Based on the setup, you'd think this is gonna be some objectives-y GOLDENEYE thing, but no, it's basically just operator-porn QUAKE II. You play as a dorkass in a moustache and bucket hat who, despite appearances, is some kind of Team America-programmed Terminator, shrugging off rocket blasts to the face and slaughtering foreigners in the triple digits every level because THE TERRORISTS HAVE NUKES, MAN.

The mega-cringe central concept does at least allow you to revel in true FPS excess, shredding dudes nonstop and bathing in blood (at one point, literally). The famous enemy-model deforming thing is certainly a guilty pleasure. It actually makes combat quite a lot easier too, as when you run into a group of guys, you can basically just close your eyes and send a bunch of lead downrange at random, probably resulting in a mess of dudes clutching their hands, hopping on one foot with the other one on the floor, holding their guts in, etc. etc., because every bullet hit does something, and then you can just mop them up at your leisure. Not that you're gonna need much help, though. Your starting weapon from second one of the game is a shotgun that's somewhere between a howitzer and the handheld nuke from FALLOUT. You point it in the general compass direction of the enemy and they're losing at least one limb per shot while the audio literally clips from how loud it is. The bog-standard SMG is somehow even better - just point and delete guys. I have no idea why the guns are so powerful, lol, you can just use the simplest loadout and zoom through the entire game. Until the very end that is, when all the enemies have dumbass sci-fi weapons and you don't get real bullets anymore.

So that's fun, to a point. But unfortunately the movement and UI and saving and physics and all the rest of the fundamentals are all pretty much ass, so it can't just be mindless gory fun with you holding your nose at the embarrassing plot and in-engine cutscenes. For every moment of 'fuck yeah' there will be a corresponding one of 'what am I stuck on' or 'why am I uncontrollably sliding at 1mph up this slope like it's reverse ice'. Tends to put a damper on the power fantasy.