15 Reviews liked by Vrabec


Me when my parents get divorced in real life (tears up)! Let's go!

its like brotherhood but made by monkeys! and bwi'ish

cant wait for zoomers with an attention span of 30 seconds to say this game is boring because they had to watch a 2 minute cutscene telling them not to be a fucking moron.

pretty solid reskin of simpsons hit and run. i like all the birds a lot

i played it early thanks to being a warner bros partner and i can confirm there are at least 4 sex scenes with harley quinn and the weasel

basically the same game as the first but the story is worse.

at least i dont have to play as MJ

This review contains spoilers

Perfection, or close to it.

The graphics are beautiful, the music feels like its resonating off my very bones, the boss fights are memorable as hell. The story for what it is, is phenomenal. For all you lore freaks out there it offers even more. Theres so much to this little game its unbelievable at times, and the extra DLC content adds so much more to an already beautiful game. ESPECIALLY the godslayer DLC. By god. Perfecting every boss on radiance was one of the most exciting feelings I've had in a long time. The pantheons are so unbelievably fun too. I can't say enough for this game. It's the sole reason I got into metroidvanias and I need to say again. Christopher Larkin on this soundtrack was unreal. Pure Vessel is the rawest videogame track I've ever had the pleasure of hearing in-game. That secret boss was bone chilling. I love this game so much it hurts. Everything I write makes me remember another 3 I forgot to mention.

DLC for a racist white people game

Amazing visuals and soundtrack. The gameplay can be frustrating at times due to RNG-elements, but is solid otherwise.

no joke this game taught my dumb american brain the metric system

I love this game!!

A Lot of people say "oh the Batmobile takes up 60% of the game" First off I still find the Batmobile fun to use and second that is simply not true. The Boy Aqua (I would check his video out) said he recorded his whole 100% playthrough of this game only using it when necessary and it only took up 19% of the game.

Even then, the stealth and the combat are practically flawless, and I still thought it was a damn good story

Assassin's Creed Valhalla... on the one hand I was looking forward to it, on the other hand I kept putting it off. Short backstory, which may have a significant impact on my rating:

I'm an AC fan from the beginning and have played through every main game to 100%. I'm only finished when the map is empty. Therefore, on principle, I do not want to stop doing this when I play a new AC. However, this is becoming more and more of an ordeal, and I've come close a few times to wondering if I'll ever touch an AC again.

This is possibly going to be a somewhat lengthy review, so I'll try to split it up a bit: Let's start

Graphics: Okay, let's start with the biggest strength right away. I deliberately put the game off until I could call a next gen console my own. Furthermore, my TV got an upgrade so I can enjoy 4k and the new generation consoles. This is where Valhalla shines. The game comes along in the Origins and Odyssey manner, huge open world that was designed with insane attention to detail. The developers really put a lot of effort into it, as you can see from the text logs and the discovery tour. So, there's absolutely nothing to complain about here.

Soundtrack / Atmosphere: Again, as usual, great work. An excellent soundtrack supports the visual impressions and actively helps with the wow effect.

Gameplay: Okay, now it's getting more difficult, I'll try to take the gameplay apart a bit:

Starting with the difficulty level. The developers didn't manage to adjust the difficulty level accordingly, with your own skills. Either you needed up to 7 hits for an easy opponent, or a single blow was enough for a difficult opponent. I had to keep changing the difficulty level on my own, and even then, the fights rarely felt really good.

The main story is divided into the different areas. I found this to be basically a good way to get the player into the different regions. However, the game loses its pace that way. The brother gets kidnapped and after that you're just doing something completely different somewhere for a long time. This seems a bit unbelievable. First and foremost, it's about gathering allies so that you have enough people to free the brother in the first place. However, this only seems like a cheap excuse for the length, because apart from a few leaders and kings, you don't really have more warriors at your disposal than in a normal siege. Also, the confrontation with Dag felt like it was only put in to show that not everyone agrees that Eivor is obviously doing anything but saving his brother. And he's right about that. The length would still be okay, though, if there was some variety in it. But that's not the case. In most cases, we must look for a successor to the throne, win a siege or liberate a city from the Order. All in all, you repeat the same thing repeatedly, which becomes very monotonous after a while.

There are many different side missions and not all of them are equally bad. Stacking stones was actually very challenging at times and a nice change of pace. The stone pictures were unnecessary, enough said about that. Toadstools could be interesting but could also be annoying. The alpha animals would have been good but at a certain point I was just too well equipped so I could do them without the slightest problems. Was probably not the opinion to play like me. Events of the world are little mini stories that I honestly didn't think were that bad. Oh yeah, and the altars were annoying too. Then there were the tombs, which seemed out of place somehow. Like a part from a Tomb Raider game. The parkour parts, on the other hand, I liked a lot, as this reminded me a bit more of the beginnings of AC.
Collecting was like always in Ubisoft games. The map is littered with all kinds of resources. It is certainly not necessary to collect everything. The weapons and armor can be done but the rest is actually more or less superfluous. I've never liked it and I won't anymore. But the worst were the opals. More about that later.

Improving armor and weapons wouldn't be necessary. It would be better to just get a weapon or armor and when you get a better one, use that one. Upgrading and downgrading as well as equipping with runes rarely played a decisive role but took a lot of time in the first place. But then all the resources you collect would have no raison d'être (which I would prefer, by the way) but what do I know.

Expansions:
I liked Ireland for a short time because of the druids, but I found the new goods unnecessary.

France played big in the story. For me, one of the best moments in the game was the battle for Paris. But again, there were missions you had to complete to buy everything.

Ragnarok was visually insane. I also found the new abilities, especially flying and the new enemies refreshingly varied. Only but huge minus point. The boasts. Why exactly do I have to play the exact same story x times to buy everything? Seriously Ubisoft? You guys can do better than that.

River raids: I HATE river raids. High replay value my ass. To buy everything you must raid the same forts over and over again. Then there were even 3 more rivers, and the crap started all over again. The worst I have ever seen in an AC. Oh yeah and you can't save, I'll get to that in a minute too.

Master challenges: To get 1000 points on all of them, you almost had to memorize the level. In a game like this, that's frustrating since you're already pumping in so much time otherwise. Basically, it would have been a nice idea though. But again, too much

Bugs:
Now we come to what made me rage quit several times.
1. resetting the opals (happened 2 times) Already collected opals are thrown out of the inventory and back onto the map after restarting the game. I had to collect a total of about 100 opals twice.

2. crashing of the game (happened several times) The game crashed only when I was on a river raid, without a possibility to save and preferably after a playtime of 40 minutes +. Hair-raising stuff I tell you.

3. stuck or glitching behind models. (Happened at least 6 times) So if I get stuck in a mountain or in a house wall, then I just load a quick travel point and have to make the way there again, there are worse things. But what if this happens on a river raid without a fast travel point? Right... 40 minutes + are gone.

4. armor from the store is not recognized after restarting the game: I start the game, load my save, Eivor loads onto the map and is naked, My armor and weapons from the store are gone. Great. Fortunately, this could be fixed by reloading the game.

Conclusion:
I want to like AC Valhalla, I really do... But due to the sheer length, the eternal repetition of things and the partly unbearable bugs I desperately wish for an AC II back. A city with linear missions. Or at least a further development. The new face of AC has pleased me with Origins still very good, but already sucked in Odyssey. But as one hears so Ubisoft always wants to be only bigger and longer. At least the 100% I will probably give up.

playing as catwoman in 2011 was my gay awakening actually

why am I doing puzzle platforming in a tank