Of all the things you could've taken from Blood you chose the spiders? No dynamite naturally so we gotta stick to a shockingly unsatisfying arsenal for pest control; there's an unlimited ammo blaster that feels like a car washing hose, a laser blade that IS effective but for whatever reason has Oblivion's melee sound effects(?) a joke that I'm missing perhaps, but I'm left longing for chapter 1's powerhouses that don't let you take your paws off the triggers. Levels are plentiful but they're so long and tedious, would need a vacation to finish them all. Fuck this smug asshole.

I truly wish real life wars were fought like the ones in this Care Bears special; complete lack of stakes, harm comes to none but the cottonball enemies filled with undying rage, their conviction unfaltering to trap you in one of the blandest combat systems ever conceived, battles so sleep inducing people recommend speed trainers to get to the real meat faster, the hundreds of episodes long battle shounen anime-tier story; stay tuned for the 16th game in the series for that's when shit really hits the fan.

The disdain for modern titles many have often traces to stinkers like this; of course the LOTR inspired fantasy was/is too boring and we have matured now. Blud and segs is all we need, wanting GoT not knowing we would get got; appropriately we are relegated to one dry ass town that is edgier than a hexagon with random spikes lying around everywhere full of OI M8 willing to shank your bum with no regards for your knowledge of the arcane. No more choosing of races because lil Timmy will need a break from MW to play a char he can relate to - the AI generated sheriff of Nottingham with a face scar that's seen some SHIT. Party members oh yeah I love the elf slave femboi, I can fix him; can't fix the weirdo priest tho, nor the pirateslut nor the anxietygal, should hire a real repairman; naturally one of the most requested mods was the one that lets you date your sister cementing this series as the truest successor to Baldur's Gate there will ever be.