apparently is the only way to make tougher encounters. Overall, the gameplay's messy, with gems of design hidden deep in the sediment of low mediocrity.
The game looks nice. I will say that. It's not breathtaking, but the environments look good, 2B's butt is so detailed that it has become a meme, the UI is really slick, and the talented designs of Akihiko Yoshida really shine.
My biggest gripe with this game is the music. I have a chronic need to hum, whistle, or listen to music at any given time of day. That is to say that music is very important to me. I got into the Nier series based on its music alone. However, Automata's soundtrack in hindsight isn't all too good for one reason: remixes. I love Nier Gestalt's soundtrack to bits, so I'm very biased, but almost every track is a certified banger. The standout bangers of this game that are pushed in marketing are mostly recycled. A Beautiful Song and Bipolar Nightmare are sometimes pushed, but the main trifecta that was used in marketing was Grandma - Destruction, Emil - Despair, and Song of the Ancients - Atonement. Two of these tracks are really good (SotA-A is just a worse SotA-Fate if you ask me), don't get me wrong, but it's sad that the keynote songs are remixes as compared to something original.
Automata has some good original songs, like A Beautiful Song, Voice of No Return, and City Ruins, but the game's strongest original tracks are nowhere near as strong as Nier's strongest tracks. Alien Manifestation, for example, is a good track, but nowhere near as good as Snow in Summer for getting you into the mood and atmosphere of the game.
I will probably rewrite this at some point. It's 2:10 AM as I write this and I'm spitballing hard, so I apologize if this is hard to read. However, my judgment still stands that Nier: Automata was heavily disappointing to me on so many facets. I know I'm in a laughably small minority with not liking this game. Few are the number of games that I cannot bring myself to beat. Sadly, Automata must join that list.
4/10 - A game with subpar gameplay, a story that failed to get me interested, and a much weaker soundtrack than its predecessor that fails to have completely original flagship tracks. There's definitely a bid at making a quality game here, especially with the visual presentation, but it doesn't subtract from my immense disappointment at this game.
However, I never planned on liking the original Nier. I only got it because I heard that it had some continuity with Automata. As such, I'd pick it up and beat it before playing and loving Automata. Side note, I mostly loved Automata before I played it for its soundtrack (the reasons why this is important will be made clear in a second).
Imagine my confusion in February 2020 when I buy the game and it absolutely fails to enrapture me in the same way its prequel did. I don't write reviews for games I don't beat, but don't see myself beating this game until the game is actually taking place (in a few millennia mind you). I've given it many chances, but I don't think I can bring myself to beat this game that's beloved by so many.
With the story, I won't be super critical. This is a game acclaimed for its story, so it must be important. Given I haven't experienced it all, maybe it gets really good. I wouldn't know. However, the game must push all the good story beats to the back, because very little happened in the 10 hours I played. 10 hours of an Action RPG is usually quite a bit of the runtime, and I know that the Drakenier franchise has its whole multiple ending facet, so this game may be much longer than an normal 20-ish hour ARPG, but still, nothing interesting happened in the 10 hours I played. There were no good hooks. It was very, "Go here. Kill machine. Go there. Kill machine." Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Again, maybe it takes forever to pick up, but it took too long for me because there was nothing to intrigue me.
The gameplay isn't all too good. Ground combat feels floaty, most likely to facilitate aerial combos. However said combos are very limited and not worth losing any weight behind attacks or tight movement controls. The lack of tight movement controls is made even worse when projectiles are being spewed in bullet-hell patterns. The top down schmup sections are good, but their control setup was not made for the twinstick sections, which see your right hand crowding the right side of your controller in a very uncomfortable manner meanwhile the camera angles disorient the player. I will say that I love the enemy design and how machines' eyes light up before they attack, but that logic goes out the window for bosses or any enemies with ranged attacks. Sacrificing telegraphing apparently is the only way to make tougher encounters. Overall, the gameplay's messy, with gems of design hidden deep in the sediment of low mediocrity.
The game looks nice. I will say that. It's not breathtaking, but the environments look good, 2B's butt is so detailed that it has become a meme, the UI is really slick, and the talented designs of Akihiko Yoshida really shine.
My biggest gripe with this game is the music. I have a chronic need to hum, whistle, or listen to music at any given time of day. That is to say that music is very important to me. I got into the Nier series based on its music alone. However, Automata's soundtrack in hindsight isn't all too good for one reason: remixes. I love Nier Gestalt's soundtrack to bits, so I'm very biased, but almost every track is a certified banger. The standout bangers of this game that are pushed in marketing are mostly recycled. A Beautiful Song and Bipolar Nightmare are sometimes pushed, but the main trifecta that was used in marketing was Grandma - Destruction, Emil - Despair, and Song of the Ancients - Atonement. Two of these tracks are really good (SotA-A is just a worse SotA-Fate if you ask me), don't get me wrong, but it's sad that the keynote songs are remixes as compared to something original.
Automata has some good original songs, like A Beautiful Song, Voice of No Return, and City Ruins, but the game's strongest original tracks are nowhere near as strong as Nier's strongest tracks. Alien Manifestation, for example, is a good track, but nowhere near as good as Snow in Summer for getting you into the mood and atmosphere of the game.
I will probably rewrite this at some point. It's 2:10 AM as I write this and I'm spitballing hard, so I apologize if this is hard to read. However, my judgment still stands that Nier: Automata was heavily disappointing to me on so many facets. I know I'm in a laughably small minority with not liking this game. Few are the number of games that I cannot bring myself to beat. Sadly, Automata must join that list.
4/10 - A game with subpar gameplay, a story that failed to get me interested, and a much weaker soundtrack than its predecessor that fails to have completely original flagship tracks. There's definitely a bid at making a quality game here, especially with the visual presentation, but it doesn't subtract from my immense disappointment at this game.
Cry of Fear
2013
Cuánto importa cuándo jugamos algo, el tiempo, el lugar, el contexto, con quien lo hacemos. Probé Cry Of Fear a los 13 años, cuando el juego estaba en Beta. Todavía en esa época no estaba bien implementada la traducción a otros idiomas en el juego y como mi ingles estaba re crudo no entendía nada. Pero quise seguir jugando porque habré leído por ahí que es un juego parecido a Silent Hill. No me gustó para nada y lo desinstalé a la media hora.
Yo de chico tenía una afición especial a ese tipo de juegos. Iba a un parque recreativo y me lo imaginaba como un mapa de survival horror. Lo mismo cuando iba a visitar la casa de un familiar, con mi escuela, con mi barrio. Se me cruzaba mucho por la cabeza hacer un juego de terror con elementos familiares para mí.
El tiempo pasó, a los 17 años se me ocurrió intentar recrear Silent Hill 1 en otro motor. No hice nada.
En el punto más bajo de mi vida, un poco más recientemente, intenté empezar a tocar música y tampoco logré nada. Me sinceré conmigo mismo, yo quería hacer un juego de terror, era mi sueño de joven. Planifiqué y mapee algunos bocetos e ideas. El protagonista iba a ser alguien lesionado en silla de ruedas, y que toda la jugabilidad ronde alrededor de eso. Tampoco llegó a nada.
Hablar de estas cosas me da miedo, siento que llamo a que vuelvan a suceder.
Cry of Fear me hizo pensar mucho, tras sus cuestionables decisiones veo algo que me atrapa. Que me hace querer terminarlo. Siento que es el juego que yo habría hecho en otra vida.
Cry of Fear me hace viajar, con sus texturas realistas, con sus ambientes liminales (Puedo sentir que el diseñador recreó en el juego muchos escenarios reales), con sus referencias tan vulgares y explicitas, con esa onda de creepypasta y esa ternura de hacer un juego propio modeando Half-Life. Con las limitaciones que eso conlleva. Lo crudo y tosco que se siente todo, las hitboxes y cajas de colisión no tan pulidas, muros invisibles y pantallas de carga por doquier. Es una nobleza ¿Cómo no voy a sentir ternura al ver tanto esfuerzo y dedicación? Desde 2008 el equipo estuvo trabajando en un juego que para mí sería una idea esporádica, un venazo momentáneo que se esfuma a los pocos días. Y acá lo tenés, un juego que con todos sus fallos logra ser algo competente y que me retrae tanto a mi juventud.
Es difícil de no admirar, por cada mala decisión te pone una idea brillante. Tras el aburrido sistema de guardado te deja un inventario limitado a conciencia y que te obliga a dejar recursos importantes atrás. Tras el aburrido diseño de enemigos te deja un sistema de disparo con buen retroceso y que recargar supone perder todas las balas que quedaron en el cargador. Y así podría seguir (Aunque quiero recalcar una decisión muy hija de puta que es poner un slider de brillo falso. Me encantó esa).
Lo que me hizo tener ganas de escribirle a este juego, aparte de su estética postmoderna urbanista (que ya me llevaba un poco a esa fantasía de juego que tenía desde la juventud), fue su final. Se revela que el protagonista quedó lisiado tras un accidente y todo lo que ocurre es en realidad una historia que él mismo escribió en un libro. El final es el protagonista real, en silla de ruedas, teniendo que combatir a su "yo" del libro en una batalla desigual. Se imaginarán como me llegó eso.
Al final aunque en otro momento desinstalé el juego a la media hora, me pregunto qué hubiera pasado si lo hubiera terminado en ese momento. Seguro no me habría hecho pensar tanto, pero tal vez me habría avivado de muchas cosas, que yo no era tan original. Ni Silent Hill por lo que veo, porque las secciones tan horrendas de escapar en espacios irreales y terroríficos que tiene este juego, luego fueron usadas para Silent Hill Downpour.
Jugando esto de grande noto que cada vez cuesta más no ver las cuerdas que hilan todo, los scripts, los triggers de sonido, el respawn de enemigos. Pero es también porque crecí.
Terminar Cry of Fear me hace cerrar una etapa de mi vida, me hace ver cuanto crecí. Hace que el futuro cada vez se vea con más claridad. Me pone los pies en la tierra.
Yo de chico tenía una afición especial a ese tipo de juegos. Iba a un parque recreativo y me lo imaginaba como un mapa de survival horror. Lo mismo cuando iba a visitar la casa de un familiar, con mi escuela, con mi barrio. Se me cruzaba mucho por la cabeza hacer un juego de terror con elementos familiares para mí.
El tiempo pasó, a los 17 años se me ocurrió intentar recrear Silent Hill 1 en otro motor. No hice nada.
En el punto más bajo de mi vida, un poco más recientemente, intenté empezar a tocar música y tampoco logré nada. Me sinceré conmigo mismo, yo quería hacer un juego de terror, era mi sueño de joven. Planifiqué y mapee algunos bocetos e ideas. El protagonista iba a ser alguien lesionado en silla de ruedas, y que toda la jugabilidad ronde alrededor de eso. Tampoco llegó a nada.
Hablar de estas cosas me da miedo, siento que llamo a que vuelvan a suceder.
Cry of Fear me hizo pensar mucho, tras sus cuestionables decisiones veo algo que me atrapa. Que me hace querer terminarlo. Siento que es el juego que yo habría hecho en otra vida.
Cry of Fear me hace viajar, con sus texturas realistas, con sus ambientes liminales (Puedo sentir que el diseñador recreó en el juego muchos escenarios reales), con sus referencias tan vulgares y explicitas, con esa onda de creepypasta y esa ternura de hacer un juego propio modeando Half-Life. Con las limitaciones que eso conlleva. Lo crudo y tosco que se siente todo, las hitboxes y cajas de colisión no tan pulidas, muros invisibles y pantallas de carga por doquier. Es una nobleza ¿Cómo no voy a sentir ternura al ver tanto esfuerzo y dedicación? Desde 2008 el equipo estuvo trabajando en un juego que para mí sería una idea esporádica, un venazo momentáneo que se esfuma a los pocos días. Y acá lo tenés, un juego que con todos sus fallos logra ser algo competente y que me retrae tanto a mi juventud.
Es difícil de no admirar, por cada mala decisión te pone una idea brillante. Tras el aburrido sistema de guardado te deja un inventario limitado a conciencia y que te obliga a dejar recursos importantes atrás. Tras el aburrido diseño de enemigos te deja un sistema de disparo con buen retroceso y que recargar supone perder todas las balas que quedaron en el cargador. Y así podría seguir (Aunque quiero recalcar una decisión muy hija de puta que es poner un slider de brillo falso. Me encantó esa).
Lo que me hizo tener ganas de escribirle a este juego, aparte de su estética postmoderna urbanista (que ya me llevaba un poco a esa fantasía de juego que tenía desde la juventud), fue su final. Se revela que el protagonista quedó lisiado tras un accidente y todo lo que ocurre es en realidad una historia que él mismo escribió en un libro. El final es el protagonista real, en silla de ruedas, teniendo que combatir a su "yo" del libro en una batalla desigual. Se imaginarán como me llegó eso.
Al final aunque en otro momento desinstalé el juego a la media hora, me pregunto qué hubiera pasado si lo hubiera terminado en ese momento. Seguro no me habría hecho pensar tanto, pero tal vez me habría avivado de muchas cosas, que yo no era tan original. Ni Silent Hill por lo que veo, porque las secciones tan horrendas de escapar en espacios irreales y terroríficos que tiene este juego, luego fueron usadas para Silent Hill Downpour.
Jugando esto de grande noto que cada vez cuesta más no ver las cuerdas que hilan todo, los scripts, los triggers de sonido, el respawn de enemigos. Pero es también porque crecí.
Terminar Cry of Fear me hace cerrar una etapa de mi vida, me hace ver cuanto crecí. Hace que el futuro cada vez se vea con más claridad. Me pone los pies en la tierra.
Super Mario Sunshine
2020
mario sunshine ended up being one of my least favorite types of games - one that has a ton of stuff i really enjoyed, yet bogs itself down with so much dumb shit that i end up hating it. i don't mean that in the sense of "oh there's one level that made me so pissed that it poisoned my experience" i mean that it's genuinely frustrating how this game takes such an incredible concept and just drowns it in shit.
first off, i fucking love fludd. it adds so much to the way mario controls that i barely realize he's missing shit like long jumping. hovering, squirting water on the ground and sliding on it, tap spraying the shit out of shadow mario... it's so damn cool, dude. mario sunshine is at its best when you're actually able to do some sick ass platforming and use fludd to its fullest potential.
so why the fuck does the game insist on limiting your use of fludd as much as it possibly can? whether it be through fluddless platforming levels or other stupid ass gimmick shines where you're playing slots instead of actually bing bing wahooing around, sunshine fucking neuters their gimmick by making sure you're hardly ever using it. this is where sunshine just falls flat on its ass - without fludd, you realize that mario controls like utter dogshit. the left stick is so sensitive that barely tapping it will make him sprint right off the edge of a level, sometimes he'll just clip through shit or become way more slippery than he usually is, and with no way to correct your jumps it really brings to light how much the game relies on fludd.
what's worse is that this game gets fucking demolished by the way it's structured - instead of having free reign over which shines you can get to complete the game, it makes you play through every single level up to shadow mario. this means that you're required to hit at least like, 70% of the game's horrible levels. sand bird, goopy inferno, the chuckster level, bum-ass ricco harbor red coins, all of these are required to beat the fucking game. it's not like mario 64 where you have relative free reign over the order in which you do shit. over and over this game just shoots itself in the foot by making you go through some of its worst section and not letting you just fucking. play the levels you want to play.
there are a few other gripes i have too. blue coins are fucking stupid and there's not really any way to easily track which ones you have, so im never gonna feel incentivized to go for 100%. also, since so many levels have multiple stupid gimmick/fluddless shines, a lot of them don't really live up to their potential as Platforming Levels. like, most stages will usually have one section where You Gotta Platform, and the rest is just filler space to find red/blue coins.
and this is all a god damn shame, because there's parts of sunshine that i really like! even though there's not as much platforming as i would have liked, i think every stage still hits it out of the park (except maybe pianta village). they all manage to be fun and unique despite their similar island theming. the soundtrack is top notch, the aesthetic is great, i love all the wacky-ass enemy designs and it makes me sad that we'll probably never see them again. i 100% understand why people love this game, and it makes me sad that i find it so frustrating that i can't love it the same way. i promise i'm not trying to be a contrarian hater in this review, it genuinely pains me that there was so much dumbo shit that held me back from loving this game.
first off, i fucking love fludd. it adds so much to the way mario controls that i barely realize he's missing shit like long jumping. hovering, squirting water on the ground and sliding on it, tap spraying the shit out of shadow mario... it's so damn cool, dude. mario sunshine is at its best when you're actually able to do some sick ass platforming and use fludd to its fullest potential.
so why the fuck does the game insist on limiting your use of fludd as much as it possibly can? whether it be through fluddless platforming levels or other stupid ass gimmick shines where you're playing slots instead of actually bing bing wahooing around, sunshine fucking neuters their gimmick by making sure you're hardly ever using it. this is where sunshine just falls flat on its ass - without fludd, you realize that mario controls like utter dogshit. the left stick is so sensitive that barely tapping it will make him sprint right off the edge of a level, sometimes he'll just clip through shit or become way more slippery than he usually is, and with no way to correct your jumps it really brings to light how much the game relies on fludd.
what's worse is that this game gets fucking demolished by the way it's structured - instead of having free reign over which shines you can get to complete the game, it makes you play through every single level up to shadow mario. this means that you're required to hit at least like, 70% of the game's horrible levels. sand bird, goopy inferno, the chuckster level, bum-ass ricco harbor red coins, all of these are required to beat the fucking game. it's not like mario 64 where you have relative free reign over the order in which you do shit. over and over this game just shoots itself in the foot by making you go through some of its worst section and not letting you just fucking. play the levels you want to play.
there are a few other gripes i have too. blue coins are fucking stupid and there's not really any way to easily track which ones you have, so im never gonna feel incentivized to go for 100%. also, since so many levels have multiple stupid gimmick/fluddless shines, a lot of them don't really live up to their potential as Platforming Levels. like, most stages will usually have one section where You Gotta Platform, and the rest is just filler space to find red/blue coins.
and this is all a god damn shame, because there's parts of sunshine that i really like! even though there's not as much platforming as i would have liked, i think every stage still hits it out of the park (except maybe pianta village). they all manage to be fun and unique despite their similar island theming. the soundtrack is top notch, the aesthetic is great, i love all the wacky-ass enemy designs and it makes me sad that we'll probably never see them again. i 100% understand why people love this game, and it makes me sad that i find it so frustrating that i can't love it the same way. i promise i'm not trying to be a contrarian hater in this review, it genuinely pains me that there was so much dumbo shit that held me back from loving this game.
Mario Kart DS
2005
I sacrificed this Virtual Console port to hack my Wii U.
My mom came in to tell me that she and my dad were getting a divorce in the middle of me fighting Xehanort. I just paused the game and listened, and when she left, I unpaused and continued the fight.
Horizon Zero Dawn
2017
insanely overrated
Dragon City
2012
GOAT