cultofbabies
2022
tried my best to enjoy it but even aside from the various technical issues i had - which seemingly got worse each time i played, up to the point of 15-second long game freezes and inputs vanishing into thin air mid-combo - there just isn't much meat on these bones
2022
the fragmented pieces of a perfectly fine Dark Souls IIII, awkwardly spread across a world as bloated with tedious busywork as any of the other modern open world games so many people seem to believe this is so different to
2021
i didn't wanna change from the power language version but now it's a day behind the nyt one so i'm done >:c
2014
This review contains spoilers
War Is Bad, But Stealing Is Even Badder
one night i sent my scavenger Marko out to the school, and while exploring found a group of old homeless people huddling up in the basement. our own household was kind of desperate at this point - and i was a little curious - so i had Marko steal from them. they immediately attacked, and despite outnumbering Marko and all having knives he managed to take out a couple before the rest fled.
this, quite understandably, led to Marko falling into a deep depression while his housemates murmured about how terrible it was that he did what he did – “Those people will never survive when I’ve left them with so little...”
i felt especially bad when i returned to that school the next night to find most of the occupants still hadn't returned.
some time later, i decided to try out the semi-detached house where a trader had set up shop. he wasn't offering much useful stuff, so i had Marko sneak underground into the building he was sat in front of. inside there were 4 or 5 armed goons walking around, guarding a veritable mountain of resources - food, medicine, materials, ammunition, just about everything you could hope for.
at this point, things were getting even worse in our household - Marko was still in his depressive slump, Bruno had been wounded by a raiding party, and we were barely getting by on the scraps of meat we could get from the rat trap we'd set up in the basement.
so, i have Marko steal from these guys. he's in and out without being noticed, there's not a drop of blood spilled, and they still have plenty left over because Marko can only fit so much in his backpack at a time.
this, far from understandably, led to Marko falling even further into his depressive slump while his housemates murmured about how terrible it was that he did what he did – “Those people will never survive when I’ve left them with so little...”
i felt especially perplexed when i returned to that house the next night to find most of the occupants still wandering around without much of a care in the world, somehow having accrued even more resources overnight.
aside from this one anecdote, i don’t really have much to say about the rest of the game. somewhere within it lies an engaging survival/stealth game with some incredible atmosphere, but everything about its Deep, Sombre Game With Something To Say wrapping detracts from that. it’s extremely shallow, with bland writing and a ‘message’ that doesn’t seem to go any deeper than “wow, war sure is miserable!”
one night i sent my scavenger Marko out to the school, and while exploring found a group of old homeless people huddling up in the basement. our own household was kind of desperate at this point - and i was a little curious - so i had Marko steal from them. they immediately attacked, and despite outnumbering Marko and all having knives he managed to take out a couple before the rest fled.
this, quite understandably, led to Marko falling into a deep depression while his housemates murmured about how terrible it was that he did what he did – “Those people will never survive when I’ve left them with so little...”
i felt especially bad when i returned to that school the next night to find most of the occupants still hadn't returned.
some time later, i decided to try out the semi-detached house where a trader had set up shop. he wasn't offering much useful stuff, so i had Marko sneak underground into the building he was sat in front of. inside there were 4 or 5 armed goons walking around, guarding a veritable mountain of resources - food, medicine, materials, ammunition, just about everything you could hope for.
at this point, things were getting even worse in our household - Marko was still in his depressive slump, Bruno had been wounded by a raiding party, and we were barely getting by on the scraps of meat we could get from the rat trap we'd set up in the basement.
so, i have Marko steal from these guys. he's in and out without being noticed, there's not a drop of blood spilled, and they still have plenty left over because Marko can only fit so much in his backpack at a time.
this, far from understandably, led to Marko falling even further into his depressive slump while his housemates murmured about how terrible it was that he did what he did – “Those people will never survive when I’ve left them with so little...”
i felt especially perplexed when i returned to that house the next night to find most of the occupants still wandering around without much of a care in the world, somehow having accrued even more resources overnight.
aside from this one anecdote, i don’t really have much to say about the rest of the game. somewhere within it lies an engaging survival/stealth game with some incredible atmosphere, but everything about its Deep, Sombre Game With Something To Say wrapping detracts from that. it’s extremely shallow, with bland writing and a ‘message’ that doesn’t seem to go any deeper than “wow, war sure is miserable!”
this seems like something i'll like a lot but it runs so poorly on my pc that i can't even make it through the tutorial :c
2013
the only redeeming thing about this game is that it's fun to watch vtubers play it
DJ Atomika deserves the hate that Navi doesn't
of all the changes in my life that occurred in 2020 one of the most positive was me finally deleting this from my phone after playing it every single day for 7 years straight. i had long stopped enjoying it and was only keeping up my streak out of some bizarre sense of pride about having never spent any money on it.
it's kind of a shame because once upon a time i really was getting a lot of fun out of it! they had creative events! they were adding cool characters and buildings and entire new areas at times (they once had a whole thing just for the Monorail)! the writing wasn't Amazing by any standard but it was more often than not funnier than the show's been in close to 20 years now.
then at some point it all just kinda... fizzled out. they'd mined the show for as much content as they could, having to rely on one-off gag characters and unloved later season episodes for new events. it was likely an inevitable decline but still a disappointing one to experience in real time. this, coupled with how poorly the game ran, and then Double Coupled with the ridiculous storage demands of each update, turned the game from a kind of breezy daily ritual into a self-inflicted Sisyphean torment.
also: Milhouse didn't have any voice lines for some reason! why would you leave out Milhouse?!
it's kind of a shame because once upon a time i really was getting a lot of fun out of it! they had creative events! they were adding cool characters and buildings and entire new areas at times (they once had a whole thing just for the Monorail)! the writing wasn't Amazing by any standard but it was more often than not funnier than the show's been in close to 20 years now.
then at some point it all just kinda... fizzled out. they'd mined the show for as much content as they could, having to rely on one-off gag characters and unloved later season episodes for new events. it was likely an inevitable decline but still a disappointing one to experience in real time. this, coupled with how poorly the game ran, and then Double Coupled with the ridiculous storage demands of each update, turned the game from a kind of breezy daily ritual into a self-inflicted Sisyphean torment.
also: Milhouse didn't have any voice lines for some reason! why would you leave out Milhouse?!