princessbeach
the community season four of video games
2022
if great artists steal, this is some of the greatest of the medium. its only major flaw is its unwillingness to be truly inconvenient
2022
the sonic franchise has for years been like an excited child with perpetually disappointed parents, constantly asking "is this good? is this okay? do you like this?"
for the first time in two decades, a sonic game instead says to you "no. this is good. this is okay. you DO like this."
for the first time in two decades, a sonic game instead says to you "no. this is good. this is okay. you DO like this."
this game is so bugfuckedly stupid it's genuinely admirable. you know how stephen king claims he just doesn't remember writing dreamcatcher? like he was in a drug haze the whole time and it just Happened To Him? this game feels more insane than that.
on days when i'm a bitch i WILL claim this is better than unwound future, just to see how much it hurts the people i love
on days when i'm a bitch i WILL claim this is better than unwound future, just to see how much it hurts the people i love
2021
this game is a warning to all writers who dare to think they are above killing their darlings
2001
a slightly old sega naomi cabinet's half-remembered impression of a sonic the hedgehog 2 stage has been performed on command enough to excited relatives at thanksgiving that it's developed its own identity, and that identity has decided it wants to be a cocaine-binging mangaka who visits california every christmas.
the presents it gives its family are useless, but beautiful.
the presents it gives its family are useless, but beautiful.
the game people pretend the original metroid is
2022
maybe, one day, there might be an indie narrative game that doesn't give you one last too-long epilogue victory lap through its world to talk to every character again before closing the book.
there is a moment in beacon pines that caused my jaw to involuntarily drop. it won me over with a sense of infinite possibility. it never quite manages to hit the heights that suggested, but it never falters, either.
there is a moment in beacon pines that caused my jaw to involuntarily drop. it won me over with a sense of infinite possibility. it never quite manages to hit the heights that suggested, but it never falters, either.
initially i buried the lede, but i'm angry enough that i won't: this is a story david cage would write wrapped in a game good enough that he would hate every second of it.
lorelei and the laser eyes is a flawless dollhouse construction of beautiful puzzleboxes. the art and design is excellent and when it pulls a gimmick it pulls it excellently. it pushes, dramatically, towards one-upping the mechanical center of outer wilds' climax (with several more moving parts, each with a highlights mathmania's worth of fun little tricks to solve).
the problem is that the game also wants to one up the emotional climax of outer wilds, and it doesn't know what the fuck a human being is. the best it can offer you is a mannequin, with a mannequin of that same mannequin off to the side, in the corner, winking solemnly. it is a sad joke, an attempt at a gut punch so limp that it made me the angriest i've been at a video game all year. it is rare that i am this impressed by a video game i feel for a moment i might actually hate.
the worst part is that i know these motherfuckers can do the work. there is good writing in many inches of the margins here, and, besides, they've made one bonafide goddamn video game narrative masterpiece (device 6, a much better game than this overall) so it's all the more disappointing.
at least the end credits song is basically another sayonara wild hearts track.
probably the most angry i've been at a video game in years. hell, even twelve minutes was funny to think about.
lorelei and the laser eyes is a flawless dollhouse construction of beautiful puzzleboxes. the art and design is excellent and when it pulls a gimmick it pulls it excellently. it pushes, dramatically, towards one-upping the mechanical center of outer wilds' climax (with several more moving parts, each with a highlights mathmania's worth of fun little tricks to solve).
the problem is that the game also wants to one up the emotional climax of outer wilds, and it doesn't know what the fuck a human being is. the best it can offer you is a mannequin, with a mannequin of that same mannequin off to the side, in the corner, winking solemnly. it is a sad joke, an attempt at a gut punch so limp that it made me the angriest i've been at a video game all year. it is rare that i am this impressed by a video game i feel for a moment i might actually hate.
the worst part is that i know these motherfuckers can do the work. there is good writing in many inches of the margins here, and, besides, they've made one bonafide goddamn video game narrative masterpiece (device 6, a much better game than this overall) so it's all the more disappointing.
at least the end credits song is basically another sayonara wild hearts track.
probably the most angry i've been at a video game in years. hell, even twelve minutes was funny to think about.
2017
a machine-powered "kick me" sign
2002
umihara kawase but scarier
1986
it's nobody's fault that this is a bad game, but thank god it got made
the actual best layton game, fuck the haters, randall 4eva
2022
this game should be twenty dollars instead of five
2003
better than either persona 4 arena