cars2killcount
105 Reviews liked by cars2killcount
The Guy Game
2004
The Guy Game
2004
The Guy Game
2004
Pantsylvania
1995
frustratingly both really fun and too difficult and luck dependent for me to really get into. the game does a REALLY good job at making you want to beat it, though, by making the enemy robots look like the stupidest fucking assholes. make no mistake: they fucked your girlfriend AND your mother and have FULL intentions of continuing to do so. you just NEED to destroy them so bad and every time you lose they snicker right at your face and would probably start teabagging you if this was a different kind of game.
yellow bean looks like the nerd emoji
yellow bean looks like the nerd emoji
Garten of Banban 3
2023
I am under the assumption that some friends on the site were in a vc for Garten of Banban 2 and while I wasn't there for that I did see this one in an unrelated group and I felt like I was slowly dying in quicksand
Garten of Banban 3
2023
Captivatingly bad through it's entire playtime. The hindenburg disaster for kid's horror, "Oh the kid humanity". I actually finished this a week ago (I think, memory's hazy) but I needed to play something that didn't bring horrible migraines to me to cope. There are spoilers for the final boss on this review, if you care about it.
Hilarously paced so you can't refund it, with elevators taking a minute on average to get you from one point to another with 0 dialogue or ambient sound and puzzles taking a caucasoidic amount of time to complete and never hesitating to throw you back to the beginning if you fail at them (or the game decides you did). Whatever gameplay there actually feels designed to be as nefarious as possible to the player, reusing one of the worst puzzles I ever played on the previous game but making it actually worse, and then repeated it again. It felt a lot like Samsara, in a way. Shoutout to that puzzle where you have to find blocks in a room and then put everything back in place before the green bastard comes back, they somehow made it so obtuse and difficult I had to retry it multiple times. And the "final boss" oh my god the final boss, screeching alongside the wet fart noise on the soundboard my torturers decided to bring alone this play and throwing you an untextured blue orb that kills you if you are on the same platform, and then bounces in a clearly not intended pattern. The boss is also untextured.
It supposedly has a story, but I was being spammed with sounds to a dissorienting degree. The car ride for example (which is hilarious and I genuinely think you should experience all the games to feel it) was being drowned by the trap remix of Everywhere at the End of Time on repeat, making me question my decision to be closer to people.
Really, this time the sound was unbearable with Laura Palmer farting alongside Gordon Ramsay telling me to end myself reverberating on my headphones (I'm accepting donations to replace them. They aren't broken but are forever cursed by this experience).
Please leave your kids alone in a room with an ipad with access to a youtube playlist full of people playing this game. We will be coming back for Banban 4, unless my PC mysteriously gets hit by an axe repeatedly.
Hilarously paced so you can't refund it, with elevators taking a minute on average to get you from one point to another with 0 dialogue or ambient sound and puzzles taking a caucasoidic amount of time to complete and never hesitating to throw you back to the beginning if you fail at them (or the game decides you did). Whatever gameplay there actually feels designed to be as nefarious as possible to the player, reusing one of the worst puzzles I ever played on the previous game but making it actually worse, and then repeated it again. It felt a lot like Samsara, in a way. Shoutout to that puzzle where you have to find blocks in a room and then put everything back in place before the green bastard comes back, they somehow made it so obtuse and difficult I had to retry it multiple times. And the "final boss" oh my god the final boss, screeching alongside the wet fart noise on the soundboard my torturers decided to bring alone this play and throwing you an untextured blue orb that kills you if you are on the same platform, and then bounces in a clearly not intended pattern. The boss is also untextured.
It supposedly has a story, but I was being spammed with sounds to a dissorienting degree. The car ride for example (which is hilarious and I genuinely think you should experience all the games to feel it) was being drowned by the trap remix of Everywhere at the End of Time on repeat, making me question my decision to be closer to people.
Really, this time the sound was unbearable with Laura Palmer farting alongside Gordon Ramsay telling me to end myself reverberating on my headphones (I'm accepting donations to replace them. They aren't broken but are forever cursed by this experience).
Please leave your kids alone in a room with an ipad with access to a youtube playlist full of people playing this game. We will be coming back for Banban 4, unless my PC mysteriously gets hit by an axe repeatedly.
Garten of Banban 3
2023
F O O T D I V E
HARD KICK
M O L E C U L A R S H I E L D
GRAVITY SQUEEZE. HAHAHAHAHAH.
YOU.
ARE.
DEFEATED.
EAT THIS! YOU LIKE THAT? GRAVOMETRIC PULSE...ENERGY JAVELIN ENERGY JAVELIN ENERGY JAVELIN ENERGY JAVELIN
HUUUUMAN...ROCKET PUNCH
SUCK ON THIS
EAT LEAD
LOADING GRENADE.....OPEN FIRE
YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE
BOLTS. of. BALLSACK
N O W I M M O T I V A T E D
BY ODIN'S BEARD....MIGHTY TORNADO
JOHNNY BLAZE RIDES AGAIN
THAT'S ALL I NEED
HARD KICK
M O L E C U L A R S H I E L D
GRAVITY SQUEEZE. HAHAHAHAHAH.
YOU.
ARE.
DEFEATED.
EAT THIS! YOU LIKE THAT? GRAVOMETRIC PULSE...ENERGY JAVELIN ENERGY JAVELIN ENERGY JAVELIN ENERGY JAVELIN
HUUUUMAN...ROCKET PUNCH
SUCK ON THIS
EAT LEAD
LOADING GRENADE.....OPEN FIRE
YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE
BOLTS. of. BALLSACK
N O W I M M O T I V A T E D
BY ODIN'S BEARD....MIGHTY TORNADO
JOHNNY BLAZE RIDES AGAIN
THAT'S ALL I NEED