hexxter
2021
I gave this game a chance and wanted to like it, but it's not very good. The whole stat leveling system sounds neat on paper, but it just feels like you have so little control over what stats level for a character. Like, you can't control the hp levels of a party member unless you directly attack them, for example. And needing to use magic constantly to level it up is not fun in the slightest. A lot of late game magic is basically unusable without deliberately grinding it because it just starts at level 1. I also literally never grinded once and still felt overleveled for the entire game. Probably my least favorite JRPG I've played, to be honest.
2009
Absolutely insufferable to play. I definitely like the idea of this game, a super shitposty, rpg-like board game. Problem is the game has the worst UI I've seen in my life and it's not even close. It's a browser game from 2009 and it SHOWS. Playing the game once and laughing at it is one thing, but if you're like me and have friends who insist on playing it and, for God-knows what reason, are actually GOOD at it, then it's an absolutely miserable experience as a newcomer. Nonsensical visuals, constantly being assaulted by visuals and prompts relating to the game's many mechanics, and little to no indication for WHY things happen when they do. I've played the game like a dozen times at this point and I still have absolutely no idea what's happening when I play and the game doesn't seem interested in the slightest in helping me understand. Especially when there's one FUCKER in my group who always picks the "illusioner" class, which places fake items in other players' inventories that kill them when used (if you're reading this, you know who you are, fuck you). Because that's nice, as if I didn't already have little idea of what's happening, now I can't trust ANY items that get randomly put in my inventory. When I have had multiple instances of using a spell/item on another player, it reflecting back at me, and I so thoroughly had NO idea why it happened that I spent several minutes Ctrl-F searching through the past 10 minutes of the chat log, only to never find out, that is a sign of such MONUMENTAL failure in UI and visual design that it's genuinely impressive.
This is such a weird game. On one hand, it probably has the best combat in the series. Adding a third controllable character does wonders for this type of combat. On the other hand, there's.... everything else. Characters are boring, story is boring, and it's barely even a crossover. People say only Sticker Star gets referenced, but the truth is NONE of the Paper Mario games get referenced throughout the game. Nothing more than "this character...but PAPER."
Biggest sin of this game, though, is it's pacing. People complain about "toad hunting" a lot, but it's a much bigger issue than that. Origami King integrated hidden Toads into it's gameplay loop and it worked fine, but the problem with this game is the fact that EVERYTHING outside of combat has to be treated like a minigame. Simple scavenger hunts and fetch quests feel the need to cut to a separate scene, restrict you to a limited area, and give you a "ready...GO" with the same like 3 themes playing for each "event." This extends to Toad hunting too, because every time you find a new town you'll need to enter the Lakitu house and choose between the 3-4 new Toad hunts that you just unlocked. And don't save these for later or else you're gonna have a REALLY bad time. This sounds like a weird complaint out of context, but it really takes a nuke to the game's pacing.
Add to that the weak writing and the not-very-good papercraft battles that you're often forced to do and you get what's esily the worst in the series. Not a bad game at all, but could have been so much better. Shame that the last original game in the series had to be such a low point.
Biggest sin of this game, though, is it's pacing. People complain about "toad hunting" a lot, but it's a much bigger issue than that. Origami King integrated hidden Toads into it's gameplay loop and it worked fine, but the problem with this game is the fact that EVERYTHING outside of combat has to be treated like a minigame. Simple scavenger hunts and fetch quests feel the need to cut to a separate scene, restrict you to a limited area, and give you a "ready...GO" with the same like 3 themes playing for each "event." This extends to Toad hunting too, because every time you find a new town you'll need to enter the Lakitu house and choose between the 3-4 new Toad hunts that you just unlocked. And don't save these for later or else you're gonna have a REALLY bad time. This sounds like a weird complaint out of context, but it really takes a nuke to the game's pacing.
Add to that the weak writing and the not-very-good papercraft battles that you're often forced to do and you get what's esily the worst in the series. Not a bad game at all, but could have been so much better. Shame that the last original game in the series had to be such a low point.
2014
This was a shockingly fun and content-rich RPG back in the day. Only held back by the amount of microtransactions. Take a wild guess what Rovio did to it's app store page. I'm just desperately waiting for the day that this game gets a modding scene so we can have a PVZ2 Reflourished-style mod that fixes everything.
2010
2011
2012
2009
Angry Birds, but back before they bloated the game with mediocre content, ads, and microtransactions. Glad I bought the game before it was removed from the store because it was cannibalizing sales from their other, worse games. Would have loved if we got this for their other games, but apparently that's asking for too much. Man, isn't mobile gaming GREAT?
2003
I played the game for a couple hours until I couldn't beat normal enemies anymore because my deck was too weak. Apparently, I "upgraded" too many of my best cards, which made them only playable once per battle. This made the game practically unplayable since all my cards would get countered after just a few plays. I then gave up on the game and watched all the cutscenes on Youtube, skipping to Kingdom Hearts 2 afterward.