this really is just vampire survivors but good huh

this actually happened to me btw

danganronpa v3 ending get behind me.... ill handle this...

my dad died while i was playing this unfortunately

I HAVE THE BODY OF A PIG

I probably played thousands of hours of this game when I was a kid, I think I probably got a huge amount of achievements iirc too, which makes me wonder how the hell I didn't absolutely hate this game as a kid.

I guess to start off I should mention that I really like playing this game for some reason, almost everything in the game, the music, the humour, and the characters are so obviously a product of 2006 and I really like it. Even though I also really like Dead Rising 2, I always appreciate this games more muted setting of a regular American mall compared to DR2's Las Vegas Strip/Mall hybrid, which is cool but can feel over the top sometimes.

I think my main gripe with this game is how everything feels like a chore, I do like games that are purposely hard, and obviously a zombie apocalypse would not be an easy scenario to survive in, but doing anything in this game just feels so absolutely maddening I really just can't enjoy it. Rescuing survivors in this game is actually one of the worst things I have experienced in a game, I do like it's harder than Dead Rising 2's which basically made survivors one man armies but at the same time having to babysit survivors while on a time limit to do the story and rescue other survivors is incredibly stressful and often leaves no downtime to actually explore the mall to find the secrets they laid everywhere. Again, I appreciate that this game is harder than the extremely easy Dead Rising 2 but it often honestly feels like the game is hard because the survivors are stupid and zombies grab you like you're a magnet, rather than anything else in the game.

The game is fun though, all things considered. Maybe it's just nostalgia though, and I'll admit a lot of it is just I really really love the feel of the game.

2002

traffic simulator with italian people

minnesota fats pool legend

I've always been torn on how actually good this game is because its story is incredibly interesting while at the same time being extremely stupid soemtimes. Its gameplay is fun but at the same time gets incredibly boring very fast.

In This is the Police you play as Jack Boyd, a police chief in a city called "Freeburg" and if that doesn't tell you what kind of message the game is trying to get across then the first few events in the story certainly will, with your first choice basically being how hard you want to sell out to the Mafia, which is inevitable either way.

Even though I kinda made fun of it there it's actually a really interesting story. It's essentially about how the institution of the police turns even the most well-intentioned cops into horrible people some way or another. How the position of Police Chief is always going to ripe with corruption in one way or another. And how Jack's ambitions of power and bitterness turn him into an increasingly horrible person, as well as showing that he may never have been as a good of a person as he thought he was.

I think compared to its sequel it definitely has a huge leg-up narrative and storywise. The second game is almost completely character focused, set in a smaller town in Minnesota. This is fine, the story is good enough in that game, but it just doesn't manage to match this games experience imo.

The main reason I feel this way is because the city is really well made, it feels like through the calls and investigations you can feel the issues the city is facing without it actually being explained to you. It paints a picture of the city without you ever having to actually see it for the most part. It's an experience which you realy don't get in the second game.

That being said, the dialogue doesn't always land too well, it obviously takes influence from a lot of movies and such, but every once in a while it feels like Jack Boyd is a bit too much like a movie character. Also cutscenes feel a bit slow sometimes, either the amount of dialogue or simply the pacing of the cutscene.

The main problem with this game is that its gameplay is kinda boring, especially for how long it is, something the second game definitely improved on dramatically. In this game you send cops out on calls, sometimes you need to help them, sometimes they'll need to call in the SWAT team, but every time it's pretty much the same. It's fun for a while, definitely not for the many hours long this game is.

tbh I only wrote a review on this game at all because it's a game I think about a lot for some reason, it's definitely worht checking out if it sounds interesting to you




this game is a cop game made by somehow one of the worst cops, but like, it's really funny

This review contains spoilers

I put my status as Played because even though I'm not gonna stop playing the game yet I can't say I'm really eager to finish it, I've done all the optional areas and I'm at the Capital city at the time of writing this, which if I'm correct there's only one area past it. I usually also don't like writing long reviews cause I feel like I look like a nerd but this game really gave me a lot of feelings I need to get out.

I'm glad so many people can have fun with this game, and I do sometimes, all things considered it's a very pretty game with some cool looking enemies and occasionally good bosses but the farther into the game I got exploration became more boring and the more I realised this game is almost entirely just recycled things. The area just before the Capital city, Altus Plateau only has like one new enemy and really only one unique location, the entire area other than Windmill Village is entirely just filler.

The game has a lot of Catacombs and Caves to explore, which initially I was very excited for, the most fun I had in the game was in Limgrave at the start going aorund the map and seeing all the new enemies and things to explore, but once you get later into the game you realise that all the bosses you saw in Limgrave and the Weeping Peninsula, are reused later in the game, repeatedly. Erdtree Watchdog and Cemetery Shade were two bosses I found in Catacombs in Limgrave and really enjoyed them, they're not too hard but they're really cool designs and fun to fight, until later in the game where Erdtree Watchdog is reused 5 times in total, and Cemetery Shade is reused 3 times. I'm pretty sure there's not a single Cave or Catacomb boss which isn't reused somewhere, usually multiple times.

Even actually major bosses who you need to fight the game are reused occasionally, Godefroy the Grafted, who's supposed to be one of Godrick's ancestors is just Godrick in actually every way, even the voice actor and design. The Red Wolf of Radagon is reused in some dungeon for some reason. Some actually named bosses can just be found in random places as enemies (which nromally is fine, but the amount this game does it is a bit much). Almost every dragon in the game has the exact same moveset.

You could argue that this has happened in previous games, in Dark Souls it was truly a disappointment to arrive in Demon Ruins to be filled with Capra Demons and Asylum Demons, and in Dark Souls II it was certainly disappointing to get to Drangleic Castle and be confronted with two Dragonrider knights as the boss. However, no Souls game does it to this amount, at first I excused it because of how big Elden Ring is it seems worse, but it's beyond that. Where I am in the game I can't think of anything I discovered in Limgrave that I haven't seen multiple times now.

On the topic of bosses, there's really only a handful of bosses I can say that I actually truly enjoyed so far, you can argue that I haven't finished the game so I haven't seen all the game has to offer, and that's fair, I do plan to see what's past the the capital soon, but so far into the game I can say that even bosses which are unique aren't even particularly very good. Godrick the Grafted is probably my favourite boss in the game, he's an incredibly interesting guy and Stormveil Castle is probably the best area of the game. Rennala the Queen of the Full Moon's first phase is incredibly interesting, hearing the choir of the girls while dodging all their shit is hectic, it's unfortunate that her second phase, even if extremely pretty, just completely changes the mood of the fight from the melancholic mood into a regular boss who's mad at you in their second phase.

Most bosses are just going to be rolling, R1, rolling R1, if you're using melee. Initially I was excited to see shields become more of a prominent thing, until you realise that the new shield mechanics are completely worthless and mid-late game every boss fight is going to do repeated massive aoe or repeated strike attacks that will completely break your stamina and leave you open for attack all the time so there's no point in even having one unless you want to parry. I guess my experience was stifled by the fact that just recently I learned I was using a melee only build, which is apparently underpowered according to a lot of people. Unfortunately I don't have the strength or patience to just respec into a magic build at the end of the game.

I've been told a few times that I'd have more fun if I just moved on once I got bored exploring an area, this would be true if almost every area wasn't exactly the same. Almost every structure in the game is exactly the same, every church, ruin, tower functions exactly the same. In the games defence, every once in a while you will find a cool place called legacy dungeons, which are areas that work the way regular Souls games do, some of these are required like Stormveil and Raya Lucaria and sometimes you'll find a smaller one like Caria Manour or Shaded Castle. These areas are absolutely some of the best areas in the game, and usually have an actually unique boss to fight at the end.
This really makes me wonder why the game is even open world in the first place, the open world is simply an area filled with random crafting items which you'll likely never use, is sparsely populated with NPC's which are fairly rare past Limgrave and really only serves to bring you from one place to the next. You can really just cut out half the things in this game without losing anything of value at all. One of the biggest new features was the horse, but with basically nothing to do in the world and horse combat really not being that fun (at least in my opinion, many people seem to like it though so idk).

I need to make it clear that yes, you do have the option to just simply ignore areas and most bosses you don't want to see, but you really don't. This is where more than half the games content is, Tunnels are where all the upgrade materials are, catacombs and caves and ruins are where you'll find the majority of your wepaons, spells, and ashes. You need the runes these bosses give you, this game is designed around you just going spelunking into skyrim dungeons to acquire random shit to fight a boss you've seen times before.

I mentioned earlier how few NPC's there are in this game, after Limgrave the amount of interactions you'll be having with people outside of the hubs of Volcano Manour and Roundtable Hold is extremely low. It feels like there's a similar amount of NPC's as there were in Dark Souls, which doesn't work with such a giant world. Especially in Souls 1, while not having a huge amount of people, there was always at least one guy you'd find in the most fucked up places to be, barring the guy in the shack in Caelid, and the guy making prawn in Liurnia, past Limgrave you're not gonna find many guys.

To give the game credit, there certainly were many characters who I at least enjoyed. First meeting the jar guy was a fun experience, and Ranni's quest and the Volcano Manour quest were certainly fun. This may sound dumb but sometimes I feel like Ranni's quest may be a bit too good, as it kinda made me realise how kinda lame everyone elses is. Also almost every quest in the game ends in the character dying. To name a few examples, Boc the Seamster's quest gives you a friendly little guy who'll alter your garments at certain grace points, eventually he'll ask you for something, you do it, and he dies. Thops the mage is a guy you can find just after Stormveil, he'll ask for a key to Raya Lucaria, you give him the key and he just dies. Gowry, the only named NPC in Caelid other than Millicent dies.

You could argue that this happened in Dark Souls as well, and you'd kinda be right. I think the main issue of Elden Ring is that the quests are simply just way too obtuse, and don't work well at all in Elden Ring's open world. Dark Souls quests are also famously obtuse and weird, usually just having to speak to a guy at one area and meet him at the next. The problem is, this non-linear open world game Elden Ring does the exact same thing, you'll talk to a guy, he'll say he'll meet you later, and he could be actually fucking anywhere. If I ever do meet the guy again I really can't remember who the hell he is because I last time talked to him for a few minutes 15 hours of game ago.

It's also worth noting that many questlines are currently just unfinished, I'll remove this if people later find out they aren't and just super obscure, but Kenneth Haight, Nepheli Loux, and Gostoc the Gatekeeper all have quests which you can start and simply not end.

Overall, the lack of NPC's and terrible questlines just leaves the game feeling empty. I never had the feeling that anyone actually lived anywhere but Volcano Manour, Roundtable and Gowry's Shack. I never had the feeling there were other adventurers just like the player roaming the world, doing their own goals. It's just a big empty world. You could argue this goes with the whole sorta, ruined shitty place in despair vibe, but I feel like Dark Souls had that vibe extremely well while actually having people to talk to. The only real people you can find anywhere are the random isolated merchants, I like this guys, but the game actually encourages you to just fucking kill them so there's not really a point.

I should say, the only thing this game does extremely well is be extremely pretty all the time. Even if it reuses enemies and bosses repeatedly unapologetically, at the very least they look cool. The enemies are cool looking, and when I first found some it really made me impressed. Altus Plateau, despite being completely devoid of anything worthwhile at least was extremely pretty, even if it was just a yellow Limgrave.

For a smaller issue, I have only used the crafting menu twice the entire game. I feel like have endless supplies of random flowers and shit but have only found a use for it a couple times, once to make pots to throw at someone for a quest and second to use blood grease to kill someone. Items have the same problem in this game as every Souls game where they're basically useless. No item will ever help you enough to actually be worth using in a way attacking or healing can't.

Overall, for me Elden Ring just felt incredibly forgettable beyond a few bosses, everyone seems to love this game so maybe it's just not for me, idk really, I just feel like I really just don't have the patience anymore, after fighting another erdtree avatar and ulcerated tree spirit in the capital I just can't do it anymore.

idek what the fuck is going on but the girl looks kinda cool

this game almost definitely does not deserve 5 stars but i am mentally ill