Played for a half hour and the store tried to cram a bunch of cosmetic items down my face like its news and I played the most braindead tutorial in a while. I queue into a casual game and its all bots except for like 1 other person, one of the bots is clearly cheating on the enemy team so there's no point. Somebody tries to kick me for scamming but I can't even talk in the chat to defend myself, 'Voice Chat not activated on this account' or something but at least theres no players there to vote it through. As the game continues the bots dwindle away to just me and this one other person who seems especially bad at the game so I get a few kills on them. Round ends, bots refill in the lobby, one of them is also blasting a really loud Cocteau Twins song for some reason. This is what I have to play until I win at least 10 games and then maybe possibly competitive is better.

Look usually I don't write these sort of short off the cuff sarcastic reviews but somebody is going to look through and see I hated TF2 and wonder why, this is why. Why would I put up with any of this shit when TF2 Classic is right there? It's insane I'm sitting here and reading the high praise on this game from people I respect a lot (DoctorQuark, Bojangles, etc.) and just feel totally disconnected from it. I think Valve through pure disinterest basically lobotomized the game and left a husk for at least the new player experience. If anybody wants to play TF2 Classic hmu, if anybody wants to play TF2 get your eyeballs checked cause holy shit depressing doesnt even begin to convey the buzzard picked corpse I just had to experience. Genuinely distressing, but at least TF2 Classic functions as a nice time capsule.

Here's a fun fact about this game, outside of a short demo it is assumed that the game never got a full release on PC. Telegames claims the game went out to stores but no one has found a physical copy of it and there's no download links for it on the internet. The GBA version is the best you're gonna get. The game plays like Wolfenstein 3D with some extra mechanics like rescuing people and interacting with computer terminals. Seeing 3D on the GBA is impressive but the game is not the greatest. Unless you're taking a deep dive of the GBA library or have a fondness for FPS games showing up on unusual platforms, it's best to skip this.